The Hiding Place
by SetMeFree1
Summary: A loner at eighteen Elizabeth dreams about one day discovering peace and acceptance outside of PC. Jason Morgan is a hitman whose latest mission involves a member of her family. When their worlds accidentally collide, the reprucussions are permanent.
1. Chapter 1

The Hiding Place- Part 1

_There was a disturbance in my heart, a voice that spoke there and said I want, I want, I want! It happened every afternoon and when I tried to suppress it, it got even stronger. Saul Bellow_

Elizabeth was safe. Her life had gone from murky and low to completely streak free of any problems whatsoever. Port Charles had made all her families dreams come true. Her father wasn't poor any more. Her mother never cried about money and food. None of them had to look over their shoulders for credit companies and debtors .

They had just stopped being poor one day.

Moving had been the fairytale wish they needed to break all the bad luck they survived. Her parents barely fought and when they did it was practiced and civil, disturbingly so. Her sister Sam was out almost every night painting the town ten different shades of red, which Elizabeth couldn't be happier about because it kept her away from the house, therefore away from her immediate presence.

Everything was so perfect. So fucking perfect that Elizabeth Webber wanted to scream her head off.

She was unequivocally the most miserable girl in the world. Senselessly miserable for an awaiting eighteen year old who was off to college, to see the real world, in a month and a half. Adventure of the unknown, hot frat boys, party after party lay dangling at her fingertips and she couldn't muster up one smidgen of glee.

This is what she was waiting for, what had become her only remedy for surviving through each wretched day at Port Charles High School. She thought when she graduated that feeling would come back. The one she always had when she was a kid. Carefree, joyful, no worries, no wondering about tomorrow because she knew there was always going to be someone loved her for who she was. With all their misfortune as a family, they had remained strong together. Life had tested them mercilessly and they had come through because of each other.

Not anymore. Things had changed, life had changed or maybe it was just her.

Everything had happened from graduation to be accepting at her top choice school, but all she felt was reckless and edgy, like someone had dropped tiny eager worker ants under her skin to drive her slowly mad.

" Earth to Liz. The baby's flinging the food."

Without looking up she caught the baby's chubby hand from venturing further into the mashed peas. A half shrieking giggly moan erupted and Elizabeth pushed the hair out of her eyes to watch the mischief reflected in her baby brother. "Don't even think about it," she whispered, scrunching her nose at baby Tom.

His blue blues glistened along with the rouse of his apple cheeks. He answered her with a small shriek this time, batting his arm up and down with Elizabeth's hand encased around it. "Yeah, what are you looking at handsome? Huh. I know mashed peas aren't exactly roast duck but a meals a meal."

Tommy's smile went sideways, showing the stark white of his very first tooth. He bounced in his seat, up and down, his curly hair swaying with it, agreeing with her all the way.

"Mom said to feed him not let the food go stale on his face."

The side of Tommy's mouth was crusted green and Elizabeth reflected begrudgingly that her sister was, on this occasion, right. Her thoughts were a million miles away in twenty pointless directions. The planning, the endless lists of packing surmounted any other duty in her head.

She used the wet cloth next to her to wipe his face and hands and the sudden move immediately agitated the two year old. He brought his arm about as far back as he could, arching his back into the highchair and moaning against the side cushion at the head of the seat.

"I know, sweetie. I know." She answered his moan with a soothing voice that somehow always calmed him. His head was still against the cushion and he played with the fork in the bowl in front of him.

" Mama's going to be home soon okay. There ya go. All done."

Elizabeth pushed the pamphlet from in front of her and stood lifting Tom from the chair and locking him around her hip. The kid weighed a ton, he had rolls upon rolls and Elizabeth could swear a new one grew every day. " I need you to watch Tommy for a bit. I have to go down to the Post Office."

Sam almost spit the water she was drinking from her Evon bottle onto the floor. She cleared her throat several times, wiping the imaginary spill spots from her workout sports bra. " I don't think so."

Her answer was nonchalant but unmistakably clear. She raised her eyes to her sisters, confident that Elizabeth wouldn't win the battle. " I need to go Sam. It's only for a couple of minutes."

" Too bad." She took another gulp. Her skin had a sweaty sheen to it that emphasized her flawless tan. It went perfect with her perfect body. Elizabeth bit down on her gum. Sam looked like she was cut right out of some gym ad in a fitness magazine.

It wasn't a myth than. People could work out, sweat till exhaustion hit and still look model-like hot. Sam had that smoky Victoria Secret thing down expertly so, except maybe the 'secret' part. She was sure Sam had no idea where to start when it came to being deliberately mysterious. Her idea of playing hard to get was wearing a thong instead of no underwear.

Sam's shadow was an easy place to exist no matter how many empty encouraging sighs from well-meaning friends piled up at her feet.

Where Sam's body was dark, exotic with every toned edge, Elizabeth's skin was white and cushiony, softly plain. Sam's eyes had a natural allure to them, her eyelids giving away bedroom glances without invitation. They were slanted just so, a dark natural eyeliner that sloped up then down. Half-lid, a message speaking she was ready for pleasure. Elizabeth's eyes were wide and open, two half crescent moons framing dark blue eyes that no one recognized as blue unless they really looked which no one did. Her lashes were blacker than Sam's, feathered up like the back of a peacock's butt. Her small indistinguishable nose lay center not adding to her face, not doing much of anything. Sam had a great nose as far as noses went. It was small and feminine but had a sexy rounded point at the end that gave her face a feline grace to it. Her lips were small but lush not freakishly full and swollen like her blubber mouth.

Yes, the differences were there, but they weren't skin deep that was for sure.

" Take him with you." Sam turned toward the sink and began pretending to do something. There were no dishes in the sink and yet she kept the water running.

Elizabeth shifted Tommy to her other hip. She winced when his hand stayed latched to one of her curls and it ripped it from the root. " I don't have the car seat Samantha. Mom took her car, obviously. Listen I need to get this in by today. You know I wouldn't ask unless it was important."

She kept refilling the bottle and then dumping out the water.

Elizabeth taped her foot, knowing she was doing a total mom thing but her fury was growing to a maximum level. " Sam."

" Liz."

" Do this one thing for me. Please. I need to get my application in for room and board."

" Too bad. You wait till the last minute you deserve-"

Elizabeth pushed Tommy back up on her hip as he began to slide off. " Okay, for once in your life stop being the selfish wench you are and help me. You know I had to earn this money myself and I didn't get it all in till now. Just, please."

She hated begging. Detested that it was her sister on the receiving end of it. She bit down on her gum harder, playing with the slippery flesh of her mouth as she waited and watched Sam's dull brown eyes spark to life. " And what's in it for me?"

" My respect."

" Not interested."

" I wont tell mom who I saw leaving the house this morning at 5 am."

Sam stilled, her tan complexion suddenly gray from guilt. Her lips puckered, trained on her next words. " What the hell were you doing up that early anyway. Let me guess, reading?" She calmly retorted.

Her dig hit hard but Elizabeth didn't react and focused solely on the end result. There were too many battles scars unattended to make this one any more worth her concern. " Well?"

" Jack and me are seeing each other. I don't have to explain myself to you."

Elizabeth stepped closer, repeating to herself not to lose it. She had a toddler in her arm and a bitch in her sights. Tommy was more important that this. He wasn't some football to be passed around. " You know Mom's rule. No men in the house."

" Just because our parents live in the dark ages doesn't mean-"

" Listen," Elizabeth's hissed, her body jerking as her ribs clenched from controlled anger. Tommy played with the button on Elizabeth's blouse and an air bubble of concentration bloomed from his pouty lips. " I really don't care who comes and goes from the swinging door of your bedroom-"

" You freakin—"

" But," Elizabeth's voice rose then hushed, " But, Mom and Dad are the ones who make the rules. You break them and you're out. Remember?"

She could feel Sam conceding. Her eyes kept dropping back and forth between Tommy and the floor. Man, she had that puppy dog look down flat. Elizabeth darted a quick peek at the clock. Fifteen minutes till the post office closed. Great. Now all she had to do was go ninety and hope all the lights were green.

Damn it.

" I guess I could

A throat cleared behind them. Elizabeth's shoulders went stiff.

" Elizabeth, dear. Do you care to explain to me why you are pawning off your baby brother to Sam when it was your responsibility to take care of him."

She eyed Sam. No wonder that look materialized just in the nick of time. Timing was everything when a good performance was the achievement and Samantha Webber never got stage fright. Instead of fighting back Elizabeth shot Sam a dirty look then strode toward her mother. " Here. I have to go."

Mrs. Webber could only take Tommy with a wide open mouth and sigh hard and harsh at her daughter. " Elizabeth Imogene Webber, you had better explain yourself…"

" Later. I need to get to the post office." She blandly cut through her mother's exasperation, not turning around to watch a look her mother had graced her with more often than necessary. It was wrapped around Elizabeth's memory like octopus tentacles.

The door shut and Mrs. Webber looked back at her oldest child, not levelheaded enough to hide her bewilderment. With her one free hand she pushed back a piece of hair that wasn't there. Her short gray bob was stiff from hairspray and didn't move just bounced back a little when she touched it. Her soft pink t-shirt began to wrinkle only from Tommy's weight. She arched a brow, her brain on autopilot, and asked " What is wrong with her now?"

Sam dumped the Evon bottle into the recycle bin next to the counter. " What is always wrong with her? She's Elizabeth."

Motherfuckingsonofabitchpieceofshithobagslut

" That'll be thirty-nine cents, Elizabeth?"

And fuck. She really hated her sister sometimes.

Elizabeth clutched the inside of her bag knowing exactly where her wallet should be and where it exactly was- on the counter next to the empty bottle of mashed peas.

" Elizabeth?"

Mr. Edelsen's bronchitisy voice halted the flow of foul adjectives in her steam pot of a head. " Um, I…I left my wallet at home. I-"

His old yellowish shaky hand was already up and his eyes were looking for the right button to press on the forty year old clanky register.

" Mr. Edelsen, I'll pay you back, first thing tomorrow morning."

He chuckled at her as he handed her the receipt. Her voice was way too serious for her face and her eyes didn't hold the slightest bit of light in them. " It's thirty nine cents darling. Don't even fret over it."

She shook her head, understanding him completely although it took him a good ten seconds to sputter up a full syllable. " I know, but I'll have it too you just the same."

She smiled at him and he smiled back because she had. He got the vague impression she gifted him with those polite courtesies more out of a sense of obligation than pure benevolence.

Elizabeth Webber had always been a nice quiet girl but there was a breaking mischief that traveled behind her soggy eyes. Mischief and restlessness, like a caged tiger, backed in a corner, but looking for a way out.

" Tell your family I said hello," he suddenly called out as she rushed the other way, head down, only a blur of denim to his old eyes, as she passed the forming line.

She didn't look up and she waved her hand and replied, " Thanks. I will."

Elizabeth checked her bag again. Pocketbooks were nothing but headaches. Up to her elbow in personal junk she didn't remember throwing in there in the first place; Elizabeth stuck half her head in as she leaned her butt against the door to push it open. Halfway open she turned and the crown of her head bounced against something hard sending her bottom back into the glass and making the jingle of the bell above the entrance chime.

" Excuse me," she slowly huffed out.

Her head came up as a flash of blue eyes whizzed passed her and kept going. The veil of hair around her blocked off the stranger, giving her only scattered pieces of a face she didn't recognize.

He kept walking past her and all that remained was the faintest hint of leather in the air. " Jerk."

Elizabeth drove home in complete silence. She liked the silence when she needed it like today. It was one of those days where silence was the only thing that felt right and good.

Sometimes the noise and rush of home could be so comforting, but when things got too trapped and claustrophobic, when people expected and she delivered mechanically she'd realize just how unhappy she could be in every moment. It ate at her. The unhappiness over the past year had slowly become this living breathing thing. It followed her wherever she went, what ever other things remained and drifted away, her unhappiness was something she could always count on being there.

And the damnest part is she didn't know why. She had no real reason to be this way. She had everything and more finally, except maybe love, but that was never something she thought she'd ever find in Port Charles, not with neanderthals who occupied her surroundings. The couple of crushes she had in high school she recapped now as momentary insanity. They never lasted and Elizabeth would find herself in a literal crush mode of disappointment rather than heartache.

Nothing clean cut and precise explained away Elizabeth's discontent. She had more than she deserved. Her health was great; her family life was your normal American dysfunctional type. She was going to the college of her choice and picking the major she wanted- Journalism with a Minor in Abnormal Psychology.

Her life was headed down a path that she had chosen, she had picked for her very own. No one had paid her way, no one was telling her what to do. She was a woman now and she had her whole life stretched out for miles and years, in the palm of her hands…and she didn't know what the hell to feel about it.

Didn't feelings come automatically? Why weren't they just there? The happy bubbly sensations that inspired people to dance in movies and sing on rooftops. That part of her brain must have gotten short- circuited between dolls and puberty. Maybe she needed a good rewiring like a car needed a tune up or something.

The door shut softly behind her. Her bag fell limply from her shoulder in a lumpy thud from all the useless crap in her bag.

" Pumpkin, is that you?"

She ran her five fingers through the tangled mess of unrestrained brown curls, ripping a knot or two as she made her way down the brown jungle. She needed a shower and a really big chocolate chip cookie.

" Yeah Dad it's me. I'm going bed."

The tired sigh in her reply made him peek out of his study. The hall was short enough so that you if you wanted to you could have a whole conversation with a person without being in the same room. The dim light reflected off his peppery hair. It was so neat and perfect and it was nine thirty at night. Elizabeth didn't get it. Her hair was going in ten different directions before noon cracked.

" You okay?" His glasses were to the edge of his nose. His tie was loose and his sleeves were up. He looked so handsome and business like. Not at all like someone who would be her father.

She shrugged her shoulders. " Good. How was work?"

He looked back at his paper as if remembering it was there. " I'm the boss. Always busy."

She breathed out an understanding smile. " Never off I guess. Right pops."

" Never," he answered with mock seriousness. She could tell his head was already calculating numbers and figures by the way his gray eyes kept bobbing up and down the page. " Get some sleep. A good sleep. Mom's worried about you," he mumbled turning the chair back toward the desk.

She had her hand on the railing of the staircase when she heard his last unconscious mutters. " Mom's always worried," she yawned into her chest, dragging her bag with her as if it weighed twenty pounds.

" Go to bed. I mean it Elizabeth. I don't want to hear about any lights being on after midnight."

She would go to bed. Eventually.

Sleep was never something that came hard to her. In fact most of the time she looked expectantly for it. Because it was there, the place between dreams and consciousness that she could want for nothing, The way she wished and hoped was unbridled, unchecked like a child hyper for fulfillment. Actually it was a place where she didn't have to hope because everything just was.

First she would visit the attic. It was her place. Her escape, where she could paint, liberally, and read without interruption. Work on her word puzzles and not hear the sneer in Sam's voice or the bellow from her mother as she vocalized her disapproval with Elizabeth's lack of social interaction.

Her attic was her place. No one really knew she went there and if they did they didn't lead on about it. Everything about it and everything in it from the peeled brown paint, the woody smell, to the dusty antiques that Grams shipped to her last year after the garage sale didn't do well…it was all hers and no one could take that way from her. No one could take away her hiding place.


	2. Chapter 2

_Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.__ William Dement_

She wished she had a chair so she could sit instead of standing. The little window in the attic was a small six-sided shape window with a built in white pane that gave the house the perfect suburban touch. Elizabeth briefly wondered every now and then why the architects who built her home made a window in here to begin with when it served no purpose. She was pretty sure windows in attics were installed for show only and no self-respecting person with a life actually went to the attic, if any window, to look out of at the sky for hours at a time.

Leaning her chin on the base of the window, her eyes scanned the surrounding darkness and the specks of sparkly stars that highlighted the infinite expanse. People really didn't know the glory of the vantage point up here. Everything was closer and intense. It was like a framed painting come to life, a three dimensional work of art near enough her fingertips tingled with the need to reach out and touch what lay so close before her. It was silly and childish to think that way still but in her heart she had always been a dreamer.

Her hand, as if on its own accord, came up and she watched her fingers press into the glass, strum the transparent barrier that separated her from the rest of everything. The world was such a big, big place and she was so insignificant compared to the kind of beauty she witnessed here.

People never mattered much to her. They always fell short on their own accord. Her standards might have intrinsically been set too high but maybe people set them to low. She expected better from others because she wanted better for them. If they didn't believe they deserved it how was she suppose to ever believe it?

Half of the time people walked around pretending to be someone else because they didn't like or know who was inside them, waiting to come out, and the other half proud of their many flaws, never had the guts to change or better themselves. She was somewhere in the middle probably, but her half glass empty approach at life tipped the scales unfavorably for her when pressure of peer approval turned it's big fat ugly head.

Kids her age were just stupid and that's all there was to it. There was no mystery behind their rebellion. She was sure the majority of her high school drank and smoked and they had absolutely no clue why. Part of Elizabeth wished she could find intrigue in such trivial activities as getting high or hooking up with the head football player, but for some odd, inescapable reason, none of life's present pleasures captured any morsel of interest to her rather unsatisfied but yearning mind.

Maybe something was just seriously wrong with her and everyone else had the right idea all along.

Wherever the problem lay, heart or mind, she hoped going away to school would cure it. It was lonely being so out of tune with everyone.

A slow and steady breath from her nose steamed the window. The moon was slightly hidden behind the big oak tree on Jefferson Street. It was way past one then and definitely time for bed, time to dream.

The knock on the door was definitely her mothers. Her father's rapt was short and to the point. If you didn't answer after one time he was coming in whether you were ready for him or not. Mother's knock was always soft but lingering like it was telling you she was waiting and the longer you took to answer the harder and more obnoxious the knock became.

Still half asleep, Elizabeth decided to ignore it. Her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth and she didn't have a vital bone in her body that contained enough effort to work properly.

After several more passive aggressive knocks, Mrs. Webber's short fuse of cordiality had run its course. Elizabeth's right eye slit open to look at the alarm clock on her nightstand. Five minutes was asking a lot when it came to the patience of a Webber woman. Elizabeth guessed she should consider herself lucky.

" Elizabeth. Are you up? Its after ten dear."

Elizabeth sighed into the pillow, banging her forehead into the soft surface. _Go away_ the mental scream in her mind echoed.

" Elizabeth." She opened the door a crack, her eyes darting in first like someone was about to jump her. Her large brown eyes scanned the room quickly and then opened the rest of the door apparently relieved by something quite inescapable to Elizabeth's momentary brain fog. She wasn't expecting a boy to be hiding in the closet was she? Maybe she got the rooms mixed up again.

Her shoulders were squared and her dress was the perfect shade of blue to match her pale complexion. Her earrings were identical to her necklace and the cut of her hair complimented her homemaker look. She was a June Cleaver clone if there ever was one. How they were related still mystified Elizabeth. There was a DNA test out there somewhere that had to say different…what a boring soap opera cliché that would make.

" Don't you think its time you stopped being miss lazy bones?"

" Ump," was all Elizabeth could muster up.

" Hmm," her hmm was obnoxiously pert and unpleased. " Sam is out and I am going into the office in a half hour. It's Thursday, grocery day Elizabeth."

Elizabeth rubbed the one eye that wasn't covered by the puffy pillow with her knuckle.

" I know what day it is."

" Than you know its grocery day."

She waited for her to confirm and when Elizabeth just dropped her hand back to the pillow her eyes became white and alarmingly buzzed with annoyance. " I am talking to you."

" Im listening. Go shopping, take care of Tommy. I've been doing it every Thursday." Elizabeth waved her hand in the air, the comforter riding up her body with each move. " Its not rock science. I got it."

Mrs. Webber eyed a piece of clothing on the floor like it was a grenade and picked it up with one finger. She hummed when she was mad. She was humming now mostly because she knew she was overtly incapable of ignoring the fact that she was pissed and she didn't want her own daughter to get the better of her steel composure. Even from Elizabeth's disadvantaging position the hum was crisp and staccato. Her mother was holding onto what little patience she had by a fine piece of thread.

" Honestly, my dear, this place looks like it was ransacked by gypsies. I know you work a lot but that's no excuse. Look at you father, he works eighty hours a week and he takes care of us at home. You always admire him, why don't you start taking after him too."

She contemplated whether to actually answer her mother or just let it slide like she usually did. There was a bit of drool on her mouth and she wiped the corner with her pajama sleeve. She was eternally sluggish and couldn't seem to dictate her own body to move. " Ill be down soon."

Mrs. Webber was closing the door but spoke with a distinct sharpness that held her presence looming over Elizabeth. " I left the list on the kitchen counter. Tommy should be up from his nap in about an hour. Make sure you do whites and pick up this mess before you do because you're not going to have time to do it later."

" Why?"

She felt her mom roll her eyes at the ceiling. " Because me and your father have that dinner for Corinthos/Morgan factories to go to. I told you last weekend and if you listened-"

" Right, right." Elizabeth leaned her forehead into her hand, crouching on the floor and not remembering where all the damn clothes came from. She didn't wear half of them, she could cross her heart on that one. " I don't get why you have to go. Dad hates social events –"

" You know why…he's their New York Accountant for this region…all the workers are invited."

There was a neon green thong next to her teddy Fred. Okay that was definitely Sams'.

She could hear her mother shuffling her feet outside the door. " Whatever. Okay."

The floor cracked close and Elizabeth bit her lip, bracing herself for another round of whats with your attitude, but then the crack disintegrated into a soft distant moan and she knew her mother was headed downstairs.

August could not come fast enough.

" Juice, juice, Juicy."

" Yeah, I get it kid, you want juice." Elizabeth kissed the small hairs that covered his soft head. He started bouncing about five minutes into the produce aisle. The big orange container of orange juice had his eyes lightning and dancing around like a ferris wheel. Juice was not on the list but if she had enough money to spare and enough patience to hear her tight- fisted mother railroad her spontaneity with money, she'd get it for Tommy.

She halted her cart at the snack aisle. Dad always liked those honey mustard pretzels and they were on sale. She shook the long list out in front of her to see if she made any sort of dent. Milk-check. Laundrey Detergent-check. Boneless chicken breasts, milk- check.

Tommy grabbed her index finger and dug his tiny baby nails into her. He squealed delightfully breaking Elizabeth's concentration. His laugh was purely infectious and her chest warmed as he continued his unprovoked giggle fest. " You are too funny. What the heck has got you so riled up…you little punk."

She pinched his cheek and he laughed harder which made her laugh. " You are a little punk you know that."

He answered by waving his hand around. " Juice."

She chuckled in her throat and started to move the cart again. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You just want me for my juice."

As she turned to the next aisle marked baked goods her gaze immediately spotted Sam and her best friend, Courtney Matthews. Lord, no. Cheering the fight song naked in front of her graduating class would constitute a fond moment in her life over having any minimal interaction with either one of the intellectually- stunted, air-sucking wannabe MTV stars presently sharing the her airspace.

After the quick gaze she began to swing the cart back toward safe ground but the metal wheels groaned and the fatal noise drew both girls' attention.

Elizabeth didn't wait for them to think of something clever to say. It would take way to long and nightfall was only eight hours away. " I thought you were working."

Sam stilled and then started walking again, more catwalk in her step. She flung her Veronica Lake bangs out of her face five times before she checked the cart, not really looking just trying hard to be intimidating and failing miserably. " I'm on break."

Courtney sneered harder making her obvious attempt to mimic Sam sad and laughable. Her arms were crossed over her halter top which was always a scary position to be in if you were an innocent bystander. The plastic surgeons called it a work of 21st century art and Courtney had swallowed the lie along with the rest of the town who kept their eyes above neck level. A botched boob job was a botched boob job and when noticeable scary vein tumors custom made with their own individual heartbeats became a showcase, decorated with the finest of cashmere, one's eyesight was bound to stray south of the border.

" Elizabeth. Still picking on your split ends I see. You know they just opened a Super Cuts down the road."

Elizabeth's one eye brow slanted down. " Courtney. How's the herpes?"

Courtney looked at Sam, maybe for permission to pound her. Elizabeth could only guess. Girl cliques had this amazing ability to transform the smartest individuals into the biggest space heads that walked the planet. She remembered once upon a time ago when Sam was actually cool. " Its not herpes, it's a cold sore. There's a difference." Courtney moved her tan hand to her hip. " How's life? Or would you even know since you've never really had one?"

Playing with Tommy's overalls pocket Elizabeth scratched her nose and stared hard at Courtney. " Well if having a life requires bed-hopping from dorm to frat house you must be considered quite the expert . Your parents must be so proud."

" Elizabeth."

Courtney cut her off. " How would you know what goes on? You've never been to one party in this town, but then again why would they invite pathetic antisocial losers."

The carriage was behind her and she didn't remember moving forward but she was in front of Courtney in all her tanned glory. So blonde and so tan the bright lights of the grocery story almost made it unbearable to look at her without holding her hand up to block the glare. Elizabeth's disgust was unabashed and rolling off her like toxic fumes.

" I don't have to be a partier to know what goes on around here. Apparently you're social interactions are groundbreaking for these parts. Its not everyday you meet someone who can spread their legs faster than –"

" Elizabeth, cut the shit now."

" Tell Barbie to get out of my face." Her hands came up for the list and found it in her pocket. She was fuming and she needed something to occupy her shaking limbs which were itching to knock Courtney's block off.

" You're jealous."

Elizabeth walked back to the cart, lifting the groceries to situate more room. " It's called disgust actually. Look it up in the dictionary under D. That's right after C in case you needed a jumpstart."

" Knock it off." Sam waved her hand in the air and tucked her bangs behind her eyes.

She looked back at her blonde shiny friend. Both their chests were covered in glitter and their smoky makeup conveyed more of a come- do- me look than come hither. The Slutsy Twins is what Elizabeth liked to call them.

She heard Sam say, " She's not worth it. Let's go," and when Elizabeth turned they were half way down the aisle but she could still make out some of their words. They were laughing about something she knew her mind would stop short of finding funny. She heard the word party again and then they both shrieked in excitement, linking their pinkies together like two demented red riding hoods on the way to grandma's house.

Elizabeth paused, something low and sinking settling in on her. She would never want to be like that. Ever. She looked back at Tommy who was sucking on his closed fist. He was happy and content in his own little world. She glanced back in the direction Sam left, suddenly wondering where they were going and what they were going to do and for some odd reason her stomach dropped. Why did she suddenly feel so jealous?

" Your change ma'am. Seventy-five cents."

" Thanks." Elizabeth smiled more warmly than necessary. She didn't know why but she was still reeling from her sour encounter with Sam and Courtney.

Jealous? Jealous. It made no sense. What would they ever have, possess, hold, or carry that she, Elizabeth, could ever in her life want? Nothing. Nothing that she couldn't get somehow, someway on her own. She had plenty of book and street smarts to acquire the needs and wants of her desire.

Her physical reaction was more like a good ol' stomach turning from prolonged contact with artificial waste. Her stomach fluids were probably just churning from the acidic stench of their fried skin.

" Juice." Tommy's head popped up from behind the receipt.

" Yes, juice. We got it stinky so hold your horses." She ruffled his practically nonexistent hair again, pushing the cart with her forearms as the mechanical door opened. The receipt was clipped between her two fingers, processing the computerized list of goods and prices. Calloused knuckles brushed her dangling ones at her side. Her nerves stood in attention and Elizabeth involuntarily lifted her eyes as someone hard and big squeezed it's way between the cart and door.

The cart stopped when her body inside did. A ruckus of awareness shot beneath her clothes and skin and every layer in between. She went to reach for something but she didn't know what. Leather stampeded her senses and the familiar scent snapped her mind awake. With an unintentional lurch she pushed the cart forward hard with her palms.

She eyed him up and down and hoped he sensed it as she mumbled to herself. " Freaking asshole." All of sudden scared and mad at herself for reacting so boldly and without thought.

He stopped from retrieving whatever was in his back jean pocket just as the last words slipped past her unguarded tongue. She froze and his shadowed brow followed her transparent reaction, seeming to know where she trembled. His eyes met hers. It was like watching lightning strike open water. She had never seen such blue. It was the man from the post office. It had to be.

The heaviness of his stare made her uncomfortable and whatever rude comment tipped weighty on her tongue, it melted right then and there. Her stomach iced up and bunched together just as a warm tingle crawled over and around on her backbone.

She knew he heard her and the rash outburst had her she reddening and looking away meekly. It was primitive reaction to getting caught she told herself, but it didn't last long. Tommy's gurgle broke the invisible cloud around her; her brother's presence flipping her instincts on their back to maternal and protective in a snap's time. Her eyes flared back at his. His eyes darted down quickly to her hands, her physical response to him evident as they continued to shake. She shoved them into her coat pockets, not breaking her stare with his.

When her chin came up the heat in his stare quickly evaporated, a small tinge of allowed amusement permeating through, causing the back of her neck to burn. He broke contact first and something intangible fell between them when he looked away. His teeth scrapped his bottom lip in a measured step and his eyes arrowed around the area as if contemplating whether it was safe to look at her again. His head, then, shook slightly, his mouth never smiling and he walked away in the opposite direction.

His stride was arrogant and wide. He was definitely not from these parts and Elizabeth was glad. She let out a shaky breath, the only breath she had let herself have in the past minute, not recalling holding it all this time. Her fingers pinched the inside material of her coat before using the back of her hand to wipe to the sweat on her forehead.

Her feet felt stapled to the floor but she forced herself to walk. Out of towners could be ….Elizabeth stopped herself. She wasn't going to think about it. He was just some guy. Just a big city mucho guy to above everyone else to wait like normal people.

Before she knew it she was unloading Tommy and putting the groceries in the backseat, busying her mind, her unyielding thoughts. Dinner needed to done. Laundrey still needed to washed. Her room…good lord…needed to be fumigated. Blue eyed strangers with haunting eyes from nowhere didn't fit into her time at all and it was a good thing because she had no time to spare.

The paint splattered in every different direction, landing everywhere but on the canvas. She stepped back in reflection, her eyes squinting. The dominant side of her came bubbling up, ready to sling harsh critiquing words. Art this was not. It was more garage sale décor than a therapeutic outing of emotions. Elizabeth never said she had talent, just a lot of emotion. So much so, she had no choice but to take it out on the 9.99 dollar canvas' she purchased at the local art store that just opened up.

It actually worked too. Elizabeth didn't know why she was surprised. She had tried keeping a journal but the words never came out fast enough for her hurried emotions. Walking along the docks at night didn't work. Her mother used to try and force her to go to Dr. No-Pressure-Just-Chat- Lowe. She assumed Elizabeth didn't want to talk to any member of their family so maybe the family shrink would help.

Elizabeth huffed humorously, her eyes focused on the blue paint as it dripped down on long white canvas in a musical sort of swaying way. It wasn't the shade that had been running through her mind all day but as close seconds go especially with the moon's beams hitting strong against it, this blue was sharp and loud and almost provoked the same reaction it had earlier in the supermarket.

Throwing paint worked. So she threw some indigo around, splashed some Victorian gold over it then took her brush and swirled it around. She didn't think about what she was doing, she didn't care if any of it looked right or made sense to her. All that was in range between her mind and her extended hand was the people in her life and what she never said to them and always wanted to.

The things she never talked about, the hurtful words they all thought she brushed off because she was cold fish Elizabeth. The nights she crept to the top of the stairs and listened as the rest of her family discuss her and her 'attitude' problems. All they cared about was how it brought the family down, how it made them look to the rest of the town because Elizabeth wasn't social like Mom or a natural charmer like Dad. She didn't possess the Webber family beauty that Sam inherited with her dark sensual eyes, her mocha skin, and her flawless complexion and bone structure.

But it was all there. On the canvas. Whether anyone else could see it or not the anger, the hurt, the frustration paraded across in all its' brilliant nonsense. Every streak and slap of paint cleared her somehow, drained her, like a good old fashion cleansing.

Elizabeth scratched her cheek, blue paint streaking down in a line where her finger had been. Her mood was oddly complacent now. Hollow too, but that was hardly odd because she always had that as her company. It was strangely familiar but after beating out her rage on canvas her emptiness went from comforting to alarming buzzed. Wired and no where to go.

She tossed the paint brush and crossed toward the only opening in the room, where the rest of the world lay and lived. She wondered if anyone else ever did what she did; spent their life objectifying everyone else, almost like a movie while she never experienced anything herself. She told herself every time her thoughts ventured into dangerous roads like this that it was better to be safe than sorry. Holding yourself back from hurt and disappointment was much smarter. And she managed to convince herself each time she slipped that she was living her life the right way. She was.

The moon was brighter than most nights and its' reflection turned the road pavement silver. The leaves on the trees rustled together like an orchestra. Life on her street was still and eerily dead waiting for dawn, for life to come back and color nature up again. There wasn't a single thing moving-

Elizabeth's eyes halted. Something dark moved in the left corner of the window. Her head slanted, coming up on her toes to make sure she wasn't seeing things. For a moment nothing changed, the street, the trees didn't move, and she was back to relaxing, her tension fleeting as quickly as it had pounced on her. Then she saw movement again. Across the street, between the sidewalk and the tree on the Netterman's yard, there was a figure in black.

Her ribs sucked in, her body singeing with some sort of fear she didn't know what to do with. Whoever it was looked right at their house; the form never wavered, just stood in her general direction and stared. She had been looking out the window for at least five minutes just now but he could have been there…she didn't want to guess how long.

Elizabeth felt stripped and a little violated. Her urge to check the locks downstairs had her calling herself a ninny.

A moment later, a moment too long for her, the man walked away. He walked in the opposite direction, nothing about him was distinct enough to make out any sort of identification to the police. Besides what would she say? A figure in the dark was staring at her house past town curfew. They'd pat her head and call her Dad down to the station before any paperwork would become a necessary next step.

His clothes were black and his hair looked black even though it might not have been. Elizabeth tucked her bottom lip in her mouth. That was strange. She knew he was watching the house. His face was pointing in that direction and it never moved, like he was studying something.

She strummed her hands on the bottom of the window. He was gone now. Maybe he was just there to investigate. He could have been a drifter looking for a place to stay or homeless. Her convincing skills definitely needed tweaking because no matter what her creative mind conjured up, nothing was making her feel better and that was the oddest thing. If there was one thing Elizabeth was good at it was convincing herself of something, whether it was true or not. Hell she had been doing it her whole life.

The static on the phone made his words almost imperciptable. " I want this done as soon as possible. No mistakes. You hear me."

He was angrier than usual not that he could blame him. Betrayal had the funny way of bringing out the worst in people. " I got it."

" No mistakes. The minute you get this done I want you back here. We have arrangements to take care of."

He heard his boss say it a hundred times but he listened intently as if it were the first and only time he would hear the crucial command. " Consider it done. I'll be on a flight home Monday morning latest."

" Good." The phoned clicked and he knew what he had to do. It was simple. Get in, execute the mission, leave nothing behind, and get out. The job was second nature to him and as a hitman he knew exactly what to expect.


	3. Chapter 3

The Hiding Place-Part 3

_Be great in act, as you have been in thought. William Shakespeare_

Dinner with the Webbers was always a fun event in Elizabeth's household. Any normal masochist would find the ambiance inviting, a warming highlight to top off the day. Starting off with burnt steak that had her molars bleeding from overwork, a side of vegetables that started out as steamed carrots had somehow transformed into a lumpy puke-looking soup, add tension palpable enough to cut through with a butcher's knife as your dessert and you'd have a full course meal at your fingertips.

It was, of course, Sam's turn to cook. Elizabeth was prepared. Bread only.

" Pass the bread please."

Elizabeth found it in front her without looking up and passed it the same way. She turned the page of the book that was stuck in between her plate and her napkin; nibbling on the same piece of bread for the past half hour

Mrs. Webber made eye contact with her husband, not for permission but for a good kick in the ass look. He shrugged his shoulders and mouthed leave it be instead. Her frown was hard and it made her whole face drop along with her mouth. She wiped the corners with her napkin out of habit not requirement. " Elizabeth, dear, what are you reading?"

" What do you-"

Elizabeth's father cleared his throat and hoped it cleared the stuffy air around them. " What book is that?" he asked as if it appeared familiar to him. He slid his glasses up and pretended to try and read the cover even though it was covered.

" Tamora Pierce's lastest novel. It's fantasy."

Her mother spoke her next words like lemon juice was poured over her tongue. She patted the back of her bob of hair. " That's nice. Fantasy. You like fantasy writing?"

Another page turned. " Some."

" What's the story about? Witches and goblins or something?"

Elizabeth had to force her eyes not to roll back in her head. At the rate they were going to get stuck their permanently. She plopped the rest of the bread on her uneaten plate, brushing the crumbs with her fingers into her lap. " Nope."

" Well it must have magic in it?" She kicked her husband under the table and Elizabeth's eyes bobbed in between them, finding them both rigid and constipated looking. It was the combo of the two that always made her want to laugh. They were so scared of her being difficult and hard to handle yet she wasn't a threat to them at all. Couldn't they see that?

Her face remained buried in between the pages, not really reading but not really paying attention to the volley of thinly concealed visual exchanges her parents were bouncing back and forth. Sam was oblivious, her Ipod blaring a song she didn't recognize but could bet money it was pop or rap. Her mouth kept trying to follow the voice in the song but she would stutter a step behind each beat and end up giving a great Stevie Wonder impression minus the mouth full of cow carcass. American Idol here we come. Not.

" Tamora Pierce…she isn't related too. Oh, who was that other writer you always liked. I remember when you were little we'd go to the bookstore and every time one of her new novels came in you'd freak out and none of us would see you for days until you finished it." Her mother smothered a fake laugh in her napkin while her father patted Elizabeth's hand, giving it all small gentle squeeze when Elizabeth didn't jump in to share their fondness at the memory.

" Some things never change." Sam's throaty voice broke through, a decrescendo of spite to Elizabeth's ears.

" So true," Elizabeth murmured low, her hair falling around her face, " Good thing mom and dad didn't pay for those singing lessons. Just think about all the broken china we saved."

" At least I can carry a tune, tone deaf girl."

" Carry it where? So the nearest zoo animals can hear the call and start herding together to make a break for it. Don't quit your day job."

Mrs. Webber tapped the linen table cloth. " Stop. Both of you this instant." She smoothed her hand over dress than over her hair again. When everything felt in place just as it had been five minutes ago, she appeared lighter, more refreshed, ready to start the conversation over again. " Elizabeth, can you please put the book down for minute."

Capable, of course, willing? Not really. The only thing that stopped her defenses from kicking in and splattering them with her machinegun tongue was avoidance. She didn't want to fight. Especially with her father. He hated arguments. It made him anxious and jittery. He was an accountant. He was used to peace and quiet, things he could figure out with a t-82 calculator. People were never his strong suit, but he was a big strong teddy bear who worked himself ragged for his family. He was her big strong teddy bear and she wouldn't start a war with her mother no matter how tempting she offered it to her.

She closed the book, her hand sliding down the smooth cover before placing both her hands in her lap and leaning against the back of her chair for support. She had a feeling it was the only support she was going to get tonight. As much as she loved her dad, he was under his wife's thumb and he seemed to like it there just fine.

" Okay." Elizabeth didn't know where to look so she picked a spot above Sam's head, where her mother had an old photo of all them up at Bear Mountain. She had to be ten the oldest. Sam was fourteen going on twenty; red bikini, boobs bordering on a b cup, hair shiny from the lake water. She, demanding her own identity even at ten, was in shorts and a tank top, her hair pulled back, curls popping out at the sides. Her grin was large, her teeth shiny from braces. Her parents were behind them, arms wrapped around each other and them like a protective circle that no one could penetrate. Tommy wasn't born yet. Just the four musketeers. That was a great summer.

A whoosh of air expelled from her mother's chest. Was she preparing for a track meet?

" Your father and I have been talking dear. You know we love you and we don't want you to get mad or anything, but we are a little concerned about your behavior recently."

" Behavior?"

" Yes. I mean I know you always considered yourself the odd one out. You don't like a lot of the same things we do. I understand that, but this spring you seemed happier. Graduation, the prom, I thought that changed your perspective on life. I mean you were so thrilled when you got accepted into Colorado State. What happened, honey?" She placed an outstretched hand on the table but never touched Elizabeth. Probably too much of an effort to reach out that far.

Elizabeth gazed at the remnants of food in her place. The steak was probably hard as a rock and the steamed carrots were now watery chunks of whatever food looked like in your stomach . " I don't know what you want me to say," she softly admitted.

" What changed? Why are you all mopey again? You have everything you want."

Elizabeth licked her upper lip then her lower, stalling to think of the cookie cutter answer they wanted to hear. " Im fine. I just have a lot on my plate right now. Preparing for school, work, taking care of Tommy."

" We all do our part to make this family run, honey." Her tone was mildly defensive, probably why she stuck the word honey in there.

" I never said you didn't. Im just trying to answer your question. What do you want from me?"

" For you to be happy." Mr. Webber leaned over and pinched her turned down nose.

" You look miserable. No beautiful daughter of mine should ever be miserable."

" Im not." Elizabeth shook her head lightly, keeping her voice level with her act. " I just have a lot to think about. Im fine really."

He didn't believe her. She could tell by way his eyebrows pulled together and slanted at the gap of his forehead. " This is your last summer with us before you go away. Have fun. Come on pumpkin. You don't see Sam sitting around and she has a fulltime job."

She purposefully avoided making eye contact with her sister. Smug people made her eyes water and itch. She played with the napkin at the side of her plate, folding it and unfolding it. Fingering the natural lined crease up and down. " Are we done here?" she heard herself croak up after too much silence.

Silence alone she loved, silence with her family hovering over her was like Chinese water torture. She'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under her fingernails.

Disheartened by his efforts, her father remained tranquil in his defeat, pushing his carrots away and playing with his last piece of steak, " You know we love you pumpkin. If you want to talk…we're here. We just want to see you happy, okay? No pressure."

The tautness in his posture released itself and he appeared once again like her father, pleased that they had at least talked. Confrontation wasn't his thing, not that she could fault him, it wasn't hers either. Her mother's motor, on the other hand, was just sputtering to life. " Why don't you go out?"

" Mom, please-"

" Tomorrow night. With Sam." Her face lit up with childlike naivety, a smile so natural and unplanned, it was a bit scary. Had she bumped her head when Elizabeth wasn't looking and forgot who her daughter was and what her routine answer would be?

Sam nearly choked on the reused gum she had barely placed in her mouth after she had stuck it on the edge of the plate. " Umm, excuse me." She eyed Elizabeth like a walking hobo that was about to jump her. " She is not going with me."

Elizabeth scraped a curl from her forehead, tugged it sharply behind her ear. " What she said."

Mother refused to listen. She simply acted like she didn't, growing more excited by the second. " Oh, come on. Elizabeth is leaving for school in a few weeks. You will never get another chance to do something like this together. Hey, it may change your relationship…your life."

Sam's freckled nostrils waved in disgust. " Mom, don't be dramatic. It's a party not a ball at the White House."

" Well," she concluded brightly, " you never know. Come on. What could happen? You actually go and dance and meet new people and, god forbid, have a good time together."

She covered her mouth, mockingly shocked at the foreign concept. " Samantha, please."

Sam's mood swing kicked in and she pretended like she was too cool to care. " Whatever. Doesn't matter to me. Elizabeth wont know anyone there so I don't think she will have much fun…" she drawled on, each excuse, word, more irritating then the next.

She was trying to get under Elizabeth's skin and it was working. " Can I be excused?"

" Elizabeth." Her mother clicked her tongue, playing with the chipped nail polish on her thumb, vexed from head to toe.

" I-I"

" Mom, if she doesn't want to go she doesn't want to go. Please, she would stick out like a sore thumb anyway. Save this family a little embarrassment. I don't want her ruining my fun since she doesn't know how to have any. She'd probably just sit there and bring her pocket dictionary, trying to pass out word scrabbles. I don't need that, thank you."

Elizabeth gripped the front of her chair, the linen of her tablecloth bunched in her sweaty palm. " Shutup." Her mind went blank with fury, washing her personally- styled and perfectly timed sarcasm away.

Sam folded her arms under her breasts, pronouncing to the other half of the world that didn't know that she had cleavage stacked high up to her clavicle. " You know I'm right."

Water appeared behind Elizabeth's eyes. It was alien to her. She hadn't shed a tear in so long. A chain reaction occurred, her arms ached to be held and her whole body softened into a pile like the mushed carrots on her plate.

Fuck. Everyone was scrutinizing her as she fought to control herself. She turned her back and began her steps to her retreat upstairs. Her knees knocked together. Her joints and muscles screaming to ball up and release itself. Not now, she wouldn't dare.

" Elizabeth." Her mother's voice sounded almost tender, pitiful. Something punched harder inside her, squeezing the strength inside like a damp rag. She was stronger than this. She didn't need her mother's rehearsed sympathy.

" Please, dear-" Her father interjected, standing from his seat, pushing his tie down, awkward from all this emotion. He wasn't used to it as well. Neither was she. " Pumpkin, what's wrong? Come on. Don't walk away. You always-"

Her death grip on the banister tightened and the wood squeaked beneath her hand. She predicted down to the stinging adjectives where the ugly road of this conversation was headed down. God made some mouths for pleasure, others for talking their way out of trouble. Her mouth was a human road block and it ended here. " Ill go."

" What?" all three said in perfect unison.

" I said," her words slipped out exhausted. It was hard work holding back. " I'll go."

Her parents jumped to each other. Hugging one another like Publishers Clearing House had just stopped in with a big fat check and two TV cameras in their face. Sam stayed seated, her smugness waning a bit. The little hamster in her head must have tripped on the metal wheel because she looked blank. " Fine by me," she whispered.

" Good." Elizabeth grabbed what little satisfaction she could draw and smiled as bright as sunshine. She shrugged her shoulders innocently when Sam looked in between her two parents and than at her accusingly. Detouring the conversation as far away from her psyche as was humanly achievable was the easy part, her parent's twenty-one questions _after_ the party is what was going to certainly kill her.

" Ill see ya tomorrow night sis." And she bounded up the stairs, taking two at a time, body worn and wound tight. Her soul was tired and her mind hurt from all the unnecessary drama her family caused. She flew past her bedroom, aching with a parched man's thirst to be up in her high place. Her safe haven. Where she could just be.

It was ironic with all the places she could go and escape to, liberate herself from her suffocating environment and it was her home she longed for. A place that understood her even if the people inside the house didn't.

Three in the morning, his cell phone woke him out of a deep thought not sleep. He sat in front of the window, his long legs perched on the wood, his motorcycle boots crossed over each other languidly. He was watching nothing but he kept doing it anyway. His view was a small parking lot with ten spaces and none of them occupied save his motorcycle.

He leaned against the back of the chair making the hind legs tilt to reach the table behind him. The scratch of the two day old hair on his face had his other hand occupied as he pressed the talk button. He didn't answer, just listened.

" How are things there?"

Jason Morgan didn't blink, his eyes were trained on the black sky, the dingy streetlights and the buzz of the neon motel sign. No one was on to him. Yet. His lips shifted, puckering hard in thought.

" As expected."

" Good," he could sense Sonny nodding on the other end. This wasn't an unusual assignment but complicated and about to get messier. Personal feelings and business didn't mix. It made the job sloppier and Jason hated that part. He liked things done clean and cut, but when your back was against the wall, you had to face the music whether you were ready or not.

" Listen I know sending you up there alone was risky especially with this job, but you're the only one I trust to do this right. I cant have any slipups. That's how we got here in the first place."

" I know what to do."

Jason heard his boss swallow on the other end. They had been sidetracked for too long and it had cost them almost half their profits. Someone from right under their nose had betrayed them and Jason was here to make them pay.

" Shut down the factory first. I don't want any trace left then finish what he started. For good, Jason. Finish him." There was a loud bang, the crack of an open palm against wood. Jason didn't flinch at the bite in Sonny's command. Every last word ended with a roll of accented vengeance from his tongue. Jason could practically hear Sonny salivating. He knew his thoughts were consumed with nothing else but of justified blood shed. Sweet revenge.

" I'd better go."

Sonny didn't argue, but his words did come out short and hesitant." Check in with me tomorrow… before everything goes down, alright?"

" Yeah."

" Bye."

His thumb pressed the off button. He stroked the numbered buttons up and down with his thumb unconsciously. Lost in thought, his mind's eye was a straight line of concentration. Sonny's words played through as well. There was much at stake here but it needed to be done or they risked an even greater chance at being taken down from all sides, competition and law enforcement.

Jason rose to his feet and peered out the window. His hand came up, spreading over the glass like a fleshed spider. Sonny had picked him because he trusted him. It was part truth with only one half of it told to him. The other half implied, understood without ever being vocalized between the two men. The silent truth was Jason had no attachment to anyone in case things went wrong and someone was going to get fingered. If he got nabbed or died which was highly unlikely, no one would ever know. He and his life would disappear like a puff of smoke. That was what made Jason Morgan invaluable to Sonny Corinthos and his special assignments.

Jason was the shadow of Sonny Corinthos organization. He was the muscle behind the muscle. Bodyguards were just a statement, he was the force behind that statement.

He had no family, no siblings, not even a regular female attachment that could trace his steps. All people knew was his name because it was grouped next to Sonnys'. No one knew who Morgan was. Not even the legitimate business side of their operation had ever seen him. He was the silent partner. Deadly silent.

When Sonny Corinthos wanted someone to disappear off the face of the earth Jason made it happen. He didn't break guys jaws or play referee to inside squabbles. He killed. He killed because it eliminated Mr. Corinthos' problems. That was Jason Morgan's job. Being a ghost was just a lucky perk for his boss….a ghost that moved in and out of towns so quick and quiet not even the tumble weeds stirred from the aftershock.

Seven years ago Sonny had picked him off the street. No family, just a juvey record and a lot of scars to back that record up. He was a runaway from a broken home. The running part was something he could someday do without. He didn't mind his job. He was good at it and it came easy to him. Stealth and speed he mastered in high school. He still remembered baffling his football coach with all the slippery moves he ran on the field. It was the one damn thing he enjoyed in school besides graduation. School was a nuisance. He didn't care that he graduated by the skin of his teeth. He was out and that was all the mattered.

The gang he joined at eighteen played with nothing but hooligan bullshit. Hotwiring cars, picking locks, neighborhood wars when kids overstepped their bounds. He stayed out of it mostly. He just liked the dare part of it all. Doing the impossible, jumping off fire escapes, train surfing, they gave him a rush where the normal mundane part of life never did. He didn't know how people worked nine to five jobs, living every day identical to the last and the upcoming ones. If he knew what he was doing tomorrow or the next week he'd go crazy.

His job for Sonny fit perfect with him. The adrenaline rush was a constant he waited for and didn't want to ever be without. The faces, the names, the mingling, Sonny could have that all to himself. Jason didn't want it. People never did or said much to garner any special reaction from him. So he didn't give one. He didn't know how to fake nice.

Maybe that made him some sort of robot, a term he heard himself called by a few people, specifically woman, but he couldn't be anything than who he was. He didn't change for anyone and if that made someone uncomfortable that was their problem not his.

His eyes hadn't left the window. It would be dawn in a couple of hours. Tomorrow was the day. Jason reached behind his back, the semiautomatic tucked in his jeans was cold against his skin. He brought the .45 up, eye level, and studied the hard cool edges completely unaware of how dualistic that gun was to its' owner. Cool hard edges all over. He inspected the clip, drew it back and sighed when it snapped into place.

It had only been two days but he itched for action. It was two days two long in one place. Tomorrow would be fun, he thought. His longer fingers closed over the handle then slipped back under his shirt, at the base of spine, undetectable. His was ready whether they were or not.

Her stomach was growling, so loud it sounded like a dying animal that should be put out of its' misery. The damn stairs creaked like elf predators were invading. Good thing she wasn't an overly rebellious teen, her house offered minimal sneaking potential.

Damn Sam and her cooking days. If Elizabeth wasn't so proud it would save them all a lot of grief and hunger pains to take Sam's cooking days herself, but she wouldn't give the lazy leech the satisfaction. It was bad enough that Tommy was fully her responsibility when Mom and Dad were out.

" Pumpkin?"

" Jeez." She almost jumped on the counter top. Her hand was frozen in midair. " Dad, oh my god. I thought you guys were still at the factory convention thing."

Her heart was pounding. She placed her palm over the spot where her heart was and pressed into it.

" It ended hours ago. Elizabeth, its three in the morning. What are you doing?"

She sighed and peeked around the still kitchen. Everything was so perfectly in place she could see the look on her mother's face if there was one crumb on the counter next morning. " I was hungry."

He immediately chuckled. No explanation was needed, it was completely understood what they were not saying. . Elizabeth laughed along with him, her heart suddenly sunken in, almost buoyant from the warming sensation. " I should probably just buy a cookbook and save us all a lot of trouble."

He laughed even harder this time, clinching his little pot belly for some sort of support. She liked seeing him like this…it felt like old times again; when things were just happy because they were, not because you had to do something to make it that way.

Abruptly his face changed. It grew ashen with worry and his eyes were plagued with some unknown trouble. Elizabeth's eyes squinted, her head tilt and a small drip of panic set in. Mostly because he never looked worried. The study as if it had plopped down from sky, caught her eye. The whole room glowed from his dinky desk lamp, She saw papers scattered, two different calculators with receipts long enough to hit the floor and wave around the desk like streamers.

Finding her voice, she attempted to ask as casually as possible her next question. She already had a precise rundown on answers he use to fill her in and calm her growing unease, but, for some reason she needed to hear those comforting words from his mouth.

" Dad, everything okay? You never work this late."

" Fine." He shook his head as he spoke. She gathered that was to emphasis the poor choice of words, seeing as _fine_ never reassured anyone. It was a short, ambiguous word that, if anything, should mean the exact opposite of its' definition. When anyone ever said they were fine, including her, it meant _' I am totally dying inside, please save me from this utter hell that my life has become_' and that is exactly what she heard when her father said it just now.

" Dad, whats going on? Is business bad or something? You forgot to add or subtract a number somewhere."

He crossed the room, sensing the small frenzy outlining her voice. He placed his hands on her shoulders. They were warm and protective, a complete tribute to his total exterior as a father. " Everything is fine. Better than fine. I just fell a little behind that's all. I want to make sure everything gets in on time so…this is part of the job." He tapped her chin with his fist. " You know that."

She heard herself saying okay, but it contradicted the alarm bells going off in her head. The small drops of perspiration over her father's brow, the sunken gray bags under his eyes, it spoke, screamed something horrible was happening.

" Hey, hey. Don't you go worrying about this. I have taken care of this family pretty well so far. Don't go thinking the worst like your mother."

That comment had her mouth moving to trip over her brain." I'm nothing like mother. Please."

" Go to bed," he tried to smile but it didn't reach his cumbersome eyes.

" You sure you don't need any help?"

He sighed, rubbing his forehead raw, pointed at the stairs then at her like she was eight again. " Up."

" Yes dad. Geez. You're not going to swat me with the wooden spoon are you." She rounded the small foyer, her toes slipping in between the stairs, desperate for words of encouragement. Her father must have thought she was already gone. His shoulders of their own accord shook heavily. Elizabeth didn't see any tears spill but she didn't have to, they were there. His eyes downcast, two small black clouds of hopelessness, closed and remained that way for the five minutes she stood, not able to stop herself.

She whispered, " If you need anything.." but the rest died in her throat. He couldn't hear her, she knew that but she said it anyway. For herself, for his problem, for the naïve hope that it would reassure him, comfort him in some small way.

Either of it didn't change the fact that something was definitely not right.


	4. Chapter 4

The Hiding Place-Part 4

_Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix. Christina Baldwin_

" What about this?"

The mental block with a side dish of frustration had Elizabeth in full ignoring mode. Looking straight, hers eyes were fixed on the black frock hanging in between her two fingers. Her mind balanced off the positives of the dismal outfit. Black looked good on everyone, nothing out of the ordinary would be popping or sticking out, and it was her size which was a miracle because every time she bought something it had to be taken in because of her unusually small waist.

" Hello?"

She chewed on the inside of her gum. " Im thinking."

" And not paying attention to anything Im saying." Coming to stand next to her Leslie Lu Spenser jammed the pink nightmare in Elizabeth's face.

" That's not a dress. It's a piece of stretchy leotard." Her face rolled with disgust and she batted it away. She gaped at the freckled face blonde with incredulous eyes and a curled lip. " You are sick to even think I would consider putting that on my body."

Leslie Lu faked the best intimidating look to her former babysitter. " Exactly. It's so you, its not you." Her hands came up like she just solved her first geometry word problem. " Get it?"

" No." Elizabeth spoke slowly. " And I don't think I want to." She moved past Leslie Lu, sidestepping the dress as if it would bite her and scowled at Leslie Lu for her ludicrous suggestion in apparel choices.

They had been shopping all day. For four hours and she hadn't found one solid shred of clothing that remotely caught her interest. They hit the mall, they hit the frilly dress shop on Venus Place. They tried the plaza where all the girls went for their party outfits. Elizabeth even stooped so low as to go to the slutty place Sam always got her best party gear from and nothing worked.

The clothes were too big, the colors were too bright, the shape didn't work, the cut wasn't flattering. There were a million different reasons and they all slammed back to the real, true reason why nothing met her expectations. Her. Nothing would ever be right.

This was so stupid. Her fingers rang around the plastic of the hanger, hellbent on breaking something in the next half hour if she didn't find something suitable. It was just a party she kept reminding herself. Half of the guys there would be drunk by the time she walked in…it really didn't matter and yet her body was stressing like an overzealous rhino.

" Elizabeth, Hold up. I have a great idea here."

Breath, Just breathe. That is what she told her brain, her body, every time she wanted to freak out and throw something. She glared at the clothes, cursing each one with the aggravation blooming through her. Sweat broke out on her brow.

This is why she didn't shop.

" Elizabeth."

She swallowed, swiped her brow with her sleeve and bit her lower lip hard before she turned to face her. Leslie Lu was sweet. A pain in the ass but a sweet girl nonetheless. Elizabeth had known her since she was five. She used to play with her when their families got together and even though they were only separated by three years Elizabeth felt a protective kinship between them. Elizabeth had always watched out for Leslie Lu, in school and when she sat for her. Leslie Lu had always had Elizabeth's back. Especially with Sam. Sam was the favored and Leslie Lu saw that and stood up for her, played with her, paid attention when no one else did.

Maybe she was too young now to be her best friend but there was definitely a connection there that Elizabeth hoped would never be broken even after she went away to college. Leslie Lu Spenser, as far as Elizabeth was concerned, was her little sister. She was sweet with just the right amount of feisty. She talked your head off but listened with open sincerity. She got excited over the stupidest things…she'd played with your hair until you screamed at her to stop touching you, and she never, ever knew when to stop once she got an idea in her head.

Elizabeth eyes fanned down. Lulu, as she liked to call her mostly out of sheer annoyance to her friend, was still holding the monstrous fabric the department store had the audacity to call a dress. " What."

" You're going to this party, right?"

Elizabeth leaned all her weight on her hip. Her features contorting with mixed emotions. " Right now…I don't know."

Lulu halted the big lump of sorrow in front of her from further disparaging words. " Listen. You will regret this if you don't go."

" No I wont."

" You will always wonder what could have been…"

" No."

"Who you could have met…"

" Lulu."

"What fascinating things took place that you missed all because of a little wardrobe trouble," Her bright smile beamed. She was definitely pleased with herself. " Now, doesn't that sound silly?" She patted her shoulder.

Elizabeth peered at her friends hand than at her." I'm the adult, remember?"

The response didn't faze her. She held up her answer, all bright in pink. " This dress is the un-you. It screams Sam, Courtney. Come on," she shook her shoulder a little.

Elizabeth placed her finger on her chin, catching on to the mischief in her friend's sophomoric eyes. " You want me to dress and be like them…you think that's going to make me have a good time? Lulu, please. I'd rather shave my head and go as Sinead O'Connor. Sam is…"

" Hot." Leslie Lu finished. " But she's hot because she makes herself so. If you dressed like her, if you teased your hair and wore clothes that brought out the spots on your liver, you would be hot to. You just chose not."

" I don't choose anything. It's not something I think about. It just is. I don't want to be like my sister or her friends. Maybe when I was little I started dressing opposite them because we didn't get along and I thought that if I didn't look like her I wouldn't be her. But the fact is I like who I am. I like the way I dress and how it makes me comfortable with who I am. It may not get me the attention it gets Sam, but that's okay. You know I was never comfortable with attention to begin with."

A part of Lulu had to nod in agreement. Elizabeth was right, on all accounts. She had more respect for Elizabeth than anyone else in this godforsaken town but she needed to get out. She was secluding herself from life, from everyone and thing in the world. How was she ever supposed to experience anything if she didn't realize she was hiding from it? " I get what your saying. I do," the emotion in her voice caught her off guard.

" and if Im wrong, Im sorry, but Elizabeth…you need to do this. For yourself."

" Why?" Her lower lip quivered. People hurried around them but she waited intently for her young friend to continue.

" Because you need to risk something. You wont ever know what life is like, the good or the bad without taking a risk."

Elizabeth turned her head to the side. " But what if something goes wrong…I'm such a cluts… I cant do anything right...Im not at all what guys look at in the first place…I"

" Hey, hey. Stop it. Do you hear yourself? You are beautiful. I cant believe you haven't caught on by now, Elizabeth. You are –"

" Stop," her voice tight and strained. She wiped Lulu's hands from her shoulder and finally made eye contact with her. " I know what I am and I know what guys see in me and whatever it is, its not something they want and Im fine with that because none of them have anything that worth's a seconds glance anyway."

" You know if that were true you wouldn't be so anxious about this."

She was right. If this wasn't such a big deal why was she having such a major meltdown. It was one stupid insignificant party that ended when she wanted it to. There was nothing that was going to happen that she couldn't handle. It was at house. It was in her neighborhood. It was workable. It was fine.

The prickles on her flesh withered a bit and her breathing leveled out. Act like this tonight and she might as well just stamp _Freak _on her forehead. Elizabeth was a master at controlling herself, her feelings, the storm inside her…if one little party had her jumping off bridges mentally, what was next? A breakdown at the supermarket because they didn't carry her flavor ice cream?

" You're right. I'm being an absolute idiot about this. I- its just a party. Ill be fine." Her voice sounded lighter although a bit on the skittish side. " The party will be great." She even managed a smile which made Lulu grin, taking her smile as genuine.

" Yep." Lulu was back to her excited voice. " This is going to be better than good. You are going to look super hot and when you get there. Oh my god, the fellas are not going to know what to do with themselves."

Elizabeth shook her head at Lulu's naïve but contagious attitude. " Let's not get carried away. If I make it through the night without strangling Sam, it'll be a success in my eyes."

" You're going to be great. This is going to be a night you'll never forget."

Elizabeth kissed the top of Lulu's head. " We'll see. Now let's get a shopping."

" Why? Hello? This dress says everything. You wont need to say anything…it just-"

" Lulu, I wouldn't wear that in the dark. By myself. Chuck it or Im buying it for you and you can wear it to your first party…"

" K."

Rolling her eyes, Elizabeth sighed mirthfully. " Kid, you have so much to learn." She trailed through the different circles of clothes, her eyes and brain never stopping their work and assessing. She really shouldn't talk. Elizabeth had a whole life's worth of learning to catch up on. According to everyone else even a sophomore like Lulu, she was falling way behind.

" Don't embarrass me…and don't talk to anyone unless they talk to you. Make eye contact but don't stare and dawdle, don't walk like a construction worker either. You have no femininity to your walk at all. I cant believe we are related. I cant believe we are actually going to the same party together…." Her breaths were working up to an asthmatic level.

Elizabeth contradicted every anxious bone rebelling inside her and leveled out and easy " Chill. Please. You're going to give me an aneurism."

Courtney expelled a drive of hot breath right into Elizabeth's right shoulder, breaking Elizabeth's blatant visual block to her presence. " Sam has every right to be concerned about tonight. You could ruin our reputation. Permanently."

" I thought that would have already been accomplished the first night your discovered what a body shot was."

" You little-" Courtney yanked Elizabeth's hair with unchecked force, sending Elizabeth back, her ankle almost twisting when she noticed how close the edge of the step was. " Remember where you are. This isn't the library or home. Here, we are in charge. So stay in your place. "

Elizabeth bent, rubbing the sore flesh, extending her leg and foot out from the bunching pain. She didn't spare Courtney a glance. " What's the difference then." She straightened, her hair falling back in place behind her shoulders. " You guys are always in charge." The door swung open just as Elizabeth whispered, " Don't worry I want embarrass you."

Her words died, the volume of the party overpowering the shaky volume of her response. Neither Sam or Courtney bothered to acknowledge her when some guy named Andy answered the door with a plastic cup full of beer in one hand and a blonde under his other arm. " Come in guys. We just started beer pong in the back."

They entered without turning to see if Elizabeth followed. Andy gave himself a vulgar appraisal of her body, seemingly unmindful of her growing blush. He must have been unimpressed because his visual voyage ended shortly. He stepped away from the door not waiting for Elizabeth to follow, but not closing the door in her face either.

Elizabeth placed her three inch open toed wedged sandals on the front doorstep and forced her equilibrium to steady. Her hands clammed up. She wiped them on her short baby blue sundress then pulled the right strap of the dress back up on her smooth vanilla shoulder. The heat outside made her want to run home and take another shower. The thought raced through her mind. She really just wanted to run home period.

The noise, overwhelming loud, the bass decadently alluring, the ambiance of dim light and beer-flavored air cast a dark seduction over every occupying space in the house. Elizabeth peeked to her left and right. People were swarmed in corners, hanging on banisters. Screams paraded through, mostly of laughter, a few drunken in rage at the early hour of ten o' clock.

Peanuts and chips decorated the floor. Elizabeth didn't dare look up past anyone's knees. She entered undisturbed, preferably invisible if anything could go her way right now. The lower back of her skull still pinched from Courtney's pull. Her eyes stung, rage momentarily, replacing her awkwardness.

Her step inside was quick like someone had pushed her from behind. Her hands, grasping for work, slid down the sides of her body, smoothing the undetectable wrinkles in the fragile sheer material.

She was going to kill Lulu.

Someone behind her belched. She reacted first, fleetingly estranged from thought, and turned around instead of taking the safe route and claiming ignorance. The man, guy whoever it was, smiled, his face pleasantly welcoming in his alcohol-induced haze. If that was his pick up line, Elizabeth could only guess the endless ways this conversation could actually sink lower.

His eyeballs were reminiscent of two spoiled eggs, crushed before purpose could be made from them. Different colors swirled around the honey brown of his eyes, the red squiggles looked like the red lines of a road map. He wouldn't be bad looking if he wasn't so dead drunk and obvious.

" Hey. I'm Dan." He extended his hand. Shockingly there wasn't a beer in his hand. " I was going to go to the store around the corner and get more beer. You wanna take a trip with me?"

She knew refusing right off would be insulting, although with the way his body continued to sway sideways she didn't think he would certainly catch it, but she didn't want to take that chance. Her naivety was about to come splurging out." Arent you drunk?"

" No." His hand came up to touch her, missing her shoulder at his first attempt. His hand rested there after the third pat and Elizabeth's eye darted between him and his hand, waiting for him to sense her sudden tension. " I aint drunk. Just buzzed, sweetie." He moved closer, brushing his fingers down her arm, " There is a difference."

Suddenly the tension gripped her all over. Her palm flattened on her stomach. She half-assed a smile, breaking his invading presence and stepped back. " I should find my friends…there in the back."

His brain obviously didn't grasp the concept of personal space, gaining a step for every withdrawal she took. " Sam and Courtney are busy. Why don't me and you get to know each other a little better."

Great.

Five minutes this time. Usually her going time period was ten to twenty before the biggest, horniest pervert zeroed in on her.

Elizabeth darted a faint glance to the door she had just used has her entrance. Home never sounded so good right now. This, this…right now, justified all her fears, all her prenotions. She had good reason to be neurotic as her mother always so delicately put things.

" Whaya say? The night is young…let's do something about it. Huh?"

" Checking in."

" Everything ready?"

" The guards are making rounds on the other side of the building. I'm going in five."

" Remember. I want everything destroyed. I want the hardware, software, all the files burned."

Jason's blue eyes glowed in the dark. " Done."

" Once you've done-"

" Gotta go. I'll check back with you."

Sonny's voice wavered. Jason couldn't decipher if it was in anticipation or anxiety. " When?"

" When I'm done." Jason's response was signature. Concrete without forethought. " Bye."

The line went dead. Jason slid the phone into his front pocket, his hand going back to graze the gun underneath his shirt. He did that before every initial move. It was a habitual act but it calmed him. The sensory lights clicked off just at the prompt time they should. Like a panther he crawled, kneeling ever so slightly forward, his brow alert to the unimaginable circumstances. Everything was mapped out in his head, every avenue and shadow of the building. He leaned his weight onto the garbage disposal closest to the door. His fingers grazing the lock pick in his back pocket. He fished it out, nipping the opening with his teeth and trapping the metal utensil with his lips as he placed the cover back in his pocket.

He counted to sixty, the lights flashed on again. That was the second consecutive round. Next round he would go, bypass the alarm and get to the south corner office. Jason knew he had a window of roughly twenty minutes before someone from the main security called in asking about the dead alarm, which gave him a solid fifteen minutes to do his job and not get pinched.

The guard's footsteps faded as they rounded the corner again and the light switched off just as his watch lit.

Go time.

The slam of the door shook the house. The walls vibrated and her mind caught up with her blinding fury. Fuck. She probably woke Tommy. She used the wall as support, kicking the ridiculous shoes off. The uncomfortable strap along with her angry stomps all the way home, a good two miles, made a stinging friction against her skin. She cupped the arch of her foot. Two dots mocked her from afar. What a great little souvenir from an unforgettable evening.

And she was actually stupid enough to try and find Sam and Courtney and tell them she was leaving. Elizabeth wasn't a slow learner. She was a hopeless idiot who had no chance of ever propelling herself forward if she didn't let go of the mundane frivolity of the past and present.

Her original acceptance to this uncharacteristic, spontaneous, UnElizabeth action was to shut her parents up. To not disappoint her dad and not have her mom using this missed opportunity as she would call it against her at every bend and turn in her life, but when she was shopping with Lulu something changed. Something cracked or leaked inside her and maybe it was still running through her; some kind of illusive hope that maybe this would change the incurable in her, hilt her perception like a cinematic moment in one of those 80s John Hughes teen flicks.

Elizabeth wanted to pound the dreamer out of her. That was the only thing wrong. She continued to want what didn't exist, which would never quench the thirst uncontainable in her bones.

The house was so dark and ghostly. She heard papers whoshing around. The light in the den was swallowed by the true darkness of the house. Her father was working late again. She wouldn't disturb him, especially this late at night. If the thud of the door didn't wreck his concentration he must be swamped and she wouldn't interfere no matter how shitty her night was.

She checked the clock at the top of the stairs. Ten past twelve. How did she even last that long at the party? All she cared to remember was a very frustrated PCU junior with hurt pride on his face to match his hurt kneecap.

Now that she thought about it, the sandals weren't a complete loss.

Elizabeth hesitated outside her bedroom door. The room was open and welcoming. Her bed unmade, the blankets were lopsided, the puffy waves of fabric inviting her in. She leaned in like they were calling to her, but she couldn't accept. She needed air, space, time to let her skin settle in and breathe.

Fresh air filled her nostrils, her senses relaxed. The afterthoughts of the party already bleeding out from her body. She hoped Dan had a permanent limp. Elizabeth smiled sleepily, brushing the cascading hair from around her face.

The sweet coolness from her window breezed around her. Elizabeth peered in, catching the bright end of the moon through the half slit window. The view would be spectacular in the attic. She breathed in another greedy gulp before twisting back to the stairs. Her body turned just as her mind paused in thought.

Elizabeth didn't remember ever opening the window. She didn't have time to. She was rushing around like a lunatic because her stupid shopping experiment went unexpectedly sour. She ran around, in the room, but she spent most of the one hour she had in the box of the bathroom she shared with Sam.

Her mother.

Elizabeth bounded on her tippy toes on the remainder of the creaky wooden steps. Her mother was always going in her room when she wasn't around which wasn't often but she took every free moment she could to 'inspect' Elizabeth's life.

The attic was painfully quiet compared to the ear-bleeding music of the party. Everything appeared dimensionally flat like a portrait. Bothered by the unfamiliar feeling, especially in her place, she was overcome with reluctance to enter as if she was disturbing something.

When she walked in the uncanny sense stayed with her. It didn't break like she thought it would. It clung to her body like a swarm of hungry mosquitoes.

The light from the moon spilled around her as she closed in on the window. Her breathing stabilized, tamely through its' trembles, yet the skin on the back of her knees started to dance nervously along with her spine. The sensations were traveling leisurely. Hypnotically.

She was tired. She had to remember tonight wasn't in the ordinary for her. Nothing about tonight was from the dress she was wearing to the jock who tried to fondle her in the middle of the living room in front of strangers. Her anger, her mortification, her bruised pride, it all came beating down on her at once.

Tonight was something that would never happen again. She could hastily make that covenant with herself and know she'd keep it.

Her finger skimmed the edge of the window. The wood wasn't sanded down, leaving Elizabeth, on more occasions than she could recall, with her fair share of splinters.

Something sticky stopped her finger's mindless trail tearing Elizabeth's gaze from the overpowering light in the sky to look down and discover a dark spot of liquid on the ledge.

She backed a smidge of an inch away, her eyes following the spot of liquid down the ledge and the ones that accompanied it on the painted wall below. Her mind deduced that it definitely wasn't paint. She hadn't painted today and what lay on her finger was warm and fresh.

She wasn't aware that her breathing was gathering in her throat as she tilted her one finger into the moonlight and gasped. It was red. Dark crimson red…like the color of blood.

She smeared the blood on her finger with her thumb, the tremble starting in that one finger and expanding all over. It didn't make sense. Her mind raced and her body slowed down at the same time. There had to be a logical explanation…but all her mind repeated in her head was run, Run, RUN!!

She wanted to turn desperately when the hairs on the back of her neck buzzed in attention. Everything went from slow motion in her brain to fast forward. She heard herself yell turn and just when her body went to react something black surrounded her.

Her mouth opened to cry out but the cry fell muted to the black blockade of a glove over her. Her mind screamed in her brain, her arms and legs paralyzed by the cement force fenced around her.

Whoever had her, secured themselves further by pushing her deeper into their body with their other arm locking around her torso. The intruder leaned in. The voice was male when he spoke, a deep husky timber, but all she could comprehend was leather creaking and the smell of his blood on her finger as he whispered against her ear, " Don't move."


	5. Chapter 5

Hiding Place-Part 5

_Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be fish Ovid_

" Don't move." His fierce whisper commanded against her throat.

Elizabeth, clinging to the hairline thread of sanity that shredded in her brain, didn't plan on disappointing him.

So close and out of breath, he kept repeating the same words. Don't move. His tone displayed a harsh control that not even a hearing impaired person could misread, but the more time passed the slushier his words came out along with heavier breaths.

They had been standing the same way for at least sixty seconds and the only thing that changed was the pressure of his body into hers. His mouth had first been close to her ear, the rest of his head absent from touching her body, but now his forehead was digging into the flesh just behind her ear. The bones of his skull were piercing and sharp.

It crossed Elizabeth's mind to try one of those ridiculous self defense moves on him, but judging from the weight of him he had more than a good ninety pounds on her. His grip had dimly loosened around her waist, but it wasn't significant enough that she could do any substantial wriggling.

Barely able to breathe herself, her eyes searched; her brain coming up barren. She knew this room like the back of her hand but the terror of the situation had wiped all possible weapons, escapes, or SOS calls from her.

He hadn't killed her yet. She had to take that as a good sign. If he was just some homicidal murderer she'd be lying in her own pool of blood by now. The only other options were burglar or possibly…rapist. Shuddering, she erased the word from her mind completely. He would have done that too already if sex was what he intended. She didn't think rapist stood around contemplating what to do when they were desperate.

Talking was the only solution to her way out. If she could distract him, get his mind on something else, freedom might be in her grasp. She gulped a couple of times. Fuck, fuck, fuck…what was she going to say? 'So, is there something you wanted?' DUH.

She twisted her head, hoping he interpreted her gesture as a sign that she wanted to communicate. After several wasted attempts, she used the only weapon that wasn't imprisoned, her teeth. She bit him, right through the leather. His hand instantly came up and then a second later the rest of her being was unbound as well.

She lunged for the door, her hand latching onto the cool doorknob right before she realized she didn't hear anyone chasing her. She turned despite every impulse inside her telling her to run blindly and not look back until she and anyone else in the house was a good fifty feet away.

But she didn't. She did the wrong thing which was unusual for her. She always played it safe and this was not an instance to be trying new things.

As she turned she pictured his gun or whatever weapon he had to be drawn along with a sadistic grin, stamping her fate before she met the afterlife. Instead the man was leaning against one of her paintings. The moonlight bounced off his profile making the skin appear gray and red from enervation. There was a vein on the side of his neck, protruding. From the contortion of his face, the sweat dripping off his nose, he was in great deal of pain.

Her eyes traveled cautiously lower, her hand glued to the door just in case this whole thing was some sort of act to lure her back. He was clutching his right side, his right elbow locked to the side of his stomach like he was a disfigured piece of clay.

The blood. It was his.

Elizabeth shook her head slowly, her view of his pain detached and somewhat confused. She had to call 911. She couldn't help this man and she, personally, didn't want to ever lay eyes on him.

Her mind was made up and set. The floor creaked, her body jolting a little to obey the miniscule amount of rational in her. The creak went off like gunfire in the silent room that for a few deathly minutes had only consisted of both their breaths inhaling and exhaling.

" Don't…"

She started to open the door as he forced himself to straighten to his full height. Elizabeth's kneecaps threatened to crack, estimating his size at least six two.

She pointed her finger at him when she realized he was trying to take a step toward her.

" You stay right there."

He wasn't listening to her, wasn't looking at her or anything. The slump of his posture tilted forward, messaging to Elizabeth that this stranger's fight was lost.

" Just stay there. The police will deal with you."

" Don't…no cops." His hoarse voice croaked out before he coughed into his gloved hand. " Just ..let me ..."

" I-I think you should just stay still…whatever happened to you…I'm sure moving around wont make it any better." She hated the accent of fright that tinged her voice. She couldn't control herself and he just kept right on walking to her.

" Mister..if you don't stop moving, I'm going to scream."

The man's head came up and he looked right through her; his blue eyes pained and ghostly. Recognition ricocheted around in her brain. The guy from the supermarket. The one with the devil's eyes.

" You…" Her hand pointed wobbling accusingly.

And then he collapsed. The thud sent the dust on the floor flying everywhere, floating about the room like tiny fairies who had been hiding in all the creaks and crevasses of the old wood floor. One of her easels crashed to the floor as well and Elizabeth whipped her head around to hear for a residual reaction.

She didn't bother to formulate one coherent thought. Now she was sure she would come up blank anyway. She tentatively approached, counting the steps along the way, frantic for a distraction of any making.

She couldn't hear his pants anymore. Was he dead? She really wasn't going to be able to tell without touching him.

Damn it.

Working completely against her nature, like she had been for the last ten minutes, Elizabeth kneeled next to him, short on thought, full on action. Her left hand supported her weight, the other one leaning in to graze his forehead. He was hot and clammy, his forehead leaving of sheen of sweat on her palm. She wiped it on her dress and saw that his other hand was clutched to the wound. Her hand hovered over his then relaxed. Her nails slid over the skin of his knuckles and she instantly regretted touching him. A strange jolt went through her. Ignoring the physical warning it echoed, she struggled to remove the death grip he had over his side. The wound didn't seem to be bleeding anymore, but she couldn't tell how much blood he lost to begin with.

The bullet wound was right under his right breast, slightly dipping to the side. Elizabeth wasn't one to estimate but she could fairly assume by the hold he had on himself that a shattered a rib or two was the least amount of damage done. There was no telling what other internal injuries lay behind the blood but the more time passed, the lesser his chances were.

She had to call before it was too late. Before she was reporting a dead intruder instead of a live one.

" Please.." His fingers circled her forearm, ripping Elizabeth from concentration. The pressure jerked her off balance, sending her hovering over him. " I'll…leave…just, don't say anything. I can't-"

He winced. She guessed it was from a spasm of pain because he didn't breath, just went stiff and rigid. His eyes looked like they were about to pop through his closed lids and his teeth grounded together. The compulsion to say something comforting surged up inside her but Elizabeth fought it all the way. She had never seen a person experience so much pain in front of her and it was human empathy that always reared its' ugly head at moments like this.

Her mouth opened just as his body relaxed noticeably. The solidity of his fingertips around her arm lessened a bit, but they remained encased around her.

" Please," he choked out, " no cops."

" I-I …you need a doctor." The gentleness of her voice caught her off guard. She sounded like she did when she was trying to soothe Tommy. Elizabeth immediately withdrew her arm and he didn't move to stop her. " You broke into my house. So the cops-"

" The window was open."

" Are you-" She searched his face and he actually had a small smile playing there. She ignored the toying edge of his voice, not trusting him or herself to discern his motives. " You shouldn't move. Once I call, they should get you to the hospital pretty fast."

" I cant…I cant go to the hospital."

" Why not?"

" Because," he breathed out exhausted, " I cant."

" Listen. I cant just leave you here…I need to let…"

His breaths were coming harder the more he talked. " I can't go. Pretend you never saw me."

" Pretend?" Elizabeth queried.

His eyes turned serious and he raised them to her. " I didn't take anything. I …no one can know I am here. I need to go."

" The hospital-"

" No," he spoke fiercely, almost spitting the words out. His profile sharpened, bringing to forefront of Elizabeth's brain why this man was here in the first place. She retracted just a step and he eyed her up and down, gulping as a drip of sweat fell over his lips.

He turned to face the ceiling. " I wont hurt you."

" Elizabeth?"

Her father. She flew to the door, patting her hair, brushing the anxiety down with each stroke of her palms against the sides of her dress. She didn't wait or attempt to create a diversion of any sort. Any another night, her being up here would be normal, although her wardrobe choice would have been slightly more casual.

" Yeah?"

He was at the bottom of the stairs. His voice was almost a whisper but she could sense the underlining worry because it mirrored her own. " Is everything okay? I heard something bang up there."

" I..uh…"

" Elizabeth? I told you not to go up there at night. Your mom and I have all our junk stored up there. You could really hurt yourself."

" Dad, I…I didn't fall. You see-" Elizabeth twisted, gazing at the stranger laying in her attic. Her place. The truth was so close to release. She wavered in her indecision, clueless as to why she was to reluctant to expose this intruder, this miscreant, for who he was. But her hesitation was stronger than her hate and before the words to argue could penetrate her thick skull Elizabeth heard herself saying the exact opposite of her intentions.

" I… the easel just fell. I was trying to paint."

" In the dark, Elizabeth…"

" No. Im fine. I was just antsy and couldn't sleep. Dad, go back to bed. I'm fine." She squeaked, outraged at her growing impetuousness. " I didn't mean to startle you."

" You didn't." The landing groaned under him and Elizabeth guessed she was in the clear for now. The thought didn't relieve her one bit. She heard her father clear his throat before he continued. " I've gotta go to the office. I won't be back, probably till tomorrow sometime."

" Is everything okay?"

" Yeah, pumpkin. Everything's okay. There's just a couple of glitches in the monthly numbers…that's all. I already told your mother."

Elizabeth came down the stairs, for some odd reason, she was compelled to see him. He sounded defeated and her father was never the type to let his emotions show themselves easily. He was leaning against the wall behind him, his body stagnant.

" Dad-"

" Take care of your mother,' he kissed her forehead softly, his voice stern like when he used to tell her to clean her room, which was usually every other day.

" You'll be back tomorrow, right?" Elizabeth peered up at her father's handsome face that was uncharacteristically etched in uncertainty. " Dad?"

" You look pretty tonight pumpkin."

Her eyes hunted his face for an explanation of the oddness that surrounded her very normal, almost boring father. He was so average, easy to miss, kind of like her.

" What is going on?"

" I love you okay? I'll see tomorrow." He kissed her forehead a second time, more quickly than the last and didn't wait for her to respond. He grabbed his briefcase that laid on wall and shut the door behind him without looking back.

Elizabeth stood there, wondering more than things than her brain could handle. " I love you too."

She banked, more anticipated, on the stranger not to be there when she took the last step into the attic. The last couple of minutes of her life played through her like a distorted dream; flashing and twisting through her like small spasms.

This wasn't the time to be doing this, Elizabeth instantly rejected. The crying and whatever else came along with being scared out of your mind would have to come later.

She had never been so afraid in her life. Elizabeth didn't know exactly what to be afraid of her first, the man or his obvious devious intentions on her and her family. No matter what he said she certainly couldn't trust any vow that came flowing from his lips with well-played sincerity. Elizabeth trusted her instincts but to know a lie from the truth through these circumstances made that almost impossible. She didn't believe him when he said he wouldn't hurt her or at least she didn't want to because if she was wrong, it could cost her her life.

There was still no choice in the matter. She had to call the police, someone.

He was precisely in the same place and position he was when she left. He was still. Deathly so.

If he was dead, she might as well be dead too. Deep shit didn't begin to define the trouble she would be facing.

Her two fingers pressed hard into the side of his throat, demanding there be a pulse there. After several seconds of empty searching a faint thump vibrated against her fingertips. It was soft, barely existent, Elizabeth wasn't sure if it was actually just her imagination.

Holding her own breath, she leaned against his chest, giving one glance to his face, sure he was unconscious from how relaxed and peaceful his features stayed. The strum of his heart beat greeted her, but it was slow and waning. A tear pricked her eyes. What was she to do now?

His shirt stirred under her ear.

" I'm okay." The whisper broke the surrounding silence.

Elizabeth backed away from him instantly. Nearing the door, she supported herself against the wall, completely stooped that her judgement of him was so off. " You need a doctor."

" The bullet just went in and out ..I'm fine. I'm not bleeding anymore."

" You could have internal injuries. I cant just let you .."

" Help me up."

Elizabeth nodded her head then saw he wasn't paying attention to anything but his wounded side. His face was twisted sideways, facing the direction of the injured area.

" No. I…I'm calling the cops."

She stood, determined and a bit angry, mostly directed at herself, but he didn't need to know that.

" No," he said, clutching his side with his opposite hand and forced himself to sit up. " No. I'll just leave. Pretend you never saw me."

His face exploded in pain and Elizabeth did nothing to help him. She was numb in action and decision. The man struggled, clinging to everything around him from the junk on the floor to the old beam that held the place up. He wasn't going to make it no matter how strong he appeared and from what Elizabeth could vaguely decipher he was stronger than most.

He was finally erect, if bent over and shaking in pain could pass without suspicion in this nosy town as normal. For a man near death, he fought for a good impression of being alive.

" You never saw me," His words severe but softly spoken.

He was coming closer and Elizabeth found herself leaning into the wall, further and further. There was no give. She was stuck. The decision to be made was whether she let him leave and call the cops or force him to stay and call.

" I-..this…you need to be still. This isn't good for your wound…"

" I'm used to it," his gruff answer flowed over her attempt to stall. " I wont bother you again if you do as I say."

" I can't do that."

She heard herself say the words, but hoped against hoped it was the voice in her brain talking loud, talking really loud. Of course, she was wrong. As always. The words couldn't have shocked or answered her question more outstandingly when she took in his volatile reaction.

Reaching his full height, his shoulders straightened. Everything else went cold around him, around her, like a sudden chill had swept through the entire room. Crowded in an already small room, Elizabeth switched her weight from foot to foot, alert to the apparent fear written all over her face.

She made herself look at him, her eyes crawled up the long stature of his body. The wound a mere shadow, a distraction, compared to the muscles and definition lined everywhere. Her response included a gulp and a swallow that followed down her stomach and landed somewhere along her legs.

She took in his displeased pout, angled nose and sharp, almost animalistic cheek bones. His stare preyed on her, wolf-like blue eyes, instinctually inspecting and tearing her down with arctic detachment.

His wound, his pain, where was it all now? Maybe it was just an act to get her back in here because she was the only witness? Damn, son of a bitch, she was such a fucking idiot. Elizabeth Webber, having at least two opportunities to escape from this murdering pig was going to die, not because she had to, but because she was a total and complete moron.

If she did survive she hoped her ability to speak would be lost because telling reporters or whoever asked that the reason she didn't run like the dickens when she had the chance was because she was overcome with naïve compassion for this academy award winning criminal who had punctured her nurturing side.

Mustering up whatever internal strength she had, Elizabeth rejected the idea of her death. She didn't come all this way, graduate, suffer through living in a hick town in the middle of nowhere, suffer through Sam and all her glory, just to die when her life was about to get started.

Ignoring the fear and him which was hard, she ventured past the inevitable and sought for something farther, unreachable, freedom.

He was a foot away and not giving an inch as he visually dissected her. The door was closed. There were no possible weapons near her or big enough to use against him. Her options were thin, falling through her fingertips like melted snow.

" You wanna say that again."

The lethal deadness of his voice shattered whatever she was attempting to put together. Lethal and low and so damn calm it sent every nerve floating inside her up in a frenzy.

She couldn't take it back and she wouldn't. If she tried to be nice he would see through it and if she acted on her worry, begging forgiveness, appeasing his wishes, the man would probably shoot her for thinking he was that stupid.

" I said I cant let you do that." Her chin rose, clashing with the terror through her whole body. " I…I'm not letting you out of here."

Jason didn't move. In fact the only thing that gave testament to him hearing her was his next words which he didn't even bother to open his mouth for. " Is that so?" his brow arched slightly, grimly.

" Yes." Elizabeth reached for something more, not wanting to anger him further, but ruffled herself by the smug way he controlled the situation." You broke into my house. You practically assaulted me. I don't know what your intentions were, but it's obvious from your injuries you were up to no good. I'm sorry, but I cant let you just walk away."

She guessed by the strict way he moved forward without pondering her words that his goal was set and ready. He was probably some sick freak who got off scaring young woman, playing sick mind games of cat and mouse, all the while he was the one holding the strings the whole time.

His body inched nearer, never taking his eyes from hers. She didn't try and hide the terror welling up and spilling out. The engine in her brain was dead and her only solutions at the moment involved kicking his shin and spitting in his face.

His breath streamed out in sluggish rivers of air against her forehead. If she moved she'd be touching him, if she breathed she'd be touching him, If she spoke she'd be letting him get to her. Whoever this man was he may a criminal but he knew how to read people. He was pushing all her right buttons, squeezing them to the brink. Just when she thought he'd relent, he pushed harder, saw deeper threw her.

" You should think before you speak. That mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble."

She felt his words, his warning, against her skin, begging her imagination for some small ray of distraction, escape. " If you're going to kill me just do it and get it over with."

Those were the first words that brought a subtle but poignant response to the forefront of his guarded features. His eyes sparked than faded. His body seemed to waver the longer he played his intimidating card, looming over her like a bear over a wiggling fish. She didn't know why what she said changed the way he looked at her, she only knew it did. She wasn't gripping the front of her dress, her lungs didn't ache for air.

The stranger licked his lips, scanned her eyes, than looked away, almost bored with what he was about to say. " I'm not going to kill you," he finally let out, in a tone that told her she should already know that. " You don't have to be afraid."

Elizabeth huffed out all the air from her nostrils. " I'll be the judge of that."

His head came around towards hers again, after quickly sweeping the room. " You wanna call the cops go ahead. I'm not waiting around for them." He tossed her figure a cold glare, " And don't think you're going to try and stop me."

He stepped away and glanced at the door, checked his wound. There was fresh blood on his hand when he pulled it away from his side. He swallowed a gulp of air, fishing for strength where there was none. This man must think he is Superman, Elizabeth bemused.

The fresh blood looked black in the room, small shadows of white catching the surface at the right angle of moonlight. " You're going to die," she stated plainly. His hand wobbled when he checked his side again. " You're not going to make it very far with a wound like that. You know it."

" Give me a twenty minute start before you call." He heaved out, making his way to the door, his boots sliding hard against the floor. He paused at the door, parallel from her, and asked again, " Twenty minutes?"

" I'm not promising you anything." Elizabeth let the tear fall from her eye, not understanding why it was there to begin with. " Just get out," she choked, her voice weary.

He shook his head, a glimpse of remorse playing in his stare for only a second before it changed to black and blank again. The old doorknob turned quick in his fast grip but the man never opened it. His knees gave out like someone had kicked him in the back of his legs with a two by four. His forehead smacked into the door as his body jerked in pain and then he was down.

Elizabeth caught him just as he fell, her body leaning on the door for her own support. Somehow his head found it's way into her lap and when Elizabeth wondered why he didn't struggle to remove himself she peeked over the crown of his head to see he was unconscious…again. She nudged his shoulder, pressed her cool fingertips into his cheeks, but she got nothing.

She searched the room for answers, looked back down at the man in her lap, then at the tiny window that appeared so far away at this very moment. A place that had been her refuge now had morphed into her prison. Elizabeth sighed, glancing at the ceiling, praying for a bolt of lightning, a divine intervention to come and rescue her.

The choices were there, but which one did she make. Help this man who broke into her home or leave him to die and call the police? This was not the way she wanted to remember her last summer at home.


	6. Chapter 6

The Hiding Place-Part 6

_All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire. Aristotle_

"Someone's on to us."

"Is everything destroyed?"

Mr. Webber shuffled the mess of shredded papers together at his desk. His office looked like it had been turned upside down. Pieces of paper were thrown everywhere. All his equipment had been smashed including his favorite stapler. So far, from what he could tell, there wasn't one piece of equipment in his office that hadn't been destroyed in some way.

His books, the numbers inside them, were gone. His backup disks were broken in half; all the files on his hard drive were deleted. This wasn't some random crime, this break screamed premeditated and Mr. Webber shook like a leaf, knowing full well what that purpose was.

Everything had been erased as if it had never existed. It was clear message that in no way could be misinterpreted- Sonny Corinthos was on to him. He knew. He knew everything.

His hand stilled on his perspiring forehead, the shake in his fingers increasing with every hard truth being thrown at him as he eyed what used to be his office. His office, his domain, had been violated, but the mission didn't end there. He was next. He and his family weren't safe. Whoever did this was headed straight to him.

" We gotta get the girls out of here." He walked around his desk, slipping on the array of papers that scattered the floor. "Mr. Corinthos knows what we did. We have to get home, grab whatever we can and run. Now."

"No."

"Are you crazy?"

"There could be a multitude of explanations for this-"

"Carolyn Webber, do not play god with me on this. This is a clear sign that-"

"Someone broke into your office. That's all." Her expression was the perfect summation of collected calmness and not a hair, not a stitch of clothing, dared to the break that illusion. She brushed the lint off her husband's suit jacket, grabbing onto the front lapels to make him look at her.

"We don't know anything and if we run we look guilty."

"We are guilty Carolyn. I told you from the beginning we should have just kept it at one take. One small steal so no one would get suspicious. I could cover my ass better because everything was paper work and easier to erase…I told you not to get greedy…"

"Told me?" She huffed out, righteously displeased with him. "What were we supposed to do? We were barely making ends meet. Sonny Corinthos was a clever businessman who was making millions, living it up and you, his trusted upstate accountant, was scrimping and saving just to pay the mortgage. Do you remember the faculty meetings?"

"Carolyn, that has nothing to do with what is going on now. I know Mr. Corinthos had a tight fist, but he was a good man."

"A good man you never saw," she spit out, her reserve cracking through the undiluted anger. She whirled around the desk to look him in the eye. "All his employees, all they did was brag and go on and on about the cash flow coming in while us and our family were hardly surviving." She looked at him, determined as always to make him see her point. "He owed us. That's what you said when you stole the first time. I agreed and I still do. We needed that money and that's all there was to it."

"What about now?" Bruce Webber's hands came up from his sides. His glasses at the tip of his nose, his hair as disshelved as his mind, sporting a suit wrinkled from his attempt to clean the irreversible mess his office now was. "We don't need the money anymore. So why the hell are we still taking it?"

Mrs. Webber seemed to contemplate his question with a cool calculating look. She glanced down at her manicured nails than pressed the flat palms of her fingers onto her hips before she folded her fingers in front of her. "Tuition doesn't pay on its own my dear. Just because we are comfortable does not mean we are ready to go back to the way we were. If anything our expenses are higher and Mr. Corinthos hasn't given you a decent raise in over fifteen years. You do the math."

Her answer, as methodical and assured as it was delivered, did not alleviate any of the warning tremors that coursed through his body. He was a dead man and after all these years of working side by side with mob associates, his wife was still in full denial. He hung his head, covering his face with his hands. "We should have thought about the girls and Tommy first."

"Excuse me," she snapped, marching over to him like a teacher would an obnoxious student. "Who the hell were we doing this for if not our children? Do I have to remind you of what it was like living in that one bedroom apartment? The neighborhood was bad; the girls would have had to work before it was even legal for them…all because your stingy, tight-fisted boss wouldn't help you out. Everything we did," she poked him in the chest, "Every lie, every time we took money from these accounts, it was for them…for all of us. We wouldn't have survived otherwise."

"So this is better?" His temper finally flared, not being able to swallow one more second of his wife's self righteousness. "Now we are caught and our lives could be over and all you can do is stand there and declare how right you are? Lot of good that is going to do when Sonny Corinthos sends one of his hitman to finish us off."

Carolyn Webber rolled her eyes as if placating an anxious child. "He is not going to kill us. Mr. Corinthos is not going to risk unwanted media attention or scandal because some two-bit accountaint stole some money from him. It's not like you were his only attorney. The man is a mobster for god's sake. He makes his money from stealing from others. Look how long it took him to even realize what we've done…he'll fire you, maybe send us away, but kill? That would be an unhealthy move on anyone's part."

"You don't get it. You don't know these men; you haven't worked with them day in and day out like I have. In this business getting fired, terminated, is death. I knew secrets, codes that only Sonny and his people knew. When you violate that, it makes Sonny and his men vulnerable which means they could be set up to be taken over. Killing me is the only way to make things right again. I violated their trust and without trust, I am no good to Sonny or his people anymore."

"You run and you already make yourself guilty. This could be one of Sonny's enemies for all we know. There could be a million different reasons for this. Maybe Sonny himself is using this to test you…to see if you are the rat going behind his back and stealing money from his operation right from underneath him. If you run you are marking us all, me, you and our kids before we know what the situation is yet."

Mr. Webber shook his head no. Breathing in and out with such harshness, Mrs. Webber took an uncharacteristic step forward, placing her hand on his shoulder in a small gest of compassion. "We stay and see what happens."

"I'm telling you he knows. I think we should leave and never look back. We need to get new names, start all over again-"

"Start all over again," she whispered furiously. "Are you crazy? This is our life, our home. I am forty-eight years old. I am not going to pack up and leave just because you are having a panic attack about something that _might_ be."

Mr. Webber batted her hand away instantly standing straight. "And what if you're wrong? Huh? This isn't the time to be worried about your damn pride Carolyn. Playing god with our children's lives isn't something I am going to continue doing now that it is evident we are about to get caught. We have been doing it for too long already."

"We'll pack, okay? We'll pack and be ready to leave, but we can't just up and run tonight…call people. See what's going on before you make a permanent decision that we can't come back from."

"I hate this," he looked down at the remains on his desk, plopping his glasses on the surface. He massaged his tired eyes than the bridge of his nose. "Should I call the police?"

"You have too." She pointed out, her voice back to being casual and crisp. "It would look suspicious if you didn't."

He nodded in agreement. "I'll make the call. You call the girls; let them know we are going to be here till morning at least. I don't want them to get worried when this leaks out and it's going to fast."

"I will. Just calm down alright. You need to be levelheaded when the cops get here."

"My office was just ran shacked. I think it's okay if I'm a little frazzled."

She pouted her lips, licking the last of her lipstick away as she watched her husband's atypical meltdown. "I'll call them."

He moved his sliding glasses back up his nose. He gulped, trying to fix his tie with his fumbling hands. "What are you going to tell the girls?"

"Nothing." Carolyn didn't turn around. " Just that things got backed up here and you needed my help. It's not like it's out of the ordinary."

"Carolyn," he swung the door back all the way to get a good look at her profile, hoping she wasn't being serious. " You're not going to tell them? They are going to find out eventually. This town isn't exactly big."

" We don't need to worry them either. I'll tell them what they need to know and if it gets out that there was a burglary of sorts we'll just explain that we didn't want to worry them. They'll understand."

" I don't agree…."

" Call Benny, Bruce. Stop your twittering please. Benny will know what to do. He is, after all, Sonny's personal accountant. Call him if he tells you to call the police, call them. If not, then don't. Either way it's going to look suspicious if you don't inform them immediately."

" Not if it they are the ones that arranged it."

" Bruce," her tone a sharp warning.

He sighed hard from his nose, picking up the receiver several times before punching the numbers." I'll make the call."

Hesitation had its' price and all hundred and ninety pounds of it was laying on her dirty futon in the attic. He had stayed unconscious and Elizabeth reasoned with her fumbling sanity that as long as he wasn't conscious yet she didn't have to make a decision about anything.

It was a scary stalling tactic but Elizabeth refused to believe that any of this was really happening to her. She never ventured anywhere that would allow a morsel of danger to come her way. Her idea of danger involved flammable paints and a blow torch that went awry…but that was high school chemistry and Elizabeth learned her lesson severely that multitasking two different projects like art and science wasn't suited for her clumsy nature.

" Elizabeth, are you listening to one word I have been saying?"

" Yes," she jumped, clutching the phone closer to her mouth. " I'm sorry. I just...I'm still groggy, you woke me up." She couldn't stop herself from turning around, peeking over her shoulder like a mental patient off its' meds. What she was really terrified of was upstairs, in her hiding place, probably on death's door.

" Your father and I are going to be here till morning. This place is a mess."

" So, what happened exactly? I mean, what's wrong with the numbers?" Elizabeth tried desperately to sound interested but knew her lame attempts were failing miserably. Even to her own ears she sounded rushed and worried. Of course her mother probably noticed and refused to acknowledge because she had stamped Elizabeth 'moody' years ago. Her mother only confronted what she wanted to when she wanted to and this was the first time in Elizabeth's short life that she was glad her mother was sticking to her normal behavior.

" Dad's partner made a mess of the books and your father has to fix them. I'm helping but its going to take all night." Her voice sounded as concise as it always did. Carolyn Webber had the perfect telephone voice. Elizabeth could picture her being one of those annoying telemarketers who called your house when you least expected and needed it.

" Is Dad okay? He seemed kind of weird when he left earlier. His studies a mess. There are papers everywhere."

" He's fine. Just overwhelmed." The soothing in her tone somehow translated into Elizabeth's ear as cold and convincing.

" I'll clean it up before he gets home then…"

" No!" Her answer cut through so quickly Elizabeth jumped on the other end. Her mother sounded panicked but it only lasted a second before it was under control and rock hard with steadiness. " Don't. You're father had things that way for a reason. If you clean it up he wont know where anything is."

She could sense her mother playing with the silk ends of her neatly cut do. Three in the morning and if Elizabeth was a betting woman she would drop her college savings on the physical conditions of her mother's untainted being . Hundred to one her pants suit was unwrinkled and her hairspray was still holding strong. " Okay," Elizabeth yawned.

" Well, we'll see you in the morning. Have you checked on Tommy?"

" He stirred a little so I checked his diaper and it was wet, but he was so dead asleep he didn't even wake when I changed him."

" Good." Her mother let her tiredness slip into her words which meant she must really be exhausted because she never let her kids ever see such a weakness. " Oh, before I forget, how was the party? Did you and Sam have a good time?"

" No."

Her exhale of breath was drowned in disappointment." Elizabeth."

" Mom, please. I don't feel like regurgitating tonight's horrific events. Please, I'm tired and I want sleep."

" This conversation is not over."

Elizabeth clenched her jaw then rolled it to the side. " Whatever. Goodnight."

" No sleeping in. I am not going to be there to feed Tommy. He likes his breakfast-"

" At seven. He likes mashed corn in the morning with watered down milk and then he likes to play in his playpen for about an hour before he gets tired again and naps. Although sometimes he needs to be changed because the mashed corn seems to go through him quicker then the others…"

" Elizabeth, you're rambling. Just take care of him…I don't know when me and you're father will be home exactly," she made a sound and then stopped and spoke again, lower this time like she was telling her secret, " Listen if anyone calls the house looking for your father, don't tell them anything. Ask who they are and if they want to leave a message, but don't tell them where your father is. It's just…business is bad and your father might get in trouble because of this botch up."

She was lying. Elizabeth knew it. Not because she was good at reading people but because her mother just sounded wrong somehow. Usually her words flowed out rehearsed and well-intentioned like some cheesy infomercial, but she was rambling kind of like she would and her mother never rambled or stumbled over her words.

" Mom? What is goi-"

" Don't ask questions. Just do as I say and make sure you tell Sam everything."

" Yeah."

" Elizabeth?"

" Yes, mother," Elizabeth chose not to screen her annoyance. Sometimes her mother's lack of faith in her just punctured a part of her that Elizabeth assumed was already dead. She was always wrong though because moments like this, when her mother treated her like a juvenile delinquent with a mile long record, the hurt resurrected and it stung. It always stung someplace new and raw.

" Goodnight dear."

" Night." She slammed the phone, frustrated that she let her mom get to her at all.

Elizabeth was still wearing her dress. It was comfortable at nine o'clock , that was one of it's greatest appeals. Now, three in the morning, it itched like hell and closed around her so tight, she felt like a mummy in spandex wrapping.

Habitually she forced herself to walk past Tommy's room. It would be the fourth time in an hour that she had checked him. He was sound asleep and perfectly safe, but seeing it made it more real. Nothing seemed safe right now. Not her house, her mind, the attic…it all had morphed into a bizarro version of some dark Hitchcock setting.

Dark, dreary, and dank like inside her. Her home itself never rang hollow. Those feelings were hidden and reserved for special places inside her where no one dared to look, that she only let out when no one was watching. It wasn't something she wanted to become immune to on permanent basis. Her heart wasn't that strong.

She halted at the landing, staring at the picture on the wall at the top of the stairs. It appeared normal and unscathed to the situation impounding through her. It was the same picture that had been there since they lived in their house, but now, staring at it, willing it to remind Elizabeth of yesterday and normalcy, the picture couldn't have been more foreign to Elizabeth's eyes.

She had to go up there. No amount of stalling would change the fact that his presence along the last hour or so had somehow collided with hers. His heath, his death was in her hands being hurdled at her from several scattered directions.

She wiped her hair back from her face and cursed her indecisiveness.

The desperate need to wake up clawed at him. The sinking sensation never leaving his side The clinging followed him wherever he went which was uncontrolled too. He ended up in places familiar but strange. Everything, everyone materialized from nowhere, drifting up from out of the sidewalk like a mirage of sorts. The sun shined brighter every place he came to next. Unusually so and he squinted with an everlasting ache behind his tired eyes. He didn't know what he was looking for but it was close, reachable like the faint tremors of consciousness were brushing up against him, but every time he turned he was somewhere new and more confused.

No one spoke where he was. Everyone moved along, ignoring him and his odd anxiousness. He didn't like being anxious, it didn't suit him and his calm reserve. Everything had a solution in his line of work. There was nothing out there he couldn't figure out with the right maneuver and plan, but the places and the people hear didn't make sense, didn't fit into any category. Sounds were muted like God had turned the mute button on for kicks.

He ran and ran, never tiring. He didn't sweat, didn't grow hungry. Determination pushed every desire away but home. Something faint caught his attention, the wisp of soothing. The familiar brush glided across his skin making him dizzy and the remote armor cracked a bit. He wanted to sleep but somehow knew if he did he never would wake. Another slush of awareness coursed through him again, this time sinking into his blood, running along the planes of his interior. He gulped, feeling so close to something and not knowing what to do about. He was powerless and he hated the shackles it imprisoned him in.

He fought the urge to scream, to run more. He wanted the brush of that feeling back but it kept slipping off like shaky radio frequency. He stood and just waited. Now, he was in a desert, alone on a surface so flat and lifeless, his existence was the only thing penetrating through the one dimensional façade.

It was barren and desolate of all signs of life. To Jason it felt like his own personal hell.

His fever was climbing. Last hour it was at one o two, now it was teetering on the brink of one o four. His skin was soaked in sweat, it burned at the touch. His side hadn't bled since he last collapsed but that wasn't the danger anymore. If he had infection, if this fever was the first stages leading to pneumonia her limited bedside care wouldn't help only delay his death by maybe a couple of hours, days if he was stronger than most.

The residual water splattered in the basin when she rang the damp cool cloth over it. She touched as lightly as her shaky hands could control. All she did was shake lately. In the past twenty four hours her heart was in a perpetual state of hysteria. Her chest continued to sink tightly like it was trying to make its' way into her back.

She was so scared. She wasn't good in these situations. Her mother, Sam, were great in a crisis mainly because they didn't have heart enough to care. They performed every civil service, every do-gooder act, every straining task with such perfect fluidness. Nothing about them ever broke stride. At least not to the outside spectator.

The man moaned underneath her. She moved the blanket to bring it closer over his, but it continued to fall off due to the abnormal breath of the man's shoulders. He was so restless, mumbling incoherencies, but Elizabeth was beyond occupied with keeping him alive to fully devote any amount of energy toward his feverish rumbles.

His eyes drifted open. She paused casting him a weary but slightly hopeful glance. She saw the blueness clear and it shut everything else out. The white around his pupils, the stirring emotion of reality around her disappeared when his eyes landed starkly on hers.

Elizabeth froze in place. _They are so blue _she heard herself say and instantly became conscious again.

Her strokes smoothed down his bare arm as she shifted it from beneath the heavy comforter. He moaned, licking his lips. His eyes never left hers. Watching, but not quite staring, appraising without really looking. It was as if he was searching through her for something.

Her fingers tingled but she ignored it. She dipped the washcloth in the basin again, careful to stay focused on what she was trying to do for this stranger. He was probably delirious with fever. His features were agonizingly hard and constricted, waiting for the next bout of pain to railroad through his body.

His pants became a little more aggressive and louder and she automatically was over him, ceasing her monitoring thoughts when his pain became unmistakable.

" Ssssh. It's okay." The cloth was in her one hand, the other cascading through his dirty blonde locks. She brushed them from his hot forehead, than swept the nimble tips of her fingers through the side of hair near his ear. She curled her fingers around the hair where his ear curved, following the natural line his hair shaped. She did this over and over without thinking, just resting on instinct.

" It's okay." She bent over him, closer, waiting for a small sign of consciousness. His eyes bobbed back in between hers, waiting on the brink of catching something. " I-I,"  
his swollen lips parted, croaked. He swallowed with great difficulty, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. He squeezed his eyes shut for the first time in minutes.

" You're going to be alright. Just rest." Her voice came out hushed and quiet, softened to a delicate whisper so cautious, Jason shivered. She felt his body react underneath her immediately becoming alert to how close to his face she was.

Her breath held and she recognized that his chest stopped moving too. " It's okay." She rested her palm then, cupping the side of his face, her thumb moving against the end of his sharp jaw. " Sleep…you're going to fine. Just sleep."

His eyes flashed open again, locking her in an intense visual grip. His stare demanded her to not look away and she didn't. The stream of air in her lungs died. Her chest burned but the words came out anyway like there was another voice inside of her possessing some piece of her motoring functions. The words flowed uninhibited from somewhere. She didn't know where the urge to soothe him and why her body reacted in pure compulsion to do so, but she could see outside herself as she did it.

This was against her nature. All of this was. Going on her instincts, feeding and obeying her first reactions, helping a man, a strange man fight a bullet wound and possible death. Everything was happening all at once and the only thing Elizabeth decided she could control was this man's ache.

She didn't know if she was comforting him or not but his face remained rooted on hers. He never broke stride with the pace her glances took on him. He looked through her like a man eyeing the last life preserver.

He opened his mouth to try and say something, but it ended in a frustrated huff. He licked his dry lips again. They were rough and callous underneath his tongue. After a small moment liquid bathed the dry soreness of his flesh, dripping over them like small burst of rain.

" Okay. That's okay. Good…." The voice lulled around him, making him dizzy again. It was hypnotic and he fought to keep his eyes from falling shut. "Sleep. You need your rest."

He held on to the intoxicating sound and relaxed as it washed over him. Seconds, minutes, skipped by as he drifted on a cloud of nothingness. Part of him wanted to fight the invading darkness but he couldn't. It was too strong, like an under toe of unconsciousness, grabbing at his ankles and taking him in. Jason was powerless to struggle, but the voice followed along with him as his companion. He listened for it and it carried along with him, bathing him in peace through the impending unknown.

The ring startled her. She jumped, the rag in her hand plopping on the young man's chest beneath her. He didn't move. Elizabeth heard the ring again. It was coming from the man somewhere. She slid the quilt down and the noise became louder. It was coming from his jacket pocket.

She slipped her fingers in there catching the small device between her fingers. She silenced it from the side, her eyes instantly darting to the man beside her. It hung in her hands and she watched it, contemplating what to do.

What if it was one of his loved ones worried where he was? Or his job? Elizabeth bit her lip and moaned, leaning her forehead against the phone. So far she had been running on pure impulse. She didn't wait to listen to her next thought when the light continued to flicker and buzz in her hand. She just did.

Pressing the green send button she brought the phone next to her ear. She didn't know why but she waited and just when she was about to speak the person on the other hand cut her off.

" Jason…Jason are you there? Jason, answer me. Did you get it done?"

Jason.

Her breathing erupted against the plastic. The words on the end vibrated through, static ridden from the man's growing agitation.

" It's been over three hours Jason. Did you eliminate the problem? I need to know."

The man was yelling, his voice short but explosive with apprehensive anger.

Elizabeth clicked the phone off, taking her first gulp of air. Her chest rose and fell, a pressure tightening across her chest. The man sounded so mad and the thought brought every emotion she was trying so hard to keep in check to the forefront.

A tear fell from her closed eyes, another followed and soon there was too many to follow. Her head fell in her chest, gripping the phone in between her trembling hands. What had she gotten herself into?

The phone was surprisingly cool against her skin. She shook her head, resolute. This wasn't helping. She couldn't break down now. She could do this. She had to. She had no choice.

Quickly she wiped the tears from her cheeks, pretending that momentary lapse of weakness never occurred. She had to put the phone back before he awoke and noticed it was missing.

She turned and was relieved to find him peacefully asleep. Her steps creaked as she made her way over to him. Elizabeth didn't know why it was always so hard to walk over to him. It felt like something was pushing her toward him, some magnetic force and it more than disturbed her.

His features were so soft and boyish in sleep. He looked nothing like the man looming over her before, making veiled threats and scaring the life out of her. His eyes, his mouth the plane of his high cheeks appeared almost delicate in their strength under the light of the moon.

Her hand slipped an inch of the comforter off, finding the pocket remarkably quick in the dark. The sigh of relief that slipped from her lips broke the pressure in her chest and her stomach eased inside her.

Her hand drew the comforter back up over his shoulder. Her eyes drifted up again, for some odd reason needing to give in to the impulse to look at his face. When they skimmed his chin something warm traveled through her. Her glance unabashedly glanced higher and her body froze.

His stare, alert and cold, blasted hers. She looked down instantly red and embarrassed.

She turned to the side, stuttering over awareness that grew between them in the atmosphere. " How…are you feeling better?" she whispered.

When he didn't answer she grounded her teeth together, mad at herself that she was nervous. She tried to glare at him but the expression he was carrying killed her temper. Nothing else moved around him, his body didn't even look alive but his crystal orbs conveyed a murderous vitality that scorched her speechless.

She tried again to speak but it was futile. He was pissed he was here, maybe angry he didn't get whatever job he was sent here to do accomplished. She concluded that time alone would probably give him some perspective and semblance. She turned just as his hand whipped up to catch her wrist.

The force of his strength sent her crashing over him. She used her knee as balance against his side so she didn't fall on him completely. He yanked her closer, bringing them a whisper apart. The tip of her nose bumped his and she immediately drew back a step, a harsh breath giving her fear away.

His face didn't change as he watched her. She made a small try at wiggling her wrist from his bruising hand but it only seemed to reinforce his hold.

" Let go of me." She finally grounded out, out of breath.

His nostrils flared, finally announcing that he wasn't some livid statue sent from hell to stalk and terrify her every step. " Tell me," he spoke, his voice deep with suspicion and destroyed from sleep, " what were you doing with my phone?"


	7. Chapter 7

The Hiding Place –Part 7

_There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive and being silent to be impenetrable Voltaire _

He had become like a statue again. The leap of anger in his eyes simmered below of very shaky surface. Elizabeth could tell the patience being held together behind his blue eyes was waiting to burst free. He wasn't good at this, pretending to be patient when he so obviously wasn't.

His hand remained encased around her, holding her effectively over and around his recovering body. She tried to remind herself to breathe but the only thing that kept running through her brain was an idea for an excuse, any excuse that would be plausible enough to let her go so she could have some distance to think clearly.

" I, um…the phone was ringing. I didn't know where the ringing was coming from so I looked around and I saw in your jacket pocket that it was your phone sooo…" she trailed off, letting her words fade, hoping he would now understand her obvious intent.

Instead his features darkened further and he yanked her closer, harder. She winced using her other hand to wrap it around his. His grip eased scantly, just enough for her to feel cool air breeze around her wrist. " You always answer other people's phones?"

Something in the tone of his voice made her snap.

" Excuse me, but I don't normally have unconscious men bleeding from gunshot wounds laying around. I guess I'm a little unclear on etiquette here. I'm pretty sure since you stumbled into _my_ window and you're staying in _my_ house, I can pretty much do as I damn well please."

She yanked her hand away and this time he let her go. Her whole body trembled but she made herself put at least a foot between her and him. She was fuming from the emotional buildup that have finally spilled out; mad that he still looked like she had wronged him some how.

She needed to compose herself, get out of there quickly, and come back when she had more control of what she was feeling and thinking. " Get some rest-"

" You didn't answer my question. I want to know why you picked up my phone."

His tone was unmistakably harsh and he didn't sever to hide his rage even after she turned to plant a disgusted look his way. " You're the criminal" she snickered dryly,

" I'm the one who should be asking you questions, not the other way around."

He ignored her as if she hadn't spoken. " Answer me."

Folding her arms over her torso Elizabeth fought for her best impression of aloofness. She had to remember that he was beyond incapacitated at the moment which gave her the position of temporary advantage and, however little that was, she had to take it.

" No I wont. As long as you are under my care, it's my rules. You don't like it? Tough. …" She knew she was playing with fire, especially since his eyes had sharpened dreadfully since she started opening her mouth, but she prattled on anyway. " Walk away if you don't like it. Oh, that's right you cant. Guess you're stuck here for the time being, but until you can walk out of here on your own, and believe me, as soon as that's possible I will escort you to the nearest exit myself, I call the shots."

Neither backed down as silence took over for several minutes. Her words soured his expression but he looked a little less lethal. His face turned to look toward the small window above him even though he was too low to look out.

" I'm going to make some soup. Just rest until I get back."

" I'm not hungry."

" Too bad."

She walked toward the door, relieved to be escaping the thick tension that had invaded her small cramped place.

" I said I'm not hungry."

His words held so much anger, Elizabeth had to almost wonder if some of it was misdirected. To some unknown thing or person that wasn't connected to her or this place. Otherwise it made no sense considering they were absolute strangers thrown together in an extraordinary situation.

" And I said too bad," she whispered, moving closer to him against her better judgement.

" I don't know exactly what your problem is and I personally don't care but I am not going to have you die on me. Your fever is finally starting to come down…you need to listen and let me take care of you…"

He started to move, wiggling under the blanket. He propped his weight on his weak elbows, leaning his head against the armrest of the futon. His breathing was already labored and shallow. " I got to get out of here." He spoke with so much determination Elizabeth almost believed he could.

" What are you doing?" He didn't answer her, using his one good hand to try and unwrap the comforter from his side. She settled her hands on his shoulders and he paused, his head bent. " Hey…listen, I know this is hard, but you need to stay still or you are going to start bleeding again."

Frustration rolled of his shoulders, the warm muscles under her pulsed, leaving nothing to her imagination. This was not a boy she was dealing with. This was a full grown man from a world totally differing from the one she was living in. His fingers folded into his one hand and he hit the bottom of the futon, cursing under his breath.

She remained immobile feeling more than little over her head. Silly cliché encouragements were not going to settle him. She didn't know how to act or deal with any of this. Finally she dropped her hands from shoulders. " What do you want?" she whispered without thinking.

His head came up and he looked at her finally. There was no bite in his eyes, just pure unbridled frustration mixed with a hint of remorse. His face was red from exertion, his lips quivering as he licked them. " I want to go home," he plainly stated.

" You will. I promise," she heard herself say softly. More softer than she intended to.

" I don't think you'll have to be here much longer."

" I hope not." He stated a bit restlessly. She turned her gaze from him as his face settled in her direction, taking in her small soft profile. " I'm sorry. I'm not a very good patient."

He sounded so genuine but Elizabeth refused to look at him. " I kinda got that already."

He shrugged his shoulders. " I don't like people taking care of me."

She made herself turn his way. " You could be dead."

He actually smiled, his eyes remaining intense. The smile was crooked and beautiful which made it all the more devastating to take in without some kind of warning. She frowned, all of sudden made that his beauty made her conscious of her state of appearance.

" What?" he leaned closer.

" Nothing." She shook off his fake concern, her face a hundred degrees warmer from his stare. She wished he'd stop and go back to being the monster. " I…the soup will be ready in about an hour."

" I said something to offend you." His eyes were wide, almost childish, like he was looking for some guidance. He continued to look up at her. The dark cloud of emotions had vanished and what had replaced them was far more unsettling than any monster he had been. His blue eyes radiated brooding intensity, making the outlining of him hard to look at while at the same time impossible to tear your gaze from, but, behind that brewed a quiet vulnerability, a curtain of strength that rocked her off her analytical axis. Elizabeth didn't doubt it was an act, she just couldn't believe how convincing it was.

She had spent half her life pretending to be something she wasn't and in a matter of one night she was being leveled by a couple of drops of charm and a few soft words. How disappointing.

" No," she finally responded when his eyebrows slanted in concern.

" Okay."

" Fine. I'll be back with the soup later. Don't move too much."

He sighed. " I think you already know I cant." He swallowed, resting his head down on the pillow and staring up at the ceiling.

She shook her head, " Right," and left without waiting for another thought to take over.

He watched her leave, his eyes squinting. There were a million and one situations running through his head. He had no time to wait for his body to heal, but he had little choice and fighting his recovery would only delay his job in the long run. But none of that is what held his attention at the moment. He was perplexed and quite occupied with something that didn't involve work and it mystified him that just for a moment his sole concentration was on the walking conundrum that was taking care of him.

The door slammed hard, shaking the vase sitting on the coffee table. Everyone was still surprised it had lasted this long with the way people rushed in and out of the house.

Elizabeth peeked at the clock on top of the stove. It was close to five thirty in the morning. She huffed, stirring the soup and pretending her sister hadn't just strolled into the kitchen, wearing the same party gear and makeup she was wearing seven hours ago.

Elizabeth glanced back to find Sam's face buried in the refrigerator. Well, there was one difference in her attire, she had a run in her stockings and her hair was a mess. It looked like…Elizabeth's mouth turned down…it looked like she had been doing some major rolling around.

" There is nothing to eat in this damn house."

Sam swung the frig door closed, placed her hip and the side of her face against it. " What are you making, it smells good?"

Her pause was momentary and knew it would slip pass her sister's inebriated state, but she hadn't even thought about what she would say. She wasn't a very good liar. " I…I got hungry after mom woke me."

Sam rubbed her eyes, her fake eyelash fell and hung from the edge of her real lid but she didn't notice to remove it. " I saw their car wasn't there, where are they?"

" Something happened with the numbers again and Mom is helping fix it. She said they are going to be there all morning and probably till tomorrow sometime."

Sam plopped her dressy sandals on the floor and came behind Elizabeth, leaning her chin on her shoulder to look over. " That looks good. Can I have some?" It was sad that her sister was actually more tolerable when she was drunk off her ass. The wall or whatever Sam used to protect herself from being off guard slipped when she was like this. Elizabeth felt like she really had a sister, someone who wasn't worried about what was out there in the world, but cared about real things like family and the deeper points of life.

Unfortunately, drunken stupors were as temporary as childhood innocence. Sam usually never remembered being nice to her and Elizabeth was too shy to bring it up. She took it for what it was and left it at that.

" I guess," she shrugged. " I'm saving some for mom and dad though. They are going to be hungry when they get back."

" Whatever." Sam ruffled Elizabeth's hair, letting her fingers slip through the locks. She seemed mesmerized by the act, her body swaying further back and forth the longer she stood there. " Just make me a bowl okay," she murmured in a sloshy whisper, " I'm going upstairs to change."

" Sam." Elizabeth hated to sound concerned. It always brought out Sam's annoyance rather than gratitude, but her present condition veered on the worse side of her usual alcohol consumption. " You okay?"

" What? Yes, I'm fine, mother. God, I'm the older sister remember?" The words fumbled lazily across her mouth, taking her time to turn around dramatically.

" Listen," Elizabeth cut off what she knew would be one of Sam's show stopping performances,. Sam was emotional when drunk and she didn't have time to blow her nose for her. "If anyone calls asking for Dad, don't tell them where he is. Just ask if they want to leave a message and that's it. Don't tell them anything."

Her sister's eyebrow slanted, her interest sobering her features for a moment. " What's going on?"

" I don't know anything more than you. Mom just told me to say that. She sounded worried."

" Really?" Sam tripped back into the kitchen, her eyes emanating real concern though she looked a bit green " That's not like mom. You know that."

" I know," Elizabeth shook her head in agreement. " I thought it was odd too, but I can't think about that right now."

" Why?"

Elizabeth halted, going back to the stove to continue her stirring. " I ..I got a lot on my plate right now. They should be home before nighttime anyway. I guess will find out when they come home and tell us."

Sam made a cackling sound that was completely unladylike. Elizabeth didn't bother to give her the satisfaction of her attention. She had subliminal radar and it always went off when people were about to make a dig or some rude comment at her.

" How do you do it?"

Elizabeth didn't break stride in her stirring. " Do what Sam."

" Be you. Don't you ever get tired of being so in control."

She was whispering into the wall. Drool was making its way out of the side of her mouth, but even in her state of embarrassing self-unawareness, Elizabeth knew she was speaking the truth. She knew Sam was sincere in her inquisitiveness. Her question was too raw and honest to be hidden behind sarcasm or scorn.

Elizabeth never stopped the spoon in her hand from spinning. She let it go around and around automatically. Sam's words swirling around her head like the spoon she was holding. " Yeah…" she admitted after a couple of quiet seconds. Her words broke the silence like something being thrown at a wall of glass. " I do."

She twisted and found Sam standing up, her full weight leaning into the wall, as a sleep as the dead itself. Elizabeth was immediately relieved that her sister hadn't heard her small confession, but also a bit dampened by the thought that no one, not her sister, her parents, really knew her.

The phone clicked off, the gentle tap of his fingers lingering on the receiver. The news would not be good to his boss. He headed off the perspiration making its' way down his face with the embroidered handkerchief his wife had given him for his birthday last year.

" Benny."

There was no need to turn around. Sonny Corinthos could read his face in the dark, over the phone, on another continent. Benny Abrahams wasn't used to handling this part of the business but since Jason had been away Sonny trusted no one else.

He cleared his throat, loosening his tie that now felt like a choke hold around his neck. " That was our friend from Port Charles. Bruce Webber."

Sonny spit out a curse before he downed the rest of his brandy.

" He's still alive."

" No shit."

" What a…what do you want me to do about the situation?" He plainly inquired, trying to ease the ruffled feathers of his high strung employer. " I gave him the instructions you told to me to if he contacted me. Now what?"

His boss, antsy, popped the top of the brandy bottle off, throwing it carelessly on the floor. Sonny, usually a presentation of class and sophistication, smooth and delicate even when giving harsh orders, was unraveling by the minute. His shirt was untucked, his hair greasy and wild…there were dark circles under his eyes that assumed days of insomnia.

" Jason has not contacted me. Until he does I don't want Webber touched." Sonny swallowed the fiery liquid in one gulp, winced a bit as it went down. " I want to know the minute someone gets in contact with Jason."

Benny offered up the small amount of affirmation he could think of to be true. " Jason, he's a good kid. He knows what he's doing I'm sure he's fine, sir."

" Somethings wrong." Sonny spoke over his accountant's meek encouragements. " I sent Jason because I knew he'd get the job done…I thought he was ready for this."

" He was. You could not have known that anything would happen."

Sonny held up his hand, silently requesting the man in front of him to stop. " Just…make sure you let me know the minute he contacts you."

" Will do, sir."

Sonny watched his head accountant walk out, gripping the glass around his fingers in deep frustration. Bruce Webber was still alive and Jason Morgan, his right hand man, was no where to be found. " Jason," he sighed into the darkness, " where the fuck are you?"

She had been fiddling with the end of her dress for the past five minutes. Ever since he started eating his soup. Jason couldn't stop himself from watching unabashedly. She fidgeted, rearranging her junk, paintings, on the floor, but it still looked a mess. Sitting down was worse because her hands never stopped their moving, her knee bobbed up and down while her eyes latched on to ever visible surface that didn't include his direction.

She finally noticed that the bowl was in the palm of his hand extended out to her. She gripped it but when she went to pull away his fingers caught the ridge and didn't let go.

" The soup was okay?" her voice sounded busy and impatient.

Jason didn't to back down. " It was fine."

She yanked on the bowl again but it remained rooted in between them in the air. The spoon fell, clattering on the wood floor. She looked at it. " What are you doing ?'

" Nothing." His eyes revealed little except pure animal satisfaction as he watched her face blush an arousing red, fading into a sheer rose. He waited, almost like he was caging her into her nervousness, but to Jason, it was all a innocent game. He was used to intimidating grown men, not little girls with a anxious edge.

The pinkness vanished highlighting the surface of her bright fair skin. He could feel her hand trembling through the bowl, his eyes trailed back to her profile and they lowered and darkened just as her front teeth caught her bottom lip.

His heart shook hard with a quick jolt and he dropped his hand away immediately, wiping his hand on the comforter, turning away from her. " I'm done here."

She brought the bowl to her stomach as she stood. Her chest rose and fell though emotional resistance pressed down hard on her. " I'll be back to check on you…in couple of hours."

He shook his head before she finished. " That wont be necessary. I'm okay," he replied. He sounded mad and she had no idea what could have caused his latest personality to emerge this time.

She made a point to sound absolute in her tone, her voice inflexible. " You're in my care. As long as you are I am responsible for you."

" I didn't ask for you to be."

She leaned her hand on her hip. " Would you rather the police, because I can arrange that?"

He finally leveled her with his impenetrable glare. " Is that a threat?"

" That's your alternative to me." She rested the bowl on the edge of the futon. Pursing her lips she vanquished all thoughts of her fear of him.

" Are you going to call the cops still?"

She shrugged her shoulders indifferently. " I don't know yet."

He pushed out an impatient breath. " You mind filling me in before you decide."

" How about you answer me a few questions?"

His cold eyes darted in between hers. " Like?" his voice was like stone.

" Like how you happened to stumble into my window and why you got shot in the first place?"

His lips puckered out stubbornly and he assessed her face boldly with one thorough sweep. " The less you know the better."

" I saved your life. I think I'm entitled to a few answers."

She was being arrogant and completely over her head was what Jason wanted to say. His eyes bore through hers…she was strong too, but fragile in a hidden sense. " I didn't ask you to save my life," he coolly replied. She opened her mouth but he didn't wait for her to speak. " When I'm well enough I said I'll be out of your hair."

" Listen.."

" Call me Jason."

" I don't think so." Her eyebrow slanted up.

" Whatever. I'm not answering your questions so get used to it," he said simply.

She grabbed the bowl from the ledge. " Has anyone told you that you're a real jerk sometimes?"

" Yeah," he crookedly smiled again as if she had complimented him.

" Do anything to remedy it?" her rage boiling under her skin.

The piercing color of his eyes danced around, shifting her insides, her stomach into a twist. " I don't care what people think."

" That's too bad," she answered lowly.

" Why?" his interest genuinely peaked, mostly because of the sound of her voice when she spoke.

" Nothing..it's just…if you don't care …I mean.." her words stumbled around in her mouth, never quite fitting into a coherent phrase. His face bent forward trying to follow along in her jumbling. " I mean…who cares about you then?"

Something, Elizabeth didn't have time to decipher what, flickered across his face but he concealed it too quickly. A casual shrug masked the odd expression along with a mocking tone. " What do you care?"

" I don't." Elizabeth answered a little too quickly. She realized she didn't really care for him, just the situation in general was giving her a major case of anxiety. She wouldn't be surprised if she had a panic attack.

He stared across to the end of the bed, a weary sigh escaping the hard line of mouth. Elizabeth had been so preoccupied with the unknown aura that flowed around him she had forgotten how tiring her questioning might be to his recuperation.

" You should sleep…I'm sorry," she couldn't stop her voice from carrying a soothing quality to it. She guessed situations like this conjured up the nurturing side of her. It was becoming quite an unpredictable nuisance to her well- trained sense of self.

He was facing the ceiling, lost in thought, but he answered her anywhere. " No you're not," the quiet rumble in his tone contradicted his pensive gaze with it's hint of mirth.

" It's okay. Nothing bothers me."

She believed that too. His words were callous, but they resonated hollow and lost to her. No one should be that content with being alone. Instinct kicked her in the gut but she fought it down with every bone inside her. " I'll be back in a couple of hours. If you need anything…"

His stare strayed back to hers. " And how would that work…ESP or something."

She ignored his subtle sarcasm. " My rooms right under yours. If you fell or anything I would hear it."

" Good to know." He scratched at his day old scruff, his eyes lighting a bit. " What if someone else hears?"

She thought about telling him she was alone but stopped herself. The reminder that he was a criminal never fully left her but when he wasn't so intense like he was being right now, he seemed more normal to her and it was harder to be so on guard.

" My room is the highest room in the house so the noise would never reach past my floor, plus my sister is dead asleep and my parents wont be home for hours."

He nodded, the momentary levity in his stare gone. "Okay."

" If you're worried or if you need anything just knock twice on the floor. I should hear you. I'm a light sleeper anyway."

" So this is some morse code or something. Knock twice for food, one for bathroom." He sounded more than displeased, but his features remained soft though tight.

" Would you like bell to ring me instead?"

He snorted and shook his head. " Whatever," he wiped his hand over his face.

" Okay, then. Well, get some rest."

He continued watching her. " You say that a lot."

" What?" she couldn't stop the self consciousness from creeping in her pose.

His scrutiny outlasted her delicate composure and she clenched her insides, his dark inspection casting shivers through her. " Nothing," he finally relented, looking away satisfied.

Quickly she turned, mad again. " Good Night," she clipped out shortly and slammed the door with enough force to make the old walls rattle.

His lips formed a smile unwillingly. He told himself he was just playing with her because he was bored and couldn't think about work. Her quick blushes were an easy distraction for his mind and since getting under skin was effortless, the entertainment was harmless in nature. Still it was wrong that it was so easy.

The vibration on his hip broke through his thoughts. He swiftly threw aside his comforter, wincing slightly when his arm jerked out too fast but he didn't break stride and pressed the button before it was at his ear. " Sonny?"

" Jason, where the hell are you man?"

Jason swallowed, rubbing his eyes. It felt like days ago since everything went down.

" There was a complication."

" I figured that when we got a call from our friend."

The tension in Sonny's voice wavered, but Jason chose to ignore it. " He called ?"

Sonny replied, " Yeah. I figured he would if things didn't go according to plan. What went wrong?"

" I forgot about the third guard on the east side. He doesn't make rounds usually like the rest. He drew his gun before I could even get a chance to explain, not that I would have. I ran before he got a second shot though."

" You okay?."

Jason sighed impatiently. " Fine."

"Bruce thinks it was burglary."

" I guess he's not as bright as we thought."

" Where are you now?" Sonny questioned hastily.

Jason's eyes closed, pinching down hard when he thought about the irony of the situation. " The Webbers."

Sonny stuttered " Say that again?"

" That's the complication," he answered in a low voice.

Sonny battled with the idea to throw the phone across the room. This was suppose to be quick and easy, in and out. " So there's more than one?"

" Besides for me being shot, yeah."

" Jason, spit it out," he yelled.

" His daughter," he whispered into the phone, " She found me before I could get the job done. I passed out and now she's hiding me in her attic till I'm well enough to leave."

Sonny covered his hand with his mouth. This was first time in his fifteen years of running things that he was stooped for words. " Does she suspect anything?"

Jason didn't hesitate to answer." No."

" The longer you're there the more suspicious she'll become. You have to get out of there Jason."

" I don't have a choice right now. I'll be out as soon as it's possible. Trust me," the words came out coolly. " She'll never know I was here to kill her father."


	8. Chapter 8

_Time does not change us. It just unfolds us. Max Frisch_

" Are your sure?"

" Yeah," he whispered carefully. The old walls around him creaked. " She has no idea."

Jason heard Sonny's unconvinced sigh. " I don't like this Jason. I think you should disappear as soon as everyone's asleep."

" I can't," Jason immediately replied. " She's already seen me and she's threatened to call the police more than once Sonny. She's seen my face…once her father comes home and tells her there was a burglary attempt at the office she is going to assume it's me and when she sees I'm gone there's nothing to keep her from talking."

" You think her hiding you is going to stop her from spilling everything to her family…once Bruce knows the identity of the man his little girl is taking care of this whole thing is going to blow sky high." Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

" I'm not sure, but I don't think she'll say anything. She already said she wouldn't." Jason's hushed voice remained steady. " Besides, she would have done it by now if she thought I was a real threat. I wanna be sure she trusts me…we should be fine then"

" Are her parents home yet?" Sonny questioned in a demanding voice.

Jason, clouded in thought, answered automatically. " No." He paused for a second, " What do you want me to do?"

Leaning against the desk, he scratched his forehead, his mind deep in strategy. " If you go, you are definitely going to be fingered by the girl sooner rather than later and that means Bruce will figure out what's going on. Wait, does she know your name?"

" Yeah, she does. Just my first though."

" What's hers?"

" Don't know. Don't want to. It's better if I just get the hell out of here when I can walk which should be soon."

" Then what Jason?" Sonny's voice rose. " She's still going to know who you are. We cant trust that she's not going to say anything just because she is taking care of you right now. She could panic, once her father realizes what happened at the factory and starts telling her to beware of such and such man…she's going to put two and two together."

Jason looked up at the small octagon shaped window. " What do suggest?"

Sonny waited, his voice barely audible, but dead in tone. " We might have to get rid of her."

" Sonny," Jason's eyes closed. His voice staggered and he hit his head hard against the armrest behind him. Anger mingled in disbelief made his voice grow, " You're kidding right?"

" What other option do I have?" his answer cut threw defensively.

" She's a kid."

" She's witness, Jason. A witness. She could blow this whole thing open especially if dear ol' dad starts getting wise to last nights events."

Jason's head shook. He waited for comprehension to take over, for Sonny to start making some sense and start sounding like Sonny. " Sonny…killing her is not an option."

When Sonny spoke again his voice was silk and smooth, the faintest hint of calculation burrowing underneath. " Let's just take one step at a time. Right now I want you to concentrate on getting better. I need you back in perfect health before we can even think about reconvening."

A burning sensation in Jason's lungs flagged when he tired to swallow. Sonny's answers did not settle him. " You want to me to call before I head back to the city?"

" No. When you are well enough to get out of that shit hole, find the nearest hotel, motel, whatever and notify me as soon as you do."

Jason didn't hide his surprise. " I thought you wanted back me down there as soon as possible? Isn't staying kind of pushing it?"

" Not if the job hasn't been finished." Sonny waited for Jason to argue but when he didn't he continued. " If we wait for routine to kick in again, they are already going to have double security…they are going to be expecting another hit. Since none of our men were to know about this except you and Benny, I want everyone to think it was from the outside even after that son of bitch Bruce is floating face down in the PC river.

" …No one will be expecting us to strike now. Bruce is probably in a frenzy, security is on their tail trying to figure out what they did wrong while covering their asses when I send my men down for an explanation. This has to happen as soon as possible."

" Whatever you want."

Sonny could tell from his voice that Jason wholeheartedly disagreed. He also knew Jason would do whatever he said. Jason had never disobeyed him. He was loyal and a complete professional for this line of work. He never went behind his back, never got creative with Sonny's orders. He did what was told without question and Sonny valued his strict code of honor. The invaluable of what made Jason up was what made him Sonny's second and nothing less.

" Kid, trust me. You know I know what's best, right?"

Jason breathed out hard into the phone. " Yeah."

" Remember that. Don't start getting soft on me."

He squeezed the ends of his forehead. " I'm not Sonny," his reply more irritated than he intended. " I just, I don't like the way this is working out. That's it."

" Trust me."

" I do trust you. That's not the issue."

" Well, than what? What did I tell you when I picked you up off the streets? I told you in this business to do what you are told, never ask questions, never think you know better. If you know your place, show fear and respect to your boss, you are infallible. I need to know you trust me to handle this Jason. You have never second guessed me…now is not the time to start."

The face of the girl emerged suddenly when his eyes shut closed in thought. " I know," his voice surrendering for the moment. " I trust you Sonny."

" Good. Then call me when you are out of there and not a minute before or after. In fact, I'd rather you keep the phone somewhere where she can't find it."

Jason bit down on his lower lip, warring whether he should reveal to his boss that she had already found the phone. " Okay," he said exerted from all the strain of the situation. " She wont find it. She's a good kid."

" I'm sure she is," Sonny spoke in a divorced way that told Jason he wasn't really listening.

" A little mouthy," he replied dryly with distraction.

Sonny chuckled softly. " Aren't they all. Listen," he interjected before the conversation veered off course. " I gotta split. I have this gala thing I have to attend. If there's an emergency call my cell, otherwise I don't want to hear from you till you are out of that house."

" Right. Bye."

Sonny pressed his finger on the receiver then quickly dialed in another number. The phone rang several times before a male voice with a heavy Brooklyn accent answered.

" Yeah?"

" Listen, I might need you."

" For what?"

" Just in case things go wrong…you're my contingency plan."

Elizabeth stared up at her ceilings. There was a faint shadow of the light peeking through the curtain. It shone weakly against the wall next to her and half of her ceiling. She guessed it would be an hour or two before sunrise was fully complete and the bright day lay before her.

Whether she was ready or not.

It was hard to wrap her mind around all that had happened in the last few hours. It was easier to believe it was some fantastic nightmare that her warped subconscious had devised. Elizabeth could accept that, but as the cold hard reality of day dawned without ceasing, she couldn't fathom how she was suppose to go on pretending to be as strong as she was.

Her nature reveled in practicality. Now she was forced to go against everything built inside her to help a man she didn't know, didn't trust; a man who didn't like her and spoke less than any human she had ever encountered.

The truths the possible and potential lies swirled around her, like a merry go round. How did she go from being so safe from a place like this, a far deep black hole, covered in quicksand, dark thick quicksand with no branches in reach.

" I am so dead," she muttered under her breath.

Sleep was never going to come. Elizabeth didn't try to fight her insomnia. She thought maybe the shock of the traumatic would have exhausted her body. At least enough to halt her brain from going into overdrive for a few hours, but there was no reprieve. Sleep was an unreachable goal. Kind of like the rest of her dreams.

Her cell phone rang once next to her. She flipped it over, keeping it hooked on the charger. She pressed the side to light the screen, it beamed One Message. She flipped the top and read the text message, not paying a single inch of attention to what she was doing.

It was from Lulu. It read:

**Liz, y u not cll me? How was party? Need the 411.**

**Cll me as soon as u can. Luv ya**.

The party. That seemed weeks ago.

Her life felt weeks ago. This whole night somehow had become her whole life in a matter of one second. One second was all it took to change everything, to shift her meaningless priorities from emotional escape to thinking only of living. Living in the moment, something that was as unfamiliar to her as her college future.

Elizabeth closed the lid of her phone, placing it beside where she was. How was she suppose to survive this and move on as if nothing had happened? She couldn't _not_ remember. She couldn't not remember _him_.

Her eyes drifted to the ceiling again.

His eyes, blue and probing, cast a shadow over her running mind. He promised he wouldn't hurt her. She had no reason to believe him except that she had no choice. Her brow crinkled, she tried hard to remember his face when he vowed that no harm would come to her, but all she could see was hard shaped diamond blue.

The edges of his sharp features never buffed down. The brow over his eyes always roofed protectively over the crystal colors that stared back at her with such potency, it made her insides dance in fear.

His mouth remained either hard and flat like an unforgiving line drawn between bad and worse or it was rounded, the top was like a smooth hill of flesh, the lower one a mirror reflection.

Her hand drifted up as if to trace the blaring mental image.

She closed her eyes, catching herself off guard. She focused on his words, on getting him out of this house as soon as it was possible. That was all she had left to do. His steady temperature decline and growing strength were all favorable signs.

Maybe, Elizabeth expelled a breath that had been bottled deep in her chest, this nightmare would be over before it started. Twenty four hours. That was what she was giving him and his recovery. The bullet obviously hadn't hit any major intestines or anything a hospital could care for.

A tear, appearing from nowhere and from nothing inside her, trailed its way down from the corner of her eye to the side of her cheek. It trickled fast vanishing in the recess of her ear, leaving a cool path of moisture in it's wake.

" Stop it," her little voice softly scolded. " Don't break now."

Another tear from the same eye, the same place, dashed out, this time plopping quickly on to the strands of hair that had escaped her ponytail. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears back. She would not break now. She couldn't afford it, she didn't have time for it.

Everything would be alright as long as she kept doing what she was doing. As long she acted, didn't think…as long as he promised…

The thud above her shattered the fragile condition within her. She popped up on her elbows not sure she really heard it. Then a smaller thud sounded and Elizabeth was out of the bed in a shot, her fingers grazing the doorframe for support as she flew for the stairs.

She popped her head into Sam's open door. Sam was still in her dress, but she was dead asleep on her stomach. Half her leg was off the bed, her snoring ridiculously loud for such a tiny person.

She zipped back up the stairs, taking two and time. Her short but sturdy legs ached, the air around her aching as she gulped small amounts in. She didn't know why she was so scared now. He probably just needed something, something she could hopefully give quickly and get out just as fast.

Everytime her fingers touched the cool knob her heart stopped beating. She pictured him standing like a mountain over her, his gun pointed directly at her heart. His cool appraising eyes would be speak the words _S.u.c.k.e.r._ out right, than turn pleasing and satiated as he pulled the trigger.

She swallowed, ignoring the things she couldn't control, and turned the knob.

Relief instantly washed over her when she saw nothing and no one standing, but it was momentary. Jason.

Her eyes squinted, the dark immeasurably overshadowing the impending sunlight in the small attic. He was on the floor, face down, blood had trailed out from under his side and spilt across the wood floor for a lengthy few inches.

" Jason, Jason…" She was at his side instantly. She rolled him over, using all the strength she had left on her legs, she pushed at his granite hip, well below his wound. " Come on," she spat out in the empty room.

After a few seconds of pushing his dead weight gave in and his body lay against the bottom of the ratty futon.

She shook him. His face was the color of bone, paler than any human she'd ever see. " Oh my god, Jason. Wake up."

She yanked at the top of his black t-shirt, her other hand cradling his face. " Jason, I need you to wake up." She didn't hesitate, she slapped in the face, hard. She hit him again and again. " Jason, wake up!"

After the seventh slap, his pale cheeks were dark with red splotches. " God, please," her desperate whisper was immediately swallowed up by the nothingness around her. " Please," she urged hoarsely, pushing her hair back from her face.

" Jason." She pulled at his shirt, bringing her forehead against his she fiercely ordered her next words. " Open up your eyes. Now. Jason." She tapped at his bruised cheek. " Give me something, please."

" Wake up!" She crushed her face to his. A tear hit his nose and then, as if the tiny drop of moisture revived life in him, he awoke with a startled gasp. She withdraw, her hands still framing his face.

" Okay. You're okay."

His face turned a sickly gray. The blood around his wound oozing small but consist drops. " Okay, listen to me. I need you to stay still. I want you to put pressure on the wound." She grabbed the pillow above his head while she spoke. " Hold it against the wound."

" Jason.." Her fingers grabbed him underneath his chin, making him look at her. " Look at me."

His half lid eyes were unfocused, the blue overcast with fever and confusion. He licked his upper lip sluggishly like it took all the strength in the world to do. " I need you to look at me, okay? Focus, Jason. I need to go and get you some medicine."

He responded fast, shaking his head defiantly as he tried to move to sit up. " I'm fine," he croaked out. " I'm okay."

" I don't have time to argue with you." She jerked his chin up, his eyelids drifting up and down. " Jason. Pay attention. I'll be right back. The pharmacy is just around the corner, just don't move, keep the pillow on your wound."

He moved his mouth to talk but coughed hard into his hand. The congestion in his cough sounded like it had the beginnings of bronchitis, but Elizabeth forced herself to ignore that possibility. She brushed her hand up and down his arm as his coughing fit died down.

" Okay…sshh. It's okay."

" No." He shook his head again, his face red and taut. " They'll…suspicious."

" Let me take care of that." She ignored his weak protest. " I know someone who can help. Just please…listen to me and say still. I don't want your wound opening anymore. I'm going to buy bigger gauzes and more disinfectant for the wound."

His lids were bobbing again. She squeezed his chin with her fingers. " Jason," she jerked him up hard, " Do you hear me?"

His breathing evened out a bit, but it remained shallow and faint. His stare met hers after several seconds of struggle.

" Promise me you will do as I say."

He nodded his head.

" Promise me Jason."

The murkiness surrounding him parted for a second and he held her gaze. " I promise." His reply was unequivocal and sturdy.

She released him gently, taking the cushion from the bed and placing it under his head.

" I'll be right back," she whispered to him. His eyes were already closed.

She allowed herself a second to study him, then glanced out toward the window. Outside it was daylight now, but in her world it still felt very much like night.

Lucky Spenser was right where she knew he'd be. Stocking up in the back. Mr. Heller, the boss, had owned the family business since before her family moved here. He was a nice old man but he was getting on in age so six out of the seven days of the week Lucky, Lulu's annoying older brother, ran the place.

He had had a crush on her since middle school. It took Elizabeth a full two years to shake him off her and when he finally got the hint he treated her like the something he scraped off the bottom of his shoe. She sucked in a deep preparatory breath. She was just about to undue two years works' worth of bitchness.

" Lucky," She made her voice sound happy to see him.

He didn't look up from box he was cutting open with a boxcutter. " Elizabeth Webber. What brings you up here this early in the morning." It wasn't a question, it was a formality to hide his true greeting which she was sure included the finger and a few choice words.

" I, um," she decided to go straight for it. Time was not on her side. " I need a favor."

His hand rested in mid slice, but he didn't turn. " I must have heard wrong. You want what?"

" I don't have time for games Lucky. I need your help and I need it now."

After several slow seconds of purposed silence, he faced her. She had his expression down in her head and she wasn't far off the mark when he revealed his smarmy expression without apology.

Lucky, all bias aside, was a decent looking man to any passing woman. He was tall with chiseled good looks, blue eyes, dark brown hair that made his eyes pop out drastically. His jaw was sharp and unbelievably strong and he had a great build. His all American exterior would make any unsuspecting out of towner take a second and third detailed gaze, that is until he opened his mouth and ruined it.

" What on earth could Elizabeth Webber want from me? I doubt I've ever had anything that you ever wanted."

God, he was still bitter. He didn't even try to hide it. " I need you to give an antibiotic and whatever else is used to heal a sick person."

" Excuse me." Lucky pretended not to pay attention to her. She guessed he wanted more begging first.

She locked gazes with him, ignoring the pompous way he leaned over her in the doorway.

" I don't have time for your high school shit Lucky. I need you to do me this favor."

He leaned closer, scratching his eyebrow as he eyed the length of her body. " And what do I get in return?"

" I don't have anything you want."

" You'd be surprised."

Her response was terse. " Whatever. I need antibiotic, rubbing alcohol, the big gauze and whatever else for an open wound."

" Open wound? What exactly is this for?"

"None of your damn business. I'll pay you now but the favor will have to come later."

His faux contemplation was well staged and lagged on for several minutes. He moved over to cash register, checking the aisles. Elizabeth twisted her watch over to get a look at the time.

" Lucky I need this now."

" What about a doctors prescription." He was smiling so smug she wanted to kick his teeth in with her steel toed boot.

She didn't cover her impatience in her voice. " That's part of the favor. I don't have it." She swallowed, closing her eyes and she choked up her next word. " Please."

" Well," he gloriously conceded, victory stamped across his bright smile. " Since you put it that way."

He went into the back and Elizabeth paced the front counter over and over, never letting her mind drift toward anything too dangerous enough to make her nervous. He was quicker than she anticipated.

" Here's a topical antibiotic. Make sure to put it on twice a day. Here's an antibiotic, take it with food. All the other stuff is in the bag." For a second he seemed so focused on calculating the sum a hint of gratitude welled up in her chest.

" Who's this for?" he failed in questioning her casually.

" That's between you and me." She locked eyes with him again.

" And my favor?"

Elizabeth grabbed the bag and threw a fifty on the counter. It was the last of her saved money from her dinky summer job. Thank god she had her account money.

" For another time and place." She forced an understanding smile but her eyes were tight with a warning. Lucky might be an obnoxious dim bulb but he shook his head before he looked away and headed toward the back door.

She ran out the door and he poked his head in the aisle, enjoying the usual cool and collected Elizabeth scurrying about like a fidgety rabbit. " I hope you're ready Elizabeth because you owe me now and I intend on paying you a visit real soon."


	9. Chapter 9

_You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough. Frank Crane_

Her head craned to the side as the door behind her closed in a silent thud. Every single time she walked in she predicted his absence, his nonexistence for that matter. Relief would come quick and swift at the buoyant thought just like fresh air to exerted lungs, but the floating wish, just as fast, would get squashed like a fly the second she would see his imposing but sickly presence graze her vision.

She moved cautiously closer, one slow foot moving in front of the other almost like dance. Tiny beads of sweat broke through on her forehead, the attic was always a bit stuffy in August. Now that he was here, in her place, it didn't even resemble her hiding spot. His presence wrecked the illusion her mind had taken years to build up.

She really wanted to hate him. Elizabeth wished with everything fiber of her being that she could. If he continued displaying this sunny attitude of his at her perhaps hate wouldn't be so far out of reach. She hoped it would come soon. Right now all she recognized was confusion within her and it was hard enough keeping a level head.

She stopped a foot by his bedside. He was on the floor with the mattress behind him just the same as when she left him. His whole face was lit up, there were no dark shadows, just a smooth plain surface of skin and stubble. Elizabeth never saw anyone sleep so motionless. Not that she ever stood and watched anyone sleep before. In fact, the idea sounded ludicrous, but taking in his quiet form she couldn't tear her eyes away.

She really didn't want to wake him.

His face, peaceful in sleep, released from the stress of pain, was a beautiful statute of tranquility. Just still beauty. His beauty was unforgivably aching, so real and tangible and yet the closer she came toward him the farther away she seemed.

Elizabeth's fist tightened and the paper bag she was holding crinkled in answer. It was silly and childish and Elizabeth felt a little bit like a voyeur gaping so openly at him. None of what was stirring inside her made sense. How could she be jealous of a grown man? Just because he was overly confident, borderline arrogant, insistent, and had a nasty stubborn streak piled behind the face of a warrior angel, didn't mean she had any reason to envy him.

But she did. He embodied everything she was running away from. Every football player, every drunk preppy guy who got with every girl, cheated on every test, and walked through every class, only to strut through the halls with a braggadocios grin, letting anyone who would listen that he was the man.

This Jason was an exact replica of those boys from the cocky attitude to the magazine cover looks. Elizabeth gaze wandered and stilled on his closed eyes; they appeared more soulful than any guy she graduated with, but that part of him was shadowed so far back behind his smug demeanor it was almost imperceptible. Or maybe it didn't exist at all. It could be a figment her desperate subconscious conjured to enable her stupid, stupid hope.

Her hope that there was someone, just one someone out there, who wasn't like the rest of them. Someone like her who didn't fit in, didn't flow with the crowd or follow the rules. Someone.

Jason stirred. His head turned to the side slightly, leaning his right cheek a bit on the pillow more.

She kneeled, watching him the whole time, telling herself she didn't care if he woke. If her hands would just stop shaking, she wouldn't care about anything right now except getting this medicine in him.

Doing this without waking him was futile but Elizabeth would try anyway. Anything to keep him unconscious and his weighty gaze off of her.

She removed the blanket easily since both his hands were underneath. His shirt on the other hand was another story. It was a black plain t-shirt which of course had no buttons which meant her only access would come through lifting the blood-soaked material.

Forcing herself not to think she lifted and pulled the thin material back in one slow motion. Her limbs, her arms, froze for one quick second at the sight of so much blood. It was an endless ring around the small puncture of flesh. The amount of blood soaked around the wound looked like a grenade had gone through his side.

She poured the rubbing alcohol on the clean cloth, placing one hand above the wound and wiping with the other. Some of the blood was old and some of it was fresh just from this morning.

Elizabeth did her best to remain detached from the scene she was heavily immersed in. The rusty smell of the blood, the black deep hole that began to show once her cleaning strokes worked through the mess. His shallow breathing picked up a step and the steadying fingertips of her left hand tingled in awareness for a split moment.

" Stay still, okay." She whispered, her voice and face concentrated on the wound.

He didn't answer but she knew he had heard her. His body became like a living statue underneath her again. Alive but as posed as a flower on a windless day.

She leaned back a bit, finished with the cleaning part. The bullet wound didn't appear so threatening without all the blood covering it. She never realized something so small could cause so much damage. Looks certainly were deceiving. " How are you feeling?" she asked, her words soft but strict in business.

Jason swallowed a few times. Everything hurt, swallowing was no exception. His body felt robbed of any strength, the muscles, every piece of him, was buried under six feet of concrete. He couldn't even move his hands to rub his aching eyes.

" Fine," he hissed out as the alcohol seeped through the open wound.

Her delicate but unwavering hand soothed the area with the topical medicine then placed the gauze over the area, using the medical tape to secure it in place. He wasn't bleeding at the moment which Elizabeth had to guess was a good sign. She hoped it stayed that way. She grabbed the bag next to her and retrieved something with one hand, covering his wound with the t-shirt and then the blanket with the other.

" I'll get you a clean shirt when I get the chance."

Her eyes finally roamed near his face. His eyes were closed but he was definitely awake. His face was way too tense and straining now to pass for slumber. " You don't have to lie you know," she said matter of fact, waiting for his reaction.

She didn't get one…which she should have been getting used to by now.

" I'm fine." He made sure he sounded certain, almost annoyed by her query.

Elizabeth shook her head, shaking the bottle of pills in front of her, reading the label carefully. " I don't believe you."

He coughed, his hand covered the harsh small sound, but it didn't mute the congestion she heard. When in it subsided he dashed a quick glance at her than planted his stare back at the ceiling. " That's nice."

She sighed, crawling closer to his top half. " I got some medicine." She held it up but he didn't make any recognition that he had heard her. " Jason, please sit up…you need to take this."

When she looked again he was staring at her. It caught her off guard, mostly because he peered at her with such unfound intensity. " I...uh…this will help."

He didn't wait for her to continue fumbling over her words and he did his best attempt of sitting up on one elbow. She grabbed him from underneath his arm and supported him the rest of the way. His eyes never left her face but she ignored it.

The bottle cap plopped off and she handed him two large white pills. " This is an antibiotic for the fever and if there is an possible infection. If there is any fever it should…"

He cut her off, discarding the pills in his mouth carelessly like it was candy. " I know what antibiotic does," he stated plainly not looking away even when she did.

" I brought you some.." her words faded as she watched him swallow. " …water."

She scratched her nose. There was nothing left to do now but wait. " Well, there's, uh, water up there if you'd like some. It's good to have some fluids in your stomach especially with the antibiotic in your system."

" I'm good," his gravelly answer reassured, but texture of his voice, baritone and scratchy, did just the opposite. She finally returned his stare after she pretended to appear busy. Jason smirked internally. She was extremely bad at it.

" No you're not," she argued solemnly. " You know you could be dying, right?"

Jason smiled despite the anger that simultaneously invaded him. " What do you care?"

He hated questions. He hated it even more when people got concerned and worried when the situation was obviously out of their hands. What was the point of worry, it certainly didn't do him a shred of good.

Elizabeth recognized when the tightness crept around the corners of his eyes. His smile was lopsided and genuine, one that made the unknown inside her react, but none of it reached beyond the slight dimple in his right cheek.

" You're not used to people taking care of you. Is that it?"

His stare frosted into an unmistakable glare. " I don't like it."

" Why not?" her compulsion rode over his closed off features.

He heaved out a large full breath that couldn't be misinterpreted for anything but complete vexation. " What's with the twenty one questions."

She winced slightly, the bite in his voice undeniably irritated. Elizabeth wanted to kick him. So much for letting your instincts take full reign. She didn't know why she bothered and the more she sat there the more outraged she became.

This was why it was safer to remain detached. It was an easy thing to say though, but it was becoming a lot harder to carry out. She was right plop in the middle of it all, she had to give herself some slack that she was bound to fall every once in a while. This was definitely a severe reminder of how muddled this situation was getting. It had to stop.

Jason saw her flinch and bit back on his tongue, tightened his hand around the comforter to stop himself. He didn't know what exactly he was stopping himself from doing but whatever it was he knew it wasn't a good idea.

Her face flushed like the inside of her rose, dark and silk. He gulped and looked away, forcing himself not to feel bad. He didn't need questions that he couldn't answer, didn't want to for that matter. It was better this way.

" I'll be back in an a couple of hours to change your dressing and give you more meds." Her tone was impartial and direct. She didn't sound like she usually did, kind of uncertain but steady in its' syrupy huskiness. Not that there was a _usually_ between them. She was a stranger. There was no familiarity between them. She was just a sweet stranger who happened to be making the biggest mistake of her life.

He nodded at her, his profile granite as he continued peering at the wall.

She got up, grabbing the discarded remnants of her care, stuffing the now empty bag with the bloodied rag and paper towel. He laid back down with struggle, gripping his side as he cautiously rested on his back, finally letting himself breath once he was pressed safely into the comforter.

The front door banged closed underneath the floor, shaking the whole house and announcing a new arrival.

Her eyes shot to his and his were wide with question.

" My parents are home."

He shook his head, understanding falling between them.

" I'll be up when I can," she kept the firmness in her voice despite the weariness that enveloped him. " Try not to move to much."

She didn't wait for him to answer and left quietly, closing the door without any sound breaking the tensing air. He caught the slight creak of descending footfalls, listening for them intently and when they finally drifted into nothingness Jason used his left hand, his good hand, and smacked the wall with an open fist.

He fucking hated complications.

Elizabeth bounded down the stairs, her head up and wandering to find her parents. She leaned over the banister. Her mother was taking groceries out from the plastic bags and her father was not in sight.

"Mom."

She didn't stop what she was doing. " Honey, make dinner. I bought some chicken and broccoli. You're always good at concocting edible meals…where's Tommy?"

" Napping." Elizabeth eyed her mother, bending her head to catch her mother's peculiar haphazardous state. " What's going on?" she asked tentatively.

" What do you mean dear?" Her mother was superb in her delivery, but something was missing.

" The office…everything okay? Where's Dad?"

Carolyn didn't fully turn just twisted her head, smiling which seemed cued with rehearsals. " Dads in the study. Everything's fine." She coolly patronized. Elizabeth could tell her intentions were innocent but her mother really had no nurturing side and her dramatic attempt at one was sickening to take in at times.

" I told you the numbers were just messed up. You know Daddy's partner, from time to time, makes a few errors. Dad went to check and the ending balances didn't add up." She shrugged her shoulders easily, returning to the unpacking. " I was more worried about here."

Involunatrily, Elizabeth's back straightened. She was glad her mother's cool scrutinizing eyes weren't on her. "Everything's fine. Good. Tommy was dead on his feet today. I only woke to feed and change him and then he went right back to sleep. He's real tired for some reason."

" Oh good." Carolyn chose to reveal a small tired sigh. " I'm exhausted myself. Just let him sleep the night…if he wakes…."

" I'll feed him," Elizabeth finished. She couldn't help but take on the same scrutinizing eye her mother always held over her. " You sure you and dad are okay?"

" Elizabeth, please." Her mother brushed her daughter's concern off with an absurd tone.

" We've been at the numbers all day. My eyes feel like they are going to fall out of my head. Don't be ridiculous, please," she huffed with a soft chuckle.

" I was just-"

" Where's your sister?"

" Sleeping."

" Sleeping?" She shrieked, twirling around, disapproval slashing her complexion. " It's almost the middle of the afternoon."

" She was drunk and she didn't get home till almost five. I guess the party was good."

Carolyn had her hands on her hips, strumming her red nails against the fabric of her dress pants. " You didn't think so."

Elizabeth didn't blink as she placed her own eyes on her. " I don't like those kind of parties. You should know that."

Her mother stepped toward her then peered at the stairs in the distance. " Let me go wake her. She needs to reconsider her place in this family if she is going to act more like the baby then the eldest."

Elizabeth didn't pretend to understand her mother. She stared at her blankly. She had always given Sam full reign of the car, no curfew, her own credit card, what did she expect exactly? No wonder her mother was tightly wound where she was concerned. She probably realized she had screwed up with Sam and therefore redoubled her efforts into preventing that from happening again.

" Umm, dinner? Make anything I want from the chicken?" Elizabeth shot the poultry a disgusted glare. After all the blood and flesh she had witnessed today the last thing she wanted to deal with was any sort of food.

" Not anything you want. We are all having dinner together. I feel like I haven't seen my girls in days. A nice dinner Elizabeth. Your father and I are hungry." Her directions skipped down off the walls as she walked up the stairs, low, but unfortunately, audible.

She rolled her eyes, whispering to the dead chicken. " Clean the furnace Cinderally, do the dishes Cinderally." She grabbed the hair band from her wrist and made a sloppy ponytail at the base of her neck. " I swear.." she spit lowly, making a face at the damn ugly food plopped on the counter. She wasn't exactly Wolfgang Puck here. What the hell did her mother want from her?

Next her sleeves were up and her eyes were shut tight as she closed her fingers around the cold knife with one hand and grabbed the slimy piece of chicken with the other. She instantly forced her brain to take another path from her present unpleasantness.

Suddenly her mother's words crept back to her. Together. Dinner. They were home and he, the man she was taking care of, the criminal, the…Jason, was here. In the same house as them. Under the same roof.

She heard a squishing sound and eyed the meat in her hand, as it popped out from both ends of her squeezing hand. What she wouldn't give for a punching bag right now. Or better yet, she smiled at the frivolous thought, a one way ticket out of here.

Where'd she go didn't matter. Hawaii maybe, some place exotic, some place that didn't remind her of Port Charles or anything about her former life. A place where the future she wanted was possible and she wasn't under the microscope of her family, her peers, her own expectations.

A place were she could just be.

She knew now more than ever that a place like that didn't exist anywhere but in her head. She used to find a remnant of solace in her attic, but that had changed now too. That place would never be the same to her ever again.

She was truly stuck. But, for some reason, her heart remained in the waiting position despite the stark roadblocks.

Elizabeth's eyes rose to the ceiling. She was in neutral and flooring it.

" Hey."

" You liked dinner Dad?"

Elizabeth lowered the water pressure to hear her father behind her.

" Let me do that. You made dinner after all."

" No." Elizabeth didn't want to recall the gray circles under her father's eyes. " You had a long night. Go. Go to bed."

" It's five o'clock pumpkin," his warm voice chuckled behind her.

" And when's the last time you slept since yesterday?" She didn't want a response. She didn't need one. It had been too long and that was all there was too it. " That's what I thought. Mom and you are dead on your feet. Please. The dishes are almost done. Sam is cleaning the table up."

" Tommy was good?" he sounded overly apprehensive.

" He was fine," she turned a bit to catch him cover his worry. " Everything is okay here. We've done this before, dad. No biggie right. It's not like we haven't been through harder times."

" That will never happen again," Her father sternly vowed. His hand rested on her shoulder. " I swear Elizabeth, this family will never have to suffer the way it did before."

" Dad… I know. I know, okay?" She faced him, her hands drenched, but she was unconscious to anything but her father's troubled expression. His forehead creased, the lines protruding drastically, folding over one another. " I trust you. If you don't know that by now…you have always provided for us. No matter what. I know that wont change, no matter what happens."

He smiled but it was so mournful Elizabeth couldn't return the jester without breaking down. " You always were mature for your age. Taking on things that shouldn't have been your responsibility at such a young time in your life."

" Dad, please."

" I am so proud of you."

Elizabeth remained immobilized, not sure she had heard him correctly.

" I know your mother and I don't say it much but we are pumpkin. You are the second in the Webber family beside me to go to college. I don't have a doubt in my mind that you will make something of yourself. You have too much passion, too much talent. I," he hesitated, choking on the emotions he was trying desperate to keep at bay, " I couldn't ask for more in a daughter. You make me proud to be your father."

Elizabeth wasn't exactly an expert at communicating her own emotions without melting into a blubbering heap of tears and sniffles. She knew what he was trying to say and maybe, like her, it took a couple of detours to finally get it right. They were so much alike it was scary sometimes. " I love you too Dad." Her answer broke through the welling lump in her throat. " You know that right? I love you and nothing can ever change that."

He shook off her declaration, " Elizabeth, please…"

" No. Listen to me. You…" she swallowed, searching for the right word. " You have always been like a hero to me. I always wanted to be happy and content and strong the way you are. I…I love how you love your family and we are everything to you. You take care of us so much and I don't think you really know how much I appreciate that."

Her hands somewhere along the way had clasped with his. He gently squeezed hers, but when he looked back up at his daughter, there was so much undetectable sorrow there. His eyes brimmed over in tears. " Don't look up to me pumpkin. Follow your own path. Okay?"

She pretended not to hear him. " I have never met such a humble man." She hugged him hard, holding him in her arms like it would be last time she would ever see him. She kissed his ear and then whispered, " I know everything is going to be okay Daddy. I trust you."

His joints under her locked frozen and she backed away but didn't break from their hold.

" What's wrong?" She roamed over his face for an answer.

" Nothing." He let go and shuffled back a few steps as he massaged his temples. " Just tired like you said," he shrugged easily.

" Okay, well, then, get some rest." Elizabeth replied lamely, her thoughts preoccupied by the one eighty she just witnessed. She went back to the dishes, turning up the knob for more water pressure.

" Elizabeth?"

" Yeah?" she didn't turn.

" Later, tomorrow, we need to talk."

" About?" she tried not to let the unease settle in over her but it was too fast an emotion to fight off.

" Nothing to worry," his voice answered from the study. " Tomorrow will talk before I go to work, okay?"

She nodded automatically worry battling for control over the panic. " Okay." Her voice was calm in its' subtle tone, a complete contradiction to everything brewing behind the fine, translucent façade she carried.

It was way past seven and she didn't know why she was up there. After all that had happened this morning from the small accident and the possibilities of discovery that crawled from every corner of her mind, Elizabeth knew she should be in bed recovering or at least being somewhat productive and start packing for school.

She knew her parents would never go to the attic, they hadn't been there in years, but now that they were home, sleeping under the same roof of the man who had broken into their house, her nerves were wired. They plucked at her sanity and there was no chance of peace of mind as long as this man was in her house.

He was asleep like she had pictured he would be. His face, his features, as before, were disturbingly angelic and a bit devilish. His dark blonde hair was ruffled from fevered sleep, matted and tousled but for some reason it fit him.

Well, anything fit beautiful people.

A stray lock lay across his sweaty forehead. Sweat was a good sign. It meant the fever was going down, the pills were working. More rest, more medicine, and hopefully he would be back to himself in no time and out of her life.

Her hand, on its' own accord, separate from her straying consciousness, smoothed the small silk piece from his head. She sighed, knowing if he was ever fully awake she wouldn't dare be so bold. She almost laughed imaging his cold sour expression.

Her fingers brushed his eyebrow softly as they fell from his face and she moved to walk away when something warm wrapped around her wrist.

The reaction to scream screeched to a stop in her throat and she turned, guiltiness staining her blazing cheeks. " I- I was just…" she stammered, her gaze locked with his.

His cold blue eyes liquefied. He waited patiently.

" I, um. Well I couldn't sleep so I was just…I mean I was thinking…." She seethed out an exasperated breath. Her temper picking up a notch the longer he drew out his little game. " I was just checking on you okay," she barked defensively.

He lingered in his patient state, not revealing an inch of what was stirring below the surface.

" I wasn't trying to bother you. Go back to sleep." She moved but he held on to her wrist, gently but possessively. " Do you mind," she jerked at her captive arm but it didn't move a centimeter from his strong clasp.

" Thank you."

She paused." What?"

He glanced at small her wrist in his hand than back at her. His voice was naked in its' honestly, textured deep sincerity that Elizabeth was sure she was hallucinating. She never heard a human sound like that before. It made goose bumps stand up all over her body.

" Thank you."

He let go of her and with that a shaky breath escaped her trembling lips. She bit down on her molars, mad that she always tended to shake around this man. It was ridiculously juvenile and uncalled for considering technically he was her captive, but still it continued. Her body on its' own reacted and she couldn't stop it.

Both of their breaths picked up and neither rushed to say anything, neither rushed to look away.

Her cheeks picked up a warmth and oddly her head began to swim. " You're comfortable?" her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. It was sweet but thick like she had just caught a sudden case of laringitis.

" I'm okay." His whisper was hoarse and knotted in emotion she had never heard from him. " I'll be fine." He lowered his eyes to stare at her more directly. They were sharp but puzzled as they translated a message she didn't quite know how to interpret.

" If you need anything…"

He finally broke eye contact and sighed, closing his eyes. Elizabeth could have sworn that was the first breath he had taken since she came in here. " The floor…I remember."

She backed away not looking at anything but him. He grimaced. He told himself to stay where he was, don't encourage her, but he found himself returning her gaze anyway. It was easier and he was too weak to fight right now. For some reason he didn't want to. So he stared back and let himself look at her, take her in. She was extremely pretty for a kid.

" Good night," she finally said when the doorknob tapped her spine.

He waited for her to turn but she didn't and he had to make himself say it before she got the wrong idea. The wrong idea that was written all over her face. " Good Night."

He closed his eyes the minute she turned and his head fell back to the pillow behind him. He roughly wiped a hand over his face, looking back at the door and thinking about what was behind it. " Fuck."


	10. Chapter 10

_To him that you tell your secret you resign your liberty. Anonymous, Proverb_.

Elizabeth was surprised her box spring wasn't split in two with all the restless tossing and turning her body did during the night. Her body was at continuing war with her mind; wanting to drop in endless slumber, but her mind, scared and frenzied, had other plans.

She could tell from the weak impression of light cascading on the corner of her pillow that it was grossly early and she demanded herself to sleep, stubbornly keeping her eyes shut although her brain's activity was alert and ready for action.

She refused to be bullied. She would sleep until it was good and late. No one would be home. She had exactly two weeks before she had to leave for school and this was her chance at splurging in late summer laziness. She had every right after all.

Her eyeballs remained opened under her closed lids. A black screen surrounded her like sitting in a dark theater. She didn't know why it was his face that plastered itself in her dreams, maybe the hysteria of the situation caused him to seep inside some dusty corner of her mind, but now that she was awake, what excuse could chase away his image?

Thinking about the way he had looked at her last night, Elizabeth swallowed. Her neck strained on both sides, the palpable feeling drawing tight around her lungs. The physical connection between how she felt in that moment and now hadn't dwindled in strength. In fact, the more she played it over in her head, involuntarily, of course, the vibrance of that minute escalated.

His eyes latching on hers, the quality of how they turned and greeted her, stayed and studied. His light scrutiny turned darker, like a small lamp was turning off behind his blue orbs, casting a rich velvety hue over his gaze.

The effect it had, was having on her, was tremendously hard to suppress. The mere acknowledgment of last night's presence inside her unleashed a gripping burn through out her. She partially blamed him because she knew his every action had some hidden alterative motive.

He wanted something from her.

Pity was the second best motivation. Jason let the ice block of his heart melt for a moment to show his limited humane side, if only to appease Elizabeth. Settle her into thinking he was a decent man before she turned her back and he used the nearest possible weapon to exact the last step of his plan.

Elizabeth squeezed her eyes closed harder. How could she let his beauty indulge her senses for one slip of a second? How, when Tommy and the rest of her family were mere feet away from this criminal? They were in the direct path of danger and she had voluntarily permitted it. She didn't understand herself.

" Pumpkin?"

The soft sound was welcome in the small room. It was welcome anywhere that would lead her away from the nonsense that was getting carried away in her.

" Mmm?" her mouth was dry. She licked both of her lips several times before preparing for a more appropriate greeting. " Hey dad. Morning."

The indent of his weight on the mattress made her out of sorts semblance more lopsided. She braced her hand on the head corner of the bed, rubbing her eyes with the fingers of her other hand. " What's up?"

He was chuckling softly, apparently enjoying her sleepy and clumsy state. " Sorry to wake you. I wanted to talk before everyone else got up."

His countenance didn't portray the seriousness it held last night but that didn't stop her from sitting up straight in a hurry, crossing her legs Indian style, leaning forward in absorbed attention, waiting impatiently for the clouds in her mind to part.

" We've run into a bit of a problem, sweetie. One that might involve us moving."

" Moving?" The words didn't sound right against her tongue.

" For good."

Trying to stay up with his brick wall mindset, Elizabeth she was tripping over her words. " I don't understand." She moved to catch his eye but his profile was all he gave.

" Dad, what's going? What happened?"

" Nothing that we cant handle. Business, it's not going well. I've wanted to get out for a while but the only way I can leave and not be a connected to Mr. Corinthos' organization would be to leave the state. We could never come back, but our life would be fine-"

" Whoa, Dad. I…slow down. I don't understand anything you are saying right now. Why on earth would you want to leave the business? Isn't this job what saved us from bankruptcy? I mean when you lost your other job, Corinthos and Morgan are what you said saved you. That's what mom told us anyway." Elizabeth could hear herself becoming a bit emotional. She reigned it in and swallowed, breaking ties with the rush of sentiment.

" I've never heard you once complain about your job. You said Mr. Corinthos always treated everyone fairly, you made good money…"

" It's not that simple Elizabeth." He interrupted in a sharp tone. " There are things you don't know, wouldn't understand."

" Try me."

He leveled her with a disbelieving parental glare. " Be serious, Elizabeth."

" Fine, then you be. Leaving should not be an option. This is our home. We can't just pack up.."

" We will if we have to. We did it once and we can do it again."

" Yeah", the tears were behind her eyes, hidden, but she heard them in her throaty declaration. " And what did you promise? You promised me and Sam that you were never going to do that to us again. You would never uproot us like that."

" I meant it, but sometimes you have to break some promises to survive."

" Survive?" her voice screeched. He shushed her, placing his hand on her lap, but she pushed it aside. The glint in her eyes was shock. " What are saying? If we don't leave something's going to happen? What are you leaving out?"

" This business is dangerous. Even though I'm on the safe side doesn't mean there aren't chances I'm taking.

" You have never talked like this in the years you have worked-"

" You were a child, pumpkin." He washed his weary features with his aged hand. " Your mother and I didn't want to worry you and we still don't, but we don't have a choice anymore."

Refusing to fall apart, almost sick with how many times she teetered on the brink in the past twenty four hours, Elizabeth cleared her throat. " Are you saying we are a target or something?"

" No." Bruce Webber quickly interjected. " Far from it. It's just, sometimes the risk aren't worth it anymore. Before when it was the four of us, Mr. Corinthos' organization was much smaller and there wasn't as much publicity concerning his affairs so everything was pretty much low key. Just the way we accountants like it." He smiled but she didn't return the gesture.

" Now his business has tripled. His face is in the papers every other day. There is not as much assurance that his nefarious activities won't bleed onto the legitimate side of his work. I'm not willing to take that chance anymore. I'm tired, your mother doesn't want to deal with the headache of worry, and Tommy is still very young. We'd like some peace."

Shaking her head, stunned, Elizabeth waited, but his explanation proved to do just the opposite of soothing her worry. " I don't…I don't understand why we would have to leave. I mean I'm supposed to be going Denver in a few weeks. Are you telling me I can't now?"

He stood up, pacing the length of the room a few times before stopping in front of her door, staring at it. She continued to peer blankly at the wall in front of her.

" I don't know yet. Like I said this is a all a big _if_. I just want you and Sam to be prepared if we have to go last minute."

" And then what?"

" We will find some place to make a home. I know," he approached her hesitantly, kneeling at her side, cupping her knee through the blanket. " I know this is all sudden and you are real confused right now, but you need to trust me."

" Dad," she faced him, sniffling at the possibility of calling another place home but this.

" I trust you, but that has nothing to do with it. I just- I don't understand why'd we have to leave here, everything so suddenly like that. If there's something going on you need to tell me."

" Elizabeth Imogene Webber." He gripped her knee. " I am your father. I make the decisions and this is what is best for us. I don't need you to think about why or how, just do as I say. Trust me when I say that our family is safe. We always will be as long as I am here."

His words rang empty and hollow through her.

" Look at me," he sounded softer now, but the bit of edge that clung to the corners of his voice was all she heard. She obeyed and returned his stare. " I promise you that everything is fine and we will be okay. I just want you to remember that."

She didn't wait to think about her answer. " Okay."

" Good." He patted the waves of her dusty brown hair. " Go back to sleep."

" I'm not tired." She explained dryly. " Besides there's a lot to be done if we are going on the run."

He stopped from turning the knob. " We are not on the run." He pointed his finger in her direction. His defenses seemed so highly sensitive and peeked this morning. Elizabeth had never been witness to this mercurial side of her father. " Don't ever repeat such nonsense to your sister or your brother for that matter. Words like that will only get you in trouble young lady."

His command was a strict order accompanying and even more serious countenance. His grey eyes were like two hard marbles, his mouth a thin black line of nonsensical business.

" I was just kidding." She answered back unapologetically. She threw the covers off her.

" This is no laughing matter and I do not want this repeated to anyone. No friend, outside family members, not even Lulu."

She opened her mouth to argue but his face was set in such severity the words died against the unusual sight of father's angered look. Instead her temper flared. " I thought there was nothing to worry about Father."

His shoulders which were tensed released themselves of whatever was holding them hostage in their rigid stance. He scratched his forehead, not looking back at her, his face rising in something that didn't quite fit embarrassment. He fell back in his steps and was at the door.

" You don't have to worry. I am your father and that means I will take care of this. Just…be ready. Pack for school and pretend like this is your last two weeks here."

Pretend. Why did that action haunt her wherever she turned? And why was it becoming harder and harder to follow through when not a week ago it had been second nature to her.

" Maybe if you keep saying those words over and over," she said lowly, knowing he couldn't hear her, " you'll actually start believing it."

The walls were definitely closing in on him.

The four old walls, covered in what looked like twenty year old wallpaper, smelled stale and dusty. The dust was so thick it choked him whenever he had to breathe. He forced himself to take big long breaths, hold it for as long as he long as he could so he didn't have to intake the musty staleness too much.

Last nights rest hadn't been as bad as the night before. His fever broke somewhere along the night and with that the ache in his muscles subsided. The only thing left hurting was his side. It hurt in all different kinds of ways, burning, stabbing, and a dull throb that never made him forget it was there.

It had bled again during the night but not enough to wake her. Just a small drop would ooze now and then and since he was feeling better than he had since he got shot, Jason was sure the bleeding was harmless.

Besides, even if the wound needed another dressing, he wasn't about to bring her back up here.

It was actually much safer if she never came back up again.

Safer for her that was.

Jason chose all night to ignore his thoughts of her. She was a kid and she playing with fire. It wasn't her fault but she wasn't making it anymore easy by caring so much. The girl was going out of her way to make sure he was okay, paying too much attention for someone who technically was being forced to aid his recovery.

Something had changed in her eyes last night; something that made Jason far more uncomfortable than he would ever admit. She was sweet, too sweet, if she knew what was good for her. But the way she gaped at him, the way her eyes changed color from deep blue to brilliant sapphire, had somehow made her appear different. For the first time since she left last night, the visual of her standing in front of him, seized through him.

It was like she had changed before his eyes from a nice kid to a blooming woman.

Jason didn't know what he said or did to bring on such a metamorphosis. He had aroused her somehow. The situation, the element of danger, all played a significant part, but Jason had been wearing his kid gloves, keeping her at arms length the entire time. There was no spec of his behavior that could have encouraged this sort of response.

She was young, very young, he reminded himself. Crushes in these situations were bound to happen. In fact they were a near certainty as far as she was concerned. From what he could observe, Jason could sum her up pretty accurately. She probably was a home body, liked to take trips to the library, her favorite shows were on the History Channel, and he could almost guarantee she didn't use her weekend hours for boys or parties.

She was an innocent. Her trembling body told him so. She was always trembling around him. He wondered what that meant. Before he thought she was nervous, which was smart, but now, after he noticed her gaze darken, her cheeks pinked just as her breath picked up, the way her vanilla skin quivered in places only his eyes had touched, any man, even one delirious with fever, knew what a reaction like that meant.

A big part of him wanted to escape right now, as quickly as possible, leave before things got more muddled. Situations like this were why he hated staying in one place too long. Things, peoples, always piled complications upon complications, the messier the better.

Jason was a simple man who lived a simple, uncomplicated life and he liked it that way. Nothing and no one was going to change that ever. His life as he knew felt so far out of reach to him, he was itching to return to some normalcy. In fact, he was counting the minutes until he could release himself of this caged recovery.

Whatever instinctive male reaction, no matter how pure or enticing the temptation was, it would stay just where it was. He was man and it was an animal reflex to want to act on her stumbling discovery of arousal. He hadn't been with a woman for a few weeks, his curiosity peeked. It was only natural.

She would get on and get over it as soon as the day came when she opened that door and he would no longer here.

The door opened and closed quietly and fluidly in one motion. She was silent enough to be a ghost with the way she moved. Jason didn't turn to greet her. He was still lying, his eyes opened and gazing up at the window.

She didn't say anything as she bent beside him. She uncovered his wound, first swiping the blanket off then the shirt without asking permission, without making eye contact.

Something was off. He still didn't turn to look.

She removed the bloody bandage, dumping it in the small trash bag she brought with her. His stomach clenched, the muscles tightening under the feel of the stingy cool antiseptic. The topical antibiotic cream calmed his skin and before he knew it the new bandage was being taped over his side.

Jason heard her sniffle. The small sound was followed by smaller ones, covered by her wobbling hand. His eyes closed for a fraction of a second. " You okay?" He asked lightly, like it was something he had asked her a hundred times before.

She was throwing the rest of his bandaged garbage and paper towels in the same small garbage bag. His eyes had fixed on the wall, but he was picturing the way she looked. Her anguish was tangible with her sitting so close to him. Part of her pain rested on his shoulders. She was here because of him.

" What's going on?" He made himself take a quick glance.

His casual tone, against his will, bordered on insistent, but she chose to ignore him nevertheless. He saw as she almost invisibly swiped a tear from her cheek. She was wearing a Colorado State pullover sweater and too big sweat pants. Her hair was in a lose ponytail, curls popping out at all sides.

She looked very young and…Jason's head tilted, very vulnerable.

He pressed the flat open palm of hand onto his bad side and made himself sit up. She was already up and walking toward the door. Her hand was on the knob and the sight caused a protective nerve inside him to rise.

" What's wrong?" He hadn't meant to sound impatience. In fact it was the last thing he wanted to show, but he was annoyed with himself. He hesitated when she waited their frozen with her tiny fingers wrapped around the metal knob.

He licked his lips, unaccustomed to pleading to anyone for a response. He wouldn't ask again. So he waited instead, his eyes never leaving her back.

The minutes seemed to drag on like hours. Was this some sort of punishment for his prickly behavior? If she was playing some game with him she was in for a rude shock. A little girl like her could not handle the major leagues when they were swinging with a minor league batting average.

" I…I'm sorry."

He wasn't sure she had spoken. There had been silence for so long.

Her voice was husky with tears. " I, um, " she swallowed, " I'm not having a good day."

" There's nothing to apologize for."

She didn't know if it was intentional or not but his voice held such a soothing quality

to it, it almost broke her resolve altogether. She finally faced him, wiping the last of tears with it. "Yeah, well, I seem to be having a lot of them lately."

He nodded as if he understood perfectly which she was sure he didn't. " I know me being here isn't helping matters."

She stepped closer, not really paying attention to what she was saying or where she was going. Her face was clouded, drifting to another place. " This has nothing to do with you."

She kneeled at the foot of his bed, her face downcast. Her eyes traveled around the floor, searching the walls, caught in what she was dealing with. " Somehow I highly doubt that," he murmured, his concentration solely on her.

" It's not." She looked his way. Her words mildly convincing. " It's my family. It's just the way they are, the way they…"

She eyed him. " Sorry." She moved to get up. " I'm sure the last thing you want to hear is my voice, complaining."

" No." He sat up straighter as if he was going to stop her. He immediately regretted the unplanned action. His gut gripped as a hot jab of pain went through him. She came closer to his side, immediately, placing her hand over his, which was on his wound.

They looked at one another then at their joined hands .

She withdrew and backed a small unnoticeable step away. The concern in her voice didn't weaken " It hurts a lot, doesn't it?"

His jaw clamped down. The bone stretching out through the skin. " I'm fine."

" Would you tell me if you weren't?" she said, disbelieving.

The color in her eyes had crystallized, mixed in emotion and something he couldn't name.

" No," he smirked, his eyes glowing in response to hers.

Her gaze examined his pale face, his bloodless lips, the shallow peek of his cheeks. " Soups almost ready."

" I'm not hungry."

" But you're going to eat anyway."

His eyes lightened as he watched her mouth turn up in a small smile. " I don't have much of a choice, do I."

" No," she shook her head, wanting to read his face, but knowing she would probably never be able to. "You don't." She licked her bottom lip, her top teeth glided across the red flesh, dragging it through than letting it slip from its' grasp.

" You're good." His tone was distracted, his eyes on her mouth.

She looked around, sure she was missing something. " What?"

" Pretending, shutting people out so you don't have to talk about whatever's bothering you."

Her features retreated, her stare dimming from delight into clear defensive mode. " I wasn't …I'm not pretending. I just…you were in pain and I wanted to make sure.-"

" I wasn't, I'm not judging you." Jason talked over her, only slightly amused that he always managed to push the right buttons even when it was unintentional. " Just an observation."

" Well, you're not very good," she responded, cleary taking a self-protective stance if not for anything but preservations' sake.

" Really," he drawled as she squirmed under his gaze. " First I've heard."

" I'm sure," she gritted her teeth, agitated at his penetrating look. " But people are good liars. You should know that."

" It's my job to know who's lying and who's not."

" Part of your job description?" her brow corked up.

" Something like that." He stated simply.

She dusted her hands on her thighs, standing over him. " You'll never really understand someone, no matter how much you observe them."

Relieved that the subject of his work had been diverted, he played along, albeit, he was a bit intrigued by her words. " I've done pretty well so far. No complaints."

" Huh, maybe because they aren't there to complain. You sure as heck don't know much about people, woman specifically, if you're cocky enough to think you have them all figured out."

Her indignant stance had her nostrils flaring and her face coloring. It was wildly adorable.

However he was not about to argue about the sexes with her, especially considering her naïve background and his not so tainted past. Jason would be the first to admit his experience with woman was limited, outside the bedroom that is. Between four walls centering around bed, he never had trouble reading woman. Their body language told him everything he needed to know.

The problem was always the next morning; when both were up and he had nothing to say and they had too much.

Instead of letting her string him along her diverting path he went the opposite path.

" Does that mean you don't want to talk about it?"

She huffed, leaning her hand on her hip. " Talk about what?"

"What had you upset." Jason answered plainly, mystified a bit by the flaring air of supremacy she exhibited. " You were crying."

Her temper must have been spiking inwardly because her cheeks were rosier than usual. The rest of her face paled, cleared offended at his astute assessment of her. " People cry all the time."

" I guess, but why were you?"

" None of your business," she shot back.

He quietly surrendered. " Okay."

She didn't arrange to camouflage her anger even though his questions held no guile. Maybe that was what irritated her the most, the pure inquisitiveness behind his tone. It felt highly invasive.

He sounded disappointed but unaffected. She inched near the door than turned completely. She stopped short before she was even close enough to reach out and graze the wood.

" It doesn't matter anyway." She sounded like she was talking to herself. Her head was down, her chin tucked between her shoulders.

This time he didn't pause. He asked, without inhibition, his voice compelling in its' rough imperative nature. " Tell me."


	11. Chapter 11

**The Hiding Place –Part** **11**

_Silence is a text easy to misread. A.A. Attanasio _

The silence was deafening. Inescapably so, Jason wanted her to talk. He didn't care what subject just as long as he couldn't hear any of his thoughts. The situation that was developing between them was distracting and disturbing. He was helpless to change the progression of trust that was tentatively growing between them.

He wanted to make this worse, for her sake. Curse her out, push her away so she'd never come back, but that wasn't a viable option in his weak condition.

He hadn't planned on her. He was an in and out sort of man. Primed for surprises as much as he hated them, he knew they were an everyday part of life. The unexpectant was one of the main reasons he chose this line of work, he worked well with the unpredictability because there was a steady function underneath the chaos.

Jason glanced up from the bowl of soup for the first time since she had come back. She had left hastily and Jason figured that was that. She obviously didn't want to confide in him and he didn't blame her. Not that he cared when he reflected on the tangled circumstances. Her hesitance to trust him was no skin off his nose. Whether she poured out her hurts or feelings to him didn't matter, just as long as she eventually confided in someone.

Everyone needed someone, he summized, in the long run of life.

The girl was fidgeting again. She must have not realized she did it because it was always when neither of them said anything. He guessed her nerves were raw from playing the back and forth game, not that he could blame her. Her life had become a sea saw of emotions. Nothing about what was going on was normal. She had to give herself a break.

Still, before she had rushed and excused herself, she had appeared on the verge of telling him something. Just remembering brought back some of the irritation inside him. He was completely useless to himself right now and she was the only pleasant thing to fixate on.

His concentration skipped back to her just as her hand brushed over her covered knee. Her long pale fingers wrapped around the curved bone delicately and with careless appeal. She had piano fingers, pliable. They looked like they could wrap around any shape and form and cause a warm sense of comfort.

The abstract thought bulldozed through him, his body sending it's own involuntarily warming shudder through out his arms and legs, spreading into his stomach like a dull bellyache. The strange feelings made his skin flush and he gripped the bowl tighter.

" I don't get along with my family."

Her smooth voice washed over him, releasing the opposite effect, reprieving his body of the momentary insanity.

He didn't pretend to understand. Family was something he was never big on. Well, it was technically never something he was a part of.

He didn't nod, just waited, his head down but his guarded eyes on her.

The wheels in her head seemed to be turning this small confession over and over in her head. Her body and face were all faced straight in front of the room. He didn't know what she was waiting for, but he wasn't about to hold her hand. She had to find her own way to trust, he thought dimly, even though it was with the wrong person.

She blew out a long ragged sigh.

" I never quit felt like I fit in. I mean, I guess everyone feels like that at one point in their life." She shrugged her shoulders, her eyes lost in perplexity. " It's weird because I think I'm over it. I mean I'm old enough to know that my parents really do love me and everything they've done has been for me and my sister, it's just. I dunno…no matter what I do I always feel a step behind them for some reason."

" All of them?"

" Mostly. My dad and I have this bond, but it gets strained because of my mom. She's not the most nurturing of mothers. I mean she's great, but she and I, we just never connect. We never had. The only thing we ever can really talk about without getting into an argument is Tommy."

Her face was clouded in loss again. " Tommy?"

" Yeah," his voice jerked her from straying on another path. " My baby brother. He's great…he's kind of my, well, as sad as it sounds, my best friend."

" He's a kid?"

She nodded, glued in concentration to some invisible force. Jason could guess it was the past but with her he could never be sure. " He's two and half actually." The smile that blossomed from her mouth was big and unadulterated in pride. " He's the most beautiful little boy."

Jason snickered and that little sound broke the spell over her. " What?"

He shrugged. " Nothing. That's just what all people say about their own kid."

" Yeah I guess." She spoke a little self consciously. Jason saw a faint red shadow creep in over her cheeks. He bit down hard, not used to tasting his foot so much in such a small amount of time.

" You don't like kids I gather?" She asked, brushing the springing curls from the side of her face to behind her ear. Her sudden inquisitiveness was nicely placed from years of practice he gathered.

He placed the bowl between them. Waited a bit, swallowed, uneasy with the questions being turned on him. He also didn't like that he liked the way she blushed. He almost hoped it didn't fade from her cheeks, but part of him wanted it gone because it was a reminder of why it was there in the first place.

" I never thought much about it." He spoke apathetically, but plain in truth.

" I guess elementary ed wasn't your major in college then, " she mocked softly, shattering what he was planning on saying.

His answer slipped out, unconscious and soft. His gaze absorbed by her mouth. " Guess not."

She didn't notice. Her eyes never stayed in once place and in that minute he wanted her look at him. " I never had much use for school."

She seemed genuinely surprised by the absurd idea. " Really? I love school. Especially English. I mean all those great writers, their brilliant works and how they relate even now to our culture and time. Like Shakespeare, his idea of love and morality has surpassed the bounds of time and even the changing significance of love…"

Something must have caught her attention because she stopped automatically as if catching herself from doing something wrong. She brought her knees up to her chin, resting it there. " Sorry," she said sheepishly.

This was a first. Jason didn't know how to react to a woman. The flare of passion that caught in her cheeks and burned in her eyes was the first sign of life he had ever witnessed in her.

And over books no less. Jason wasn't exactly an illiterate, in fact, his teachers had said he had the brains to make honor roll, he just didn't have the motivation. The kind of rushes he got didn't come from paper. They were things he touched and felt, they ran with him when he edged passed death, razor blade thin odds- that was what made his insides jump.

" Actually, no, I'm not sorry."

Jason, folding one arm over his stomach, placed his hand over his wounded side. He watched her brain work and found it mildly entertaining that she was so easy to read sometimes and other times she was this pint-sized enigma.

" You think I'm a dork, don't you." Her tone wasn't accusatory, in fact it was said pleasantly if not for the assuming quality it held.

" Do you really care what I think?" He continued obliging his appraising nature.

" No." She nodded for strengthening reinforcement. He believed her either way. " I just…I know what guys like you think. You see a girl who likes book and you just assume you know..."

That perked up his vocal chords. " Guys like me?"

The amusement in his question scarped some of the cyncism rising up. " Yes, guys like you."

His eyes had the habit of squinting on their journey to understanding the something or someone they were studying, dissecting; that journey never appeared to have an end with her.

When she made no attempt to expound and just twitched her button nose up at him as it rose superiorly, the urge to climb over to her, erase the smug adorableness from her and replace it was something far more shocking almost overcame him. " You're a snub."

The small fire that had been lit before roared even though his words were said playfully if not a bit miffed by her insulting summation of him.

" Me? I didn't say anything."

" You didn't have to. It's written all your face."

" Admit what you were thinking and maybe I'll explain what I meant" Her slanted stare dared.

" Thinking…when?"

She huffed, the small hairs around her forehead stirred. " Don't play dumb. It doesn't suit you."

" Isn't that what you assumed I was." He hadn't realized he had been leaning more and more forward, near her.

" And what did you assume when I went on my little burst about English literature and Shakespeare?" Her left brow arched.

" I'd never seen someone talk that long and fast without losing their breath."

Jason couldn't stop himself from anticipating her reaction. The flush in her face was present and awakening. It spread an awareness over him, like the small pale fingers he was staring at before were gliding across his skin.

" I ramble."

" I noticed."

" My mother hates when I do that. Now I just don't even try anymore."

" Your mother sounds like a real peach," he replied flatly, annoyed her distraction had worked on him. What was this their original topic of conversation before?

" She's fine. I think I'm the one that's got something screwy going on. You should see her work. Whether she's at home, playing with Tommy, making dinner, cleaning, she's just perfect at everything. She never breaks stride, she never gets hysterical or breaks a dish. She doesn't have a clumsy bone in her body."

She laughed again but this time it was laced in bitterness. " And of course my sister is just like her. Beautiful, confident, the perfect combination of lady and woman. It's sickening."

" Why?"

" What you mean why?"

" Why do care they are like that?" His probing was genuine, but he saw her flinch and straigthen. He ignored the defiance he saw creep through her and asked. " Are you jealous?"

Her shoulders squared, the temperature between them dropped twenty degrees and she made no attempt to hide the defensive wall she quickly erected around her.

" Tonight, when everyone's sleeping I'll bring up a basin so you can wash yourself."

His voice bordered on insistence, raspy in its' taunt. "What? I hit a nerve."

" Was the soup enough?" She sat up looming over him, but the accompanying glint in his eyes along with hard displeased line of his mouth it might as well been him standing over her. She played coy, at least she hoped that's what she was giving off. " I'll be back in a couple of hours. If you can manage…"

" I might need help." He smirked, pleased when her nostrils flared out.

" We'll see." She walked away, knowing he hadn't broken his gaze from her.

" What are you hiding from?" He almost demanded, his tone flipping from light mocking to a severe order.

Elizabeth froze, it was slight but he saw her body become immobile, for a second. " Who said I'm hiding?" she whispered.

She turned to gaze back at him, her eyes foreign to his again. " Aren't you?" he asked out of breath. His chest rising and falling from a pressure he wasn't familiar to.

" And you're not?" she asked, fully turning to meet the impenetrable wall of his stare.

" No." He didn't have to think about that one.

Her eyes bore into his, doing their own bit of inspecting. " I don't believe you."

His look plummeted hers, making her step back. She leaned behind her into the wall. Her body liquefying under him. Her expression strained from keeping up with him. " You don't have to believe me," he whispered. " We all have things from our past we'd like to forget, but they're there no matter where you go. You can't run from who you are."

" Maybe not." She threaded her hands through her hair, the ponytail loosing, the hair falling out at the sides. " But you can learn and change. Grow from it. That's what I'm trying to do. That's not running away to me…it's making sure I don't make the same mistakes I did when I was younger."

" With you family?"

" Yeah." She admitted lowly. " Everyone."

"You're young. I'm sure you couldn't have wrecked your life that much."

" There's no age limit for regret." She answered dryly. She finally peered back in his directions, her eyes jumping between his. " You don't regret anything you've done ?"

His answer was on his tongue and out of mouth before he had chance to think it over.

" No," his gaze altered, the color transforming from a shadowy blue to diamonds.

" But I think I'm going to."

" Boss?"

Sonny dashed his signature at the end of the contract. He leafed through the pages at least a hundred times in the last hour, but for some reason that sense of peace that usually companied him when reading through contracts wasn't there. " What Ritchie?"

" Uh, Marco told me you wanted to see me when I got in from checking on Prozzi."

" Yeah, how'd that go?"

Ritchie walked his way into the dark burgundy penthouse. He was usually stationed outside and never got an opportunity to get a good look at his boss' living space. He made his way over to the dark wooded desk. It was polished and fancy, but undecorated.

" Prozzi stayed at the hotel. From what I've heard he wants nothing but peace. He's happy with the way you run things here. I don't think that's going to change boss."

" Did I ask for you opinion?" Sonny swept his hand over the stapled set of paper in front of him.

" Boss, I was…"

" When I want your input I'll ask." He gave his bodyguard a black look, scowling at the audacity of the young man beside him. " I asked what happened." Sonny gestured, his hand waving. " Not what you think I should do. Prozzi is my problem, not yours. You tell me where he's going, what he eats, where he sleeps. You worry about that. I take care of the rest."

" Okay boss." Ritchie spoke low. " Is that all?"

" Get the jet ready."

" Why?"

Sonny rose, meeting the young guards' bewildered expression. " Do I need a reason. Get the fucking jet now."

Ritchie backed away. Nodding instead of answering. Mr. Corinthos was obviously in no mood for company. He hated when he was like that. It seemed to be all the time now that Jason wasn't around.

Sonny's eyes stalked the young employee. Even after Ritchie had closed the door Sonny refused to look away. His temper was out of control. He was getting fucked from all sides and the last thing he wanted to hear was some young punk guards' opinion on his impending enemy.

He pressed the speed dial button on his phone, listened to the numbers beep in his ear. The haggardly voice on the other line cleared its' way through a cough before there was any greeting. " Hello?"

" Benny. I'm going out of town. I should be back tomorrow night the latest."

" Mr. Corinthos. I don't think that's a good idea, sir. We have negotiations with the Prozzis coming up."

" I don't care. I'm telling you to watch the warehouse while I'm gone. This is urgent."

" May I ask sir, what is so urgent that you need to leave so suddenly?"

Sonny smoothed his hand down his silk tie, played with the end. He licked his lips like an unsatisfied jungle animal, preying for a good hunt." I think it's time I paid Mr. Webber a visit."


	12. Chapter 12

_**I hope you guys are like this story. This is the first time Im posting my stuff here. I really hope you like it. My next chapter will be up probably Thursday the latest. Thanks for any replies. I really appreciate it. If you have any questions please feel free to email me**. _

_In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain. Pliny the Elder_

Mr. Webber jabbed his finger into the calculator. His fingers moved mechanically while his eyes ran through the list in front of him. " Expenses paid. Accountant number 19457,"

he mumbled under his breath.

To any passer byer or colleague for that matter, his state of mind was business as usual. Mr. Webber kept his nose in his books until six o'clock sharp, made his rounds of goodbyes quickly and without delay, and went home to work more. He didn't waste his time with office chitchat or complain about how unfair management was. He at least, hoped he appeared content with his job situation. The least amount of attention drawn to a particular person in the organization the better off and Bruce Webber lived by that rule.

" .4 carried over to…" The intercom buzzed on his phone, cutting his sentence off, but his concentration was securely on the numbers. It had to be or he would never get anything done. The second he let himself think about the horrendous situation unfolding around him and his family, he was useless to himself and to his job. So he just didn't let himself go there.

" Um, Mr. Webber?"

" Yes Betty?" He licked his forefinger and turned the next page of the thick stack of papers.

" Mr. Corinthos is here to see you."

His gray eyes jumped to the phone, sure he had heard her wrong. " I'm sorry?"

Betty cleared her throat. Her voice certainly didn't sound nervous, in fact she was responding on the edge of a giggle. " Mr. Sonny Corinthos. He's here to see you sir. Should I let him in?"

" Yes."

" Sir?"

Fear paralyzed his vocal chords from working. He massaged his throat and waved back the roll of nausea that threatened to undo his pristine façade. " Immediately. Yes, Betty."

Oh God. This was it.

The door opened and the dark crown of Mr. Corinthos' head leaned in the crack of the door.

" Let me know Betty. I know your husband likes them." He chuckled lowly and closed the door behind before straightening. His face had a good-natured glow to it and he sauntered forward, taking in the bland décor of his upstate accountant's office. His inspecting eyes scanned the beige furniture, the matching bookcase and chair, as if it really held an interest to him.

Eye contact hadn't been made yet and Bruce Webber was glad he had a few seconds to collect his rapid rising fears. It was like trying to catch a fly with chopsticks. They tumbled through his brain like a windstorm had been set free inside him. Confusion surfaced hard at the forefront of it all, but he played that card to his advantage.

" I wasn't expecting you Mr. Corinthos. I would have prepared some food or coffee."

" I wont be staying long." Sonny's voice trailed smoothly through the room, cutting the nervous aura down the middle but piling on the anxiety like weight on Bruce's shoulders. " I just wanted to see how you were doing."

The question was on his face before he had time to school it away.

" The burglary. I heard they did a number on your office. You okay?"

Sonny made his way over the small seat positioned in front of his employee's miniscule oak desk. A man like him didn't fit in a place like this. This was a small warehouse turned office. Things, merchandise, that was considered on the black marked, was moved in and out on a daily basis here. Illegal accountants, dummy corporations, were established and set up. People who worked in this building knew it was a requirement to get their hands dirty literally and figuratively the minute they stepped over the threshold.

Mr. Webber had no illusions that at one time Sonny Corinthos had been in similar shoes. He had earned his title, climbed his way to the top just like everybody else who fought for power in his business. But, as he washed his gaze over the middle age mobster, nothing about him really attributed itself to breaking ones back or pouring over numbers.

The manicured nails, the feathered back style of his hair, the expense of his taste and what he fashioned himself with spoke of a high maintenance prima donna, not a kid from the streets who battled his way to the top.

Bruce sat down, nodding his head appreciatively. The dark gaze is his employer waited, leaning back into the chair more comfortably. " I'm fine Mr. Corinthos. It was very thoughtful of you to show so much concern. It wasn't necessary to come all the way up here just…"

" What makes you think you're the reason I'm here in Port Charles," Sonny quietly cut through.

" I assumed…"

" Never assume, my friend." He interrupted for a second time. " That's a dangerous game you should never play."

Bruce swallowed. " Of course, sir." He busied his fingers, rolling the pencil in front of him against his sweaty palm. " Is there a specific matter you'd like to discuss?"

" How's your family?" He asked, glancing at the slanted silver frame on his right. He darted a look at Bruce and picked up the picture frame in between his hands, studying the photo closely.

" Fine." Bruce's answer was stiff along with the rest of his posture as he watched his boss. He didn't like the way he held it. It was one of his favorite pictures. It was all five of them around Carolyn after Tommy was born.

Sam was on one side and Elizabeth on the other, of course. He remembered Tommy wouldn't stop crying, his face was just one small blurry red dot of agony. Sam was posed. Her face ready and waiting for the camera. Carolyn hated the picture because she still had some baby fat left on her, but Bruce had somehow convinced her she looked fine. Her head was tilted slightly to the side, close to the baby, maternal and sheltering while prepared. Elizabeth was distracted. He remembered he had to keep telling her to stop watching the baby. He wanted the picture to be just right since it was the first of all five of them.

His Elizabeth had a huge unconscious smile on her face. No makeup, in fact, if he remembered correctly, she had just gotten up. Tommy was crying all night and Elizabeth had volunteered to help since Carolyn had barely gotten any sleep since the birth. It was one of the few things that propelled Elizabeth from being such a zombie. She seemed to come to life whenever Tommy was involved and Bruce was thankful for that.

" Beautiful family. I bet they've gotten big."

" Yeah," Bruce's voice was clogged with unsuspected emotion. He quickly cleared his throat. " That was taken a couple of years ago."

Sonny nodded, acting fully enthralled. His swept his thumb over the edge of the frame. Puckering his mouth in thought, his eyes never left the photograph. " Your daughters, wow…which one is which again? I always forget these things," he chortled sympathetically.

Bruce braced his hand on the edge of the desk. " Umm, Samantha is on my wife's left. Elizabeth, right."

" Elizabeth? She's going away to school?"

Sonny met his eyes and there was no mistaking the pure calculation arranged behind it.

" Yes. She's enrolled at CU this fall."

Sonny glanced down again. His eyes roamed over and seem to still on Elizabeth or maybe it was just the rapid paranoia taking over him. " Good. Good kid."

" Yes. Yeah she is. All my kids…I'm fortunate."

Sonny shook head leaning back as he placed the frame back exactly where it was. Crossing his leg over the other, he folded his tan hands over each other. " Don't take that for granted. Many do."

" Sir?" he attempted to mask his fear, but the wobble of his chin along with his question weren't working the way he had hoped.

Sonny shrugged, his posture unthreatening almost friendly, but his ebony eyes scorched a warning, blasting away the neat veil of cordiality. " Like I said, you seem to have a wonderful family. Healthy, happy. You've made a great life for yourself in Port Charles. It would be a shame if it didn't stay that way."

" Well, as long as you are happy with my work, than I'm happy, sir."

" Pleased enough Bruce." His next words might as well have had icicles hanging from them. " But things change. Sometimes without warning. If you were ever to do something that would upset me or my business, I would have to rethink your position in my outfit."

" Mr. Corinthos…I'm not sure what you are referring too…"

Those words stirred some of the anger weakly pressed back and Sonny's voice rose. " Elizabeth is a beautiful young woman. She has a great big future in front of her…it would be a shame if something happened…someone so young should never have to suffer in any way…"

Mr. Webber, hearing his daughter's name on Sonny's lips, coupled along with a threat, was intolerable. He stood straight up, his head on fire, anger and fear mixing to form a deadly combination of crazed panic.

Amused, Sonny saw all these thoughts and emotions race through his face, gallop and halt as he stood. His employee's impotence to protect his family only furthered to enrage him.

Mr. Webber flipped his work closed in front of him. " Would you like to take a look at the books?"

" No," Sonny rose, straightening the invisible creases in his blue suit. " I trust you."

Their eyes locked. Bruce shook his head. His teeth were rattling in his gums. " Is there anything else I can do for you during your stay here?"

" I'm flying back today. Just wanted to check in. Things look good. Benny gets the numbers on time each month. As long as he's happy, I'm happy."

" Good," he agreed, willing him to leave with every fiber or his being.

Sonny offered his hand and Bruce received it, hiding the revulsion when Sonny snickered at his shaking hand. " Mr. Corinthos, if there is anything I can do to be of service to you…"

Sonny found Mr. Webber's insincere gestures insufferable and failed to hold his tongue any further than necessary. " You'll be the first the know if I need anything from you. Mr. Webber."

Sonny Corinthos turned toward the door. " We'll be in touch." He met his eyes half way before he included, " Say hi to your family for me."

Dinner was peculiarly quiet. A deadened quiet that only broke when murmurs of thank yous and your welcomes invaded and slipped away. The tension was particularly thick this evening and Elizabeth had yet to guess why.

Her mother was a master at holding her tongue when she wanted to get her point across. Her measured silences were timed, long enough to make you squirm and short enough to make you create a good excuse. Elizabeth rechecked her day. She had done all her chores when she wasn't looking after…him.

She tried hard not to think of him at all, especially in her families' presence. She refused to let her mind wander because a little part of her opened and peeled away when thoughts of Jason collided with her daily routine and she knew they would notice. Her mother, especially, would see right through the thin mask of coldness and investigate her newborn emotion until she had an answer.

Carolyn Webber had an eye like a hawk and there was no amount meddling too pathetic that she wouldn't sink to find what she wanted.

" This family has to talk."

Her father's declaration sounded funny to her ears. She never heard him so serious. She dog -eared the page of her book and placed it beside her plate, already fixed and leaning in is direction.

Sam dropped the earphones from her ears and twisted them around her finger. " Is this going to take long? Jack is going to be here in like fifteen minutes."

" Samantha." He clipped angrily. " I don't like your tone."

The three women eyed each other, all wondering where this sudden irritation had come from since it wasn't the typical behavior of their father or husband.

Elizabeth took in the worried lines that shadowed her father's weary but red face. There was a battle going on within him and at the minute she wanted desperately to soothe and fix whatever it was the ailed him. She felt so in the dark about it all. Something had been wrong with him for weeks now. His schedule had been busier than usual, but there was a nervous edge to him that never escaped. It lingered and held on to him, sucking the life and joy from his body like a slow death.

Whatever it was she would help. They all would. That was a question she hoped he knew he didn't have to ask.

" I know I talked to Elizabeth about moving and Sam and I quickly discussed it. I wasn't sure if it was an avenue we'd have to take, but after today, unfortunately, it appears to be the only option we have."

Elizabeth waited, hoping he hadn't finished. There had to more, there had to be something else he could do or say. To just leave and without reason? It was ludicrous and she refused to accept this inevitability for her future.

Her mother continued to cut her baked potato, first in fours than eights. She mushed it down and placed some in front of Tommy. He sucked his thumb contently and reached with his other hand for something invisible in the air.

Elizabeth stared blankly with a mountain of incredulity hanging over her head. None of it made sense.

" Well, you can do whatever you want," Sam's stubborn streak finally picked up. " But I'm not going anywhere." Her cat eyes squinted at her father than darted at her mother, bouncing between them. " Port Charles is my home. I'm staying, but thanks for asking."

Mr. Webber wiped the corners of his mouth with the linen napkin in front of him. " We're not giving you a choice Samantha. You're coming whether you like it or not."

She pursued her lips and than staggered back into her chair, crossing her arms under her breasts. She made eye contact with Elizabeth, knowing her sister fully agreed with her but hadn't formed the words to argue yet. " Liz, tell them we aren't going. This isn't the time to play your silent cold act. I know you don't want to go either."

Elizabeth wiped the cover of her book over and over with her shaky hand. " I just, I don't understand any of this." Her nose was cold and her body was overheated from holding back the dam of adrenaline rushing forth. Now was not the time to break. She always held it together so well.

" Mom, why haven't you said anything?"

Carolyn brushed back the hair from eyes even though it wasn't really in her face. Her mouth was set straight and she gave her second daughter a compassionate smile before finally vocalizing her opinion on the matter. " Your father's right. It's the only choice we have. I know you girls love this place and it will always be home, but this is for the best. We wouldn't need to do this if it wasn't important. Trust us."

" No." Elizabeth breathed out. " I'm not going anywhere until you guys explain yourself."

" Elizabeth." Her father's voice was meant to placate but it only pushed the anger out faster. He placed his hand near hers, but she recoiled and met his eyes with hers.

" Tell us the truth. We're your children. If we're just going to pick up our lives and leave we deserve to know why. I'm not leaving this table until you give me a reason."

The wobble of her voice settled, but she was fuming from the inside out. There was no mistaking the angry flush of her face or the way her jaw clenched for some semblance of control over her emotions.

" I don't like your tone dear." Her mother politely reprimanded. Fascinated with her plate her eyes never placed themselves fully on hers. " Your father is not trying to upset you."

" Then answer the question." Elizabeth begged in a low aggravated voice. " Dad, please, why?"

" I can't. I told you it's the business. My sector is in trouble and we all have to haul out before the cops are on to us. New identities, new homes, new everything." His fisted the napkin in his hand, his knuckles whitening and popping as they squeezed.

" So what? We're going into some kind of witness protection program?" Sam squealed, hitting the table as tears cascaded down her tan cheeks, ruining her hour long makeup job.

" Something to that effect." He answered hollowly.

" You're in trouble. Aren't you?" Elizabeth's thick voice cut through. Unlike Sam she was still trying unsuccessfully to not let the tears fall. " Dad, maybe if you talk to the main accountant, Benny...whats his name. I mean you always told us that you were part of the legitimate side of Sonny Corinthos' business. Was that a lie?"

" No." There were tears in his eyes and Elizabeth felt like a heel for asking such a thing. " No, pumpkin, it wasn't lie. But cops, they don't care. They are investigating it all…if my name is connected in away to the Corinthos name or Morgan for that matter, I'm dead."

" Morgan?" Sam asked between sniffles.

" Silent partner." Elizabeth answered automatically. " Probably a financial backer with no real say. Perfect asset for Mr. Sonny Corinthos."

Her father's face turned gray. He gave his wife a questioning glare and than looked down at his second child. " How do you know who Morgan is?"

" Just a guess…I mean, I like to research." Elizabeth shrugged, guilt staining her cheeks even though that was about the extent of her knowledge on the ghostly partner. " Does it matter?"

" Has anyone approached you Elizabeth?"

" Approached?" She wriggled under his gray stare that had never been this uncomfortably hard to meet.

" Yes, any strange men calling here or following you at the store or something. Anything or anyone unusual?"

Sam wiped her cheeks, the mascara smudging further into her pores, making it look like soot. " Elizabeth never goes out anymore. How could anyone talk to her. She's a hermit."

" Samantha," her father lamely warned, his concentration solely on Elizabeth. " Answer me Elizabeth."

" No. No one. I swear."

" If anyone does…I want you to let me know immediately. You understand me?"

" Does it matter now if we're leaving?" She shot back in an acidic tone. " College is out the door, forget about our friends. Our whole lives have to change because of this stupid business. All our plans…" She raked her hands through her curls, staring down at her plate. " I don't believe this."

" I'm sorry. I really am girls, but this is for the best, believe me."

A car horn honked and Sam was out of her seat like it went on fire. " I'm done here. You all suck."

Her father's eyes closed. He pressed his fingers into his forehead.

Elizabeth couldn't look away from him, but her sympathy had run its' course. " She has a point."

Elizabeth got up, slapping her napkin on the table and grabbing her book in one swift angry blur.

" Elizabeth."

She stopped but refused to speak. She was feeling so many things at once she was afraid if she started talking she would never stop until everything inside her was emptied out.

" You have one week to pack."

" You okay?"

Jason's voice punctured her black reverie of the future. She had been pacing the length of the attic for a total of twenty minutes. He didn't have a watch, but the dim cast of the sun was weakening and with little to do it was easy to concentrate on the length of time when you paid attention.

" Fine," she mumbled, distracted. " I need to paint."

" So paint."

" I cant," she sighed exasperated, plopping in the middle of the floor. " You're here."

" So?"

" So… I can't paint with you here, looking at me. The whole point is to, well, ….you know what? Forget it. It just helps and I can't be who I want to be when you're here watching me."

" I wont."

She gave him a weary, watery glare.

" I'll try…" His eyes smiled, but his mouth was set in concern… " not to."

She covered her face with her hands, gripping the loose curls. She muttered, " I'm sure that wont be hard."

" What?"

" Nothing." She quickly recovered.

" Something's wrong." He stated blandly, his eyes cutting through hers. " What?"

" I want you to be honest with me."

Those words triggered something and all the concern that flooded him backed away, reshaping his face into living stone again. His eyes swirled, speckled and hard like marbles. He resigned to staring out the window.

She had upset him and literally stomped on the last eggshell she was walking on when it came to their fragile friendship, but instead of being bothered by this it just made her all the more determined. His evasive reserve always rose when questions were involved. That meant he was hiding something.

" Why were you here that night?"

Silence.

" Is there a reason you broke into my house? Where you after something? Or was it personal?

More silence followed.

" Who shot you? Where? Why?" She stood up and stalked over to him. The less he spoke the more her aggravation grew and burned her up. All her nerves were winding down, her body pleaded from exhaustion to drop, and her skin itched for sunlight. She couldn't remember the last time she went out and experienced warmth on her. The air conditioning stretched her skin, froze it in place.

" Answer me. NOW." She whispered fiercely. He didn't appear to have heard her. She could have thrown her last finished canvas at his head and he probably wouldn't have moved.

" I want you out of here unless you answer some of my goddamn questions."

He bent, holding his side, than stood, slowly at first. He was in front of her, his full height dwarfing her and her rage. His jaw ticked under a thin control and she knew one word from her could split it two like tissue paper.

" I'll leave." His husky baritone shattered the quiet.

His cement resolve kicked her off her rocker. He dragged his body near the door, his feet shuffling against the old wood. It was sick sound and it made her stomach roll to picture him trying to make it two steps out the door.

Her eyes clouded as water filled and her vision became compromised. " Please, just…" she swallowed, " Just tell me the truth. I don't want you to be hurt."

Jason stiffened. Something about the way she spoke, her voice, immobilized him. His anger waned and he heard her heavy teary breaths as if she were breathing right in his ear. He faced her, leaning to his side. Her head was down, but he saw the tears, big and fat drop one by one.

" I cant."

She slouched forward. Her hair covering her anguish, but it was clear as day, ringing in his ears, enveloping his senses, breaking through his atmosphere. He was so unaware, unprepared for the things he felt when he was around her.

" I can't answer your questions," he whispered sternly as he came closer. " The only thing I can promise you is I wont hurt you."

She hadn't realized how close he was until she wiped her cheeks and braved herself for his harsh, glacial expression only to find him towering over her and his eyes soft like two blue raindrops.

A tear from nowhere slid, but she wasn't crying anymore. Her sigh vibrated between them like a soft measure on the piano. He took one sure step closer, the small distance between them evaporating from the thick space of his body.

His eyes danced between her eyes and her mouth. " I promise."

His thumb nudged her chin up, forcing her to take in the full impact of him on her. " You promise?" she was lost in her own emotion. Her nose scrunched and her lips swollen from crying wobbled. He inched the pad of his thumb higher, watching himself to it.

" I wont hurt you. Believe that." he breathed out against her forehead.

" I don't," she gulped as her body swayed on its' own accord toward his. " I don't believe anything anymore."

Something was dragging him under. He didn't know if it was her eyes or the way her mouth moved and trembled each time his skin passed over hers, but he didn't like it. He couldn't stop it either. " Trust me."

The warm palm of his hand burned her neck as it wrapped around her and took hold. She blinked, her mind scrambling as a dizzy heat started in her stomach and leaked through her. She didn't know how she hadn't collapsed by now. " I don't…I cant."

His nose touched hers. He wasn't sure if it was an accident, but the second time he did it wasn't. The sharp tip bumped her rounded cold one, than grazed the side as his shadow eclipsed half her face. " Everyone's got to trust someone."

He didn't even know what he was saying. The dragging continued, like a strong undertoe, carrying him out into the unpredictable, the unknown. Mesmerized, he knew he was being sucked in. His eyes brightened as they took in her lips and the pink tint that blossomed.

" Why?

His eyes closed as a rush of her breath stroked his skin. " What?" he growled.

" Why do you want me to trust you?"

His breaths came out shorter and anxious, bursting against her lips, making her lick the flesh there where he had accidentally touched. His mouth edged closer, a secret away from hers, an eyelash's length of an eternity. His brow crinkled in confusion, already lost to the fight of control. He was a drowning man in no search of a life preserver.

" I don't…I don't know." He stuttered, transfixed. " I just need you to."

" Trust you?" she shook out.

" Yes," his urgent voice tidal waved over hers. His nose embedded itself in her cashmere soft cheek and he inhaled her.

She stammered his name as he leaned his top lip against hers." Jason." Their breaths mingled together, lost in confusion, surfacing in newfound awareness; as their foreheads, along with other parts of them, touched, flesh to flesh.

Jason licked his lips, nipping her lower lip with his tongue along the way. His lips parted as his eyes devoured her face, frightened by the amount of hunger that engulfed him. When his upper lip skimmed over hers his skin jolted.

" Elizabeth?" Her father knocked on the attic door. The doorknob jiggled. "Elizabeth, are you in there?"


	13. Chapter 13

_How helpless we are, like netted birds, when we are caught by desire. Belva Plain_

The sound of their breathing, mingled and at a furious pace, pulsed between their faces. The knock, at first, a distant hum…then grew louder.

The fog slowly lifted like a lazy curtain and Jason was the first to react and tense around her.

His frame was still very much pressed into hers. His hands were all over her, his fingers wildly frantic and desperate as they clung at the edges of her jaw line than swept her hair away from her shoulders only to regrip the sides of her face. His eyes fought for something, Elizabeth couldn't decipher what, but it looked very much like control.

He pulled back slowly, his mouth slowly breaking from hers where they had touched. Her upper lip stuck to his for a second before letting go on its' own.

Elizabeth fought to say something, anything to explain herself and the cold embarrassment that suddenly overtook her. " I…I didn't mean…"

" Sshh." The long lean side of his index finger pressed into the center of her lips to silence her.

The door knocked again and Jason, his eyes never leaving her face, slid away from her. The regretful hesitance that he fixed on her told her he was already sorry and yet there was no mistaking the dark hint of an ache that shadowed every feature.

Her sluggish mind, fevered from its' present effects, sputtered off helplessly working at a snails pace. Her mind, her body, was otherwise entangled in Jason's presence and no matter of knocking, as weighty as it was, could jump start her.

Thank God Jason was quicker. His warmth, his building shadow, was one second looming over her, bearing all, permeating her senses, and the next he was gone, hiding somewhere. Elizabeth couldn't begin to guess where since there were no adequate spots that she remembered as a child.

The fourth knock, heavy with impatience, catapulted her body forward. Unfortunately her thoughts were not as quick to catch up, frenzied and in heat like the Sahara and gone and settled itself inside her skin, baking away in all it's dry loneliness.

Before her mind could wonder why such feelings were arrowing through her, the door was opened and shut behind her. Her father was speaking in a meek tone that so embodied him and Elizabeth almost forget how upset she was with him and the dire situation that was unavoidably her fate.

He was rambling and she was coaxing herself to seek concentration of any kind. She had come so far without giving herself away. Having a man, a flesh and blood fallen angel of sorts, almost, decidedly, kiss her, shouldn't wipe her senses completely from her brain. No matter how inescapably beautiful he was.

Unconsciously her fingers brushed her lips and stayed.

" Elizabeth? Are you alright?"

She muttered with an automatic dullness, " Fine."

" I know you are mad. You have every right to be pumpkin, but you have to know this is for the best."

" Best? I doubt it." Elizabeth curbed her tongue from further divulgation. Her father, after all, appeared truly sorry. His gray eyes, cold wet rags of repentance along with the weary texture of his skin, weathered and beaten in contemplation, spoke so.

The fatherly gesture of comfort came next. He stroked her arm, lacing his hand through her rebellious curls, traveling down in thought and stopping all to warm the crook of her elbow in sought out comfort. Everything her father did was done with well intentions, but that didn't still the continuing sense of injustice that plagued her.

Her blood boiled underneath her refined exterior and as usual her father noticed nothing but what he wanted to see.

" I still want to go to college."

He turned his head away from her, wondering. Was her statement so hard to conceive? More frightening, was their condition so perilous that even college was a furlong forgotten wish?

" We'll see, once we have settled."

" And exactly where is that?" Her head tilted to catch him when he spoke.

" Anywhere." He seemed happy at the thought. His eyes shining like two new pennies. His happiness always easily transferred to hers, but in that moment, sadness, unforgiving and cold, fell over her. " We'll decide once we are on the road. Maybe we'll make a game of it. Majority rules…you can draw up the states and Sam can pick the most appealing and from there me and your mother will choose."

Her breathing staggered, her anger swallowing her whole. " It's not fair," she blew out.

" Life isn't fair."

" You and mom have lived your lives. College was the one thing I wanted. The one thing I had to look forward to. How could you take it away from me? This is finally something I'm choosing for myself, something I want more anything. Please, Dad."

Her nails clutched at his wrist, digging in his skin. She never experienced such desperation but when everything, when her true happiness was coming at her so close, she could almost feel the freedom, taste it on her tongue, Elizabeth didn't care how foolish or low she would have to sink to. " I worked all summer to get enough money for room and board. I took care of Tommy instead of going out..."

" You volunteered to do that," he countered back.

" Yes, I did. I wanted to. I love Tommy, but I'm just trying to say…" her hands gripped her sides, " I did everything always your way. It's always been me following your rules and I've never disobeyed once, Dad. I did it because this is your house and I respect that. I would never go against that, but this one time, please, I want to do what I want. This," her cold hand fell over her beating chest, " this is what I want."

His face torn, battled for explanation, for reason.

" Dad, don't…" she stuttered, feeling a little light headed like she was on the brink of a cliff about to be shoved off, " don't deny me this."

His weighed sighs sunk between them like stones falling in a well, bottomless and lost. " I cant. It's not up to me, pumpkin."

The final words stabbed at her like a betrayal. " I see." She pressed her hands together in front of her, dutiful, her smile stiffly amicable. The tears beneath her eyes tainted the pristine illusion, but her father chose stubbornly to ignore it and smiled back, pleased.

" Whatever Dad. You do what you have to and I'll do what I have to as well."

His wool slippers had hit the fourth stair and stopped. " Elizabeth."

Elizabeth hadn't begun to move from her place. She was quite too enraged to even know where to take her next step. " Mmm?"

" What were you doing in there? I knocked a hundred times practically."

Twenty different lies sprung forth, but they vanished in her throat when her eyes placed themselves on him and realized it would be the first real lie she would ever tell father to his face.

" Is painting really that therapeutic for you?"

The word caught between them and her stance froze over.

Mr. Webber noticed immediately and did his best to repair the damage in his nervous state. " I mean… you seem to enjoy it. You spend so much time up there. I'm glad something makes you happy."

Elizabeth could only nod, her fear of crying in front of any human form made her pride take precedence over mending any connection, especially now, between her and her father.

He thought about saying more, staring off at the wall beside him than turned reluctantly just as she did toward the attic door.

Her hand was on the knob, holding it but not turning it. She was afraid to go in there and what to expect or what not to.

" Elizabeth, Lucky Spenser called while you were painting. He said to call back and as soon as you could. He said it was urgent."

8

Her name, his eyes closed without thought, was Elizabeth.

A thousand avenues of what ifs' ran a marathon through him; all of them more horrible than the next. How could he be so weak. So easily lead on. The girl wasn't that pleasant to look at and yet, even now, apart from her, just her name, knocked every sense inside him on its' back.

Unconsciously he found his fingers stilled on his lips and he immediately frowned, wiping the flesh roughly and loathingly.

He rubbed his hand through his mangled hair in a swift sweep of anger. He was stronger than this. Stronger than the trap that attraction laid waiting for him. He was sensible enough a man to know that this was beyond ridiculous.

He didn't need to consider the outcome or weigh the possibilities. He was glad they were decided for him and ready. Now all that was left was the girl and how he was going to handle her.

Handle Elizabeth.

His small error, slip, with her was definitely tumbling through her. God, he needed to get out of here as soon as it didn't hurt so painfully to walk. Maybe another day or two the most. This was becoming a messy inconvenience. Messy never entered his strategic thinking; it wasn't something he tolerated even personally. A clean cut, a sharp blunt answer, always got the job done, nice and neatly.

Presently, he was so tangled up inside, he was beginning not to trust his own instincts. How could he let this mere wisp of a woman, not even a woman, distract him from his plan. Did he have no strength of character that he couldn't resist sapphire eyes and pink rosy lips. No matter how alluring the color, it maddened him to think of himself so weak. And if he was weak it was because of the unconventional circumstances and nothing more.

The door creaked and shut on a small thud.

His body, which was leaning heavily on support of the center beam, straightened. A fuzzy sensation heightened his already peaked senses, blurring all sounds and images around him. It was a funny feeling that feathered across and over his skin like silken leaves were being brushed languidly over him. Thoroughly so.

Jason had hoped the thick awareness between them would now all but subside since the small moment had almost ripened into fruition, but his hopes were wasted. He didn't have to turn to know she was there alone…in the room with him.

He turned and sought for her, finding her quickly in the shadows of evening light. Her posture reveled in hopelessness. Her face, her eyes, fixed on the window. Despair was present in her blank eyes, filmed over, not particularly taking anything in.

She didn't even seem to realize he had come to stand next to her. Although he made sure to stay a good foot away.

" I love the nighttime, don't you?"

She had been crying. He could tell easily by the tears that hadn't been wiped on her cheeks. Her voice also had an aching hoarseness to it. He didn't answer, didn't think she really wanted one since she looked like she was cocooned in her own thoughts.

" I usually come up here at night." She moved closer to the window. " It's so much more peaceful and the sky," she breathed out, " The sky looks like a painting come to life. It's so overwhelming, nature. You think your problems are so huge, no one can understand and then you come up here and look out the window and it all just seems so irrelevant."

She hung her head for a second and Jason fought the urge to move closer. She stilled, dried her cheeks unceremoniously, wiping the emotional residue on her sweatpants.

" If I could I would leave and never come back. If I had one wish…" she trailed off.

" Where would you go?" he heard himself say.

" Nowhere. Everywhere. You know I've never been outside of Port Charles except when I was young, we lived in the city, but this is the only place I've ever know. Isn't that pathetic?" She turned toward him, searching him, waiting for him to agree. He just stared at her, for some reason recalling her name and how it fit her so beautifully.

" I bet you've been lots of places."

He didn't smirk, but he didn't frown either. Some vague emotion passed through him unaware and Elizabeth without warning caught her gaze from dropping on his mouth…at how warm and smooth the ridge of his upper lip felt like against hers. The memory was instant and tangibly shocking that her balance swayed back against her heels. Embarrassed enough for one night, she forced her head to turn back away from exposing her shaken and new found arousal.

He breathed out a sigh, it reeked of frustration. " I've been…places. I like to travel," he said simply.

" Me too." She agreed easily. " I just haven't started yet."

Her candid return made him impatient for solace. He wanted to rid himself of her and her unpredictability. It brought out the very worst of him without his knowledge or strength to stop it.

" I don't know where I'd like to go first…that's a hard one. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?"

" Right now a flea infested motel would be a step up," he blurted out shortly.

Before she could subside her cresting emotions, a wall of tears gathered over her eyes the instance the sharpness of his voice reached her. " Oh," she sniffled then rubbed her nose roughly with the back of her hand.

Feeling foolish and stripped bare in front of him Elizabeth did her best under the circumstances of his cold blue gaze to compose herself. Her unkempt ponytail and sloppy dress made her feel girlish and juvenile compared to his rugged beauty.

" I'm sorry about before…"

If possible his glare froze over dead, like an abandoned pond in winter. " Listen, I really think …"

" I shouldn't have told you to leave." Her fingers clasped the oversized arms of her sweat shirt and she crossed her arms under her breast. It looked to Jason like she was trying hard to protect herself from something. " I had an argument with my parents and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have…I mean, it wont happen again." She nodded in emphasis, her voice dry but overwhelmed. " You can stay as long as you like. I know you're still in pain. I don't want you to think…"

" It shouldn't be much longer." His voiced interceded, afraid she would say something that would stick between them and unfurl the tension that seemed to enter and conquer them without warning. " Its' good if I'm gone as soon as possible."

" Yes," she agreed mechanically, " Good."

" I'm tired." His eyes helplessly traveled over her.

" Yeah me too," the rigid clasp of her voice shuttered Jason off from further evaluation. She suddenly looked antsy as if she couldn't wait to leave his presence. " Get some sleep."

She was closing the door, her stark pale hand his last reminder of her, when he found his voice. " You too."

8

" Hello? Night of the living dead?"

" Huh, wha?"

" Elizabeth." Lulu pinched her friend's elbow next to her. The sun was shining, the park wasn't crowded with obnoxious children, and they both had the whole day off. Elizabeth, especially, should be estactic, considering she never got time to herself. Jubilance should be streaking across her face. They should be at Kellys getting double brownie sundaes and watching really cheesy movies so they could make fun of all the contrived melodrama. But, unfortunately, her friend, or what was left of her, was acting like a barely breathing corpse.

" What the hell is wrong with you?" Lulu snapped, taking in the abnormal pallor of her skin, the red circles around her eyes specifically under, and the shake of her body that hadn't dwindled a fraction since they sat down.

" I'm just," Elizabeth exhaled slowly as if it took all the strength inside her to carry out a function that was involuntarily, " overly tired. I haven't gotten much sleep. I'm sorry Lu."

Lulu glared, observing her form as a whole and not hiding the fact that she didn't like what she saw. " It's more that that. What's going on?"

" I'm sorry," Elizabeth finally turned and made eye contact with her young friend. " I know I never called you back. I've just…its been a trying few days. I should have called. I hope you didn't think…"

"Elizabeth," Lulu's warm palm cupped Elizabeth's knee. " What's wrong?" Anxiousness crept through her voice. " I've never seen you like this…is it your family again? Did something happen?"

Something. Yeah a big something. Elizabeth didn't know how to verbalize what was going on within the walls of her body. She wanted so badly to let it all out, but this was bigger than her, bigger than what she was feeling. Her stomach was doing somersaults. Her head felt like it was fire. One minute she wanted to burst out crying and the next she was walking on clouds.

" It's been rough. Getting ready for school, making sure I have everything."

"And I'm sure your parents are being as supportive as they usually are." Lulu didn't hide her disgust. She'd never comprehend the way they treated Elizabeth sometimes. Even her father who was a decent man…never seemed to have the time to really get to know his own daughter.

" Yeah," she agreed with a gravelly voice. " Lucky called me. He said it was urgent."

Lulu watched as the far off look in her eyes vanished and sharpened. She nodded not understanding to this day why her best friend had such dislike for her older brother.

" What did he want?"

Lulu shrugged. " How should I know. Why didn't you call him back?"

Elizabeth answered her with a sideways knowing look.

" Oh come on. Maybe he just wants to get reacquainted before you leave for good."

" No offense Lu, but Lucky doesn't do anything without a motive behind it. Plain and simple."

" I don't get it," Lulu admitted, her anger sparking a notch. " What did my brother ever do to you to make you hate him so much?"

" I don't hate him." Elizabeth quickly amended. She faced fully in front of Lulu, staring at her head on so no misunderstandings were possible. " I don't trust him."

" There was a time you almost did. I remember, tenth grade you guys got really close. I was sooo jealous," Lulu softly confessed, laughing as she reflected on her childishness.

" We weren't," Elizabeth's head tilted, catching Lulu's bowed head. " Not even close. He had a crush on me and he showed it in a very obvious way. I slipped for a second, thought I could trust him, and he…he ended up being everything I thought he was."

" He lied to you?" she asked simply with no agenda.

" Something like that. It doesn't matter anymore." Elizabeth's hand came and sat over her small freckled friends'. " I don't care. Lucky, he doesn't mean anything and what he did doesn't bother me. I'm over it."

" Really? Because from where I'm standing it doesn't look like you are." Her hand latched and squeezed the flesh over hers.

" It's just hard…once you break that trust…its hard to get it back. With anyone."

Lulu smiled softly in agreement. " I know you don't trust people easily. And I know it's a rare thing to find someone you can blindly be yourself with…but I believe you will. Someday."

Elizabeth huffed out a string of defeated air. Her head bent away, then around, taking in the vast and beautiful summer atmosphere. Her hand was still clasped over Lulus'.

" You think you can trust someone you barely know?"

Lulu wasn't sure she was asking a question. She waited and Elizabeth appeared transfixed in peace, but there was a disturbance behind her eyes, one that rumbled in confusion. " It's depends I guess," she whispered, occupied by the way her friend's odd behavior seemed to fade in and out. " Why?"

" Do you think it's foolish? To trust someone you don't know. Someone that makes you nervous but at the same time brings out everything inside that you've been waiting forever to release. I mean it sounds so crazy, I know. But maybe, maybe it's possible to feel completely comfortable and on edge with someone at the same time. I dunno…I never thought…"

Waiting, Lulu hunched closer. When Elizabeth didn't continue her unconscious monologue she guessed this was more specific than hypothetical. " Okay. Who is he?"

Elizabeth's head whipped around." He who?"

" The guy…the guy you're so obviously crushing on. Hello macfly."

" Lulu, don't be silly." The red shade that pierced her cheeks affirmed her friend's suspicions.

" Oh my god. Who is he. Who? Did you meet someone at the party? I know nobody new moved in town. Don't tell me you are thinking about that weird young lawyer guy who always flirts with you when you guys bump into each other. He seems a little shady in my opinion-"

" Lulu, please."

There was no denying it. Now it made sense. Now Lulu understood why she looked like hell, why her eyes held a distance to them She was so busted.

" Come on. I'm practically blood. If you cant tell me…" She leaned her head against Elizabeth's shoulder, pouting out her lower lip for dramatic effect.

" There's no one. Give me a break. The only man in my life is Tommy. That's about all I have time to see."

" You're lying."

" You need a life my friend. Or a boyfriend of your own so you can get your nose out of my business."

" Please, none of the mail species around here deserves me. It would be a dishonor as a Spenser to downshift to one of these inbred hillbillies. God you're so lucky. You are getting out of here. You get to go out and discover…meet new people. I am so beyond jealous. In a good way of course. You deserve to leave this flea circus more than anyone. I just wish you could take me with you."

Elizabeth's brow corked up.

" That was a joke."

But it wasn't. Elizabeth wished she could take her friend with her. Her one and only friend who actually got her, who understood and didn't judge. Everything that was waiting in front of her was so permeant and out of focus. How could she trust anything when her life had become a slippery slope and she was running eighty miles per hour?

It all started with him. Jason. His presence had barreled into her life without warning and now her every part of her being was topsy turvy. She had to gain control of herself and it started now. She wasn't going to let one person destroy the strength and independence that had taken Elizabeth years to build up.

" No matter what" she turned quickly, catching Lulu off guard, " You know I love you right?"

" Liz," she smiled, perturbed again but her sudden shift in emotion. " You were never the dramatic type. That's Sam style please."

" Just remember that okay?" That troubling look ran through her again. " I have to go. I'll call you a few days."

She let go of Lulu's hand and walked hastily away without looking back. Something was definitely wrong and if her brother had anything to do with it Lulu was going to have to kick some ass.

8

" Lucky."

" Elizabeth," his mumbled voice reeked off slumber through the cell phone.

" What? Did I catch you at nap time?," she wryly shot out. " Why did you call me?"

The no nonsense of her voice made Lucky smirk into the receiver. " Remember that favor I did for you not to long ago?"

Elizabeth back stiffened. " What about it?" she queried coolly.

" Pay up."

" Excuse me?" She couldn't help but sound insulted with his cavalier tone. Her and Lucky hadn't spoken or been remotely friendly for years and his eagerness to reacquaint only solidified her suspicions not to trust him.

" I helped you out and now I figure you owe."

" I don't owe you anything Lucky. You helped me. My gratefulness should be enough considering how much of shithead you are."

" Wow, someone holds grudges for along time." He chuckled into the phone, not at all discouraged by her apparent revulsion towards him.

Elizabeth's eyes prickled in anger. Her hands balled into fists at her sides, reminding herself to stay unaffected by his callous version of the past. " When it counts yes, I do." She replied through closed teeth. " Listen I don't have time for this…"

" Okay fine. I guess you won't mind me telling dear old dad what you were doing in the store so early that morning, asking for antibiotics and medicine you didn't even have prescriptions for…"

" Lucky." Her nostrils pinched together, a flare of nervous heat flying across her skin.

" What?" he smugly answered. " If there's nothing to hide?"

" Enough with the games. What do you want?" she spit out.

He smiled dreamily, pleasure coursing through his features, knowing she was caught and about to give in to him. " You and me…on a date."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hope you guys are liking this. Thanks for the responses. I love them!**

_And since you know you cannot see yourself, so well as by reflection, I, your glass,will modestly discover to yourself, that of yourself which you yet know not of. _**_William Shakespeare_**

Elizabeth wasn't quite sure how Lucky had convinced her to see him. She remembered adamantly insisting that it was not a date. The word _date_ would never be used to define any meeting between them, forced or not.

Miserably seated opposite him in a wooden stool at Tony's Pizza Palace Elizabeth slumped forward, pressing her weight into her elbows as they leaned heavily on the small rounded table. Hiding a criminal in her own house, being blackmailed to diner and leaving home with no chance for goodbyes, all of it was crumbling down on her shoulders like a rockslide. Her emotions were an overflowing damn about to burst from the weight of her sorrows.

And the one person she wanted to talk to about it didn't want to hear it. He was the one who started all this. She was sure of it. If Jason hadn't come into her life she was positive her outlook wouldn't be so grim or muddled. She hated Port Charles and the less than handful of residents she did like never held enough compulsion to make her want to stay.

College was going to be her great escape, her new beginning. She had planned every course, ever turn. What classes she would take, what hall she preferred rooming in. Colorado was beautiful in the winter and gorgeously crisp and clean in the spring. It was far away to start over and excuse weekend visits home but close enough to drop in when she felt her absence had grown to long.

Now, in the blink of an eye, her whole future had been wiped clean. Now, she wasn't sure what she wanted. She wasn't sure if she could trust herself after letting her guard down with an absolute stranger.

" No wonder you aren't asked out a lot. You're about as fun as a root canal."

Elizabeth eyed the flopping piece of baked mozzarella that hung from Lucky's lip.

" Maybe I'm not inspired by my present company."

" Funny," he wiped his mouth missing the piece of encrusted foot completely. "There was a time when I could draw you out of your usual mopey self. I'd like to try again."

Rage had a funny way of creeping up on you. For a powerful emotion it found Elizabeth in the most secretive of ways and surprised her setting itself inside her like a pot of water. The fire hot underneath, but showing no evidence of boiling until at the last second when it was too late and it spilled and overflowed.

" Lucky. Have I told you how sick I am of your games? You think because I let you get to me one time, it means something. It doesn't. We're not together, we never were and we never we'll be. I had a moment of weakness and you took advantage of that. I regretted it. How many times do I have to say that."

" I was your friend," he leaned forward, whispering to her as if he meant to expel the grandest secret. " I still want to be. I helped you that night. We helped each other…"

" Stop!" Her nostrils flared, repulsion etched in every feature. " Stop making what happened between us sound like we had some monumental connection. I was drunk, my first and last time-"

" You were upset remember? You had a huge fight with your mom. I know she never treated you good. I found you in the park crying. Me and my friends were drinking and when I offered you some, I was surprised when you actually took it."

She couldn't hear this. That night was the biggest mistake of her life. It was her constant reminder of why she was who she was and why she would never gave in to the pressure or demands of her peers. Her head was turned, her stomach sick with memory. " I don't need you to recall what happened. I remember it well, unfortunately."

Lucky took her sick expression in, his face immediately tightening in defense. " Just because you regretted it doesn't mean it's my fault. You wanted it just as much-"

The chair scraped and stopped his speech. She turned to grab her purse. When she braved herself to face him, she was pale. Her eyes dark and clouded with unwelcoming images of a night she wished she could erase. " It's over. The past is the past. You want to look back and believe that we had something together. You go ahead. I cant stop you. But I'm just being honest Lucky. I never meant to lead you on-"

" But you did. You teased me." He stood over now, the few patrons in the small dining area looked over. " All those years I pursued you like an fool in love and you never gave me the time of day. You think you were some great untouchable beauty-"

" I never thought that Lucky, I-"

" But I have news for you. There's nothing special about you. I know that now." Lucky gripped her chin mercilessly and the bones in her jaw burned in response. " You thought who the hell you were just because your father worked for some city mobster. Sam was the cute party girl and then you trying to be the exact opposite. Some saintly untouchable doll, worshipped but only from afar."

" Lucky," her words came out strangled, mixed in anger and fear. " Let go of me."

"What exactly did you regret about that night, Elizabeth?" That you let me see who you really were. Maybe you're a little embarrassed because I'm the only one who knows you're not so perfect after all. Or is it that you disappointed me as well?"

Her eyes widened and she knew before his mouth moved to speak the words he said would bruise her far deeper than any mark on her face.

" I mean after a year or two of pursuing you I thought my night with you would this life altering experience. You know? I'd see angels or a white light would come appear to me." He stepped even closer and Elizabeth squirmed a bit away, but his fingers bit into her flesh harder, keeping her in place. He licked his lips and a foggy remembrance cast over his eyes and he stared down at her. " It's pretty sad when you think about it," he spoke lowly, " in the end everyone was right about you."

He felt her tense. A satisfied smirk pulled the tight corners of his mouth in opposite directions. It wasn't a smile, she thoughtfully concluded, watching as her breath ached in her throat. It was malicious cruelty at its' finest.

" You proved them right that night. Even your own sister called you names behind your back sometimes. I thought she was jealous because to some guys you were this mysterious girl no one could come near, but" he looked down, appraising her body with displeasure, " I was wrong. You are just a frigid cold bitch."

She yanked her chin away and he let her go freely. Disgust twisted his common good looks and his skin appeared yellow and his face hollow in its' hatred. " I don't know why I ever bothered with you. What a disappointment."

She clutched her pursue, small nails digging into the soft fabric. Her chin ached and wobbled uncontrollably and she could feel the tears on the ledge of her eyes, threatening to fall and satisfy the man in front of her. She would die first. " Don't you ever come near me again." Her words sounded weak, frail even to her, but she didn't care.

He sighed smugly her threat squashing beneath his arrogance. " I'll see you later Liz. The fun is just beginning for you and me." He waved as he watched her retreat. Her back hit the door and she pushed at it, finally releasing her sight from him.

" Call me." She heard him shout cheerfully, before the voices in her head took over and paraded through her all the way home. She realized her nightmare had just begun, inescapably so.

" Do you think we're doing the right thing?" Bruce Webber muttered into his hand.

" Yes, dear. How many times must we discuss this." Carolyn fluffed another pillow, patted it down as she laid it next to the other four in a perfect line. " There. I think we got everything packed in here. Everything that we need at least. There wont be any evidence that we…"

She faltered when her husband continued to stare at her in silence. " Dear?"

" What, that we stole from a mobster and now we are going to be running for the rest of our lives? No," he stood up swiftly, coming over to his wife in the center of his study. " There wont be any paper trail of any kind. Does it matter now? He already knows." He proclaimed defeatingly.

" Bruce, this isn't going to help. We already decided that this was the best plan of action. Thinking back isn't going to help us now. All we can do is focus on what we have now for the future."

" Future? What future? Our own daughters are leaving their lives, their hopes their dreams because we got too greedy. How can you stand there and make light of any of this Carolyn. Our children are in danger the longer we stay here. We are going to have to lie to our own son one day. Make up a past that never happened so he doesn't know what we did."

Instead of scolding him like a petulant child, which was her usual antidote for outbursts she hugged her husband, latching her warm hands around his upper arms and looking him dead in the eye. There was no warmth in anything about her but her natural body heat. Her eyes were dark as determination grew.

" What we did was wrong, but we had good reason and you and I are the only ones who will ever truly understand that. Yes, you're right. We went too far, but it wasn't something ether of us did out of evil intent. We wanted our family comfortable and safe. Money is the only thing in this world that can insure that. We made that possible for our family. You think Mr. Corinthos was going to put any of his income to the good use that we did? Our kids had an amazing childhood and they have been able to do the things they never could have without that money. We made it possible for them to be happy and I will never regret that."

" Carolyn," he mimicked her by grabbing on to her shoulders as well. His forehead bubbled over in creases, perturbed by her rationale for their inexcusable actions. " you can't believe what you just said. You don't. Honey,…"

" I do," she pushed his hands away, unable to endure his patronizing, no matter how soft he came across. " I told you before we did what we had to. I don't regret it."

Her features remained sharp and defensive and he relented as disbelief took over in his voice. " Even at the cost of your own children's lives. They are targets now."

" I wont accept that. We wont let that happen, that's why we are leaving, Bruce. We have survived this long. If Mr. Corinthos wanted us dead he would have sent someone weeks ago to do the job. He didn't and you know why? Because we are nothing to him. We're not a threat, an opponent. We're not the enemy Bruce. To him, we're just overeager former employees who dipped their hands to deep in the jar, got a little greedy. Sonny Corinthos doesn't kill people like us."

" Then why was he in the office the other day. Huh? I told you what he said. Especially about Elizabeth specifically. You agreed it was time to leave."

" Taking the next necessary steps of precaution are. It would be foolish to stay and wait, but this could all be your paranoia. Why would Sonny threaten Elizabeth out of everyone? I mean it would make more sense if it was you or me?"

" I don't know" he answered, distracted. His annoyance grew at his wife's complacent behavior. " But I know I didn't like it. It was like he knew something that I didn't. Sonny is a deadly man and worse, he's clever. He's not going to come right out and kill us. He'll plan and strike when we least expect it. I want to be five states away before that can happen."

" We will" she moved closer, her voice trying to be reassuring, but it fell uselessly between them. There was no amount of words or gestures that could heal what either of them had done. All Bruce Webber sought was his family's forgiveness and even that seemed undeserving and unreachable.

Elizabeth stood on the third stair of her staircase. Facing the attic door, she didn't know why but she wasn't certain she wanted to go in there. Especially because of the way she was feeling right now. She had stampeded through the house, not thinking, not wanting to feel what was coursing through her like a sickness.

She wanted peace. She wanted more than anything to stop the thoughts whirling through her and her first instinct was not unusual. The attic had always been her place, but now that she knew who stood behind those walls, she thought she'd want to find some place new. Maybe her room…but that was so noisy and there was barely any privacy since Sam was right next door.

" What the hell am I doing…" she muttered softly. Why was the urge to go up there so strong. He had made it clear that she was in the way and what had almost happened between them was something he obviously regretted. So why the pull to be with him practically overcoming her?

" You've spending an awful lot of time lately up there."

Her sister's voice seized further mindless ramblings. " Excuse me? She turned slowly; her defenses were already peaked and raw from before with Lucky.

" I'm just saying," she shrugged her shoulders. " Lately, you've been up there more than usual."

Elizabeth folded her arms under breasts, preparing for the snide remark. When it didn't come, Elizabeth couldn't help but wonder what her agenda was. " So?"

" So, is…I mean are you okay? This must be bothering you." When Elizabeth's face remained impenetrable, Sam explained further. " Come on Liz, I know this moving thing must be getting to you. Don't you get tired of pretending to be so strong. It's killing me, that's for sure."

" I'm sorry," Elizabeth responded automatically, witnessing the first signs of her old sister. " I really am. Have you told Jack?"

" Jack and I, we weren't that serious." She dismissed lightly, but a small tear gathered in the corner of her eye.

Elizabeth moved tentatively closer, trying desperately to break a barrier that had formed and grown out of nowhere. " You know that's not true. You cared about him. That doesn't have to change just because you're leaving."

Sam looked as uncomfortable as she felt, but she ignored it. There was something inside her that didn't want to stop. She always stopped, never fought for the hard things. Maybe because they were things never guaranteed. Her heart was something she always felt was too fragile to risk. Then she had a choice and now, it didn't feel that way anymore.

" You like Jack and if…if it's meant to be…you never know."

Sam suppressed a small smile behind suspicious eyes. " When did you become so romantic…I thought you were the resident cynic."

" I am…I still am, I guess." For some reason the light comment made her feel exposed.

" I just…it seems like this guy is one of the few who stuck around. Maybe you should tell him that."

" It was just a casual thing, ya know." The gloom in her voice echoed across her face.

" It doesn't look like it from where I'm standing. Have you told him how you feel?"

Sam turned her head back and forth. " Doesn't matter."

Pushing back the awkwardness between them, Elizabeth touched her sister's hand lightly.

" If it matters to you, it matters."

Sam stilled, glanced down at her sister's pale hand and how white it was compared to her tan arm. No one would ever think they were related. If the physical differences didn't solidify it their personalities most certainly did. " Thank you," she whispered, grazing her hand across the one over her.

Elizabeth nodded shyly. " Your welcome."

Maybe taking a risk was worth it sometimes.

He hadn't noticed her presence.

His back was to her and she watched him pace the floor, slow but steady. She was glad to see there was no visible wobble in his step. He didn't falter or appear weak in any way that would be susceptible to others. For a man who had been shot in the stomach almost a week ago in, he seemed almost perfectly healthy, maybe even strong enough to leave.

Unless someone actually looked close enough to tell, which she always did. Elizabeth had keen observing skills. It was no wonder considering she spent most of her time watching rather than doing.

He was a little out of breath and his skin looked like a combination of yellow and white splattered together. She knew he would be okay, but she didn't think it wise for him to over exert himself. The dark blue black circles under his eyes bothered her, but she couldn't blame his lack of sleep solely on his physical condition. She didn't know how he survived sleeping on the lumpy futon one night, forget a whole week.

Once the door clicked behind her and her own breathing gathered in a ball in her throat, she predicted what would come next and unfortunately, she was right. His feet halted, his back stilled. He stopped whatever he was thinking and just remained. He didn't bother to turn around and suddenly Elizabeth felt like the intruder.

A wave of protectiveness overcame her as she watched his hollow gray profile tilt in her direction.

His breathing had shallowed, but there was a heavy rattle to it that she didn't like.

" You should be resting."

Nothing changed expect the corner of his mouth that pinched. With the small amount of light in the room she couldn't decipher whether he was annoyed or happy to see her. Knowing Jason or what little she knew of him, she was gathering neither.

" I came to check…check your wound," she stated, her tone mildly annoyed, but hushed. Why was everything with him, even a simple conversation like pulling teeth. It was emotionally draining just to converse with him on the most basic of terms.

He scratched the side of his face. His five o'clock shadow was clearly evident in the dark, but still not thick enough to be considered a beard. " I'm fine."

Elizabeth sighed, exasperated at his apparent nature. " I know you're fine," she moved closer, " But I still need to check."

" I said I'm okay-"

" Please." The word made him turn. Her voice was granite, slicing the thin veil of politeness she was trying to maintain between them.

His arms came up from his sides in surrender, uncaring. The blue of his eyes were filmed over and dazed as he took in her attire, stopping at her neckline and then traveling down again. He never looked at her face.

He stood, instead of sitting like she thought he would, next to the small window above him. Moonlight was weak, but it wasn't quite night time yet. She quickly moved forward, not wasting anytime.

She took strength in the fact that her fingers weren't shaking. They faced each other and she waited for him to lift the clean white shirt of her fathers' that she had dropped off before leaving on her …thing with Lucky. Just thinking about it made her skin twist like someone was ringing it like a rag. But the physical pain didn't compare to the emotional torture she suffered silently.

Regrets were a killer.

" What's wrong?"

His deep gruff question shot through her. That feeling of being naked, exposed, climbed and heightened to a degree almost unbearable.

" Nothing." Elizabeth pursued her lips together. " I'm just waiting for you to lift up your shirt."

One of his brows arched quizzically and his head leaned forward. " If you say so." He sounded amused with her. He lifted his shirt and she placed herself closer, closer than she wanted to be, but she had no choice.

" Move a little toward the light…" she murmured. He complied immediately.

She pressed her fingertips gently into the sore red flesh. The swelling had definitely lessened. He hadn't bled in over twenty four hours and his fever was almost down to normal. The bandage was fresh from the morning and since he hadn't bled she placed it back on, setting in back over the healing wound.

" Looks good." She commented while biting her lower lip over and over with her two front teeth.

He cleared his throat and stood straight. His face moved away from hers. " You do that a lot."

" Do what?" She peaked up at him, dropping his shirt down and stepping a bit away.

He stared at her face. She wasn't sure where he was staring at or what he was looking for. His eyes became silver in the moonlight, swirls of white dancing at a hypnotizing pace.

" Your mouth. Y-you bite it a lot."

Her lungs swelled up; suddenly her mouth felt on fire and tingly as if his gaze had physically touched that particular area.

" Nervous habit," she croaked out shakily, moving around him to escape what he was unconsciously doing to her.

" You have a lot of them," he commented in soft interest. She heard him snicker, the arrogance was evident in the small noise and her eyes squeezed shut in irritation. She had to stop letting him get to her.

" Yeah well its not every day you have a criminal being held up in your house."

He faced her but she wasn't looking at him like he wanted her to be. He said it to her back instead. " How do you know I'm a criminal?"

" The gun kinda of gave it away."

" I could be an undercover cop."

He sounded closer. " Do I look that dumb?" The dryness in her voice dripped like acid.

" Stupidity has nothing to do with it." She finally turned to face him. " Just don't be so sure you know me."

She surprised him but moving closer. Her eyes squinting. They looked black and haunted in the dark part of the room where they stood. A foot away from him she uncrossed her arms. Her brows lowered and almost met as she tried desperately inside to untangle his mystery.

Her question came out breathy and unsure. " Who are you? Really."

Her tone disturbed him. She seemed bothered and she was worrying her lip again. The tip of his finger itched as he watched the movement. His thumb, instead, traced the outer edge of his finger " I'm not you're friend. You shouldn't trust me."

She nodded as if she agreed, but there where tears in her eyes and a defeated haze in her features. " I know. I don't, believe me."

" Good."

" Good." She went to move around him, but he caught her arm and nudged her closer.

" That doesn't mean you shouldn't trust," his husky voice was hesitant. He licked his lips as his vision framed in on different parts of her profile. The small round tip of her nose, the bloom of red flesh that protruded below, and the dark black lashes that decorated and curtained every lovely detail. " I mean someone. Anyone."

" There is no one."

Something beat and echoed under the lining of his skin, urging him forward and tearing him back. Unwillingly, he leaned over her, unconscious of why he was doing it but knowing his actions were out of his control. " No one?"

She sniffled and wiped beneath her now red nose before she braved herself to look at him. Her lashes were wet from unshed tears and they greeted him reluctantly as they trailed slowly up his face, greeting his penetrating gaze with mild hostility and pride. " No." She clipped out between another sniffle. " I'm fine. I don't need anyone."

A tiny corner of his heart yanked hard in reaction. He saw it all. Her loneliness, her solitude, it was apart of all she was, but it was buried so deep beneath her need to survive. His hand slipped down her arm, but didn't loosen in strength. His thumb latched in the inner crease of her elbow and swished back and forth over the fabric of her shirt.

She immediately let go of, wiping her arm as if he had left a mark. " I don't need your pity."

He straightened. " Who said it was pity?" his voice lowered dangerously, hinted in offense.

" Well whatever it is. I don't need it."

His nostrils flared, mad that he was stung by her sudden withdrawal. " Fine. If this is what you want."

" What I want," her nostrils flared, " is none of your concern."

His head cocked to the side; anger igniting in his eyes like a blue flame. " Do you even know what you want?"

" Better than you." She stepped closer, her shoulders straightening. "You pretend you got me all figured out because to you I'm this young stupid kid and you're some worldly adult whose done and seen it all. Just because you're older than me doesn't mean you know more."

" It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that you're miserable."

" I'm not-"

" …That you hate being here." His hand sliced in the air, cutting her off as her mouth opened to reject his unwanted opinion. " Your family is never there for you. You don't have many friends-"

" Excuse me-"

" And so you hide up here, pretending you don't care. Pretending that you actually like the way your life is now because it's the only way you can survive…"

Her teeth grinded hard together, " Shutup."

" Maybe if you started being honest with yourself from one second you'd see that. But you wont because than you'd have to admit that you hate everything about your life and that you were wrong. You're not safe, you can't hide. No matter where you go or what you do something is always going to make you want to jump, take a chance. And you, you are going to back away, let it run over you and you'll convince yourself you did the right thing even if it ends up killing you in the end."

" Are you done?

His chest heaved hard, making the plain white t-shirt tighten around his chest. " Are you?" he said breathlessly.

For the first time she wasn't afraid of him. She was too angry to be afraid, to mad at herself for being so transparent. Her shoulders rose and fell, the weight of defeat lying heavy on the side of her anger. Her hands rose, latching on to her sides aggressively.

" You got it all figured out don't you? We'll you can pat yourself on the back because…" she shrugged her shoulders, " You're right. I don't trust. I hide. Okay? Are you happy? I'm taking the easy way out," her voice shook and she instantly regretted speaking at all, but it was too late to turn back. " I don't take chances and I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, but maybe I have good reason."

" Nothing," he whispered between in his teeth, " nothing should make you want to cower away and die."

" I agree, but not all of us have the resources to start over. That's why I'm going to college."

" So you can make a new hiding spot for yourself? Give yourself more excuses to not live."

She never wanted to shove someone so badly. There was so much misplaced anger ripping across his face. His face was red and tight over her and she had no idea why. He had the audacity to be mad at her? Why? What was all the pretense for? To get under her skin. Everything was a game to him and she was sick of it. Her feelings weren't something to be toyed with.

" Stop pretending you know what it's like to be me. I've never fit in; this isn't something I made up in my head, Jason. I was always…different. I never liked what people my age liked. I always felt off beat and when I did give in and _'live'_ as you call it I made the biggest mistake of my life."

" We all make mistakes. That's the way you learn."

" I slept with someone."

The words rushed from her tongue before she could shove them back inside her.

She waited, her eyes on his, but he didn't react. He didn't say anything. His dark presence just lingered over, stalled on the edge.

She knew he wasn't judging her, but she fidgeted anyway. His eyes always disturbed her so she walked over to the window. She couldn't look at him and say the rest. His eyes were too emotional, two brewing storms of discontentment, but there was no air of haughtiness. He still looked a bit angry to her, but at what she couldn't tell. So instead she stared out at the velvety blue night sky.

" It was my firs time…someone I didn't love, someone I didn't even like," she started slowly.

" He liked me for a long time and I knew he only wanted to sleep with me so I never paid much attention to him. One night I had a fight with my parents. They wanted me to go out, be more social like my sister Sam. That's all I ever heard from them and I was so sick of it." She shook her head, her voice clogging.

" So I went to the park to get away and there was he was. He was drinking and he seemed so happy when he turned and saw me." She smiled bitterly, recalling her naivety and loathing herself for it. "He genuinely seemed to care that I was upset. He listened, he understood and for once I wanted to believe him. I know it was probably the booze, but I didn't care because all I wanted was to feel. Just not be alone. As long as there was someone who finally got me, I didn't care."

" Anyway, I drank a little. It did enough to impair me and the next thing I remember was being naked in the car under him. I never felt so foolish, so stupid. He dressed and got out of the car…he didn't even say anything to me before he left. It happened so fast, I don't even remember how I got in the back seat."

Her hands were over her eyes, sweeping across her brow in deep hard strokes. " It was the first and last time I let my guard down and if that makes me some bitter old hag than so be it because I'm not changing just so I can please you. If I didn't do it for my parents I'm sure as hell not going to do it for you." Her words held no fight, but they were genuine in their sincerity.

" Elizabeth."

Startled because he was right behind her, caught off guard because it was the first time he had ever said her name to her, she whipped around, fought for balance by placing her cool fingers on his forearms.

" Jason, I-" she went to explain, but she realized she had nothing to say.

His hand moved over her, covering the side of her face as his thumb swept across her forehead. He looked pained; his eyes confused and almost as startled as hers. " You'll regret it, if you don't."

" What?" she questioned unthinking, hypnotized by his touch.

" Not living, not taking a risk." He whispered across her skin. He licked his lips before he went on. " You might as well be dead."

" I'll be okay." She nodded automatically.

His head shook lightly, his face sad as it gazed down openly at her. " I don't believe you."

His stare was a trap she felt caught in. She couldn't look away. His gaze was weaving some sort o magic inside her. Making her blood race and slow through her. " I thought you didn't care," her head involuntarily bobbed forward.

Swallowing, his eyes glowed as they leisurely voyaged over various planes of snowy skin. " I don't."

She smiled softly, slightly pleased that he seemed as entrapped as she. " Maybe I don't believe you this time."

He watched as her smile bloomed in front of him, giving a small glimpse of her pearly teeth and the pink recesses of her mouth. Her face beneath him, open wide like a flower waiting to be watered made desire cut deep through him. He found her leaning closer, her eyes as clouded over as his. He stepped forward, placing his hands delicately at the sides of her head, his fingers skimming through her hair on their own accord. His lips brushed her forehead in a simple warm kiss that seemed to pierce and sink in her sink.

Elizabeth gulped, the oxygen throughout her body froze in place and then she blinked and he was reluctantly backing away.

Taking a farther step back from her and her growing beauty he gently made an excuse, jamming his hands that shook violently in his front jean pockets. " I'd better get some sleep. It's getting late."

" Yes, of course." The color red pierced her complexion and she stammered as she made her way to the door. " G-Good night." Her hands smoothed down her arms, over and over as she hastily moved. "I'm sorry."

" Don't be." He said firmly, stopping her. She looked up at him.

" Good night." She wrapped her hand around the doorknob. A pleasant smile drifted across her mouth when she realized he wasn't wearing his usual moody scowl.

" Elizabeth?"

When he said her name her whole body felt like something warm was being drizzled over her. "Hmm?"

" What was the name of the guy?"

" The guy?" It took her a moment to remember and when she did the red flush deepened across her face. " Oh, um… Why?"

" What was his name Elizabeth?" he asked again more serious this time.

" Lucky."

" Lucky?" he asked disbelieving.

" Yeah, why?"

He shook his head. " Just wondering." His eyes sparkled. " Good night…I'm not saying it again."

She chuckled softly in her throat. " Get some rest." She smiled; more openly this time and slowly closed the door behind her.

He knew she wouldn't be back, but he stayed rooted there anywhere, watching the door. Not waiting, not wanting to want. The door was closed and she was gone. It was time to close another door. A door that he never knew was there, that perhaps was never supposed to be opened.

It was time to leave.

He whispered to himself, knowing no one could hear but him. He said it anyway, compelled to for some unknown reason. " Goodbye Elizabeth. Thank you."


	15. Chapter 15

_If you don't risk anything you risk even more Erica Jong_.

She was having a wonderful dream. She was weightless, springing from cloud to cloud, laughing. Happy and laughing for no reason, but just because she wanted to. The air around her was sweet smelling like coconut crème and her mouth watered as small wisps of airs tickled her nose, teasing her with flavor.

She was happy and as unreal as it was to believe, Elizabeth, consciously couldn't remember the last time she had been happy. Dreaming or not dreaming.

Most of the time when she dreamt she was always searching for something. Her mind would feel carved out, hollow with wanting. Her eyes frantically searching, seeking out something that she wasn't quite sure of, but her determination was so unrecognizably great, Elizabeth didn't dare argue with herself.

She hated those dreams; waking up drained and limp in emptiness that never ended when she woke. It traveled over the bridge of consciousness, on and on through her mind. She wondered if it would ever end. Why it had begun in the first place. And if she could ever escape it.

The smell of morning and the starting heat of the sun pricked her dream, sending her small but insistent signals that this glorious façade playing in her head was ending. Reality was dimly being set to play and she would go back to where everything stayed in place, like a cold hard lump in front of her. Never making sense, never going quite anywhere.

Her fingers curled under her pillow, hanging on to the loose ends of the sheet. Her nose scrunching as the sun snuck through her slit blinds and intrusively touched her skin.

And at that same moment when the lightest heat stroked her face a deep awareness washed over her whole body. It was heavy and sedating as it washed over her being, blanketing her rising wake and shining out her dream.

She waited in her dream state, but recognized this acute awareness instantly. Whenever she was around Jason it came and robbed her of sense and rational thought. The heaviness over her limbs, her face, breezed against her, making her swoon inside even though she wasn't moving an inch from her place of sleep.

Something slightly wet and infinitely tender kissed the top of her head, lingered then quickly broke. Her breath stalled in her nostrils, her knees knocked together under her covers. She waited for an irrationally long second and then it all left her at once. There was nothing to hold on, nothing to call out and make it come back. It slipped from her like water through her aching grasp.

Her head shot up. She whipped the covers from her body, rubbing her eyes as they darted around the room. The adjustment of the severe light made her squint and she glanced at the nightstand next to her bed.

Ten-thirty. That meant everyone was at work. Everyone was gone.

She sighed, settling her weight deeper into the soft mattress under her.

Something was off.

The blinds clattered and a small breeze fluttered through her room, announcing that fall was not far away. It awakened her sputtering senses more fully, the gathering remnants of time and day quickly falling into place.

She darted another look at the window. The more she looked at it the more deep her brow curled under her sloppy mane of hair. Her bare feet touched the rug, her steps muted and cushioned as she sluggishly ventured toward the window and peeked out.

Then it hit her. She never opened the window last night. She remembered closing it because it was unusually chilly for late August. In fact she had locked the windows too. The last week of her life had led her to do such paranoid actions.

Jason.

Without thinking she bolted to the attic, taking two stairs at a time. Her heart beat so loud and hard against the wall of her chest, she wouldn't have been surprised if it had shattered through her ribs and taken out a layer or two of skin. Her palms was sweaty and shaky as they met the cold metal knob. This time she didn't hesitate, didn't wait to figure out what to say or do, what to expect.

The door opened slightly. She pushed it back farther back because of the heavy wood. She stood, waiting, in the doorway.

Emptiness, cold and harsh, greeted her. Her eyes scan the room, once, twice. She finally stepped in, her eyes continuing to roam around, confident she was missing something. A note, a message of some kind. He wouldn't just leave…it didn't make sense.

But she knew he was gone. Even as she conjured up different reasons for his sudden removal from her life, she knew he had left. That he was never coming back.

He had left and he didn't even say goodbye.

The small window winked at her from her side. The sun's light raining down through the small opening. She walked over, misery hitting her from all sides. Her open palms balled into fists. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

But as she repeated those words, the tears fell, harder, laughing at her as they fell mockingly against her cheeks.

Damn him. He wasn't going to get to her. He had no right to come barreling into her life, turning everything she knew, everything she thought she wanted upside down only to leave just when she thought she was figuring herself out.

Her fingers gripped the small ledge, her breasts leaning into the wood. Her thumb scraped the side of the ledge and found the stained area that glared back at her. The spot appeared to be about as big as her thumb, followed by tiny drips that trailed down the wall. They were a rusty black now.

His blood, her last remembrance of him.

Elizabeth's eyes traveled the small trail. So he was real after all. She fingered the stained wood, not quite sure of anything anymore.

The door to the pharmaucy opened, the bell in the left upper corner jingling at the new patron's presence.

Lucky stilled, leaning a huge portion of his weight onto the box he was in the middle of opening. " If you need assistance I'm in the back," he yelled, wiping the early afternoon sweat from his forehead.

When no one answered, he partially turned, checking through small bird's eye view he had from the stockroom entrance. " I said if you need help…"

Screw it. The aisles were labeled and he knew every granny and farmer in this godforsaken town. If they didn't know by now where the stockroom was, they could stumble through their idiocy at their own leisure. He was loaded with bullshit work for hours and the last thing he wanted was to deal with a snappy old woman or a dirty farmer who smelled like horse.

He began ripping at the box again, the tape on this one was harder to cut without an appliance. He rolled his back as an ache stabbed low, just above his hips. The box cutter was outside, under the front register. Of course it was. Lucky grumbled as he stood, cursing under his breath at the bad fortune of working in a dump like this.

He really had to get another job.

The box cutter was right where he thought it was. He flipped the closed tool it in his hand, twisting to eye the clock behind him on the wall.

12:30. Soon his replacement would come in and he would be able to take a nice long lunch. He walked away from the register just as he remembered the patron. He didn't recall hearing a second jingle, announcing that they had left.

That was weird.

" Hello?" he walked over to each aisle poking his head in as he made a thorough sweep of the small establishment. By the last aisle he was beginning the think he was hallucinating. Maybe all those double shifts he was pulling were starting to catch up on him.

When he hit the last aisle, Stationary and paper goods, and it checked out clean, he grimaced, not sure if he was relieved or more perturbed.

" I said Hello? Does anyone need-"

His head turned just as blur of black caught the corner of his left eye, sneaking up on from the back with lightning speed. Whatever, whoever it was, grabbed his ratty denim shirt and spun him around, sending him crashing into the wall behind him.

His cheek hit the open wall along with the rest of his body in a hard thud, the force of the hit making him bounce right off and fall flat on his ass. He had little time to think or react because the next second he was being lifted by his collar and shoved right back into the same wall.

He panicked, instinct finally kicking in and he moved his arm to swing, but the speed of the intruder cut his obvious intentions off and blocked the punch, countering it with one is his own, right in the gut so that he curled over.

He was gasping for air, his arm banding around his midsection. His face was red with pain and fear as he gulped to speak. " Listen man, whatever you…the cash register's over there."

He heard the man grumble over him right before he dragged his hunched form back up and pressed him into the hard surface.

The man used his collar to jerk him forward and beat his head back. He hissed through his teeth. " You know Elizabeth Webber."

It wasn't a question and Lucky wasn't sure what to say if it was. Fear flattened the pain that was starting to pound through his skull, making him whimper low and incoherently.

" I don't know…man, listen…she…"

" You come near her again, I'll kill you. Understand?" The gruff voice threatened.

" I- I…I don't know what-"

The man grabbed the top of his hair and slammed his head back into the wall. " Understand?"

" Yes, yes, I understand. I understand completely."

" Good," the coarse whisper replied.

Lucky let out a brutal cough, his breathing rattling inside his lungs. His eyes adjusted for a second on the man; the glow of anger in the stranger's blue stare along with the ruthless edges and shadows of his face screamed murder at him.

Lucky quickly returned his foggy gaze to the floor, breathing in gulps of fresh air as more and more pain took over. His eyes closed, his hands resting on his knees as he waited for some strength to come back into him.

He hoped he was gone but when he dared to look up the man was looming not a foot away. " I said… I promise man…" Lucky felt tears prick his eyes as a blank but deadly cold sank into the eyes burning over him. " Please I-"

The man's reflexes were too fast. His arm whipped out, the heel of his hand smashing against the bridge of his nose. His head cracked back and his body followed after as he fell down hard onto the cold floor.

Blood spurted out from nose, coating his lips. " Fuck," he jerked in pain when he touched the already swollen area. His tongue tasted metallic liquid and his stomach lurched as all his senses went into overdrive.

The man didn't budge as he watched him squirm on the floor. A cold pleasure danced across his eyes as he spoke. " Just in case."

And then, like a ghost, just as he appeared, he was gone.

" Sweetie, you start packing yet?" her mother called from inside the house.

Sitting on the front porch, kicking the little stones that had loosened from the gravel, Elizabeth remained still, pensive, as she continued staring at the floor, watching herself make the monotnous move over and over.

" Yeah…I'm just taking a break."

" Dear, don't dawdle. Sunday we are leaving. Early, honey. That's only four days-"

" I know!"

" Elizabeth." She could hear her mother's gasp from inside. " That tone is not necessary…if I ever talked to my mother the way you do. I swear…"

Her lecturing prattling, unfortunately, didn't dwindle or run out. Her mother never ran out of things to say when it came to the offensive behavior of her middle child. Her complaining now was just as repetitive and obvious as it was ten years ago when she was ten and her most outrageous crime was forgetting to put the cap back on the OJ carton.

Elizabeth chose not the hear it. Actually she didn't have to choose. Her mind automatically blocked out every sound , every feeling. The numbness took over without thought and all day she had been walking around like a zombie. She hated the feeling, she wanted it to stop, but she couldn't figure out how.

" Hey stranger."

She heard the soft voice near her shoulder, penetrating through the thick wall of unfeeling that kept blocking everything out.

" Liz…hey. It's me."

Her head came up slowly, revealing worn blue eyes and a too pale face. Her smile was weak at best. " Hey Lu" she murmured, before returning her attention back to the ground.

" Hey yourself." She came and sat next to her best friend or what was rapidly becoming a shadow of the former. " You look like shit. What's going on?"

Elizabeth shrugged, her small shoulders barely moving under the bulky gray sweatshirt.

" Nothing. You?"

" What's up with your parents? I called before and they sounded like they were in a mad dash or something. What's going on in there?"

" Nothing." Elizabeth swiftly covered, wiping her dry palms on her bagging blue jeans, before answering her friend's question with a reassuring smile. " They're just busy."

" With what?"

" You're too noisy."

" But you like me anyway," Lulu instantly returned playfully, nudging Liz's shoulder with her own. " They sound like they're moving the house around in there." She peeked, turning her head to get a small view through the screen door.

Elizabeth was busy picking the chipped paint off her nails. " They're going away for the weekend." Her stomach burned at the blatant lie. She was surprised how easy it came to say it. Especially to Lulu, someone she's never lied to.

" Oh, cool. House party time."

" Um, grounded time. My mother's like a bloodhound when it comes to those things. You know that."

Lulu smirked, her eyes glistening at the memory of the one house party Sam had and lived for a month to regret it. " Do I ever. You weren't even involved and you got punished. I don't think I saw you for almost a month."

" Yeah," Elizabeth's low voice agreed. " Good times, right."

" So what's your excuse now?"

She tried not to tense. " Excuse for what?"

" For…not being around or returning my calls. Elizabeth, I know something is up. This past week you've been…I dunno…different."

" You know I have college soon. I'm just preparing, that's all."

Instantly knocking the excuse away she continued. " It's more than that. Stop it. Whatever's going on you know you can tell me." She leaned in closer, placing her hand delicately on her friend's shoulder. " I shouldn't even have to say that."

" It's nothing."

" Is it your parents again?"

" Lulu, no." Her voice tinged in annoyance. She brushed her hand away, lacing her fingers together and rooting her stare at the floor again.

" Sam did something…"

" No, please. Stop."

" No. I'm not going to stop until you tell me what the hell is going on. It's not my brother again? Courtney right? Courtney, god, what a…she can be so shallow and vindicative when she wants to be. You just have to brush it off. Let it go, ya know."

Elizabeth turned in her direction so quickly, Lulu probably would have fallen back if not for the guard rail behind her. " Stop. I don't need you playing mother hen to me. Okay? I'm the adult here, not you. Just leave it be. Leave me alone."

The answering silence beat down hard and she didn't have to look back at her friend to know she had hurt her. " I'm sorry Lulu."

" No, it's okay-"

" No it's not." She could hear the tears in her voice and she turned fully to capture her friend's full attention. " I was wrong. I'm sorry. I just…I haven't been myself lately."

" Why?" Lulu wearily probed.

" I…it doesn't matter. I cant… I cant say."

" Is it a guy ?"

Elizabeth squeezed her eye's shut. The strength of her recent encounters with him pushing her emotions over the brink. She shook her head as if to wane them off.

" Sorta. It's complicated."

" What's complicated?" Lulu sounded happy again. Her small moment of hurt vanishing under the thrill of such momentous news. " You like him…he likes you. Hello? Elizabeth this is so great. You deserve to find someone wonderful…"

" Lulu…he doesn't."

" Doesn't what?"

" God, it's…like I said, it's complicated. But it doesn't matter anymore. He's gone. He doesn't see me that way anyway. It was just this stupid momentary crush. I'm practically over it."

" Over it? Yeah okay, That's why you've been walking around like your half dead. Come on, this is more than just some high school crush. Plus you don't crush. You never did."

" I don't know what it is. I'm so mixed up inside," she whispered, more to herself than anyone.

" How do you know he doesn't feel the same?"

" Because I know." She dryly replied as she recalled his dark scowl after their few close encounters.

" Have you asked him?"

" I don't have to. I just know."

" You don't believe that."

" Lulu" she weakly warned.

" Elizabeth."

" It doesn't matter okay…"

" It obviously does. To you. If it didn't you wouldn't be here like this. I mean, you're never going to know unless you ask."

" I cant." She shook her head, remembering that he didn't even have the decency to say goodbye. Nothing.

" What are you afraid of?"

Her defensive reply belied her words. " I'm not afraid."

They sat in weighty silence for several minutes. Lulu certainly didn't want to push, but opportunities like this didn't arise often. Sometimes you had to take a risk, seize the moment before it slipped through your fingers. Elizabeth had been living her life as a bystander. She never played the field, took the chances that most teens spent their adolescent life doing.

" I think he's gone anyway." She finally broke.

Lulu patted her knee. " You still can try."

" Lulu," she looked into her friend's eyes, her own were miserable and soggy. " I …what if I'm wrong? I just…"

"Elizabeth," she stopped her friend's worries with a single hard look. "You're never going to know until you try. Sometimes that's all you can do."

" Yeah?"

" It's me."

Jason could hear the audible sigh of relief through the static of the shitty reception. Sonny was practically beaming on the other end. " Jason, Jesus. It's about time," he conveyed, his voice a clear mixture of pleasure and frustration.

" Yeah. I know. I'm parked for the day, but I'll be home by tomorrow," he simply stated. He knew the real talk would come later. It wasn't something he was looking forward to but it had to be done.

" No later man. We need to run on this thing."

" I know." Jason nodded in full agreement. " We gotta talk."

" We will." Sonny affirmed, his voice bouncing at the thought of finally setting the rest of his plan in motion. " Just get your ass back to Port Charles."

" Tomorrow morning." Jason offered, his voice hushed as a million thoughts took over. "Should be in by seven. I'm going to be riding all night."

Sonny chuckled. " Ten. You know I hate mornings. See ya tomorrow."

" Yeah." He replied already distracted. " Tomorrow," he said, closing the phone against his cheek. He was so lost in the pieces that he had to put back together, the mess that this last week had made, he wasn't sure where he was suppose to begin.

He was starting to feel like his old self again. His side hurt like hell and he was weaker than he would admit, but he could do his job and that was all the mattered. Jason glanced at the small bed, knowing he couldn't put off sleep too much longer. If he slept till sundown and rode all night he should be good. His fingers grazed the top of his left side, taking in the bump under his plain white t-shirt.

She had certainly done a good job of taking care of him. She nursed him back from the brink of death, fed him, put up with him, and he had had the nerve to say she was afraid.

He was wrong. He never should have said any of those things. She was probably the most courageous person he ever met. He didn't know one single person who would go to the extent she did to save a virtual stranger.

And what did he do? Insult her, call her names, berate her. She was probably relieved to find out he had left so suddenly. It definitely made her life less complicated. At least for a little while.

Yeah, he concluded, he did the right thing. This situation wasn't good for her. It wasn't good for either of them. The intensity was messing with his head, closing in on him. Jason finally felt like he could breathe. The air around him wasn't so suffocating. He didn't feel boxed in anymore.

The motel room might have been dingy and cheap, but it was clean enough from him. And more importantly it got him far away from her. The farther the better.

Someone knocked on the door. His chair, which was leaning back on it's hind legs, ceased from moving. He waited for a second knock and when it came he let the chair fall in a silent thud while he retrieved his gun from under his shirt.

He cocked the gun in place and held it at his side imperceptibly as he moved over to the small window near the door. With one finger he pushed the white translucent curtain slightly away and peeked out.

His back tensed and his fingers squeezed angrily around the stem of the gun. He growled,

" Son of bitch." And placed the curtain back in place.

He froze for a moment, then a third knock came and it sprinted him to action, making him shove the gun back in place. Rage grew inside him, rocketing to the forefront of his mind, banishing away the gratitude he was moments ago overflowing with.

He jerked the door open, making the unwanted guest in front of him yelp in surprise.

" What are you doing here?" he quietly demanded. Although his voice couldn't mask his outrage he tried hard to control his volume.

" I-I," she licked her lips nervously and he watched the movement begrudgingly, furthering the fury. " I came to see you."

" Why?" he pressed, not hiding his apparent displeasure.

" Because I," she stumbled, her cheeks blushing worse than any sunburn. " I have something to say to you-"

" You shouldn't be here."

" But I am." She cut through, determination forcing her voice to sound stern. " I have something to tell you and you're going to listen to me whether you like it not."


	16. Chapter 16

_Love is a universal risk we all, at one point in time, must take. Being vulnerable to that risk is what links us all together. Me._

Luck, she decided, was a fickle thing.

It had been a stranger to her growing up. Especially when she needed it most; awkward moments with the opposite sex, a stinging comeback at Sam when her mind had abandoned her- she begged for a streak of luck to come down from the heavens and touch her with some of its' magic. Never did, she always thought bitterly, and she assumed it never would.

Now, when she needed it most, was too frantic and dizzy with the need to find him, luck found her. She didn't know how, she didn't care at this point in time. She was glad, happy, joyous…at least she was until Jason swung open the door and greeted her with the darkest eyes and the most alarmingly angry frown.

So, maybe it wasn't luck. Maybe it was luck asking karma to pay her back for all the times she cursed luck. Either way she was here, standing in front of him with a million words in a heart and none of them transferring to her brain.

She kept breathing, in and out. Her chest felt scratchy under the unusually soft material. It was beautiful and elegant, everything she wasn't at this point in time. How pathetic was it that she had to borrow clothes, nice clothes, from a high schooler.

Lulu had a large and diverse array of tube tops and spaghetti strapped devices Elizabeth could have chosen from, but she, as her normal, chose the simplest and plainest of choices; a simple light summer blue sweater and jeans that would have required the assistance of a wire hanger to zip up if not for her friend's freakish strength.

Lulu was a god sent because she wouldn't be caught dead in anything her sister considered appropriate attire for attracting a certain amount of male attention.

Standing opposite him, in the doorway to his room, she somehow didn't feel in place with him. It had only been a day since she last saw him, but those hours, the significant but small encounters, had depleted his beauty. She was quite unprepared for his sharp handsomeness; the destroying but angelic face that maddened and heightened her senses.

He was undeniably beautiful, mainly because of his sheer unawareness of it. There were no other words to describe his unearthly physical features or how they affected her so.

Hair casually tousled, flexes of gold shining back at her from the sun, his eyes starbursts of electric blue, his clothes relaxed, wrinkled but gorgeously accenting his chest, stomach, all the places she didn't want to notice but couldn't help.

Next to him, Elizabeth was a little girl playing dress up. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But it was too late to turn back. She had found him. Luckily.

After the PC Motel didn't work out, Elizabeth figured this was the only place he would go to rest that was inconspicuous and right on the outskirts of town. After that it was all highway until you hit the city. When she asked the clerk if anyone matching his description had rented a room she thought for sure the young man behind the counter would come up empty with a response. Forty bucks later and she had a room number and a personal guide to show which direction he was at.

She snuck a small peek at him, watching his impatience mount with each passing second. She wasn't sure where exactly to start. The truth was messy and tangled when emotions were involved. Jason was blunt and to the point. Maybe if she just blurted it out she could save herself the humiliation of mumbling her way through her admission and Jason would reciprocate her mercy with some of his own when he let her down.

" Jason, I-"

The words stopped in her throat when his arm snaked out and yanked her from the shoulder and into the dark room behind him. The door slammed, the strong sound making the cheap lamp on the nearby desk rattle.

He let go of her once they were completely inside the room but he didn't lengthen the distance between them. In fact from Elizabeth's vantage point he was towering over her like some dark overlord about to lend out a harsh ruling. The light from the room was dim at best, casting shadows on his face, making him appear harder and meaner than she hoped he was.

Staggering mentally under his stare she opened her mouth and hoped instinct would take over." I, um-"

" What the hell were you thinking?" he came closer.

She backed a step away, bumping the corner of the bed. " I wasn't…I mean-"

" Yeah damn right you weren't. You shouldn't be here. You need to leave. Now." He stabbed a finger at the door, his eyes blazing at her.

" No!"

" That wasn't a request Elizabeth. Get back to town before your parents find out where you are." When she remained in place, her eyes immobilizing as they held his, he erased the foot between them with his one step. " You're leaving, whether it's on your own or not is up to you."

His hand came up, but she was quicker, darting away from his nimble grasp and moving around him. " Not before I say what I need to say."

" Elizabeth-"

" Just hear me out…I know you have somewhere to be, but I need to say this. I…please."

When he turned, he thought he'd find her pleading and vulnerable like she quietly revealed to him selectively in the attic, but, standing opposite him now, she looked like a wooden doll. Her stance was rigid and determined, her eyes two hard jewels. She was anything but the Elizabeth he had become somewhat familiar with.

He remained detached, his anger simmering under a fine line of paper thin control. " We can't do this," he spoke through gritted teeth. " Besides, there's nothing to say. I'm a dangerous man…do you get that?"

" This has nothing to do with who you are Jason."

" Yes it does. Leave Elizabeth. Leave before you regret it." His words almost sounded like a warning, something wise that she should heed before he did something he didn't want to and she hated him for good. But she couldn't. She wouldn't. Not when she had come this far.

" Maybe you can ignore what's going on but I cant. I wont. I-" she fumbled, licking her dry lips. Her thumb traced the inside of her palm as she searched his eyes for a sign of connection, of understanding. " I care about you."

When he tarried in his stance of a breathing statue, with no flicker of recognition to what she had just said, she forced herself to continue. " I know what happened between us…what you went through was traumatic. Things like this don't happen a lot to me. I'm not sure…I mean I'm positive I'm not dealing with it right, but I can't ignore it Jason. For the first time I don't want to."

" You don't know what your saying," he dismissed.

She pretended she didn't hear him, gulping down the anxiety that vibrated inside her from his awaiting rejection. " I'm not a child. I know I'm not exactly schooled or have been places you have or done….whatever, but I know how I feel. I know what's going on inside me isn't some stupid adolescent crush. I …I liked, I like being around you-"

" Elizabeth, please-" he interrupted gruffly, his words short on patience.

" Don't tell me I'm just feeling this because of the situation," she cut in, overlapping his terse reply. Already dangling over a large empty precipice, Elizabeth bit down, fighting the fear that threatened to paralyze her and spoke without forethought.

"Jason, you saw me. Maybe you weren't looking for it. God knows I wasn't, but you found something in me that I thought was already dead….you got me when no one has ever even tried. And I realized I didn't have to pretend with you…I didn't want to. You saw through me. I'm always trying to be something for someone. Who I am never seemed quite good enough and then you came along and I couldn't fake my way through you. I had no choice but to be strong and use whatever instincts I had to keep you alive. And when I tried to be brave or more you knew I was faking."

She shrugged her shoulders, her eyes misty as she stripped herself completely bare.

" A-and you didn't care. I just…I've never met anyone that I've ever felt completely comfortable with. I don't with you…I dunno, maybe I never will, but for the first time I want to try. You make me feel alive and free and uninhibited at the same time. I just…I like being around you. " She shrugged her shoulders, feeling her embarrassment acutely as her flush burned like the sun was scorching six inches above her. " I like you and I wont apologize for it."

The rush of embarrassment was quickly followed by stark silence; their breathing the only audible passage flowing between them.

Elizabeth fiddled with the round button of her jeans. Her fingers betraying her with a slight shake in every move. She peered at him through her lashes. All her strength exited her body along with the small confession. She mentally ordered him to say something, do anything, but he continued, like always to do the exact opposite and do neither.

He took a step closer but when she backed away he didn't gobble up the distance like she thought he would. He didn't retreat either. " Elizabeth, …I don't know what to say…I'm flattered…"

Oh, god. Here it is.

" You're a nice girl…I just…" his hands came up from his sides. His face was as closed up as clam. He looked anything but flattered. He looked downright hostile, uncomfortably irritated that she had put him in this awkward moment with her.

She couldn't witness this. Humiliation burned her all over. She swallowed, trying desperately to resurrect some pride inside her. She couldn't watch him do this, stumble around for a gentle letdown he didn't want to give in the first place. He was in this position because of her.

When he opened his mouth to say what she guessed were more hollow attempts at softening the hard blow, Elizabeth cut off his torture. " You just don't see me that way."

His hands flexed than curled at his sides, his breathing quickening with each second she prolonged this. God, she was an idiot. To think a guy, a man, like this could ever see her as anything but a stupid annoyance.

" I'm sorry," his low voice whispered. He sounded sorry too and she hated him for it.

" It's fine. It," her chin wobbled as tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. " It's okay. I get it."

" Elizabeth, no you don't-"

" I may be young and naïve, but I know when someone is telling me they don't feel the same. You don't have to spell it out. I was never anything…I mean…I know I could never be…" She bit her bottom lip with a fierceness that caught her off guard. When she tasted blood she felt the first tear drop on her cheek.

Jason, staring at her, licked his lips, his deep voice oddly soothing as he quietly stepped closer, placing himself right in front of her. " Don't think that I'll ever forget what you did for me."

" It doesn't matter," she mumbled, moving to the side, but he caught her arm before she could place an inch of distance from him.

" It matters." His words granite as he voiced his opinion. When he did she raised her eyes to meet his, unwillingly captured by the overwhelming gaze he was giving her. " It matters more than you'll ever know."

" Jason, don't patronize me. I changed you bandage. I fed you food…don't make this something it wasn't-"

" You saved my life!" His fervent yell broke through.

" That doesn't mean-"

" You took care or me. You helped me when you shouldn't have. If it wasn't for you I'd be dead. Don't you understand that's not something I can ever forget? I don't want to."

Her eyes were still blurred from the same tears. Her head shook, her curls waving along in her confusion. " Jason, I don't understand.."

He nodded, his chest heaving in hard restraint. " Maybe I don't either," he answered softly. " All I know is I'm alive because of you and your kindness…Elizabeth," his hand came up, fisted in the air and came back down, the veins in his wrist protruding, " You mean something, but it cant be what you want. That can't happen. You saved my life and I will owe you forever, but it ends there."

" What if I didn't save your life?" It was her to turn to come closer, a compulsion firing up inside her as she saw the control in him break and snap only to fall back in place. "What if I was just some girl on the street…would you want me then?"

He shook his head, licking his lips and taking a breath in one movement. " Don't do this," he silently cautioned.

" Do what? Speak the truth. That's all I have right now. The truth is the only thing that is mine. Answer me! If I was just someone in your daily life…someone you glanced at from across the street…would all this matter then? Or this perfectly placed gratitude some form of obligation you can't seem to get yourself out of?"

" You want answers to questions I cant answer! Let it go." He shouted, his face red, as frustration soaked up every word he spit out. " Let this go. I don't want you and I never will. There, is that what you wanted to hear? Are you done hurting yourself?" His face was next to hers, screaming words he didn't feel accountable for. All he knew was he had to get her out of here before…

She shoved him. The surprise of the movement jerked him off balance but he easily found control. " I hate you," she cried.

" Good," his hoarse voice shook.

" I wish I never laid eyes on you…I wish." She went to shove him again, but his hands came up to block her, holding her tiny wrists between his solid lean fingers.

" Good, now will you leave?" he barked, his face tight with pain. With her head down, her sobs grew, her body shook and he felt it enter his body. His jaw clenched and his eyes burned as new emotion took over.

When her wrists went limp under his hold he slowly let go. His hands stayed still in the air, waiting. This was the right thing to do. She would thank him later. No she would hate him later and that was better than good because hate kept you alive and alert to danger.

He heard her clear her throat before pressing her hands timidly over the ridges of her body. Her composure gathered together so rapidly Jason couldn't believe the change, the difference it made.

Her shoulders squared under her baby blue cashmere scoop sweater. Her hip hugger jeans straightened along with her stance. With a hurried wipe the evidence of her tears were gone. Her cheeks, drained of color, were taut along with the rigid set of her jaw, but nothing made his back stiffen like her eyes. They were black like two lumps of coal.

" I'm sorry to have bothered you. I was wrong. I was wrong about everything." Her tone, a complete contradiction to her physical façade, was foggy and clogged from unshed emotion, from the mortification she had just suffered at his hands.

" Good bye. I'm sorry I burdened you with…" her face twisted, threatening to crumble, " Bye Jason." She ran, catching the door and yanking it open as she sought for escape.

He couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough.

" Elizabeth wait." His fingers closed over her elbow, pulling her back into the room. The door stayed opened, the light from the sun glaring over them even with the shadow of the room on top of them.

Her chest collided with his and her forehead bumped his chest just as a sob escaped her closed mouth. " Elizabeth," his torn voice whispered between. " Please. I-"

" What do you want from me?" her fists beat against his chest. They carried no strength, but he could see the fight within her to block him away. " What? What do you want? What did I ever do to you?"

" I-I never meant to hurt you."

" No," she yanked at his cement grip, but he didn't budge. " You never mean anything. You're just this cold-hearted-"

" I wont hurt you," he vowed, talking more to himself than her.

" Don't flatter yourself. I could careless..." Her nostrils flared, her mouth parted and each lip quivered under his presence. His eyes darted between them. The crystal blue vanished, blackening when her tongue swept across the lower half of her mouth.

The dark aggression made her panic and her fury climaxed." The last thing I need is your pity. Do you hear me? I don nee-"

And then his mouth descended on her lips followed by a raw deafening silence that only broke when she heard her own moan and gasp of surprise flooding her ears.

He collided against her; their bodies and mouths fusing together all at once. The moist heat of his mouth was the first sensation she felt; the intense contact dosing her thoughts and liquefying her in her place as he pressed his parted lips harder into hers.

His mouth hovered over hers for a second only to wedge her plump lower lip between his. Her shaky moan vanished in between them as immediately kissed her again, toying with her inexperienced mouth, thoroughly touching every unattended inch of it. Her eyes closed as the heat of his want traveled through her, catching on the nerve endings inside her and making her bloodstream cry out.

His hands came up and cupped the sides of her face, directing her head lovingly, turning it sideways as he instinctively sought to deepen the kiss. His face slanted as his lips pulled from hers, opened slightly wider and consumed her again.

Their mouths mated, opening and closing together, slowly at first, then the pace quickened, frantically when Jason felt her tongue dart out meekly. His tongue met hers, massaged it agonizingly in slow maneuvering circles before taking over completely and leading her into her mouth.

His nose bumped hers, turned the other way to get even deeper seeking every inch of her. His hands fisted in her hair, dragging her closer and all she could do was follow and steady herself from falling by placing her hands on his chest.

He rolled his tongue over her tongue, caressing the sides of her mouth then pulling away only to start the assault over again. She tasted like coconut, sweet and exotic, creamy and light.

Her hot mouth yielded under his dominating possession as he roughly nipped her chin then grazed the corners of her mouth. He rubbed his lips against hers as he waited for her to catch her breath, pressing small chaste but pleading kisses over every small curve of her fleshy lips.

" Jason…" She was out of breath.

He knew the bed was behind him. His fingers latched harder into her hair, lost from sight in her thick dark curls. She didn't notice his frustration. Her eyes were closed, her mouth was red and swollen, exhausted from his ministrations and begging for more.

His thumb traced the red ring that outlined around her mouth. The one he had created in his frenzied lustful haste. Her dark lashes shook as he continued, mesmerized. Touching her cool creamy skin, experiencing the feel of her mouth under his…

" Elizabeth, this shouldn't…we…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

She licked her upper lip, than followed with her bottom, grazing his thumb slowly along the way. Her eyes found his in their aroused haze. " But you did. Why?"

He swallowed hard. His forehead was still pressed against hers, his thumb sweeping across the small indent in the corner of her mouth. " Because I couldn't help myself."

" You w-want me?" she asked softly. She asked it as a question, but the indications of his desire for her were more than severely obvious on her face.

" I want you," his husky voice answered, defeated. " I want you, but I cant have you."

" Jason-"

" Ssssh." His finger touched the center of her mouth. " Listen to me."

She nodded and he couldn't suppress the small smile that broke his firm pout. It was the first time she ever willingly listened to him.

" This place, here, it's your life. Not mine. You don't know me or what I do…and that's how it has to be."

" I'll never see you again?" her query desperate and breathy. " Jason, please. Maybe we can work something out…"

He was already shaking his head. But he hadn't stepped away from her which was a good thing. He hadn't turned to ice. In fact he couldn't stop touching her. The fingers buried in her hair were working softly against her scalp; rolling along her skin in circular motions, the callous of his fingertips, raking across her satiny softness to create a hypnotic friction.

His chest bumped hers as he took a preparatory breath. " My life is dangerous Elizabeth. I cant have you or anyone in it. There's too much at stake and you can't be a part of it. Ever."

" But what if-"

His hand tightened around her skull. " Ever, Elizabeth." His jaw clenched hard, the bone jotting out against the skin.

She looked at the ground, followed by a watery sigh. " So this is it."

" I wont change my mind."

She sniffled. " I believe you."

" Hey," he gripped the back of her head tenderly, applying the slightest pressure for her to look at him. " I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

His penetrating stare fell hard on her. Her breaths staggering inside her, turning over as she fought for semblance. " I know."

" I want you to be careful."

She shook off his concern with a nod, pinning him with a meaningful glare. " I want you to be careful. Or is getting shot a weekly hazard in your line of work."

" I'll be fine."

" You always say that."

He leaned closer. " Because it's true." His eyes were on mouth. " Be careful."

" I always am…"

" Promise me." He demanded.

" Jason, please."

" Elizabeth do it. Don't make me ask again."

Her hand came up and touched the side of his face, reveling at the feel of his soft tan skin under hers. Her thumb swept his cheek, her insides flipping at the sensation. " I promise," her eyes held his.

His eyes came down on her mouth again. " Thank you." His solemn face centered in her trembling lips. His eyes scorching as he came within inches of kissing her. " That makes it okay…as long I know you're okay…"

" Jason-"

His mouth crashed into her, his lips twisting with hers as they intertwined together; their mouth,s folds of flesh, gasping as they turned and danced over each other. When he finally released her, he stepped back completely, no longer touching her at all.

" You should go," he whispered. His voice edged, but sad.

" Right," she fumbled with her purse, finding her keys and latching on to them like glue.

" Take care." She stepped out from under the door. The daylight made her eyes water or at least that's the excuse she wanted to believe. She was in denial about anything else that had transpired. She couldn't make it to her car if she knew that this was real, so real, and she still couldn't have it.

" Elizabeth."

Her shoulders shuddered. She stopped, turning half way around.

" I meant it. Be careful."

" I will." She smiled a watery smile, already moving away from him and feeling the loss acutely as it stole her breath. " You too."

And then she ran, ran harder and faster than she ever did. The concrete underneath her seemed to push her forward. She was so fast, everything was a blur. She didn't remember buckling her seat or turning on to the small highway that led home. She found herself on the road, her brain on automatic as she steered herself in the right direction, not being able to pay attention to anything but the brokenness burning a hole inside her. She was crying so hard, she couldn't control the sobs that came wrenching from her mouth. Her side hurt, her eyes ached to cease from crying, but nothing would subside the torment.

She was in hell and she had no one to blame but herself. She was solely responsible for what she had done and now she was going to live with it for the rest of her life.

All his life he never owned up to his name. In fact events and circumstances had done little to prove he even deserved such an audacious title. But now, sitting on the cushiony mattress, staring at the camera in his hands, he knew he had struck gold.

Elizabeth, she was the biggest hypocrite he'd ever met. Acting like she was better than everyone, everything, living above the standing of her peers. She acted like a goddamn saint when reality she anything but. She was sneaking behind her parents back with some stranger, some fuckhead with a major James Dean complex.

She was going to pay alright. He leaned forward, fingering the transparent curtain. A small frown played against his lips as he watched the young man who had just kissed Elizabeth slam the door to his room.

Leaning back on to the bed, he flipped the device in his hand, gripped it for good measure. He had the proof right here and it was time people knew Elizabeth wasn't the person she pretended to be. Yep, today he was definitely lucky.


	17. Chapter 17

**Happy New Year, everyone. Hope you like. Thanks for all the replies. I love them**

_Evil when we are in its power is not felt as evil but as a necessity, or even a duty. Simone Weil _

_**Friday Morning**_

" Mr. Webber, there's a young man here to see you."

Placing the stack of carefully organized folders next to the rest of his paperwork, Bruce sighed as he set the weighty contents down. He glanced at the crystal desk clock on his right suddenly remembering his wife had given that as a gift to him on his fortieth birthday and knowing he couldn't take it with him.

When he and his family disappeared in two days, every item in his office would remain just as it was now. He would leave work and his office would appear like it did every day, waiting for Monday morning and his presence to disrupt it.

His favorite picture of the five them, his files, the old sweater he kept folded on his chair when it got too cold, all of it would stay, waiting for him to return when he knew that was an impossibility.

" Sir?"

" Yes," he clicked the button, his throat momentarily tight. " I'm sorry Betty," he breathed out, shaking his head to keep himself in place. Now was not the time to crack.

" There's a Lucky Spenser here to see you. Should I let him in? I can tell him to come back if you're too busy sir."

Lucky Spenser? That was name he hadn't heard around the house in an age. Elizabeth was undeniably close to his little sister, but Lucky hadn't been a part of their family socially since Elizabeth was in grade school.

" Yeah, let him in, please." His tone was distracted in curiosity, already looking up at the door in await.

Lucky Spenser entered a moment later, his eyes seeking and finding Mr. Webber's immediately. Bruce couldn't define the gesture of emotion that came and went across the young man's face, but if he had to guess he would bet it was nerves.

He looked determined, his dull blue eyes sparking as he examined the unfamiliar surroundings. But he also looked a bit scared, out of his league somehow, but set on his actions.

Bruce motioned to the seat in front of him. " What can I do for you son?"

Lucky took another quick peek around the small office. He tipped his head in respect, sitting down cautiously as he finally made himself make eye contact with the older gentleman.

"Thank you for seeing me sir. I know you must be busy."

Bruce smiled warmly, remembering the awful awkward kid who used to tease his daughter relentlessly on the front lawn of their house almost everyday. He remembered the horrible mushroom cut he sported along with the baggiest jeans he could find. There wasn't a day that didn't go by when that kid didn't have a skateboard in his hand.

Now, sitting opposite his forty eight years, Mr. Webber couldn't believe it was the same person. Lucky was handsome, probably one of the best looking kids in their small town. His dark brown hair, blue green eyes, complimented his slight tan complexion. The only thing that marred his looks now was the ugly swollen bruise on his nose along with the one on his right eye. It was an ugly purple and fresh.

Lucky must have noticed him staring and he smiled sheepishly as Mr. Webber cleared his throat and straightened his tie.

Still, Lucky was built like a fireman, sturdy and ready for action.

Elizabeth would do fine with a man like him. The single thought should have pleased him, but it saddened him instead, knowing her future wouldn't be anywhere near Lucky Spenser's after Sunday.

" How's your family?"

" Fine." Lucky nodded, feeling the pictures in his coat pocket burning a hole there. " That's not why I'm here, sir."

" Well, I didn't think so. Does Elizabeth have anything to do with this?" he smirked.

Lucky shifted in his seat, wiping his palms across his worn jeans. " Yes, sir, in a round about way."

Sensing his nervousness, Mr. Webber tried to suppress a smile, but the muscles of his mouth refused to cooperate and beat him with an aging, but knowing grin. " I think I know why you are here and believe me, there's a no reason to be nervous."

" Sir?" Lucky's eyes squinted.

" My daughter, you like her."

Swallowing Lucky scratched at his knee, his eyes fixed on the small family portrait that tilted his way. " Elizabeth has always been special to me."

" She is." Mr. Webber grinned, agreeing wholeheartedly as he allowed himself to enjoy this small moment. " I know you and Elizabeth have always had a interesting relationship, or sorts."

" Yes, that's one way of putting it."

Chucking softly, Bruce leaned forward, his forearms coming to rest comfortably against the edge of the desk. " Son, I appreciate the respect you're showing here, but it isn't necessary."

A look of confusion passed over Lucky's face, but he waited, unsure of what the older man was leading to.

" You want to ask my daughter out. That is what this is about, no?"

" Um..."

" Well, like I said, it's nice of you to consider my approval, but Elizabeth is the one you should go talk to. Not me."

Leaning back into small wooden chair that was barely cushioned, Lucky smiled, repentantly, his features transforming drastically. " You really have no idea do you," he stated pityingly, but smug.

Something about the tone of his voice made Bruce still. There was a cold knowledge that had crept into the young man's tone that he didn't like. " Maybe you should get to the point then son."

Lucky didn't blink, didn't look away, didn't even try to hide the sudden satisfaction that flowed through him as he watched Mr. Webber recognize his own dumbfoundness.

So he got to the point. " Elizabeth isn't who you think she is."

When Mr. Webber didn't seek for an explanation, Lucky resisted the urge to rip out the pictures and blast him with the evidence he had. Instead he tempered himself, wanting the full impact of the joy this situation would bring.

" She's been seeing this guy, behind your back for some time. He's no good, sir. He threatened to kill me if I went near your daughter."

Finding his voice under the thick knot that had formed in his throat, Mr. Webber finally spoke. " Is that how…"

" Yes, sir." He nodded firmly. " Her boyfriend did this to me."

" No." Mr. Webber stood, kicking his chair away, calm in his knowledge that his daughter, Elizabeth, wasn't dating anyone and if she was, it wouldn't be someone of that character. " You must be mistaken," he smiled, sympathetically.

" I'm not sir." He stood along with him. " I saw them together at a motel-"

" Lucky." He stopped the treacherous words from continuing, not able to hear them. " Why would you say something like that about Elizabeth? I thought you two were friends?"

" We are. That's why I'm here, I'm scared for her. Every since she got involved with this guy she's changed. I can't get through to her, neither can Lulu. It's like she's a different person. I'm afraid for her."

Shaking his head, brushing away the information that hung freshly in the air between them, awaiting his absorption, Bruce came around the desk, sitting on the edge as he gave Lucky a direct look and answer.

" Whatever you're thinking is wrong. Elizabeth has been home. She's barely been out Lucky. Besides, she would never associate herself with someone like that and you know this. You know her. Listen I don't know what is going on between the two of you, but I wont be part of it. You need to talk to her."

" He did this to me!" Lucky's voice bounced against the walls of the room. " When I tried to talk to her, he came to the store and beat me up."

Bruce couldn't deny the rage he saw growing in the young man's face; how carefully Lucky tried to control it in front of him.

" I know you think Elizabeth is this perfect little angel, but she's not. I didn't believe it at first either," he paced the floor, than stopped in front of him. " Until I followed her. I found her with him at this motel outside of town. I couldn't-"

" Lucky, please. You must be mistaken." Bruce's hands trembled as he placed them firmly on Lucky's shoulder. " You must be."

Not breaking eye contact, Lucky dug into his coat pocket and fished out the group of perfectly shot candids out, plopping them on his desk. " She was there. She was with him."

His hands slid away, eyeing the first one instantly, but not really seeing them. His breathing grew rougher. " Who is he?"

The photos were spread out, blurry from his vantage point, but he could make out his daughter's shape and face. He'd know her or any other member of his family anywhere.

Lucky shrugged. " Outsider. Definitely not from around here."

Mr. Webber nodded, not sure why. He certainly didn't understand any of this. Everything Spenser was saying didn't fit Elizabeth or the type of man she liked. Not that he knew what his daughter thought of as attractive. Elizabeth was a mystery to him in a lot of ways, but speculating on whether she would go behind her family's back to run around with some criminal was definitely a negative certainty he could rely on.

" She's been different lately. Hasn't she? More closed off than usual, even for her. You never see her. She's being more secretive, slipping off only to find her hours later. Sir, I'm not lying…I would never do that to you."

" I know," Bruce finally tore his gaze away from the heap of photographs on his desk. " You have him on camera…with her?"

Lucky shifted under Bruce's searching gaze. " Yes, I knew you wouldn't believe me otherwise. All of this is so unlike Elizabeth. I could hardly believe it even when I saw it with my own eyes. But I knew I had to tell you. She's going to hurt herself and even if she hates me I don't care. As long as she's safe…that's all that matters."

Bruce smiled appreciating the words that came from the concerned young man in front of him. Still confident that there was a misunderstanding going on somewhere in this newfound mess, Bruce went on, " I know son." He squeezed his shoulder. " I know. I'm glad you came to me. I'm going to have myself a long talk with my daughter. Don't worry, she's in good hands."

"I know sir." Lucky turned, a small quick smile crossing his features as he parted. He glanced back, casting Mr. Webber a timid look of pleasure. " I'm just glad I could help."

Mr. Webber watched the door close before he grabbed the photos fanned out on the desk. Leafing through quickly, his hands began to shake. Something about this made sense, but he didn't want to believe it. Elizabeth had always been to herself. She wasn't a dater in general, why would she go to the total extreme and start dating some punk-

His hand froze on the last photo. It was the guy, the man, in front of a motel room. The door behind him was open but he was looking out.

Bruce's face scrunched together. Something about the man's face in the photo caught in recognition. He couldn't place where or when but he had met this man before. Somewhere.

The thought sunk inside him, making him reach for the door and call out to Betty before he had a chance to rationally think this over and figure out what to do.

" Sir?" Betty took in his frazzled features. " Is everything-"

" I need you to do me a favor, Betty." His hand came around her shoulder to guide her into the privacy of his office. When the door shut he turned around so quickly Betty almost lost her balance.

" Have you ever seen this man before?"

Betty darted her eyes between the photo held out to her and her longtime boss. " Sir? Is there something I can get you?"

He jerked his hand, making the pictures wobble in his hand. " Please Betty. Tell me if you've ever seen that man before. I need to know."

He handed her the last photograph when she continued to stare bewildering at him.

" The man…the man in the there…you've see him before? I know him from somewhere."

The more he said the more frightened he became at the possibility of who it could be. Bruce knew it wasn't some friendly out of towner he had bumped into. This was a man he met during business. Something about the way the man stood, his sharp features and cold manner triggered remembrance in him, he just couldn't place when and where.

" He does look familiar. I don't know…let me ask around."

" No." He snatched the picture from her hand, stuffing it out of order in the middle of the pile. " I'd rather no one knew about this."

" Mr. Webber…if you need to know, I can find out. Give me a couple of hours. I know a guy who knows almost everyone in this town and he has connections to Mr. Corinthos that have nothing to do with legitimate side of this work. He's confidential."

Peering down at the photo, his hand swept across the smooth surface. What other choice did he have. If this man was half as lethal as Lucky Spenser was claiming, he had to know and be prepared for what to do next.

Handing the photo over reluctantly, Bruce's gray eyes stared at his secretary of fifteen years. She had always been someone he could trust, but much had changed. People weren't all one thing and even the ones who appeared trustworthy often weren't.

Look at himself.

" Everything will be fine sir. Just give me a couple of hours and we'll get to the bottom of this." She cupped the hand that was at his side before sliding out the door, leaving Bruce alone with his thoughts.

Maybe they were too late. Maybe the danger had already fallen on him and his family and they were all just sitting ducks. The thought frightened him to his very core and he knew he had to get home. Sunday seemed too far away for him now.

" You're late."

Sonny smirked, his soft slippers hitting the slick surface with a slight imbalance. He rubbed his tired eyes with the back of his hand, peeking a look between his fingers at the clock opposite him on the wall.

" We said 10:30?" He retied the belt of his silk navy blue robe again, feeling it slip from the knot he had just tied a minute ago upstairs.

Not looking up, Jason continued to fish through the forgotten magazine on the coffee table. " Yeah. It's 11."

" Good to have you back man. You my nanny now." Sonny leaned his hand over the back of the couch. Jason took it instantly, gripping it quickly and flashing an even quicker smile his way before returning to the magazine in front of him.

" Just stating the obvious," Jason commented noncommittally, plopping the Newsweek next to his legs that were propped on the same finished coffee table. He saw Sonny glance there before turning to the wet bar.

" You know I hate it when you do that," he mumbled, his voice still caught in sleep.

He was already pouring himself a stiff drink when Jason finally met him at his side.

" Yeah I know."

Sonny eyed his partner from the corner of eye, shaking his head when Jason's eyes refused to dim from their sparkling glint. " Only you man."

He went around Jason, sitting at the end of the long extended couch. Exhaling a long breath Sonny patted the seat next to him. " Tell me what's going on man."

Jason, instead, came opposite him, sitting in the lone chair beside the fireplace. Shrugging his shoulders, he leaned into the deep pillowed cushion. " You probably know more than me."

" True," Sonny took another swallow of the dark liquid in the glass. " But I wasn't the one held up in my target's basement."

" Attic." Jason corrected, looking down.

" Whatever, how's the side?"

" Hardly feel it." Jason answered nonchalantly, automatically pressing the inside of his bicep into the healing flesh and feeling the large padded gauze there. He didn't know why he kept doing that. It was an unconscious move, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling the presence of the wound every couple of hours.

" You bleeding still? I could have my doc over here in less than hour." Sonny turned his head toward the door and Jason brought his hand up to silence him from calling a guard.

" Sonny." His boss glanced over at him. " I'm fine."

" Sure?"

" Don't I look it?"

" No." Sonny set the empty glass down. " Actually you look like shit. When's the last time you've seen the inside of a shower…or sunlight for that matter."

More annoyed than appreciative Jason held himself in check. " I came here straight from the road. Give me a break."

" That Elizabeth Webber didn't do such a great job of taking care of you I guess."

Reigning in the knee jerk reaction of anger that blindsided him, Jason swiftly recovered, shifting in his seat as his mouth twisted in a thoughtful pout . " It's fine. Can we talk business or what?"

" Don't you want to know how I knew it was Elizabeth and not her sister Samantha that took care of you?"

Jason shook his head almost imperceptibly, not breaking eye contact with the dark haired man. " I know you're thorough. I expected it, but this has nothing to do with business."

" This is business." Sonny straightened, pulling the robe tighter around his naked chest as he crossed his legs. A hint of severity crept in his voice as he spoke. " Elizabeth Webber is a part of this mission now. You understand that right?"

" I understand she saved my life." Jason informed him in a low voice that was clouded with memory.

" She certainly did and I'm sure you're grateful." Sonny's ebony eyes stared at his second in command, trying but failing to peel back a layer of the wall Jason's stoic features had morphed into.

" What went on between the two of you up there anyway?" Jason didn't tense like Sonny hoped he would, but something crossed and faded throughout his face.

Jason waited as silence stretched between them. His blue eyes gathered, guarding his expression as he tersely replied, " I don't think I like what you're implying."

Chuckling unabashedly, Sonny smoothed his hand down the silk material of his leg. " Chill man. She's a kid …I know." He shook his head as if he had been in the same predicament once. "I know you wouldn't go there."

Stretching out his legs Jason fingered the line of his sandy brow. He didn't like her name coming from Sonny's mouth. It made him angry and uncomfortable, but being a pro at schooling emotions that bubbled unexpectedly was his job. He couldn't show it and wouldn't walk away like he wanted desperately to. So he tried again to change the subject.

" How have things been here?"

Sonny lingered a beat before answering. " Good man," he smiled genuinely. " Business is the same, but good. No trouble. Prozzi was in town. He sent me the contracts and Benny looked them over. Everything was in there like we discussed."

" You signed?"

" Yeah…Prozzi's got a rep for being silent. His territories never been hit-"

" That's because he's new. I thought you were going to wait until he proved himself. Sonny, this guy is still pretty green. Our shipments don't need protection from someone barely in the game…"

" Jason, the guys rep was immaculate in Cuba. I talked to his other partners. He's never been busted once. Cops call him the ghost because they can never even get a lead on him. No matter what network he works out of."

" I think you should have waited. We're not that desperate yet."

" I disagree. It'll be fine. Stop being such a-"

Jason bit down a curse." Sonny."

" I'm the boss, remember?" Sonny pressed a hand into this chest. " Trust me."

" It's not you I don't trust," Jason shot back, frustrated with Sonny's impetuous behavior.

" You should have held off till the end of the year."

Unperplexed, Sonny smirked unapologetically. " What's done is done. Prozzi isn't the issue anyway. Bruce Webber is."

Jason felt icy awareness quake below the flesh of his body. He ignored it. He was beginning to do that a lot. " What do you want me to do?"

Scratching the side his face, Sonny didn't need to contemplate his answer. " I need you to finish what you started."

" Kill him?"

Sonny didn't blink as he granted Jason a dark look. " And his family."

Jason swallowed, knowing it was coming. He kept repeating the words in his head all the way home, thought of a million different answers and none of them fit. " I don't think that's possible."

" Why not?" Sonny's words sounded quieter than his thundering black eyes.

Jason's thumb absently swiped across the arm of the chair. " It's sloppy. They might be expecting it."

" I visited Bruce."

Jason's eyes met Sonnys' in surprise.

" He'll be there. The fuck is arrogant enough to think I have no idea."

" You threatened him?" Jason leaned a bit forward, kept his voice and face neutral.

" He's a bit slow but I think he got the general message. He's an accountant Jason. He's going to try and suck up to me to make this right. He doesn't have a clue."

" Why the family?"

" Elizabeth saw you. She knows-"

" She doesn't know who I am. I never told her." His voice rose.

Sonny nodded, seeming to agree, but on a completely different train of thought. " If her father is killed it wont be long before she puts two and two together. I can't take that chance."

Jaw clenched Jason looked away. His voice was harsh and hoarse when he spoke.

" Tell me exactly what you want me to do?"

Sonny stood, adjusting his robe again, than playing with the gold pinkie ring on his finger. When he finally decided to meet Jason's hard glare Sonny's was colder, more unforgiving and ruthless than Jason had remembered him to be.

His voice was hushed but deadly in its' calm. " Go to their house, make it look like a robbery and execute them. All of them."

Jason didn't respond. Sonny didn't hesitate to ask his next question. " Can you do that?"

Jason stood, his granite stare never wavering. His licked his lips, swallowed the burning lump lodged in his throat and answered with a voice just as businesslike and dead and his boss. " Yes."


	18. Chapter 18

_The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. Saint Jerome_

_**Saturday Morning **_

The shrill of the phone ringing made Bruce Webber bounce out of his position in bed; hitting the wooden headboard along his journey up. A spray of short groggy curses flooded his mouth and he did little to cover them. He eyed the digital red block numbers on his nightstand.

Almost eleven.

He never slept that late, but then again he never went to bed at five in the morning. He had spent the whole night in his study, waiting for the call that never came. At four he decided to finish packing the little odds and ends that he promised Carolyn he would get to for her.

Five am came and went and he realized he couldn't hold off. He was getting too old for these sorts of hit and misses. His body was worn, teetering on it's last good tank of gas before it gave out completely.

He was barely grasping the fact that he was uprooting his family and they were going on the run for the rest of their lives, but _this_-this whole thing with Elizabeth had hit him square in the side like a surprise attack out of nowhere. How was he supposed to deal with this when he didn't know all the facts?

Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe it was more innocent than he and Lucky had presumed, but Bruce needed to be sure. He'd rather play this dangerous, assuming all the worst possible scenarios than go in blind and optimistic.

He peeked over his shoulder, knowing his wife wouldn't be there. She was probably calling the neighbors, covering their story that they were going on vacation and would be back in a week. He still had to call Benny and let him think so as well.

He picked up the phone, lodging it between his shoulder and chin as he pulled one of his slippers on. " Hello?"

" Sir, Mr. Webber, it's Betty."

He straightened the second he recognized her voice. " Betty," he cleared his throat as his stomach hopped over his heart. " Did you find out what I needed?"

Betty cleared her voice as well. He could her breathing on the other end, the rattle through her words. " Yes…sir, you're not going to like this."

" Tell me. Now."

" It's Jason. Jason Morgan."

There was a moment of relief before recognition took over. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but it wasn't someone he was personally associated with and that was a good thing, but his respite, unfortunately, was meteoric when the last name ricocheted off his flailing memory .

Corinthos & Morgan.

It still didn't click though.

" Jason Morgan?" He played dumb, hoping the worst fears that he was jumping to were results of paranoia. " Should I know that name?" he trembled in his denial.

" Sir, yes." She sounded anxious herself. Her words were tinged with a secret she didn't want to know as she whispered close to the phone. " Jason Morgan is Sonny Corinthos' silent partner. He's Sonny's right hand man."

Mr. Webber gulped, one of the pictures flashed in his head- his daughter kissing this man, his arms wrapped around her, intimately. " Right hand man?" his nostrils flared as he gulped the barrage of information down.

" Yes, he's Sonny's number one hitman."

Everything went black and silent for a long moment. Everything, including the air, seemed to tense around him. All he saw was his Elizabeth's face being touched by that a man…that murder. " Thank you Betty," he answered automatically. " You've been a great help."

" Sir, what's going on? Is someone in trouble?"

" No," he swiftly dismissed, carrying on a lighter but forced tone. " I have to go now. Please, thank your friend and tell no one what we've discussed. Please Betty."

" Of course not, but Mr. Webber-"

" Thank you Betty," he cut through, " Bye." He clicked the phone off as all the breath was robbed from his body. He bent over as the stark visuals of his daughter and this man played through him, killing his sanity in small inches.

This wasn't possible. This couldn't be happening. His Elizabeth with…it made no amount of sense whatsoever. She was always home. Always with them. How the hell did she have time to meet-

Then it hit him. Like a bolt of lightning with its' own personal message of clarity came down to strike his thoughts dead in their tracks. His fingers curled into the edge of the mattress. A cold sweat replaced the heat coursing through him and he shook with the images that grazed and amplified as growing terror burgeoned within him.

Jason Morgan wasn't dating his daughter. He was there to kill him. He was the one who broke into his office, who sabotaged his work and erased every trace of his files.

This wasn't about romance, this was about payback. They were already too late. Jason was going to kill him and his family and Elizabeth was a means to an end.

Jumping from his position on the bed, he pushed himself to move, forcing his led feet up and down the stairs. Halfway down them he heard his wife humming in the kitchen and called out to her before he had reached the last step.

" Where is she?"

Carolyn checked off something on the piece of paper she was devoting her attention to. She looked so complacent and calm, so ordinary for someone who was planning to take up their lives and run for the mob. " Who dear?"

Her soft reply aggravated him further. " Elizabeth. Where the hell is she?"

Dropping the pen in its' place, Carolyn greeted her husband with a quizzical look.

" What is the matter with you? You look horrible."

" Answer me Carolyn. Where is our daughter?"

He stepped further toward her. His eyes were crazy, bugged out of their sockets. His face was ashen as he approached her with an aggressiveness that almost possessed him.

" Bruce, what is the matter?"

" Answer me." He gripped her arm, drawing her next to him.

Carolyn tsked with her tongue. She never understood or appreciated drama. It was a waste of time and energy getting your feathers ruffled for no good reason. Having a cool and collected approach to any situation always made a choice or matter seem less difficult or impossible; she didn't know why no one else in her family couldn't mimic her behavior.

" She's out." She yanked her arm, straightening the easily wrinkled fabric of her shirt.

" Out where?"

Carolyn shook her head, eyeing her husband under her mascared lashes. " She said something about saying goodbye to Lulu. Why? What has you so frazzled dear?"

" Trouble," he turned away from her, making himself sit on the kitchen chair as the fear buried him alive. " We've got trouble."

" Elizabeth, hey…what's going on?"

Lulu stepped out from the small foyer, closing the door behind her as she noted her friend's usual state of disarray from her hair to her sweats and baggy sweater. She was holding out the clothes she had borrowed coupled with a sad but grateful smile.

" That son of bitch turned you down." Lulu went to console Elizabeth with a hug, but Elizabeth stopped her, holding her hands up and moving to the side.

" I'm fine. It wasn't as bad as you think." Elizabeth shrugged, unable to tolerate the pitiful look she would receive if she truly went over each humiliating, detailed specific of that day. " Thanks for the clothes. It was a nice gesture…I mean… it was great idea anyway."

" You came all the way over here just to return the clothes. Hey, if you want to talk about what happened-"

" No," Elizabeth hastily cut in. She knew she looked horrid. She hadn't slept all night and she couldn't even remember the last time she had had a whole eight hours of sleep without interruption. " Actually….I wanted to come and say goodbye."

Lulu stopped her inspective glare that Elizabeth hated so much. She knew Lulu could see right through her transparent armor of coolness, but she be damned if she broke in front of her.

"Goodbye?"

" Yeah…my families' going on vacation."

" Now? Aren't you leaving for college in a few days?" Lulu flopped herself on the stone step, disappointment making her voice shriek a bit.

Elizabeth bit down on the inside of her gum. Her eyelids burned and the pain in her gut continued to eat away at her. She sat beside her, taking her friend's freckled hand in hers, memorizing Lulu's unique softness and she would never be able to reach out for it again. This would be the last time for them together.

" Yeah, well, my family wanted a little alone time without the rest of the world interrupting. They're, ya know, being parents. They're proud of me but they're sad I'm leaving so we're just going for a quick get away. Just a few days."

" Oh, few days? Sounds…painful."

Elizabeth laughed along with Lulu as she rested her head against Elizabeth's shoulder.

"It's not that bad. They mean well."

Lulu propped her chin on her shoulder, her brow twisting in disbelief at her friend's words. " They always do," she answered dryly.

" Hey," Elizabeth nudged her just as Lulu nudged her.

" Hey yourself. You're being weird tonight."

The ripple of tension that entered she couldn't control or cease. Lulu felt it, her eye's following the apparent rigidity that entered and settled in her shoulders. " Stress…I haven't been myself lately. I'm just so tired and I'm trying to remember everything for school. I know I'm going to forget something."

" It's more than that," Lulu prodded. " Is this still about that guy?"

" No. It has nothing to do with him," Elizabeth stated, turning to meet her friend's worried manner. " I'm fine. Trust me. I'm just a little sad. I mean I'm going to miss your skanky butt."

" Stop it. You keep trying to avoid things you don't want to talk about. I wanna know why."

" Lulu, please."

" No, what's wrong? I want my friend back. The one who used to confide in me. The one who used to laugh with me for hours and make fun of the stupid things that only we got- where is she? What the hell happened to you?"

" It's not that simple. I cant."

" Cant or wont? You used to tell me everything. What changed? Did I do something, say something?" A tear fell across her cheek, glistening over her skin.

The small tears shouted out to her. Her stomach churned, each lie thickening and sticking in her throat. " It's not you," she heard herself cry, taking her friend's hand in hers again.

" Please…Lulu, believe that. You have to understand…things are just going on inside me. I cant tell anyone. You know it's hard for me to share and I-"

" Not with me!" Lulu yelled defensively as she ripped her hand from Elizabeth's. " Never with me. Something is off…What, I'm not cool enough anymore because you're going off to college and starting your new mature life with real people your age?"

" You know that's not true. How could even think that?"

" I don't know what the hell to think. Every time I see you it gets more and more awkward between us. It's not the same, something has changed. Is this guy really worth it?"

Suddenly her defensives kicked in. Her hands sliced in the air, silencing Lulu's misdirected but slightly accurate accusations. " I already told you this has nothing to do with him. He isn't in my life. It didn't work out."

" So you've decided to become like Sam now. It doesn't work out so you make yourself sick because of some asshole with no taste. I thought you were better than that."

Tiny needles pricked at her face, burning small searing holes all over. The sharp pain didn't compare to the digging hole that gnawed interminably at her gut. The breath was stolen from her lungs and she gasped as the tears in her eyes broke free of her stubborn hold.

" How could you say something like that to me" she whispered.

" It's true," Lulu answered with no remorse. " You look like shit. You walk around like a zombie. Nothing, no one seems to hold your interest to lift you from this daze you're always in. I miss you…I do…but you, Elizabeth, not this shell you've turned into."

The weight around pressed against her. She shook her head as she sniffled. Her nose was cold, her eyes were bleary, small pricks jabbing and gathering at the corners of her eyes. She was so tired.

" You're right. You're right about everything."

" Elizabeth…I didn't mean-"

" No, let me finish." She wiped the wet from her cheeks with the back of her hands, licking the tears away from her lips as well. " I know I've been different, but there are things that happened that were out of my control. I never…never meant to hurt you. Or anyone else for that matter. You have to believe me when I say that."

" It's more than that."

" The guy I told you about…" She paused, forcing herself to go on even though her mind and body rebelled against her training not to think of him. " …He rejected me. He didn't want me. At least not the way I wanted him. It was all me…it was just this thing I took to far. And he's gone anyway so it doesn't matter now."

Lulu gripped her elbow, wrapping her arms around her to hug her. " I'm sorry."

" Don't be." Elizabeth shifted away. " I'm a big girl. It happens to everyone. I'm okay. Really."

" Maybe if you say that fifty more times you'll actually believe it." Lulu pushed her friend's hands away, embracing her despite the weary battle Elizabeth put up.

Her arms were so warm and tight Elizabeth battled the swell of tears that threatened to fall. It felt so nice, so safe. Elizabeth never wanted to leave this moment.

Lulu smoothed the silky brown hair gathered together in a sloppy ponytail. " I love you," she whispered into the air, knowing full well both girls detested any sort of mushiness whatsoever, but not being able to stop herself.

Elizabeth smiled, the tears falling freer now as she gripped her friend and held on for dear life. " I love you more."

Both reluctantly withdrew, slowly letting go. Lulu held on to her ponytail, yanking it playfully so Elizabeth would look at her. " It's just a few days. Jeez, when did you become so hyperemotional."

Staring at her friend, picturing the many faces, the changes that embodied the young girl who had become like a kindred spirit to her, Elizabeth choked back the rising wave of emotion as she finally made herself take a step back. " Take care of yourself, okay?"

" I'll try not to fall down while your gone. Not too much anyway." Lulu joked halfheartedly, her eyebrows lowering in confusion.

" Just be safe. And be…okay."

" You too. Try to flirt with someone…you know a guy, preferably around the same age range, who doesn't look like a troll."

Elizabeth laughed in spite of the turmoil wrecking her insides. " I'll try."

" Love ya." Lulu hopped up the steps, her hair swinging back as she turned to wave.

" Yeah," Elizabeth waved back unenthusiastically, her hand limp at her side. The urge to cry filled her head, but there were no more tears left inside her to weep. The screen door closrd then the wooden door. " Love ya."

O'Mally's had its' usual packed crowd. Wall to wall twenty-somethings filled the room along with a mix of underage teens and occasional roadie or biker thrown in. Jason sat in his usual spot, the back booth, all the way in the left corner. It was private with the least amount of chance for interaction. He was on his fifth beer and had no plans of stopping. Not tonight.

He checked his watch for the third time. Ritchie was late. He hated when people were late. Unless they were dying or a natural disaster had occurred he couldn't tolerate the minor but exasperating vice.

He pressed his back into the wooden seat, leaning his long legs against the booth opposite him. He was so fucking tired, thinking straight was becoming an almost impossible task. He tried to sleep, tossed and turned, he ate but didn't have any appetite and now, drinking, something he always considered relaxing, a voluntary pleasure, was turning into his own personal obstacle.

Nothing felt right anymore. That click in his head where he knew he was okay, where he was happy he was home and glad to be over with the nonsense of the inconvenience never came. He survived death, being shot. He should feel on top of the world, but where was the elation? Where was the relief that it was over? He had done his job. He had left nothing behind, no leads and yet the situation left off unfinished to him.

He sighed harshly, biting down, grinding his teeth together so violently with the rage to break something. The unease stirring inside him- it had nothing to do with the job.

He had left her. Alone, unsafe, unprotected and he had just left her. The girl was completely in the dark, stumbling around, looking for answers to questions she had no clue about and he had left her with nothing.

And now he was being sent back to kill her and her family.

" Fuck." His hand came down, slamming the table, the beer rattled, spinning on it's bottom. Jason watched it spin a couple times before wedging his fingers between the glass and ceasing it's uncontrollable turns.

" Bad night?"

He rolled the bottle cap between his fingers, not acknowledging the woman over him, not needing to. " Hey Jen."

She had been eyeing him all night, like every night he showed his face here. And like every other time she took his drink order, giving him attention, doing little to hide the allusion that she wanted a lot more than that.

" You know it's Jamie." She twisted to lean her overly curved hip against the edge of the table where he was sitting. " I've told you a hundred times," she teased lightly.

" And you know you don't care," He looked up, his usual detailed appraisal of her replaced with a noncommittal nod and a small but twinkling smile. " So why act like you do?"

A small but flirtatious grin spread across her crooked lips. " Missed you these past weeks. Where ya been?" She leaned a bit more forward, lending an inviting sight for Jason to peruse her ample cleavage. " You not seeing someone behind my back, are ya?" she chided in a sultry voice.

" You know I don't do relationships." His eyes slipped a second for a generous view of her mountainous bosoms. His eyes followed his words with a deliberate slow quality. " Jamie," he enunciated, before bringing the bottle back to his mouth.

Her intentions were blaringly obvious even a deaf monk could read the signs. She slid closer, twisting her red flaming hair between her fingers as her hip brushed his shoulder in a blatant undertone of need. He had anticipated this all evening, the minute he locked eyes with her as he sat down in his usual spot and waited. She always flirted with him, always wanted more and he never showed any sign that he was interested.

For some reason, now, he wanted to. Wanted to be with her, hear her tawdry outfit rip as it hit the floor right before he took her. She wasn't a bed person either. He could tell. Right up against the wall, fast hard slams that would knock her heart into her back and give her lock jaw for a week- that would be her style.

He knew it would be easy. He banked on it. But when he swept his gaze over her and felt nothing, waiting for his body to respond as it stalled on the edge, all that consumed him was cold disappointment. The flare of desire he expected never woke.

He frowned at her, her eyes heavy with makeup, vacantly encouraging a reaction it would never receive. So instead he callously tossed the cap aside and ordered another drink. He was upset and surprised with himself. This sexy available woman was offering herself to him and all he wanted to do was to turn and leave.

His words came out shorter than he intended.

" I'll take another beer." His bland reply doused the simmering moment; cutting off her superficial pursuit of his earlobe as her teeth grazed the shell.

" Jasey, what's the matter with you?" she purred, nipping his cheek swiftly and leaving a red stain from her ruby lips. " You turn into a eunich while you were gone?"

Scratching the side of his newly shaved cheek, Jason played innocent even though a scowl was forming over his dark brow. " What?"

Her hand came up on her hip, attitude reigning in her features. " What's up your ass?"

" Nothing," he shrugged, placing the empty bottle on her tray. " Just thirsty."

Ritchie suddenly appeared as the thick crowd of bar goers parted. His furry eyebrows were set in worry and he had this look that told Jason he wasn't exactly thrilled to be summoned here.

" Hey man," Ritchie ignored the waitress who was throwing daggers at his boss.

Jason unzipped his jacket, tossing a cold glare at the woman who was having a hard time taking a gentle hint. " You're late."

" Sonny wouldn't let me go till I checked with the warehouse guards and made sure they did rounds. He's being extra paranoid lately for some reason." Ritchie darted a look between Jason and the sassy red head. " I'll have a Corona."

" Jasey-" she started.

Sighing irritability, Jason pretended not to hear her or notice her childish whine. " He said a Corona. I'm still waiting for my beer."

She made a noise that in any other setting would be considered highly unladylike as she dug for her pad. " Right," she turned to the man opposite him and used her invitation on him, " If you get done early with him, come on over to the bar. I get lonely sometimes."

Ritchie, unlike his boss, politely smiled and nodded. His face reddened a bit in embarrassment, but he didn't respond, afraid any sort of answer would encourage her further. From the look Jason was giving him, death might also be a potential certainty and he was definitely not a gambling man when it came to toying with Jason Morgan's bad side.

A whiff of perfume permeated the smoky atmosphere just as Jamie huffed off and left for the bar. Neither men turned around to watch, both were two fixed on the dangerous task they were about to carry out.

Jason leaned in, his hand splaying on the wood of the table. " Did you get it?" he whispered.

Ritchie eyed the crowd around, his hand pulling the papers out of suit jacket as he scanned the area around them. " Yeah, it's all here. Maine was the best location I could get. Max just set the place up so no one knows about it."

" Good." Jason nodded. " Everything's set then?"

" We leave tomorrow."

Jason cleared his throat, the quality of voice scratchy as he pointed his finger at the guard.

" You know there's no turning back after this."

" I know." Ritchie confirmed, his answer quick and steady.

" You cant go back. Once we get a hold of them-"

" Boss, I get it." Ritchie interrupted, understanding transforming his usual soft expression serious. " I wouldn't do this unless I thought it was right. I'm there, one hundred percent."

Nodding, Jason grabbed his jacket. " 7 am. Have the SUV parked behind back. I'm taking my bike."

" You got it boss."

Ritchie stood and Jason patted him on the shoulder. " We're doing the right thing," he affirmed, but it didn't erase the looming fear that steadied his guard's face.

Jason walked past him. Ritchie watched as he threw the door open and left without looking back. Yeah, they were doing the right alright, but why did it feel so wrong?


	19. Chapter 19

_The truth is rarely pure and never simple Oscar Wilde_

_**Sunday Morning **_

The realization that she was, in fact, leaving the place she had called home for the last twelve years of her life still hadn't punctured her. Even as she stared into the vacant empty space of her former room, Elizabeth's brain couldn't grasp on to any sort of reality of the situation. And she really was trying to.

She was always a late bloomer when it came to emotions. Truths, situations, usually took their time to settle, after a few good days of stewing around inside her, after they had pretty much saturated every nerve and she couldn't do anymore than she'd react. She'd react like hell.

She was a dam. It wasn't like she enjoyed watching herself suffocate until she thought she couldn't take it anymore and crying and screaming where her only source of sanity before she ripped every hair out of head.

Showing emotion just never came natural to her. Hiding them was better, neater on everyone involved. Elizabeth found it a lot easier for those around her, including herself, if she just didn't think about how a certain situation made her feel. Talking usually just made a person focus on the pain more. And nobody wanted that. What the hell was so productive about opening yourself up anyway?

It sure as hell hadn't done her good in the past forty eight hours.

Elizabeth pretended she didn't visual his image, his face dark and stormy, graze across her mind. She pretended because sometimes lies were easier to handle then the truth even if you knew exactly just what they were.

But this, Elizabeth's weary gaze drifted down to the rug, then up to the ratty wallpaper she always procrastinated in wanting to change and never did, how did any of the bare space between her and her memories sum up her meager eighteen years of life?

It was certainly a depressing thought that she couldn't think of one good memory, one key hold on what she was leaving and why it was going to be her strength for the future.

Blank, bare, void…her mind was like a tomb.

" Elizabeth, come on!" Her mother bellowed from the stairs. " You're not getting out of carrying stuff. Your sister's helping out. I want you down here in five minutes."

The accompanying sound of her mother's voice and the urgent need to understand the reasons why her life was abruptly being cut off sparked off something. Moisture thick and unwarranted announced itself in her eyes and the burning lump in her throat mocked away mercilessly, tightening in her throat.

If this really was her home, her place of refuge, why had she been trying so hard to run from it all this time? Shouldn't she be crying because she was going to miss her room, the smell of her mother's cooking that always seemed to linger in the hallway, the way Dad's study light was always the last light to go out at night?

She shouldn't be crying because she was seeking for attachment, for nostalgia that never was. She was frustrated. She hated being in the dark about things. Most of all she hated being so backward when it came to how normal humans reactions and how she always managed to wander a step behind.

" Elizabeth! Did you hear me?"

" I'm coming." Her voice, this morning, was being difficult and for some reason wouldn't activate, giving her a hoarse rasp with barely any volume. She didn't care.

She didn't look back as she closed the door. There was no use in trying to scrounge up some kind of farewell that would only end being an act. A room was a room.

But that wasn't true either. She glanced tentatively at the stairs that led to the attic. Some doors were better left unopened. She wasn't going to kill herself in remembering him. She wasn't going to relive moments that she was being forced to regurgitate like some twisted movie stuck on repeat in her head.

The torment of her reality was hell enough. The memories, he, was going to have to stay buried along with everything else. She had taken a risk, put her heart on the line like every one in life has to do at one time or another, and she had come up barren and empty hearted. Served her right for listening to anyone in the first place; she should have stuck to her guns like she normally did.

She flopped down the stairs, scuffing her worn sneakers across the rug thoughtlessly; her leisure stride in pace with her stumbling regrets.

Supposedly he had wanted her. He had said it, right to her face. There was no mistaking the flush rushing through his skin as his blue eyes glazed over with a crazy demand to take. It was there, it had barreled over her senses like a charging bull.

But she was also naïve as hell. Men wanted woman all the time, but want didn't always run in the same company as emotions. He found her attractive? Yeah, but what did that say when the same man had been delirious with a fever, bleeding from a gunshot wound for a week, and could barely see her through a tiny window with minimal natural light? Besides, he probably hadn't been with a real woman, a woman more his type, for a good while.

He wanted her and she…she didn't know what the hell she wanted.

None of this served to warm or comfort her. He still left. He still never looked back. And, unlike his curious questionable attraction to her, the reality was he wasn't coming back, he wasn't going to call and say he missed her. For some reason, Jason didn't look like the type who would call just to say that.

" Standing there and day dreaming isn't considered help, Elizabeth."

Her mother huffed, aiming her finger at the box at the foot of the stairs.

" While you were upstairs lolly gagging, your father and sister have been working. This is no time to dawdle. What is the matter? Out of the all the days to be acting this way…honestly Elizabeth I don't have the patience. Not today," she clipped exasperation rolling off her like a tidal wave.

" Sorry," was all Elizabeth could mutter. She was right.

Immediately she grabbed the box and leaned the full weight of it into the middle of her frame as she waddled outside, shifting the heaviness of the box along with her disjointed moves.

Her mother, her hawkish glare, fully intact, zeroed in on her and wouldn't relent;

typical beginning of the day for them, typical ending to another closed chapter.

Elizabeth might not have known where she was going, but it really didn't matter in the end. A place didn't change who you were or your circumstances. You took whatever baggage you brought with you in life.

That was what sucked most of all.

8

" Hey."

" Hey yourself. Aren't you supposed to be working?"

Lucky popped one of the baby carrots Lulu was cutting into his mouth, letting out a cracking crunch before he answered. " Got off early. You wanna go to a movie or something?"

" Na," Lulu responded, distracted. Lucky reached around to grab another carrot. She went to swat his hand but he dodged her lame attempt. " Those are the for the stew dumbass. Stop. You know mom likes a lot of carrots."

He ignored her, plopping onto the nearest counter and scarfing down the small piece in one quick swoop. " Don't tell me you have plans with Elizabeth?"

Lulu shook her blonde head; her chopping pace slowing along with her words.

" No...actually she's going away."

" What?"

" Yeah, her family decided to go on this mini vacation thing before Elizabeth left for school."

Lucky stared into space, his brow wrinkling over his eyes and he pondered the information. " That's kinda odd. Don't you think? Isn't Elizabeth leaving for school soon?"

" That's what I said. Who knows. You know how her family is. They've always been kinda secretive and weird that way. Besides," she heaved out, brushing a falling hair away from her shoulder, " Elizabeth could probably use it. She has been very….I dunno, on edge lately. Something's off."

" Bad?"

" Yeah, bad." Lulu defined with a harsh roll of her eyes. " Elizabeth…I've never seen her like this. She's usually too busy fixing everyone else's problems to think about herself. She's been so up and down lately. I don't get it." Lulu conceded, talking mainly to herself. " I just wish I could help."

" Yeah," Lucky relaxed, fighting the smile that spilled across his lips. He wiped the invisible food from around his mouth. " Maybe she just needs someone to talk to."

" I tried." Lulu shrugged. " I don't know what else there is. You know Elizabeth's locked up tighter than a clam."

" Maybe," Lucky drawled," Someone new. Sometimes it's easier to open up to people you don't normally do."

That made her stop in mid slice. " Like who?"

Lucky lifted a shoulder, his gaze innocent as he searched hard for an answer he already was in supply of. " Me."

8

Her father had been giving her the cold shoulder all morning.

The only reason Elizabeth had noticed was because he had never once done it before. He wasn't a man who froze up or even carried a grudge for longer than an hour.

That was her mother's mode of operation.

At first she thought she was just overanalyzing. Today wasn't a good day to judge. They were all going through their own form or mourning, saying goodbye to a place and life none of them would ever see again. It was a trial big enough to bring any one person to their knees.

But it wasn't the general gloom of their predicament that was rearing the unusual act of the silence from her father. He was talking fine with Sam. He even laughed at one of her pathetic fashion jokes as they loaded only the necessities.

" Don't you think we're taking too much?" she supplied lowly even though her suggestion was unwanted.

" We're taking enough. We have to live."

Elizabeth brushed her gritty hands together, the dust collected on her palms whooshing off in a cloud of dirt. " I thought this was supposed to look like we were going on vacation. Taking your china doesn't exactly look unsuspicious."

" Those were my mother's Elizabeth." She replied defensively. " I will not leave them for someone else. They'll just be confiscated and I won't have that. No one will notice anyway." Her voice betrayed her put together demeanor with a shake that signaled to Elizabeth that she was hanging from her last good nerve.

" Right." Elizabeth spoke from the doorway, eyeing her father again as he mounted the small steps, gave her swift cool look, and breezed past her.

The sky above her was a gray canopy, threatening bad weather with small rumbles and light teasing drizzles. The weather perfectly suited her mood, her outlook on this life awaiting them. She eyed the blue rental minivan like a death trap.

" I don't see why we can't take our own car." She turned, the direction of the question landing on her father who was the only person left in the room with her.

He continued to sort through the few boxes of knick knacks left. " A lot of people use rentals when they go on vacation Elizabeth."

" Yeah, but-"

" But nothing. When my boss realizes we're not coming back it will be a lot harder to track a rental under an alias name then the family car. This is safer."

" Right, safer," she mumbled, unconvinced and moody.

He retired his movements only to lean on the box before standing to his full height. He expelled a short breath, clearly agitated. " What's the matter?"

The question triggered her anger, but she let it simmer underneath the trap door of her brewing temperament. " The fact that you can actually say that with a straight face scares me Dad."

" I already apologized. I'm doing what's best for this family," he replied stonily. His words bouncing off like a harsh whip to Elizabeth's ears. " You know I'm doing this for all of us…that is something I won't apologize for. Ever."

She finally made herself face him. Not quite sure it was her father who was talking to her since he sounded more like a distant stranger. " This isn't what's best and you know it. What's best is to stay here and live in our home. Tommy should be learning how to read in this room. Sam should be telling you she's engaged wh-"

" This is not helping!"

" Don't pretend you are doing what is best. We are running because we have to. Because we have no other options and the kicker is you haven't even told us why. Why dad? Why are we doing this? Tell me!"

Her mother ran down the stairs faster and more unladylike than Elizabeth had ever witnessed before. " What are you two shouting about?" Stop it this instant. Enough…what are the neighbors going to think?"

Her father's cold gray eyes never left Elizabeth, the weight of his stare cracking the fragile atmosphere like it was leaning on thin ice. " Your mother's right."

Elizabeth ignored them both. " What's wrong with you?"

" I'm not sure what you mean, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth, he rarely used her real name except when he was lecturing her and Sam on some rule they had broken. Well, a rule Sam had broken but Elizabeth was usually thrown in for just- in- case purposes.

She ventured closer, skating around the unknown elephant in the room and not knowing how to get around it. " Dad, what's going on? You're acting weird."

She tried again, confused, wanting answers to questions she was in the dark about. " Did something else happen? You're acting different and you know it. Why?" her voice was edging close to desperation.

Her mother sighed, impatient in her maternal attempts to soothe the escalating tension. " Elizabeth, stop being hysterical. It's bad enough Sam is going to be crying half the way. ..we don't need you to."

Neither of them seemed to notice or take in the words of the woman standing in between them.

The small thread of control snapped inside her. Her father's gaze grew more and more unapproachable, like she was standing at one end of a dark tunnel and he was at the other end. She was reaching out, trying to hold on and he was….it was like he wasn't even there.

" Answer me!" she demanded in a throaty bark.

" Whoa," Sam slid the wooden door closed. " I can hear you guys from the car. This life in hiding isn't going to work if you're going to be hysterical all the time. Nice time to start your meltdown process Liz." She batted her sister's shoulder, but Elizabeth was unresponsive as always.

Her father's readied silence broke the awkward and timid hold unfolding around them.

" How could you."

There was no misinterpreting the venomous sting of his uncaused accusation.

Faltering Elizabeth glanced between her mother and sister, her eyes moving in slow motion. " Dad, w-what-"

" How naïve can you be? How could allow yourself and the rest of this family to be put in danger like that?" Already stomping toward her Elizabeth was caught off guard, her chin wobbling as tears rose and fell over her eyelids.

" Dad, I don't know what you're saying. Mom?" She choked back the urge to scream, a pleading gaze dying at her mother's feet when she realized her mother was as in the dark about her husband's abrupt change of conversation as she was.

" Don't look to your mother for help." Rage sparked in his orbs, firing a message of betrayal Elizabeth couldn't miss; a look that would haunt her forever. " I know about the man you're seeing."

" The man I'm seeing…" her words faded between them. How could he… " Dad, it's not what you think…I was just-"

Words, nonsensical and jumbled fought for freedom, but her brain, her throat and lungs were too cramped to speak, to explain. The loss of coherent thought mashed together with everything else rolling around through her. A million and one questions nudged to drive for control.

Her father fished for something in the back of his jean pocket. When he found it his stare, if possible, grew darker. He whipped it out, taking Elizabeth's hand roughly and slapping it in her open quivering palm.

" The man…the man you were seeing…"

Elizabeth looked down, blurry eyed. The images in the photograph took shape, color splashing across the small photograph as her father's words rang out like an alarm.

"…He was sent here to kill me."

8

The truth and pure silence was a deadly combination. It handled you not the other way around; forcing clarity, forcing the ugliness of reality down your throat like an imprisoned captive at the mercy of his captor.

The picture lay flat in her palm, shaking like a leaf in the wind in her hand. She memorized Jason in that small minute, his profile, the weary look of defeat in his eyes as he looked out at something. She knew exactly where he was and what he had been looking at out and it did a peculiar twisting to her insides.

Embarrassment rushed over her and she found her words caught and stuck to her tongue. All she knew was there was an explanation for all of this. There was a misunderstanding somewhere between the lie of Jason being her boyfriend and being a killer.

She just had to find it and to do that she had to be calm, rational. Everything she prided herself on being.

She licked her parched lips, coming back to the present moment and realizing her parents and sister were staring at her, hard and unforgiving.

" Elizabeth…" her mother's nervous jitter odd seeking her out. " Explain yourself."

She was on trial and the judge and jury had already convicted her. She couldn't explain with them looking at her like that. She walked past her father, releasing herself from the small hovering circle they had formed around her.

" I know that man. He…uh…he needed my help." She hated how weak her account of the situation sounded to her. " I helped him, that's all. It's not what you think," she laughed softly though the last thing she felt was any sort of mirth.

Her father turned, greeted her with a just as much formidable coolness as she was exuding. Her statement hadn't pierced his reserve. She could tell he was still very much seeking, waiting.

His short clipped words clashed directly with his practiced self-restraint. " How did you meet him?"

" I …well… I kinda of stumbled into him…he was hurt and I helped."

" Stop being evasive Elizabeth." Her mother ordered. It was the first time in Elizabeth's life that she was afraid her mother was going to march over and slap her in the face.

" He told me not to tell. Listen," she dragged her hand through her head, swallowing the panic that kept dimming and flaring in her. " I know it looks bad. I know I did something behind your back and now, especially now, it seems like it could mean something, but Jason-"

His name sent off a black fire of hate and fear in her father's eyes. It stopped her cold.

" Jason?" he rattled angrily. " So it's Jason. Jason and you are friends? Is that what you are telling me? You have become friends with your father's murder?" His mouth shifted to the side in an angry frown. He was completely unrecognizable.

" No he wasn't…Dad, I…" She jumped to free herself of words that were caging her, but nothing surfaced. Jason wasn't a murder. She knew that much. He was criminal that -she could face and even admit that, but killer? If he really was a killer why hadn't he killed her to get to him?

" Did you bring that man here?" He didn't wait to ask again, furiously. " Did you??"

" I found him here."

Her mother and sister's simultaneous gasp pushed her father's rage over the crumbling edge. " Here! In my home…why didn't you tell me? What were you thinking?"

Elizabeth shook off their damning glares, forcing clarification to separate and pull her together. " It, it wasn't…it's not that simple. He was dying, he was shot. I found him in the attic and he just wanted help. He didn't hurt me…he never meant to hurt …"

" Oh my god." Her father crumpled the picture in his hands before dropping it. " Carolyn it was him. He was the one who broke into my office."

" Broke into your office? Dad…" Elizabeth moved closer but her father's look pinned her in place.

" There was a break in two weeks ago. The night you went to that party with Sam. It was a message. A message that Mr. Corinthos was sending someone to me. To finish the job."

" Why would Mr. Corinthos want to kill you dad?" Sam's small voice pushed. " It doesn't make sense."

His eyes didn't leave Elizabeth. " Sometimes your life becomes expendable in this line of work, whether your on the right side or not. I was no longer useful to his organization and Jason…"

" No..." Elizabeth refused to believe. shaking her head. " No that cant be."

Mr. Webber talked over her. " Jason Morgan," he announced in a furious whisper, shattering his mask of tranquility to pieces, " is Sonny Corinthos' enforcer. He's a hit man for the mob." He stepped toward Elizabeth, crushing the picture between them with his sneaker. " He was sent here to kill me and probably the rest of this family. Do you understand?" His syllables soft but soaked in contained anger.

No she didn't understand. She didn't understand any of it. Her mind was trying desperately to play catch up, trying to connect the word killer to the man she thought she half knew. But the more she tried the more impossible and unreachable the fleeting desire became.

She was trying to hold on to something that she had built up to believe when the truth was smacking her right in forehead. Now, all that overcame her was foolishness, abundant and pounding.

" I don't understand," she whispered , her voice falling apart, but she wouldn't cry. " Why would he…it doesn't make sense. None of it makes any sense."

" It doesn't have to. It's the truth. Jason Morgan played you Elizabeth. You got in the way and now he's probably on his way to finish the job. We have to get out of here."

He pressed a severe firm look at each member of the family. Tommy was still napping in his room and they wouldn't disturb him until it was necessary.

" We're leaving now."

Sam immediately grabbed the small cardboard box next to her. Her mother scrambled, her eyes darting at the floor and her husband in paralyzing worry. Elizabeth had never seen such a look pass her mother's face before. It was a nightmare coming to life and she had put it there.

" I'm sorry." She moved forward. " I'm so sorry…I thought…please dad.." She went to reach out for his arm but he pulled away, his tone businesslike and unstoppable in its goal.

" We need to go, Elizabeth. We don't have time for this."

But she didn't hear him. All she heard was her own naivety taunting her. She pictured the hundreds of times she could have told her parents, the hundreds of times she should have known something was off and the one time she begged him to tell her the truth and he refused.

This was all that lay on her shoulders now and it was an insufferable burden that was going to break her.

" This is all my fault."

They ignored her. " Elizabeth, get Tommy from the bedroom."

She moved automatically, her feet pushing her forward. She knocked the door open with her open hand and made her limbs submit with every shaky step they refused.

He was sitting up in his crib, a smile unfiltered and free bombarding his chubby face. His rosy cheeks shone and his curly hair was matted on the side he was sleeping. " Juice…" his two little teeth peeked out from his gummy grin. " Juice…mama."

She picked him up, hugging him to her side and inhaling his baby scent. His warm little body, innocent and beautiful as it breathed against her, made her insides clench as emotion snuck up unaware.

He could have been dead because of her. Her Tommy would be dead because of her stupidity. " I'm sorry," she whispered into his hairs, not being able to feel anything but tumultuous remorse and regret. " I will protect you. I promise. From now on, nothing will ever happen to you. You believe me right?" her teary smile faced him as he beamed up at her. She caressed his cheek.

" I promise," she kissed his forehead. " Nothing bad will ever happen to you. I'll die first," she vowed into the empty room.

" Elizabeth, we're done. Come on," her sister called from the living room. She heard them rustling for their coats. She grabbed his favorite blue blanket and Mr. Bear with her free hand, adjusting him on her hip as his tiny fingers latched on to her pullover sweatshirt.

Then a noise broke out, unfamiliar and booming, it tore her concentration from Tommy and made every hair on her body stand up in fear.

Sounding off in her small house like a shot gun she heard her mother's muffled scream and her dad's yell echo something she couldn't quite make out. It was like listening to their words through a door.

Footsteps, heavy in their march stampeded across the floor and when she paused a second before she reached the doorway, she knew they had been found.

Men with guns.

They were everywhere. There were only two of them but it might as well have been twenty. They were big like giants and they were standing in her living room like oak trees that had been uprooted and plopped into the middle of her floor.

She didn't think they noticed her yet. Their eyes were solely aimed on the rest of her family. Suddenly she remembered the phone in her father's study. If she could slip past the wall to the next room…maybe.

She backpedaled, covering Tommy's mouth and muting his small gurgles as cold shakes possessed the rest of her. " Sssh," she whispered soothingly into his hair as she backed up into the wall and stepped to her left.

" I wouldn't do that if I were you."

She wished the icy shiver that shot down her spine wasn't one of recognition.

She heard him shift, leather creak followed by the whisper of his voice that might as well have been thunder roaring, obliterating all her senses in one full sweep of words.

" Move. Now." His soft command was ruthless sounding as hit her.

She made her body turn, cupping Tommy's head and pressing into his chest so that he didn't see the gun. She was sure he didn't understand but she wasn't going to take the chance that he would ever have to remember an image like this.

The gun was close, maybe a foot away, but for some undetectable reason, that wasn't what frightened her. Before she could convince herself of what to do, plan ahead, she braved herself and made her eyes go up.

The man was a stranger, someone she was sure she had never seen before; eyes that stung cold as ice, they penetrated her will to remain composed, but she didn't look away, didn't back down.

No, Elizabeth frowned as instinct took over. She wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize her family now. She suppressed the shiver that kept whipping down her back and stared back, finally placing her sight on to the eyes of a killer, Jason Morgan.


	20. Chapter 20

_You do what's in your gut- if you've been doing it long enough, what's in your gut will be appropriate Anderson Cooper_.

" Move." He jerked his gun in the direction of her family.

When her response didn't automatically cooperate with his brusque demand, he leveled her with the same gaze he had been hitting her with for the past thirty seconds. A look that slapped across her face over and over, jerking her mind back inside her brain.

She gulped, clutched Tommy tighter and stared back, fighting the nausea that was crippling her motoring functions. She didn't budge, nothing in her was working properly.

So he answered by moving himself. Closer, like an attack only worse because it was upfront, meant to scare her.

" I said move," his blue eyes glinted as they darted between hers, daring her to go against him.

How was it possible? How was it possible to care for someone so much, be almost consumed by them to point of insanity in one moment and hate them in the next breath?

She didn't know how, all she knew was when she stared back at Jason, curled her tongue to spit in his face and tell him to go fuck himself she hated him with every fiber of her being and meant it.

She stepped back and watched closely, almost making sure she did it right, afraid if she stumbled he would have an excuse to use his gun.

She turned, breaking the harsh eye connection with him that was making her eyes water. Her family sat, huddled together on the floor in the middle of the living room, clinging to one another like one big ball of fear.

She had never seen any member of her family, any human's face, so fractured. Her mother, a composed creature by nature was clutching to her father for dear life. Her grip on his arm had broken the first button of his oxford blue shirt. Sam, poor Sam, was crying so hard all her makeup had come off and found itself on her cheeks and nose. It looked liked she had seen the inside of a chimney.

Her father, his usual gentle calmness, was replaced by sheer terror. Terror turned even the most docile of people into raving lunatics, feeding off instincts that were usually purposely ignored. Her father never stepped over any line that might raise heads, make talk. He was careful, all his life. She knew that, knew he was not in tune to listening to the intuitive side of his nature. If there even was one.

Sitting in front of them, Mr. Webber wrapped his free arm around her. Sam was pressed against her so hard, the line of her rib bones were able to be felt. Along with her trembling, it was coming so hard and fast, Elizabeth shifted over to her, suddenly compelled without forethought to calm her.

" Elizabeth," she whispered a new onslaught of tears, replacing the others. Elizabeth halted on her instinct to hold her and watched as the new water washed away the residue of makeup masking her knotted face.

" It's okay." She hated how even she sounded scared, but she had to be brave. She had to get them through this. She was the only one who had a bit of the upper hand. She knew Jason. At least some small part of him. If she could reach him, negotiate some sort of bargain, anything to get her family out of the mess she had created, she would do it. She had no choice.

Her mind made up, she turned to her father whose stare was battling between the two gigantic brutes fenced around them. He must have felt her gaze because he turned, met her wide glassy eyes. He gave her the most reassuring smile a father could give. She smiled back, holding him in place as she pleaded for him to see her forgiveness, but she knew now was not the time. The time for such things would come later…she had to believe there was a later in order to accomplish what she was going to do now.

She nodded, finding her father's hand under the jumbled patches of flesh and bone that held onto him. Tommy had fallen asleep in her arms. His breathing was level and there was wet on her collarbone from his drool.

Good. She leveled a breath, working the kinks out of her system right as she met Jason's eyes. They seemed to have never left hers. She could feel him on her, tending to her actions, waiting for to screw up, step out of line. She wasn't sure for what exactly, but he could watch her till his eyeballs dropped out of his head. She was never going to let him get to her. Never again.

She cased him out as well, stroking Tommy's back, quietening her own fear with every move.

Jason, half-lidded, enclosed in a mask that made Fort Knox look like a it was put together by straw and glue, smirked. The corner of his mouth pinched up right before it fell, even deeper and harder than was it was before.

He nudged his head to the side, a small movement that translated a strict order when both behemoths jumped to obey. She guessed they were able to read his mind because one went to lock the front door, the other the back.

Jason scanned the area, left them for second to check the stairs, came back and inspected each one of them before landing back on Elizabeth. " Is there anyone else in the house?"

Her answer was a flare of nostrils that coincided with a blink of steel.

" Answer the question, Elizabeth."

_Fuck you_. " No."

Her answer was low, ringing in disgust. She had to swallow fast. Her mouth tasted so sour and dry she thought she'd vomit right there on the spot.

The two men came back. She realized just then that they were wearing suits. She found it ironic that such distinguished attire would be considered proper for a killing. So that was how the mob worked? That was what her poor father had to deal with for the last fifteen, twenty years? Men who suited up for business, played the part of the average working man only to get their hands dirty after the nine to fivers had gone home.

So they fit in with the rest of the world, didn't raise eyebrows with polite society. Nice, neat, greasy hypocrites.

Jason, he looked like he should be the one taking the orders, dressed only in faded blue jeans that were way to lose and a dark navy t-shirt that looked like it had seen the inside of a dryer too many times. His hair was meshed and his eyes were ringed red; lack of sleep, side affect from almost getting your side blown off? Elizabeth didn't know, didn't give a goddamn.

" The house is secure."

Jason didn't grant them acknowledgement. " Get their car, Max. Bring it around the corner."

The thicker guard, murder, whatever he was, shook his head, hesitated a slight bit and Elizabeth swore she saw something pass in his ebony orbs, what she couldn't decipher.

Her fear was clouding her and it had to end.

" Jason."

He didn't seem to hear her. He tucked his gun into the back of his jeans just as the other guard drew his out from where it was hidden at his side.

" Jason." She darted a look at the guard, wondering if he would take her verbal liberty as a sign of conflict that needed immediate dealing with, but his lethal glare wasn't on her. It was occupied solely on her father.

" Jason," she croaked, her lungs squeezed in pain. " I need to speak to you."

He came back from the kitchen with a pen and pad, tossed the guard a message with his eyes she was frightened to read. He didn't consider her as he scribbled something down.

" What?" he finally asked after an eternity of silence.

" Can I…," she whispered, clenching her jaw together to fight the bite back. " …talk to you."

He gave the piece of paper to the other dark haired guard. The man folded it, tucked it in his coat pocket and went back to his diligent job of hovering over them like a guard dog.

" Talk." Jason put the other piece of paper his leather jacket, raised his head when she said nothing. " What do you want?"

" Alone, please." God, this was going to be harder than she thought.

" No."

" I need to ask-"

" Ask me."

" I'd rather if we were…please…it's personal." She tried her damnest to summon up a tinge of delicacy to her words, sending some scent of memory that would trigger the person she had met up those stairs not two weeks ago.

But nothing flickered within him, not even the subtlest of gestures passed through his features.

" You wanna ask me something. Do it now." He folded his hands over each other, placing them against his midsection and he remained that way, waiting. " We don't have much time."

Now or never, she told herself. She gulped down the rise as more streams of powering nausea threatened to overcome. Her ability to speak was becoming more and more a challenge the longer she tried to think and rethink her plan.

Her eyes, brimming in trepidation, skimmed the bulky guard next to him before settling on Jason.

" Whatever your going to do," she wobbled, " do it to me. Just to me" Her teeth chattered, her nose burned and she felt the first tear enter in the corner of her eye. "Leave them out of this Jason. Just don't hurt them…it's not their fault. Just take me…do whatever you're going to do with me and me only."

The tears were building up, blocking plain sight from view because as she spoke she thought she saw a hint of something come and go in him. A shadow of something along the lines of feeling, warm soft feeling that could almost melt the cool, hard blue of his eyes if the invading emotion had room to stay, but it was gone so fast, she was sure it was a trick of her thatched senses.

He appraised her, his apathetic gaze undeterred in its pursuit. She thought he'd just ignore her like he had been thoroughly doing even though his gaze was never really far from her since he broke in. But like always, he did what she least expected and came next to her, still standing in front of her Indian style positioned body.

" What do you think we are here for Elizabeth?"

There was no mistaking the sarcasm in his question. He was goading her, he had to be. She wouldn't rise to the bait like he anticipated and was rewarded with many a time upstairs. Only a fool made the same mistake twice.

" I know why you're here."

" Do you." His eyes glanced at her father, held, than came back to her.

" Yes." Her hand came up on its accord, but Jason dodged her grasp, stepping away and eyeing her with annoyance. " Please, I'm begging you."

" Enough." The one word silenced her. Her heart felt like it had a race horse galloping in it. " Give the baby to your mother."

Her father finally spoke up. " Listen Mr. Morgan, take me. Please, leave my family out of this."

Jason cast him a scowl dark enough to make the devil blush. " I think that was something you should have considered yourself a long time ago Mr. Webber."

" Mr. Morgan, we both work for the same man. I have been loyal to Mr. Corinthos for years, you have to know the services I have provided for him. This shouldn't be…this isn't worth going to jail over. Please," his voice cracked. " Please, there has to be another way."

Repulsion further hardened Jason's face. His cheeks tightened and spread as his jaw line jumped at the anger that coursed through him. " I guess you and I have two different definitions of the word loyalty."

Bruce's face strained, beseeching as a he stifled a groan of pure pain. Elizabeth didn't ever want to be witness to the sound of that sort of agony coming from her father again. It ripped at her gut, stretching her own fear and pain wider, deeper.

" If you consider yourself innocent of what we have come here to rectify and you are as faithful as you claim you have no worries. Now do you?"

When her father remained motionless at her side, his small whimpers burning her ears, she realized her tolerance had about run out. " Leave him alone."

Jason didn't appear to hear her. " Consider me your priest, Mr. Webber. Do you have anything to confess before we finish our job?"

He couldn't have sounded more practiced and peaceful in his suggestion if he had been rehearsing at a monastery. He was answered only with her father's silence.

Raising a sandy brow, Jason's head tilted slightly. " No?" He nodded, finding his gun in his back without having to turn. " Do you consider yourself right with God then?

" Jason," Elizabeth breathed out, this time gulping for air. She shifted, handing Tommy over to her mother who was behind her. She stood, not prepared for how rubbery her legs were under her.

Placing herself in front of him so close so he could only see her, would have to pay attention. " Jason…what, please. What are you doing? Why are you doing this?"

He slanted her a gaze, then directed himself fully on her, only for a few seconds at a time, as if he were bothered by her, as if it annoyed him to have to stare at her for too long. His eyes were sharp as they enveloped her and her words.

" Don't do this."

" This," he hissed, " is my job."

" And I'm asking you…I'm begging you Jason," her voice rose, " to not do your job. Walk away, whatever it is just forget it. I promise we'll leave. You won't ever hear from us again. Turn your heads and let us walk out of here like we were going to do."

Blue sparkled as he sneered dryly. " Begging really doesn't suit you."

" I saved your life. Do you remember that?" The words carried themselves as she watched his pupils dilate, his lids blink in a slow drift as if he was forcing himself not to remember.

" Was is all just an act? Was what happened between us part of your master plan all along? You made me trust you…you trusted me to take care of you. If it wasn't for me you'd be dead. Dead, Jason. You owe me."

Uncomfortable, he dismissed her with a clear of his throat. " This has nothing to do with you."

She stepped closer still. " The hell it doesn't! This has everything to do with me. And my family. That is my father…my father you're going to kill," she jabbed at her chest. " how can you stand there and do this!"

She heard his breathing stagger though the fleeting emotion on his face had paced like a dreamed phase. " You should have never been involved," his words were soft, lingered in regret.

Her hand came up and found his forearm without breaking eye contact, The leather was slick and cool under her sweaty palm. She could pick up on the jump of muscles under her touch. " I saved you. It's your turn now, Jason. Save me."

8

Some people didn't know when to quit.

Gentle hints didn't seem to do the trick nor did cold water blasts of truth. Sometimes people had to be pushed a little toward the truth. You had to make them face the mirror, point them in the right direction, force them to see they're wrong even if they hate you at first.

In the end, they'd thank you. They'd be damn grateful if they knew what was good for them.

He just hoped he wasn't too late.

Opportunities rarely just fell in his lap. He wasn't that fortunate when it came to luck. But when he looked up at the motorcycle parked in front of the Webber house, recognized it from the motel and felt the first stir of anger as he saw it sitting there, parked on their corner like it had been there a hundred times before, Lucky couldn't ignore the enticing opportunity that had fallen flat on top of him like it was reigning fortunes from the heavens.

He pressed the end button, slightly unsure if had made the right decision. He didn't know what it was going to take to make Elizabeth see that this man, thug, was no good for her. She deserved better and maybe after he saved her from him, she would see where her true feelings lie.

She would be thankful, heartbroken, but thankful. And he would be there, like before, to help pick up the pieces. He'd put her back together, make her see she was always meant to be with him and he would finally have what he always wanted.

Elizabeth Webber in love with him.

He smirked, pleased that it was working out better than he had planned.

He sighed hard into the air. He should go before the cops got there. There wasn't much time and he didn't want Elizabeth to see him when they carted off that delinquent boyfriend of hers.

8

The guard was watching them closely.

She saw Jason eye him before he came back to stare at the hand that was still encased around his arm, a mixture of frenzy and determination cascading off her and on to him.

She didn't know what to expect, his features as always, revealed nothing of what he was thinking. His were armored in contemplation, iron hard.

She gripped tighter. Where was the man she had seen in her attic? She knew he was there somewhere, he had to be. Even if it was only for a few moments she had seen another side to him, more gentle and understanding than one human could withstand if they were being treated to his softness.

And then in the motel….

She stiffened and it was like Jason had read her thoughts. He stepped away, brushing off where she had been touching him. He gave the longer- haired guard who had stayed with them a short nod with a jot of his chin.

" Outside. Pack them in."

" No!"

Elizabeth hurled herself in front of her family who was already complying with their orders.

" No," she cried, her head shaking as her words spilled out. She felt like she was yanking them for her gut with a fish hook. " No I won't let you take them. You're going to have to kill me first."

" Elizabeth," her muther grabbed her shoulder. " Stop. This isn't helping sweetie."

" I won't let you take them."

" Move, Elizabeth." There was no mistaking his demand.

" You're not going to do it. I won't let you…" She yelled, possessed by a roaring beast of compulsion that unleashed itself. " You'll have to go through me. Got that Jason? You'll have to kill me first."

He came closer, raised his hand then thought better of it as a wave of his temper formed like a crescent in his glare. " Elizabeth," he said with so much patience it scared her.

" Don't make this harder than it is."

" What?" she laughed mirthlessly, tears accompanying the emotional onslaught warring through her. She felt ready to collapse. " You afraid to kill me? Attack of conscience? Or do you just like to kill people in size order. Mr. Jason Morgan, orderly, obsessive compulsive killer."

He wasn't amused. He hadn't blinked either.

The wrenching echo of her hollow laughs died and all that was left were the tears still streaking across her face. She wiped them roughly with her sweater. " I meant what I said. You're going to have to go through me first-"

The door knocked, cutting her tirade short. The short knock banged louder the second time, faster. It seemed to suck all the air out of the room and heightened the tension three fold.

Gun drawn he edged closer to the window and without touching it he saw the blue uniform, the unmistakable cap that seemed to float in the air without a head attached. The small, but alarming presence was enough to spiral Jason on his heel

His face didn't change as he spewed out his order. " Get them in the car. Call, tell him plans have changed and to meet us at the location we discussed." He looked at her father, mother, glanced over Sam who was crying in her mother's shoulder. " Don't make any noise."

Headed toward the back door, Jason yanked Elizabeth from the huddle. She bumped against him but he used the flat of his palm to press her up against his body. Her back to him. She didn't try to put up a fight.

Mr. Webber stopped, noticed his daughter's absence, and turned frantically, his face paling. " No, what are you doing? That's my daughter. No."

Jason closed his eyes, taking the gun and nudging it into her side. " You'll do what I say."

The bodyguard pushed at the older man's shoulder just the right amount for him to trip a bit but still be able to move. " Go." Jason barked a bit louder.

He dragged her to the door and whispered against the side of her face. She fought the urge to jerk her head back and head butt him. Not that she even knew how to do that.

" Answer them."

She brought her hand up. He read her mind. " Don't open the door. Just answer them. Now."

She cleared the clog in throat, grounding her teeth together to seize the trembling.

" Can-can I help you?"

" Yes ma'am." They immediately answered. " We got a call from a concerned neighbor that there was a disturbance of some kind. Is everything okay, ma'am?"

" Fine," her voice cracked. " Everything's fine officer. We were just, um, talking loud, sir. I broke curfew. You know how it is."

" Ma'am, can you please open the door."

The cold metal of the gun dug into her side. She could feel the side of his face plastered into her hair, feel his warm breath on her scalp as it traveled over her head when he spoke.

" Don't let them in."

She scrambled, her excuse falling over her tongue like clumsy trip of words. " My family is actually out and I don't really feel comfortable with-"

" Open the door now." There was no misinterpreting the command. " We need to take a look around, for safety's sake."

One second he was over her, his breathing in time with hers and the next he was carrying her across her floor. She wriggled, but it was useless with his arm banded around her like a prison bar bent to fit her waist and paralyze her movements.

She opened her mouth and he jerked her closer. "Don't Elizabeth. Don't even think about it."

He tucked his gun in his jeans, opened the back door and shut it all with one hand just as she heard the officers threaten to break down the door if she didn't comply.

Jason let her down, brought his hand up to enclose around her neck with an adequate pressure that told her if she moved one step the wrong way he'd hall her over his shoulder if necessary.

The dark bushes decorated on their neighbors sides blocked proper visage then parted to uncover the dark indistinctible blue SUV parked across the street.

She eyed the scene around her. There had to be someone out here. It was Sunday for god's sake. The neighborhood was dead like aliens had taken over and nuked the damn place.

Her parents and sister were in the backseat with Tommy.

" Get in."

" Where are we going?"

" Elizabeth, get in the car," he growled, stepping closer, letting go of her neck and finally, for the first time letting his anger show itself.

" But-"

" Get in car or I'll throw you in."

She cursed him with a contemptuous look and stepped up on the ledge.

Looking down Jason massaged his temple with a short frustrated rotation. Instead of sitting in the empty seat in the front he sat next to her, swiped the door closed and barked for the guard named Ritchie to floor it.

They were on the road and headed to the highway before she realized what was happening.

The small cries behind her woke her from her shell shocked state. She turned, grabbing her sister's hand and her mother's with the other one. " You guys, okay?"

" Yeah ," they both reassured at the same time. They were lying, their tears and faces screamed their fear. Her father sat motionless beside her mother, a surreal emotion

settling in his profile.

It scared her, made her stomach bunch in a cramp. "Dad," She kneeled, leaning closer to grab his hand.

He kept his hand in his lap, didn't acknowledge that he heard. " I'm alright, pumpkin. Sit."

" Dad."

" Put your seatbelt back on." He gently requested like she was three and they were on vacation or something.

Ritchie, the man who hadn't spoken since entering and bulldozing into their lives, spoke from the driver's seat. " Boss, what are we doing?"

" You called Max?" Jason sounded out of breath.

" Yeah, he'll be there like you said."

" Good."

" What about the cops?"

" Max is going to take them when we meet up"

" Where are you taking us?" Elizabeth heard herself say with a little too much gumption. She reigned herself in when Jason shot her a blistering glare of sterling blue. The look automatically stopped her rage dead in their tracks. " Where are we going?" she asked her words still heated but soft.

" You aren't going anywhere." He leaned back into the seat, staring at the dashboard, distracted. " Your family is going with Max."

" What-what you mean, my family? What about me?"

He licked his lips slowly in thought, bent his head for a quick second as he expelled a good quantity of weary breath. " You're coming with me."

" No," she immediately drew further away from him, letting her shoulder blades dig into the end of the window. " I'm not going anywhere with you."

He wasn't up for arguing and he wasn't amused by her fighting him every step of the way. He answered in a matter of fact way that dared rebuttal. " You don't have a choice."

" I don't understand," she searched his face, but he refused to return her a look. " Why do you need just me? I want to be with my family."

" Because I do," his voice rumbled. " That's all you need to know."

She didn't have to be psychic to know he was hanging on to his temper by a very short thin thread, but she didn't care. " Why?"

His eyes met hers, but his head stayed straight. She asked again as his eyes, empty of emotion drank her fear, her worry in. He was sucking the strength out of her, did he know that? Did he get some sick pleasure out of all of this?

" Why me?"

Scraping his jaw line with fingertips, his eyes jumped between hers and he almost appeared familiar to her again.

" You're my leverage."

That didn't make sense. She shook her head, the word not sinking in. " Leverage? I don't-"

" The cops are going to be trailing us. That's where you come in."

When comprehension didn't dawn on her face, he turned fully, directing his attention solely on her. Head slanted toward her, his dark brows hooded half his eyes, half the expression he was translating to her.

" Hostage, Elizabeth." He paused, waiting for to accept his words and then argue, but when all she did was stare blankly he continued. " You're going to be my hostage."


	21. Chapter 21

_Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances. Thomas Jefferson _

She wasn't sure how many hours they had been on the road. The drive was long and arduous that she was definite about. They'd been on the same highway for at least several hours, two hundred miles if she had to estimate which she was glad she didn't. Her brain was bordering on a state of vegetation.

They were headed north; each road sign that they had gotten on said north. They had been out of New York for at least two hours, but the cramps in her legs, the tension rolling under her flesh were all repercussions of a strain that had nothing to do with being stuck in a car too long.

No one had said anything to each other.

She desperately wanted to talk to her parents, but she was too afraid of Jason hearing her. So she stayed motionless at his side. There was at least a body width's of distance between them. The amount of space should have been good enough to make her relax but it didn't. Nothing did when the word hostage was rolling over and over again in her head.

In those hours he hadn't moved except to scratch the side of his face or rub his forehead.

He would close his eyes briefly. She'd thought maybe he'd sleep and she could use the small advantage to talk to her parents, make sure they were okay, but after only several minutes he would reawaken, if he were even ever really asleep, and continue his blank pensive stare at the horizon. Sometimes he'd lean over and whisper something in Ritchie's ear. What, she wasn't close enough to hear, but it couldn't be anything good.

Not when it meant that in a short time she would be separated from her family and when she would see them again was a bleak uncertainty.

Elizabeth rested her forehead against the window, watching as she pressed her fingertips into the glass and let go as the small dotted markings of her own unique human pattern shone back at her.

It was so weird how life worked out. She had spent a good amount of time trying to escape her family. She would use any excuse to be away from them and enjoy her solitude. Most families usually had an unspoken bond that didn't need reworking or assistance to run smoothly, but no matter what she did, she was never quite in sync with them.

After a while she gave up, didn't try anymore. Now, Elizabeth sighed, the fog of her breath misting into a clear snowball on the window, she'd give her life to start over.

The van slowed down as her haunting thoughts parted from her.

Jason was the first to break the hours of silence. " We're here."

His voice resonated close, coming up against her, clearing her mind when she found him staring at her when he spoke.

" Get out of the van."

She looked away, straight ahead, hoping her hate didn't manifest itself too plainly. That was a sure fire way to give him the upper hand and since her near future consisted of his unwanted company and his scrutinizing gaze, ambiguity was her best bet for survival.

Her family was already being shuffled out. She checked the area around them, knowing it would be unfamiliar to her. Small buildings surrounded them, but on the right where the van door was opened were trees, bushes, separated only by a dumpster and some old useless cardboard boxes.

It looked like they were in some abandoned parking lot behind offices or shops.

" Elizabeth," the sound of her name, terse and short, coming from his mouth, set her movements forward.

He was waiting by the door and she ignored him as she passed. His hand came up, surprising her as the indent of his warm fingertips began to cup her elbow. She recoiled as if he burned her, immediately wiping her elbow down and shooting him a glare of brilliant despise, fiery enough to singe his eyebrows.

Jason didn't react. He just looked down until she turned.

She was walking over to her family when she stopped at his words.

" Say goodbye. You have five minutes."

She was on her heel spinning before she could drag her fury back from the ledge. Her ponytail had fallen out somewhere along the way and so her hair was in her face, strands sticking to her lips as she quivered, out of breath. " That's not enough time."

" That's what you're getting."

" Where are you taking them?"

He shook his head, his tone not budging from its' unemotional state. " You can't know."

" Yes I can," she shot back defiantly. "Tell me where you're taking them. They're my family." She heard her father and mother murmuring for her to stop but all she would allow herself to hear was the deafening echo of her anger spring to life.

" If you need a hostage, then why not take all of us? Why me, huh?" she came closer, her body working on a separate engine than her mind. " What are you going to do to them? What, are you going to kill them? I'm not going to let you do that," her voice was weak as it shattered on her last words. " I won't let you."

Her knees knocked together as a spasm of fatigue threatened to plunder her. Behind her, her mother's voice called out, sounding miles away, frantic but groggy. The support her body was seeking she found as her hand came up and leaned into the car door. She prayed in a muted plea, calling for strength that seemed scarce.

Head down she didn't see Jason step toward her, didn't see him hesitate as his hands came up only to fall hard at his sides in fists.

" Elizabeth." Her father's soothing voice seemed to break the gray inside her.

" I'm okay, she gulped, taking a large deep breath. " I'm fine," she smiled weakly, determined to convince her father she wasn't going to break. " I'm fine."

" Come here," and he didn't have to ask again. She was in his arms, wrapped in him so securely she could barely draw breath. Warm and safe, she inhaled, her face buried in her father's chest. He smelled like peppermint and old spice. He smelled like home.

" Daddy." The first tear fell and something inside her caved in as well.

" Ssssh, hey, pumpkin." He drew her away from the warm cocoon of his body to capture her face between his older slightly wrinkled hands. " You listen to me. You have been so brave. I have never been more proud of anyone in my entire life."

" Daddy," she shook her head to stop him. She didn't like the note of finality his tone carried.

" But right now I need you to be stronger than you've ever been. Don't try to be a hero. Don't try to save us pumpkin. I want you to take care of yourself. Listen to Mr. Morgan. Please. If I know you're okay, then I'll be okay."

She fought the cry building up, biting the tip of her tongue to stop the wail of anguish that rushed up at her. " I can't do this," she admitted in a whisper only they could hear. " I can't. I don't want to leave you."

" Yes, sweetie. Yes, you can." There was no doubt in his words. He was so confident in her strength. She wondered momentarily, how that could be when she had never really done anything to justify such faith.

His gentle grasp became affirming as his gray stormy stare rendered a meaning his words always seem to fall short of. " I love you." He finally supplied softly, kissing her forehead as she gripped his wrists and dug her nails into the flesh, unconsciously, unwillingly to let go.

He released her face, backing away from their embrace, but her fingers clung to him. " Dad," she cried in a moan that embodied a car wreck, a disaster ruined and ugly.

" Dad, don't leave me."

Jason cleared his throat. " We should get going."

Forcing the bile down, she rubbed her nose and looked around, at nothing.

" Max isn't here yet. We have to wait for the guy Max."

" Max will be here." She heard him move closer. " We have to go."

The touch of his fingers coming against her again sent her spiraling away from him, out of his clutches. " Don't you touch me," she snarled, the command barely audible, but direct in its' clarity.

She watched him as her complete disgust for him momentarily removed her from her fear. There was nothing he could do to her, no pain he could inflict, that wouldn't hurt more than the agony she was suffering at his hands. At this point so much was possible. He could slap her, drag her into the car, beat her until she submitted. Whatever it was, she waited for it, uncaring.

Her chin came up and her eyes blared in teary revolt.

Instead of a sharp order he stuck to his silence. His inconclusive expression remained in tact. He didn't break his tide of impassiveness, but he stilled, licking his lips and holding her captive with his wounded blue eyes. His words rang angry but they contradicted the bruised tenderness of his voice.

" I won't hurt you."

She didn't swallow his promise like she suspected he was hoping. " I'm not leaving."

He came closer, just a step, but it glued her train of thought in place. " I won't hurt you," he repeated, slower, his stare boring into her, causing the bones under her skin to spring up like an electric volt was being shot in her.

Persistent on not allowing such reckless abandonment of feeling ever to impair her senses again, she raised an eyebrow, defining her opinion of his honor by taking a significant step back as she sneered and huffed down at his supposed sincerity. She'd spit nails before assuming any truth in the man before her.

Her mouth opened just as the color of his face bloomed from tan to red in a hot second. There was no misreading his face this time. He was mad. " I said I'm not going with you and I meant-"

He advanced on her so quickly all Elizabeth saw was a blur. Next he was over her, crowding her, his anger surpassing his ability to keep control. " Get in the car or I'll-"

" You'll what? Kill me? Kill my family?" she spit back, " You're a low life murdering pig and you expect to believe you….to get in there and drive away with you. I'd rather be shot in the head first."

" That can be arranged."

" Drop dead."

" I don't have time for your childishness. We're wasting time."

" Time? So you can send my family away and have them killed. Get the goddamn job done without exposing to anyone what a disgusting, miserable excuse for human being you really are."

" That's it."

His hand came down on her shoulder and he bent; his intentions evident when his forearm wrapped around the back of her legs. Her body stalled in its' response. Her anger, her emotions, had gotten the better of her again and by the time she realized what he was doing to her, she was already hauled over his shoulder and locked in place.

Her wiggling was useless in the cement binding of his arms. There was no amount of squirming that would free her, although she tried for preservations sake.

" Don't hurt her, please." Her mother muffled a plea between sobs. " Please just let her be. She's a good child. Please, let her stay with us."

Hoisting her up for a firmer hold, Jason eyed Ritchie, jerking his head in the family's direction. " When Max gets here, get them in and out of here. No stops. You hear me?"

Ritchie nodded. " When do you want me to-"

" The minute they're settled. Tell Max I don't want to hear from him. If I need anything I'll contact him. Otherwise, nothing."

" And what about Sonny-"

Jason straightened, an uncomfortable flatness entering his eyes as the rest of him followed suit and became granite. He heaved out a short quick stream of air, fishing for his own set of keys out of his pocket.

" I'll deal with him when we get-Ow, fuck." The pinch in the middle of his back sent him lurching forward, but his sharp reflexes steadied him and he ended up only taking a step ahead instead of flat on his face.

Cursing under his breath, his thumb and forefinger, which he found were resting comfortably in her inner thigh, bunched the soft flesh there together and squeezed.

He felt her body tighten as she stifled her yelp, but she didn't say anything.

He went on, pretending she wasn't over his shoulder, her weight, body not pressing into him." Remember what I said."

He was rounding the front of the van when he heard Mr. Webber call out. He stopped but didn't act to respond.

" Please, take care of her. Don't-don't hurt her."

Twisting his head to meet the man's gaze, Jason didn't hide his disdain for other man, nor did he refuse to back down as the elderly fellow cowered under his lethal glower.

" Elizabeth is the least of your worries," he advised coolly, his gaze dropping to the two women on both his shoulders than lingering on the toddler who still lay sleeping in the mother's arms. " Do as you're told and you and your family might make it through this alive."

He was at the front of the driver's side, letting Elizabeth on her feet in one fast motion. The keys dangled in front of him as she straightened her hunched position.

Pushing the hair from her face, she took a ragged breath and just as he leaned in to get a peek at her she threw him off balance by shoving him.

He didn't go very far only faltering a step, but when he saw her hands come up to do it again, his temper spiked. He blocked the obvious attack and manacled her wrists with his hands, tugging them in place at her sides.

His face was almost buried in hers before he could talk himself out of sinking to her level.

" Get in the car," he paused, his nostrils flaring in time with his fuming glare. " Now."

Blocking the rise of fright that tended to show itself at the most exposing moments, Elizabeth twisted under the harsh pressure of his hands. Her tiny wrists burned in pain the more she moved, but she didn't stop as she spat her vow out. " You ever do that again and I'll pinch a more sensitive area." Her eyes slipped lower than came back up in an unmistakable message. " Got it?"

There was no misconstruing the hint of the smile that came and passed on his face. He straightened, still too close for comfort, but at least he wasn't as unnervingly near, destroying and raging in glorious anger.

" I think I liked you better when you were meek and shy."

She squinted her eyes at the keys still dangling from his finger. " I know I liked you better when you were bleeding and unconscious."

He sighed, taking her hand and plopping the keys in her open palm. She looked at them as if they had fallen from the sky.

" Let's go." He grabbed the latch of the door behind her. She didn't move. " They're keys Elizabeth."

" I don't get-"

His eyes skipped between her and the keys in her hand. " What?" There was no misinterpreting his impatience. " What?"

" Why am I driving?"

" The cops are going to be looking for a driver matching my description. You drive and it helps our chances."

When the answer didn't jolt her into action, he gently but firmly pushed her to the side, opening the door the rest of the way then leading her in with a nudge from her lower back. He stood there until she started the car, but she still appeared off to him.

He came around and was in his seat before she had time to understand what was really happening here. She was leaving, leaving her family and she might not ever see them again.

Her small fingers gripped the wheel tight, refusing to accept this as her reality.

She turned, her head moving to the right and then to the left, leaning over the steering wheel to catch a glimpse of her family, but they were too far from the car. The windows were too tinted in the back for a good enough view to at least wave a goodbye.

" Elizabeth."

She sniffled, put the car in drive. " Shutup," she whispered, torn. " Just shutup."

And he did. He didn't say one word for the rest of the ride, which was good because as far as she was concerned she never wanted to speak to the man again. Not when he was the one responsible for ripping her family apart.

8

She drove slower than shit.

It took all of Jason's strength not to pull her off the wheel and jam the gas pedal till his foot hit ground.

He didn't know if she was doing this on purpose, but he wasn't going to argue. Fighting with her always seemed to slow plans down and time was a commodity they couldn't waste.

So he sat, not moving, trying harder than ever not to think. He ran the mental lists of dos and don'ts in his head. Fucking cops. He kept coming back to that. He wasn't sure who had made the call. He knew it wasn't one of the Webbers. None of them had ever left his sight long enough to sneak a call.

He didn't know who it was but when he found out...

The sign for a rest stop zipped past them. He straightened clearing his unused vocal chords. Now that it was just the two of them, he was uneasy with the idea of having to control her on his own. He didn't trust himself to do what was needed and stay as impartial as possible.

She was more unpredictable than any person he'd ever met and that made for a damn nuisance when it came to this delicate situation. She was hostage, he was her…kidnapper?

Either way, she had to believe his intentions were dead serious. She had to believe _this_ was serious in order to protect her from what came next.

It was hard when one minute she was emotional, on the verge of a breakdown and the next she was spitting angry, ready to war with him like she was six feet and weighed over two hundred.

A temper like that was only asking for trouble and since having the cops on them was an unpleasant curveball they were going to have to deal with Jason was intolerant to handle more.

" Pull off the next exit."

Her countenance didn't change as she asked " Why?" Her question raucous sounding.

She sounded so diminutive… just like her presence. He peeked a look from the corner of his eye, not turning. She looked especially tiny behind the wheel. He also noticed how it seemed to hurt whenever she tried to swallow.

His eyes narrowed but he didn't voice his concern. " Supplies."

She raised an eyebrow.

" Town is far from where we're staying."

He didn't know why but his answer darkened her appearance, like a shadow was cast over her. She nodded but it was faint almost nonexistent. Since it appeared she didn't notice him inspecting her, he took a more liberal view, examining her carefully for the first time.

She looked horrible, he concluded as a fist of emotion punched his gut.

She was a beautiful girl, there was no denying that fact, but sitting so close to her he couldn't excuse the dark blue shadows forming under eyes, the lines that accented them. Her curls were limp around her, no longer shiny like the side of a polished gem. Her eyes had lost their luster hours ago, but her body looked ready to break.

Every now and then she would shake, some part of her would tremble; her elbows, her shoulders, sometimes even her legs and he could tell she was holding herself together to stop the unwanted tremors, but she couldn't hide them.

His hand fit around the cool metal latch of the door, suddenly angry but for a whole different set of reasons. When they got to the cabin she was going to sleep. She was going to sleep until she no longer could be mistaken for a fucking zombie.

The car halted to a stop. Elizabeth shifted the gear in park and sat, her face, her body not moving from its' driving position.

" Let's go."

" I'd rather stay if that's okay."

" I wasn't asking. Let's go." He opened the door, pushed it halfway then stopped. " Elizabeth. I mean it."

She licked her parched lips, but the move didn't recover the moisture that usually made them glisten like the shell of rose petals. She retrieved the car keys, throwing them at his face as she went to unlock and open her own door.

His hand came up and caught the keys without breaking her from his sight just as she whispered, " Asshole," under her breath.

When he met her at the back of the SUV her eyes were planted on the small drugstore in front of them.

" Stop fighting me."

" Stop being an asshole and let me go."

He started toward the store. " You keep this up and you're just making it worse for yourself."

" Where did you send my family?"

She hadn't moved from her spot. He paused. " Stop asking questions I can't answer."

He heard her stomp toward him, grab at his elbow to face her. " Are they dead?"

He eyed her, watching her eyes bob back and forth, tears spring to her lashes in unshed, unknown grief. The air in his lungs burned his breathing passage. He sought for release in swallowing but the paralyzing feeling disarmed him of the small freedom.

" Are they?" her question guttural, hopeless. " You killed them didn't you."

The first tear fell and Jason felt the moisture drop straight onto his heart. He remained stiff in front of her, casting a look at the store, regaining the shift of emotion that quickly came and went. " They're alive."

Her intake of breath was like a surge of fresh air to his depleted body.

" For now."

Her head began to shake, her mouth opening and closing before the words tumbled.

" Jason, please…whatever you want, money, power, whatever it is my father can help. He knows people-"

" There is nothing that your father has that I would ever want."

Both Jason and Elizabeth seemed to catch the double meaning of the statement at the same time. Elizabeth looked away but Jason couldn't. For some reason he felt compelled to rectify his words and that anchored his anger deeper. He owed her no explanation. This was his job and whether she knew it or not her father had stabbed Sonny in the back and inadvertently him as well.

" Do as I say and they might live Elizabeth."

Fascinated that her face could change so quickly, he gaped as her eyes and the rest of her hardened from his response. Taking a step back, away from him and his aloof coldness, she headed toward the store without another glance his way.

" I hate you," she shot out venomously, unabashedly, but she didn't turn to see if he'd respond. He didn't think she really cared. She just wanted him to know that and now he did.

Which was a good thing.

8

He found her in the book aisle. Her eyes were fixed on some red covered paperback. Jason caught the words hot and scandal but was uninterested to investigate further. It was unnecessary when it was obvious it was one of those romance chick books.

He saw her body go ramrod straight when his oncoming build was drawing close in proximity. Her cheeks pinked and her eyes hastily darted the plethora of reading material, grabbing the first magazine that entered her visage.

He fought his smirk hard. " Finished?"

" Yeah," she answered, pretending to sound bored. " I'd love to go home."

" Funny." He was walking to the other end of the aisle. " Let's go."

She fell a step behind. " Who said I was kidding," she shot back dryly.

He could practically feel her stare daggering through his back, but he didn't turn to check. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction. She was acting like a toddler with the worst set of mood swings he had ever witnessed. Good thing he decided he never wanted kids because his dreams would have been seriously shattered after having her for company.

There was no line and so he went straight up to the cashier, handing the large basket of household products and bathroom necessities to the elderly gent behind the counter. He knew the stuff he bought wasn't going to last longer than a few nights, but at least they'd have toothbrushes and toilet paper. The rest he'd send Max out for when he had finished with the Webbers.

" An even fifty mister."

Jason dug in his pocket, fishing out the small wad of neatly folded cash and handed the two top twenties before thumbing for the ten underneath the rest of the bills. " Here." He slapped the money down and suddenly realized how silent and unusually quiet the company at his side was.

He turned to his right then his left. His eyes shot up. " Elizabeth," he called out, unable to restrain the anger that traced in her name.

A bubble of panic mixed with the anger but then his eyes found her, standing in between the mechanical doors that swung in and out. She didn't answer, didn't seem to hear him.

He was grabbing the bag as her feet hit the mat that opened the exiting door.

He didn't like how fast she was walking. He also didn't want to draw attention that was unneeded in their sensitive situation. He called out to her in a short but noticeably alert tone. " Elizabeth."

The one word should have stopped her but only furthered her steps to quicken and that's when he paused and noticed the cop car parked opposite them on the other side of the grassy hill that separated the two parking lots.

The police officer was still in his car, his head was down but it wouldn't be for long if he started running after her, barking, like he wanted to.

" Elizabeth." The last syllable of her name edged to verbalize the ramifications her disobedience would bring if she dared to do what he suspected.

He was going to fucking kill her before this was all over. He just knew it.

She was running now and he had little time to think of a convenient plan of action that wouldn't get them caught.

Abandoning the bag of merchandise on the pavement he dashed ahead, coming behind the SUV just as her feet began mounting the small hill.

" Officer-"

And then he came down on her. He hurdled his body into hers, sending them both crashing into the bumpy grass; their bodies, intertwined, as they fell forward. Elizabeth went down first. Jason protected her from the fall by pushing her into him and cupping her head to his chest.

Somehow he ended up on top of her, her hands pinned to both sides of her face as he cradled her midsection in between his thighs, squeezing her body tight with subliminal significance.

He kept her face buried in his chest, knowing if he released her she'd start screaming.

The door of the car opened and shut next to him, shooting off the tension inside him.

" What's going on here?" There was no mistaking the sharp northern accent of the cop proceeding toward them.

His mouth was on her ear, so close when he opened to speak his lips couldn't help but touch the shell. " Don't." He expelled a breath into her ear. " Don't even think about it."

She jotted her midsection out to try and hit him in the groin but she couldn't get enough power to put any strength into the hit. His arms bracketed her face from the cop's view, her screams muffled into chest.

The crunch of boots sent him spurring into action.

" I said what the hell is going on over here?" He moved a step closer. " Ma'am, you okay?"

Jason licked his lips, breathing in, taking in the sweet aroma of her body into his nostrils; the smell more powerful than he was ready for.

He let up on the pressure of his chest compressing her into the ground. He closed his eyes, shifting lower and pressing his face into hers. His eyelashes brushed and tangled with hers as his nose smushed into her cheek.

His lips might as well have been kissing her because when he moved to speak they touched hers involuntarily, slipping up and down as they caught in between and over her mouth like open kisses but with words.

" You talk and you're family-"

" Fuck you," she whispered lowly.

When she saw his eyes fix on her mouth, panic welled in her orbs, swelling her eyes like two large balloons. " Don't you dare," she warned, her lips parting and hitting his.

Both their mouths were opened, caressing one another absently, but Jason didn't move away, couldn't.

The officer wasn't leaving. He had no choice. He had no fucking choice, he cursed mentally.

Jason's eyes found her mouth again, purposefully ignoring the shaft of unwelcomed warmth that flooded him. He cursed the cop as his head came down, his intentions remarkably clear to him and his captive.

" Do it and I'll make you bleed." She hissed just as he made up his mind and sank his mouth into hers. She froze under him, his lips moving gently, more gently than he aimed since the purpose was to shut her up.

So he kissed her.

The pressure of his lips was hard, but the persuasion of his movements was soft, melding their bodies and mouths together in swift unison. He didn't mean to seduce her and he certainly didn't want the kiss to turn as erotically charged as fast as it did. But feeding off his instincts for the past twenty five years he couldn't stop himself when she caught him off guard and shifted her thighs so that she was straddling him, pressing him closer so that his midsection was being lovingly crushed by hers in a blatant message of need.

His hands released hers on impulse and palmed the back of her thigh. A burning sensation fired across his skin, tearing his senses to shreds. He gasped into her mouth, her lips hungry as her teeth skimmed his lower lip and her pelvis rubbed up against his, releasing and clenching. Her nails scorched fire, scraping against the back his scalp and smashed his face deeper into hers.

The warm clash of her soft skin, her cheek brushing his, the scent of her body was drowning out the world. When he heard her moan, felt the arousal of her soft wet jeaned center against his, his beastly nature roared to life, unshackled from restraint. His arm came under her head, bringing her so close he could devour her mouth.

His tongue found hers in the jumbled mess; met outside their mouths but quickly sought shelter in the dark crevasse of her opening as he followed the wet leading of her tongue.

First he coaxed her, his tongue moving up and down so that his mouth was directly over hers, but he didn't like that. He slanted, shifting his mouth to the side, hunting for deeper access to what lay inside. The second he did his tongue was swirling over hers, side to side, looping around her mouth until she followed and mimicked the move and the friction of their moist heated tongues was the only thing either of them could feel or experience.

He heard her whimper and he continued, the rush of power turning him hard as steel in his jeans as he finally answered her body and pushed himself against her. His tongue plunged deeper simultaneously with his body.

All thoughts of the cop behind him, the crunch for time, the trail of cops, and the strict methodical structure he prided himself on evaporated into thin air. All he knew was that he was kissing her and he couldn't stop.


	22. Chapter 22

_Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had. Unknown_

_Fuck_.

"Fuck," he growled, the curse rumbling from deep inside his chest. Elizabeth swallowed the small vibration of sound between them and attacked the swollen, pliant flesh of his mouth that hovered over hers, ready.

She was all over him; clawing at him like she wanted to demolish whatever small barrier of clothing lay between them have him take her right there, on the ground. Her hands were everywhere. Her nails had dug into his scalp, his cheeks. They were voyaging erratically down the middle of his back, squeezing the life out of him, begging in a demand with each hard tug at his body.

Unprepared, he tried to breakaway a bit, confused by the thundering craving that was turbulently overriding his customary self control.

Her lips scattered kisses, frantic and hungry for long heated seconds only to turn soft and moist, maneuvering around his mouth with enticing taunt. The way her body sighed in quivering releases under him made need split violently inside him. He wasn't trying to make this hard. This wasn't suppose to be this way.

It was like she could read his mind. Her tongue kept playing hide and seek with his. Peeking in, giving him a lick of a taste only to draw back and make him chase. It was like she knew he was starving for more of the exquisite friction of her tongue.

Desire, hard and pounding, rocketed against this skull. His fingertips pulsed, aching to throw the hideous sweater she was wearing over her head and finally get a nice view of what was underneath. A view he could devote hours to; studying her studiously until he knew every inch of her skin by heart; until every freckle, every slope had been memorized, stroked until perspiration and his mouth were the only contact her body called for.

The primal wish made all his good intentions crumble. He was submerged by the texture and flavor of the compliant, ravenous woman tearing at his senses mercilessly . His body dismissed the gnawing practicality tugging at him, ready to be her servant and obey each and every thing her body wanted.

His hands came up, skimming under her sweater. His hands were cold, her flesh was burning molten, the contrasting friction ceased every thing inside him, muting out the world as the feel of her crashed through him.

The length of his fingers alone almost covered the plane of her midsection. They compressed into the cushion of her soft flesh, inching up, hungry to move higher, but excited at the slow blaze that filled them both in the languorous pace upward.

Then a throat cleared directly behind him and the stronghold of lust over him died in its' place. His body felt heavy, combustible but it all screeched to a stop, weighing through him like his blood had turned into metal.

His senses were fuzzy, turning his vision hazy and off kilter. Elizabeth didn't stop. She was kissing him, pulling at his bottom lip to come back down to where she was and continue the assault on one another.

" I said what the hell is going on here?"

" Officer," he swallowed. He was in serious need of air. It seemed to have been vacuumed up between the both of them. " We, uh, got a little…" he shook his head, hoping the older man would just understand and walk the other way.

He felt Elizabeth's kisses skim his jaw, a moist plop touch his pulse point. His hand came around her head, molding to the shape of her skull, tugging gently as he smiled apologetically at the law enforcer. " Sweetie," he looked down, gave her a chaste kiss as his eyes beamed a silent warning, " Honey, the nice police man is here…we should probably-"

" There's a motel down the block. Otherwise this is a bit inappropriate mister."

" Of course." Jason never heard himself sound so polite. He smiled in a congenial way that conveyed to the man the extent of his embarrassment. It was the last thing he felt even though he was caught off guard by the sharp turn from passion to cold hard reality. " Thank you."

" Mm hmm." The officer's lips puckered out in an unforgiving, flabby pout. " See that you're on your way."

Relief, fast and refreshing, backed up on him, as he bent, shaking his head at the retreating policeman walking back to his squad car. He muttered a curse, exhaling as his eyes closed and he remembered that his body was still very much entangled with Elizabeth.

He froze, suddenly awkward in the intimate position they had unconsciously been led to by their own unguarded sensations. " Elizabeth-"

His eyes opened just as her head stretched up to meet his. He thought she was going to kiss him again, but something about the way her eyes blackened and her nostrils flared told him she was following a whole other set of emotions.

Her lips trapped his bottom one and she bit down so hard, Jason immediately felt the coat of hot liquid seep into his gums. He pulled at the back of her hair, but she didn't relent. In his peripheral vision he could see the cop car pulling out, backing up and then going straight until the tail lights faded onto the side street.

The second he was no longer in sight Elizabeth let go.

" What the fuck-"

" Get off me." She shoved at his chest, her features curling in repulsion. " You ever try something like that again and you're walking away a eunuch. You got that."

He ignored the flush of red blooming throughout her complexion and without delay separated himself from her. "I'm not the one who started this," he spat, wiping the blood from his lip.

He tipped his bloody finger at her. " Cute."

Smearing the warm liquid on his jeans, he shot her a dark scowl that should have tipped her off that he was in no mood to argue, but she was too angry to tiptoe around his temper.

" Problem?" She stood, or at least tried to stand, slightly off balance as she leaned a hand against the ground and then straightened to her full height, slowly. " You practically molest me and I'm supposed just lay there and let you."

" I had to think fast. The cop was right there." He defended, infuriated that she had the nerve to be mad at her when this was all her doing. " You ever pull a stunt like that

again…"

She marched past him, heaving short breaths from her chest like her lungs couldn't quench itself with enough air. " Screw you and your threats. I'm not afraid of you anymore. How can I be when I already know what you're capable of."

Stuck in place, the lingering rage in him resurfaced, replacing whatever misguided attraction had been confusing him. He turned to catch up with her slicing his arm threw the loop hole of the forgotten products on the pavement in one quick undeterred swoop. It didn't take but a few long strides before he was at her side, yanking her elbow so she would face him.

" Don't push me kid," he threatened nonchalantly, stabbing a finger in her face. " You'll regret it."

" I really don't care what-"

" If I have to…" His declare rose above hers, stopping the audacious nature she was suddenly possessed with, " I'll cuff you to the goddamn wheel."

The temporary flare of courage balked a bit and Elizabeth relinquished the tiny speck of attitude in her words. " You wouldn't dare."

"Don't tempt me." His gravelly voice was sincere in its promise. " Now get in the car."

Her eyes dropped, the small red blotch beginning to crust over. A twinge of remorse gathered, but she refused to apologize. When she looked up at him, she found him staring at her mouth as well.

Was he angry? She couldn't tell, but whatever fleeting emotion it was that passed, it brightened and dispersed with a strength that stopped her in place. Overwhelmingly so, her throat refused to swallow the spit in her mouth; it just stuck there.

" I hope you're not waiting for me to apologize because I'm won't."

" I wasn't," he replied snappishly. " Come on." He tipped his head at the truck.

Her eyes rolled. " Is that the only way you know how to talk. By ordering someone around."

" I'm in charge," he clarified without qualm. " What I says go."

Moving her aside, he unlocked the door and pushed her towards it. When she stayed in her place he gently nudged her until she was tripping over the ledge. She slapped his hand away, stomping on the ledge and hating that she felt like a two year under his supervision.

He slammed the door on her just as her mouth opened to sling a retort. Her throat clenched along with her jaw, but when he entered next to her, throwing the bag on the floor next to him, she continued, compelled to get under his skin since he had forced himself and his sexual manipulation under hers.

" That must get old really fast."

His eyebrow rose partially, his eyes committed in distraction as they searched the immediate area.

Mildly altered at how easily he could brush her off and what had happened, she rummaged for the keys then realized she had given them, correction, thrown them at him.

She hated that she was right. When she turned he was sitting there, the keys held out, his eyes still scanning like a radar around the vicinity of the SUV.

She swiped the keys from his hand, pulled back and shoved it into the ignition as she informed him coolly. " Sorry about the lip." She commented unrepentantly, "You bring out the absolute best in me."

His answer stepped in time with hers. Unruffled, he assessed her openly. " I could tell."

She shook her head. The deafening silence escalated, piercing and insufferable to her raw nerves. " Well, two can play at that game. Now you know."

His blue eyes looked neon in the dark interior of the truck when she turned and locked eyes with his. She hated how she faltered under his dissecting glower.

" What does that mean?" his disinterest blaringly apparent.

" Before," her voice less sure. " On the grass. Don't think it was your skills that had me pawing at you like that."

His stare didn't back down. " Wasn't it."

She scoffed at the egotism oozing from him, turning back onto the highway as she berated herself for falling into his traps. " Hardly. I can lie too if I have to you know. You're not the only one who knows how to manipulate a situation.

He faced the open highway again. The small cut on the side of his bottom lip beamed out at her. If possible it made him look more menacing, more recklessly deadly.

When he spoke it crinkled, emphasizing the shape of his bottom lip." Okay."

The smirk that played across his mouth dissolved whatever anger he was holding onto. Her words obviously amused him and his actions or reactions for that matter were having the opposite affect on her.

" What does that mean me?" she asked belligerently.

He licked his lips slowly. " What does what mean?" the aggravation of his bored tone was pulling her loathsomeness for him in ten opposite directions.

" You don't think I was acting back there?"

" I know you weren't." His eyes skimmed her face before going down for a sweet and torturous travel of her body. " Believe me I know."

Switching her attention back to the road she tried to come back at him. " You know shit."

" Right," he drawled in a patronizing tone meant to be unconvincing and maddening at the same time.

She shook her head, defeated, enraged by the rollercoaster of emotion shooting up and down her spine. " You got me all figured out don't you," she admitted in a whisper.

She didn't look to see if he was listening. She didn't have to, awareness crept through her the second his penetrating gaze landed on her.

" No, I mean it. You're right. You had me pegged from the second you met me. You knew what to say, what to do to get me to help you. I didn't know I was so easy to read. Here I thought I was hiding myself, keeping everything bottled up inside so no one could know how I really felt. So no one could get to me. And then you come along," she laughed hollowly, " You come along and know exactly what buttons to push."

Transfixed, Jason kept himself in check, forcing himself to listen when he wanted to act. It wasn't unusual. He usually was a man of few words, but right now he didn't like how foreign it felt living in his own body.

" You must have laughed your ass off. Me, gullible stupid me, helping the guy who was sent to kill my father. God, that must have been so entertaining for you. All those hours you spent up there thinking about what an idiot I was."

" I didn't." He said without thinking. " I mean, I wasn't."

She didn't seem to hear him. His words bounced off her. " How much longer?"

" Elizabeth-"

" How much longer?" She insisted, her voice straining. When she sneaked a glimpse his way, she hated the reflection of pity in his eyes. " Don't," she warned.

The muscle of his jaw jotted out and he reluctantly brought his concentration back to the road. " Keep going straight till you hit exit 94."

8

When Jason had mentioned that they were heading to a cabin, she didn't quite know what to expect. Her imagination depicted something along the lines of lincoln logs stacked together next to a tree stump with an axe chopped down the center. She pictured woods surrounding the small frumpy log monstrosity and hunters scattering a meadow near by.

Boy was she off.

There was dense patch of forest behind them, but it was the only part of the cabinish vision she was on target about.

The place, her personal prison, was enormous. The house, the beautiful knee length grass, green like the hilltops right out of the opening in the Sound of Music, revealing to her a glorious scene of cinematography. The postcard scenery that decorated the distance, it stunned Elizabeth into awed silence.

There was no dark, dank trees or scary dirt path that winded into more frightful unknowns. .

She was cemented in place; sure she was staring too hard at a brochure of some promotional vacation getaway.

The scene before her was breathtaking. A large house, mansion practically, expanded out, the length of it merging into a small bridge that led to a private lake. The color of fall tinted the leaves, a chill crisp enough to feel but dull enough to still appreciate the outdoors. The windows in the back of the house, the living room, were wall length, offering the miraculous sight encircling them invariable opportunity to enjoy.

There was a fireplace in the middle of the expansive living room colored in soft burgundy couches and gray walls. The brick fireplace warmed the bachelor ambiance giving it a homier vibe. The open kitchen was off to her far left.

Standing in the middle of the ivory hallway there were two doors one at each of her sides. Jason opened the one on her left, answering her question when a closet appeared. The door on her right was either her bedroom or a bathroom she guessed.

She stared, couldn't stop her jaw from gaping a slant open. Her feet were obstinate in their frozen position. This was a luxurious getaway not the kind of location one imagined when being held against their will.

" I don't get it." She didn't mean to share her skepticism out loud. " What's the catch."

Jason hauled the small bag of merchandise onto the floor, tossing it carelessly as it hit the wall and fell in a heap; not mindful that her rhetorical rambling actually sought an answer.

When he didn't respond, she was glad, hoping he hadn't heard her. They hadn't spoken the rest of the trip up after the kiss. She was too scared, nervous, anxious, and all of thee above to gather enough will power to care and try and talk. And Jason, he was too busy being his usual introspective unparticipating antisocial self.

It was the first time she was actually relieved he was sticking to a routine she could deal with. Talking to him, interacting with him on any level that meant they actually had to speak and look at one another was just testing fate.

It was unsettling how up and down they were with one another. One second they were hot –in- your- face snarling and the next neither seemed to gather up enough courage to even look at one another. And the kiss didn't help to relieve the tension.

_God_, the kiss.

Clearing her throat she made a funny strained sound as she tried more than once to relieve the heaviness that battled to conquer her normal breathing pattern. She was failing miserably.

" Is there a basement?"

She hadn't seen where he had disappeared too, but when he finally decided to answer her he was speaking from somewhere behind her; a not so distant place from her because she jumped in her skin at his answer.

" Why?"

" No, I just…I don't…where's the basement?" Her last syllable ending on a squeak.

" There is none." He replied slowly, peering at her as if she had lost her mind. " Why?"

" Well," she shrugged, uncomfortably, " where am I going to stay? I mean where are you going to keep me?"

No matter how fatigued she was, there was no misreading the insult that reached his eyes only to be recovered by his trademark stoicism.

" You room's off to the kitchen." He stepped around her, pointing in the general direction of the kitchen. She followed, leaning a foot into the meticulous looking living room to see the small shadowed hallway that branched out from the large black shiny kitchen.

" There's a connecting bathroom so," his shoulder's lifted and he appeared almost awkward in his movements, " you don't have to worry."

His awkwardness bled off into her. She was his hostage, his captive, his leverage as he delicately put it, but standing in the middle of this gorgeous over the top cabin, physical danger was the last thing she felt.

" Where are we?"

She thought he'd avoid her question, but was taken off guard again when he supplied an answer so freely. " Maine."

" Maine?"

" Yeah, Van Buren, Maine to be exact. We're right on the border of-"

" Canada," she finished.

Not hiding the bewildered wonder that had cropped over his machined expression, his answer was a bit muffled and slow; his stare bordering on indecently rude as he tried hard to demystify her just in one look.

" Yeah." He didn't recover well as he jammed his hands in his pocket and walked away only to lean against the small eating counter that separated the kitchen and living room.

Elizabeth didn't know if it was a residual effect of built up paranoia considering the intense circumstances, but she was almost positive he had moved away from her on purpose. Like he needed the distance.

The preposterous idea made _her_ nervous.

" I think I'm going to get some sleep," she announced timidly, walking past him.

He straightened before she made it two feet. " We need to talk about a few things first."

When he realized she wasn't going to pick a fight like usual, he bent his head a bit. Her eyes were shuffling everywhere but at him and her nervousness served his purpose at the moment. He was having the hardest time looking at her without thinking about the way they had kissed, the way she had responded so aggressively to him and the way he was tempted to know if she really was acting back there or not.

" This is a small town. Inconspicuous. We won't be bothered," he listed off casually.

When he said _we_ her eyes jumped back to his, made him pause in place and turn blank for a second, but he fell back on track the second he felt the thick silence grow between them.

" I don't know how long this is going to be, but I promise that if you do as I say, it'll be easier. For both of us."

She remained silent and he didn't hesitate to take advantage of the rare behavior.

" It's your choice. This can be hard or not. It's up to you. I need you to do what I say when I say it and trust me-"

That got her vocal chords chugging to work. " That's not possible. I don't trust you. And I never will."

" You don't have a choice in the matter" He pushed against the hard countertop and approached her. His statement already decisive that this conversation was ending on his terms. " You're here because of me. You're alive because of me and the only way you're going to stay that way is if you trust me to keep you safe."

She scoffed followed by a chuckle that was ruined by her bottomless mistrust of him.

" Trust isn't a light switch you turn on and off. I'm not safe because of you Jason. I'm in danger because of you. My life is at stake because I'm being held against my will by a mob enforcer. Do you think I suddenly forgot that? Because I can't. I won't."

" You're alive. Things could have gone down real differently if-"

" If the cops didn't show up," her anger rocked the level of her voice. " Spare me the hero bullshit. I'm not as naïve as you'd like to believe I am. Maybe I saved your life because I had no choice. Because the thought of you living seemed a whole lot nicer than having you put a bullet in my brain for not helping you."

"You wanna think I'm some saint who lives on some damn mountain, fine. Maybe that's what you wanted to see in me, but I know what I saw yesterday and I know you were there to kill my father. Turning it into some martyring act is just plain pathetic and desperate."

" Are you so sure?" He backed her into the hallway wall. His dark presence looming over her like a willow tree at dusk. " Are you that positive of what you believe or are you just that afraid to trust me?"

She gulped, cloaking her fear and listening to the evasive word play as he skittered the real issue. " You wanna talk about trust, okay," Her shoulders lifted, readily. " Lets talk about it. You want me to trust you so bad- tell me why you really came to my house yesterday morning. Were you there to kill me and my family? Or were you there to save us instead?"

8

"Should we answer it?" the man next to Max questioned.

Max picked up on the nervous jitter Ritchie was failing miserably to shield. He wasn't accustomed to the sight of his lifelong friend sweating on anything, but this assignment was more intense than anything either of them had ever dealt with.

In this business it was life or death no matter what course of action they took, no matter what messy situation they were sent in to clean. But the stakes were higher this time. Brutally so, he himself had woken up to a few nightmares in the last couple of days.

But when it came to duty, there was little choice but to do what you were told.

" Yeah man, we gotta." His eyes were back on the road, shrugging away the infectious worry that was bleeding off Ritchie and on to him. " It'll look bad if we don't."

Without waiting to convince himself this was wrong somehow, Ritchie pressed the answer button and brought the phone to his ear. " Uh, yeah boss?"

" Yeah boss?" the man on the other end shouted in outrage. " I don't hear from you in almost twenty four hours and that's what you fuckin say to me?"

Gulping, Ritchie opened his mouth a couple of times, encouraging his own brain that now would be the time to speak, but mentally his slate had been wiped clean.

" Where the fuck are you guys? I send you on a major assignment. Where was my check in?"

Ritchie visibly grimaced, his fingers clutching the smooth upholstery under him. " Sorry."

The man didn't veil his annoyance. " Sorry? This isn't fucking Walmart. You clock in late again you lose a finger, got it?"

" Yep, boss. Loud and clear." There was no equivocation in his genuine cooperation.

The breath released on the other end made Ritchie's muscles loosen a little from their tight grip.

" Did you get it done?"

" Done sir?" his voice broke.

Sonny gritted his teeth, his inquiry a deadly calm. " Have the Webbers been eliminated like I ordered?"

A led ball of nerves dropped and rolled through his stomach. Jason was going to kill him. He tried without success to subside the rattle in his voice when he answered him.

" Yes sir. We got it done."

" Good, good." Sonny sounded like a different person, happy, light, everything contradicting the monster Ritchie had just been interacting with. " Well, Jason's not picking up. I know he likes to take time away after an assignment, but I need to speak to him. Call him and tell him I'm looking for him."

The line went dead and all of Ritchie's insides jolted in nausea, Jason really was going to fuck him up, but at least the worst was over.

Step one- complete.


	23. Chapter 23

_Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand. Unknown_

Max jammed the keys in his pocket. He wanted a smoke bad.

The Nicotine gum he had been chewing for the last three hours had lost its flavor about two seconds after he started chomping on the measly excuse for a cigarette substitute.

" The car will be here soon," he informed, flicking the stale gum on the side of the road with his tongue. " Remember your story. Stick to it and don't get creative, alright?"

Ritchie's head was down. The shiny black tip of his dress shoe was nudging the uprooted grass. " Yeah, I got it."

Since the call the younger more inexperienced guard had been pretty silent at his side. He only answered direct questions, avoided personal topics, which wasn't unlike him, but since the call from their boss, he had become more overtly mum than usual for Ritchie.

" It's going work out man." Max delivered his encouragement with a slight smile, lightly. " We just gotta stick to what Jason said and it'll all work out."

Ritchie nodded, inhaling deeply. " Yeah I know. But this is…this big. We get caught and we're dead." He made no effort to hide his trepidation despite the secure front of temperance. "We're going against the man who pays us, the man who holds our lives in his hands. When I went to work for him-"

" You work for Jason, Ritchie. Jason is the one who found you. Both of us…we are on the street and he provided this work. I owe him my loyalty. No one else. Jason's right. What he's doing right now is the right thing and you know it." Max stated with a conviction that stemmed from a deep loyalty for his long friendship with Morgan.

Ritchie served his friend and coworker a defensive glare, the worry he had burrowing underneath spilling out as well. " I know. Okay, I know. That's why I agreed to help him. Jason made the right decision. I just…I'm new at this compared to you guys. I'm still green." He shrugged, backing away and letting his brown worried eyes skim the highway. " There's a lot at stake here."

" There usually is," Max nodded in a knowing way that told Ritchie he understood his concern because he had been there, " when you're trying to do the right thing."

" Yeah." Ritchie blew out a long exhausted breath.

" Yeah." Max scratched his square chin, glanced back at the minivan. " Okay. I'm going to jet. I should be in Maine by tonight if I floor it. I'll probably see you in a few days if everything goes according to plan."

When Ritchie just stared blankly back Max took a step forward. " Okay?"

" Yeah man. Okay." He tried a second time to cover his apprehension, but failed. " I got it. See ya soon."

Max hesitated for a second, not comforted by the anxiety that seemed to plague his friend. He was a rookie compared to him and Jason, but he was a good man. He would never do anything to jeopardize this situation.

With a short pat to the shoulder Max turned toward the domestic looking vehicle, relieved that the gritty part of the plan had been finished. Now all that was left was keeping Sonny in the dark until the cop's suspicions subsided and Mr. Corinthos' attention was averted elsewhere.

Ritchie heard the engine growl, moan in protest then gun to life. The sound was overwhelming at first than it faded off like the sound of a train in the distance. He pulled out his phone, holding it securely between his thick, clumsy fingers.

This was definitely a part of the job he hated. No matter how many times Max reassured him, his words wouldn't penetrate against the mounting discomfort building. They were betraying the head of the east coast mob for a family; for one family. His head was on the fucking block because of some chick that helped out Jason.

For some reason, standing in the grass, waiting for Jason's men to come get him, up to his ears in hindsight, the principle of the matter didn't seem worth it after all.

8

" Well," she shifted her weight to the left side of her body, unused to being the one in control of the conversation, " which is it. Were you going to kill us or save us?" she beseeched.

Feeling caught and momentarily distracted by the swirling midnight shade of her seeking orbs he removed himself from under her searching gaze and headed past her to the living room.

The small determent didn't dissuade her. " Answer me Jason. I need to know."

His shoulders were tensely squared, his back to her. She wasn't sure if he was preparing himself to lie to her or simply being evasive as was his standard conduct. Especially towards her it seemed.

" I'm trying to protect you." He finally exuded in a weary murmur. " If you can't see that I understand, but I can't help you."

" Jason-" Her tone fully intent on fighting him.

" Elizabeth." The one word spilled from his mouth in a surly warning.

His feet shuffled to move to the side, his profile to her. Reluctant in his steps, hesitant in his battle to speak and reveal too much he started, " I know," than stopped, licking his lips in concentration before twisting to meet her gaze. " I know this is hard for you."

Swiftly she shook her head, rejecting the supposed concern that flowed within the deep timber of his voice. " No. You can't possibly know what I've been through. What I'm going through. And my family? How am I supposed to know they are okay? Because you say so? Yesterday morning you had a gun to my head, do you remember that?"

He tore his eyes away from hers, his profile hardening over his squared jaw that looked ready to break from the strain. " This is my life, my job. If I scared you I'm sorry, but it's who I am. I won't apologize for that."

She exhaled a disappointing huff from her nostrils. " You have a funny way of talking out of both sides of your mouth, do you know that?"

His head raised, but didn't meet hers. " Job requirement."

" Is it part of your job killing women and children? Was my family part of your job?"

He trimmed the emotion threatening to invade the answers she rightly deserved; swallowed and turned completely to lay a resolute glare her way. " Your father was."

Her skin suddenly prickled, but she forced herself not to fidget or move. " So you were planning to…" the words stuck in her throat, gagging on them, " kill him."

" Yes," his soft confession a complete contradiction to his horrifying admission.

The sour liquid of her stomach rose to bubble at the base of her throat. " When I found you that night, bleeding…you were going to kill him. That's why you were there."

She looked like she had gone inside herself. Her eyes were folding in, soaking in the reality of what he was capable of; battling against who he truly was and what she had come to think of him from her own encounters with him.

Her face, the blank aversion that had set itself as a mask over her features, hacked across his belly like a steel hook slicing until the contents of his stomach lay spilt on the floor.

" I see." Her tiny answer falling between them, the sound like a hollow drum.

He was gone, already deep inside the small kitchen when her vision cleared from tears that refused to fall.

" And yesterday?"

She thought his back would be the only glimpse of him he would allow. She wasn't prepared for the blunt clarity of ice blue centered on her when she turned to follow his retreating form.

" Why were you there yesterday?"

" You know the truth. Does anything else really matter?"

He hated how heartless he sounded. He didn't know if he was trying to overcompensate for the revulsion that rolled through her or it was simply a knee jerk reaction to being corned.

The truth, he knew, was never easy and hardly pure. In his experience, it didn't set you free, never once had it enlightened him. It just opened you up to further invasion, further probing until someone who thought they had a right to know, saw something they didn't like and made plans to change what they felt was wrong.

And when you refused to change they'd leave you high and dry because for some reason, no one is ever quite good enough.

The truth was ugly and barely tolerable and with a girl like Elizabeth, he wasn't sure she could handle much more. Burdening her further so he could ease his conscious angered him. He never experienced the compulsion to rectify wrongdoing to someone and now, if this urge was the twitch of conscience surging forth inside him, he didn't like it.

She came closer, stunning him again when she didn't do what he expected. " It matters to me," she stuttered, " Does that mean anything to you?"

He copied her movement, narrowing the distance between them while at the same time heightening the level of awareness. He hadn't looked away and from the way his eyes remained attached to her face, it appeared he didn't plan to.

" I came to the house yesterday to send you away."

" Away?"

" You and your family. I was going to give you new identities. Send you here for a few months until the dust cleared and then tell you to move again so that no one, not even me, knew where you were."

Trying to understand, her eyes continued to probe him as her words ventured further in her quest to know the truth. " So something like the witness protection program only this is the mob doing this?"

He nodded, solider-like and uncomfortable in her knowledge of his doings. " Something like that."

" Mr. Corinthos, Sonny, he ordered this?"

The militant hold slipped a little, his voice husky as he peered down at her and her naivety. " No. I did."

" I don't understand-"

He interrupted, curtly." Mr. Corinthos had other arrangements regarding you and your family's future. I disagreed and I'm seeing to it that you don't have to suffer the fate that he thought was necessary."

" In other words he wanted us dead." She unraveled his fancy explanation in a plain disgusted tone. " He was going to kill me, my little brother, my parents and Sam just like that?"

" Yes."

" Why?" she demanded.

His eyes lingered, swaying between hers, attempting in reluctance to dissect what was going through her. " That's something you should ask your father."

" I'm asking you," she pushed.

It was a defeated endeavor but he fought to keep his voice even. " And I'm telling you, it's not my place to say."

He went around her, grabbing the forgotten heap of merchandise he'd left in the hallway. When he returned seconds later he moved past her to the front counter nearest to the black refrigerator, unpacking the necessities with his back to her.

" You tell me that you were going to kill my father, now you are saving him and his family and that's it? I'm supposed to just swallow this. Be quiet and nod my head while I trust you blindly to keep me safe?"

His unpacking didn't rest.

Frustration stampeded through her, like an inflammable inferno. She wanted to throw something, break some piece of furniture. Right now, she wished she had one of her old canvases. They had come into good use during some of her hardest times at home.

It was too much for any one person to deal with. Least of all her. She wasn't genetically built for this type of trauma. What god did she piss off that she deserved this as her fate?

" I need air."

" Wait."

The word stopped her even though she hadn't stepped a foot outside her little spot. But she really meant it. She wanted to leave. She didn't want to be part of this. She didn't want any of this to be happening to her right now. She wished, god, she was never one to sit there and wish, but if she could she wished none of this had ever happened.

" You're not going anywhere."

She hated how confident he sounded. Not of her but in his ability to keep her there, like he swore some oath. It maddened her beyond reason. She didn't want his protection and yet she knew without it she would be lost, most likely dead.

So this was his job. His job was to make sure she stayed alive. She was his obligation. She hated that word, hated it every day of her life because it was what she thought her parents pictured when they saw her.

" This is hard. I know."

He was leaning against the other counter now farther away. The distance relieved some of the pressure that tended to escalate whenever he was in close proximity with her.

A little more able to breathe, like she didn't have an elephant laying on her chest, she met him halfway and pulled back a bit when she decided to speak. " You can't possibly know what I'm going through. Not just me, my family. They don't know what's happened to me. They could think I'm dead for all they know."

" They don't." He replied, assuring, but informatively. " They know you're safe, they just don't know where."

" Why?" A little bolder, she fiddled with her sweater, the same sweater she had been wearing for the past twenty something hours.

He grabbed the empty plastic bag from behind, seeming to know where it was without turning. " It's safer. For everyone."

She paused, thought he'd say something, give some glimpse into what lay ahead, what her near future entailed considering he was holding it in the palm of his hand, but he didn't. And she wasn't about to stop short just when she was getting somewhere.

" Until?"

" What?" His brow lowered, like he had been caught off guard from a distracted direction his thoughts had taken him.

" When? When can I see them again?" she asked in a forced tone.

He scratched the side of his nose, contemplating the question as it bounced back and forth. She wondered if it was stalling tactic to aggravate her until she got frustrated enough to walk away or if it was genuine and he really did have no clue where things would go from here.

Either answer didn't please her.

" None of us were planning for the cops. I was going to send you away. All of you, make it look like your house was robbed, tell my boss we had done what he wanted."

" Yeah, but wouldn't he have wanted evidence or something to see if you got the job done right?"

She hadn't intentionally meant to make him scowl, but he did. So she zipped her mouth closed and just listened.

His stare was placed on her, weighty and dark when she gathered courage to look.

He did a sorry job of clearing his voice. It sounded coarse and impenetrable when he finally graced her with his reasons.

" Sonny trusts me. He would never ask something like that of me. He knows I would never go against him."

She didn't respond, didn't feel like she had the right to. If she could speak she was quite sure she wouldn't know what to say. She nodded instead.

" Until now." His resolutely confirmed. " He was wrong and I'm trying to make this right for you. That's why you have to trust me."

" What's going to happen to my family?" Was that her that sounded so unsteady? She was in the middle of clearing the cobwebs out of her own throat when she noticed him step closer.

He stopped for a second, mid kitchen, then walked the rest of the way, two steps for him before he was standing right in front of her, not meaning to but intimidating her and shallowing her breathing pattern.

" They're in a holding place. Like this. We need to wait a few weeks. When the trail goes cold and cops aren't looking anymore, it won't be long till you see them. It might take a while, but you'll be together again."

Somehow he was able to read the question in her eyes as she peered up at him.

" Sonny will never know."

Brushing away the soothing quality of his reassurance, she went on as if she hadn't heard him. " This is the mob. I know they don't forget this kinda stuff."

" Like I said, he trusts me. If I tell him I took care of it, he won't ask again."

Compelled to dig deeper, she made herself ask," And then what? We live under assumed names and start over again?"

She could tell he wanted to end the conversation, stop talking, but he didn't; something about the way he looked through her, almost like he was looking over her…trying not to care, feel.

" Yeah," his low reply fractured the thick silence.

Elizabeth was the first to break away. Halfway in the living room, peering out the enormous windows and hoping to God that this was some sort of sick nightmare her warped imagination had created.

The facts had all been laid in front of her like a buffet of information, perfectly set in place for her to comprehend and understand at her own personal pace. She remembered taking care of Jason, the haunting anxiety that never left her father, getting ready to leave her home only to be kidnapped and separated from her family by the same man who she had aided to good health.

Rolling through the mental list, she was positive she wouldn't survive the rest. She didn't know how she had made it this far without collapsing into a messy heap of drooling spasms.

" I don't…I can't believe this," she whispered to herself, muffling the words in her sweater-covered palm.

Her lids drooped a bit, the weight of the past twenty four hour's events falling hard on her shoulders. Outside, it was light out still. The sun wasn't as strong but there was adequate daylight left if needed. She wanted to walk, feel the cool breeze caress her face as she gulped in greedy amounts of fresh air.

She needed the space to think, to feel, get a grip on what was happening without being under the microscope of her new babysitter.

The soothing quality of his voice descended on her just as his warm palms molded her shoulders and gently squeezed the tension away. " You okay? "

No. " Yeah, I'm fine." The answer came from some automatic reflex because she didn't remember thinking about what to say, how to say it. She wanted to go for a walk, talk to herself, not him. " I think I'll unpack."

She didn't move and neither did he. His body was still barricaded behind hers. The heat of him was filtering though her, making her dizzy for sleep again. It was weakening and dousing like he had some natural elixir seeping from him to her, making her stay in place when she wanted to remove herself more than anything.

" I'm fine. You can go do what you need to do."

" You don't look fine."

" Yeah, well, how I look is not exactly something I can help." She jotted her shoulder blades out, hoping he'd receive the not to subtle gesture and remove his hands. " You got a problem with it, talk to god."

Light air, accompanied by a soft amusing chuckle, stirred the hair around her ears. I fueled the irritability inside her." This doesn't exactly fit you, you know. Pretending to care. I don't need it. And I'm sure it's not part of you're job description."

She felt the loss of his hands immediately followed by a spring of hot tears in her eyes.

" You never give an inch, do you." The hypnotizing tone was gone replaced by his usual unemotional short words.

" I'm tired," she felt compelled to defend herself.

" You're cranky."

" I think I have a right to be."

" Get some sleep then."

" I don't want to."

" If you want I can make some tea-"

" Please," she whirled around, for a second halted by his closeness, but she refused to lose ground just because he was practically standing right on top of her. " I don't need you to be my babysitter."

" I'm just trying to help."

" Help? Is that part of some training course you guys take before you do your first kidnapping job." She scoffed, her eyes beaming up indignation his way. " I don't need your help."

His jaw was working overtime, his teeth milling away as they grounded together, but he didn't speak up to defend himself. His stare was a muddled mixture of anger and empathy. Both, she wanted nothing to do with. She wanted herself away from him. That's all.

" Like you helped me before. In the motel? Is that how you want to help me?"

Scarlet rose, shading his skin, but it wasn't from embarrassment.

" Was that part of your job as well. Telling me you wanted me, making me think you cared…kissing me? What kinda bonus did that get you?" she provoked in a mirthless whisper of tears and anger. She wiped her cheeks. " How much did that kiss get you?"

He stepped away as if she had slapped him. He clawed his fingers through his hair in a haphazard manner, turning and hitting the edge of the fireplace on the way to the kitchen.

" What's the matter Jason. I hit a nerve." The power shift of control made her body feel buoyant and light, shoving her sensibility away. " You don't seem like the bashful type and I'm sure you've done a lot naughtier things than messing around with someone involved in one of your assignments."

He threw the plastic bag that was left on the counter in the cabinet underneath, went back to the refrigerator and opened it.

" Why can't you look at me. You afraid of what you might see. Feeling ashamed that you took advantage of a situation that you regret taking advantage of."

He slammed the door shut. He never took anything out of the frig. " If that's what you want to believe, I can't stop you."

" So it's true?" she badgered, not being able to help herself. " You used me. You used me to get me to trust you."

Statuesque, unmoving, nothing was out of place as he finally delivered the words she had dreaded, but knew were true.

" Yes," he swallowed. " I used you."

She was glad she didn't feel herself about to cry. It was the last thing she needed and yet it was first thing her body sought to do. She hated crying, especially in front of him, but the two always seemed to come together somehow.

Not now, though. Now she was numb, partially mad with herself for swallowing his obvious come- ons but mostly mad because she let him get to her. She let herself open up to him and now she was suffering the consequences of her own actions.

" Thank you," she whispered, the lump in her throat morphing into a giant ball of emotion, threatening to consume her. " Thank you for proving me right all along. I made a mistake. One I'll never make again."

She ran the rest of the way to her room and he didn't stop her. He wouldn't know what to say if he did. She was determined to believe the worst in herself which bothered him more than he liked to admit, but he understood the lack of faith she had concerning him. He had done nothing but tear at her trust in him, other people in general.

But she had a better chance at surviving this situation if she wasn't emotionally tied to anyone but her family. She was strong, stronger than she gave herself credit for.

He heard the door slam. His eyes closed before he stared out into the empty area before him. He had to be strong as well, that's why he needed to get the hell of here before he did something he'd regret. He was beginning to do that a lot lately and if it was one thing he hated, it was forming any sort of habit that left him weak.

If he was going to keep Elizabeth safe he had to be fully alert, head above water. That meant staying at arm's length with her, putting as much distance between them as possible.

Things that used to be so easy to do, now, were not.

But it wasn't that way anymore. Nothing was the same and he didn't know how he was supposed to handle it. He just knew he wasn't doing a very good job so far.


	24. Chapter 24

"_Saying nothing…sometimes says the most." Emily Dickinson _

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Since he gotten back Ritchie had been repeating those words over and over in his head like it was his own personal mantra. He was hanging on to the sentiment like it was his life support, his motivation for taking each step.

When he joined Mr. Corinthos' organization last year, he was pretty positive it wasn't because of his lying capabilities. Jason had referred him to the higher boss because he was good with his gun and he took orders better than most cocky twenty five year olds.

He had a clean record which was unusual for someone from the city who had joined a gang at twelve, but that was Ritchie through and through. He was good at not getting caught. Not because of his outstanding skill to bend the truth to his liking but because he had a knack for keeping his mouth shut and not drawing unwanted attention.

Whenever the heat had been brought down on him and his guys he was the one to clear things up, either by talking to the brawlers involved or by finding the quickest escape and getting his men out in the fastest time possible. Jason had told him once he had an eye for finding a way out when none was possible.

It was one of the reasons why Jason had chosen him for this particular job. That and because he was specifically under Jason's order. There were men who worked directly for Sonny then men who were under Jason's jurisdiction. He, luckily, was under Morgan.

It's not like he hated Mr. Corinthos. Far from it. He respected the man, was even a little envious of his vast power and influence. Ritchie just couldn't do anything right by Sonny. He was a hard man to please. When Ritchie was silent, Sonny wanted his advice. When Ritchie gave his opinion, Sonny wanted him to shut the fuck up.

He couldn't win. And it drove him crazy.

He didn't know why, but it had become Ritchie's personal mission to please the higher up. He knew he'd never advance anywhere if Mr. Corinthos didn't approve of his work.

Standing in front of the Penthouse 3 door, hand in midair, he felt more than a little foolish. Jason had given him the specific orders of what not to say. Max and he had gone over the mundane checklist at least a hundred times, but he still felt completely unprepared.

He was going to mess up somehow. He could feel it in his bones when he pictured Sonny's black stare dissecting his thin fortress of excuses.

Leaning his thick knuckles on the shiny wood, stalling time was over. This was life or death and he had to step up for Max and Jason. They needed him.

His light wrap was heard instantly. It was almost as if Mr. Corinthos was sitting there, waiting for him.

" Yeah, come in."

Ritchie nodded, prepping himself. His boss sounded like he was in a decent mood. But then you could never quite tell with a mercurial person such as Sonny Corinthos. His temperamental nature had a tendency to swing dramatically from one side to another without warning.

" Boss." He waved his hand in the air, nodded again with a short greeting of a smile.

Sonny wasn't at his desk. He was sitting by the fireplace on the corner of the large extended couch. It was odd. He never sat there. Usually he was at his desk, pouring over plans, future take- overs, shipments that needed to be moved, and dates or he was in the single armchair in the corner of the room, sipping his brandy with a deep pensive look to match his impervious frown.

Now his back was to Ritchie, brandy in his hand, but it appeared as if it hadn't been touched. Mr. Corinthos was still wearing his pajamas and it was hours past noon. The ordinarily meticulous man's hair was disheveled and unkempt, his face weary and worried with lines and dark shadows.

He looked like shit.

Clearing the automatic burn of nerves in his throat that usually accompanied Ritchie when he was in Mr. Corinthos' presence, he made his usual offering.

" You need anything boss?"

Sonny responded by directing a foggy glare his way.

He looked worse than Ritchie suspected. Eyes blood shot, hair greasy, dirt under his fingernails. He looked like another man entirely.

" Boss," he tried again, " you want me to get you something?"

" Like what?" he asked, his voice was shaky and hoarse like it hadn't been used in days.

" Whatever you need." Ritchie forced the nonchalant tone, hoping it didn't sound rehearsed.

" What I need," his voice came out even lower, deadlier, than before, " is answers."

The initial cramping of his gut subsided quicker than Ritchie hoped for. " Things went well. Better than expected."

Sonny fingered the three day scruff of beard on his cheek, eyeing the glass of brandy that lay lazily in between his fingers. " Details."

Fuck. This was the part he was dreading.

" Uh, well, we got there and they were on their way out. They had their things packed and everything, but we got to them. Executed them like you ordered, ransacked the house to make it look like a robbery, and brought the bodies to the shop. We cut them up like normal and you know…local dumpster and shit."

" Who killed the girl?" he asked with a precise interest that bordered on voyeuristically perverted .

" A, um, Jason, of course." He shrugged when Sonny planted him with an unsatisfied scowl. " Well, I mean, she trusted him the most so he told her to come out back and she listened. She got the family to stay together and not panic and then we, uh, got rid of them."

Sonny downed the half filled glass of liquor in one gulp, set it on the extreme corner of the ottoman. " Jason killed her first or last?"

Shit, shit, shit…Ritchie forgot Jason had a methodical approach to his killings. He always killed the person most important first or last, he just forgot which one. Jason's accuracy was a talent given by birth, but his ability to make his target suffer was something Mr. Corinthos instilled in him over the years.

It was payment for betrayal. Watch your loved ones, coworkers, die, knowing the same grim fate laid waiting for you.

" Last. Of course."

Sonny's chin did the nodding as he relaxed back into the sofa. " Must've been hard." He remarked, untouched. " I could see he was fond of the girl."

" He did what he had to. You know Jason." Ritchie explained, felt the need to with the slight hint of misgiving that crept into his bosses' comment.

" Yeah, I do know Jason. Better than you." He eyed his guard disdainfully, with a challenge Ritchie wasn't sure how to interpret, but before he could Sonny waved his hand in the direction of the door. " Go away and don't bother me unless Jason calls. I want to know the minute he arrives."

Ritchie was already heading towards the door when he answered. " Okay."

"Oh and Ritchie?"

" Yeah?" he turned, his hand on the knob, his one foot halfway out the door.

" Jason's okay?"

Ritchie came up empty, struggling for words that no one ever really had an answer to.

" Like you said boss, you know Jason. I can never really tell with him."

" He did the right thing. I know it was hard for him, but in this business, it was the right thing."

Ritchie eye's remained glued to the marble floor. " Yep, you're right. Jason knows that."

Sonny nodded with a finality that meant the conversation was over. He was back to staring at the scanty fire, the barely visible flames. He closed the door, muting the click with the soft turn of his hand.

The trapped breath made its' relieved escape from his mouth when he didn't hear the bark of Sonny's voice calling him back.

He wasn't sure he had done the good job in covering as Jason and Max had been confident he would do. But he delivered what they asked and it was over now.

Sonny would probably never mention the incident to him again and he seemed satisfied with the answers provided. Ritchie had forgotten about Jason's personal preference when it came down to the details of how he actually performed his killings, but Ritchie was pretty sure he had been correct in his remembered guess.

Jason usually worked alone, he preferred it that way. He worked fast and he didn't have the patience to wait for people who didn't think on their feet. But since this was a family job, he asked for more men and Sonny didn't grow suspicious because the unusual request made sense.

Whatever specifics regarding Jason's killing methods, Ritchie only learned from hear say. Otherwise he had never been witness. Although he had always been curious he knew Jason was a man who valued his solitude and since Ritchie wasn't someone who liked to make waves, he didn't push. He figured the time would come when he got his chance to work with him.

He just never thought it would involve something like this. This situation wasn't exactly how he imagined his first mission with Morgan.

At least the worse was over. Ritchie leaned into the wall right next to the door, the worst had to be over. He had already lied to Sonny, the family was where he was told to hold them, and Jason was taking care of the girl.

Yeah, the worst was definitely over.

8

She woke to the rumbling of thunder, distant but threateningly palpable just like a far off dream that stayed with as your mind floated towards consciousness.

She wasn't sure why she was surprised when she awoke in the strange bed and was instantly disappointed when it wasn't hers.

The sheets smelled unfamiliar. The bedcover was stiff from lack of use. The room itself was twice as large as her old room, but that wasn't saying much considering her old room was about the size of a walk-in closet.

Tan walls, tan sheets, her blanket was darker than the room color but still in the tan family. There was even a light wooden desk next to the window that overlooked the same glorious view of trees.

The quaint, neat, practicality of it all reminded of her very much of a hotel room. Nothing flamboyant , nothing to garish, the room exuded the perfect ambiance of need and subtlety. It made her feel oddly peaceful and disturbing at the same time.

She knew she wasn't home. She couldn't pretend to be even if she clicked her heels together a million times and wished it with every fiber of her being. The smell, the air around her, the still atmosphere, there was nothing about this place that could help to remind her of her life back in Port Charles, of a place she needed now more than ever.

Her grimy body called for a shower and she actually smiled at the thought of feeling the hot scalding water pouring down her body, washing away the dirt and unclean film that coated her.

Her hair felt weighed down with all the oil that had probably saturated her scalp. She had been wearing the same clothes for the past two days. That knowledge alone disgusted her enough to get her lethargic bones up and moving even though they protested for more sleep.

She stripped off her sweater than her raggedy jeans, forgetting to take them off last night when she had fallen on her bed crying. She had been so exhausted from the tears that had wrenched from her chest to her face, ripping at her skin as they fell bitterly tortured her, scolding her as the liquid embedded her cheeks, her nose, the last thing on her mind was what she was wearing.

Her face felt crusty and tight. When she glanced in the oval mirror of the bathroom, she grimaced sourly. The bright light was harsh on her sensitive eyes and she closed them momentarily feeling the rise of water behind her lids because of the unusual strength of the four sixty watt light bulbs.

She could instantly tell where her tears had fallen. There was dryness and shininess like her cries had formed a mask of their own on her face. She used the fresh water of the sink to wipe them away, taking the hand towel to dry the evidence of her weakness away. Her face was a brightly clean red when she cast another look at her reflection.

She still looked as awful as one could look under such circumstances, but her vanity, which she had little to begin with, held little importance to her in the grand scheme of her circumstances. Lines, dark smudges of tiredness, squinty eyes, these were assets her body and mind had never fully grasped the importance of even before such troubles became her burden.

Showers were therapeutic to her. The water, the steamy heat, temporarily rinsed away the impending sense of doom. For a moment, just one moment, she could feel like herself again, whole and complete, confident that everything would be okay, because that is what she truly believed.

Of course, it didn't last.

No wondrous feeling so grand ever did. She remembered her sister gabbing one time on the phone to Courtney how sex was like that. It was this amazing feeling like having your finger stuck in an electric socket while eating chocolate covered strawberries. Scary and absolutely exhilarating all at the same time, but it was so fleeting it almost made the enjoyment seem worthless. The pleasure of the moment ended before it even began.

She remembered ease dropping because she was so extremely curious. About sex that is. Before she knew what she was doing her ear was against the door, her mouth agape at the words spilling from Sam's mouth about her first experience. Elizabeth was thirteen, Sam was fifteen.

She blushed at the intimate description that poured without shame from her sister's eager tellings. She almost could recall in detail the way Sam went on about how every part of her body, her limbs, her pores, even the tips of her ears came alive, rose and waved when she came.

She also knew Sam was wrong.

Elizabeth had only one experience to draw on but it was a full and empty experience none the less. Yes, she was drunk and yes, she had wanted the feeling for all the wrong reasons, with someone she could barely tolerate when she was sober, but it was sex none the less.

But still, the mountain of adjectives, all very positive and detailed, dimmed compared to the real deal of awkward jumbling limbs and clumsiness. She never felt any of those wonderful sensations Sam had described. There was hard pressure that followed Lucky's weight on her and then it was over.

She was drunk but her memory had never let her forget the horrible moment. Never.

At least she had her showers. The water, overwhelming, pounding over her small body, softened her limbs, washed away the kinks in her tense muscles, the heat massaging away the pressure on her skull.

She lifted her head, her face in direct contact with the power of the water jetting from the nozzle. She closed her eyes, giving into the warm sensations of the small heated beads that pelted her eyes and nose. She opened her mouth, the water was equally hot on her tongue but it felt nice, refreshing. Like a cleansing.

Too bad she couldn't stay like this forever. Her sister was right. Nothing good ever did last. She smiled morosely against the never ending rain of water spraying across the bare plane of her face. It was probably the first and last time she'd ever agree with her sister in this lifetime.

8

The coffee tasted bitter.

He sipped the dark brown liquid again; the sour feel stronger than the first time.

Already standing over the sink, he dumped the contents of what consisted of his breakfast and began to clean it.

His sigh was harsh and unforgiving when it fell from his mouth. He rinsed the soap off the cheap mug and slammed it into drain board, knowing he was failing at curbing his frustration.

He hadn't slept all night. Usually three or four hours would suffice for him. Jason never slept more then six hours anyway. Oddly, the thought of sleeping always made him feel vulnerable and exposed. He liked knowing what was going on around him. He liked being aware of all movements. Plus his job required he be prepared for any and every possibility at all times.

It's like he had built in radar which was fine with him. But since he was running on forty eight hours of no sleep, he was ready to drop. His body ached, his mind was paste, and his fingers wouldn't stop shaking. Even his side hurt.

He needed a caffeine fix. Black, no sugar or cream, just one sixteen ounce cup in the a.m. and he was set for the day.

Rubbing his temple, Jason braced one hand on the sink, moving at a ferocious rate, making the skin redden under his careless kneading.

If he was honest with himself, he had spent the whole night avoiding the truth. His bad mood had nothing to do with lack of sleep or any other excuse. It had nothing to do with the pain in his head or the fatigue beating up his body.

It was her.

All her.

He spent half the night sitting in the dark of the living room, the other half standing outside her door, listening for tears or worse; wondering if she was alright, if he had hurt her so bad that she was planning to damage herself in the process. He could tell she was a smart girl, but he also knew there was only so much suffering a person could bear before they snapped.

He wouldn't let his mind go there. He refused to believe Elizabeth would go down such a dark path. He meant nothing to her. She hated him. He saw it on her face, could hear it in her voice whenever she got within ten feet of him.

It was delusional, almost arrogant, to believe he could have such a strong influence over her. Maybe before, before all this shit came to surface, but not now. Now when she looked at him, there was no mistaking her abhorrence. It was hard to miss when it radiated off her like a beacon.

The sound of the bedroom door shutting clicked in his ear, the soft thud was followed by the slap of bare feet.

Suddenly he remembered he wasn't wearing a shirt. It had gotten so hot in the living room last night, he was sweating like he had been working in the warehouse all day. So he had stripped it off along with his socks and jeans. Thank god he remembered to put those back on.

But his shirt was still in the living room.

Jason made a mad dash, jumping over the four foot counter that separated the two rooms before heading straight for the couch. His eyes did a quick thorough scan for the dark blue shirt, throwing the cushions off then flopping them messily back in place.

It was a waste anyway.

Elizabeth was already entering the kitchen. He could feel her eyes on his back and he did another fast skim, but in such a rush he came up empty. Either it was under another pillow or the couch had swallowed it up.

When he faced the kitchen her back was to him. He heard her gentle hum, the soft pad of her feet shuffling against the floor tiles. Her hair was still damp from her shower, waving and free from its' usual ponytail style. Her skin had a flushed tint from the steam and he could smell the clean soapy scent of her soap. She smelled like honey and brown sugar.

Richly sweet and inexhaustibly intoxicating.

He faced back to the window. His mood just went from gloomy to homicidal.

He breathed out, his chest unexpectedly tight.

It was okay. He was pretty fucking sure she was never going to speak to him again anyway. And since he was leaving it really-

" I'm going to make some breakfast. You want some?"

From any other woman the deep rasp of a question he had just heard would have sounded an awful lot like more than just a simple invitation for food. The alluring gathering of words posed so many different scenarios and from the many women he had shared breakfast with, he could tell when they just wanted food or when their x-rated minds were considering other options for a satisfying first meal.

But it wasn't any other women. Elizabeth wasn't any women.

She was…well, she was Elizabeth and he never knew what to expect when it came to her. But he was sure her offer for breakfast was simply that- and offer for breakfast.

The unknowingly double meaning made his backbone tingle for no reason but the simple fact that she was so unaware of how erotic she could be and how clueless she was of her own power over him. Her innocence provoked him, made him want to toy with her, play an unwitting game of sexual undertones.

Unfortunately he knew that was a far impossibility. She despised him and he was not going to play Russian roulette with himself. He wasn't that much of a masochist.

His frustration increased, multiplying by the minute. He regretted not taking that waitress Jamie up on her offer. Maybe he wouldn't be so agitated and moody if he had just-

" You want some or not?"

His eyes shut. " No," his sharp decline was spouting off his tongue before he could revert back to his silence.

He heard her whisper okay and his eyes squeezed down from the barely audible sadness in her voice. He was such a bastard.

Deciding to sit but not turn, he leaned back into the couch. He had a while before Max would be there and take over. He needed the distance desperately. Being this close to her for such a long period of time was starting to gnaw at his strict discipline. This wasn't his first job with guarding duty. He had done this sorta assignment countless times and with far less precision and effort.

Her hum drifted into the living room, rising a bit, like an entrancing aroma of sound, hitting his senses, dulling his strength and iron reserve.

" How did you sleep?" he heard himself say; the condition of his own voice almost equal to hers in soreness.

The moving of pots and pans halted. She sighed before she continued and said, " Fine, thanks."

He shook his head, the pressure on his chest plate lessening a scant. " Good." He licked his dry lips. " I'm glad," he whispered, only for him to hear.

" What?"

" What?" he turned his head.

Suddenly shy, she brought her attention back to the stovetop. " I thought you said something," she gulped slowly, talking underneath her breath.

" Oh no." He sat up, straightening under the profuse awkwardness of the moment. It was ridiculous, not to mention unlike him to be so aware and unsure of the fact of how to deal with her. She was just a woman. Well, girl, technically.

He made his way over to the open kitchen, her particular delectable smell mixing with the eggs she was whipping in the clear bowl. She was definitely more at ease in the kitchen. She seemed to know exactly where everything was, what to do.

He took in the abnormal sight, waiting for a small fissure of panic to strike his heart. Usually when any woman started getting domestic on him and most he came in contact with wasted no time, it was a sign they needed the boot.

Cooking meant cleaning, cleaning meant they were comfortable enough with the place to start rearranging, which in turn meant keeping things of theirs in a draw. It was small shit like that that made most men see the neon warning sign up ahead, the dirty word of commitment beaming right in their eyes to the point where they could think of nothing else.

He must have been missing some vital brain cell that yearned to make home because he never wanted it, never envisioned his future coming close to anything that resembled a normal family. The two point five kids, the collie, minivan, none of the American suburban lifestyle conjured up any sort of reaction in him but to run screaming in the opposite direction. Settling down in any way shape or form wasn't a path his mind even ventured down.

Elizabeth, for the first time, seemed to be completely unaware of him. Her humming continued, some tune he didn't care to figure out. Her hips glided timidly from side to side, her front grazing the high counters with every unconscious sway.

He noticed she was wearing the same clothes from yesterday sans the ugly bulky sweater. Her jeans were too baggy for his taste as well, disguising her whole form from view and from what he could remember of her shape, she had one. A very cute nice one.

The only time he fully saw her body in its all glaring beauty was when he was bleeding and on death's door. But even shot and semiconscious he could still, now, recall the baby blue sundress and how the fabric cupped and hugged her lush breasts. The practically sheer fabric strained as she bent lower and there, in the dark, he could almost make out one ripe red cherry-

A zip of electricity buzzed under his skin. He shook it off and looked away.

He remembered her skin was luminescent, like angel's wings. The ultra femininity of her body left a paralyzing image that was forever permanently seared in his memory. It was something he wished he could forget. Especially when he was recovering, in her attic. He tried to think of other things, he forced his mind to go down another avenue of thoughts, but he always strayed back.

But that was the one and only night she had ever worn something close to revealing. Other than that she stuck to clothes that tended to conceal her shapely curves rather than revel in them.

It was a fucking shame, but it was better off for him. Sanity wise.

The plain white t-shirt she was sporting now was tighter than her usual attire. The material between the valley of her breasts stretched every time her arms moved, even an inch.

It was sick and not like him to be so distracted by such a small insignificant thing. But he was.

Clearing his throat and hopefully the effect of his wandering mind, his attention went back to the present, undividedly captivated in what she was doing.

" You like to cook." It wasn't a question, just a very obvious observation from the uninhibited grin on her face.

" I guess," she murmured, distracted as she poured the scrambled yokes in the frying pan.

" It's definitely something I can do without messing up."

Her chuckle at the end of her comment didn't sit well with him, but the last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable so she'd walk away. He had a talent for doing that when it came to her. " You did it a lot at home?"

She paused, only for a split second, but he saw it and immediately tasted his foot.

" I cooked three times a week. It was part of my chores. Sam had to also, but I liked doing it. Plus, Tommy always liked my cooking."

" Chores." The word sounded foreign coming off his tongue. " What can you cook?"

" Anything. I can't make fancy stuff. I make a great meatloaf and my mashed potatoes are always the creamiest. At least that's what Lulu always said." She tripped a bit on her last phrase. Her friend's name faded into the air, evaporating into nothingness; kinda like the blank sheet of paper her face had morphed into.

" You okay?" He didn't like the way she paused as her body swayed forward a bit.

" Fine." She answered too quickly.

His feet were up and he was next to her before he realized it. He trained his voice to remain light. " I can finish."

She turned her back a bit to him, not relenting in her cooking." No, I'm fine."

She was a terrible liar. Her face was paler than her t shirt, her eyes were hollow, rimmed red, shadowed blue, her lips were bloodless and chapped and her body was doing that trembling thing again.

Jason wasn't a man accustomed with having to be delicate with his words, but he fought to remain relaxed with her. It took all the strength inside of him." Maybe after this you can get some more sleep. It looks like you could use a couple more hours."

" That bad," she mumbled into her chest. Her face remained hidden by her curtain of hair.

He paused," No. No I mean-"

" I know what you mean. I get it."

He didn't like the edge of cynicism that laced her answer." No. No I don't think you do."

Then she turned, pulling a one eighty with her voice and expression. " You sure you don't want me to make you some?" she smiled

" No." His reply was severe. " What's wrong?"

" Sorry?" She faked dumb even worse than out right lying.

" Why are acting weird?" the frustration inside him bled off into his speech, irreversibly impatient.

" How am I acting weird?" Elizabeth shrugged.

" You just are" He came closer. " What is it?"

She backed away almost immediately following his step. " I'm making breakfast. Jeez. And people say my sister's dramatic."

" Last night you were a mess." He declared, unable to sustain his candor with her. " Now you're acting like a goddamn pod person. Something's up. What?"

Her back stiffened, but she sighed, decidedly." Last night was last night."

" And?" he pushed.

" And nothing. Let's just forget it." Her last words strangling from repression.

" You don't forget."

She placed the pan down, lowering the heat button to medium before she faced him." I'm turning over a new leaf. Call it a rebirth, starting over, whatever. I'm doing what you want so why can't you just be happy and shutup about it."

The artificial calm of her ludicrous reasoning scared the absolute shit out of him.

" Doing what I want?" he growled, as he leaned in.

" Yes, yes, doing what you want Jason." Her hand slapped down on the ledge of the stove.

" Playing the good little hostage. I remember my role very clearly. I'm not that much of mess like you think. I know my part, I'm playing it. I don't want to make anymore waves between us. Like you said we're going to be here for a while and my nerves are frayed enough from everything that has happened. I'd rather the rest of my stay here be smooth. If that's okay with you."

He wasn't buying it. " Try being honest."

Jerking back, her nostrils flared out insultingly. " I am being honest. What else do you want from me?"

" I want you to …"

" To what?" she demanded, this time unconsciously stepping forward herself.

" I don't know, but this isn't it. You don't have to pretend with me."

" Please stop." She held her hand up in between their bodies. " Not only are you embarrassing me, you're embarrassing yourself.

His eyes darkened, his brows lowering defensively," What's that supposed to mean?"

" We went through this already last night. I think you made yourself perfectly clear. So stop acting." She went to turn and focus on her cooking, but Jason's hand snaked around her wrist, putting her back in place.

" I don't act. Got that. Besides, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

Her eyes closed. " I don't like that word."

" Too bad." He shot back, not falling for her petty attempts at diversion. " Now what do you mean stop acting?"

" Stop pretending Jason." She pulled at his hold but it was useless. " Stop pretending to care. It's ridiculous and not to mention insulting. I know where you stand. I get it now. Crystal clear. This whole interested/ caring routine isn't necessary."

He stepped closer, close enough that the tip of his toe was touching hers. " You think I'm pretending to care for you?"

He did not sound pleased. In fact his voice ringed in offense. Her anger sparked from some leftover strength inside her. " You said last night-"

" Fuck what I said last night-"

" Jason," she warned.

" Answer the question," he whispered commandingly." Do you really think I don't care?"

She didn't hesitate. " Yes, I really think you don't," her voice lifting than falling as she noticed his guarded expression was slipping.

His lips relaxed, his bottom lip falling ever so slightly to reveal a certain shock his face was just now enveloping. His eyes were like two giant saucers of a stormy sky. Open and hauntingly overbearing.

Her throat felt dry and suddenly she was almost too aware of the warm skin of his fingers wrapped around her. Goosebumps ringed around his hold.

" Jason," Her shoulder's lifted, her heart rattling in her chest. There was no mistaking the palpable emotion eating away at him. " You don't Jason. You don't." her voice gave in, drowning in the sinking sensation of her heart, drumming on an audible ache. " Right?"

His body drifted nearer, diminishing the distance between them to a sliver of a thread. His stare heated, burning her up in slow degrees, as the pad of his thumb fell and swished against the white unexposed surface of her inner wrist.

He licked his lips, the battle of wills warring to life inside his eyes. His thumb pressed deeply into her pale baby soft flesh, his eyes following her small nervous movements and growing more aggressively pleased with each involuntarily shake her body made.

" Elizabeth," he gravely begged, unsure of what he, himself, was doing as his other hand came up to her face.

" Jason," she breathed his name in a warning, wanting him to stop and pleading for him to touch her.

She pulled at his hold lamely, twisting her hand so that her palm was facing the ceiling.

" Don't." His shadowy breathless whisper cautioned.

" Don't what?" Her words incoherently foggy. " Jason."

There was a knock then a noise that sounded like keys jingling, but neither of them had the strength to look away from each other with the gravitational intensity that climbed between their bodies and pulsed in their exchange of stares.

The lack of control triggered Elizabeth's defensives and she tried to back away, but Jason was not having it.

" We should get that," she whispered weakly.

" We're not done here."

Then the door, which must have been stuck, gave in and Max stumbled in hallway. They both continued to ignore the disruption, even when the sound of whistling coupled with the crunching of paper bags was heard. Even when they knew he was walking to where the kitchen was.

He made his way to the small entrance of the kitchen as if he had walked in their hundred times before and stopped, swinging his merry eyes between the two of them. A bashful blush broke across his high cheekbones at the apparently tense moment and he shrugged his big oaf shoulders before stuttering out meekly, " Did I interrupt something?"


	25. Chapter 25

_The greatest weakness of all is the great fear of appearing weak. Jacques Benigne Bossuel _

Max was officially a dead man.

There was no mistaking the lethal gleam in Jason's eyes when he shot the man a murderous look before returning his attention back to the very agitated woman he still firmly had grasped in his clutch.

" Um, I can, um, come back." Max rambled nervously. " If you ah, want me to."

Neither Jason nor Elizabeth acknowledged that they had heard him.

Max's feet were moving backward and he bumped into the hallway wall before staggering in the direction of the front door. " I'll just get her, uh, stuff then."

" Do that." Jason murmured, his eyes seemed to be stuck in place, on the girl Elizabeth. They never left hers, never wandered an inch off her face. Max couldn't decipher whether his boss was angry with her or not, but judging by the extreme effort for control that was cutting across the man's face, something was definitely up.

The bodyguard's short interruption spurred Elizabeth's actions, breaking the spell Jason had had over her. She didn't fight, knowing it was useless against his massive strength, but there were other fears besides Jason's physical closeness that scared her.

" Talk to me."

And that was it.

The way he could read her. It was like he could sense her vulnerability, sniff her out, and know which button to push to crack the impenetrable wall she had taken years to forge.

When she was fighting him, the pull to give in to him was easier to ignore. She could argue back and somewhere between their bickering and anger her feelings would be forgotten. But when his voice got all soft and warm, like now, like a cloak of heat was being laid over her body, she couldn't think clearly, couldn't respond the way she wanted to.

Ten seconds ago he looked like he wanted to bite her head off. Now he was sucking all her strength away with just one melting plea.

" Why is he here?" She tugged at his hold and was startled when he released her, making her trip a step back.

Using her clumsiness to her advantage, Elizabeth slid further away, leaning her hip onto the stove and failing at her attempt at casualty. She switched the stove off, her eggs already rubbery and ruined for her taste.

Jason couldn't help but watch her under hooded eyes, licking his lips, swallowing, wondering what she was thinking. She had that closed off look again in her eyes. He had lost whatever small gain he had made with her.

Fuckin Max.

Part of him was thankful for the interruption. Jason didn't doubt that if Max hadn't bulldozed in the house in that very second he would have definitely kissed her, would still be kissing her now.

He hadn't planned on kissing her, it wasn't even something he let himself dwell on for too long considering the circumstances between them. But he would have and that scared him more than anything. The knowledge that that feeling, that urge, could jump on him without warning, gave the temptation to take her a strength incomparable. Like that sneaky overpowering under toe he always seemed to experience around her.

He knew his actions were unacceptable. He wouldn't deny how irresponsible he was being. This wasn't like him. He was stronger than this. He wasn't trying to tease himself, test how strong his will was. Jason wasn't there to confuse her or himself for that matter. He really was curious of why she became a mute sometimes, why she closed herself off from the rest of the world, and why, even though he knew the truth, she didn't trust him.

For some ungodly reason, he had to hear the words from her mouth. Maybe if he did he would be set free from this caging attraction that seemed to deepen and grow with each passing minute. If he could hear how much he disgusted her, how someone like him made her pristine skin crawl, maybe this imprisonment he was in would finally end.

The single conclusive thought jump started his mouth.

" Because I asked him. Don't change the subject."

Dumping the pan in the sink, Elizabeth ran it under the hot water. She shrugged her shoulders, her words occupied by her present actions. " I'm not."

" Don't lie."

Slicing the knob down, she grabbed the towel next to the sink and rigorously began washing her hands. " Lying is one of your specialties. Don't stand there and talk to me about it."

Unhindered by the words that were clearly delivered to wound, Jason continued. " Keeping things secret is part of my job. Lying to yourself." He waited until she looked up, made some sort of eye contact with him. "What you're doing right now is different. You're only hurting yourself."

" Thanks," she replied in a dry tone that reeked contradictory to her words. " Buts that's a risk I'll take if my only option is you."

Jason was never a man who liked to mince words so he went straight for his own jugular. " You don't trust me."

" No I don't." There was no mistaking the flurry of emotion that cascaded underneath her affirming statement.

" Fair enough." His voice echoed hollow between them. " I'm sorry. For the pain I caused you."

Ignoring the spark of an ache she thought she saw flash in him, she decided to try her odds. " Does that mean I can go home now? I miss my family."

Jason nodded, his tone cautious and quiet. " As soon as it can be arranged, you'll be free of this…of me."

" Okay." She answered absently, refusing to make eye contact even though his body and hard glare was demanding her attention.

" Good."

His sullen face transported to her, coursing through the air around her like a tangible wave. " I think I'm going to get some sleep."

Jason wavered a beat than spoke. " Wait."

Max entered again, two suitcases in either hand, two small bags crammed under his arms. He didn't stop for a detour of the kitchen again. Elizabeth wasn't sure where he went but he never returned.

" I'm leaving."

She paused, squinting her eyes at his announcement." Leaving."

" Yeah," he scratched at the middle of his chest, leaving a red mark. " I have to make an appearance. With Sonny."

She hadn't realized he was shirtless till that moment. Remembering his gunshot wound her eyes darted to his side. " Oh."

He followed her gaze. " Shouldn't be more than a few days."

Her stare immediately jumped to his face, her skin blazing hot. " So, I'll be here with…"

" Max." He supplied unthinkingly. "He's a nice guy. He'll take care of you."

" What if something goes wrong."

The fear in her voice wrapped around him, made him want to physically reassure her, whatever way possible to end the timidity that always crept it's way inside her. But instead he stepped closer and did what little he could to subside her worry.

" It wont. Trust m-" He sighed, closing his eyes and fisting his hand at his side. " I know you don't trust me, but I'm trying to take care of you. I'll make this right."

" Okay." She wiped her hands down her jeans. " Is that it?"

" No." He came forward, cornering her between the sink and the stove. " Listen to what Max says. He reports back to me so if you get out of hand-"

Her chin rose, along with the temperature in her face. " I get it."

He had triggered her temper, inadvertently. The fact both bothered and aroused him more than he was willing to admit. " If you do need anything…"

" I can't take care of myself." She cut through.

" I know you can, but that's not the point." He pinned her with hard appraising glare. "Elizabeth."

" I will." She vowed, her voice rising. When he didn't appear pacified, she gathered all the leftover strength she had and reciprocated his look. " I promise."

He abandoned eye contact first this time, bowing his head to the side, seemingly satisfied. " Okay."

He was walking away, his shoulders slightly slumped and before she could restrain herself she was calling out his name.

" Jason?" she said on a whispery gasp.

He didn't turn but he stopped. " Yeah."

" Are you…" She searched for words that her brain was in short supply of at the moment. " Does your side still hurt?"

He slid her a sideways glance, his reaction impervious as he scrutinized her. " No," he finally replied on a slight smile. When his eyes met hers again they were soft but stern in their icy blue warning. " Be careful."

The small rise of panic that entered from his subtle cautioning was not for herself, but for him. " You too."

The realization alone frightened her beyond explanation, but there was nothing she could do. She was helpless, out of her league, and nothing she was doing or saying made any sense.

She was watching Jason leave the room, knowing she wasn't going to see him and she waited for the elation, for the joy to overcome her. But when all she experienced was an empty sad feeling in the pit of her stomach, she decided it was time to stop. Stop thinking, stop pretending to figure out what was going on in her wacky brain. These circumstances didn't define who she was or what she felt. She just had to bide her time, get through this and then everything would go back to normal. The way it should be.

Elizabeth found the soaking pan in the drain board and flipped it between her hands. Eggs were a good start.

8

She woke up hours later. The darkness of the night eerie, like she was waking up in a black hole.

Strange surroundings were frightening enough, but in the dark, fears amplified into nightmarish possibilities when there was nothing to rely on, no familiarity, no one but yourself. Considering her unique situation, the room, the silence, the feel of her bare feet against the cold tile of the small foreign hallway, Elizabeth was surprised she hadn't had a heart attack by now.

There was little she could say or do that could comfort her. In fact the very conditions she lived in propelled her terror into overtime.

The rest of the house was dark, the moon casting slit shadows on the soft gray living room rug. She found herself walking to the back of the room, staring out at the large overwhelming windows, taking in the beauty of the woodsy ambiance in nightfall.

The view was spectacular and seemed to calm her split nerves, soothing the ascending panic that tended to come and go on its' own accord.

Her attic window was like a mouse hole compared this scenic dreamy woodland fairytale. There was a small drift of fog peeking between the trees. The sprinkle of stars in the sky splayed before her like glittering diamonds. The trees were mere shadows, leafy shapes and trunks, the only visible parts in the darkness.

All that was left to finish off the perfect picture was some enchanted fairy godmother riding on her white magical carriage with the sheer purpose to come and save her. Take her with her, take her away from this hell and the tricks her feelings were trying to play on her.

" You need anything?"

She was surprised she didn't jump. After all she had forgotten he was going to be her replacement babysitter. " No. No thanks." She hurried her reply.

" Well" he shrugged, sheepishly. "I'll be in Jason's room over there if you do."

She frowned at him." Jason left."

" Uh yeah. He went into say goodbye but you were already asleep."

The news shouldn't have been a shock, but she reacted inside like it was one. She should be happy he was gone, but she wasn't. She should be mad he was looking in on her, but she felt anything but mad. But all she could muster up to say was, " Oh."

" Don't worry." He caught her eye, smiling gently at her as if he was waiting for her to fall to pieces in front of him. " He'll be back soon.

She shook him off, her attention back on the dark world outside. " It doesn't matter."

" Okay…well…"

"I'm going for a walk," she announced with a determined air.

He stepped a bit towards her, not sure he had heard her correctly. He stumbled on the small step between the two rooms. " Not a good idea Miss Elizabeth."

Her brow corked up, but the rest of her remained in place. " Miss?"

Max's throat clearing resonated like a cranky bear being pulled out of hibernation. When he finally finished he was red from exertion. " Jason told me to be respectful." He hesitated, " Ma'am?"

She smiled despite herself. " Elizabeth's fine."

" Either way," The hard edge of his tone was unavoidably clear, " I don't think it's a good idea."

" No offense but I didn't ask for your opinion," She matched his tone, the antsy claustrophobic pressing setting off her irritability faster than her head was spinning. " I'm taking a walk."

As she walked past the large brick fireplace in the middle of the room, she noticed several books piled together. Catching their titles as she passed she realized they were biographies on some of her favorite artist and writers. Descartes, Michangelo, Poe and Hemingway.

" What's this?"

Max came to stand by her. " It was in the van." He sounded as clueless as she felt. When she looked up to him for an answer he offered her a shrug and a polite apologetic grin.

"He forgot to give it to you before he left. That's all I -"

Her mouth opened for several seconds before she actually said anything." How did he know-"

" I don't know." Max admitted genuinely. " Do you like them?"

" Yeah," she shook her head, wiping the emotion off her face in one sniffle and swipe of her hand across her cheek. "Yeah they're fine."

She settled the book back to where it was, laying it on top of the rest, and backing away from the stack like they were about to eat her alive. She hurried even faster towards the door. " I gotta go." And she was out of the house before Max could say otherwise. He stood there, feeling as if he had missed a big something. Man, he really hated having to play catch up. He was going to kill Jason.

8

The penthouse was barely lit when Jason entered. There were a few candles, one on the ornate dinning room table, another on his desk, and one near the dwindling fire that appeared ready to die out any second.

Jason took in the dreary living room, stepping in, and closing the door behind him. When he began to proceed further into the room, he heard something crunch underneath his boots. He couldn't make out what it was but it looked like the glass vase that used to be perfectly placed on the fireplace mantle. The decorative piece was one of Sonny's favorite small possessions, not to mention one of his more high priced pieces.

Moving tentatively deeper into the room, the dim lighting finally gave him some use. His eyes scanned the couch, found Sonny slumped over, partially sitting, partially lying down.

Jason sighed into the darkness.

Ritchie had said he had been like this for the past few days. He had presumed that when he came back it would stop, just like it always did, but it didn't. Sonny was worse than ever. Volatile, self destructive, Ritchie said he had been flying off the handle more than usual.

Jason could guess why.

Throwing his jacket on to the desk behind him, Jason stood there, taking in the not so unfamiliar setting and shook his head wearily.

He was so fucking beat right now. All he wanted to do was check in, get a good eight hours of sleep if his body would let him, and get so normalcy back into his life. Lift some boxes, make some stops for Sonny, get drunk, get laid, anything to make him feel like before.

He made his way over to the wall, flipped the switch on. The stark arrival of light made his eyes squint as they traveled back to the couch and waited. He watched, waiting, knowing any second his boss would start murmuring curses for he was being forced to join the living.

Jason saw his body stir for a few minutes before he slowly dragged his body up from its sleeping position. Rubbing his eyes, Sonny yawned, arching his back which had to hurt from the awkward sleeping position he had been in. It took several more seconds before he looked lucid enough to recognize his surrounding, to even realize Jason was there.

Ritchie was right. He looked horrible. Worse than any other time before. His eyes were drooped, three layers of lines bagged with tiredness. His hair was scruffy and wild, on his face, his hair. His skin was pale and off colored like he hadn't seen sunlight in weeks. He looked like a diseased man on the verge of meeting death.

" Hey man." Sonny's unused rough voice wiped Jason's morbid observations away.

Sonny liked to do this. Sometimes weeks, months, would go by and he would okay. No outbursts, no severe mood swings, but then Jason would leave or go on a job, take some time off, and Sonny would lose it. Trash his place, cut himself when it got really bad. He wouldn't clean, eat, nothing that involved participating in the daily activities of real life.

His behavior freaked the rest of the men out. Jason, for some reason, was the only one who could calm him down, get him to act like his old charming self. Jason really didn't do much. Listen, clean up, fix him something to eat and then after a few hours Sonny would be himself again. Jason wasn't sure what brought him back. He was just glad he was Sonny again, ready to go to work and be the ruthless cunning business man Jason had known him as for years.

Forcing his feet to walk toward the older man, Jason gave him a one second tight smile.

" Hey."

"What took you so long man. I know you like to get some air, but I've been dying here." Sonny rubbed the tip of his nose, leaning back into the seat, and taking a greedy breath like it had been his first in days.

" I had things I needed to do." Jason gave him a noncommittal answer, knowing Sonny wasn't really searching for specifics.

Sonny eyed the nearly dead fire, shaking his head. " You alright. I mean after everything…"

He wasn't himself yet. Jason could tell. The man sounded like he was a million miles away, so far gone from where he was. " Part of the job," he whispered, preoccupied with the strange fogginess around Sonny that usually began lifting the minute they started conversing.

" Part of the job," he mimicked, " Stop it, you know that's bullshit."

Jason tensed.

" I know you man. I know you better than you know yourself. You don't like to feel because it complicates things."

Jason shrugged. " Yeah, so."

" But its not that you can't feel," he waved his hand in the air, brushing the hair from his eyes, "you're just better at controlling your emotions than everybody else. You got a heart. I saw it."

Jason continued staring into the fireplace, a spark of a flame holding his sole attention.

Sonny was watching him, digging past his friend's trademark stone mask. " Admit it. That girl got to you."

Exasperated, Jason eyed him. " Sonny."

" Come on. I've never seen that before. I mean you're fucking heartless bastard most of the time. You treat woman like shit worse than me. You never commit to anything or anyone. You're probably the most selfish guy in the world besides for myself."

" Maybe." Jason admitted in a hushed voice.

" Maybe he says." Sonny grumbled, chuckling under his breath. " Did you fuck her?"

Unresponsive as he knew he would be, Sonny smiled slyly in his friend's direction, noting how the edges of his features hardened. " You did, you dog. You fucked her. Oh man. I mean, I knew you were hard up and all, but she's a freakin kid. You could have at least waited till you got home. I'm sure that chick at O'Malleys would have screwed your fucking brains out, no problem."

He was testing him. Jason didn't have to have a goddamn degree to see it.

When it came to matters of the heart, Sonny was downright psychologically crafty. Testing, always testing. He knew the way to a man's motives was through his mind. How he thought, spoke, approached every subject, these subtleties were what told a person everything they needed to know about the other. He paid more attention than people gave him credit for and that was always their first mistake with Sonny. Never underestimate him, no matter what condition he was in. The wheels inside his head were always turning. Jason bet even in sleep.

Sonny always said if you knew where a man's heart lied, you knew where his loyalties lied as well.

Jason brushed off his jeans, hoping the subject of Elizabeth was closed once and for all. " Let me make get you something to eat."

Head falling back onto the couch, Sonny sighed harshly. " Man, listen, you can talk to me."

Jason was heading toward the kitchen." Go take a shower."

It took a couple of seconds but Sonny got up, stretching like he had been in the sitting position ever since he left. " You're back for good right."

Pausing in the threshold of the two rooms Jason turned. " No," he said in a matter of fact way.

Sonny's lethargic manner quickly disintegrated." What you mean no? I need you."

" I'm taking off for a while. Not too long."

" Jason," He spit his name out like a curse. " I need you."

Ignoring his boss's usual rise of anger, Jason returned his angry words with his own placated unperturbed ones. " It's not for good. Just for a few weeks."

" I don't like it." He bluntly responded, walking around the couch. " Do the guys know about this?"

" They have nothing to do with this."

" Ritchie!" Sonny bellowed. Ritchie was making his in the room before the last syllable of his name was out.

" Yeah boss," he skittered an anxious look between the two men.

" Did you know about this? About Jason leaving?" he interrogated mercilessly, not wasting a second to jump down the man's throat.

Jason came between the two, his back to Ritchie. " Ritchie's got nothing to do with this."

" Answer the question!" Sonny's black glare was centered on the meager bodyguard, stripping away his useless defenses. " Did you know-"

" No Sir. Not at all," the body guard voice cracked in between his explanation. " Jason and I don't talk about things that are none of my business."

" Is that right?" Sonny moved closer.

" Sonny." Jason placed a hand on his shoulder when he saw Sonny step closer. " Leave him alone."

Sonny's hands came up, his mood shifting again, his face lighting up as if he was being caught off guard. " You always were a sucker for a weakling."

Jason didn't return his sentiment, turning his head halfway. " Go Ritchie."

Ritchie left without another word. Jason and Sonny continued to stare at one another, neither of them backing down.

The door clicked and Jason didn't waste time hedging around Sonny's unpredictable mood." What's wrong with you?"

Sonny didn't conceal the suspiciousness that sneaked up in his own question. " I could ask you the same. When did you become Ritchie's big defender?"

Jason didn't like his loyalty being questioned from anyone, but he also had to consider the situation. When Sonny acted like this anything, including his loyalty was up for question. " He didn't do anything."

Sonny scoffed, snickering in a way that made his nostrils curl. " Ritchie's a little bitch. I was just playing around."

Staring the man down, Jason spoke without forethought." Just leave it be."

Sonny backed away, nearing the stairs that led to his room. He pushed out a large swoosh of breath, shrugging defeatingly. " Whatever. I'm going to shower."

Nodding, Jason continued to watch him.

" Make me something, okay?"

" Yeah."

Jason found his way to the kitchen just as Sonny paused in the middle of the grand staircase. He eyed the kitchen entrance then the door of penthouse, the wheels in his head, turning anew for the first time in a few days. Yep, something was up. Something was definitely up.


	26. Chapter 26

_Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go."_

Max was really bad at hiding.

She guessed he'd been following her for at least a good half a mile.

She didn't turn though. For some reason the thought of embarrassing him didn't sit well with her, no matter who he was and why he was hired to watch her. The last few days must have felt like hell to him and her guilt kicked in just in time with her thoughts.

He must really be hating on Jason right about now. After all, who'd want to babysit a boring lump like her.

It's not like her time here was a picnic either. The hours, the days, they were vacant, in meaning, in action; all Elizabeth could do to _not_ make herself crazy was walk. There was no place to escape like at home in her attic. Her room, here, in Maine, was too sterile, too abnormal. There was no comfort in a place that reminded her minute after minute, continuously like a reel, of her very real predicament.

She was trapped.

It had always been her greatest fear. To be buried so far deep into something that there was no way out, no sign of a new beginning. Her life had always been this great big nothing. She never did anything, never went anywhere, never risked anything. She used to weigh that as one of the more sunny attributes of her life. Yes, maybe she was miserable as ever, but at least she was sure of the life she had built around her. There was a clear view of the road ahead and she had balanced the pros and cons long before her destination was in sight.

Jason had said in the attic that she played life, her life, safe. He barely knew her and yet he had been audacious enough to declare without doubt that she was being a coward.

It wasn't until now that she realized he was dead on right.

Ever since he blasted her with his opinion, the nagging sensation in her heart wouldn't subside. It was relentless, tugging at her like her own personal Jimney Cricket.

He had no idea, who she was, what went on inside her. He had balls to come out and tell her how to live, stop running, take a risk. Maybe it was easy for him to fly off buildings and not think about the consequences. Maybe he could use his gun on someone, go play a game of pool before mixing up with hoodlums under the streetlights of New York City, but she couldn't. She wasn't made from the same kind of animal he was.

Her heart was easily broken. No one ever quite got that.

Elizabeth always felt too much, too deeply. When she gave herself to someone, she gave all of her, her heart theirs' for the taking, no questions asked. That's why she had to protect herself from hers. She was her own worst enemy. She knew if she did open up her heart there was no turning back.

That was the thing. Elizabeth was capable of love just like anyone was. She might not be able to show it as easily as most but she could. Sometimes the urge was so strong she didn't think she could hold it in sometimes. She just didn't want to waste it on the wrong person.

It never made sense to her how people gave their love away so freely. It boggled her how carefree people were concerning matters of the heart.

Reality was ironic that was for sure. When she finally decided to take that plunge, give her heart away, take the grand leap of faith into the unknown enigmatic emotion of love, she had royally screwed herself over.

The one person who she had wanted, who had practically dared her to stop running from life in the opposite direction of everyone else, had not only turned her down, but had lied to her. He never wanted her, not the way she had wanted him. He never cared or thought about her. It was all a very convincing act. He had warned her not to trust him and she argued against her sensibility and did the exact opposite.

Which was completely unlike her. That is what maddened her most. She never acted like she expected herself to around him. She was normally quiet; some people, like her parents, would even go as far as to say she was docile. They meant it as an insult but she took the verbal jab as a compliment compared to the hyenas her family could be sometimes, minus her father and Tommy.

But the point was how was she supposed to trust Jason when she couldn't trust herself around him? Why did he, out of all the people she had met and known in her life, get to her? It certainly wasn't from trying. He never put any effort into discovering who she really was. He never appeared interested in any book or subject that she did. Did he? And when he had, was it real? Or was it just part of his master plan to get to her family?

God, the truth, the lies, they were all so mixed together, her head was spinning. If she really wanted to come clean and brush away the clutter, actually be honest, the truth was- she wanted to trust Jason. Even after all he bad done to her, she wanted so badly it scared her. The pull to trust him was so strong; it was like a physical force, drawing all her strengths, her weakness, her wants, desires, towards him like a tornado wind scooping her up as if she were made of tissue paper.

Even after his blatant deception with her, after knowing why he had come to her house, the pull hadn't disappeared. She didn't understand any of it; how she could feel any sort of connection to the man responsible for her family's separation and danger.

When they were alone it was the worst. The gravitational energy between them was so fierce, it scared and excited her. Although she'd never admit to it out loud. She just wanted to be done with this insaneness going on inside her. He was a killer, she was his captive. He saw her as nothing else but a means to an end. She saw him as a ….as….

A blush scorched across her face despite the cool approaching autumn weather. She kicked at the leaves underneath her black carpenter boots. Using the tip of her shoe she made circles in the muddy dirt as she sat on the flat rock outside the opening of the little woods.

She heard the crunch of leaves closer. Leaning forward, Elizabeth contemplated whether to acknowledge the guard's presence or not. She was planning on leaving him to his dignity. He was, after all, supposed to be trained in stealth and such, but when his clumsiness became apparently unignorable, a clumsiness bested only by her own, Elizabeth decided the time for silence was over.

In the past three days she had talked to him a whopping three times.

Good Morning, Good Night, I'm fine, those were the routine responses that basically summed up her daily conversings with him.

She wasn't being remote on purpose. She just had nothing to say and she was pretty positive he didn't care. In fact he probably enjoyed the fact that she was a ghost to him. He probably preferred it that way.

He coughed. The small bark sounded off over her left shoulder. She decided to utilize her vacationed voice box if it was still there.

" Max, you can come out of hiding," she trailed, peering over her left shoulder, as she pressed her chin onto the edge of the bone. " If you want."

The shuffling of feet reached her hearing before his jittery rumble of a voice greeted her.

" Sorry ma'am, I mean Elizabeth. Just doing my job."

" I understand." She said simply, her eyes fully on the sky ahead.

" Yeah, well," Max scratched at the back of his head, " Jason told me to watch over you. He'd have my head if anything happened to you."

She knew it was childish, but rolling her eyes came so automatically at his words, she hadn't realized she had done it until it was over. " Because I'm his leverage. I know."

Max stayed silent at her side.

His muteness was her answer. She scrambled to change the subject. " It's beautiful out here. I never thought Maine would be so gorgeous."

Max exhaled a snort in agreement. " You should see it in the spring. The grass here is greener than any other place in this country."

" You've been here before?"

" Yeah, I mean Jason takes me and some of the guys he trusts. This is his place. Among others." His tenor translated reluctance. Elizabeth was sketchy about whether it was because of the subject matter or because of Jason.

" That must be nice," she smiled, tilting her head toward him, but not giving him a direct look. " I mean being able to go anywhere you want. I always wanted to do that. To have different places to visit, to make a home in more than just one place."

" Why?"

Biting her bottom lip, her blue eyes darkened in thought. " I dunno. I guess because I've never really been anywhere. Me and my family went on vacation one time and we didn't even leave the state," she laughed at the ridiculousness of that sad fact.

" There are so many beautiful places out there, ya know. So much to learn. I've spent so much time reading about other countries, their history, I want to go there and experience it. Finally." She shrugged, suddenly remembering herself. " Hopefully, someday my wish will come true. As lame as that sounds."

" It doesn't sound lame." Max's sincerity shined through, compelled to encourage her bashful admission. " It sounds like a great life. Kinda like…"

" Jason's," she finished, gulping when she heard her voice say his name out loud.

" Yeah," he nodded, hesitant to speak, but when all Elizabeth did was smile encouragingly, his mind was already made up. " Jason basically comes and goes as he pleases. When the job doesn't need him, he's always off somewhere. He doesn't like to stay in one place too long."

" Why?" she heard herself say. Max shot her a curious look and she immediately became conscious of the fact that she was prying. " Sorry, I didn't mean…"

" No, no. It's okay. Jason's personal life is his. You should ask him."

" No thanks. I'm not into having my head bit off."

He laughed, a full laugh that started and erupted straight from deep in his chest. " He's a private guy. Always has been, but he'd tell you if you asked."

" I'd feel like I'd bother him. I mean," she fumbled, licking her bottom lip before gnawing on the flesh till it was red. " I know I do. Besides it really doesn't matter. I mean, I was just curious."

She went to stand up and leave. Max stood up with her. " Listen, I didn't…I wasn't trying to…Jason likes you, Elizabeth. He wouldn't have done what he did, if he didn't."

She didn't like the way he was looking at her, like he could see through her.

" Trying to kill my parents, scaring the life out of me and the people I love…imagine the damage if he hated me." Tears sprung up, gathering in the corner of her eyes. " Jason is a man who confuses me. Sometimes my inquisitive nature gets the best of me because I'm…I'm stupidly curious, I like to figure things out, but I don't care. I don't. Jason can be Jason. He can be whoever the hell he wants to and do whatever he wants….I just…it doesn't matter."

" Elizabeth?" He spoke, his worry showing. Obviously, he'd never seen a woman having a mini meltdown before. " Are you-"

" I'm fine." She answered, exerted and feeling like an absolute ass. " I'm sorry."

" Don't be." Max couldn't help but smile empathetically at the young woman standing in front of him. She was doing her best to act unruffled but she was failing. " I'm not going to stand here and defend Jason to you. If I was in your shoes, I'd probably hate the man just as much as you seem to. But whether you believe me or not, Jason's a good guy. He's loyal and smart, and he cares…he cares deeper than most people realize."

Balking a bit, Max leveled Elizabeth with a sturdy glare not bothering to think through whether what he was about to say was appropriate or not. " Jason and Sonny are best friends. They're like brothers. Sonny saved Jason from his life on the streets. He was living in and out of alley ways, he robbed to survive. The kid had nothing, and believe me, I know because I was right there with him. He thinks he owes Sonny his life. There's nothing Jason wouldn't do for that man."

He waited for her to react, to stop his explanation, but she continued to stare, completely fixed on what he was saying. " Sonny ordered the death of your father, the death of your whole family, but Jason went against his orders. I don't know if you get what that means, but when I say he went against Sonny, for you, that means something, Elizabeth. Like I said, I understand why you hate the man, but you should also know the other side of things. Jason defied his best friend because of you… and if you knew Jason at all, you would understand how much that says about the situation. How much that says about how he feels about you. Even if both of you are too stubborn to realize it yet.

" I don't ….Max, I'm not sure-"

Max waved a hand in the air. " We'd better get inside. It's getting cold out." He smiled down at her, apologetically, a regretful look passing his face and it became obvious to both of them that he had said too much. He turned so briskly, the conversation seemed to clamp shut on her. Elizabeth thought she'd fall over from chasing to catch up with his words and the impact of what they fully meant.

Her eyes followed him, but her mind was elsewhere. When she finally refocused on Max and he was no longer just a big blurry dot she recognized that he was standing there, waiting for her. It took her a good few seconds for her feet to detach themselves from the ground under her. She bolted, embarrassed by her sluggishness as she scampered towards him, but her mind was still very much stuck on their conversation. Even as the night went on, Max's words never fully left her thoughts. Especially his last words.

_How much that says about how he feels about you. Even if both of you are too stubborn to realize it yet. _

8

" Come on," Her lips slid up the side of his throat. They were smooth and cool, they'd be very workable under his mouth. But to her disadvantage, the overwhelming smell of beer and cigarettes permeated the air that followed the young waitress, ruining her suggestive intent on him.

"Where's my beer." He spoke into the flaming crown of her hair.

The minute he had walked in the back entrance she took no time to corner him. He didn't need a guess to figure out why.

She was in the mood. Her breath rattled, dipping and quivering against his skin. Her zealousness with him was distracting, especially in the way she practically pawed at him in the dark corner of the waiting room. Her body yawned up against his, stretching like a cat begging to be pet.

He should have stopped her the minute her eyes landed on his. But he was so fucked up inside, he didn't want to. He didn't want to when the thought of having his way with her right there, in the corner of a public bar, where everyone would be, but no one would bother to look, was so goddamn enticing.

Any other day, he would have fucked her by now. Maybe they'd be on their second round. Although, judging from his past observations of her, two would be his fill with her. She was the type who was all bravado and no action to back it up. She probably faked half her orgasms and exaggerated the real ones.

Jason wasn't into dramatics. Besides, he'd never let her get away with faking anything. That was the challenge right there. A challenge he'd normally be salivating to accept.

" Jamie," he whispered, his tone falling short of sensitive. " I don't have time for this.

" Another chick?" She kissed below his adam's apple. " Come on Jason. I know you want me."

When all he did was sigh, her fingers tip toed lower, cupping the front of his jeans and answering her question. " You've always wanted me." She kissed the tip of his chin as he removed her hand from its place, shooting her a warning look she didn't receive.

He skirted his head to the side when she tried to kiss his chin again. He was losing patience, but the woman pressed up against his body seemed oblivious to his present demeanor. Little did she know or care that his short temper had nothing to do with her. Nothing to do with her at all.

" Stop." He pulled away, feeling the loss of her warm body immediately. Clipping his words he planted a sharp look down at her, leaning his head forward to make sure she understood. " I'm not in the mood."

" That's what your mouth says," she purred, leaning her stomach against his clenched one, " but that's not what your-"

" Jamie." He jerked her hand away from the place it was leading to. " I mean it. I don't have time for this bullshit."

Finally getting the picture that he wasn't playing with her, Jamie pulled her hand from his grasp and he let go thankfully. " You're a fucking cock tease Morgan. You know that."

She looked as frustrated as he felt. " Does that mean I'm not going to get my beer."

" Fuck you." She made her way to the back entrance that led to the main room at O'Malleys.

" You think your some goddamn prize, think again. You act like a fucking primadonna when you come around me, but I could have any man I want, you know that? And here you are thinking you're better than everyone here. You're just trash in a nice package. Remember that," she spit, grabbing a cigarette from her jeans and placing it between her lips.

His left brow flexed up. " You finished?"

" Screw you." She flipped her lighter up.

"You already said that," he retorted, leaning against the wall behind him. " I want a Corona."

" I'm on break. Ask another waitress."

" You're the only one here." His grin was lopsided. " Besides, I like the way you bring me my beer."

She huffed out a stream of smoke from her nostrils, flicking the end of her cigarette. Small ashes drifted to the floor, Jason watched them as she spoke. " You're one confused mother fucker, you know that. You flirt with me, you act like you want me." She stepped closer, " In fact, I know that you want me, but something's stopping you." Her eyes darted in between in his, scoping for his reaction, but there was none. " Or someone."

Using the wall, he pushed his body forward and was over her before he could account for the rashness of his behavior. " I said I wanted a beer. You can't oblige me, find someone who can. Otherwise mind your own fucking business."

Faltering at hiding the fear that entered her face, Jamie placed a good foot between them, eyeing the crowd as if he would jump her. She tossed the half-smoked cig on the floor, mashing it with her open toed stiletto heel. " Aw, what. Someone's a little too sensitive for their own good. Get in my face again and I'll have you thrown out."

Jason just stared at her.

" You hear me? You don't fucking talk to me that way. You piece of shit." Her voice wavered as he moved closer. She turned, was about to call for the bouncer when she realized he wasn't moving in her direction. He walked by her, not sparing her a second glance when he spotted his company and headed towards the door.

Jamie grabbed another cigarette and spat out another string of four letter curses as she reached for her lighter again. " Fucking bastard." She looked back in his direction, grinning sulkily to herself. " Too bad he's so fucking hot."

8

" How was Sonny today?"

Ritchie faked a thoughtless shrug, the corners of his mouth pinching down. " Better. I guess." He eyed the couple entering the bar. " Where were you?"

" Out. Cleaning things up before I leave."

Ritchie handed the man next to him an uninhibited glare. " Man, I don't like this. This is getting so dangerou."

Jason didn't like the panic that set off his words. Panic made me people mess up, become desperate and do things they wouldn't normally. " You need to calm down. The heats already off us."

" Sonny is a very suspicious man, Jason. The heats never going to be off. Not today, not ever. Have you forgotten, this man can fucking sniff out a lie. I don't like this."

" Hey." The one word silenced Ritchie in his place. " You trust me?"

" Yeah man, that's got nothing to do with this. It's Sonny I don't trust," Ritchie clarified, his dark eyes bulging underneath his furry eyebrows. " He knows something."

" Listen to me," Jason instructed his friend with hushed directness. " Everything's goes exactly as planned. The cops pushed things back a little, but it's still going down just as before."

Nodding, Ritchie wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, letting a shaky breath out.

" I know, I know. I just…Mr. Corinthos, he and I don't exactly get along. I dunno what I ever did, but-"

" Sonny is Sonny. Ignore him," he advised coolly.

Barking out a disbelieving snort, Ritchie ended the mirthless laugh with a sigh. " Easier said than done."

Standing there, almost as a bystander to Ritchie's nerves, Jason peered at the man through inspective eyes. The smoothness of his voice countered the dull speculating gleam in his eyes. " I need your head in this Ritchie."

" Man, come on," Ritchie slapped Jason's shoulder, " It's me. I'm here for you man. You know that."

Jason nodded, but it fell way short of convinced.

" Okay, well. I got the midnight post at the warehouse so…I'll catch you tomorrow."

Ritchie was halfway across the parking lot when Jason called out to him. He turned, the jumpy look still very much in place. He shuffled a bit forward when Jason didn't say anything, just continued staring at him. His eyes were a severe blue, a blue that bothered most people, even friends, but usually not Ritchie. Until now. Jason's eyes were disturbingly clear and void when he decided to speak.

" Elizabeth's life is on the line. So is her family." When Ritchie automatically shook his head it only added to Jason's concealed anger. " Don't fuck with me."

Ritchie's only reply was a voluntary shaking of his head. From the blank look on his face it appeared to be the only thing he could manage at the moment. Jason's eyes never left his, they were unceasing as Ritchie entered his car and drove off a little faster than necessary.

Jason had a lot of rethinking to do. About everything. Which meant another sleepless night. He couldn't afford any slip ups and if that meant he didn't sleep till this was over than so be it. His body and his mind couldn't seem to stay in one place without thinking about what he had to do, what had already been done, and what he had forgotten.

He was so goddamn restless, he felt ready to rip his fucking skin off. He watched Ritchie make the turn that led to the exit for the highway. Yeah, he was going to be up all goddamn night, but first he needed a good stiff cup of coffee.


	27. Chapter 27

_The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. Flora Whittemore_

" How is she?"

" Fine I guess."

" What do you mean you guess?" Jason's head arrowed forward from its leaning position against the seat. " Is she okay?"

" No, she's fine." Max hurried to subdue Jason's snarl of a query. His growl resonated like a lion's roar after becoming immune to the peacefulness of the solitude of Maine. " She's just quiet."

" Quiet." Jason repeated displeased. He should have been relieved by Max's explanation, but he wasn't. In fact his lungs cramped like he was in short supply of oxygen and his stomach started tightening. " Is she sleeping at night?"

" Yeah, I'm mean I'm assuming so. She goes into her room pretty early. I try to give her privacy." He paused for a moment, his opinion more reflective than informative. " She likes to be alone. I just try not to bother her too much. She's reading the books you got."

Scratching his eyebrow, Jason suppressed the impatient groan that built without warning.

" What else is she doing?"

" Nothing. She walks a lot."

" Walks? Where?" Jason interrogated.

From the kitchen Max spotted Elizabeth right outside the house, in the spacious backyard. She was sitting in the middle of the lawn, her face buried in one of the books Jason had purchased for her behalf. " In the woods out back."

" No. " He rushed out. " Not anymore she's not."

" Jason, she's fine." Max calmly tried to break through his friend's one track mind.

" I don't care. It's too dangerous." His mind was already made up. " Tell her I said no."

" Jason, no. She needs this. She likes to walk. It's the only thing that helps her." Max's voice climbed as his own frustration seized precedence over his need to reassure.

Once Jason had decided something it was virtually impossible to steer him in the any other direction, but Max was accustomed to the man's insufferable iron will and he wasn't about to be intimidated by Jason as easily as others were.

Besides he knew where his friend's motivations stemmed from and it was a good place. " Jason, we took everything away from her. She has no family, no home, nothing. Give it a rest. Let her have this."

The unsure tentativeness in his bosses' next wondering was an odd occurrence to witness. " Is she okay?" He hesitated again, " I mean…how is she really?"

His eyes were trained on the woman Jason was fighting hard not to sound attached to. Elizabeth's soft features were bunched together, lost in thought, in another dimension completely. She was reading Hemingway, he noticed, scrunching his eyes together to read the cover title.

There was a small part of him that was very tempted to bust out laughing. Jason was a fucking hard ass by nature, but the second something seemed off concerning Elizabeth's well being, he either transformed into an inscrupable tyrant or he got all hushed and bashful.

" Dude, she's fine. She's just lonely." He admitted with the intent to ease. And from his first hand observation of the girl her loneliness was just a façade of the undercurrent of pain she hid.

Jason's lids closed, hearing Max but not really listening. His throat felt like someone was squeezing it into submission as he answered. "Just watch her. When she goes for walks, don't take your eyes off her."

" Already done." Max replied confidently. " When are you going to be here?"

" Soon. Tonight or tomorrow morning the latest."

" Good. Is there anything you want me to tell Elizabeth?" When Jason didn't immediately answer Max adjusted his phrasing. " I mean from you…personally."

" No." Jason said quickly. He couldn't think of one thing he would say if he could. They had left on okay terms, but their friendship, which was a word he associated loosely regarding them, was so fragile and unpredictable he didn't want to push her. " No. It's fine. I'll see her when I get there."

" Okay."

" Okay."

Max could hear him breathing heavy on the other end. " I'll see you in a few then."

" Yeah," Jason's voice sprung from the silence like he had been caught off guard. " Bye."

Max heard the phone click but he couldn't comprehend the peculiarity of Jason's shift from endless grilling to sharp abruptness. Oh well, he lifted his shoulders carelessly, making his way over to the side door. Jason was someone you could take hours to figure out and even when you thought you got somewhere, somehow you'd be wrong.

His head was still shaking when he twisted the knob and called out Elizabeth's name.

She was fast; jogging over to him in an easy pace. Her face appeared to have more color especially in her cheeks, which were rosy. Her curls also had a healthy shine to them. The natural pink tint of her alabaster complexion glowed amidst the sun and colors of fall.

" Yeah." Her brow lifted. Her thumb was caught in between the pages of the book.

He eyed the cover again, giving her a curious look. " Any good?"

She flipped the book up, showing him the particular short story she was reading.

He recited the title out loud. " Tell Tale Heart." He smiled back at her. " Good one."

"You know it?" she questioned disbelieving then cringing inwardly when she realized how insulting she must have come across.

" One of my favorites." He didn't seem to even notice her unintentional barb. " My English teacher in high school always said that out of all of Hemingway's shorts, this one read best aloud."

Elizabeth contemplated what she hoped was a suggestion. She liked Max. He was easy to be around. He almost made her forget about what a catastrophe her life was. He never made her nervous which was odd considering what he did and who he worked for. And if that didn't make her anxious there was always the unobstructed view of his glock under his jacket that reminded her daily of his occupation.

But even so, she couldn't help but enjoy her time with him since his presence seemed to relax her, calm her nerves and whatever else was warring to life inside her.

" You wanna read it to me?" she asked in a timid manner.

She was a sweet kid. Her cheeks peaked in color as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. Jason was right, the girl was definitely an innocent. Max sure as hell hoped

Jason knew what he was doing. He was playing with fire if he thought he could help this girl and walk away unaffected. His friend was either in serious denial or just that dumb.

" Sure." Max pointed his thumb to the room behind him. " How bout I make us some lunch and we can read it outside together."

" I like that idea." She didn't bother to hide her enthusiasm. It was a rare but pleasant sight. " I like that a lot. Thanks Max."

" No problem." He stepped back up on the ledge of the step. " Ham this time or are you sticking to turkey?"

" Um.." Her eye traveled circularly up, lost in her decision. " I'm predictable. What can I say. Turkey, please."

Max chuckled as he turned. " Okay, Jason's going to be pissed," he sing -songed into the air.

When he didn't hear the giggle he expected to erupt from her, he turned and found her frozen in place. " Elizabeth-"

" Oh…I didn't know." She stuttered. " Maybe we should go back to the store and get more before he gets back-"

" Elizabeth," He interrupted, stepping out the door, and watching her go from vivaciously present to a shrunken shell of herself in two seconds flat. " I was kidding Elizabeth. Jason doesn't care."

" I just…," feeling stupid, she backed up a pace, needing the distance. She hated that she seemed to fall apart the minute his name was even mentioned in any conversation.

" I don't want to make him mad. I seem to have a talent for that with him."

" Why do you think that is Elizabeth?"

She shrugged, searching his brown eyes for a clue that wasn't presently in sight. "I have no idea…he hates me? I get on his nerves. I'm not quite sure, but whatever it is, it's not good."

" Maybe," Max responded, capturing her attention and making her embarrassment dissolve like sunlight breaking through rain clouds. " Maybe it's something else. Something you can't quite see yet."

8

Betrayal was a powerful thing.

Sonny had been witness, victim to it more times that he liked to recount. There was no going back once betrayal set its' ugly foot in things. Even the smallest amount of disloyalty marred people, memories, in a permanent sense that could never be recovered.

He had seen friends, enemies, didn't matter who, choked under the web betrayal weaved, leaving those who survived the task of untangling the lies from truth.

He might be the most powerful man on the eastern cost, but treachery was no respecter of person. There was no human being on the planet who hadn't at one point in their life been a casualty to the universal sin of deception.

The familiar uncomfortable stirring in his bones spoke now to him, whispering in his thoughts that something foul was accruing below the surface. He couldn't pin his finger on exactly what was occurring, but the commotion inside him was so abounding, Sonny couldn't ignore it even if he wanted to. Which he didn't.

He had always been a man who followed his instincts. His instincts were the active proof why he was still breathing instead of six feet under like half of the guys he started in the organization with.

Business was good. Benny always reported the numbers on time and as far as profit went, statistics didn't lie. Their organization was flourishing, the legal and illegal side. Mr. Webber was dead like he adequately deserved, but there was no justification, no sense of gratification like he expected there to be once he heard retribution was carried out.

Disloyalty or whatever name a person wanted to call it was infectious. If word got around that one person got away with deceiving him, who was to say that another one of his employees wouldn't be so bold?

Either way Sonny Corinthos wasn't taking any chances. He wouldn't deny the impulse that surged through him to go with his gut, find the source of his discomfort and eliminate the problem.

He was a reasonable man. He wanted peace, but if his hand was forced and maiming and killing were his only solutions to maintain power that was envied by most, Sonny wouldn't hesitate to do so.

His eyes swung to the front door of his unlit living room. He had a hunch that if he wanted answers, Ritchie was a good place to start.

8

He promised he would let her take her walk alone like she asked. But that didn't mean he couldn't spy on her through the windows.

Between the binoculars and the fact that he was sneaking, Max couldn't help but feel a little bit like a voyeur. But the every other minute reminder that the end justified the mean in this case soothed his worry adequately enough to let him to his job.

At least that is what he had been trying hard to convince himself of for the past half hour. Jason would most definitely murder him if he was ever to find out that Max had allowed Elizabeth to roam around the woods, no chaperon, in the dark, no less. Alone.

No, he liked his life. A lot.

He gulped audibly, the mental image of Jason's furious face as he poured out his disappointment in him with a nice thorough beating, flashed in front of him. He'd seen the man carry out such punishments over far less.

The wind was blowing something fierce outside. The walls rattled around him, the wires from the antenna on the roof, hitting against the side of the house. She had to be getting cold out there. The nights had been drastically bitter for early September and all Elizabeth had on was her large pullover sweater and whatever she was wearing underneath.

Just looking at her gave him a chill down to his bones.

If Max had been timing her, he would estimate she'd been out there for a solid hour. His foot tapped on the rug, the short staccato beat in time with his ramblings. What was out there that was so interesting?

The more days past, the more walks she started taking.

A whole two weeks had gone since Jason took off and Elizabeth's reclusive nature was growing rapidly, by the day.

The idea that she was fading, sinking inside herself, did not sit well with him. She was a sweet, good person. Never any trouble. Sometimes he hardly noticed her, she was so quiet. He presumed or hoped her silence was more because she was naturally a shy person and had nothing to do with him personally.

Max had spent most of his time there tip toeing around her so as not to startle or scare her in any way. This whole situation had to be getting to her, messing her up, but if it was, her behavior made no indication.

Elizabeth was acting so normal, Max didn't have to be psychologist to come to the basic assumption that something was wrong. Very wrong. She needed someone; someone to talk to, even if they didn't have the answers she was searching for. Sometimes a sounding board was all a person needed to alleviate the pressure or anxiety of events this traumatic.

Max volunteered Jason. He was closer to her than anybody. If there was one person who could get through to her, he was fairly certain Jason was it. They had a connection; it was easy even for a dope like him to notice. They both played a good game of fighting their feelings, attraction, but, in the end, it was pointless. Fighting against it was only serving to confuse and alienate themselves from the other.

Elizabeth wanted to open up to Jason. Jason wanted to reach out to her. And both were to damn stubborn to do either.

The slam of the front door woke him from his trailing analysis. When did he become so insightful? He gathered it must be a side effect from living with a chick for the past two weeks.

" How's everything going?"

Off balance from the recognition that it was Jason's voice not Elizabeth's who had just spoken, Max whipped around, hiding the binoculars behind his back. A guilty red flush spread across his cheeks as his greeting cracked on its way out from his mouth.

"Jason, hey. Good to see ya man."

Okay, so maybe he was overdoing it just a tad with the enthusiasm.

Jason shook his head, throwing his jacket on the couch as he scanned the living room then the dark hall to his left. Knowing full well what his next question would be when Max saw Jason's mouth open, panic rose and Max interjected a quick comment.

" You're here early. Wow, you must've flew."

Jason didn't seem to hear him. " Where is she?"

" Dude, you must be hungry. I bought your favorite. Honey turkey. I bought a couple of pounds. Elizabeth loves the stuff. I think I made every kind of turkey dish there is."

Thinking it was safe to look at him, Max took a swift peek and all his rehearsed thoughts evaporated into thin air.

Jason just stood there, hands on hip, eyes fatality stagnant in their wait.

Max shrugged, " Okay turkeys out. How bout a soda? You must be thirsty after the long trip."

Jason didn't budge. " Where is she Max?"

" She?"

" Max!"

" Oh she…you mean Elizabeth, she. Right, well, um, you see…it's all very complicated. Actually it's not complicated. More like she's complicated. Okay, complicated is not the word I'd use. More like complex. Elizabeth….she's ah….she's quite a girl, ya know?"

Jason's face, if possible, darkened.

" I mean I don't know. Personally that is. She and I were like on opposite ends of the room the whole time. I never even paid attention to her. No…I mean…I paid attention. Obviously. Duh. I just didn't pay close attention like you would."

Disregarding the two steps between the room, Jason made a short jump minimizing the distance between him and his guard by half.

" Not that you would pay close attention. I mean…uh…what was the question?"

" Elizabeth, Max. Elizabeth."

" Oh Elizabeth…she's ah…" Max fought to keep his voice light, " Just taking a little walk outside the house. Getting a breather before-"

" What? It's night."

" Yes it is. I see that." Max replied overly appeasing. " She likes the night."

" You let her take a walk this time at night. Are you crazy?" he yelled, turning to grab his jacket and head out the door.

" Jason, wait," Max shouted to stop him. " She's been sitting out there the whole time. I can see her at the edge of the woods. She's fine. I've been watching her from in here."

Not relieved, Jason barked back, " You're not watching her now are you."

" That is true." Max was at the window, binoculars up, finding the spot she was at instantly from memory.

He heard Jason rush to his side, his breathing heavy as he impatiently inquired, " Well?"

Max gulped." Oh shit."

" What?" Jason ripped the visual device from his hands.

Max was making a leap for the front door as he shouted. " She's not there."

8

The woods grew denser the farther down she traveled.

Elizabeth wasn't sure what had compelled her, but her feet kept moving and she wasn't strong enough to argue. She didn't want to fight herself. She had spent so much time in her head doing precisely that and she was sick of it.

When were things going to subside? That is all she cared about now. She didn't want to argue with Jason. She didn't want her family in grave danger, and she didn't want to be here, like this. As his hostage, his leverage, whatever the hell label he had given her.

Elizabeth had to make up her mind. Either she was here, under his thumb, doing as he said, taking his orders when she couldn't trust him as far as she could throw him or she was going to take control of her life and take some action.

Of course, taking action meant doing battle with Jason, maybe even lying to him. Going along with his plan and playing his own game against him of the trustworthy friend who wanted to help, but Elizabeth was less than confident that she could pull it off. She was a horrible liar and worse she hated deception no matter what the greater good.

Her pace quickened; the house a mere speck over her shoulder now. Her breathing increased, her heart pumping out of her chest plate, threatening to burst from the cold and strangling feelings.

Max was watching her through the window. He was hard to miss with his bulky shape. He didn't even close the curtains or sit to disguise his intrusion on her.

She understood that Max was acting on Jason's orders and it was that mere fact alone that pretty much summed up her only option-herself. No one was going to protect her except her. She had to remind herself of that at least twenty times a day.

The mental task was very difficult. Especially with Jason's outwardly sincere promises emphasized justly by the pure direct color of his eyes. How was she supposed to ignore that? No one possessed that much personal strength.

But she had no choice. She had to save her family. She had to find out where they were and get them out of the country, if necessary. And if that required misleading Jason to believe she trusted him to get information out of him, one way or another, Elizabeth was going to do it.

Slowing to a halt, she decided it was probably best to head back before Max had a panic attack. She didn't want her disregard for Jason's rules to cause the guard any trouble. Making her way back to the small path, Elizabeth looked down, realizing she could barely make out her feet, it had become dark so fast.

Seconds later she heard her name being called out and she stopped in her place. She waited to hear it a second time, positive she was imaging things, but when her name echoed off the enormous trees that surrounded her, the voice she heard was most definitely, unmistakably Jason's.

Damn it to hell.

Even this far away there was no confusing the anger in his scream. He sounded mad, angry, pissed off and of course, she was the intended target. Elizabeth quickened her steps, surmising that if she met them halfway and appeared rational, demonstrating that she was more than capable of handling herself out in the woods, alone, maybe, just, maybe Jason wouldn't freak out.

But the faster she ran, the more vivid the figure of Jason's enraged face materialized. The image set her to a full throttle run, her feet hitting dirt and unannounced lumpy hills that sprang from nowhere. There was the occasional jagged stone scattered among the trail as well and just when the two shadows of Jason and Max started to break apart from the crowding darkness, Elizabeth foot caught between two large protruding stones, jolting her body off balance and pitching her off to the side.

The fall came so hard and fast, she had no time to shield her face or body.

One second she was running and the next she was face forward, stumbling, out of control. Her body felt like it was being thrown about by some unmovable invisible force. There was nothing she could do except wait until something forced the tumbling momentum to a stop

Her arms, her legs, every part of her was hitting a million different pieces of rock, woods, and ground. She was summer saulting down hill, the speed increasing with every hit of her body into the ground.

Then, out of nowhere, a rock, almost the size of the one she had been sitting on earlier in the week, cut off the snowballing motion. Her body jerked forward, her shins hitting the rock first. The collide was so strong it propelled her upper body forward sending her forehead smack into the middle of the center of the large obstruction.

The strike was so powerful, Elizabeth instantly blacked out, her body going limp, spread across the grass at the foot of one of the many small hills that bordered the area. She was completely unconscious and therefore unaware of Jason's pleading screams as he neared not far from where he was.

8

" Elizabeth!" Jason shouted from the top of his lungs.

His head whipped around the immediate vicinity as his legs carried him with the speed of a race track hoarse on steroids. Not bothering to think, he just kept himself moving, dodging around trees and bushes like a flash of lightning. He knew the area like the back of his hand. There was no time to waste. Elizabeth would have answered by now. Something was wrong. The woods weren't that dense that she couldn't hear his calls.

Where the fuck was she? Adrenaline shot through him like a drug, sending him forward like an out of control missile. He was running so fast his heart was beating somewhere between his throat and his stomach. His legs burned from the pressure of his rapid pace, but those were minor nothings compared to finding Elizabeth.

" Max." He didn't waste time turning around or slowing down. The later it got the colder she would be and the greater chance of her falling ill. "Go back around the other way. Towards the house. Now."

Max's okay was a tiny vibration of sound next to the wind in his ears and the fear in his head.

" Elizabeth!" Godddamit. Where the fuck was she? " Answer me!"

He could have sworn he saw something a few feet ahead. A shadow, movement, something had definitely shifted against the solid blackness of the trees. He saw it.

He slowed down a bit, close to where he had seen the supposed sighting.

" Elizabeth." He heaved into the air. No one returned his answer.

His head spun around, but everything looked the same, blurring together like a mesh of nature. Jason couldn't decipher tree from tree. Every area looked the same as the other no matter which way his head turned. He felt like he was in some sort of twisted fun house in search of a way out that didn't exist.

Scurrying forward, Jason licked his dry lips, beating down the panic that awoke and stretched inside him like a demon rising from hell. She was okay. She had to be. There was nothing out here that could hurt her. She probably just….

Branches crackled underneath him. His large puffs of breath the only noise in the large, overwhelming countryside. His fingers clawed at his hair, digging through the top of his head with brutal carelessness.

He stepped closer to the edge of the small hill that drifted from the trail. His dark glare soaked in the details of the setting laid out in front of him, certain he had missed something. The meadow was clear, clean. There was no sign of life or a disturbance of any kind.

" Shit," he growled. His feet were moving forward, but his head was darting in ten different directions back and forth. He glanced at the ground below the hill, his eyes skimmed the bushes below, meeting only pitch darkness and then…Jason did a double take.

Pale white flesh.

He ran down the small hill, tripping a few times, but it only benefited to hasten his pace. He past one of her sneakers on the side of the hill, but didn't pick it up. His single-minded attention only on her.

He stopped at the bottom of the hill. His body jolting into a frozen position as his brain wrapped around the frightening sight in front of him.

Elizabeth was unconscious. Her body L shaped. There were a jagged cut that started at the corner of her bottom lip and squiggled out. Horrified, he took in the lump on the side of her head, the purple bruise on her cheek, but even those healable marks weren't what paralyzed him in place.

It was the blood. From her head, the red substance trickled down the side of the face like a tiny river that never subsided its' flow. The blood wasn't dry and therefore that meant it was still very much oozing from some place on her head he couldn't see.

This was bad. He crouched down over her body, scooping his arm under her neck and not wasting any more time than he had already.

" Max!" he shouted, lifting her in his arms effortlessly and holding her against his chest as he took his first cramped breath inhaling her hair.

" It's okay," he whispered, smelling her scent and kissing the top of her head as his heart pinched to life inside him. " You're going to be okay, Elizabeth. I promise."

It was the first time he wasn't sure he could deliver.


	28. Chapter 28

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I just wanted to thank you all so much for your wonderful, consistent replies. They are amazing and they seriously keep me motivated. You're all amazing and I wrote this chappy as a little present to you. Hope you like it.

* * *

_There can be no peace of mind in love_

_Since what was has obtained is never anything _

_But a starting point for further desires. Marcel Proust_

Jason hadn't moved from his spot.

He stood near her but didn't crowd, like a bodyguard at his post, watching her and nothing else. Besides for the small rise and fall of his chest, he hadn't budged from place. Like a statute. His face was pensive, but keenly alert to all movements and sounds around him.

Max was more than a little reluctant to break Jason of the protective trancelike state he seemed to be stuck in ever since he brought Elizabeth back from the woods.

He had never seen his friend and boss do such a shitty job at trying to hide his panic. He stayed by her side, barking orders for medicine and blankets in one breath and soothing Elizabeth in the next.

Ripping all the pillows from their places on the couch Jason surrounded her body with them, using one to lay her head on. By the time Max returned with the warmest comforter he could find, on Jason's bed, the man had already started a fire and it was roaring with the energy of newborn life.

Besides for the small incoherencies meant for Elizabeth's ears only, Jason hadn't spoken; which was when Max knew it was time to worry. The man was always short on words and big on action, but this, here, was a different sort of silence. A silence that meant Jason was too busy stacking the blame on himself, turning the guilt inward. He was powerless in the situation and that was not something he was equipped to handle. Not when it could have been easily avoided.

With the blood drizzling down from her semi deep head wound, Max had tried at reassuring him that head wounds bled a lot, but it didn't cease Jason's worry. In fact, Jason had just stopped talking altogether. He washed the dirt and blood from her face, cupping her so gently like she was a breakable antique he didn't want to spoil.

Max watched as he worked slowly and silently, only asking once if he thought a doctor was necessary because she hadn't woken yet. Elizabeth stirred in that precise moment, opening her eyes halfway and murmuring something unintelligible as her unfocused gaze shone on Jason.

He smiled down at her, washing his thumb over her smooth bruised cheek and whispered a ssshing noise against her forehead. The sound must have held some magic to it because by the time his soft command reached her, Elizabeth's eyes were closed and her breathing was level.

Jason's features went back to stone again. Unhappy and unsatisfied with what had taken place. Max couldn't help but take most of the responsibility for this accident. He was in charge of her. Elizabeth was on his watch and Jason had trusted him to keep her safe and unharmed and he had failed.

So he waited. Standing on the outskirts of the living room until he thought it was safe to approach Jason. He wanted to give the man the space he felt he needed before apologizing profusely for the lack of charge, but time was running short.

Sonny needed him back. Max also didn't think he could tolerate Jason's muted demeanor for one more second; whether it was directed at him or not, the frigid silence was unbearable to his ears.

" Jason," he called softly to Jason's stiff back.

Turning his head a fraction of an inch, the dark silhouette of Jason's profile was the only visibility Max could make out of his features, giving away only a hint of his state of mind. " She's sleeping," he hoarsely replied, " Lower your voice."

" Can I…" Max dodged around the question, hoping Jason would telepathetically deduce where he was headed.

Begrudgingly Jason uprooted himself from the place he had been standing for the past half hour straight. Nudging his chin in the direction of the hallway, Max backed up as Jason glanced once more to the sleeping figure in front of the lively concealed fire.

Her bruises looked worse next to the flames, darker, more pronounced like the fire was drawing out the worst of her fall. The cut on her forehead was too deep into her thick hair to see but the one on her lip had crusted over already. From Max's viewpoint the small scratch looked like a tiny bolt of lightning. He noticed that every time Jason's eyes moved past it, his eyes brightened in disgust just as his pupils expanded to drown the blue out.

" What?" Jason's hands rested on his hips. He appeared ready to end the conversation and it hadn't even begun yet.

Max leveled his gaze on him, rearranging his words over and over in his head, but no matter how much he reworded his apologize, it fell short of worthy. " I'm sorry, man. I'm …I was so wrong. I should have never let her go out."

" You're right." Jason didn't spare him an inch of relief. " You shouldn't have."

Jason's stare was colder than any blast of wind. All Max could do was shrug, feeling the weight of Jason's accusations as he moved. " I understand if you want another guy up here. For the next round I mean."

" There wont be a next time."

" Jason, I-"

" It's over, Max." His brow covered the expression of his eyes like an awning. Max couldn't read him. " I'm taking Elizabeth to her family soon. I won't need you." He said matter of fact.

" Oh." He waited to feel the release of anxiety or pressure this specific ordeal had put him and Ritchie through, but it never came. In fact, the pressure worsened, like a stomach ache. " So it will all be over soon."

Jason sighed, the small breath holding the weight of his thoughts. " Yeah. Soon."

" I guess that's good then. I mean…things will go back to normal." He trained the lightness in his tone to come, especially for moments like this. " Finally, right."

Flicking the side of his nose in what Max considered one of Jason's edgier traits, Max derived that the time for conversation needed to come to a close. " Okay."

Patting his shoulder, Jason gave the man a stiff smile. " Drive safe."

Max didn't move; even when Jason walked around him to open the door.

" Be careful." Max said simply. He wasn't positive Jason had heard him. He had said the words so quietly, almost as if he was warning the emptiness of the house around him.

Unserious, Jason peered out at the night sky from the door, scarping his chin with careless fingers as he unintentionally overlooked Max's counsel. " We'll be fine. I can take care of this."

He turned and met Jason's face, not blinking. " I mean with her Jason. Be careful with her."

" What do you think I've been doing?" His clamped mouth somehow got the defensive retort out. " I'm protecting her. I'm making sure she stays alive until I can get her and her parents out of here. I told you it would be soon. Everything else is out of my control until then."

" You know what I mean." Max slung back at him, confident Jason was being purposefully evasive on the subject at hand. "There's something going on with you two. Something more personal than just this damn situation."

Sending him a caveating glare, Jason broke eye contact, answering Max with a view of his stern profile and nothing more.

" I'm not trying to pry Jason. I know it's none of my business, but-"

" Goddamn right it's not."

" But," he continued, undiscouraged by Jason's frosty interjection, " I see it. From both of you. Elizabeth, she cares about you Jason. Deeply. Just the mention of your name makes her all jittery and shit-"

" It's called hate Max." Jason's clogged voice supplied. " She hates me. With good reason."

" No, Jason. You're wrong. That's what you think, maybe even she does, but it's more and you know it. That's why you're running scared shitless."

Jason planted him with a look of utter disdain, clearly hoping his verbal skills would falter after such an unmistakable signal that Max had indeed pushed his limit. But Max would leave once he had said his peace. He didn't think he would get another opportunity.

" I consider you my friend Jason. I'm not trying to bust your balls, man. I'm trying to be truthful. Both of you are so caught up in protecting yourselves, you're not seeing what is going on right in front of you. Elizabeth needs you. She's scared and hurt and has absolutely no one to talk to about any of this. Jason," he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, " Jason, I think she wants to open up to you and I think you want her to, but you need to let your guard down. Let her in."

Exhaling a short wave of dismissive air from his mouth, Jason's tone was laced in sheer mockery, his defenses raw and fresh for battle. " When did you become such an expert on her."

" When I saw and listened. It's not that hard." Max stated simply, ignoring Jason's dimmed sarcasm. " But then again, I'm not the one falling for her."

" Fuck you." Jason tossed out, his curse light and casual as it fell from his mouth.

" Falling for her." He repeated the words disgustingly, as if the preposterous idea had never entered his mind.

" You're such a stupid bastard, you know that." Max went on, unhindered. He came to stand in front of Jason who was leaning against the wall, his head down, his eyes holding his with a dull gleam, shrouded in amusement but mostly filled with hostility.

" You think I don't know why you did what you did for her. Why you saved her family. It was a lot more than just gratitude. Gratitude is one thing. You're risking your freaking life for this girl, your job, Sonny, everything…because, what?-"

Jason's automatic answer came just as expected. " She saved my life. I owe her."

" Bullshit." Max shook his head. " That's bullshit and you know it. You wouldn't have done any of this, gone this far for her if you didn't feel something. What about in the kitchen. I know I interrupted but there was definitely-"

" Max."

" What would have happened if I didn't come in? Huh? You want her, you like her, its so fucking obvious. You just don't want to like her."

He didn't expect Jason to actually answer him so he didn't wait. " Isn't that right? It would be so much more convenient if she didn't get to you because then you could just ignore her, pretend she doesn't exist. But you can't and that pisses you off so you fight it, fight her. Make her hate you so this is all a little bit easier, but its not. It won't be. None of this will if both of you keep going like this. You're going to end up hurting each other so badly the damage won't be repairable. Is that what you want?"

Standing straight, Jason reached his full height, his stare heavily armored but breakable.

" You should go. Before it gets too late."

" Yeah." Max resigned. " Like I said, Jason. I'm not trying to piss you off. I just…I care about you man and Elizabeth…she's sweet, she's so fragile compared to us. You've gotta be careful with her." Max glanced at her sleeping form then swung his eyes back to Jason who was looking at Elizabeth.

" I'd never hurt her on purpose." Jason admitted, his voice for the first time defenseless.

" I don't want her hurt. I'm trying..."

" I know, man. I know." Max found the keys hanging on the wall next to him. He grabbed them, gave his friend a small tentative smile before stepping out the door.

" I'll be in touch."

Jason didn't turn his sight from her. " Yeah." He whispered, unconsciously, " I'll see ya."

* * *

When she awoke it was to the sound of crackling fire and warm silence.

For a second Elizabeth thought she was dead. Or dreaming. The smell of sweet tea, the peaceful lull of quiet and comfort invading her senses like an over indulgent drug filling the crevasses of her insides that the cold had hollowed out.

Her thick black lashes blinked up at the ceiling; blinking rapidly and off beat with her foggy mind. She searched to remember where she was and what had happened to bring her here to the floor of Jason's living room. Trying to move she suddenly felt a shockwave of pain bolt up from her jaw to the center of her head.

She stifled the painful cry in her throat, assured that if it hurt just to speak now than this short lived twinge was just the warning pain of a migraine if she dared to move an inch out of her place.

Her eyes drifted down to her body. A sea of pillows and blankets lay circumferenced around her small form. From her disadvantaging position it was hard to tell where she ended and where the mounds of fluff began.

The roaring fire beside her stoked higher; a gentle comforting heat to her damp and bruised body.

Elizabeth felt like a rag doll that had been trashed and gnarled on by a bunch of seething dogs. She attempted to move again, the vibration of pain just a slight introduction to god knows what, but then she heard the small gentle voice to her right caution against her attempt and Elizabeth froze for an entirely different reason.

" I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Her eyes traveled right, her body lying still on its' back. Jason was on the couch. He looked like he had been there for some time, watching her, watching over her.

The thought perplexed her for a moment as she tried to speak. " I'm fine. I could use some Motrin or something."

He was in the kitchen before the last letter had been dropped from her mouth. As he made his way back to her she got a full head to toe view of him.

He looked good. Better than good. His complexion had held on to its natural golden brownish color while his eyes were diamond bright and piercing. Whatever weight he lost from the gunshot wound had been replaced and filled in his face and upper body, giving him an all around healthy male glow.

He was in all black. Shirt, pants, shoes, even his watch was black. Something about the monotony of the one color attire dramatized the edge of Jason's already innate lethal appeal. He looked like he belonged next to a cracked bank vault with a ski mask in his hand, not inside a cozy country cabin, aiding a dumb, clumsy fool such as herself.

Her skin peeked in temperature just recalling the mortification she had and would suffer. She couldn't even run ten feet without finding some sort of obstruction to fall over. She was nightmare and if she could read minds she was predicting Jason's was probably running along the lines that he had picked the wrong family member as a hostage.

" Here."

She was surprised when he came to sit so close next to her. His large body cast a shadow over and gave him an ominous presence she wasn't quite comfortable with in her weakened position.

Suddenly she wondered how long she had been out and for how much time he had been sitting there, looking over her while she was lying there asleep, completely unaware of his trained eyes on her.

The two small pills lay flat and tiny in the palm of his hand. The glass of water stretched out in his other waiting palm.

Ignoring the thundering pain that shot out in her head, Elizabeth gulped, sat up off balance and skittered a bit away from his monstrously huge form. She didn't know why but he seemed so much bigger than her at the moment. Like there was so much of him her brain could take in and register at once; his mere presence starkly overwhelming.

" Thanks." She spoke between clenched teeth. " I'm okay." She swallowed the pills easily, handing him back the glass and making sure her skin didn't touch his.

When he didn't oblige her the space she was seeking, she forced a strained smile to form over her lips. Even that hurt. " I'm fine, Jason. Really."

The stare he responded with was one of clear disbelief. " You don't look good."

" Thanks." She pressed her finger into the sore spot on her cheek.

He continued staring, his eyes eclipsing black when he saw her flinch at her own touch. " I'm being serious."

Her head fell forward as her fingers traveled up, finding and rubbing the sore spot just above the crown of her forehead. Her reply was muffled and dry." Well if you fell down a hill and was knocked unconscious maybe you wouldn't look so good either."

" You're in pain." His tone was displeased.

She chuckled weakly. " I'm okay. Just give me twenty minutes and a nice long bath."

" Okay."

She darted him a look through the small opening of her falling hair. " I was kidding. About the bath that is."

He shrugged thoughtlessly. His eyes rooted to some place on her face. " I wasn't. The bath will do you good."

" Maybe later." She shifted under his caging watch, licking her lip and wincing at the small sting the careless act provoked. " I'm too tired to do anything but sleep right now."

When he remained bending over her, his stare still abundantly pervasive, her frustration got the better of her pain and circumstance. " What?"

The veil of pensiveness lifted from his eyes. " What?" He shook his head.

" Why are you looking at me?" He didn't immediately answer, which jump started her irritation to a harsher level. " I'm fine. I don't need you coddling me. I have a headache not an aneurysm. Give me some space."

" Why were you out there?" He questioned as if he hadn't heard a word she said.

" I was walking. Didn't Max tell you?"

His breathing grew lethargic, his glare beating down on her defensives." He told me you liked to walk. Why?"

She eyed him with trepidation before returning her attention to the cut on her head. " Clears my head."

" From what?" He relentlessly sought.

" From being here."

" With me."

" Don't be so sure."

Aggravated he demanded softly," Stop lying to me."

She scraped the hair away from her eyes. Her body imploring for some semblance of balance her senses had been abandoned of. " It helps me think, okay."

" And you have to endanger yourself to think," he assumed, loathing himself for her need of this freedom he had stolen from her. " You could have walked in the backyard. It's big enough. You have to journey into the fucking woods. You could have injured yourself worse than a few cuts."

" Don't curse at me." She shouted despite the screaming soreness in her head. " I walk where I want, when I want. I like the woods okay. I like the trees and the grass. I like being there. Alone. And I don't have to explain why. It's none of your business."

" I'm trying to help."

She tipped her head at the ceiling, pushing down the wave of emotion." No you're trying to make me crazy."

" I'm sorry."

The velvet sincerity of his apology had her eyes springing up then down to meet his stare.

She leaned her weight on her palms, intent on permitting more distance between them, but the stone of the fireplace blocked all her ambitious plans from progress.

" For what?" She asked cautiously and breathless. There never seemed to be enough air to inhale when she was around him.

" I did this." He admitted lowly, thick repulsion evident and clearly directed at himself.

" If I hadn't been so hard on you.."

" Jason." Unwarranted tears pricked at the lids of her eyes. She saw the palpable hatred burgeon in the sheen of his glare and for some reason she couldn't bear to witness it. " It's fine. It's not you. I wanted to walk…It helps me…"

" Because you're here with me."

" I-I…I just… I just need some air sometimes. To think. Don't, don't blame yourself." Her body scooted forward, acting on sheer impulse when his self destructive gaze didn't lessen. " You know I liked to go in the attic. It's the same here. That's all."

" I don't care." He didn't hear her. " I don't want you hurting yourself because of me. You're already in enough danger as it is."

" It's okay I-" A sharp tight sting ricocheted off her skull drumming to the core of her brain. She leaned forward, pressing the flat of her palm into her head.

" Ow," She tried to play it off as no big deal, already knowing Jason was up and right over her before she could hiss out her reassurances. " I'm okay. I'm fine…I'm sure the Motrin is going to kick in soon."

" Look at me." His soft order stirred the tiny hairs of her eye brows. When she didn't immediately tilt her head up in compliance, both his hands cupped each side of her head, raising it in small deathly inches. He furnished her with a sweep of his brilliant eyes and the skin on her face seemed to melt in his hands as he swiftly jumped into speculatory mode.

Huffing out a disgruntled gurgle, Elizabeth licked the dry parched patches of flesh on her lips, feeling the self conscious blast of awareness when his face inched to the point of sensory suffocation. Her eyes drilled into the spot above his shoulder, her hands fisted at her sides, clumping fabric into frantic quantities with her hands.

His inspection dragged out at a torturing, languorous pace. His eyes seemed to sketch and memorize every detail of her as they moved the length and width of her, from ear to ear, hairline to chin.

It was as if she wasn't there at all, he was so thrown into what he was doing. Elizabeth almost felt like a third party.

Her mouth opened on a sigh, barely missing his chin. " Okay, Jason. I'm fine."

He didn't seem content with her words or with what he saw, but he stopped, releasing her face, but not moving from where he sat over her.

" Are you sure you're alright?" His whispering beseech, she gathered, was meant to dizzy her.

" I-I…yes."

The side of his finger came up, pushing her chin gently but firmly in the direction of his face.

Looking openly at him, her sapphire eyes grew large, darting reluctantly between his candid stare on her. Her skin grew heavy, she felt like cement was being poured over her whole body. She couldn't move to resist him.

" I'm fine." She made the phrase come out before she crumbled altogether.

He shook his head unconsciously, distracted by some part of her face. His thumb climbed from her chin to the cut below her bottom lip. In a slow menacing caress he followed the pattern of the cut and his stare followed his finger, darkening along its path.

" You scared me." He confessed under his breath, so quietly she wasn't sure she had heard him.

" I didn't mean to." She admitted just as low, gulping when his hand voyaged further back and palmed her head in his large hand.

" You never mean to," he lightly accused. His voice was solemn as he spoke against her face, drawing her breath into the rhythm of his. The small connecting sounds, tiny earthquakes as the silence of the room wrapped around their bodies, annihilating whatever excuse she was about to hand him.

All she could do was feel and think him. He was overloading her senses, drowning out her pain, her worry, her life, and taking full reign of what small control she had.

" I don't want to make you mad." When she saw the hint of skepticism reach the corner of his eyes, she, herself, turned serious and frank. " I don't. I know it's all I seem to do, but that's not what I want. It's not what I want at all."

The weight of his palm under the curtain of hair pressed against her skin like a hot furnace. He unabashedly brought her closer, nudging her unwillingness to surrender. Her cheeks kept up their continuous everlasting burning as the tip of her nose bumped the space between his upper lip and nose.

She hadn't touched him yet, but her imagination was running wild with the idea of him and how he would feel against her. The small hairs on his face, the smooth sharp tip of his nose as he drew her in with his greedy intake of breath, the way his eyes cut through her thin veil of awkwardness, reaching for the _her_ he wanted, the one he hunted out and sought like a starving man in need of sustenance .

He licked his lips, his breath shaky against her. " What do you want?"

" I..I want to…I dunno..."

" Right now." His eyes pinned her against the wall of her mind. " What do you want?"

Her answer was urgent but slow in delivery. " Something that doesn't exist." A tear pricked at one of her eyes, but never fell from where it formed.

That answer seemed to be enough for him, shoving him over some limit, some line he thought was uncrossable. He gripped her hair tighter, firmer, almost to the point of pain, but the pleasure was so overflowing and cumbersome, she had to bit at her lip to shield the moan her body threatened to yell.

" Elizabeth," he warned darkly, the crackle of the fire place meeting in beat with the crackle of building sensations that were stalling and waiting at the very edge of their beings.

" Aren't you going to stop me." He couldn't help but taunt.

" I cant." Her cry came against his mouth, her lips quivering and dipping in between the slit of his mouth that hung in await for hers. " I don't want to" she gasped.

She went to finish what he was trying to torment her with by inching her head and mouth up at once but when her lips made tentative contact with his, Jason deftly took charge, leaning the full weight of his desire for her in his kiss.

Elizabeth thought she was ready, at least a little prepared for his ministrations that tended to destroy her reasoning and sense of place and time. She thought he'd be brutal, seducing her with hard unforgiving strokes of his tongue, demanding her to open herself up to him and take ample advantage of her unskillful approach.

She liked that. She didn't know why exactly, but his forcefulness was so intoxicating, mind numbing, she was helpless, but to follow his lead gladly. His patience, his burning need for her was evident in every whispering tremble of his touch and that was enough.

She wasn't ready for this.

He was gentle, his mouth against hers, so gentle she barely felt the sweet capturing lead of his lips between hers. His mouth came and fell away like a beckoning call to her insides, pressing her senses against the surface of her in a throb that pulsed low and quick. Her hands came up, clutching his hair as they begged through his golden silky locks.

Butterfly soft he kissed her once one way, skimmed her nose as he slanted the other way to start the kiss over again. His face seemed to circle hers as he dipped and teased her into the hypnotizing steps of his captivation.

Then she came closer, opening her mouth, catching his lips and he immediately deepened the kiss to a severity that stunned her into submission as both their mouth remained awed and opened and their tongues dominated their actions.

Jason's one hand was steady, cupping her teetering head while the other frantically compressed different parts of her body; squeezing the soft side of her back, traveling down and grabbing at her love handle so greedily into his palm it was like he wanted to take it with him. Her hands were no less busy, working off pure compulsion as she curled her fingers in his silky tousled locks, grabbing at the sides of his head and then going to the back to bring him so close he could feel the imprint of her on his face.

Both their breathings picked up. The white flimsy shirt she was wearing felt like a dissolvable fabric against the heated skin of his chest. Like he was fire and she was snow, melting into him, becoming consumed by him to the point where she didn't know where she began or ended without his touch on her.

The rough obliterating friction of his tongue slowed, finding a new speed, one that was generous as he lazily stroked her again and again, the same way repeatedly, in a design to make her faint. And just when she thought she would Jason would switch, relieve pressure, move slightly another way and the magnetic pull would start all over again.

Not willing to break any sort of physical connection from her, Jason leaned his forehead against hers in a silent message that had her following the lead of his body to the floor. Eyes closed she fell blindly against the pillows behind her, their mouth fused together like they were melded that way by their kiss.

With his one hand Jason grabbed at the back of his shirt from his neck and pulled it over his head, allowing only the small moment of absence from her mouth because of necessity. She took the small second to gulp air, but it wasn't long enough to even draw a full breath.

Jason was everywhere; over her, so near she couldn't breathe without grazing him. His body barricaded hers, the hardness of his chest burning a hole through the paper thin wall of her clothing. He kissed her cheek, tenderly, washing away the ache there, then the cut on her lip before skittering farther towards her ear.

She held her moan in, knowing it would break the glassware if she ever allowed herself to relish in the pleasures he was inflicting on her. The heated moisture of his mouth enclosed around the dangling flesh of her ear, suckling just loud enough for her to hear his diligent work.

Her stomach caved in, an avalanche of need robbing her senses blind of anything else but him. His weight was pressed into her so deeply she could hear his heat beat against her chest, feel the tremble of his knees as she pushed out her pelvis in an unmistaken message.

He heard it. Using his knee he parted her legs and she welcomed his body by wrapping her limbs around his midsection in a tight heady embrace.

" Elizabeth." He groaned her name against the side of her face, his body pulsing like a tightly coiled spring that was about to burst from the pressure.

All she could do was breathe against his satiny tan shoulder and squeeze her eyes closed. She felt the subtle gesture of his hips move against her center, rub slowly up and press her right where she was throbbing with sensitivity and withdraw back only to come a second time harder and stronger.

Elizabeth encouraged him, lifting her bottom from the ground and following his movements eagerly. With one hand she found the trail of his spine and using the pad of her fingers she pressed her body deeper into his, wanting more of his bodies strokes.

Hungry for him she widened her legs and immediately felt the steel hot thickness of his erection. The length and width of him seemed to bury itself, even with his jeans on, inside her; grazing the delicate nub of hers at a tempo that was draining her of restraint.

She craned her neck back as his lips explored the distance between her ear and the flesh of her throat. He was making the sucking noise again and the feasting sound carried such an enjoying timbre, it made the wetness of her private heat. She'd thought she come right there. His lips sank lower, the top hairs of his head an erotic tickle against her chin.

There was a small scoop at the lining of her shirt in front and he pulled it down, trying to nudge the cloth away, but the impatient tug sent a tearing noise ripping through the room. He lusty gaze, half lidded and drunk on her, lifted but she seemed unworried, shoving it further down until the white globe of one breast popped out for him.

God she was so desperate for him she wasn't even acting in character. Where was the meek shy girl who barely showed her shins to the world, forget about her breasts? The tiny miniscule thought made her freeze up a bit, her body clenching under him. He felt it, read her mind, but didn't stop as he spoke, kissing the spot between her breasts.

" Don't." He shook his head, opening his mouth to kiss her again. " Whatever you're thinking don't."

And whatever she was thinking thawed into a shadow of nothing when her whole body went limp in his arms. With his chin he pushed the white cotton of her bra away, exposing one sharp rose nipple. It stood up, aroused, begging from his mouth, his tongue and he didn't hesitate to oblige her silent wish.

His tongue licked the protruding flesh first, skimming it lightly, making her back arch for deeper access into his mouth. She moaned, closed mouth, dying for the hard penetration of his slick wetness, but he ignored her, circling her red bud sluggishly in a taunting manner that made her want to rip her hair from it's root. It actually hurt, the pleasure was so great.

Just when she was about to scream, he trapped the jutting flesh between his lips. And he sucked on her. He sucked so hard and so long her mind went blank, blackening out. His tongue alone was lapping her up, making her mouth go dry. He cornered the tiny nub, pinching her senseless. The momentous, endless sensations rippled up and down her arms, liquefying her boneless, saturating her underwear until his erection was embedded into her to the point where she could feel the straining pulse of him burning through all barriers.

It wasn't until he began to move against her again that she realized all this feeling was building to something. His hips bucked against her recklessly, his mouth coming back to hers and kissed her with an erotic hungriness that slaughtered whatever sense of reserve she had left . The fingers of his one hand enfolded to the shape of bottom, cupping and lifting her from the ground to meet and reply to the urgency of need his body demanded of hers.

She didn't falter as she found and met his possessed pace, gripping the skin of his back and hearing his grunts split the air around them. His other hand plucked at her uncovered breast, his thumb and finger toying mercilessly with the reddened mound.

" Oh god," The sensations piled upon her, sending her forward, swaying her like she was crashing in an ocean in the middle of a great storm. Instinctively her hand came up to shield her cries, but Jason was faster grabbing her wrist and pinning it to the floor next to their faces.

" No." He whispered in a hoarse moan, his hot breath puffing against her mouth as his eyes burned for her to try and defy him. " No. I want to here you when you come."

Those words spurred something to life inside her. The heat in her stomach bloomed and spread, a burst of streaming electricity rivered through her, plummeting her from every angle of her body. Her veins dilated and swelled in her as her whole body unfurled and tidal waved. Her soul felt like it was floating away from her body.

" Oh my god." Her blind cry ripped through both of them.

The buzz of liquid intensity coursed in between the curves of her body, hard and persistent, shooting up her blood flow and growing dormant for a moment only to crescendo out of nowhere as Jason grinded into her like a man crazed.

" Jason," she gasped as a new, stronger, fiercer rush flooded her. The walls of her private juiced and shook, rocketing her immobile. Like a puppet she jerked under him, an innocent bystander to his relentless mastering power.

When the riotous tingles finally subsided Elizabeth lay spent under Jason, sweaty and shaky, coughing on the anew soreness of her throat and blushing instantly when she realized why it was there.

He was kissing the side of her neck, small soft kisses, meant to soothe and highlight what they had both just experienced together. His mouth worked its way up her throat, kissing the indents of her half open mouth.

" You okay?" he whispered against the swollen flesh of her lip, nipping her sweetly as he asked.

Her mouth stretched into a languidly smile, her mind adrift to her actions. Her fingers fiddled with the plane of his cheek, signaling for him to stop, but not caring if he didn't.

" I'm good." She trembled beneath him, thrilled and shocked by the amount of stamina in him as he advanced on her, deepening the kiss in one thorough push of his tongue. She didn't fight him, didn't want to. He felt so good, so warm and big above her. She never wanted it to end.

" Jason." Her eyes closed as his teeth skimmed her bottom lip, suckling on the soft flesh. " Make love to me," she whispered against his mouth.

Instead of the eager willingness she predicted, Jason froze in place. Removing himself from her, he sat up for the first time, brushing his fingers through his messy hair.

She followed him, sitting up as well, climbing to her knees and reaching out to him even though all her soreness seemed to reenter her at that moment. "I...what's wrong?" she probed innocently, unaware of the war brewing inside him. " Tell me."

Head hung, he exhaled a frustrated breath, licking his lips before covering them with his hand as if he was trying to hold on to the feel of their kisses. He ran his fingers through his head again, his eyes burning with a mysterious quandary as he fixed a look at the fireplace than at her.

The flames of the fire behind her were mirrored in his eyes, shadows of his desire for her kindling but held at bay. " I can't," he replied tightly as if it was against his will. His eyes swept her again, torturing himself with the sight of her pliant aroused body.

He turned quickly, his slit stare falling on her as he said. " You have to know the whole truth."


	29. Chapter 29

" _Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." Jalal ad-Din Rumi _

Clutching the fabric of her shirt and hauling the neckline up in a semi self conscious move, Elizabeth ignored the warm measured stare she was receiving and strived to control some semblance. " The truth…the truth about what, Jason?"

His eyes were back on her mouth, aimed in sorrow and hunger, a combination that confused her and made her groan inside for him. For a tear drop of a second she wondered if he was going to kiss her again. His eyes held the same yearning, darkly enigmatic, but unreachably dedicated to her and only her.

Instead he got up, without reason, and scurried off to the kitchen in short confident strides. She watched, perplexed and dizzy with the acknowledgement of what had just happened between them. On this very floor.

The short absence allowed Elizabeth time to regain the little composure her frazzled nerves required, flattening her hair and lifting the scoop of her neckline. But the pillows scattered haphazardly around her, the light tingling on her skin from where he had kissed her and the wet ache between her legs refused to let her forget.

Not only had she kissed Jason, not only had he made her come…for the first time in her life. Twice. But she had begged him for more. Her want for him was so irrationally strong she was saying and doing things that were completely unlike her.

She wondered in that private second what he was thinking; if he would come back and act like nothing had happened or would his desire for her be as obvious and inescapable as hers. Second guessing herself, she played what had just transpired in her head and suddenly reality came crashing unforgivably down on her.

Would it change how he looked at her? Did they go back to their shaky friendship or did this alter things from here on? The amount of questions and how fast they slung out at her made the height of her insecurity pick up a notch.

There wasn't sufficient time to thoroughly delve into her doubts though because Jason was back, sitting in front of her, his bent knee touching hers. Just exactly like before, when all the insaneness started.

So she blocked it all out, concentrating on the small inconsequential things of the house; the large windows behind her, the fire that was beginning to wane next to her, anything but the very extreme male presence in the room.

Jason, hovering over, brought the tiny damp cloth from the kitchen and lifted it to her face.

Caught off guard and very aware of her present physical state, Elizabeth flinched, retreating a few inches from his paused hand in mid air.

" Your lip…I mean," he huskily amended with hesitance, the raw uncertainty in his voice made a thrill jump in her stomach to kiss him. " The cut on your lip is bleeding."

" Oh." Feeling silly, she swallowed, drawing close again. Jason cupped the edge of her jaw, lightly but with purposeful care. She gathered he was trying to be as informal as possible without provoking emotions to rise like they had before.

His wipe against her was so soft, she would have hardly felt it if not for the burn his touch always carried. She couldn't help but stare into his face as his concentration seemed to be otherwise occupied.

" Did I hurt you?" he murmured. " I didn't mean to be so…"

" No." She cut through, unable to stop from relishing in his newfound bashfulness. He was adorably gorgeous so shy. " No, Jason." she whispered, smiling. Her smile brought his thumb closer to the entrance of her mouth. They both seemed to notice at the same time.

It was funny. How a situation toyed with someone, made you feel things you were sure weren't real, simply repercussions to a remarkable moment. Because just hearing her speak his name, all sultry and unsure, the complete embodiment of who she was, made him hard

" I didn't mean for this…" he sought for the proper words, any words to keep him from surrendering to his insistent need for her. " This doesn't mean anything."

" Oh." Her face dropped along with her words. " Okay. I see."

" No." He added deeply, shaking his head and lifting her chin in one swoop. "I don't think you do."

Her chin began to wobble in his hands and she hated the powerful sting that paralyzed her lungs as she spoke. " Don't play games with me. Okay." she warned weakly. " I don't like it."

" I'm not." He was leaning his head towards hers but her eyes were stubbornly set down.

She yanked her chin out his hand and he let her. He didn't want to, but he understood that she needed space, air to think and breathe. He would give her whatever she wanted just as long as she didn't get up and leave. Not before he explained himself.

" Then what do you want from me?" her teary demand cut through. " Just tell me. I can take it. I think I can take anything right now."

After a long, agonizing minute of loud silence, he admitted, reluctantly, but awed." You confuse me."

" Welcome to the club." She tossed out dryly, wiping the bottom of her leaky nose.

He sighed, soberly amused, but too concentrated on her to give either emotion the attention it deserved.

Rummaging for strength and declaring on defense she said, " You're no better, you know that. You want me then you don't. You act like care and then you tell me it's just that, an act. Then when I think I'm nothing to you, nothing but some means to an end, you…you do this. What am I suppose to think?"

His breathing picked up, but he didn't respond.

His eyes held on to their one track befuddlement as he gazed unrelenting at her. He didn't appear to have heard her; he was caught up in something she couldn't see.

" I want to know," she asked despite her fear of the answer. " You asked me what I wanted. What about you, Jason. What do you want?"

" I-I.." His eyes blazed into hers, seized time and space and then let go.

Ripping through his hair in one frustrated sweep of fingers his answer came robotically. " My job is to protect you until this is over. I'm going to take care of you. Nothing's going to happen to you while you're here with me."

" That's it? That's all?"

" I can't… I don't ," When she went to stand, he grabbed at her wrist, sending her back to the floor and almost in his lap. " Elizabeth." His blue eyes captured hers in a stern glare that kept her pegged in place. " This isn't easy…there's a lot you don't know."

" Like?"

The way she was breathing, hard and raspy turned him on. Her chest, pale and snowy like the glistening surface of a mountain top, thumped up and down, so wildly, at such a laborious pace from the affects of what he had done to her. The small thought made him want to drag her back down to the floor and finish what they had started. Finish what he had mindlessly triggered.

But then Bruce Webber's face came screaming into his mind.

Elizabeth was still very uninformed when it came to her father's extra curricular activities regarding the Corinthos organization. Her father had put his family's life in jeopardy, her life at risk, and without forethought of how this would damage the rest of their lives.

The man had to be aware of the fact that his greed had been put ahead of the safety of his wife and children. What kind of selfish bastard did that with a clear conscience? In Jason's opinion the man deserved death and nothing less would be justifiable, but he wouldn't be the one to seek retribution. He couldn't be because of her. She didn't deserve that kind of suffering even if it meant keeping the scum alive.

Jason still couldn't stop the guilt from flooding him. Elizabeth seemed to have a strong connection to her father, more than the rest of her family. If she knew the truth his fear was that it would break her, send her over some edge he wasn't sure the limits of.

He was also afraid she'd hate him even more for lying to her yet again. How many times did the girl need to be hurt before it became too much to bear?

" You told me you wanted to tell me some truth. If this is about what happened now…I mean, I understand if it can't go anywhere…"

" It can't." He reiterated thickly. He licked his lips, his eyes straying low on her face, knowing he was making her bloom with embarrassment. " But that doesn't mean I don't want it to."

" I don't…" Her head leaned forward, pushed against her will. Driven by a force he pulled out of her. " I don't understand."

He confirmed in a low torturing mewl that mirrored the ache growing inside her. " I don't want this over."

The words brushed against her like hot fingertips cascading down her breasts, bending her restraint to the brink, drawing out her strength like a suction. " What do you want?" she whispered in a tremor.

Like gravity he was moving towards her, without conscious realization of his actions. " I can't promise you tomorrow. I'm going to be bringing you back to you're family soon. I told you once there's no future for us and there isn't it, but for the time that we're here…"

His delicate insinuation made her embarrassment hard to miss, with a blush as red as hers and her skin so vanilla. Elizabeth made herself ask " Yes…"

" I can't offer you anything, but right now, Elizabeth." His face pressed closer to hers, his attention riveted by her pretty widely defined eyes and plump naked mouth. " That's all I have to give."

" And then what?" Her eyes drifted closed as his nose bumped hers.

" Then we go back to our lives. You and your family will be safe and I'll-" he shrugged heftily.

" You'll go back to what you do." She finished, not hiding her misery at the uncompromising morbid outlook.

" Yea." He breathed against her cheek, feeling her quiver even though he was scarcely touching her.

Sighing full and hard, Elizabeth shook her head, pulling back from him as if to ward away the immensity of his power. When she drew away from the security of his warm body she planted him a soggy confused look and Jason knew, without words, that she was torn to shreds within.

" So you want to be with me. But just for now?"

Tentatively and with greater care than she had ever seen one move, Jason lightly skimmed the side of her bruised cheek; his fingers tracing the curve and dip of the shape.

" Now is all we have, Elizabeth."

" What if that's not enough for me. I deserve better. I want more." She fought, her frustration battling against the defeated air that slipped between the cracks.

The blue staring back at her crystallized, brilliant and undiluted. " You do," he cleared his throat, " but that's not something I can ever give you." Elizabeth could have sworn she saw tears shape and dissolve.

The begrudging statement of his next words came out strangled. " All I have is right now. If you want it. After this is over, you will find someone who can make that promise of forever. But that's not me."

" What do you want from me?" she challenged wearily.

Her breathing tumbled, staggering while his grew to an audible rasp. " You."

" Me…." Her voice faded dully, the residual lace of self doubt echoing between them.

" You." He repeated. " Just you." Somehow the distance between them evaporated, diminishing her grasp on what he had just said, making her lose ground as he neared her and overshadowed all her commonly good sense.

" I have nothing to ... I mean I don't know what you…"

" Let me be with you, help you." He scooped her face in between his hands. " Whatever you want…whatever you need…"

It all sounded too good to be true. The depth of his genuineness, the satiny promise of his words, and the urge to give in and crumble, lean on him without inhibition; all of it was spinning around in her brain at warp speed.

" Jason. I care about." She licked her lip, winced a bit at the sting it caused as she admitted, " Yea, I've been fighting it for a long time, but I do. I can't just be with you, let my guard down and then walk away. Pretend everything is normal. That's not me."

" I'm not asking you to pretend. I'm asking you to let me in." He found her hand lying over her knee. " For the little time we have, Elizabeth. Let me in."

" I can't…I have to think…" She stood and this time he didn't move to stop her. " I need some time…"

His tone was rich and thick in understanding as it washed over her. " Okay." He stood slowly, growing over her like the warm shade of a tree.

She backed away a few inches, head down, eyes filmed by her pervading thoughts then walked around him. He didn't like how off balance she seemed.

" Let me help you."

" No." She quickly countered, shaking him off with a dismal smile and turning back to watch where she was going " I'm okay." Her reassurance signaled her weak state further as she stepped into the kitchen, face to the side, a wall of tears in her eyes.

Helpless, all he could do was stand, hands curled into knotted fists at his sides, and watch her leave. " If you need anything…"

" I'm fine." She answered with a little more strength.

" Okay," he whispered to himself, closing his eyes when he heard the door shut. He still didn't believe her.

Ignoring her palpable absence and how it seemed to drain all the warmth from the room, Jason made himself look away from the direction she had just left in. He found his shirt next to his right foot at the corner of the couch and threw it carelessly over his head as he sat on the end seat.

Legs spread, elbows on knees and head in his hands, he begged himself to not to go there. Not to think about _it_ or her and the million mistakes he had just made.

It was an impossible task.

Everything about her made him want her. He glanced over his shoulder, picturing her large blue eyes and how magnified by confusion they were. Her swollen mouth rosily roughened by him and how he could still see the red tips of her nipples through her shirt.

Yeah, everything.

He looked down at the floor, prepared for the colossal weight of regret to come thrashing down on his shoulders.

Where Elizabeth was concerned, he truly did not understand what it was about her that made him go against every instinct, every survival skill that was ingrained in him. She certainly didn't say or do anything to situate her above the rest of the women he had been with.

Jason wasn't complicated when it came to his like and dislike list. He didn't like games. He didn't like talking. He did have a thing for brunettes. He usually liked his women tall, long legged and easily persuasive. No strings, no expectations. And he had had all that. Often.

It wasn't like he had deprived himself of the pleasure of women. No matter how demanding and inconspicuous his life was, Jason always made time for a night, maybe two, of extensive copulating activities. Every man had their needs and his were met. Eagerly.

He had found women naked and waiting sometimes in his room. He had been pulled over in an alley one time, but that, he guessed, was more from the excitement and adrenaline of the motorcycle ride he had provided.

The plethora of available ass and opportunity never depleted and yet he was being brought to his needs by this innocent naïve girl.

She was barely legal, barely knowledgeable of the kind of pleasure he gratified himself with but his thirst for her remained unquenchable. And she had absolutely no idea, thank god.

Maybe that, right there, was the pull. Her utter unawareness of how gorgeous she was. How her unpredictable personality which flew from timid to feisty in one hot second grabbed at him. How she was probably the first woman he had ever met who hadn't fallen over herself to get to him, who didn't care about who he was or what he did.

There was no show with her, no bravado. Her fluid naturalness was so refreshingly real it was hard to believe it was genuine sometimes. Especially in the world he came from.

Jason was used to living in the dark, drifting from one place to another, never connecting himself to one sentiment or person for too long. New York City might have been his literal home, but that place and any other, had never held the kind of warm attaching emotion the word necessitated.

No place ever had.

And Jason was always content with his wandering ways. He loved his job, his way of life. He didn't care if the rest of the world approved or not. He had always been happy with coming and going, answering to no one, and doing exactly as he pleased.

It wasn't like he had a family Broken home, mother dead, father left and never seen again. No siblings, no nothing. Sonny was the closet thing to her brother or father he had ever known and that connection had been satisfactory for him.

But Elizabeth was changing him. Stirring something inside him and he didn't know if he liked it.

Walking away was easy for him and he knew that when it had to be done with Elizabeth, he would. No looking back, no questions asked. But the pull, the want….that is what troubled him.

He had to walk away undetached or it would be as if he wasn't walking away at all. He needed to know he could leave her, do his job like he always had and not take her with him wherever he went. Otherwise, how was he supposed to go on. How was he supposed to live and breathe, be happy like before he met her, if the very thought of her weakened him. If he would always look back and wonder.

* * *

" Anthony. What's up man?"

Max found the junior guard standing post in front of Sonny's penthouse door. The sight made his brow flatten down. Sonny never stationed a guard so low in rank in front of his own locale. There was seniority, even in the mob.

Plus Anthony Winsomely had just joined the organization a couple of months ago and he was the biggest kiss ass around. He was good kid, definite potential for longevity in the outfit, but placing him here as Sonny's watch simply wasn't done no matter how much brown nosing Anthony did on off hours.

" Ritchie's taking a leak?" Max threw his coat over his forearm, scooting his gaze left and right. The hallway was eerily quiet.

" No. He's out. He left."

" Left?" Max nudged him aside, ready to open the door.

" Mr. Corinthos left too."

Turning, Max's words flew out, panic in place. " Left. Where? And why the hell wasn't I made aware of this."

Anthony, hiding his discomfort, shrugged, dumbfounded and guilty even though his expression was clueless. He wasn't used to seeing Max Giambetti's temper. The man was usually the soft spoken type. " They took a last minute trip. It wasn't scheduled or anything."

" Where?'

" Shit uh..someplace upstate. I think Port Charlotte? Or something."

" Port Charles?" Max's voice cracked against the strain of the news.

" Yeah, yeah that's it." Anthony grinned, proud he had remembered the information. He hoped Max had time to be a little bit impressed. " Port Charles."

* * *

The small pharmacy/drugstore was quaint, totally appropriate and expected for a small blip of a town located in the middle of nowhere in such a grand state as New York.

The store supplied everything from band aids to cheap wine. There were even school supplies and books, carrying products for all different areas of needs.

Whistling Sonny strolled down the aisle, his pace leisure. Ritchie shadowed him about ten steps back; his eyes following the handful of customers that came and went. Both men noticed the people that gapped and moved on quicker than necessary, their eyes widening and shifting away in one quick blink. Neither man was surprised or all that much affected by the standard typical reaction.

It was easy to guess why. Mr. Corinthos stuck out like a big fat sore thumb in his black dress coat and Italian shoes. His attire alone softly pronounced the presumption that his dress wear was merely an introduction to the superiority the man carried.

To the people that passed him on the street or in the store, Sonny Corinthos might have appeared cool, calm, and officially collected, but the mirage was present and set for a reason, belying his very traceable purpose. Ritchie saw it his ebony eyes when he announced out of thin air that he wanted to take a trip to Port Charles to make sure his operation up here was doing okay.

Ritchie knew he was lying. It was the possibility of why that scared the shit out of him.

Sonny had gone first to the house, the Webber house. The place had been vacant, strips of leftover police tap lay stranded on the lawn. It was easy to tell there had been a crime and the police had been in and out of the home more times than countable.

Sonny had walked about on the sidewalk, up and down over and over as if he was waiting for someone that never came. Finally a neighbor approached him, asking him if he was looking for someone in particular. Sonny informed the little old lady that he was family friend who was concerned when the Webbers weren't returning his calls. He had decided to take a trip up to see for himself that everything was okay. The neighbor, as if perfectly planned, recited the news Sonny had predicted, saying the family had been robbed and most likely killed.

On cue, Sonny acted sorrowful although not to the extent he would or should have after hearing such a horrific incident.

The elderly citizen had also gone on to divulge that the police had never found the bodies.

When asked where he could find out more information the neighbor had gratefully shared where the young man, Lucky Spenser, could be found and that he would be happy to help in any way he could. He was, after all, a close, life long friend of the family.

Which led them here, to the small square, one room store.

Dangling a hand in the air, Sonny pushed the small display of air fresheners aside and cleared his throat, loudly enough to inject his presence but not overtly rude.

The man behind the counter was bent over, stacking the cartridges of double AA batteries one by one, huffing out bits of lyrics to the barely perceptible radio next to him. Just when Sonny thought the kid hadn't heard him, the young man grumbled under his breath, not halting in his actions or facing to greet the new customer.

" Give me a minute. I'll be right with you."

Sonny smiled. Not because he was obliging the kid's rudeness. In fact, it was the very opposite. If one really looked they could see the tightness and malicious in every line of his upturned mouth. No one talked to him like that, whether they knew who he was or not.

" I need assistance. Now." There was no room for negotiation in his tone.

Unable to ignore the customer's blunt annoyance, Lucky turned, swiping his forehead with the back of his hand then cutting his fingers through his messy mane. His eyes never lifted as he said, " What can I do for you?"

" Hopefully a lot." Sonny smirked, tearing down the thin walls of the boy in front of him and sizing him up in one glance.

Lucky's green blue eyes darted from the man to the register than back again. The transparency of his reaction amused Sonny, but not enough to keep the sharpness out his question. " I was wondering if you could give me some information. Regarding a Mr. Bruce Webber."

Lucky failed at hiding the suspicion that crept in his eyes and shoulders. " Who wants to know?"

" Me." Sonny's hard glare had Lucky shrinking back in place. " I was a friend of the family. I heard they've been missing for some time now."

Lucky's stare traveled the length of the man's suit, inspecting and curious like he'd never witnessed a well dressed man before. " Yeah, awful. I'm sorry I didn't get your name."

" That's cause I didn't give it."

" How do you know the Webbers?"

" Me and Bruce, we were friends. Close friends."

" Oh." Lucky didn't attempt to mask his incredulity. " So, what do you want to know. I mean I probably know as much as you."

" They were robbed right?" Sonny leaned forward, placing his elbow on the counter and staring directly at Lucky like he was salivating for an answer.

" Supposedly. I dunno." Lucky hesitated a bit, shuffling his feet, contemplating his next words, but speaking before thinking better of it. " Elizabeth, Bruce's daughter, we were pretty tight and then she got mixed up with this guy. He was bad news. Anyway, I think he might have had something to do with it. He was there the morning it happened."

" Really. You knew him?"

" Not really, but from what I saw of him he was a real punk. Elizabeth deserved better. She was a good friend. I just wanted her to be okay. I mean that's why I called the cops."

Lucky missed Sonny's shoulders stiffen under his ultra expensive dress coat. " Really," he drawled out slowly.

" Yeah. I saw him there. I knew he was nothing but trouble. Her father didn't approve so I did what I thought was right, you know? And I guess I was because that bastard did something to them. I don't know if they're dead or not, but he had something to do with they're disappearance."

Sonny twisted his head to the side, eyeing Ritchie who pacing the front aisles and completely out of ear shot." Cops find any leads?"

" No. Trail never even got warm. It's almost like they vanished into thin air." Lucky shook his head, his mind stuck on pause as he recalled the cold hard reality. " I wished I could have killed that bastard when I had the chance."

Sonny quirked a brow, feigning interest. The man opposite was completely unaware of the blood simmering at a steady tempo under the reserved exterior of the inquisitive stranger.

" Yeah, he beat me up. Almost broke my nose. Piece of shit told me to stay away from her like he was her fucking keeper. I tell ya, you think you know people and they totally blindside you. Elizabeth…I never would have thought she'd go for some degenerate like that."

Sonny shrugged, lifting his hand up in a gesture that told him he understood the man. " Proves you can never really trust people. No one really is who they say they are."

" Yeah I guess so." Lucky mumbled ponderingly. " Listen I'm sorry…I mean you must have been close to them."

" Yeah, well. It's a tragic thing." Sonny straightened, extending his hand out to the man. " Thank you for your time. I appreciate it."

" No problem." Lucky shook the offered hand. " If the cops find anything…is there any way I can get in touch with you?"

" Oh I'll find you if I need to ," Sonny cut through smoothly. " If I need information I know where to turn. Thanks.

Something about the deliberant way the man carried himself and his words disturbed Lucky. But he chalked it up to coming from a small town. City folk didn't just walk and talk different. Their thinking stemmed from a whole other planet. He watched the man walk out, strut down the aisle and open the door without bothering to look either way for crossing pedestrians.

Yeah city folks thought who the hell they were, alright.

* * *

The limo was silent and dark as they drove past the store and back out onto the main road. Ritchie adjusted his tie, then his seating as he stared out the limo window, looking but not really seeing. He could feel Sonny's eyes on him, black and wary as they fell over him in a dissecting manner. For the past several minutes Ritchie had tried everything but ripping his own arm off to stop from squirming or god for bid asking his boss if something was wrong. He had a guaranteed guess he would know the answer.

Sweat broke out on the top of his forehead. He could feel it slide down his back and over the slope of his palms. The past thirty seconds he had been pinching the inside of his knee not to crack. Something was wrong.

Ritchie sensed something had been off ever since they walked out of the tiny store. Sonny appeared colder, more remote, the wheels in his head stopping only to evaluate and land on him.

" So, where do you think we should go now?"

Ritchie tried to get his mouth to work, but his throat was dry as the words climbed for exit. " Wherever you want boss. You said you wanted to check around. If we're done..."

" You know you need to attain better listening skills. Maybe Jason can teach you a lesson or something. He hears, he doesn't speak unless it's absolutely required of him. Jason trusts me. I trust him. In fact," Sonny breathed out, " There's nothing he wouldn't do for me."

Ritchie wasn't sure what Sonny wanted him to say. Nothing would satisfy the man from continuing his berating marathon with him so he prolonged the silence that he thought Sonny was seeking.

" I mean look how far he went. Killed that girl…what was her name again?" He pretended to wait and remember. " Elizabeth, right. Yeah, Elizabeth. He killed her just because I asked him to. Now that's…that's loyalty right there. Who does that?"

Ritchie shook his head, stifling the spasm of nausea the arrived in his stomach.

" Must been hard for him. I know he doesn't talk about it, but you were there, you saw it. Did he hesitate? Jason's not big on hesitating. I mean, come on, now. She was just a girl, but it had to bother him a little. You guys got it done smoothly, right? One, two three? No problems?"

Gulping Ritchie turned. " Yeah boss. Just like I told you."

" So there were no problems?"

" No sir."

" Good. Good. That's what I like to hear." Sonny nodded.

"Should I tell the driver to bring us back to the jet?" Ritchie hit the button, sending the glass barrier in the limo down.

" No. I'm not ready to go home yet."

Ritchie paused in place. " Okay, where to?"

Sonny smirked, but it didn't reach the deadness that had entered his eyes. " Corinthos & Morgan. Should be interesting… to talk to everyone. Besides, I wanna see how they've all been doing since the great Mr. Webber disappeared.."


	30. Chapter 30

_You change your life by changing your heart. Unknown_

She had been staring out the same window for some time now; longer than he'd ever seen someone sit in one place for so long.

She moved but it was only in the barest of ways, imperceptible to the naked eye if one wasn't paying attention, but he was.

Shamelessly.

He didn't hide behind the door or any wall he could find. Jason refused to apologize for his compulsion to make sure she was alright. He was there to take care of her, provide a comfortable stay no matter how unconventional the circumstances. Plus, he wanted to. He kept telling himself it was his job- the impulse to check on her, ask questions, manage the situation to the best degree- but in reality, he didn't need a reminder.

Wanting to care for her, protect her, eased him; lifted some weight off his shoulders that held absolutely no connection to his duty. Watching over her was becoming a more natural habit; his heart and mind were still having trouble coming to terms with. Habits were something he never formed. In the end they were dangerous, big fat neon signs that arrowed straight in the direction where secrets lied.

And here he was. Going. Willing. Something he didn't do and never did for anyone.

But this was temporary. He wasn't naïve to believe that caring for her wouldn't always be a burden like a lead weight tied to his heart. But he could ignore it, he would. Sonny had once told him that Jason had more control, more self restraint than any man he'd ever met. He was tested in the past, at least tested according to his job, but this here, was the hardest trial he knew he'd ever have to face. His own personal Mount Everest.

Sighing harsh against the cupped hand that he had covered his mouth with, Jason leaned against the end of the counter.

Elizabeth stirred from sitting Indian style on the floor and untangled her legs from their twisted position, leaning her elbows onto her straightened knees.

Since last night they hadn't spoken. Not on purpose. She had nothing to say and he didn't want to push. When she had finally woken a little past noon she had walked around him in the kitchen, pretending like he wasn't even there. He eyed her under his canopied brow and instantly disliked what he saw. She still looked worn out and in desperate need of relaxation. The blackish blue under her eyes was more pronounced, her skin was paler, translucent, like the shell of a light bulb.

Not comfortable with feeling bound and helpless, Jason had to put a stop to this. She was hurting herself and driving him nuts in the process.

What else could he do or say to get her blood flowing, make her come alive like she had last night.

The thought made the blood drain from his face, course lower and awaken rivulets of sensations that weren't acceptable at this specific time. When he was supposed to be worrying about her well being.

Clawing for a distraction, Jason swallowed hard, hoping he wouldn't get caught in the under toe she, and the memory of her, blindsided him with.

So he cleared his throat. Rougher and louder than was necessary.

Her head bobbed to the side, her fingers dangling across her cheek before wrapping around her body to touch her shoulder. She leaned her chin against the wrist of her arm but didn't turn fully.

" Hey." She was the first to break the hour's long silence.

His foot hovered over the small step then fell, his eyes burning perceptively into her back as he deeply let out his one word greeting. " Hi."

Silence fell, deeper, more probing and invasive than any conversation could achieve. Maybe Bruce Webber and the rest of his family might have been purposefully daft to their daughter's personality, but Jason didn't have to ask to know what was going on in her overworked head.

Her thinking, her thoughts now, were louder than any shouting or cries he had witnessed from her. Elizabeth had spent most of her life hiding the way she really felt, who she really was, and they had let her. Maybe they weren't looking for it or maybe they just didn't care enough to try and see her pain, but Jason saw it all. It was wreaking havoc on him, made him feel like his skin were on a rack and being stretched without mercy.

" I don't want to bother you, but…"

" You're not," she submitted softly, twisting to show him her smiling profile. Her smile was barely visible, but it crinkled her nose and pinched her eyes and that was sufficient enough to relieve some of the pressure in his gut.

" How are you?" He didn't mean for the question to come off so serious, but for his sanity it was mandatory he be informed before he could go on.

" I'm okay." Her tone was unconvincing, but then again, she sounded too tired to try.

" You look tired." He noted reflectively.

She chuckled, her shoulders shuddering against the wall of brown waves that poured down her back. " You know you're going to give me a complex."

" That's not what I meant." He interjected serious, but his voice was butter soft as he washed his gaze down over her profile and up again. " I just…you should rest."

" I think I'm resting too much." She added, glancing back out at the window. " I like to keep my mind busy so I don't have time to rest. Resting means standing still and standing still makes me think and it's the thinking that wears me out more than anything."

" Don't think then."

She chuckled again, hardier, giving her profile a robust sheen that was lit from within. " Easy for you to say."

" Why?" he asked, childishly curious.

She heard him come stand beside her, far away enough so they couldn't touch even accidentally, but close where the conversation felt as private and intimate as a secret.

Ignoring the way her body announced his presence by cranking up in heat like a rusty heater Elizabeth went on. " Because you're a guy. Or maybe it's just you. I dunno. Either way you're a doer. You don't second guess yourself, you just jump right in do whatever you're doing. Me? I'm the exact opposite. I'm a dreamer. I think about doing a million different things, going everywhere, but I always end up staying in the same exact place…till now."

Jason sat on the floor, didn't move closer. He was gazing out the window when she turned his way. He looked lost. " If you want something bad enough, you make it happen."

Her eyes hit the floor just as his rounded towards hers. She didn't mean to but she huffed dejectedly at him." You believe that?"

When her stare bobbed up his way, he cornered her in place. " You don't."

" No, I mean some things, yeah," she corrected, " Like I wanted to go away to school and my parents wanted me to stay and go to PCU. I didn't care though. I wanted to go away so badly, I persuaded them until they finally gave in. Some things are attainable…others…no. I guess you just gotta pick and choose what you can and can't have."

" How do you know which to choose?"

" The risks," she answered simply. "The bigger the risk the bigger the chance of getting hurt, or being disappointed."

His attention was back out the window, but his eyes had found some other place to feed his thoughts off of. " But if you live your life always wondering, that's not much of a difference. Yeah you're safe, but you're still hurting. It's just a different hurt."

" Have you ever risked anything?"

" Everyday."

The plane of her cheeks under her eyes grew warm as her next question spilled from her mouth without consideration. " I mean emotionally…for a loved one, someone you care for…have you ever…" Looking back at her, he landed his gaze on her, the impact sending her mute.

Which was immediately followed by the embarrassing burn in her cheeks as her foolish question hung between them, but his stare wouldn't let her look away, keeping her imprisoned as he replied. " Once."

" Oh." The stark truthfulness of his admission prompted her mouth. " I'm sorry."

" For what?"

" Because I'm a…," she sought furiously for the right words, but came up empty, "…complication. And don't try to deny it. You and I know your life wouldn't be in danger. You wouldn't have to be up here if it weren't for me."

She watched as he dug through her statement, but his reply was as simple and to the point as he was. " I did what I thought was right."

She shook her head at him, sending out a clear signal that his answer didn't ease her.

He turned his body slightly her way, waited with the patience of a saint until she looked at him. His tone was as direct as the sharp blue of his eyes." You're not a complication. That's not how I see you."

" Okay." Her tone ready to halt from the avenue this conversation was leading down.

" Besides I was the complication first. Remember I was the one who barreled into your life. You risked a lot for me. I don't think you will ever realize how much."

Dismissing him with a short tight smile, she waved her hand at him." Anyone would have helped a man bleeding to death…it was instinct, that's all."

" You never let up on yourself. You helped me," he declared, his honesty was raw, making his voice deepen and roll like a wave. " I'd be dead without you. Period."

" Is that an unconventional thank you?"

He smirked at her, his eyes glittering against the rays of sun that streamed against his face." I guess so."

Her insides bunched together. She made herself turn from him. " You never do anything by the book. Do you?"

" Not if I can help it." He murmured transfixed on her receding profile, acutely aware of her withdrawal. " You do everything by the book."

" Except around you." She whispered under her breath.

" Yeah I noticed." He hadn't looked away. She sensed he never would, it felt like a small eternity. " I bring out the best in you I see."

His tone was light but intensely provocative in its need to draw her out. She remained unbreakably serious. " Some might say the worst."

" I don't care what other people think."

Licking her lips, she braved herself for his face, but as usual she never felt quite prepared for his ruffled handsomeness. " I wish some of you would rub off on me."

The innocence of her statement didn't provide any shelter from the sealed awareness that fell and suspended over them. A tightness, thick and harsh, beat up and down over her body. Jason seemed to relish in it. Elizabeth was busy stumbling to push it away.

" Really." His stare, the longer it dwelled on her, progressively climbed in intensity, puncturing her heart when he softly let out, " I wouldn't change a thing."

Her breathing mimicked the rapid growth of his. " Yeah, well, give it a week. My sister says I'm a horrible roommate." She made a weak attempt at laughter, but it came out strangled and choked against the strain of his impactful glare.

The deafening quiet became almost paralytic, cutting off all normal motor activity. Her legs and arms felt pinned in place by some invisible force. She wanted to move but couldn't. She needed to say something, anything, but nothing was functioning on a high enough level to work properly.

She stumbled up to a standing position, bringing her hand up to lean against the wall-sized windows, but she was too far away. " I should…I'm going to take a walk…"

" Wait."

The one word, hushed and growled, stopped her excuse mid throat.

He stepped over to her. It only took a few steps which gave her little time to prepare herself for his nearness, but when she saw, for the first time, the hesitancy fumbling around him, it lent her a little more boldness.

He grabbed for something in his back pocket, turned it over in his hand a couple of times. His hand was so large and whatever he was holding was so small it took her several seconds to see it was a cell phone. She gathered his.

" Here." He reached for her hand and she let him, cupping the back, the heat of his palms scorching her knuckles under his touch.

She looked at him; the question she was asking in her rounded dark baby blues.

Fighting the liquefying soulful quality that always yanked at him when she stared up at him, all open and soft, Jason explained, clearing his throat from the muddiness of his emotion.

" I'm going to press send. When the man on the other end picks up, tell him who you are and he'll give the phone to your father."

" My father…you mean I can talk to him…"

" Yeah. Not long, this is an untraceable phone. I'm dumping it once everything is over, but I don't want to take any chances. Five minutes tops."

" Jason…I…" Scarce for words, her head shook from side to side, mesmerized in disbelief. " Thank you," she gently let out. The statement fell very short of her gratitude.

He released her hand and backed away, but his eyes never let go of her. The tiny lift of the corner of his mouth tilted, pleased. " You're welcome."

He moved out of the room slowly and she watched him leave, wondering how he had such a talent for making her speechless.

* * *

When he had announced his plans to visit a branch of his own establishment, Sonny wasn't quite positive what kind of reaction he would get from Ritchie.

He expected panic, maybe slight worry, but he was working overtime to cover the anxiety that seem to personify the man in general. The last couple of days it was worse that ever. Ritchie's usual accompanying nerves were charged, live wires of energy about to blow.

He was hiding something. A disabled person with minimal social skills could read that from him, but what…that was what Sonny was digging for.

Instead of going to Corinthos and Morgan warehouse as planned, Sonny had decided to elongate the torture a step further, draw Ritchie's panic out like poison to a snake bite.

He had to have patience which he was running short on. When matters of betrayal became distinctly apparent to him, Sonny's automatic response would be swift and brutal retaliation, but that also meant letting the bastard off easy which, in the end, was less pleasurable for him.

But here he stood, at the entrance of his own warehouse cum office, people working in tow with one another, completely unaware that the man whose name hung above their place of work was indeed present and alert to their daily activities.

He dawdled through the small cubicles, smiling at distant faces, never zeroing in a one person in particular. His aim was focused on one person, the one person who held the key to all this.

" Betty," Sonny greeted from a few feet away. His smile was energetically refreshed and the man appeared genuinely happy to see the elderly secretary working hard at the desk that bordered Mr. Webber's office.

Her head turned up, unfocused at first than brimmed with precise affection. Mr. Corinthos had always been a fine and generous man. As long as she didn't fester in the fact that he intimidated her a bit, she had no complaints with him as a boss.

" Mr. Corinthos. So nice to see you." She took off her reading glasses and let them dangle from the thread around her neck as they dropped to her chest. Her hands fell away from the keyboard and she folded them in her lap, waiting with a patient open smile. " What a pleasant surprise, two visits in a matter of weeks."

" Yeah, well," Sonny shrugged, " When one of your employees go missing. I figured I'd see for myself…that everyone else was okay."

Betty's gray eyes dimmed like soggy rain clouds. The tinted tangerine lip gloss on her mouth spreading in a sad, sympathetic smile. " Yes. It's horrible. Poor family. The police haven't found anything…so tragic."

Sonny nodded, his empathy linking with hers. " Yeah. It must be hard. For you especially since you were so close. I mean you guys worked together for, what, fifteen years or something."

Clearing her throat, Betty shifted forward in her seat, uncomfortable with the insidious glare of the man over her. " Twelve, actually."

" I wonder what could have happened. I mean everything seemed alright…nothing out of the ordinary with him and his family, right?"

" No. As far as I know, everything was fine. Bruce was a quiet man, dedicated to his job. The police say it was a robbery went wrong from the looks of things." Betty scrambled, a nervous squeak embedded in her explanation.

Sonny leaned closer, placing his forearm on the top of her monitor, screening their conversation to utter privacy. " You sure there was nothing going on…I mean Bruce never talked to you?"

" No sir." Her face was aimed forward, her shoulders squaring as she answered.

" So the last time you talked to him was at work, the Friday before?"

" Yes."

" Hm. That's funny." Sonny commented, his stare trapping hers as continued. His questions were delivered with a buoyant curiosity that would have unfazed any normal unsuspecting person, but Betty knew better. " I pulled Bruce's phone records…out of concern of course…and the last person he talked to that day was you. It states that you called him that morning. Did you?"

Betty didn't look like the sweating type, but her upper lip broke out, drips of perspiration clinging to her. " Oh yes…I forgot." Her chin wobbled, her hand came up to steady it. " Yes that was such a short conversation I forgot about it."

" Of course…can I ask what you talked about. I mean it might help the situation." He added obligingly, breaking his stance to lean his weight on the other foot and to the back of her chair. " My men are doing everything they can right now and any lead we can get…"

" Oh, um…I had forgotten to cross reference the numbers he had asked me to check and I wanted to make sure it wasn't urgent so I called his house. Mr. Webber had said it was fine and to just do it on Monday. That was it." She shrugged, looking his way with a finality in her eyes.

" Good. Good." Sonny nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Thank you Betty." Sonny grinned, but it didn't spread far enough to even indent the dimple on his cheek. " Your loyalty and honesty are greatly appreciated. Don't think I'll forget that."

* * *

Max had pressed redial for the last ten minutes as he walked the hallway of his small apartment in the upper east side of Manhattan for the hundredth time. He only wanted to hear one sound, that was it and he'd be fine.

One fucking sound and that was ringing of his cell phone.

But he had been trying to reach Ritchie since yesterday he had had no luck at all.

He was wearing a hole in his pocket and he was positive that at last ten ulcers had formed somewhere in his stomach. He had been drinking Mylanta straight from the bottle. He wanted to call Jason, he knew he probably should, but Jason had said not to contact him unless it was an emergency. Otherwise he'd call. This, technically, wasn't an emergency, yet.

Jason didn't do hysterics, especially over something that _might_ be wrong. And he was sure his boss would just hang up on him if he did pick up and hear Max shrieking like a little girl with her bloomers on fire.

Pausing, Max froze when the phone in his hand vibrated. Thinking maybe it was his delusional imagination running the show because he was just that desperate, he waited a beat and then the ring shrilled and ate up the silence of his living room.

Gulping, Max flipped the top up, almost sending the plastic off its hinges. " Dude, where the hell are you?"

" I can't talk." Ritchie mumbled. " Port Charles. Mr. Corinthos is going to be out any minute."

" Oh man," Max grumbled anxiously, his voice pitching higher than even he thought was possible. " What the hell are you doing there. Anthony told me-"

" Forget about Anthony." Ritchie dismissed calmly, out of sorts from the role reversal. Usually Max was talking him off the ledges. " We'll be home tonight."

" What's going on man?" Max begged, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he began to pace again.

" I dunno. But it doesn't look good."

Max stopped dead in his tracks." You think he knows?"

Hearing Ritchie's baffled sigh followed by his take on everything didn't soothe Max's worry.

"Honestly I have no fucking clue."

Running a hand through his jet black mop, Max conceded, feeling there was no other option." Maybe I should call Jason."

" No, no. He said not to panic." Ritchie whispered, his own voice betraying his advice. " If Jason comes back now it will look off. Plus what could he do. Let Sonny look suspicious, we left no trail."

" Yeah, but Ritchie-"

Ritchie cut Max's counter argument off. " I gotta go."

And then the line went dead. Max eyed the device in his hand. He was hoping that after talking to Ritchie he would have felt more relieved, but if anything the crippling in his stomach worsened, punching his gut. He was going to need a much bigger bottle of Mylanta to get through this night.

* * *

" Dad."

She heard his intake of breath, followed by quick relief. " Pumpkin."

It was odd hearing his voice, knowing she hadn't seen her own father in weeks, picturing if he looked different as he talked to her. The trail of thoughts made her throat cramp." Are you okay?"

" Yeah, sweetie." His reassurance rang earnest to her ears. Hopefully she wasn't so desperate she was just hearings things she wanted to. " I'm fine. How are you?"

Seeking for the correct answer, one that would ease his mind Elizabeth came to the conclusion that nothing she said would bring her father close to any sort of comfort until he saw her with his own eyes. " I'm okay. I'm good. Jason has been…everything is fine," she stuttered. " How are they treating you over there?"

" It's…you're mother is complaining, but other than that, we're just restless." He laughed at a normality that under normal circumstances would have him running for his study. " We miss you. Tommy really misses you."

" He's okay? Do you think he realizes what's going on?" She bent her head, leaning her elbows onto the kitchen counter.

" No. I honestly don't pumpkin, but he's a little," He hesitated, "…I think he knows you're gone."

" It feels so weird," she whispered, seeing her brother's chubby face peering up at her. Tears automatically pooled over her lower lids. " I mean hearing about him and not being there."

" Yeah. I know. The guards here said it's only going to be a little while longer."

" Yea." Elizabeth replied, misery clogging her vocal chords.

" Mr. Morgan…has he mistreated you?" His tone did a sharp one eighty, turning parental and guarded. " Has he done anything to-"

" No dad. He's been…honestly he's been wonderful. I know that's hard to believe."

" It is." Mr. Webber didn't mask his disbelief, but he didn't want to fight either. With the little time they had. " I don't know Mr. Morgan well. I only met the man once and I didn't even know it was him. He was introduced as Mr. Corinthos' personal bodyguard at some party and that's it."

" He's not what people think he is."

" Elizabeth."

" I mean he is," she corrected, " but there's a lot more to him…he's a good person."

" As long as he's bringing you back to us, that's all I care about," he resigned. The time for such talk would come later.

" He will." The certainty in her voice made even her sit up and notice.

" Guards giving me the signal to get off."

" Dad," the lump in her throat inflated, blocking her already tensed breaths. "…I love you."

She could see him in her mind smiling on the other end of the phone." You too sweetie."

" Tell everyone I love and miss them…"

" I will pumpkin. See you soon." His voice was gone, disappearing just as quick and out of nowhere as it has appeared. Like an apparition of her making.

" Yeah, soon." She answered to the air around her.

Clicking the flap shut, she fisted the phone in her hand, the first of her tears falling in out of sync drops against both her cheeks. Repeating her words, she whispered into the dimly lit room, " Soon." And then her face fell forward into her awaiting hands that were cupped like an offering over the counter.

Her cries came unhindered and she was a little alarmed by how much the tears racked through her body. Her shoulders bounced uncontrollably, the burning tightness in her stomach spread, making her feel acutely numb but at the same time sensitive to all that her body was forcing her to experience.

Elizabeth tried her hardest to remain as quiet possible, muffling the involuntary anguished moans. She missed her family so much…everything was spinning inside her. The emotion, the heartache, tore at her.

It took her several seconds before she realized Jason was behind her, touching her. The heel of his palm, hard but soothing, was working its way up and down her back. Not wanting to but unable to stop herself, she froze, her defenses highly up and sensitive.

She wiped her wet nose then her cheeks roughly. Apologizing before she had even turned.

" I'm sorry…I didn't mean to disturb whatever you were doing…"

" You weren't." He interjected softly, brushing the veil of hair so he could see her face. " Hey."

When her head remained down, he came closer, twisting the seat so that she was completely in front of him. " I was just upset...I mean, its no big deal."

" Stop."

Her eyes, soaked in riotous pain, peered up at him. " What?"

His skimmed his tan thumb down the side of her forehead to her cheek, resting comfortably on the edge of her chin. Pale but somehow flushed she was painfully beautiful and his breathing and thinking shortened out on him. " Stop pretending you're not hurt."

Nodding in compliance, an act resulting simply from his hand on her, she opened her mouth and spoke. " I'm okay."

" I don't believe you." His other hand came up, cupping her shoulder. Jason's expression mirrored her own, lost but peacefully hungry in that state.

" Sorry." Her tongue swept across her lower lip, the flesh begging for moisture from the cold.

Unable to stop himself from venturing down, Jason's gaze strayed lowered, shadowing in a haze of distant want. " Don't be sorry."

Elizabeth's effort to keep her head straight from swimming was halfhearted. " It was just hard hearing his voice…it just brought back all this pent up…stuff."

" I promise it will be over soon."

The promise subsided the storm of emotion inside her, pressing it down until nothing was left but a whisper." I know."

" I'm sorry."

The magnitude of his stare brought her to the edge of her seat. She leaned closer, her forehead grazing his. " Don't be. You saved our lives."

His eyes smiled down, twinkling like stars over a velvet moonlight" That's not what you said before."

She couldn't smile, couldn't even breathe to make herself think. All she understood at that moment was that the pain inside her had vanished, replaced by something nonsensically violent, overpowering, plowing everything else aside. " Things change."

The whirlwind sweeping through her reflected in his stare, overtaking him like he was as much a victim to the magnetic pull between them as she was. " Yeah. I know."

" Jason," she breathed in a warning, not sure who she was speaking to.

The back of his knuckles slowly traced across the span of cashmere flesh, each knuckle rough and weathered ignited a flame underneath in its leave. " Yes."

" Can you…" Her full mouth opened then shut, " I mean would please…"

" Elizabeth-" His eyes closed and his other hand tightened over her chin.

" Kiss me." She pleaded, already arching her back and leaning up to meet him. " Make me forget."

The same exact dark desire that was swelling inside him echoed in her words, rushing at him, intoxicatingly lethargic, causing his eyes to droop and his body to given in. Helpless against her power he kissed her, long soft and deep. He kissed her with care, with unleashed recklessness. Discovering and frantic, their gasps mounted over one another, each one more stunned and destroyed than the next.

Wrapping his arms around her whole back, Jason lifted her off the seat and her legs locked around his torso. Their kisses never breaking, never retiring from their starving pace of need as they fed off one another, got so lost and so tangled that somewhere along the way, without their knowledge, they had found themselves in one another.


	31. Chapter 31

_Extremes, though contrary, have the like effects. Extreme heat kills, and so extreme cold: extreme love breeds satiety, and so extreme hatred; and too violent rigor tempts chastity, as does too much license. George Chapman_

She understood now.

Her whole life had been a prelude to this moment. Wrapped up so tight in the warm safety of arms and legs, breath and hands, small figments and fragments that all pieced together, Elizabeth had freed herself from rational thinking.

It was always in those quiet rumbling seconds where he first touched her that always sent her excuses away, never to be seen again. Now, she reveled in their departure; happy, for once, that her brain had ceased from its rampant upheaval, easing her soul and letting her banquet in the glory of this fanciful- like dream.

It was raining outside. It had been for two days. But neither of them had noticed. Neither of them had cared to even step foot out of the sweet enclosed space of the living room.

Life and time had come to a stop, obliging their need to just be. Damning their futures, the inevitable breaking of their hearts, they pretended nothing else existed but this enclosed break of time. This was their life, right in this second of kissing and hot murmurs. Everything else could wait.

They were lying on the couch, Jason over her, into her; his body, his skin, a patchwork of his and her flesh.

Jason kissed her; hard, deeper, ordering for further access that Elizabeth wasn't sure was possible to give. Elizabeth remained shaky under him, still unused to his large male form and how his vast presence compromised all her goodness.

Jason's hand dashed out, cupped her head that was laying on the pillow behind her and drew her to him, crushing her face to his, suspending her face and his in midair, like they were frozen together, locked in that sensation and moment.

His enduring need for her seemed never ending. Nothing was able to satisfy or sedate it. And the past two days of kissing, intimate touches, whispered heat only broke for food and minor necessitates. Otherwise Jason had become her world, filling her vision, the start and stop of every thought. It scared her, excited her. It shook her to the very root of her soul.

Her moan turned urgent. " Jason." His mouth was greedy as it delved, sinking into her with open kisses that sucked the breath from her lungs, sending her back down to the couch and taking him with her.

Her whole body flowered open, inviting him in. Her legs trapped around his, the heels of her feet digging into the back of his knees. His hands were frustrated as they indecisively moved between her face and body, going back and forth and deciding that both felt too good to choose.

Her head shifted from the side, facing him, taking his mouth in hers. The tip her tongue traced the outlining of his bottom lip then the open space of his mouth, lapping out in a roll that called for him but found empty. She stretched up further, gliding her tongue across the bottom row of teeth then the top, waiting for him to meet her blatant proposal.

She felt his body hold off a bit, linger as he watched the begging state of her body as it groaned up. Being servant to his will her fingernails buried themselves into his scalp and the back of his neck. Elizabeth was half-crazed, her brain mingled desire and edginess.

Patiently with intentional exaggeration his tongue, coarse and slick, found hers, conquered hers down from her fumbled pause into her mouth and drank from her. First in slow soft but forcefully arrogant strokes that heightened the sensations in her to the point of total submission; until all she felt was the wetness between her legs, the shake of her shoulders and the brush of fiery wings low in her belly.

His right hand slowly drifted down, molding her breast; the mass of his hand swallowing the round jiggling flesh. The pad of his thumb had landed right on her nipple, but he didn't skim the aching bud, just stayed planted there, waiting, burning a hole with the weight of his finger as Elizabeth arched her back and moaned into his mouth.

He squeezed, possessively, relishing in the round weight of her, afraid of the unbearable compulsion that imprinted itself on him and drove him over some bounded place he wasn't supposed to go.

Instead of continuing in his taunting clutches, his hand, in mutiny against his self control skated down, the weathered tips of his fingers brushing across her stomach like a rocket of fire before continuing the journey down and unbuttoning her jeans in one quick jot.

Awaiting and careful his hand glided across her stomach, setting the touch of him on her skin in its place. His fingers slipped between the crease of her jeans, in and out, touch and go, breezing like electric feathers over her body. She bit her lip and Jason looked down, entranced, like a spectator, darkly curious how are face would look like if he was inside of her, embedded so deep she'd be sweating and gasping under him.

" Jason," she whimpered in her throat. " Please."

The diving exploration of his kiss froze and broke mid action. Jason didn't move, didn't back away like Elizabeth expected. He remained just as close as if he was kissing her, but he wasn't. His breathing was destroyed and ragged as it fell across her still open mouth.

Her v-shaped brow corresponded her confusion.

" Jason." She licked her lips, making him groan as his forehead leaned into hers.

His eyes closed, hers stayed open, watching his confliction openly. The battle within shaded his color in an exerting red, his skin rippling against the strain of need for her. Her hand came up, sheltering his cheek with it, wanting to comfort him, but not knowing what it would take to release him of his commitment to maintain a certain distance between them.

" Hey." She kissed the corner of his mouth. " It's okay."

His head waved, dismissing her sentiment and the unconscious incitement that was carried beneath it. " You don't know what you're saying."

" Yes. I do."

She sounded so sure. As ready for him as he was for her. He had been ready, waiting for her, wanting her. His body seemed to be stuck on her, craving the taste and feel of Elizabeth and her only.

Jason didn't know when it had happened, when she had gone from being some young girl in some attic to the central consuming object of his desire. It definitely started in the attic. He was attracted to her, but he was attracted to many women. She was universally pretty, but for some oddity unknown to him, she had become his own personal embodiment of everything he lusted for. He didn't want to want her, but, for this short time, he refused to fight and just let himself be. Let them be. But sill something stopped in from going all the way.

" Elizabeth…I wont do this." His swollen mouth lingering over hers, somehow got the words out. " I can't."

" Why? I want to." Elizabeth's graceful caress burned his thinking, almost banishing his steel restraint altogether. " I'm not a…I mean you know this wouldn't be my first-"

" Sssh." Just hearing her say the words, her inexperienced mouth working overtime to convince him of something that would take little strength to bend to the direction they both eagerly wanted to go, made him hard. " Please."

He kissed her, the center of his mouth puckering out to press gently against hers. Then he was up and away from her. His warmth gone, vanishing, leaving only the raging ghost of his penetrating self. She breathed a few breaths, short and confounding.

" I thought this was what you wanted… I thought…"

" It is." He leaned in her direction, his arm coming up to lie around the back of the couch.

His voice was deep, a caving mystery. " It is, Elizabeth."

She sat up, leaning on her elbows, peering at him through dizzy filmed eyes. Using her elbows she voyaged the rest of the way up, her bottom sliding up as her arms circled her bent legs that had come to rest against her heaving chest. " Why are you holding back from me?"

His eyes stabbed truthfully into hers. " I'm not."

" You're afraid."

Jason couldn't control the lopsided grin that snuck up on him. " The last thing I feel around you is fear."

" Then what is it? You're the one who said you wanted this. To be together even though it was temporary."

His features wiped themselves clean for interpretation.

Her insecurity clawed for release as heat stampeded her cheeks. " Unless your feelings changed…I mean…I know I'm not as experienced as the other women you've been with…"

He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Suddenly she could read everything he was feeling. His hurt, his anger, the direct hit she had just slapped across his face.

" You think that." He accused, but spoke the words as a question.

" I don't know what to think." Elizabeth explained weakly. " All I know is one minute you want me and then the next you're holding back. How is this any different then before?"

" I don't want to hurt you. Is that so wrong? For once in my life I'm trying to the right thing."

" Right, how? I want to be with you. In every way that counts…we don't have much time-"

" That's not a good reason." Jason interrupted, his temper mingling in with his temptation to kiss her again. " You don't jump into something just because you think it might be gone the next minute."

" But it will be. All this will. There is no if." Her voice echoed hollowly in the air.

The silence gathered and escalated between them, parting them in two separate directions. Head hung Jason made himself look away from her, but the rise of his emotions had a mind of its own, breaking and bridging the small gap of misunderstanding.

" I want you." He confessed, under the breath of his words, he hardly heard himself, but his pride felt like he was screaming his feelings. " I want you so bad it hurts." He ended shakily, the vibration of agony eating away at him.

" Jason-"

" There. You satisfied?" He stood, intent on the leaving her there, but Elizabeth, for once was faster, standing up and blockading his attempt to go and sulk. Or do whatever guys did when their feelings were put on the line.

" No."

" What?" His hands came up, agitated, but there were blatant tears in his eyes. Tears that hadn't fallen, that probably never would if Jason had any say.

" No," Elizabeth gulped, laying her hand in the middle of his chest and pressing her fingertips where she could feel his heartbeat, erratic, like a wild drum beat against her skin. " No. I'm not satisfied. Nothing will satisfy me, but…"

Moisture elbowed its way up into her eyes as well. Her fight was a lost one. " This is hard for both of us. I know you want to do what's right….I know you're my guard and you want to protect me, but that's all…surface stuff. Jason, what's going on between us would have happened no matter when or where we met. This thing, connection, it's not just because of our situation. I don't…that's not me. I don't fall...I mean care, I don't just care for people. It takes me so long usually forever to let myself just be and want someone. This isn't normal…but I like it-" She hesitated, tipping her head up as she floated closer. " I like who I am when I'm with you. What I feel." He closed his eyes. She didn't know if that was a good sign or not, but she fought the instinct to shut down and run away.

Expelling a large, built up quantity of air, Jason scraped his front teeth over the bottom of his mouth, finally opening his eyes and placing them fully on her with a focus that a couple of days ago would have made her squirm.

" I care." He let out with brutal softness. " That's why I'm doing this. I don't want you to regret anything."

" I won't."

" Or hate me." The security of assurance in her tone fell empty on his ears, but yanked hard at his heart. He couldn't…he shook his head. " I don't want you hating me when this ends. I don't think I couldn't handle that."

" I could never…"

" Don't." He whispered, capturing her face a little firmer than necessary under the stress of her naivety. " Never say never. You hated me before," he darkly warned.

Her hand slipped away from his chest, dangling back down at the side of her. " Maybe we should just…not go there then…maybe it's too much. I guess we were being stupid to think we could do this without any strings attaching themselves…it was dumb…"

" No, Elizabeth-"

" I'm going to go take a shower…just…I have to go." She ran, didn't walk from him. He reached out to grab her, but his mind was too sluggish and stuck in place to catch up with her. She wasn't understanding him at all. She thought he was rejecting her and what she was offering to him when, in reality, he was trying to protect her. He wanted her, bad. But even he wasn't selfish enough to excuse her feelings because of his need.

He wouldn't do that. Not to her.

* * *

The lights were on.

That had to be a good sign.

Mr. Corinthos was standing by the balcony of his penthouse apartment. Shaved and dressed, meticulous and appearing completely like the man his workers recognized, knew, and of course feared as well.

" Come in."

He didn't think Mr. Corinthos had spotted him or even caught that he had entered.

Squaring his shoulders, he made his way deeper into the expansive living room, sensing that he was being invasive but knowing he had been invited in. By the man himself.

" You wanted to see me, sir?"

His Brooklyn accent was almost as thick as his used to be. Sonny had slowly weaned off the small barrier, realizing early on that the more New York you sounded, even if your business resided there, the more people assumed you were just another ignorant thug.

Sonny liked being underrated, loved proving people wrong, but he also understood no door opened on its own.

" Yeah…come."

Sonny waved him over, didn't move, just waited for him to meet him where he was.

" What can I do for you?" the guard appealed, trying to make himsel sound available.

Sonny's face was forward, fraught and clouded, but he surprised the guard in answering him pretty quickly. " You can do a lot for me actually."

" Whatever you need." The man relaxed a bit at his side.

" Trust is delicate thing. You agree?"

" Yes sir." He didn't hesitate.

Sonny bobbed his head, his expression remained stoically apathetic, unimpressed . " Good. That's good. It's important. Not just in the things we do, but in life…in general."

Sonny seemed led by his own train of thinking so the man next to him didn't interrupt to divulge his opinion. He really didn't think Mr. Corinthos wanted to hear it anyway.

" The truth is more valuable than people realize. Without it, nothing can be accomplished, nothing can work. Relationships," he fingered off, " Business, life itself can not be successful if you don't have trust."

Sighing harshly, exerted like the words physically exhausted him, Sonny finally turned to the man, his eyes jumping like hot black coals. " I need you to watch out for me. There are people…people I love who are not obeying me the way they should."

The guard blanched, his eyes squinting.

Sonny didn't wait for his questions. " Max and Ritchie…I want you to give me a daily accounts of everything they say or do. I don't care how small or meaningless…one word can make or break someone. I need to know it all."

" Sir-"

" Anthony. Focus." He spat. He was desperate and this particular solider didn't have a past connection with the other men. Sonny was sure he would do what he said. He wanted more responsibility, higher control- this was his golden opportunity and Sonny was dangling it in front of him like a meaty steak to a salivating famished dog.

" I know they're your friends. They're my friends too. But someone…something's off and I need to know. This is life or death." His vital words dramatized by the wild leap of his eyes. " I need you to report back to me….nothing's going to happen to them. Just anything you hear, tell me. Okay?"

Anthony, face white but eager to please, nodded. " Sure boss. Whatever you want."

The compliance tamed something in Sonny's stare. He squeezed the man's shoulder as a rehearsed grin darted across his grim mouth. " I wont forget this."

That had Anthony smiling, fully and without precaution. " I'll let you know."

The young guard, sensing the conversation was over, left on cue, which Sonny appreciated more than he could verbalize. He hated when people didn't read the signs, didn't take in the subtle body language of the person they were engaging with. To him, those slight gestures translated volumes. If the other person was willing to pay attention.

Which he was. He always was. What other people considered paranoia, he treasured as his own personal life-saving weapon. And right now he needed to be primed for any and every thing. There was more than one betrayer in his midst. He needed to sift the bastards out, cut them off by the knees, make an example of them and have them suffer for their treachery.

And he was going to use any means necessary to make that happen.

* * *

" I need to have communication with him. I want him to know I'm willing to negotiate."

Jason paused in the middle of the kitchen. His pathway of thought was on his work, his eyes were searching for Elizabeth. " No, no. I don't care how it looks. He needs to be aware of the situation. This is only if we're desperate. This is my security. It's the only thing I can use against him."

He scanned the woods, didn't see her so he walked into the living room and stopped when his eyes caught the tip of her socked foot. She was sitting against the back of the sofa. " Good." He lowered his voice dramatically, scaling it down to a dull roar. " Get back to me as soon as possible."

He nodded, peeked his head around without moving to see if she was awake but couldn't tell. " Right."

Clicking the phone off he threw it on the couch carelessly and walked over to where she was sitting. For one small second, the distance from him to her, Jason prayed she wouldn't be cold or hurt from before. He didn't give himself time to worry about it though. He wanted to make it right, whatever the problem.

She was leaning forward, sitting straight and still. She didn't appear to have noticed him so he took the opportunity to nudge her shoulder with his knee and slip between her body and couch.

She let him. Which encouraged him, made him want to be bolder. So he brought his arms over hers and led her body against his so that she was leaning into his chest. Her breathing jumped a little but otherwise she stayed silent.

His long fingers fiddled over hers, brushing and playing with the soft skin that provoked the need to touch the instant he felt her.

His mouth moved close, hovering over the shell of her ear. " What's your middle name?"

" What?" she breathed out, a slight laugh playfully mixed with her weariness.

His thumb traced and memorized the shape of her thumb. He repeated, even more softly than last. " What's your middle name?"

" No." She shook her head, the hairs there hitting his nose as he bent over." No way."

" Tell me." His hand, on the other side of her body, squeezed the plane of her stomach through her off white thermal. " Now."

The natural heat from his body fumed off of him and on to her, making her cloudy and weak against his persistence. She felt the searing mark of his closeness too intensely to think creatively around him. "It's Imogene."

His chest tightened and paused in mid breath, followed by a mumbling, "Okay," into the crown of her head.

" You can laugh." She suppressed the bubble of giggles in her own chest.

" I'm not laughing."

" Yeah but you want to." She tipped her head up and sideways at him. " I can hear it in your voice." When his expression turned serious and his eyes darted down quickly to her lips she turned back to the way she was, clearing her throat and feeling a little bit more conscious of their current position. " What's yours?"

" I don't have one." His sounded groggy and off beat when he answered.

The inevitable silence came but this time it didn't feel clogged and heavy, suffocating like she thought it would. Like it usually was between them. There was a relaxed calmness that eased her mind, dissolving her bits of worry.

" What was your greatest fear when you were a kid?" He asked. He seemed genuinely inquisitive in his wondering and she had no idea why.

" Um, probably," She grabbed his hand this time, it was laying flat on the top of her thigh "…thinking my parents were going to leave and never come back."

" Why?"

" Well, all kids think things like that I guess. But with me, it always felt more real because I knew my father worked for a dangerous man."

Licking her lips, she paused and thought for a moment. " I mean I didn't really know, but I sensed it more and more as I got older…and then when I saw Mr. Corinthos in the news all the time…and in the papers…it was harder not to know. I was always the curious type so I found out as much as I could about him which, unfortunately, wasn't a lot."

He didn't comment and she didn't think he would. When any small thing that even remotely revolved around his boss came up in conversation Jason clamed up. More than usual.

" But I bet that would bore you since you already know everything about him."

"Yeah." His chest blew out his words, making her body rise with him.

" Yeah." She said slowly. " What about you? What were you afraid of?"

He chuckled but it didn't come out jovial. " Not eating."

" Really?" She peaked up, slowly, twisting but not moving from being pressed against him.

She sounded so bothered by what he had said, Jason had almost forgotten altogether what they had been talking about. " I wasn't a kid, but I was young when my mom split so I had to take care of myself. I lived day to day, surviving. Not much as changed."

" Living day to day?"

" Yeah. It's better…for me…living like that." He was staring at her now, pointedly, like he was making sure she was paying attention. "My work is my life and that's permanent so everything else kinda has to stay temporary in order for me to be focused."

" You certainly are…focused." She added silently.

His eyes were still on her, like crystals twirling in the darkness." I have to be."

" I know." She shifted her face away, looking outside, at something that made her eyes seem like whatever she was concentrating on had to be very far away." It must get pretty tiring…always walking that tight rope…I know I get tired of it."

" You're different than me." He spoke tentatively, his lips skimming the ridge of her forehead. "You pretend."

" Yeah I guess you could call it that. I mean I thought I was living the way I wanted to, being who I thought would make me happy without stirring my parents up, but it was just this act for me. I know that now."

" Why now?"

" Because…" Her voice faded.

" What?" His mouth was near the corner of her eye now.

" Being with…I mean being around you has changed me…," Her voice lowered, her words unleashing her feelings in slow trickles that fought to be heard. "…set me free somehow, I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I don't have to think about what to say or do, how to feel. I just…It's just there, all there and I'm happy. For the first time I'm happy."

She tried but failed to discount the way he tensed under her." I'm glad," he said in a ruined voice.

" What about you?" She hastily inquired, trying to swing his attention away from the fact that she had just opened up a vein. "I mean...you live this hard life, every minute, all the time…that has to get to you. Don't you want to ever just stop…"

He didn't think about his answer. " No."

" But you're not happy. I can see it." She whispered painfully, as if it hurt her to even think about it.

" I was. I am." He corrected, lightening his tone purposefully to collect himself and not resonate the heaviness building inside his chest. "There are different types of happy."

" I've never even really seen you smile till these past couple of days, Jason."

" I don't smile." He said simply. " Doesn't mean I'm not happy."

" So you're content?" She didn't hide the incredulity in her question. "With everything you have?"

" I have to be. This is the life I chose." His statement left no room for argument.

But she didn't adhere to the warning signs. What little time they had left Elizabeth didn't want to spend it beating around bushes of timidity. " Yeah, but things change. You of all people should know that. You drift in and out of places, you barely have a home…don't you want more out of life. A family, kids one day?"

" I knew what I was getting myself into. Besides, that stuff never mattered to me. It was for everyone else. I never wanted it."

She nodded as if she understood, but she didn't." And what about now?" She asked tentatively.

" I'll be okay." He breathed out, the breath seemed to bleed out some of the rigidity burning through him and on to her. " As long as I know you're okay."

" You know you're not as hard to read as you think. You can want more. You deserve it just like everybody else. Working for Mr. Corinthos doesn't have to be everything for your whole life."

" I'm in it for life, Elizabeth. That can't change. I don't want it to."

" What about this, here?" The air inside her lungs bottled together, stalling in a ball at the edge of her throat." With us?"

After a heart beat of soft contemplation, his answer waved out like a harsh wind from his gut. " I wasn't expecting you."

The ball relinquished its grip around her lungs." Me either." Her fingers slid in between his, the pale flesh of her hand and fingers merging with his dark large one. The difference was remarkable, obvious, but right somehow. Kinda like them.

His voice seemed to surface from nowhere, gravelly and off balance. " I care about you Elizabeth. More than I should."

" Jason."

" Please." His eyes closed. " Don't." He warned, rougher than he meant to.

" You say I have walls, I should take some risks. Well maybe you should turn the mirror on yourself. See that you're being a coward. You're denying yourself. Outside of this business, what do you really have?" She yelled, her shoulders shook as the rest of her bunched together.

" I was definitely off when I thought you weren't the mouthy type." He reflectively commented in soft amusement, but she knew better. Jason, he was desperate to change the subject, to stop beating a dead horse.

" I'm not sorry." She argued stubbornly, unlinking her fingers with his and crossing her arms under her breasts.

She tried to pull away, but he held her in station with his firm hand on her hip. " I didn't say you had to be." His lips skimmed a kiss across her cheek.

She mumbled still a little agitated from moments ago, but Jason couldn't decipher what exactly she was saying.

" Let's just drop it okay." He murmured coolly, brushing his hands up and down her arms leisurely.

" For now." She added, her temper sparking in a noting way.

" Forever."

" We don't have forever." She said miserably, huffing out and feeling the indicative ache of lurking heartache she knew was coming. So she switched topics this time. " Tell me what you were like as kid."

" Why?"

" Because I want to know you." She yawned, her eyes tearing as she tucked her chin into her shoulder and nuzzled the side of her face into his chest. Resting his chin comfortably into the center of her head Jason thought she had finished but she breathed out. " All of you."

" I'm not finished asking my questions."

" What, so I can bore you into a coma." The breath of her words tickled his chest, dosing and weighty against the sensitivity his skin peaked to when she was touching him.

He chuckled again, deep and throaty. It had to be the third time she witnessed him laughing since they met. She wished he'd never stop.

" You're a lot of things Elizabeth, but boring will never be one of them."

Her eyes rolled upward, catching his gaze which was already on her. " Was that a compliment? I can never quite tell with you."

The laughing stopped but his smile did not dim." Yes."

" Okay, just checking." She wrinkled her nose at him before snuggling deeper into the burrow of his warm spacious upper body. " So tell me."

" Do something for me first."

" What?" Her eyes opened. She hadn't realized they had closed.

" Just rest. For a little bit, please."

" I am." She argued weakly.

" No you're not." He dug his chin in slightly deeper. " Please… I just want you to rest."

" Right here?" Her voice already sounded sleepy.

" Yeah." Jason tipped his head, leaning against the side of her face now.

Her breathing leveled out, slowing to a tempo that signaled sleep was already washing over her. " I am a little tired."

Her breathing weakened further, dwindling down to barely perceptible audibility. Jason was content. Sitting there, his arms around her, her body encased by his, knowing she was safe, he basked in the surreal feeling that overwhelmed him. For a moment, just a moment, he left himself feel everything he had been pushing at bay, all the emotion, crowded and ready to combust inside him, came over him like an uprising, making him experience things he was unprepared for.

But he let the weakness win. For now. He let himself admire her beauty, her vulnerability. The adorable pout of her lips as she slept, the slight snore, the way her milky flesh cooled under him and how bad the temptation was too warm her. He let himself because right now he could. Right now he could like her, care for, get caught up in the gorgeous distraction she was and be okay. Because in a few days he would be back to taking care of her, calculating the future, and living the life he was familiar with. Where he was safe from this, here.

He peered back down at her, catching only the round tip of her nose and the blossoming lips of her pink mouth and he admitted to himself, for the first time, that Elizabeth and him weren't so different after all. They both played it safe, ran from complications. Except now. With one another. They were both playing a very dangerous game, one that transcended physical danger. They were risking their hearts and Jason wasn't so confident if he could get them through this without one of them getting broken.


	32. Chapter 32

_Watch your thoughts for they become words_

_Watch your words for they become actions_

_Watch your actions for they become habits_

_Watch your habits for they become character_

_Watch your character for it becomes your destiny Unknown_

Sometimes it's the simple things in life, the afterthought of pieces and moments that are carried and stored inside us, the ones that are looked over unnoticed until it's too late, that bring forth the greatest of pleasures. The strongest gatherings of happiness inside us.

People, she wasn't sure she had ever met anyone that luxuriously high maintenance, they always sought for the never ending, free flying sort of pleasure; using money, power, any and all means necessary to search for the ever elusive feeling. Like some legendary fountain of youth that's passed down from generation to generation in disbelieving but hopeful whispers.

But they were wrong. All of them. A person didn't need money to find true happiness. It certainly didn't lay in the pages of some text book where some obscure brilliant scholar analyzes the psyche of life all its conundrums.

True unadulterated blissful high in the sky happiness came from love. The simple act and feeling that love brought you; the pure miracle of its existence and how it came to be in your life from nowhere. Maybe that is why most people still didn't understand. It was so simple, it was easy to miss.

People were always making things so complicated and complex like some grand mystery when, in reality, happiness was right under their nose, right at the very tips of their fingers, if one was aware enough to realize.

Elizabeth was.

She was now.

It scared, excited her, blazed a line of fire up and down her back like a trail of endless secret messages, ones only she could interrupt and feel, only she could read from the very own special coding of her mind.

She heard the sizzle of frying pan which immediately slammed her back into reality. Her hand began its whipping action again, her eyes darting back to the timer. She had cracked all the eggs, the toast was toasting, the bacon was sizzling in the oven…all that was left was the eggs. She decided to make an educated guess and go for scrambled. She wasn't exactly sure what type of eggs Jason liked in particular but she betted if she asked he'd give her that enigmatic look she loved and hated and say he didn't care.

Yep, scrambled was the safe, conventional choice. She looked down. Damn she was probably wrong then.

Oh well.

Pouring the egg yolks into the pan Elizabeth never tried so hard to remain in a concentrative state. At this point it was almost ridiculous to even fight it. No matter what she attempted to distract her mind or body with, she always came back to him.

Actually, mostly his eyes..

I mean he was gorgeous. Unarguably so. She didn't even think Sam would debate her on that fact, but Elizabeth wasn't a person who focused very long on the physical aspects of a person. That's why she loved his eyes. Because they were the only window to him and what truly mirrored and reflected his emotions inside.

Otherwise she'd have no clue.

Even when he was trying to be all statue- like and unreadable, there were still fragments of his soul that bled through and translated a small sign of feeling; whether Jason knew it or not. She saw it, the good, the bad, the heart wrenching, the sweet light happiness. It was all right there, illuminating in that bright blue and it was the most beautiful thing to witness.

" Hey." His lips touched her shoulder.

She jumped back in place, gasping for breath and then laughing when she realized how stupid it was to be surprised. It wasn't like anyone else was there but them two.

He nuzzled his nose into the side of her hair, kissing her again before speaking.

" Sorry." His groggy voice sounded arrogantly unapologetic.

She turned around to find him unabashedly smiling down at her. His face was unshaven, his eyes a blurry blue and his lips bee stung. " No you're not."

Nothing seemed to ever prepare her for him. " I was making you breakfast," She somehow got out, speaking over what felt like an egg in her throat. Had she swallowed one while she had been drooling over her dumb adolescent thoughts?

" Why do you do that?" He came closer, wiping the hair away from her eyes, even though most of her hair was gathered in a low haphazardly put together ponytail.

" Do what?" She shrugged, trying to nudge away the self-consciousness that always jumped out at her from nowhere.

" Blush." His eyes sparkled, floating over her, and absorbing the atmosphere like they were under the microscope of her mind. " You do it a lot."

Suddenly nervous, Elizabeth played with the small inner flesh of her bottom lip. " It's not like it's something I can control."

His stare magnified, intensely so as he traveled down her face, planting his attention on her with a rupturing contentness that made her skin ripple from shocked pleasure. " You do that a lot too."

She knew he was looking at her mouth. Even with her eyes closed her mouth felt ablaze with the visual caress. " Habit." She gulped. " Why…does it bother you?" she whispered, unintentionally provocative.

One breath past before he answered." No."

" No?"

He shook his head, as if hypnotized from some trance she wasn't aware she was emitting. It captured them both, seemed to draw them within a breath of one another without their knowledge they that were even moving.

His hand cupped her jaw. His thumb flatly pressed into the middle of her bottom lip.

" I like it," he admitted, his voice sounding miles deep like the ocean and just as dark.

Her bones liquefied in place, her insides swaying and stumbling inside her. " I'm glad," she whispered, shaky, hoarse. She tried to make herself breathe but whatever strength she had wouldn't work against his wielding power over her.

" Elizabeth." Her hand found his face next, her skin reveling in joy at the burly sharp line of his jaw, the unshaven but silky feel of him.

" Jason."

The side of her nose slide across the side of his. She saw the momentarily lapse of hesitance in his eyes and wondered if he'd pull away as she noticed it. She ignored it, followed the instinct of her body and his blatant reaction to her, but then his hands were on her shoulder, stopping her progress.

" Jason." Her mouth parted at the same time his did, inches away from one another.

Chest rapid as it brushed against hers, his blue eyes, dark clusters of liquid molten, circled her mouth as if he was ready to jump her right there. But his words deadened his obvious intent. " Elizabeth, we can't…its better-"

And then the phone rang.

Jason immediately pulled away. Clearing his throat, he stepped back, releasing his body from hers, wiping away the heaviness of the moment and all that it had built up to.

" I need to get that." His tone was lost, his eyes razor blades of sorrow, cutting into her.

Mutely, she shook her head and turned around. She didn't understand why but there were tears in her eyes and she suddenly felt like breaking something.

" I'm sorry."

" No. It's okay. Answer it." She stirred the eggs, lowered the heat, sniffing back her emotion with a wipe of her eyes and nose. But they refused to cooperate with her.

" We'll take a walk later. Okay?"

God, he sounded so sorry. All baritone and achy like he knew he had hurt her but didn't know why. She didn't either. She was just so frustrated with the situation, with everything.

" Yeah, sure." She smiled, giving him a glimpse of her profile and nothing else. " Go. Answer it before whoever it is hangs up."

" Okay." His hand came over hers, which was at her side and gave it a gentle squeeze before turning and leaving the room.

Using the plastic spatula Elizabeth scraped the scrambled eggs from the pan into both their plates then grabbed the lightly browned toast that had been done for the past five minutes, that was probably cold, and plopped it next to the eggs. She shut the oven off, grabbed the tray of bacon with an oven mitten, placing the sizzling breakfast food on the cool part of the stove.

Elizabeth decided to wait a few seconds for the bacon to cool off before she put it on their plates. So she just stood there. Over the food. Head hung, gripping the edge of the counter like she could break it in two. Truth was she was tired of feeling like she was throwing herself at him.

She was never someone who could ever be accused of such behavior. Inherently shy, she never would put herself out there. For anyone. And now, when she was, she was being rejected left and right. Why try when she knew the outcome would be him stopping her, putting up some roadblock to whatever they were doing, when he deemed that they had went to far.

She was done. Maybe he didn't want her as much as she did. She wasn't a child. She knew this was going to end soon. She was very unmistakably aware of the situation and all the facts that morbidly drew her to the very real conclusion that this would not ever end well for them.

There was no hope. No fleeting sense of faith either of them could cling to no matter if they got out of this alive or not.

But, still, Jason wouldn't allow himself, them, to go there. She wasn't sure if it was guilt that stopped him for being with her or simply because he was not promising her any sort of future. Just sex.

What more could she do to convince him that she understood all that and she wanted to be with him anyway?

Nothing. She realized now. Once Jason made his mind up there was no going back. No detour or angle she could use to shift him in a different direction.

So, if this was what he truly wanted- not to be with her- then she wasn't going to fight him anymore. He won. They would be friends, just friends, or whatever they were that defined their relationship. She'd leave it be. Because, in the end, that was what he wanted and with all he had done for her…maybe this was some sort of relief she could give him in return.

* * *

" So?"

" Um, well, sir," Anthony tried to force the shake out of his voice, but no matter what he did he always ended up sounding like a pubescent middle schooler, " It's only been one day."

" What does that mean to me?" Sonny asked callously.

Thank god this conversation wasn't in person and Mr. Corinthos couldn't see him sweating like nervous pig about to be someone's next meal. " They were, uh, talking a lot to themselves. When they noticed I was there they stopped. The only thing I heard was something about Maine."

" Maine?" Sonny repeated impatiently.

Anthony loosened his tie with a hard tug." Yeah."

" Jason," He was talking to himself, his eyes bugged out, insanely focused and grasping to the piece of information that fit with. "Jason has a place in Maine. If I remember…"

" Maybe he's there." Anthony took the small opportunity to offer his advice. " But what does that matter."

" Nothing to you. Find out more."

" Sir, they're not going to open up to me." Anthony tried to explain the impossibilities that denied him deeper access to fulfill Sonny's wishes, but he knew before he spoke that his opinion would fall on deaf ears. " They barely know me."

" Get creative then. I don't care how you get it done." Sonny barked, undeterred from his mission. He was so close he could taste it. " I need concrete information."

" But I don't even know what I'm looking for."

" Anything. Anything that seems off. You hear Jason's name, listen." Sonny sat up, his jaw working overtime as his voice rose to the point where Anthony had to pull the phone away from his ear. " If he mentions a girl Elizabeth or the name Webbers, pay fucking attention. It's your dick on the line."

" Well they did mention Jason when they said Maine…I think…"

" You think? " Sonny screamed, incredulous to the man's stupidity. But it was him or no one. Plus Anthony's stupidity would work to his advantage later on. "Jesus fucking…what about the girl?"

" No." He quickly told him. "They just said something about him staying there until it was done. And I know he's on vacation or whatever…I mean taking a break after his last assignment."

" Good. That's good." Sonny nodded, expelling air that was weak, but alive in anger. " I want you to send Marco and Gino back up to Port Charles. On my orders. Put them on a Mrs. Betty Genario and anyone else that was in close contact with Mr. Webber."

" Mr. Webber?"

" Yes. Mr. Webber. Are you listening?"

" Yes, sir." Anthony answered in immediate obedience. "Yes."

" Send Ritchie back here." Sonny ordered while fixing himself a drink at his wet bar. He unpopped the crystal knob, splashing the strong brown liquid without checking to see if he had even gotten it into the glass.

" What about Max?"

" He can finish his shift." He gulped down the brandy, began pouring another glass as he spoke. "Tell Ritchie I want him back here a.s.a.p."

Unbuttoning the first button his dress shirt Anthony sat, feeling exhausted. " Okay boss."

" You here anything…I mean anything, you call me. Right away."

" Will do."

" Right." He pressed the end button as the next drink disappeared in an instant from Sonny's thirsty binge.

Edgy, wired, Sonny felt explicitly alive at that very moment. And that was when he knew…knew he was so close he could practically taste the flavor, smell the stench of betrayal. Rotten and decayed it permeated his senses making his business, his life second and inconsequential to this very important mission.

Sonny felt like the spider in that spider and the fly poem. Luring and baiting his enemies until he drew out their weakness, made them feel safe and then went in for the kill.

Oh yea. He was definitely close.

* * *

It was brisker than she thought it would be. Beautifully clarifying so. The cold did that to a person, awoke the sluggish senses, revived the drowsy state if the world or whatever was in it was getting them down somehow.

Now, it just made her think.

About all she was about to face, all she was bout to gain and lose.

She missed her family. It was funny because she wasn't used to missing them, she wasn't the type who cried over silly things like small or short goodbyes. But this was different, so different it was bringing out parts of her that she wasn't positive were really her, maybe just strange effects from the bizarre dramatics she was having to deal with.

" You okay?"

Jason spoke from right behind her, asking his question as if he already knew the answer and didn't like it.

" Yeah. I'm good." She automatically responded, not turning. She didn't want to. If she did he would be able to tell she was faking and right now, she didn't need that. Not if she was going tot try and keep her distance like he wanted.

But she heard him move a bit closer. She could feel the heat of his body make itself known by invading through the thin layers of coat and clothes and resting like a cloak over her.

" You're lying." He was trying to keep the edge out of his voice, but he wasn't trying hard enough. Jason wasn't a patient man when he it came to waiting for answers or truths of any kind. " What's going on?"

The breath Elizabeth huffed out made a visible cloud in the air, drifting out into the open space that seemed to continue endlessly. She stepped a little bit ahead, needing the space to think clearly, act without any sort of emotion attached to it. " I said I'm fine Jason. Stop making everything a big deal."

" You're being quiet."

" I'm always quiet."

" More now." The rest of his patience just flew out the window with the biting sting of his frustration. " What?" he came to her side, burning a hole with his seeking eyes.

" Why can't you just leave me alone?" She turned to him, angry that he always did the exact opposite of what she wanted. He couldn't just let it be like he used to…when she wanted him to react. Now, now when she needed the moment to think and breathe, he was pursuing her like starving tiger who had found its meal for the day. " Huh, why are you doing this?"

His face seemed to contort with an unknown pain the longer he looked at her. His stare cracking like lightning amongst storm clouds and his chest rose in uncontrolled, exhausted breaths. " What the hell are you talking about?" he whispered. He moved another step closer, but she backed away in two long strides.

His brow curled, his eyes darkened as he swallowed and watched her. " Elizabeth."

God, why did he have to sound like that- all guttural, every word feeling like a hook was reaching down his throat and ripping at his intestines.

She closed her eyes, licked her lips that were chapping from the frigidity of the weather.

" When am I leaving?"

Clearly unprepared for that swift turn in direction, Jason's mouth slit open, his eyes widening then squinting. " What the does that have to do with what we're talking about?"

" I want to know." She answered stiffly, holding herself in place inside. " It's soon right?"

The blue in his eyes iced over. His mouth pinched down as he looked away for the first time and stared out into the meadow on their right. " Two days."

"Good." His head whipped back to her. She faltered a step but found her balance to remember her stance when she looked at the ground. " I mean… for everyone involved. Good. You can…and I can…its better this way."

She tried to walk around him, giving her body more distance than was necessary so he wouldn't grab her, but somehow, his hand reached out and yanked her back, his fingers enclosing around her upper arm as he jerked her to his side.

Bringing his head down, within inches of hers, he spoke, his stare somehow both chagrined and hurt. " Stop it."

" Stop what?" She peered up at him, playing innocent. Tears filled her vision.

" Elizabeth, don't." He warned in a plea that washed over her, almost made her break her resolve. " Don't do this."

" I'm just doing what's right. For both of us, Jason. We were stupid to think that we could do this and be okay. So I'm following your lead and cutting this short."

" My lead?" He spat out, disgusted. He pulled her closer with a rough handle that almost made her fumble over her feet. " I don't want …I don't want this."

" But you don't want me, right? All of me that is." She dared, a tear pooled under her eye. " Just what you think is fitting. Well I can't do this Jason. I can't do that. This is hard enough as it is. I can't pull my emotions, my feelings back when you say we've gone too far. I'm not a robot. Okay? I'm not you." Her mouth clamped shut but she was already too late. Her words had done their damage. " I just…I'm doing what you want. You don't have to worry…I won't try anymore.."

He let go of her, but didn't move away like she thought he would. Instead he came closer, so close his breathing, hot and trembling, pierced the flesh of her ear as he whispered darkly and low. " You think I don't want you. You think that every time I don't see you or touch…" his eyes closed, his breathing grew shakier,… " that I don't want to have you right there…that you've fucked me up so bad inside I cant do anything, Anything" he roared hotly, " without feeling you."

They were both shaking now, both frozen in place, aroused and hungry and neither willing to move to stop or start any thing. Jason's head drew back, his nostrils inhaling the sweetness of her as he broke only far enough to really look at her.

Her mouth was open, full and rosy. Her bottom lip was drooped ever so slightly giving her a childlike purity he desperately wanted to consume himself with. He had never seen someone who could appear angelic and erotic all in one stare, one look, one way about them.

So much of him called to that. He was so used to the filth and darkness of his life, he wanted, for once, to immerse himself in her snow white goodness, bury all his past, all his sins in her and let himself forget, get so lost in her that he could never find his way back. Jason believed she was the only one who could do that to him.

His hand floated up, his fingers wobbly as they yearned for the contact of her skin. His blue stare, anchored solely by his unreasonable desire, were framed in a lustful haze.

Elizabeth saw it, felt gravity pull her to him, but she fought it, flinched away and managed to avoid the slow travel of his hand that ached for just a graze of skin.

" No."

" No?" He came closer, disregarding her weak protest.

" No Jason." She sniffled. " I can't. I can't do this. I…want you. All of you. And if I cant have that. I'd rather have none of you. It's too much…too much for me."

" I'm trying to protect you."

" And I'm trying to protect myself!" She argued. " Maybe you were right. Maybe this isn't supposed to happen at all. It shouldn't be this hard."

" Is that really what you want?" he demanded in a low growl, knowing full well it was the farthest thing from what she wished for.

Shaking her head, she made herself say it. Made herself feel that this was right even though it felt anything but. " Yes. It is. I'm going home…or wherever you're sending me in two days…it doesn't matter anymore."

His hands fell to their sides, he straightened, as he glared at her. " Fine." He let out the one word dully with as much sturdiness as his failing lungs could manage.

" Fine." She swallowed past the meteor-sized ball in her throat, shaking her head in agreement, plastering a smiling that looked about ready to shatter from the building pressure. Like a broken mirror that hadn't yet fallen out of place.

She walked past him and he let her, refusing to watch her go. He didn't need to, didn't want to particularly remember that sight of her. He was going to be doing enough of that when the time came, which was rapidly approaching and too fast for his liking.

For once he wished time could stand still, let him be, but Jason was never one who harped on wishes. He was never a man who did a lot of things, but the woman who had just left him had changed him. And it was a permanent, stalking sort of change that he knew wouldn't be leaving him anytime soon.

* * *

" I got some pasta left over in the fridge." Sonny circled around Ritchie's chair slowly. "You want me to heat you up some?"

" Uh, no thanks boss." The young guard shook his head at him. He couldn't see where he had gone to and he didn't like the fact the Sonny was roaming around like a caged animal about to lunge. " I'm good. Me and Max got a few slices about an hour ago."

" Where?" He said from somewhere behind Ritchie. "Hope you didn't go to Papa Johns. I told you they make shit piece…tastes like a paper plate with ketchup on up."

" No." The man laughed, sure Sonny would think he was stroking his ego, when he was really laughing because he was so goddamn nervous. " No, we tried this new place, called Albertos …it just opened up on the West Side. The guys who own it are actually Italian. Can you believe it?"

" Today? No." Sonny laughed a little too loud to be genuine. His stare was webbing a trap, unbeknownst to the man sitting at his dinning room table. " Fuckin everyone owns a goddamn pizza place. I gotta it try some time."

" Yeah it's good."

" Good."

Ritchie's voice croaked. " Yeah."

Silence followed, trailed between them. Sonny used the deliberate quietness to tear dissectingly at Ritchie and the palpable worry he had been wearing daily since he got back from the Webber mission. " So I talked to Jason."

" Oh yeah?" He answered casually, his shoulder's stiffening.

" Yeah…he's said he'll be home soon. He's having a relaxing time though." He paused purposefully, " But then again that's Maine for you."

Ritchie hesitated, looked back not finding Sonny at the window. " He said…"

" What?" Sonny was on the other side of him, lingering near the kitchen entrance.

" Jason's in Maine?"

" Yeah. He told me he should be back in a few days." He informed, leaning against the wall in staged like pose. " He said it's cold as hell up there for late September. I tell you I can definitely wait for winter."

" Yeah Maine" Ritchie gulped, desperately trying to reach for understanding that was not there, "…it's cold."

Relaxed, Sonny inquired in a soft imploring voice." You've talked to Jason then?"

" Uh not recently."

" Have you ever been his house there?" Sonny questioned lightly, " Heard it's beautiful."

" Yeah, well, Jason," Ritchie fought for semblance, for control of a situation he never had power over, "…he likes the space I think mostly. It's so peaceful out there."

" Yeah? I'd go crazy without all that silence." Sonny moved closer, slow swaggering steps that embodied the man who orchestrated them.

" Yeah me too." Ritchie agreed, his gut cramping.

Taking a seat next to Ritchie Sonny leaned back in his chair. " You think Jason will be back in time for that fundraiser? I mean he said he was coming and I can use the extra security now that Prozzi is part of my crew."

So close, Ritchie felt like he couldn't breathe." Yeah with the way Jason drives …give it ten maybe twelve hours…he's a speed demon..." he trailed off, seeing a weird look cross Sonny's face.

Patting his back Sonny dismissed the guard with a satisfied smile, " Good." He shook his head, pleased. " Thanks Ritchie. You've been a great help."

Ritchie stood up, eyeing his bosses gleaming expression. He made his way to the door reluctantly, feeling like he had messed up, but not sure how. Ritchie was still playing catch up with the small landmines Sonny had dropped on him in the conversation. He had fucked up big time. He just wasn't sure how.

The door clicked shut and Sonny was on the phone before the door had fully closed. There were two rings before the man on the other end picked up. " Change of plans, take my jet you're going to Maine instead."

* * *

Elizabeth couldn't sleep.

No matter how many times she tossed and turned, her brain wouldn't shut off and let her rest.

Everything irritated her. Her covers kept slipping off her shoulder. The small damp hairs at the base of her neck, that wouldn't hold in her ponytail, kept itching her neck and her eyes wouldn't stop watering.

They hadn't talked.

All day. He didn't say one word to her. Nor her to him.

Something that used to be simple-Simple?- a week ago, today, now, was the hardest thing she ever to endure. She wanted to run to him, tell him she was scared, being stupid, protecting herself, but what purpose would that serve? She had already hurt, already butchered him when all he trying to do was keep her safe, from him, from the dooming futures that would separate them forever.

But this was better. Even though it hurt, even though it killed her to see him ignore her, pretend she wasn't there, it was still nothing compared to the pain she was going to feel in a few days.

Tears burned under her closed eyelids. She wanted to sleep, stop thinking, cause the demons to relent a little before everything started all over again in the morning.

But her mind wouldn't let her. Every time she started to slip into some sort of semi sleep Jason, his face, his eyes specifically, would stare back at her in her mind, cold and remorseless, hurt and stung from her rejection. He acted like he didn't care but there was something inside her that told her she was wrong.

So wrong.

She'd been wrong about Jason from the very beginning. Especially about who he was.

Jason wasn't just some heartless murder, some cold hard living breathing statue that ate and drank death. He had a heart, she had seen it, seen his warmth, the way he cared for her, risked his life for her, shown her more tenderness that she thought was humanly possible.

Jason was so much, so many things, just trying to figure out what he meant to her overwhelmed her.

Because…Elizabeth's eyes opened as realization took over…a noise came from the door, muffled and faded to ears,…and she knew, right then and there. She was in love with him. Madly. Deeply, in love with Jason.

" Elizabeth."

Leaping from the bed, Elizabeth whirled up. The covers fell from her, loose strands of hair blocked her vision. She could barely make out the dark figure that stepped in the doorway and closed the door behind him in one agonizingly slow move. But she didn't have to decipher who was there to know it was Jason.

" I couldn't…" she heard him hesitate, search for words that's he was never good at finding.

" Jason," she said out of breath.

He clicked the lock. His eyes, bright neon blue, locked on her as he walked to the foot of the bed and opened his mouth to speak but the room remained empty except for the pulsing throb of awareness that kicked up between them.

And when he finally did talk he sounded like a man who had fought a great battle, who was weary with defeat, and who wanted more than anything to surrender to the need that plundered him.

" I can't fight this anymore." He whispered between them, soft and deep, warred but famished by the sight of her. "I don't want too." He licked his lips, his face along with his stare darkened like the blackest of midnights. " Unless you turn me way. Do you want to turn me away, Elizabeth?"


	33. Chapter 33

_**I havent written scenes like this in forever. Not completely satisifed with this, but I did all I can, lol. Hope you like it. This chapter is definitely NC-17**. _

_I like my body when it is with your body, __It is so quite a new thing… E.E. Cummings_

If air could be seen the way it could be felt, like the springing of sparks that travel up and down the atmosphere, hiding and revealing against your skin, fading and cascading like a scale of music that never quite ends, the flow between them would as catastrophic as a natural disaster, devastating in it's effects but beautiful in its ruin.

The subtle draw and release that came and went neither Jason nor Elizabeth were ever fully prepared for. And now they knew they never would be.

Jason hadn't moved.

Elizabeth hadn't breathed since he entered the room.

The click of the lock played again and again in her ear like a residual echo that trapped her bones and muscles in place. How could one sound defy her will, take over her control, and make her dizzy with the possibilities of what would come next.

" Well." His patience was an endless stream, but there was no masking the urgency laying, creeping underneath his soft demand. " I'll leave. If that's what you want."

" What I want…" the message traveled beyond the barrier of her crowded senses. " I can't think straight…I don't know…" she rummaged in between each word, determined to decipher what was real and what wasn't. What would hurt her the least…what was her safest action without bruising the waiting man looming over her footboard.

She darted him a look with one eye, the other sheltered under the veil of hair that had loosened and released itself from his surprised presence.

Caged, ready to break, to plunder, all of him lay sitting in his patience, but Elizabeth knew better. She knew what he quietly held back, and what fate she tempted by withholding her answer. He seemed on the brink of some madness.

His face, the crystallized emotion that unfurled before her, tugged at her with the force of an unnaturally strong pull. Something neither of them could see, neither could explain.

Instead of appeasing his raw nerves with a response, she crawled forward, pushing the comforter off of her in slow measuring steps that made his black stare ignite. She wasn't intentionally trying to taunt the thin hold that kept him narrowly at bay, but no matter what she seemed to do, Elizabeth felt the surge of power's control fall over her, like warm fingers, and guide the magic that cut Jason off that at the knees, making him stand there and watch without being allowed to react.

On her knees she moved to the end of the bed, hesitant, but also short on breath and high on feeling. Her white t shirt rode high on her thighs and she pulled it down, already feeling stripped when his eyes slit in anger at the milky exposure of skin and more enraged by her instinct to hide any part of her from him.

They were eye level now. The blast of awareness had her knees buckling, but she wouldn't move. Didn't think he'd allow her one step, one inch from his closeness after, now, letting herself so near.

She licked her lips, the action working in slow motion like her mouth had been pricked with novocain from the sting of his glare on her. It was all she could sense, him. Numb and tingly. " Jason…I thought…"

" I changed my mind." He interrupted quickly in a grumble.

He was losing ground. " Why? Why now? Jason. We only have-"

" I don't care." There was a thickness in his voice she had never heard before. Tears, emotion, fear, longing, all rolled into one big bubble that was about ready to explode from her vantage point. He slid closer, one small inch and they were nose to nose. His breathing was uneven, worked and harsh and they hadn't even touched each other.

" You hear me, I don't care."

Swimming in the sound of his voice, her eyes glided between his. " What do you care about?" The tone of her words matched his.

His head bent closer then drifted back to really give her a direct look, trying to cut off the current that flowed between them before he submerged himself to far to think and all that would be able to speak were his actions. " You, Elizabeth. You."

" Me, but I thought-"

" I want to be with you." The depth of his declaration made her bones sag under her skin like he had just unloaded a burden of truth on her. " With the little time we have left, I want to be with you…if that's what you want."

The weight of his truth trapped her where she knelt, making her vocal chords the only viable option to translate her identical craving. " Jason…are you sure? I don't want you to do this-"

Her hand came up, but he stopped it, pinning her wrist in the air with his fingers around it. Gone were the small drops of lightness from his stare, like peeks of sunlight through clouds. They evaporated, vanquished by the penetrating severity of his need.

His voice teetered over the edge, from soft and low to a ripping snarl, suddenly turning on a dime, but it only pushed the excitement quivering under her nightshirt. " Don't play with me, Elizabeth." He threatened softly, jerking her closer. Her chest bumped his, followed by their lips hitting then parting from the wave of clarifying shock. " I can't…I won't tolerate-"

" Jason." She felt her flesh rise above her, the sensation paint over her. She rushed out before she thought she'd break, waiting only for his eyes to fully land on hers. She swallowed, breathing out," I want to be with you too."

Their breathing mingled, both hitching as their silence and nearness turned them on. They closed in one each other. Their mouths met but neither of them moved in for a kiss as they continued staring at one another, engrossed in the heat between them the longer they delayed themselves. Waiting, wanting, holding back until they thought they'd crack from the pressure building.

Jason's bit down, his jaw flexing and showing off the sharpness of his features as he swallowed. The tension in him multiplied, making his hands shake, his mouth opening in a silent call as his eyes violated every inch of flesh on her mouth.

He realized he was the first to break. " Elizabeth-"

Next thing her hands were fisted in his hair, his in hers, their faces smashing together and their lips gulping down one another, the air splitting as they met and greedily took and gave from one another.

Their heads twisted and turned from side to side fiercely, almost savage like, they both seemed ready to break the other in two. Her arms looped around his neck, only to deepen the closeness, delve into his mouth and get so wrapped up in him, everything else would just slip away, never to be found again.

Gripping her lower back, Jason's hand clawed her closer, making her shirt rise and bunch in his fist as he pressed her against him and made her mouth widen as her legs parted.

His tongue was on hers in one instant, mating her, coaxing her to catch up to his possessed rhythm. And he took and he took…the tip of his tongue riding on a hot deep wave that hinted right before the body of his tongue gyrated against hers. Rolling and rolling, dropping back and then pillaging every inch of the soft red skin inside her.

Soft, deathly slow…he stroked her, baiting her with his movements that broke her in tormenting inches, traveling down and spreading everywhere at once. His hands found the womanly curves of her hips, leading her forward as his breathing trembled against her open lovingly abused mouth.

" Move." He sounded so desperate, dangling at the breaking point of some abyss only she could save him from. With her mouth, her skin, drowning into the fire of her, Jason didn't think he could stand one more second. He had to be inside her. Had to feel her wet passage close around him or he'd go mad.

Her head hit the pillow and he shifted her nightgown up, leaning his full weight into her. She was wet. He could feel the soft curls of her mound through her underwear as he gently but persuasive grinded into her center, forward and back. Stop and pause. Stop and pause.

He didn't relent, keeping his full body on her. He wanted her to feel his erection, how fucking hard she made him. He didn't think she grasped how much he wanted her.

" God." She screamed, wrapping her legs around him high, her heels at the base of his naked back. Her body flowed instantly with his, not missing a step as their pelvises swerved up and down. The unhurried tempo picked up, escalated. She felt so hot under him, the lips of her private ready to erupt. Her head fell back and Jason knew if he didn't stop she was going to come and he didn't want that.

He pulled away, heard her moan of protest and kissed her temple sensually slow, breaking just the little that was necessary to hook his finger around her cotton black panties. He leaned away enough for her wiggle the small fabric down.

His attention was back on her even before he had thrown the garment across the room. He kissed her lips again, this time keeping his eyes open. His stare flamed a silent message, told her a story of what he wanted, what she was going to feel. Her eyes stayed opened as well, both feeling the stark nakedness of the moment and how it connected them.

The darkness of the room enclosed around the bed, absorbing all the color. The pigment of his eyes was gone, just black unashamed thundering desire spread through him. His feelings for her penetrating in his stare. Without fully letting go, he used one hand to slide his sweats down then his black boxer briefs.

Elizabeth didn't have time to be nervous or to feel even a glimpse of self consciousness. He was kissing her again, without inhibition, with a hunger that rattled her nerves into a crazed frenzy, making them stomp across the ends of each muscle, each bone. Solidifying her in place. Her head sank into the pillow as he devoured her, emptying his starved attention for her on her mouth, wanting more the longer his mouth coerced and tamed hers.

With his other hand he guided the tip of his engorged penis near her entrance, circling the sensitive area with small advances, letting her know that he was there. Ready. He wondered for a small moment if she would be afraid, pull back, but she didn't. Her heels dug into his upper thigh as she whimpered against him.

" Jason." She said, her lips tangled into his.

He paused, rubbed his upper lip over hers. The sterling color of blue descended for a second in his stare, illuminating his look, his movements, as he hovered over her.

" I'll go slow." He promised, huskily. He sounded about ready to shatter.

" No." She shook, there were tears in her eyes. The agonizing note in her voice hardened his erection like a steel pipe. " Don't, please." A tear fell from the corner of her eye and he immediately wiped it away, the tightness in his chest crushing him.

His lips whispered against hers, a primitive nudge deepening his need to hear her beg. He stroked himself, pumping his cock against her, drawing the tip over and around her, goading for a reaction. " You want me to go slow." He said against her mouth. " Elizabeth."

" Jason." She was pulling at the back of his head. She didn't care if he was in pain, all she understood was the relentless selfish crash of sensations that drove and stalled over her. " Please."

The ripping quality of her plea snapped his intent to stretch this out and all he saw was her face and all he felt was the scorching wetness of her as he plunged into her in one long swift movement.

Buried in her neck for a quick second the spasm of an orgasm almost overcame him but he stilled and sank inside her, not moving, glorying as he became saturated by the warm gloved feel of her around him.

God, she was so warm and tight, so goddamn untainted. Jason, all of a sudden, felt very much like a sinner who had just entered a holy site, desecrating something so beautiful and pure, something that was never meant to be touched by his filthy hands. He froze.

" Don't." She breathed encouragingly into his ear, her finger nails scarping the side of his jaw. " Whatever you're thinking, don't."

And he was so selfish, so greedy for her he couldn't. He was a bastard, a selfish fucking bastard. But this whole thing was out of his control. He didn't want to stop and when Elizabeth squirmed and rose under him he knew she didn't want him to either.

" Fuck." He whispered into the perspired crook of her satiny neck. He stayed for only a small moment, waiting for his body to subside a second from the reckless burning arrows that shot up his shaft, injecting his blood.

She was quiet but unstill as he kissed and sucked on the different spots of her neck. His body began to rock in small smooth motions, so smooth like riding against a heated slope of liquidy sensation. The synergy of his movements grabbed at her, making her fall in timing with his languidly pace.

This time Jason yanked at the ends of her hairs, making her mouth come down to his, giving him a more dominant overlooking view of her. Their mouths fused together, their bodies swinging like joint members of the same being, following the beat their kisses created.

Jason knew he wasn't going to last much longer, the mass of sensation pressed against every aching limb of his body, echoing and ricocheting off his skull like a bullet with no destination.

Reluctant he broke away from the private cocoon their faces and lips created and he hovered over her, bringing one hand back and around her upper thigh, the other gripping the edge of the mattress right above her head. The slow sinuous action of his body gasped only to restart itself in rapidly frantic drills. He pistoned in and out, unrelenting, pounding into her at just the right angle that his cock was brushing ever so slightly against her clit.

" Jason." Her nails scratched at his chest. She seemed blinded by the pleasure, her face twisting and reddening, her mouth opening and closing but her mind was desolate from his deliberate doings.

His name came from some place so undiscovered inside her, Jason, hearing only the sound of her voice and his own aggression, made him wildly buck into her, plummeting in and out of her. He could feel her juices soaking him, the silk of her body staining his memory for life, and he heard her cry, her scream shred the air around them.

Her body shook violently under his, seizure-like and he went with her willingly. His face bulging and contorting, he used the last of his strength to make her come one more time by gripping her ass and forcing her body to feel the full weight of his cock embedded in her as he drove into her like a mad man.

He was coming but he didn't even truly feel it; he was too transfixed on watching her climax, already addicted to the sight of her face and body as she shrank and quivered below him. He felt like a god who could wield her any way he ruled.

And he wanted to, very quickly, right now… make her come again.

But when he bent over, caught the small flesh of her ear in between his teeth and delicately nipped and stroked her with his tongue he realized her breathing had evened out. ..He turned her face to him, sheltering her beauty in between his large hands and wishing he could frame her from one second.

She seemed almost in the middle of…. falling asleep…

He withdrew his body from her, starting with his already budding erection and he started to roll off her when she planted one hand on his chest.

" Hey." Her smoky voice called out. " Where are you going?"

For the first time all night, he seemed shy, ready to give her the space she needed. " I was… you need to rest."

" You were going to leave?"

" I was going to stay right here." He patted his hand on the other side of the bed which he was technically in between. " Okay?"

" No."

" No?" His smile was lopsided.

She shook her head, skimming his shoulder with her fingers then down his arm. " Don't leave me." Her eyes were veiled by her sleep-induced state. " I want you here. Right here."

She didn't point to any place in particular and she seemed relatively incoherent to what she was saying. So just for that moment he watched her, her beauty so goddamn enticing…he watched as if he was playing a game with himself, tempting his restraint to take her again. Even asleep.

He kissed her forehead, sliding the covers that were under their bodies over them as gently as possible. Taking her into the warm space against his chest, he wrapped her small body in him, his large shoulders barricading around her, dwarfing her presence so she almost seemed an extended part of him.

He drank her scent in, his nose getting lost in her dark loose curls. " Sleep, Elizabeth." He said into the empty room. His heart turned over like he had pulled a muscle in his chest; just hearing her breathing deepen in peace made him physically ache. Completely awake, content on watching her as his face stayed guard over her, Jason murmured. " Sleep."

* * *

She woke up surrounded by a quilted heat, soft and humming. It bled through her drowsy system, worked at a crawl's pace, tingling and warming the crevasses and dips all over her body.

The side of her face was pressed flat into the pillow, the other side walled in my Jason's cheek; the plane of his cheekbone resting against her comfortably. She couldn't tell if he was awake or not, his eyes were too far up and she would have to twist her head high to get a good look.

Her whole being felt weighed down, not by him but what she had just been through. Her senses were on overload, sedated, but stirring on the brim of some appetite that never paused for respite.

" You okay?"

Her body leaped a little in place, but her head fell back into his shoulder, giving into a throaty laugh. " You gotta stop doing that."

He kissed her cheek, trailing another a little farther down, then her jaw line. " Doing what?"

Was he as aroused and hungry for her as he sounded? As she was for him?

God, she moistened instantly, his lips alone stimulating parts he wasn't even near; the imprint of his kiss traveling up and down her spine, spinning off in long sharp glints down her body then shooting back up to bounce and buzz in her breasts.

His breathing picked up just as hers did; his blatant erection pressing just above her bottom. His fingers slid down the side of her and grabbed at the ends of her shirt.

" This goes now." Sounding disgusted with himself that he kept it on and survived for this long he made her arms come up as he wrenched it over her and threw it somewhere in back of him. He didn't care as long as it was gone.

He didn't know how he had made love to her with it on. But he hadn't exactly thought about anything but being inside her. Right there. Right then and there and nothing else.

Jason saw her hand come around to shield her nakedness but he immediately put a stop to it, placing his arm fully over hers and leading it back down to her side.

" You're beautiful." He looked down at her but her face was forward. " You don't hide from me. Not now. Not ever."

" Jason," she closed her eyes " You don't have to say."

" I know I don't." He answered in a low ripple, his brow knotting at her words. " It's the truth."

" Jason." She laughed, her chest rising, her cherry nipples peeking out for a second beneath the sheet. " I just mean…that's now what people would call me. That's all I'm trying to say."

When his dark look didn't relent, her small chuckle disintegrated somewhere low in her stomach. " Jason…let's just drop it. Okay."

" No."

" Jason, please."

Moving slowly, surely, with a hint of devil in his eyes, he leaned back, his mouth falling over her earlobe, his breathing bursting out and hitting her, wiping their conversation from her head. His hands found her breasts, cupping them ever so slightly with just the edge of his palms and the rough callous tips of his fingers.

" You don't think you're beautiful." He whispered erotically, his nose bent into her hair as each syllable slipped out, more dangerously alluring then the next. The hotness of his mouth coupled with his words drew her, made her soar above herself. He used the flatness of his palms first, skimming the stiff points, breezing against them in a taunting way as he grounded into her from behind. " Huh?"

" Jas-_on_." She stuttered, grinding up against him as well, indulging in her softness against his hardness. Delighting as she felt his cock turn to steel.

" You like that?" He twisted her nipples slowly in between his fingers, mercilessly, his hands taking mouthfuls of her, loving the solid sweet heaviness of her in his hands. He plucked at her like he was out for revenge while kissing a line down her neck then back up slowly with each plop of his lips, hearing her sobs only a distance away.

With one hand he parted her thighs, found her just the way he knew she would be. Wet. Quivering. Enflamed. His two fingers parted her, found her clit swollen, throbbing and nudged the flesh up and into his capable hand.

" I can't…" She moaned…" Please.."

He toyed with the sensitive small piece as it slipped expertly in and out between his two fingers. Gentle strokes that ate away at her, had her mewling in pained pleasure. The slick movement vibrated between her legs, swelling up to her belly, her breasts, rising until she thought she'd choke.

Then he sped up, his hand shaking at a feral rate, the heel of his palm leaning into her. " Oh my god." She sobbed. " Jason…" The orgasm spun over her, twirling, making her body fold inside out. She couldn't think, understand, all she could comprehend was him and what he was doing to her.

Her eyes rolled back from inside her lids as she licked her parched lips. " Oh god.." she sighed…leaning back thinking she was falling onto Jason's shoulder when she realized she was on the pillow and he was over.

Wiping the lusty film from her eyes, taking in his face that looked like it would split in pieces, Elizabeth felt a tickle of thrill, of impending excitement grow over her.

Jason looked possessed, obsessed with the raging need for her.

" Elizabeth." He grounded out when she widened her legs, welcoming him. " I'm sorry I can't-"

" Jason…" Her throat closed off when she saw the small tinge of shame color his ravenous stare. Cupping the side of his face she brought him closer as she rose up halfway to meet him. " I want you…I'll always want this…always you." _I love you_.

And she kissed him, pulling his lips apart with her, forcing his body and his mouth to come and sink so deep into her there was no way he could go back. There was no strength inside him that could tear his body from hers. He was a part of her, she was a part of him …that could never be washed away.

His tongue dug into her mouth like a man searching, half insane by her. She couldn't breathe, he was suffocating her with his infinite amount of energy that strung her along like a helpless victim.

This time he didn't wait for her to know, he entered her, desperately milling into her body like he would lose her if he stopped, like she would vanish. His strokes heightened but she met him, inch for inch. Each thrust bringing him deeper, striking against him like a chord. The sensations strummed up his shaft, taunting him as he went faster. Until he felt his skull sever from the rest of him as a fevering jolt rode over him and he spilled himself into her.

She was coming to. He could barely hear her over his own roaring orgasm, but the sound of unconstrained pleasure made his cock twitch for more. More. So much more of her.

The crashing inside him subsided and he could still hear her. She was so loud. He looked down. So loud and fucking gorgeous he didn't know what to do with himself.

Slowly, Jason reluctantly withdrew, fell down on his back and breathed in deeply. He closed his eyes, trying to wipe away the residue of emotion that wouldn't stop rising inside him. He felt her come and press against him; her head resting in the middle of his chest, the rest of her body tangled in him, her leg over his, her torso almost over his.

He could feel her wetness against his side.

His eyes squeezed closed.

" Jason."

" Yeah." He bent a little to kiss the top of her head. " You okay?"

" Yeah." He could see her satisfied smile even though she wasn't facing him. " You?"

Instead of replying he kissed her forehead, wiping away the small curls that lay there.

Small slices of reality began to dawn on him and he looked down at the crown of her head, wondering, abruptly worried. " Did I…did I hurt you?"

She didn't answer him, just shifted away and for a long agonizing second he thought for certain he had scared her somehow. But when all that greeted him was the pure sexual bliss of her sparking eyes and smile he opened his arms wider, thinking she was going to cling closer.

Instead she leaned forward, swinging one leg over his body and straddling him. His mind wiped itself clean of any thought. He was a barren wasteland next to her insatiable sexual drive. He was completely helpless as he took in the sight of her magnificent naked body, all flushed and worn, on top of his.

Too stunned into submission to think clearly he watched as she climbed and draped herself timidly over him. He hadn't realized his mouth was fully open until she bent over to kiss him. Her breathing was lazy and staggering as she swept her full lips against his.

" Elizabeth."

She found him hard and pulsating, his cock bobbing off his stomach. Her small fingers closed around him not even meeting half way around his width. She began to stroke him with tiny short pumps, ones he could barely feel, sending him crashing down a bottomless well with no ending.

He pressed his head into the pillow, his face straining, the chords in his neck about to pop. His pelvis started to move along with her and he stifled a groan into his mouth, knowing this wouldn't end well if she didn't relieve his torture.

" Elizabeth," he growled, out of breath.

" Make love to me …" He could tell she wanted him to take over, make her forget, make this night, the moment and feeling, the only thing that mattered.

He gripped her hips, guided them to where her fingers still encased him and let her sink into him, get the feel of him. It wasn't long before they both began to rotate. He watched the plane of her stomach roll along with her body's movements, the sweat bead off her flesh as she rode him. His fingers dug into the cushiony flesh of her crescent hips as the friction of their bodies undulated up against each other.

Her back arched deliciously as her pelvis worked him, propelling him in so deep, he was buried to the hilt, completely surrounded and lovingly wrapped up in her.

The only thing, in the moment, he felt and understood was Elizabeth. She was already seared in his body's memory. Every part of her was permanently sewn into the fabric of his thoughts now, melding into the fire of his mind. And so he feasted on the reveling sensations her and her body caused him to experience. Because soon they would be gone.

But not now, right now was all either of them had and that was all he was going to live for, breathe for. The rest could wait till morning.


	34. Chapter 34

_Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. James Arthur Baldwin_

Patience, in his opinion, always tended to widen the gap for error.

In the past, he never gave that chance a possibility. Immediate action and fast efficient results were a critical part of his line of work and the people he paid, but this assignment was turning all his hard and fast rules upside down.

This was supposed to be easy. In and out. Get the job, erase the problem and wipe away the trail of evidence into nonexistence. Jason and him had been the best at these sort of " problems." It was the main distinction that extended their authority above the rest of the New York bosses.

The West Coast men have been hearing stirrings as well, wanted to do business, get their noses wet with the action that had been whispered around in their hotels and casinos.

Sonny, of course, would oblige. He was a man of equal opportunity. He would never shut anyone out that was willing to pay for his protection, services, name or all of thee above. He liked the power and loved the dollar bill signs that registered in men's eyes when they heard the well-known proficiency his name carried.

More money for them meant more power and money for him in the end.

But this one case was fucking everything up. Jason was…

Sonny shook his head, not willing to go there yet when he didn't have any concrete information.

He didn't understand how one little job had bloomed into this total nightmare. This was supposed to be hush hush, no one, not even his men were in on this particular job. He wanted it advertised _after_ Mr. Webber was fish food what had happened. So people would know- would gasp in the horror that even a legit accountant was in fear of his life if he crossed the line.

Now everyone knew. Sonny had to find things out, gut out for the truth until the lies came spurting forth like the fucking inside of a dead animal. Now it didn't matter how sloppy or publicized this thing was becoming. He needed to know, needed to find the lying pricks who did this and make them suffer and if that meant the unintentional damage to his operation, he would pay the price and make repairs later.

Nothing was permanent that he couldn't fix it. No one, no one was irreplaceable.

He hated waiting. Waiting always reminded him of being detained like in school when he had to be at the mercy of some higher ruling. Being small, insignificant was not something Sonny every wanted to revisit emotionally.

So when the shrill of the phone cracked like a whip in the empty room Sonny didn't wait, even for the first ring to finish. Jamming the button down Sonny answered, borderline agitated and the conversation had even started yet. " Yeah."

" Boss, its Gino. We just got back. We're on our way home."

" Tell me what you found out." Sonny asked as he peered out his window. His form the only presence and light in the room.

" Well, we tapped into the main database of the warehouse, made a duplicate of Mrs. Genario's computer's memory ….she, uh, found Mr. Morgan's private files, pictures."

" When was this?"

" Beginning of September."

Sonny bit down, feeling a convulsion of rage steam up in his body, but he remained calm in his delivery. " That's what I thought. Anything else?"

" Nothing except…" He traveled off.

" What?" He spit out, pushing his fisted hand into his pant pockets.

" Well, while we were accessing the memory and a bill was brought up for a leased mini van under the name Douglas Whitemore. It was purchased and received the same week as the files were. The description of the minivan wasn't familiar to anyone when we asked around, but we found out that that was the same car that was found when cops put out an apb after the Webbers went missing. Anyway, we found out it was the same one the cops discovered two days later in Kentucky somewhere. We got a hold of the police files and it was identical in license plate and everything to the car that was seen in front of the Webber house the morning they disappeared."

" Really." Sonny drawled, cupping his chin. " What do you think that means?"

" I don't know…maybe they were up to something…"

" Or," Sonny added, his voice a deep shake, " maybe someone tipped them off…"

There was a pause. " What do you want us to do?"

" Get rid it all. Go to the Genario's house. You know the rest." Sonny ordered mechanically, his monotone voice not deviating for a second. " Stay out of sight for a couple days. Things are going to go down and I need clearance. If anything happens I'll be in touch."

He clicked the phone off before waiting for their response. Sonny was never one to linger for a person's farewell, no matter who it was. He pressed speed dial five and hoped to god that Anthony was smart and didn't hold him up. He was in no mood for games. It was finally time for action and Sonny's blood was boiling to the highest degree under his silk blue shirt.

" Hello?"

" What the hell are doing?"

" I was just about to call you…I'm on my way back." Anthony explained, his voice cracking.

" You find anything?"

" Jason was there."

" Yea."

" But he wasn't alone."

Sonny paused, all motion inside him stopped like freeze frame. " Who was with him?"

" A woman…a woman matching the description of the girl you told me." There was a short bout of silence before he continued his report. " All I saw was shadows, but it was definitely Jason and some woman. She was small, tiny build….they were…they seemed like they were close."

" Close," he said the word like a curse.

" Well, I don't know how close…they were in the kitchen and they were kissing-"

" Enough. I don't need to hear the rest. Get you ass back here and bring Ritchie to the penthouse."

" Max?"

" Did I ask for Max? No. Just bring Ritchie and if any of the other guys ask where you're going tell them you're taking a trip to the city or something. I don't want them to know what's going on."

" Is …did something happening?" Anthony didn't hide the excitement in his question.

" Yeah, something's going to happen. Something big." Sonny answered with a deceptive sliver in his voice, but of course, it went unnoticed to the unwitting guard. " And only you can help me."

* * *

She didn't know what woke her first, the light flutter soothing its way up and down her spine in warm pressing intervals or the simultaneously expanding soreness working through her...ready to do battle for reign in sensation.

Elizabeth didn't care. The weight of what felt like fifty men was on her, her nose was stuffy, her eyes itchy like someone had poured dust under her eyelids, and she was pretty positive the temperature in her body had depleted to the singular digits.

Pushing the covers over her shoulders she suddenly remembered her nakedness. She was completely and totally bare under the comforter. And since she knew a third leg hadn't sprouted out of some orifice of her body in the middle of the night, it had to be Jason's leg tucked very high and snug between Elizabeth's thighs; along with the drape of his fingertips on her hip, dangling onto her back so that every time she breathed out the callous ends grazed her.

God only knew where the rest of him was. Elizabeth dared herself to open at least one eye; semi mortified, mostly elated at seeing his sleepy face close to hers. Wondering if his mouth would be soft, wandering towards a smile as it was last night or would the permanent straight line that was all Jason be set in place.

She missed him.

Sleeping took up too much time. But both were exhausted beyond the limits of normal tiredness and resting had become a requirement after the seventh time of making love. Funny, thinking about any one specific sensation made all the other glorious instances tumble down like a momentous rockslide that never ended. One she particularly never wanted to stop.

Just remembering….

" Hey."

The soft brush of his breath stirred the hairs around her forehead.

Her eyes opened and she rubbed them for a few seconds to get the morning blur out of her vision. When her eyes finally settled and focused Jason wasn't in his state of rakish sleepiness. He was alert, wide eyed, fixed on her like he'd been laying there for hours staring. Except his hair which was sticking up and out.

" Hey yourself," her sore throat made it almost impossible for her to get the words out. She knew she was getting a cold, it had been lingering inside her for weeks, but the screaming she did all last night did not help her condition either.

The preposterous thought that he had never slept but instead was watching her made her stumble a bit inside. Self-conscious she wiped her rebellious hair from her eyes, flattened it back, and brought the covers higher.

" I hope I didn't snore. I tend to do that when I'm overly tired. Plus I think I was on my back for a while…when that happens look out…I sound like an ornery gorilla. Not good."

His throaty chuckle made her stomach tighten as his eyes crinkled causing the blue to wink at her like an invaluable jewel

He seemed specifically fascinated on what she was saying. Well, maybe not what she was saying, but how her mouth pronounced each syllable and word. His eyes were dedicated to the very small action and maybe the thought was crazy to her ears but Jason certainly hadn't veered from her face, not even when he went to scratch his back or leg; didn't seem to want to leave her from his sight for any second.

" Did you sleep good?" she murmured her question. God, with the things he had done to her last night and this morning why was she now embarrassed?

He nodded, bringing his face closer in excruciatingly slow inches, squeezing her hip affectionately. His eyes sparkled down at her, his mouth falling a bit from its slight crooked grin as his gaze roamed her body.

His mere casually thorough voyage of her made her body contract in and out like a life pulse to her sexual drive. " I think it's cold outside. I mean colder than usual. I heard the wind rattling the walls. It's weird because it's only fall. I mean not even deep fall…like the beginning…" she shrugged at him, hoping the abundance of his stare would ease off slightly.

His face was suddenly completely somber now. He cast a dark scowl at her then tore his gaze away like he wanted to get up and wreck some piece of heavy furniture.

" Jaso-" She watched him hold his breath, the square of his jaw spike out like he was trying to silently referee for control against the spasm of anger that quickly showed itself in him.

" What's the matter? What's wrong?"

" Did I hurt you?" he whispered, sitting up and breaking all physical connection with her.

" Did I?"

She didn't like the acute loss of heat that overtook her the moment he was no longer touching her.

" Hurt me? Jason, no. I'm fine. What are you-"

" Don't lie to me." When she blinked up at his dogged insistence, his blunt face chipping away at her, it made an impossible task for her to remember how to speak. " Did I hurt you?"

Her breathing arrested, somewhere between her heart and her throat, but the ache that accompanied it was what made it challenging to talk. " No…how could, Jason…" Taking in the fear that was etched in the lining of his face, it might as well been scarred on him, she answered quietly. " I'm fine. I've…Jason, you could never hurt me."

His face was stuck, uncompromised by her piercing honesty. Her hand lifted, cupped the side of his face tentatively as the warmth of his skin absorbed into hers. The feeling transfixed her, stilling her travel as her body rioted to life from him.

" Last night was…well, it was…something I'll never forget. Something I don't want to. Even though I know it's going to kill me later on-"

" Elizabeth-"

" But I don't care." She plainly announced, rendering him a glance that sparked and charged between them. Sizzling, enlivening in atmospheric flashes. " I don't care what happens. I won't regret what we did…it was too…beautiful."

Her eyes skimmed his but as usual he revealed nothing.

Unlike last night.

Last night he bad been a well of emotion and she had drank up his outpour like she had been in a lifelong famine. His eyes, his face, the way his body shook and strained over hers, begging, needing more. All of him screamed to her, for her…and that was all she had to know to realize what she meant to him.

" Thank you… I mean I know it probably means more…I mean it's not as special because you've been with…"

She groaned, frustrated that she wasn't voicing herself properly. " Listen I just mean …I know that you've been with other people and you don't have to-"

" Stop."

" No, I just mean I know-"

" No. No you don't know." He cut her off. The octave of his baritone deepened in its rawness. " You have no idea."

His eyes darkened, peeling away the layers she had flimsily used to shield her feelings.

She sat up, bringing her face within inches of his, but he drew away, only small necessary steps to fully look at her. He stared at her, didn't try to hide the fact that he couldn't stop staring and wasn't in a rush to stop.

She was so gorgeous like this.

Wild and innocent. Lush and loved.

Her whole body glistened, radiating with a feminine glow. She was flushed and he had worked her body to the breaking point, appreciating her with his mouth and body and now his stare, which was liberally grabbing at her.

" First, answer me." He gravelly requested. " Did I hurt you?"

She leaned closer, tried to remind herself not to touch him. " No. You didn't."

The relief came in small droves as he examined her face, his eyes then picked the rest of her apart, trying to decipher whether she was telling him the whole truth or not.

" But you…" He lifted one finger but pulled back, holding himself in check before he gave into the crucial impulse to touch her, "There's red marks.." He looked away, disgusted. " I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rough."

" No." Her head shook and she gathered his face in her hand, forcing him to turn and listen. " No. You weren't. You were everything…" She blushed, her voice dipping…  
" I liked it."

His face fell into shadows, the plane and curves of his features darkening. His stare turned intimate, invasively penetrating as he memorized her body and face. A primitive satisfaction overcame him as he watched her blush under her own admission.

He wanted so badly to touch her, pin her down and make her come so hard there would be nothing left inside her to give anyone else. Ever.

But he had already gone beyond the extremes with her. He didn't trust himself and was sure he'd end up scaring her with the voracious essentiality her body provided him. He couldn't contain the fresh wave of need that sprung on him, railroaded him every time his stare strayed her way.

" Are you sure I didn't-"

" Don't Jason. There was nothing that we did together that I didn't want to. I trust you."

" Don't say that." His features closed off. Squeezing his eyes shut, swallowing hard, his nostrils flared out. She felt helpless as she watched him pull away, his face torn up by some misery she was unaware of.

" Jason." She moved to place a hand on his arm but he dodged her effort. He was breathing hard now, his face eclipsed by this unnamed anguish. Stopping in mid sentence her direction of thought shifted. " Do you regret what happened?"

His head shot up. " What?"

_Whoops_. Wrong question.

He sounded enraged that she would even suggest the idea. But what else was she to think when he was acting like this?

" I'm just saying.."

" Well don't." He stopped her, his outrage slipping through from his short clipped response. " What happened between us was…"

" Was what?" She compelled in soft eagerness.

His glare died down only to mount, overwhelming her as he devoured her infinitely with his blue eyes, eating away at her fragile defenses and ready to demolish the self control they both clung to. " I'm not good with this here. Words… they don't come easy to me."

" It's okay," she encouraged.

" No it's not." He leaned in just as she did. Sidetracked by her beauty, he skimmed his way up her shoulder, his fingers diving gracefully through the silky soft curls. " Just …I want you to know…he took a deep breath, " …what happened between us…I've never.."

She couldn't sit back and witness his internal struggle for words. She understood him, knew how he felt without having to say a damn thing. " Jason."

" No." The frustration welled up in his features.

" I don't need to hear it. I already know how you feel." Her hand smoothed down his chest, tripping over the bulge of muscle, feeling the acute heat of him under her. " You don't have to say anything."

One second she was sitting next to him, practically on his lap, next his mouth was on her, a greedy hungry sweep of lips taking her, making her body fall down behind her onto her pillow.

There was no soft steps of seduction. Jason had knocked her flat on her back, pinning her wrists at her sides as he let her feel the throbbing velvet skin of his erection scorch her inner thigh while sucking the breath and life from her lungs.

His mouth sank into her, nipped the bottom of her lip in small worshipping scrapes that made her already ache for him to be inside her. His lips clung to hers, tripped over and under slowly like a maddening taunt, shattering her equilibrium as a delightful but heavy dizziness rampaged her.

He stopped only for a second, the blue dancing flames of his orbs emblazing into hers, both soothing and stalking her with his nonverbal meaning. To Elizabeth, he also seemed to be preserving her for memory's sake, trying to capture every last small detail of her face and skin, the small indent in the corner of her mouth that drove him fucking crazy…every last drop of her.

His lips rubbed across hers, but he didn't kiss her as he spoke directly into her mouth.

" Let me show."

" I-I-Jason?"

" Since I cant…" Jason shook his head, rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip and she felt his cock jump at the contact. " Let me show you," he said strangled, his mouth submerging into hers, demanding her to keep up as he took endlessly, never stopping, never giving her an inch to back away.

And she was glad because this moment, like all the rest, would be hers forever. Even if he couldn't.

* * *

He was on overload.

Had been for the past several hours.

Walking the length of the living room, putting his contracts in order, organizing his desk, changing the code of his personal money vault behind the Caravaggio painting he had adorned over his luxurious fireplace.

Things were going to change. Irreversibly. Sonny could feel it in the air, sense the permeable finality fill the room, vacuum out his insides like he'd been hollowed out from this implausible act of betrayal.

Jason.

His mind still hadn't wrapped around the fact, the concrete truth that kept staring at him relentlessly. Even with his eyes closed he couldn't escape what he was facing, what he was about to do.

Jason Morgan was a man he trusted blindly. Without hesitance or second thought, Sonny considered the younger man an extension of himself. Grew up on the wrong side of town, made dumb choices, but in the end, got picked up and dusted off to be handed a more appealing side to life.

With all the filth and muck both of them had survived, together and apart, the experiences had linked and bonded them like blood brothers- for life, and Jason had thrown it away carelessly for some fucking girl.

What did that say?

What did all this mean if Jason was never who Sonny thought he was?

Sonny wasn't some goddamn gullible kid. He knew Jason was a man of his word. Things like money and woman didn't steer him from his single-mindedness. Nothing did. That was one of the attributes that made Jason priceless to Sonny. He simply didn't care about the things that most men did. Wealth, power, the waterfall of indulgences that awaited him couldn't be numbered if it took a life time to count, but Jason was never interested.

He liked his job, like the anonymity of his work and the role of shadow he played to Sonny and rest of his organization. Jason was never a man who was comfortable being in the spot light. He liked the behind the scenes action, jobs that required getting your hands dirty. Jason was happy that way…and Sonny felt like he had struck gold when he found the lost teen and molded him into what he needed.

What had changed? Jason wasn't a man who changed for any person. Even Sonny had a hard time convincing him to wear a tux to galas and events that necessitated party attire. No one made Jason Morgan do anything he didn't want to.

So what did this mean? What did this say about their so called partnership if Sonny had thought one way only to be hit over head that he was being fucking misled the whole time? If he didn't know Jason, a man he considered his brother, what did he really know about any member of his crew? Any opponent waiting for the opportunity to take over?

He heard the rustle of feet and faded whispers before the knock on the door broke him from his frame of mind. He had to be focused, stay on track or he was going to slip up which he bet his enemies were hoping for.

And Sonny Corinthos would never allow that. Never.

" Come in." He said pleasantly. " The door's unlocked."

Anthony and Ritchie entered, shoulder to shoulder. They were talking, laughing at the tails end of some joke neither offered to share.

" Ritchie, sit." Sonny's small voice suggested instead of rising in its usual demand. He waved a hand to the empty couch at his left before standing and fixing the unseen crinkles of his tailor made shirt and pants.

" Anthony, good work." Sonny smiled, genuinely thankful for the swift job the guard achieved in such a short amount of time. Anthony smiled unhindered, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, not knowing if his boss wanted him to stay or go.

Ritchie sat, his customary anxious self. His stare darted between the two men at both sides. He wiped his brow already sensing the doom of the conversation between him and his boss and they hadn't even spoken two words to one other. He leaned back into the couch, told himself to breath, relax. Max knew where he was besides Sonny seemed to be in a good mood, and Anthony had just told him that Sonny was at the end of accomplishing some big assignment.

Maybe, now, Sonny wouldn't be as irritable.

" So, uh, so..boss," Anthony shifted his weight from foot to foot. " You want me to stay or go?"

Sonny smiled.

Anthony smiled back.

Shaking his head, Sonny snickered like Anthony had just told a racy joke. Pulling something from the back of his pants, neither man saw the gun before it was too late. The cold metal device was already aimed and pointed at the guard opposite him as Sonny saw the look of crippling fear bunch his features together " No I want you go. But thanks for asking," And he pulled the trigger.

The man's head went back as the bullet hit him right between the eyes, his body jerked as it followed lead like a wave in slow motion, falling in a lump on the cold shiny living room floor.

Sonny's black eyes were zeroed in on the dead man, but he heard Ritchie's muffled scream through the hand over his mouth.

" Holy...fuck.."

Turning, Sonny scratched the side his jaw with the nose of his gun, licking his lips as he took in Ritchie's expression, his own marinating with an oddly menacing look of pleasure the longer he witnessed Ritchie squirm and twitch in fear.

Sonny sauntered towards the couch, bent forward when he reached the man cowering under him, eyes bulged and glued to the blonde guard whose brains were leaking out on the floor not five feet away.

Sonny, patting the man's shoulder a couple of times, finally gripped a painful hold on him like a claw. It made the man under him flinch as another cry tore from his mouth. " Now. I think its time we discuss what really happened with the Webbers. I have a feeling this time …you're going to be a lot more talkative."

* * *

They never left bed.

Hours had passed, Elizabeth didn't now how many but for the first time in her life, she didn't care. She was used to working off some kind of schedule, even here, but their time in this room had stilled all the regularity of life and she wished it could remain that way for just a little while longer.

They had become so wrapped up in one another, their bodies their only attention, their mouths and limbs the reason and living of their next breath, their next thought and sight even before they were fully awake.

To Elizabeth, it felt like midnight had never left them. The moment they had kissed and every emotion and act that had followed that had frozen time and space outside these four walls. In her mind it was still last night. They still had a whole day to lament inwardly and distract each other on the surface, make themselves forget that nothing else mattered but this moment.

He was the only who ever did that to her. Made her forget.

Her hiding place had always been about that- running away from an emotion she didn't want to feel, a person she didn't want to think about. It was about just being in the moment, letting herself escape so only the bubble of her thoughts and feelings mattered and could be protected because no one knew. No one would ever know.

Jason changed that…changed her. Everything else dissolved when she was around him, encompassed by his presence and wherever he led her.

He stirred under her. " What's the matter?"

" Nothing." She said to quickly, the small drop of moisture that fell from her cheek she caught easily before it dripped on to his chest which she was laying on. " What time is it?"

" Don't." He whispered into her hair. She heard him inhale, his chest rumble like thunder as he pleasantly engulfed himself with her fragrance. " Don't think about that."

" Jason." She nuzzled her nose into his chest.

" Yeah…"

She smiled despite her sadness. He sounded like he was trying not to be roused by her and he was failing, willingly, wonderfully. But that didn't stop her. She needed to say this.

" I just wanted to…" She laid back on his chest. For some reason she couldn't look at him when she said this. " Thank you."

She heard him halt under him, even his breathing seemed to die in place. " For what?"

" All my life…I didn't know but I was waiting for someone to understand me, get to me. I thought my hiding place at home was enough, would be enough for me because I never thought there was really someone out there who could make me forget about my problems and just…want me for me."

She licked her lips, tasted the flavor of his kisses that were now an immoveable part of her being. " I used to hide because no one understood me. I never fit in and I wanted to…so badly. But you changed that, you changed me whether you know it or not. I don't have to be anyone then who I am. You don't care. When you look at me you don't see who I _could_ be or who you _want_ me to be. You just see me. And that seems to be enough for you-"

" Because it is."

" I've never felt that before. Never. I don't need to run away. I don't have to hide anything because you are always right there, seeing through my pretense, knowing me before I know myself…it used to scare me. Now…now I cherish…I…it's the most precious gift anyone has ever given me."

He tugged gently on the loose ends of her hair that were spread over his chest. " Hey."

" No. It's okay…I'm fine," she assured, her tears not falling just filling her eyes. " I just…I wanted… wanted you to know that because..."

He waited in his frozen state, his hand that cupped over her head didn't move.

" Because –because I'm in love with you."

The words echoed between their bodies, between the walls that cemented them in.

Neither said a word to fill the aching gap that bled and widened around. Jason's didn't move, he seemed to grow cold, rigid like a marble statue that had been buried under snow.

He didn't anything as his thumb started it's swishing across her honey-felt curls. Physically he sounded normal to her straining ears, but what was normal for him? Except for the small residual tremble that loitered every exhaling breath, Jason didn't seem effected by her admission.

She should have predicted this. She did.

Elizabeth knew Jason wasn't a man who fell in love. He wasn't some high school boy in the throws of passion, whispering sweet nothings into her ears, waiting for the day when it would acceptable to ask for her father's permission to make her his own.

She wasn't delusional, she wasn't a far cry from naïve either, but Jason didn't do long term, no matter the circumstances they were knee deep in. But, she breathed out, the burn of her unshed tears stung behind her eyes, she thought that maybe…even though they couldn't be together…that he had felt…

She wiped away the thought, now allowing herself to surrender to the whims of fanciful hopes that would never be. That would be suicide for her. She had to focus on this and only this.

Because, if she looked beyond the here and now and what they were sharing, she realized she would feel nothing. Nothing but emptiness and that was a feeling all too familiar. One her mind and body never wanted to suffer through again.


	35. Chapter 35

_**You guys rock. Your reviews literally keep me going. They inspire me when I think Ive dried out, lol. Thanks s much**. _

_Betrayal is the one truth that sticks. Arthur Miller_

" Talk."

It was cool serene calmness of Sonny's demand that scared Ritchie, terrified him down to the very marrow of his bones.

The collective reaction that gathered in him, sent out a clear warning- this meeting would not end well.

He had to think, think fast. Sonny, all in all, was a business man. He loved to bargain, loved to play with people's heads as long as he had the upper hand on where their wallet was located. He liked the idea of mixing personal involvements and business setups. Sonny played dirty and if Ritchie wanted to survive and leave this room alive he was going to have to do the same.

Casting the older man a short but fully inspective glance, the younger guard wasn't eased by what he saw.

Sonny had been so irrational lately…completely atypical, off the wall, bellowing for the most tedious of tasks- that was the behavior of recent-one he had become used to no matter how amateurish it had been.

He knew Sonny hadn't accumulated a name for himself measured against the standards of his actions in the past weeks. He was scary, out of control, on edge and now he was pulling another one eighty. Reversing his anger, holding it inside like he was waiting to unleash his fury at the right and proper moment he deemed ideal.

Sonny Corinthos was nothing if not resourceful, nothing if not cunning. Planning ahead was mandatory in this life. People might call it paranoia, but the paranoia is what saved their asses from surprise onslaughts like this.

He realized now they all had underestimated Sonny and Ritchie was going to be the second after Anthony to pay the price.

" I'm waiting."

Finally deciding to sit, Sonny took a careful relaxed seat next to him, releasing some of the blocking pressure in Ritchie's skull. But then again, Sonny Corinthos hovering over like a thirsty doberman would stunt the strongest of men's thinking process. In his two years he had certainly never grown unaffected to the superiority and inferiority the man evoked.

His black eyes were trained on him, never wavering, pinning him to his seat- the power of his stare emanating like steel darts and he was the damn dartboard.

The cold metal of the gun reflected off the corner of his eye, magnifying the hard deathly presence. The gun was the only thing he could see now, the only thing he could feel and taste when he tried to speak. It was pointed indirectly his way…kinda sideways.

If Sonny had decided at that moment to put him out of his misery, cut short his sadistic game, the bullet would hit him somewhere in the range between his heart and liver. A place only death could come and cure.

Burning nausea traveled through him, drenching his insides with the stench of finality, landing and festering in one and all places. Leaving in its wake violent shakes and sweats.

The silence was not helping matters. It would serve only to further wet the murderous appetite of the man sitting next to him as he brewed in his waiting, reserved state, gushing for permission to attack.

The time for second thoughts was over. He needed to act.

" Sir…please…we, I thought that..." He twisted an imperceptible inch in Mr. Corinthos' direction. "I was just trying to the do the right thing here. Please, Mr. Corinthos, I beg you-"

" Beg me?" His voice shot up, his dark brows curving with genuine inquisitiveness. " You go behind my back and you have the fucking nerve to insult me in thinking you can beg for my mercy? That I would even fucking grant you it …you lying piece of shit."

He still sounded so calm, his deep ebony eyes reflecting off like an abandoned pond that had been isolated from nature's touch since the beginning of time.

Like today was any other day and Sonny was talking about an order he wanted Ritchie to carry out

He commanded his voice not to shake as he continued his humbling plea. " Sir…you're right, sir. What I did was wrong…I...I was trying to do the right thing. Jason didn't want the girl to die so I thought-"

" Tell me everything."

Ritchie didn't hesitate this time to exact his intentions." Promise me you'll spare me."

" Wow." Sonny chuckled, full on, disbursing the morbid heavy awareness that shook between them.

Getting up, Sonny didn't filter his snicker and the amused sigh that followed as he made his way over to the wet bar.

Pouring himself a shot of brandy Sonny offered Ritchie one in a silent gesture by tipping the crystal bottle Ritchie's way. The guard refused just as mutely, with only a shake of his head and Sonny wasted no time offering again, gulping the liquid down in one consuming shot.

" I underestimated you, Ritchie. You know the guys say you're dumb, you shouldn't have been given the rank you were, but I didn't listen to them. Jason and I knew we saw beyond your limited mental capacity."

" I won't say another word…" Ritchie vowed, stiff with fear "...not unless your guarantee me that I walk away alive."

Appearing still in a state of relaxed amusement, like Ritchie's theatrics of terror were meant for the sheer entertainment value of Sonny's benefit, the man shook his head, his words rolling off unworthy. " I don't owe you shit Ritchie."

" I have been loyal to you for two years. Two years!" He exclaimed, standing but not moving from his place. " I didn't do this to go behind your back…I'm not Bruce Webber. Jason explained the problem, he trusted me and I agreed…I thought he was right. He asked for my help and I couldn't say no. I owe him."

" What about me?" Sonny shifted, taking the hand away that was leaning on the bar and resting it on his hip, geared for the self- righteous excuses Ritchie threw his way. " You could have come to me, asked me…I'm not a monster, Ritchie. No matter what people may say, your fear of me is compromising the truth here. I am a reasonable man. Jason could have said something…he didn't! He told me he was okay with this. The problem needed to be eliminated and I asked him if he had an issue with it and he said no. What does that tell me? I'm not a fucking mind reader."

When Ritchie remained standing, stripped of words, his face a white sheet of one noted dread, Sonny queried in a low drawl, sounding wounded. " You think you did what you thought was right? Is that what you're telling me?"

The attempts Ritchie made to recalculate his phrasing died on spot in his frantic need to act. Sonny was mad enough, the truth couldn't hurt anymore. " Yes, sir. Mr. Corinthos...but I never meant to betray you. It wasn't like that."

Sonny's stare blipped into his like a radar that had found its target. " I believe you."

" You do?"

" Like I said I'm not the monster you think I am. Just like you're not the neanderthal that I've been treating you like."

Ritchie could read the contemplation engraved in every step his boss took. And Ritchie watched him, his eyes stalking Sonny as he walked back and forth. Deserting himself of everything that summed up the kind of pride a man basked in, he whispered "Please."

" Why should I? Whether you think you were right or not makes no difference to me. You still went behind my back, deceived me for weeks…that alone deserves death." Sonny crossed over to where he was before, giving Ritchie a glimpse of the agony he would suffer at his hands when the timing seemed fit.

Mouth snapped open then shut, Ritchie limply went on. " I did it for the right reasons, I-"

" The right reason. ..this isn't some moral debate…we're not fucking politicians where you get impeached if you fuck up, leave office, step down. You knew the rules going in Ritchie." His head slanted to the side, his eyes aligning in such a way that his face was a ghostly shadow, unreachably eerie. " My rules have been enforced time and time again...you have killed for me, killed men for less…why should you be any damn different?"

Ignoring his instinct to jump bail and run, placate the fraught nerves that surfaced in his boss's every present breath, Ritchie forced himself to finish." I don't want anything from you. I'll walk away. You can send me wherever you want. Ship me out of the damn country, just…please."

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Sonny's head dipped closer, his eyes vacant as he detachedly eyed Ritchie than leaned back. The corners of his mouth pinched down sourly. " Tell me what you know and I'll let you live."

" But Jason-"

" Everything." His sharp demand was irrefutable.

He wouldn't believe it or relish in the shock wave of relief buried underneath his raw nightmarish anxiety. " You'll let me live?"

Sonny nodded, his glare already to the brim with patience for answers. " I'll let you live."

" Jason came to me. He told me he wanted to make it look like we had carried out your orders just like you wanted, make it look like a robbery and then we'd send them away."

Sonny covered his mouth, soaking in the information." Why?"

" The girl…" he shrugged, " he felt bad for her I guess-"

" Felt bad for her?" His angry whisper rippled in disbelief. " He went against his best friend, his partner because of pity-"

" Jason-"

" Jason doesn't do pity. Ritchie!" He shot out in rage, noticeable only by the tinge of clarifying hurt in his eyes, " Jason has killed more people, he's….what aren't you telling me?"

" Sir, Jason didn't get into specifics. Honestly, he said he didn't want her family hurt, that he thought it was wrong and that was all there was to it. If there was more going on between him and the girl, he never let on. Jason isn't really the type to confide his feelings to me or anyone else."

Sonny sat, let out a heavy, thoughtful breath. " What else?"

" We got there, we were going to take them some place, hold them there for a while and send them away to live…you know, for good. But the cops showed up, so Jason took the girl, Elizabeth, as leverage for a while…just in case the cops trailed us…and that's where they've been ever since."

Nodding as if he agreed, as if he was being let in on a plan he hadn't been purposefully excluded from, Sonny asked levelly, " And what did the next part of your plan entail?"

" Getting them out of the country. That's it."

" And Jason really thought he could get away with this…and that I would never know?"

Ritchie sighed, exhausted, weary from the fear that was paying a major toll on his body. This particular fear was months coming. " He thought it was best you didn't. He wanted to do right by Elizabeth…I guess because she helped him when she saved his life…so-"

" So he lied." He concluded, staring at some space in front of him.

Ritchie couldn't think to say or do anything but nod." Yes, sir."

The wheels in Sonny's head were turning at a slower pace, but moving along as he spoke pensively. " And who else was in on this?"

" Sir?" Ritchie gulped.

Sonny's stare came to rest on his, devoid but authoritative in his approach. " Who else, Ritchie."

Stumbling, Ritchie squeezed his eyes shut tight. The hate that rose and scattered was directed only at himself, but he needed to live. He had to. " Me, Jason, and…Max."

" I see."

Ritchie didn't like the conclusiveness of his tone. The way he seemed to be preparing himself this whole time, waiting and now he was ready to go forth. " It wasn't like we were maliciously trying to go against you, but-"

" But you did anyway."

" I'm sorry." He rushed out, watching in horror as Sonny dusted his shirt then pants off; flicking a piece of fuzz from his collar like a man who had more imperative business to attend to than listening to his nervous ramblings.

The chill that went up Ritchie's spine when Sonny finally planted his glare on him was one of cold hard dread, unforgivable and unrelenting in its message.

Whispering as he cocked his gun, Sonny eyes blackened like two pieces of lint, remorseless and lifeless in their hold on him." Sorrys not good enough."

"I was …I thought…Jason, he was good to me. He gave me my first job" His voice tore out, the burn of nausea gripped his stomach and traveled higher, "…I wanted to make things right for him. He never asked anything of me so-"

" So his loyalty came above mine." Sonny waved the gun as he spoke.

Ritchie shook his head as he eyed the gun, sweat was beading across his brow, on the planes of his scruffy cheeks. His eyes bled out the undeniable truth of his fate and the tiny whisper that broke from across his wobbly twisted lips was one of desperation. " No, that- that's not what I mean."

" Then what do you mean." Sonny's apathetic voice dared for interpretation. " Tell me Ritchie, how am I ever supposed to trust you after this?"

Eyes bulged, head quaking like a leaf rattling in a hurricane, Ritchie fell to his knees, the tears falling from either sides of his face. His ashen face was distorted, quivering underneath the blackened two inch hole that held his fate. " But you promised."

Sonny chuckled again, this time not veiling the perverted delight that sprang from his laughing mouth. " You should know better than anybody, Ritchie." He aimed the gun, right where he had aimed it at Anthony who now lay two feet away. Dead. Sonny's eyes became possessed, scourging Ritchie with a fire only hell could follow. " First thing you learn in this business …everybody lies."

And he shot him.

* * *

She found Jason standing in the kitchen, over the counter. His back was to her but she could read the heaviness of his thoughts, the palpable tension rolling off of him like radioactive waves.

He turned just as her bare foot grazed against the cold tile. Wrinkled white t-shirt, wrinklier jeans that he hadn't bothered to button, his hair was recklessly mussed, but it all went along quite well with the ruffled set of his mind frame.

The way his eyes dimmed only to brighten when they became alert to her. He was hiding as well. Or maybe just dreading as much as she was the inevitability of the next morning.

She was going to miss him so much, it scared her to even contemplate the amount of anguish she was going to be in. Eighteen years and she never missed or cared for one person enough to understand that emptiness. She'd read about it, read about it a lot from all the greats, but reading the words off a page and having them come to life inside you were two completely different things.

She was different now. The past month had changed, forced her to grow up and speed way past the maturity of her peers. She always had felt less than connected to her age group, but now she was on a planet all her own. One no one could comprehend except for Jason.

Elizabeth knew the affects weren't reversible. Meeting Jason had made her someone else….the person she had always been inside and wanted so badly to come out. She had just been in a state of waiting all these years. Waiting for someone to see her, call her out and be happy with who she really was. He did that.

Her life before him was someone else's life and Elizabeth couldn't deny that there was no going back. She didn't want to even if she could.

He watched her like he always did as she scooped herself onto the counter opposite him. His stare was gentle and captivating in its fruitful endeavor. He didn't hide the primal enjoyment that flexed in his sterling blues as he trailed down her body with one heated sweep, only to go back up again even slower.

She felt intensely naked under the lengthy excursion of his glare though she was conservatively dressed in a blue hoodie and her usual ruffled jeans. Although, she chuckled inwardly, he wasn't aware she was clothed in _only_ her sweater and jeans. No underwear. Her initial excuse was she was too lazy to do laundry, but right now she was high on her femininity and the way it pulled at him. He made her tingle with a powering need she couldn't explain even to herself.

She saw him lean his hip into the counter, his brow darken as frustration bloomed and fought for action.

The instinct to wrap herself in his arms, submerge in his warmth again until he blinded her from everything and took them both away from this cruel reality almost overcame her. But she couldn't let it.

She needed to be strong. It's what he would want. And her family needed her.

She wiped the corner of moisture from her mouth, not purposefully to tease, but she saw him tense anyway. " So…what comes next?" she asked tentatively.

" Next?" His eyebrow slanted at her question.

" Tomorrow morning."

His stare fell away from hers for a moment only to find her again, this time giving her with a more formal look. She knew he was trying his damndest to remain detached while talking. He was failing miserably. They had been intimate now, saw sides of one another that neither had shown before, to anyone. Probably never would again for her.

They hadn't just had physical sex. There weren't enough adjectives in the English language that did justice to what transpired between them in that room. No word would ever begin to express the connection of that experience.

Clearing the gravel in his throat Jason answered, his voice just as low and coarse as before. " Max is going to have your family. We'll meet up with them and then…the airport."

" Airport?" She wasn't expecting that for some reason.

His gaze fixed on hers. His mouth barely moved. " Yeah."

" Where…" It was her turn to clear the mucky quality of her voice. Her emotions were getting the better of her and she really didn't want to talk about this anymore, but she had no choice. They had avoided it long enough "…where are u sending us too?"

He stepped closer. " I don't know. That's for you and your family to decide."

The resolution in his answer reminded her of the way he was in her attic, distant, stoic. She didn't like it. " I don't understand."

Sighing, Jason stepped even closer, a foot between them as he eyed her reluctantly. Apparently he was as uncomfortable with this conversation as she was. " No one is going to know where you are. It's better that way. We hired the pilot and plane under assumed names…there not connected to us and once you board you can tell them where you want to go. We'll never know."

She shook her head, looking down at the frayed ends of her sweater cuffs. " Oh."

He stayed where he was, hadn't moved but felt closer, waiting with a patience that both irritated and unnerved her. She didn't know what he was waiting for and she had nothing to say. Nothing that he would want to hear anyway.

He must have been reading her mind because he said exactly what she knew he would.

His hand came up, stilled than rested next to her knee on the counter as he whispered, " Its better this way."

" You keep saying that," she murmured in a shaky but even voice.

His head tilted sideways, his brow hooding over his eyes as he tried to read her face. " Because it's true."

" I wish things were different." The words came out, expelling from her before she could rethink the danger of the territory she was voyaging into, the topic that would potentially scar her if she dug to deep and she didn't need the extra hurt to bring her down.

She heard him sigh, harsher, fuller, like the weight of the world existed in that one breath. " It doesn't matter. Either way."

Her head came up." What?"

He blinked, but easily masqueraded his expression to informal remote concern. " Either way, I could never be with you."

Her lungs closed off, but she squeezed by the pain to get the words out. " Because of the danger."

" Because of who I am." He stated matter of fact, standing straight and away from the huddle he had created between them. " It doesn't fit with who you are."

" How can you say that?" She said slowly, emotion spreading across her face and tone.

" After everything that happened."

" It's not that…" He ran a hand through his messy golden locks, gripped the ends in a tug to accent the weak manage he had over his anger. " Elizabeth, I'm not trying to hurt you. I want to be truthful. That's the only thing left I can give you."

" So this was just all about living in the moment for you?" She went to stand but he gripped her thigh and kept her in place. She ignored the warning in his eyes and his hand as she continued, " I mean I know it was. But it was more than that. I wouldn't..." She felt the tears coming and froze them out from what she needed to say "...I mean I couldn't have been with just anyone…I wanted to be with you because…it's you. Don't you get that? And maybe this was some kind of distraction, maybe you don't even realize-"

" No."

She wiped the first tear with a hard flick of her finger. " Maybe because I let my feelings show…"

" Stop." His eyes closed tight.

" I let my guard down," she concluded, clouded by what she was feeling, unaware of what she was missing when Jason's jaw squared like the worst kind of torture was being silently inflicted on him without her knowledge, "… and you were attracted to me so it made it seem like more and I took it as more…I was naïve enough to believe-"

" Stop!" He shouted letting go only to crowd her in her seat on the counter. " Stop it." He growled lowly but sharply into her face.

Their breathing hushed, hushed to silence only to rise, deeper and darker like the rhythm of their body's together inside. His eyes fell to her mouth, swirled liquidy blue as blaring desire unfolded throughout him. He leaned in, licking his lips, already tasting the flavor of her. His breathing hitched as his neck strained and his adam's apple bobbed.

The fuzzy sensation was coming at her in small doses. She wanted to give in…give in and let him do what he wanted to her, but she couldn't. A very conscious part of her knew the bleeding feeling her soul had been punctured with wasn't going to end…it was just beginning and Jason could only subside it for a moment and then it would be back again. Stronger than ever.

She had already lost. " No. No." She pushed at his chest and he immediately withdrew. "You…don't. Don't think you can just kiss me…take it away. I get it now."

" Get what?" He drove his hand through his hair and the frustrated action only served to make him look handsomer. " That you drive me fucking crazy."

Unperturbed and fairly immuned to his temper by now Elizabeth shot back swiftly. " I think I have stated more than once how much I despise that word."

His features were fixed, deliciously arrogant and unapologetic as he eyed her straight on. " Too bad."

" Fine."

" Good."

" Good."

" I'm going to go pack." She went to move but his hand was back on her thigh, this time there was no caress in his touch. His hold dared her to move and he had iron defiance in his eyes, taunting her to prove it.

" No." His mouth barely moved. " No you're not."

" You're an asshole." She provided with conviction.

Nothing stirred behind his eyes to even garner a glimpse of a reaction. " I've been called worse," he informed lowly. He sounded slightly amused, but there was still anger mixed in his features.

Except his stare which turned gray, a sore wounding quality that pricked at her heart.

" Is that supposed to surprise me. Because it doesn't ." She said with a little less fervor when she noticed there wasn't a trace left of pleasure in his face now.

" Please…" he whispered, hoarse, "Don't be upset."

" I'm not." She added quicker than necessary as she played with the end of her cuff again.

He tipped her chin up with his finger. He was glad she let him. " You're lying."

" No. I'm fine." She shrugged, shifting her jaw to the side to bite the inside of her mouth, smothering the emotion threatening to break her. "This is better like you said…"

" I never said it was better so that you'd hide from me. I'm trying to do what's right. And what's right is for you to be away from me. For good."

" Right." She answered emotionless, sniffling back the drip under her nose. " Right…so this doesn't have to go on. This can end, that's better, right? What the hell is so better?"

Obliterating what was left of his self control, Jason snapped, his stare ripping into her as he let his pain splurge out." That you'll be safe!" He roared, breathless, " Safe, don't you get that."

Disabled from thought or speech Elizabeth sat, and suddenly his agony became hers. One tear, just one, slipped from the corner of his eye. " Safe," she whispered.

" You think I could walk around, doing my fucking job if I knew you were in danger?" He yelled feverishly on the verge of mindless desolation. " You think I could live like that?"

" But Jason-"

" No. No. You listen to me. I can not…I will not have you in danger." He spoke sternly, his words directed at her, but it was like he was speaking to himself. His features were centric to his emotion… in their depletion of restraint. " There's no two ways about it. You need to be alive Elizabeth. I need to know you are safe…" he croaked out.

" But what if-"

" There are no what ifs." His hand sliced in the air. " You think I haven't thought about this. I haven't thought about any other options. There isn't any."

Her chest plate had to be cracking from the weight of emotion. It heaved in and out and she let herself be overcome. Crying, she wiped her soaked cheeks, barely mumbling out her words that were clogged with her tears. " I'm not strong enough to take this…I thought I was but I can't do this…"

" Elizabeth."

God, he sounded so wrecked up. " Jason, I don't want to lose you…not when I've just found you."

Cupping her face he brought it up, right below his as he leaned over. She immediately wiped the trail his tear had left. His eyes were glassy, his voice wobbly when he spoke but he sounded rigidly determined." I want you to do something for me."

" I can't."

" Shhh." He whispered, his mouth against hers. " Listen to me." She looked up at him, her eyes soggy and miserable, dangerously gorgeous in their temptation for him to get lost in them.

" I want you to live, you hear me….live for yourself. You've wasted so much time being scared. Change that. If I know you are out there somewhere happy…" He faltered, fought back the cry by swallowing and pressing his forehead into hers as he breathed out exhausted " … that's all I need. I'll be okay."

Her head twisted to turn out of his grasp but he wouldn't let her. He didn't know what he was asking." I don't know how," she hiccupped "…God, Jason, I need you-"

" No you don't. No you don't." The wall of tears in his eyes sprang out but didn't drop. His mouth frowned down into a piercing line as he bit back the urge to cry. " Let me tell you something…you, look at me. You are one of the bravest most fearless people I know. Do you know that. You have so much strength inside you. Look at all you've been through. What does that say? Elizabeth. I have never met anyone like you, anyone half as strong." He gripped her face harder. " You don't even know…"

" Please stop-"

" Do you know how much you have to give? You…" He sighed, falling short on words.

She was watching him now. Moved to the point of pain from what he was allowing her to see for the first time- the man he was inside. The person he never let out, for anyone. She was unable to say anything but his name. " Jason."

" You're beautiful." He confessed begrudgingly, as if he was enslaved by his emotion. "You're so goddamn beautiful…the way you laugh, the way you smile, the way you shy away…everything," he murmured softly, " …_everything_ about you makes me want you. That will never change, Elizabeth."

His thumbs rested on the plane of her cheeks, wiping away the rest of her tears, sinking into the cool smoothness of her skin." Promise me."

His stare was vivid, securely locked in concentration on her solely. To the point and downfall of her distraction. " I-I"

The rest of his fingers rested behind the shell of her ears, rubbing the sensitive spot, drawing her out. He whispered again, this time firmer, more inflexible." Promise me you'll live."

What else could she say? She was hopeless, fighting a losing battle. Her eyes closed and she vowed the words, meaning them only because she saw he needed to hear it. " I promise."

There was no relief, how could there be, but his shoulders relaxed from their stiff position, his nose buried into her cheek as she said, " Promise me _you'll_ be safe."

His answer came routinely. " I'll be fine."

She didn't like the casualness of his tone. " Jason." She arched a brow, pulling back a smidge to fully look at him.

The slight crooked grin he gifted her with was marred from the blatant ache that saturated his blue eyes, starving him from any chance at happiness. " I promise." He vowed, his voice husky and quiet.

She licked the residual tears that had plopped on her cheeks. She gulped them down, fixated on erasing the heaviness that lay in the air. If this was the last of their time together, she didn't want to spend it like this. " You know you're going to end up giving in one day. You're going to find some pretty girl, make her your wife…get a house in the suburbs…I can see it…" She joked half heartedly, placing the flat of her palm on the warm expanse of his chest, right where his heart lay.

He was still, immobile as he let out. " That can't happen."

" Because of your job." She surmised, glancing at his impervious but heated expression and blushing from the inside out when he didn't move to conceal the uncomfortable intensity he was displaying.

There was a silence, a heartbeat of a moment where she had no idea what would come next. Jason seemed on the edge of something, not breathing, a frozen statue under her.

He licked his lips, his eyes bobbing between hers, dosing her speechless in their striking exposure. " Because it won't be you."

When she didn't say or even blink to counter his words, he looked down, scraped his bottom lip with his teeth. He swallowed like it hurt to do it than locked his stare back on hers, tears peeking behind the crystal shimmer of his eyes. " You, right here…this…this is the closest I'll ever come to that dream. And it wasn't even a dream I wanted."

Stop, she wanted to yell, scream for a stop to this. It was torture hearing words like that knowing they could never be brought to fruition. She smiled tight signaling her need to end this before she lost all her sanity for good to him.

Jason read her instantly, wiping his hand down the side of her face, nudging her chin up with his thumb. " You're sick." He stated seriously.

" I'm okay." She insisted weakly, too worn to fight the stubbornness she saw set in his jaw.

" No. You're not. We got nothing here. Ill be gone for five minutes."

She smiled, her eyes drowsy, her body shrugged into a hunch position, spent from their conversation." Okay."

Disbelieving he leaned closer." Okay?"

" Yes." She giggled at his incredulity. He was so cute sometimes. She pushed at his chest. "Go. I'll be fine."

" It'll just be five minutes."

" I know."

" First, do me a favor."

" What?" She glanced from under her lashes.

" Kiss me." He ordered gently.

" Jason."

" Do it." He cupped the back of her knee, massaging the responsive skin with the tips of his fingers, his mouth already halfway down to hers.

And she obliged, cooperatively, willing. There was nothing he could ask that she wouldn't do. She knew that now. Being in love did that to a person.

* * *

His phone was ringing.

It was hard to hear over the noise of his heart. Over the last framed image of her in his mind.

Beautiful.

Bare in her beauty, reckless in her want for him…which he still couldn't understand.

The emotion gripped him in the aisle. He needed to get back there. He needed to have all the time he could with her. Everything was running out between him and her. Soon there would be nothing left and memories would only serve to screw with him. He'd die from the distraction she would bulldoze through him.

He squeezed the liquid medicine bottle in his hand. Sliced his hand through the air to grab the phone and bring it to his ear.

" What?" he barked out oblivious, his strides long as he made his way to the line of customers.

" Jason, fuck. Jason…Ritchie's dead."

Jason stopped in his place, almost tipping forward. " What?"

" I came to Sonny's penthouse. " Max explained, frantic. "No one picked up the phone and Ritchie had said he would be there…he's dead, so is Anthony."

His mind went numbly void, like a nuclear blast had just wiped away every inch of thought from him. " Where's Sonny?"

" I don't know man. No one knows where he is. He never came down the elevators. All our guys are in place. We don't know where the hell he went to. Jason, I think he knows. I think he knows everything. He's lost it man…"

After a second of getting his breathing under control, gulping for oxygen, Max realized Jason hadn't said anything. " Jason, Jason… are you there?"

And then buzz of the dial tone rang in his ear and Max understood. Jason was gone. If he knew the man like he thought he did, he was already midpoint to Elizabeth. Hopefully he wasn't too late.

* * *

She didn't like being without him.

Screw the cold.

She didn't care if she had pneumonia. As long as he was with her, she could handle it.

Elizabeth halted the avenue her thinking was going down. She couldn't go on like this. She wasn't going to be able to handle the rest of her life if she couldn't even make it five minutes without the man.

She tried to be impartial in her judgment of her actions. First loves were like that. They got a hold on you, took you through the ups and down at such a dramatic pace, Elizabeth didn't know where the girl who started out in this mess ended and where this new, grown up mature Elizabeth began.

Jason was right. She had to live. If not for herself then for him. She owed him her life. He had risked everything, the least she could do was conduct a decent future she could be proud of, make something of herself that would turn the heads of every family member. If she could indeed manage not to mess up what she had been given.

Knowing her…

She felt his hands snake around her waist, as usual the jump of her skin ran its course and she chuckled lightly. His hot breath fanned her ear, dropped to the pulse point.

" That was quick." She murmured, leafing through the tea bags.

" I thought it was about time we met."

The foreign tone, the musky scent hit her and she whipped around only to be jerked back against the body of the strange man. Her eyes widened then slit in recognition as the black orbs staring over her pulsed and dilated.

Her bones broke from the terror and she clutched on to the lapel of his suit jacket.

The birth of terror expanded, locking her jaw in place, stirring her stomach up as a fire trail of bile rose fiercely.

" Sonny-" she whispered

" Corinthos." He finished pleasantly, soothing. The menacing humorless black holes of his stare clawed at her, translating a deathly silent exchange that didn't necessitate words. " It's nice to finally meet you, Elizabeth Webber."


	36. Chapter 36

" _Don't wait. The time will never be just right." Napoleon Hill. _

He already knew she wasn't there.

Even before the SUV screeched to a stop and he threw open the door with his boot, shooting to his feet and to the house like a crazed man, reckless in his actions, Jason didn't have to be inside to know she was gone.

The cabin and all that embodied the scenic country picture of house and land was eerily still. Picture perfect like a faraway movie shot right before the surprise twist.

His eyes swept the front door, taking in that it wasn't ajar or broken in any way that would have informed him there was danger about. If he hadn't been warned, Jason admitted quickly in that second, he wouldn't have had the slightest inkling that Sonny had come and gone.

But he had gone. He had to. Sonny was too smart to stay there, knowing Jason was on his way back.

He should have never left. What the fuck was he thinking leaving her?

Five minutes. Fives fucking minutes he had told himself he would be. He had ripped into Max about letting Elizabeth take walks on their own grounds and look what he had done.

He drew his gun from under his shirt, popped the safety off with a slight graze from the pad of his thumb. He let it lay imperceptibly at his side as he made his way in. Sonny was unpredictable at best. Who knew what lay in his leave to intercept Jason's attempt to rescue Elizabeth.

He did a quick but diligent sweep of the foyer before making his way slowly into the other room.

The stillness bothered him.

It was too quiet. Too silent for his liking. Especially with all the thunder crashing around in his head.

Elizabeth, her face, kept playing through his mind, repeating through him. And every time her features grew darker, more distant, the longer he allowed himself to fester and focus on the pervading image.

He had to get to her.

He had to get her out of this.

He checked the bedrooms, gun drawn but relaxed as he habitually went through each room. He wasn't expecting Sonny or Elizabeth, but just in case there was a clue, a message she might have left when Sonny's wasn't paying attention, he wanted to make sure he had exhausted all possibilities.

He scanned the living room, saw nothing. The kitchen was the last place he hit since it was so open and probably wouldn't provide much of a lead.

He jolted to a stop when he noticed the jar of tea bags lying scattered on the counter, the teapot humming on the stove and about to whistle. Jason felt like his heart had been stabbed with a scolding hot poker.

He slammed his gun onto the counter, gripping the edge, making his skin reddened as his knuckles whitened.

The anger that ran through him, took control, crushed against him for release. Head down he tried to push the image of her away. This time her snow white skin was bathed in blood, raining down her face with no avail. The gruesome picture almost knocked him off balance.

The countertop creaked under him and he realized he had been holding his breath, searching for strength where there was none. The pain ricocheted throughout him, didn't deter from making his vision whiten and his stomach knot.

He ripped off his coat, feeling suffocated by the leather. He wanted to destroy something. He needed to kill and he never in his life thought his best friend would be on the other end of the bloodlust that overcame him.

Then the phone rang.

He grabbed it from his pocket, saw his hand shake and cursed himself for the weakness.

He needed to be strong. For her.

Getting her out of this was his only goal, him and Sonny be damned.

He clicked the button, stayed silent as his stare searched for some vague piece of nature outside. He needed to stay neutral. It was mandatory that he be calm.

But right now, even he couldn't quell the demonic rage that rushed for satisfaction when he heard the man on the other end just breath into the phone.

" Where is she?" The steady timbre of his voice vibrated.

Sonny snickered callously on the other end. " Safe. With me."

" Let her go, Sonny." Jason's demand was plainly delivered.

" Jason. Come on." Sonny said colloquially as if they were discussing the weather or any other mundane topic their usual daily conversations included. " You know I can't do that."

Jason's voice didn't stray from its remote tone, but it deepened drastically as he whispered in a soft lethal voice. " I'm not asking again Sonny. Let her go."

" Not an option. Besides you have something I want."

Jason bit down on the tip of his tongue, tasted the pain and blood and was glad he had something to focus on besides the blinding anger. Fuck the games. He wanted her back. That's it. But Sonny didn't do simple. He had to play games, drag the other person out until they submitted themselves body and soul.

" What's that?" Jason questioned bored.

" You can have Elizabeth. Just give me her family in return." Sonny offered slyly.

There was no second guessing his immediate response. " No."

" Then I guess we're at an impasse." He actually sounded pleased at the conclusion.

" I guess so." Jason agreed lowly " I want Elizabeth and her family too."

" Well so do I." Sonny interjected.

"You want them dead Sonny. There's a difference." Jason pointed out, his voice rising momentarily.

Jason could hear the other man's ritualistic stall tactic come into effect. Perfect timing. " How much is it going to take Jason." The challenge in Sonny's words made Jason's hand curl into a tight fist. " How much?" Each word like the stab of a spear in Jason's side.

" Moneys not the issue." Jason spat out, just as ice cool and impartial as was his customary approach.

" Right." Sonny made no effort to hide his disbelief.

Suddenly, something clicked in Jason's head. Sonny wanted to play games? Fine, he had brought him into this business and taught him everything he knew. Jason had to be wise and use that to his advantage. It was the only weapon at his disposal that might be able to save Elizabeth.

" Where are you?"

Sonny ignored his question." Meet me at the Monday corner drop, on the lower east side. Midnight. We'll talk then."

Jason nodded, took the pencil and jotted the information down on the countertop since there was no paper available near him. " Yeah."

" Have her family there. Alone." Sonny pronounced, curling the phone chord around his finger, weaving it in and out as he eyed the slight small object in the distance. " If I even catch a whiff of another guy with you I'll kill her."

Jason swallowed the sting of his threat along with the fear and anger it produced inside him. He fought to control the residual storm of rage and death that was his instinctual gut reaction, taunting him to kill and let go of the beast inside him.

But he held it all under a thin wrap of control as he answered coolly. " Done."

" See ya then." Sonny said flippantly, accenting the last word before he hung up. "Friend."

* * *

" Max."

" Jason, what the hell is going on?"

" I don't have time to talk. Listen. Get Bruce, bring them down to the Monday drop point where you guys usually pick up the merchandise. He's got to be there by mid night."

" Okay, but what's going on?" Max stuttered.

" Do it." Jason barked, his mind like a missile aimed only on the present problem. " Sonny's got Elizabeth." His voice wavered for a fraction of a second.

Max heard him, ignored the unusual occurrence and stammered out, " Shit. Jason…I'm sorry."

" Just get him there by a quarter to twelve," He ordered, ignoring Max and the genuine sorrow in his voice. " Call me when you arrive."

" Got it. Anything else?" Max offered.

" I'll instruct you what we're doing once you get there. Be careful."

" Okay." Max said thoughtfully. He hesitated a moment then spoke, " Jason, do you know what you're doing?"

" Yeah. Whatever it takes to save Elizabeth." Jason stated with irritating obviousness, his voice hitching up when he said her name.

" Alright, man. Done."

" Good. Thanks."

Jason clicked the phone off and threw it on the passenger's seat, eyeing the road ahead. He gripped the wheel, pulled back on the urge to floor the rest of the way. The last thing he needed was to get caught by a cop for speeding. His priority was Elizabeth, getting her out of this, making sure she was safe and away from Sonny's diabolical clutches.

Jason had miscalculated and now Elizabeth was paying.

Tears burned behind his lids, mocking him. His hands tightened around the wheel, barely resisting the furious need to yank the wheel from its position.

Never again.

Out of everyone he ever knew, she was the last person on earth who deserved to be going through this. She was pure and sweet and too fucking good for this life.

People like her, innately kind and selfless, he never really believed they existed. Maybe in books or movies, but no one he'd ever crossed paths with.

She was the last person in the world who should have to suffer any kind of torment because of the life he had chosen to live.

Jason's head shook, his jaw hardening as a he tried to squelch the painful volt going through him.

He vowed silently to himself.

No matter what it took, never again.

* * *

The Sonny Corinthos she had heard about and the man that stood circling around her contradicted one another.

Yes, this was the man who ordered the death of her father, who wanted her killed along for his troubles and just-in-case purposes, but even so, Elizabeth had pictured him differently. Cool and collected, the complete embodiment of subtle sophistication.

She had glanced on occasion to candid photos from newspapers and sometimes when her curiosity refused to stifle, she'd tried to find whatever clippings and information she could at the local libraries microfilm collection or internet.

There was never much. All the articles always involved alleged crime incidents, failed attempts at arrest, and almost fatal mob hits provoked by a war bigger than any department or agency could speculate on.

Still she wondered and now that her curiosity was being fulfilled at such an up front level, she wished she had been right. There was no charm, no sphinx-like smile that perked up his eyes, making them dance and sparkle with mystery.

This was a man desperate, on the verge of being outwitted by his own madness and no one was there to draw him away, force him to think through the sickness of his mental state.

He didn't yield in his continuous pacing, moving back and forth like a person very much at their end. Wherever they were it was cold. Four gray walls, one small room, that was all she had been made aware of.

She tried to hide the shiver that crawled up her body and the noticeable way it made her shake, but she was freezing beyond the limit of her weak control and the fact that she had a cold didn't help matters.

He hadn't tied her down, hadn't even necessarily threatened her yet.

She didn't know if that was good or bad. He told her to move, quietly, and she had done so. Other than that he seemed plagued and in his own world.

His frantic pacing stopped, the hand over his mouth falling and he looked down at her in the small metal chair as if her presence had just become apparent to him.

" So you're Elizabeth Webber."

His black eyes were shiny gleaming at her like the tops of his black hair. He looked pleased and she wasn't sure to take that as a good sign or not." Yes."

His mouth pinched together, his eyes doing a quick perusal. Again she couldn't tell whether he was frowning or smiling, but her body reacted by clenching together in one simultaneous action.

He licked his lips, making them shiny too. " Just trying to figure out what all the fuss is about."

She gulped, only answering because he looked at her like he was waiting for one." Fuss?"

" You're a child compared to Jason. Do you realize that?" He stepped closer, one side of his body leaning in like he was telling her something only she should know.

She read his eyes and saw his blatant scour instantly. " I-I-"

" You think you know him. Got it all figured out, don't you?" His tone was crystal clear in its attempt to demean her. He was playing a game. She didn't know if it was smarter to keep her mouth shut or play along, but maybe if she kept him talking the time would go by faster and Jason would…he would what?

Elizabeth wasn't even sure he even knew she was missing.

Planted in front of her, Sonny's eyes were hungry in their taunt and she sprayed her retort back before she could think better of it. " I know Jason well enough."

" Well enough for what? Because you slept with him you think you got him figured out?" He laughed, it came straight from his gut. He wiped the sheen of nervous sweat from his forehead, clutching his side. " Aw, come on, sweetie. I know you're young but even you should know that's naïve."

She ignored him and the way his impulsive, unpredictable nature frightened her. " Please don't hurt him or may family," she whispered.

Her plea died at his feet, untouched by her dramatics. He played the pensive card expertly anyway. " Well see."

" What does that mean?" she asked, her face dropping. She couldn't give up. Not now.

Scraping the corner of his mouth with his finger, Sonny moved to the gray wall on her left, leaning his back against it with one foot propped up against it as well. But even in the casual state, he never seemed to relax. " Jason was definitely right about you being the mouthy type."

She used the insult to her advantage, deciding to turn the question on him, shift the balance. " You talked to him about me?"

Sonny went along, eyed her with a knowing glance that stole her preparatory thoughts and froze her fear inside her, dropping like a lead ball. " Oh yeah. All the time. He told me you helped him, saved his life, and now he feels he owes you I guess. Or did he make it seem like more. Because you know Jason doesn't do commitments."

" I know." She tossed back just as callously, arching a brow, the nerves under her skin wobbling.

" Oh good." He reiterated, exteriorly pleased.

She didn't like the deadened abandonment in his eyes, black, barely noticeable but clearly felt. " He was trying to help me."

" By going against me. I don't know if you realize this little girl but I picked Jason up from the streets. I made him the man he is today. Nothing is going to change that. Especially a nobody like you."

He spoke the words so lightly it was hard for her to take offense. The man was sick, deluded. Her head shook, the shadows around his eyes darkened, making it almost impossible for her to talk but she had no choice." He just didn't want to hurt my family…he didn't mean…You can just send us away, it wont matter now."

" Wont matter now?" He pushed himself off the wall, using his leg. " Now that you ruined everything." He swaggered closer, " Seven years of friendship, of successful partnership for…a piece of tail? That's not Jason. He's got bigger expectations."

" It's not like that." She hated how small she sounded under him.

" Then what's it like? Jason doesn't do promises, sweetie. He doesn't like strings or attachments of any kind." He bent forward, his face occupying her vision until it was the only thing she was being forced to see. There was so much evil in his face, she couldn't give him a straight stare without her body recoiling.

He leaned closer. "He doesn't think that way. So if he led you to believe that he was in it for some long haul…"

" He wanted to help me. That's all he was doing." Her voice cracked and she used the edge of her front teeth to subdue the cry that rose and staggered in her throat.

" From the description my guard gave me it looked like a little more than help." He whispered, snickering. " I hope it was worth it."

She felt one tear draw a wet line down her face and when she heard him laugh she threw daggers his way. " You're disgusting." She stated with obvious revulsion.

Sonny shrugged, tilting his head to get a better look at her pain." I'm more than disgusting. So is Jason."

" Jason's ten times the man you are." She defended, angered that he would even dare compare himself to the Jason she knew was real. She didn't care how long Sonny and Jason had known one another. " He's decent and kind and he-"

" Oh lady please." It was his turn to sound disgusted. He straightened, glaring at her to check if her behavior was in fact sincere. Surprise flickered in his emotionless orbs.

" Jason, wow, …he's better than I thought. It was an act. Can't you see that? He felt guilty. Anything more is your childish delusional, sweetie."

" Jason-"

" Don't you tell me about Jason!" His hand sliced through the air, his jaw quivering in rage, eliminating the last sounds of her breathing. " I practically raised that kid. I made him into the man he is. You think you know him because you spent some time with him? I got an eye opener for you then. Jason Morgan is a cold blood killer. My killer. He kills people on my orders, when I say, where I say, no questions asked. He has been doing this for me for years. Don't preach to me about who Jason Morgan is."

He came closer again and her eyes shut on instinct. The wild fire of hate in his stare was unbearable against her fainting will. " If you think you know that man in any way," he pointed at her, " you don't. If he told you he wanted you, fine, he's man, but if Jason made it out to be anything more than to get into your fucking pants, he lied."

His eyes trailed up her body and she shivered in her skin. " Must've been easy," he sneered.

" Fuck you." She whispered, her jaw hardening into an unforgivable line.

" Ooo, the girls got a mouth." Sonny bent down, leaning his hands on his knees. " I like." His voice lingered.

She didn't like the way he was looking at her. Like he had detached his soul from the moment, separated himself from whatever humanity he had left inside him. She twisted, giving him only a small glimpse of her profile. "Jason's not going to like this. You know that much about him."

" He'll get over it. He always does. And in the end he always sees my side and does what I need." He murmured, goading her. " Don't think this is about you."

" You think he's just going to kill me and my family? Drop our bodies in some river-" she yelled, but she heard the desperate groove in every crack of her voice. Why couldn't she be strong like Jason had said she was? Did that girl even exist?

" I'll let you in on a little secret."

She felt his breath on her throat and her body reacted by dodging the close proximity and shifting away. He grabbed a chunk of hair, forcing her to face him, look him the eye and take in all the garbage he was spewing.

" This isn't about you. Jason is a business man. First and foremost. He wants something from this, but its not you. It was never you. Maybe advancement, maybe his own territory, who knows. But if you think this whole fucking job was about saving you and your worthless family, I got news for you honey, you're wrong." He jerked her closer. " Dead wrong."

He let go, wiped his hand on his suit pants like she had contaminated him. He looked down at her, his gaze both pitying and pompous." I'll give you a tip though. If you're a betting woman, the odds are stacked way against you honey. Don't do it." He shook his head, glancing at his watch before he looked back at her. " Don't put your stock in Jason…you'll be thoroughly disappointment."

* * *

The sky was just as black as his mood when he considered the disastrous outcome that sat inevitable before him. His blocked mind went over the other avenues that would be just as risky if not more than as this particular approach. But there were none. There were too many roadblocks, too many what ifs to take a bigger chance. Especially if it meant putting Elizabeth's life in deeper jeopardy than it was.

He refused to endanger her further. This was the one time he had to play it safe, but if Sonny gave him no choice…if push came to shove, Jason was going to have to play his wild card whether he wanted to or not.

" You don't move." He ordered with stone severity. His face was still forward, watching, as he gave his indisputable directions.

The silence in the blue SUV was only broken by the small anxious trembles of Bruce Webber's breathing.

" Elizabeth isn't a bargaining chip. She shouldn't be involved in this at all."

" That's not something I can help now." Jason divulged dryly, inwardly cringing at his own aloof front. Sometimes it came to inhumanely easy to be this way, but then again, he wasn't exactly a fan of Elizabeth's father. " Maybe you should have considered your children's safety before you started stealing from Sonny."

Leather creaked. Bruce kneeled closer, ignoring Jason's unpleasant glower at the nearness. " I thought I was. I was only going to take a little, you know."

" No." Jason eyed his rearview mirror than went back to staring at the skyline. " I don't."

" I never meant for this to happen. We were so poor and our kids they just…everything was a struggle."

Jason saw the wink of headlights blur two by two down the busy street. His brow lowered, his jaw stiffening as a smug expression filtered his features. " Everyone struggles. That's no excuse."

" You're self righteous bastard." Bruce said with little passion, his anxiety pushing aside his usual calm manner.

" I bet you told Elizabeth everything, huh? I bet you couldn't wait to paint me as the bad man in this. Like some monster. We'll you're no goddamn better. You hear me? You kill people for a living. I stole some money, so what. It was money I damn well deserved and earned from slaving for that man you call your boss."

Massaging his temple with the slightest pressure from the tips of his two fingers, Jason wanted to relieve the ache, the noise building up inside him, another way. He knew a more efficient solution would be to pound the man hovering behind him into muted oblivion, but he didn't think Elizabeth would be too happy with the outcome when she saw how far his needed relief could evolve once started.

He unlocked the door, put his boot between the door and the ledge as he looked back to his unwanted companion. " Whatever goes down. You stay here."

" But if-"

" But nothing. You listen to what I say and show yourself only when I say to." The dark roll of his order fell on Bruce Webber's shoulders. " Are we clear?"

Knowledge crackled in Bruce's worn gray eyes as they bobbed between Jason's ice blue ones. " You care for her." There was no question in his observation.

Posed like a block of breathing granite, the man's unasked for opinion didn't distraction Jason's small purpose. " I asked are we clear. Are we?"

Bruce's head shook. " Yes. We're clear."

Jason held his stare for a hard consuming minute than got the rest of the way out of the car and slammed the door behind him.

Just as he stepped out from driver's seat he saw the black limo creep up in the small alley.

There was nothing but the sounds of the city surrounding the small dark corner. The echoes of murmurs from passer byers filled the air. The sporadic honk from angry taxi drivers along with the aroma of hot pretzels and garbage permeated his nostrils with an all too familiar smell.

Sonny didn't wait for the limo to roll to a complete stop. Which was a bad sign for him.

He was looking jumpy again, ready to come out of skin. His dark eyes searched and found Jason without much work.

Leaning against the brick wall opposite the stretched limo, Jason was busy picking his boss and former friend apart, trying to decipher how delicately to play this. If there didn't have to be blood shed he would gladly avoid the messy massacre.

Not for his or Sonny's sake, but for the poor innocent woman that had been dragged into this.

There was no wasting time. Such a luxury was something he had taken for granted. He should have never…

Shaking his head, Jason cleared his mind; his glare a furnace of contained fury as he met Sonny's dark imposing figure.

Breaking contact for a second Jason flicked a look at his surroundings, his face hardening as he quickly and easily found Sonny again. He glanced at the tinted window of the car, knowing she was only feet away and halting the jump in his bones to get to her.

" Where is she?" He asked in an easy but rough voice.

Head tilted, Sonny opened his arms, his face dispassionate. " Show me a family member."

" I want to see her first."

His head shook, throwing the idea a way with an absurd huff. " Not until we talk."

Jason shrugged, the blue in his eyes sedating. "Nothing to talk about."

" I beg to differ." Sonny interjected, his tone bordering on irrational. There was an uncompromisable hate in his eyes. " You lied to me, Jason. You lied to me."

Contrary to his bosses overt behavior, Jason barely moved to breathe as he whispered, " You gave me no choice."

" You could have told me how you felt!"

" She was a means to an end to you, Sonny." Jason stated matter of fact, his tone dipping to a depth that made him sound scratchy and used. " You never planned to let her live. From the first second I told you what happened, your first thought was to kill her."

" And you agreed."

" I went along." Jason corrected.

" Because that's what you do. You trust me." Sonny pointed out, waving his hands around before settling them in his pant pockets. " I've been in this business longer than you've been alive, Jason. In the past there was no second guessing between us."

" You underestimated me. I know how to take care of things. If you wanted to think that I was only there to do your dirty work, fine. I didn't care. You wanted the credit and I wanted the freedom being a silent partner provided, but things are different now." Jason informed lowly, stepping in the middle to bridge the difference and glare at Sonny head on.

" Because of this fucking bitch?" Sonny's words held no malice, but there was a spark of a test in his black gaze. " Huh?"

Nostrils flaring Jason whispered the warning, knowing full well how dirty Sonny liked to play." Don't."

Sonny chuckled, his chest rising as he scratched the corner of his mouth and for a second he reminded Jason of the carefree man he used to be. But that man no longer existed it seemed. " Jason, come on. How did this happen? What changed…we're friends, you were like a brother to me."

" I knew that once I made this decision you would never be able to forgive me." Jason admitted unsympathetically.

" That's right."

" But also I realized from this that you and me are nothing alike. I looked up to you Sonny. You were the family I never had. You brought into this life and showed me what I thought was happiness. But underneath all that, I figured we had a common goal. Stay powerful, in control, and do what we love to do. I thought that made us not only successful business partners but friends."

He spoke from under hooded eyes, guarded and at war with whether to continue making this personal or get on with the business end of things. He couldn't ignore their past though and Sonny knew that. " But we're not alike. I may have killed on your orders and worked the system to your advantage, but there's a big difference between you and me. I couldn't let Elizabeth die then anymore than I could let her now."

Sonny snickered, dismissing Jason's version of the truth. " Don't play this fucking game with me Jason. You understood the stakes going in. I told you we weren't honorable men, that the ends had to justify the means now matter how fucked up things got."

" Doesn't matter now." Jason tossed away his excuse with a shrug and a careless frown. " You want to think I betrayed you I can't stop you, but I'm not sorry for what I did."

" You're telling me this Elizabeth Webber is the reason for all this?" He pointed toward the car. " Suddenly now you've seen the light, found some salvation through her?"

He didn't like him saying her name. He didn't like Sonny talking about what happened between him and Elizabeth like he knew all about it. But with everything else that was going down, he had no choice, but to take it.

" No. I am who I am and she knows that. But she made me see that not everyone is as screwed up as you and I. I'm not going to take anything away from her that brings her closer to what she deserves. She's a good person…she saved my life when she didn't even know who I was. She helped me."

Shuffling his feet, Sonny answered in a bored manner. " Sounds like misplaced gratitude if you ask me."

" I didn't. And I don't plan on explaining anymore." Jason returned his glare back to the car door, wishing he could just grab her and go, but his features remained detached and in place as he continued. " You want my explanation that was it. Anything more between me and Elizabeth is none of your goddamn business."

" Come on, Jason. You know its not going to last." Sonny actually had the nerve to sound parentally concerned as he shared his opinion. "Whatever is going on with the two of you, it's temporary. And if you really cared for her you would let it go now. Before it's too late."

Immobile, Jason's set his glare over Sonny's shoulder, forcing himself to rein his spontaneous temper in." Like I said, not your concern."

" So does this sweet innocent girl know that you care for her so much? You plan on having her in your life, raising ten kids? What? What future could you really give her?" Sonny's voice ripped through the night air. " You know this business will kill her in the end. Is that what you want? Jason, there is no life with a woman by your side and you letting her think there is one is just as messed up as what you're doing to me."

" I'm done discussing things. Let her go," he demanded with a wild snarl.

Sonny didn't look particularly impressed. " Give me her family."

" Not until I see for myself that Elizabeth is okay." He was breathing heavy. He had to stop, gain some fucking control before he snapped and lost it. Next thing he knew he was going to have his hands wrapped around Sonny's neck and that would be the end of it.

Sonny grinned, the corners of his mouth pinching together. " Fine."

Sonny retrieved her, only using his one hand to yank her from the arm outside. Jason took the small second to eye around him. The building opposite him was high. Sonny could have back up.

Sonny jerked at her arm, bringing her plastered against him." Tell him you're fine."

Jason froze, tried to screen his reaction to seeing her but he knew it didn't work. She looked so tiny in that big sweater. Fragile and young, not someone who should be mixed up in this disaster. Her hair was falling around her face and he could barely read her expression.

In that moment he wanted badly for her to look at him.

He saw her chin wobble right as her glassy vacant eyes climbed up to meet his. His gut squeezed mercilessly in pain when he heard her weak response. " I'm fine."

Jason was fixed on her." Did he hurt you?"

Her head shook, but she seemed to be somewhere else entirely." No."

" Now we negotiate." Sonny announced pleased as he watched the exchange volley between them unabashedly.

Fuck. He needed to end this. She looked so weak, about to collapse. " The exchange has changed Sonny." His eyes darted back to Sonny only for a second before landing back on her. " You give me Elizabeth or you lose the business. All of it."

Sonny's shoulder's stiffened just as his eyes sucked all the air out of the alley, black holes of endless contempt. " Excuse me?"

Jason would be a liar if he said the look didn't frighten him. A dribble of fear cascaded in slow inches down his spine. But the unfamiliar feeling wasn't for himself

His eyes did a quick imperceptible shift to the woman next to him then back to Sonny. " Prozzi's not happy with you. From the beginning he was reluctant to link names with you, but you offered more money. I spoke with him and he's willing to back me since I made it clear to him that I was thinking of branching off with my own territory."

" That's bullshit. Everyone knows you work for me. You're my glorified hit man Jason. Don't you assume you hold more weight around here than you do. I made you and I can destroy you if I think it's necessary."

" That's what you thought and I let you." He hoarsely let out, his voice escalating from the superciliousness of Sonny's version of the truth. "You don't think your partners haven't offered me more power, more money to join them? I didn't because I felt like I owed you. I thought you were a man with a conscience, who had some kind of soul."

" Like you?" Sonny purred, shaky in his rage. " Elizabeth's going to see the monster you really are Jason. Stop the fucking act!"

" I'm not the one acting. You're a desperate man Sonny. A man who can't handle the pressure of this business. You've become paranoid, a liability…you can't deal with what goes down anymore. I thought it was temporary but it's not. You and I both know it. The other partners see it. You're done!"

" This is my payment for what I've done for you?" Sonny's tone treaded past the formality of his trademark control. " This is what I get back. After all the years I dragged your ass along side mine."

" You can have your precious empire back. Give me Elizabeth." Jason was back to his dull whisper, knowing his apathetic nature infuriated Sonny to no end.

" How you do you know I wont just kill her right now…before I even give her back to you."

Jason had the nerve to cock one corner of his mouth up. "Because you'd be dead before you even moved to go for your gun. Don't forget Sonny, I'm a faster draw than you."

" What if I offered you more money than Prozzi, more power?"

" Keep talking."

Jason ignored Elizabeth as her eyes widened and fell on him. Sonny didn't catch it." I'll give you anything you want, more titles, you can have your own territory, make decisions on contracts…whatever man."

" And?"

Sonny paused, hiding the indulgence his request would grant him. " I get the father."

" Just the father." Jason clarified, his eyes twinkling, his brow peaking in interest.

" Jason." Elizabeth couldn't cover the disbelief in her voice.

Jason kept his eyes firm on Sonny. " How do I know you won't retaliate on Elizabeth and the rest of her family?"

" You can send them away…" Sonny shrugged off the details, his stare back on the SUV to Jason's left "...just like you were going to. I'll never know."

Scratching his jaw, Jason seemed to contemplate the makeshift deal they had just put together." Okay."

Elizabeth's voice tore through the thin blanket of temporary civility. " Jason. What the hell are you doing?"

Sonny didn't waste anymore time." Bring him out."

Jason's stare swung to the car before falling to the ground. " Bruce. Out. Now."

Her father didn't hesitate. His feet hit the pavement, the door lunging out. Jason planted a firm look his way. " Don't take another step."

His eyes came back around to Sonny's. He still hadn't looked at Elizabeth." Give me her."

Sonny didn't wait. He smiled abundantly pleased as he shoved her at him. He stepped closer to Bruce than his eyes flittered up at the rooftop parallel to him.

Jason grabbed Elizabeth, cupping her head with one hand and pushing her hair out of her face with the other to get a better look and see for himself that she was okay. He didn't have time. Elizabeth hit his hand away, scratching at the barricade of his arms for release as she watched her father willingly step toward Sonny.

" No, Dad….Jason…" she sobbed angrily, desperately, as her body wriggled for freedom Jason wouldn't allow. "How could you do this?" she roared.

Sonny nodded, his arm came around to Bruce's shoulder as if reacquainting himself with an old lost friend. " Bruce." He greeted happily appeased. " It's about time."

Sonny led him to the limo and Bruce went without trouble or resistance; his eyes never leaving his daughter as he conveyed a silent message. There was only fatherly concern mixed with a tinge of fright as he whispered mutely, " I'll be okay."

Elizabeth struggled, one arm whipping out only to be suppressed and flattened at her side by Jason's iron clasp. " Please…" her head fell forward. " Jason stop them. Why are you doing this? Sonny…Mr. Corinthos," she swallowed, " Please…whatever you want I can get for you. Please, there are other ways to handle this!"

Sonny turned, witnessing Elizabeth's small quivering body as she shook from outrage. He smiled with a tinge of sympathy that would have passed as genuine if it were surveyed by any stranger.

The façade of sympathy vanished as an ancient carnal satisfaction took over. " Now we all have what we want." He finished in a whisper, his eyes taking a quick dash above them both. " Good doing business with you Jason. But if I were you, I'd leave the country before I change my mind. I promised not to try and find them. I never said anything about you."

Jason remained the silent statue. He didn't answer. He knew Sonny wasn't looking for one because the man turned and sat, closing the door and any perception from sight of what was about to take place.

The limo engine grumbled to life before progressing forward at a soft unhurried pace. Jason and Elizabeth watched, both still for entirely different reasons. Jason's eyes closed tight, the time for thinking twice was done. Sonny had done exactly what he thought he would do. He had taken the bait. Now he had to act and act without reservation. After all he had vowed to keep her safe. Whether she liked it or not.


	37. Chapter 37

_He who seeks vengeance must dig two graves: one for his enemy and one for himself Chinese Proverb_

Overcome with raw anger, Elizabeth's arms came flailing up, hitting Jason hard on the chest. He didn't try to block the punches, he deserved this. From her devastated foggy perspective, he had traded her father's life for hers and that was an unforgivable act no daughter could understand, let alone pardon.

" How could you do that?" she wept in between the fight to control her tears. Her forehead came down to lean on Jason's chest; at war with herself, wanting to be comforted by the same man she wanted to beat to a bloody pulp.

The trembles of her body seeped into his, but he forced himself still like he was tied down with invisible rope . This wasn't the time or the place.

Her head came up again, strands of hair lay over her mournful swollen features, slashing her face into pieces, giving her a desperate wild look he didn't like. His arms moved up but she slapped them away.

" I thought I could trust you…" she pushed hard, so hard he actually fell a step back," ….I don't care what you thought about my father. He didn't deserve this…"

Another shove.

There was an only a mere second between Elizabeth's fist coming down on him and the ricochet of the bullet hitting the brick wall opposite them for Jason to react properly.

He heard the shot too late, so caught up in Elizabeth's pain. Thank god the bullet had missed.

Grabbing her by the wrist he dragged her unyielding weight. She used the only advantage she had by digging her heels into the pavement. It slowed him down too long for his liking but whoever the shooter was, he was a bad shot and luckily they weren't far from the small awning of one of the back entrances of whatever shop was in front.

He didn't mean to be rough with her but had no choice. He threw her with his around hers into the wall. Securing themselves under the small shield of the paper thin blockade.

" Get off me!" Her knee came up and she actually got a good kick in when he went for his gun making Jason's side vulnerable for her hit.

" I'm not staying with you." Elizabeth seethed, still unaware of the present danger that had leaped on them. She slapped his face, her nail grazing his cheek, leaving evidence of her attack with a straight red line.

He jammed the hammer of his gun down, focused on the immediate problem and nothing else. Unperturbed by her excessive antics, he only watched her threw slit eyes before going back to what he was doing.

Another shot rang out, hitting to the corner of Jason's right shoulder.

Elizabeth froze then she sputtered into action, every emotion dawning in on her at once.

" Oh my…what are you-"

He pressed himself into her, allowing a little more space between the shots and them.

" Listen to me." He ordered, covering her mouth when she opened it to argue.

She shook her head, tried to bite her way through his palm, but he jerked her against the wall. " You. Listen to me. I got to get you out of here."

" Screw you." She mumbled through his hand. Her face was bright red and her nostrils were winged out in blooming fresh anger.

" Don't move. You hear me? Don't fucking move. We're safe under here right now."

She didn't say anything but her contemptuous stare flung a hated curse his way, so tangible Jason blinked for a second.

He let go of her, knowing her had to and slid next to her, leaning his back against the wall, shoulder to shoulder with her. He peeked his head out to take a few undirected shots, let the guy know he was there and armed.

With his other hand he retrieved his phone from his front pocket, found the right buttons and dialed blindly. The shooter, who was unidentifiable in black, moved over a bit, his shots closer to where they were sheltered.

He pushed Elizabeth with his shoulder and she moved along willingly this time, numb and pale by his side.

He darted a look out, saw a glimpse of black and shot a couple more times before going back under the small awning and putting the phone to his ear.

Max picked up on the second ring.

" Where are you?" Jason barked.

" I'm here. I'm right around the corner like you said to be."

Jason whispered calmly despite the danger looming over them. " I need you now. I'll be out in five minutes. I need you to take her and run."

" Got it."

The phone clicked. Jason breathed out, readying himself, gulping down what felt like galloons of much needed air. His lungs burned from the pressuring build up. He was used to these moments, they were a part of him like anything else. Some people remembered falling off their bikes when they were twelve or getting into a car wreck that almost cost them their lives- Jason lived, remembered himself and the years, according to the times he almost died, the people he killed along the way.

But never once had he had a woman by his side. Someone else he had to account for.

" Look at me."

She complied immediately. Her huge saucer eyes pricked with tears and assorted pain he chose to ignore for the moment. He had to if he wanted them both to live. " I need you to run when I say so."

She shook her head almost immediately. Jason took that as a good sign. " The cars right there. It's unlocked. I'm going to cover you. When I say go, you go."

Her head came down and he was prepared to argue, shake her into submission if need be, but all she did was shake, tiny tremors quaking the flesh of her lower lip. " Okay."

He didn't mean to come off emotionally vacant, especially now. She was scared, she needed him, but now was not the time. " Okay. You ready?"

" Yeah." She swallowed, slid her body in front of him. His hand came around, molding her shoulder. He squeezed the skin their tight, kissed the soft crown on her head so lightly, he knew she didn't feel it. He was glad she didn't.

" Go." He yelled.

She ran off like a jackrabbit and he followed, pointing his gun up and firing as he ran behind her. He heard the car door slam and the small pinch of worry in his gut subsided an inch.

She was safe.

His hand curved around the car latch, his eyes up. He fired randomly, hoping he had hit something, but he was sure whoever was up there was probably waiting for him to get in the car to follow him.

He threw the door open, turning the keys that were already in the ignition. Slicing the gear into drive, his foot was on the gas screeching forward as they raced out the alley.

The gun shots were more distant this time but felt only a scant breath away from them.

Jason whipped the large car around the corner, thanking god it was in the middle of the night and not any other time. Manhattan was crowded no matter what time of day, but at least now he could maneuver around quickly without too much hassle.

Elizabeth sat frozen and stiff next to him.

They were in the car for what had to be ten seconds before he pulled behind another group of buildings. This time there was a truck there waiting for them.

The car stopped. Jason killed the ignition and shoved the door open roughly. When he realized Elizabeth hadn't followed he was already out of the car and halfway towards Max.

He came around her side. Didn't look at her. Didn't want to because he knew that would stop him somehow and he didn't have time to slow himself down.

He opened the door for her, felt her questioning distrustful eyes on him and he hated that her stare slaughtered something inside him.

" Get out Elizabeth." There was no courtesy to his demand.

She objected with her eyes and that was enough for him to know that they could be sitting there for hours arguing. Especially the two of them.

His hand came around her elbow, cupping her soft skin with his hard determined fingers. He understood now why he couldn't look at her. Because if he did, he'd want to kiss her, kiss her and hold her, have her lock her body around his, feel her heartbeat against his chest just so he could be sure she was alright.

He wanted to badly, so badly his skin felt like it had shrunken in size, unfit for his larger than life emotions.

" Elizabeth get out." He came closer, hovering over, knowing she hated when he did that. His eyes were cast down, gazing at his hand around her. " I don't have time for this."

" Boss."

Elizabeth's head came up and found Max. Instantly she released herself from him, her limbs now moving quite fast, seemingly motivated by Max's sudden presence.

" Max." She beamed, her voice sounding shattered like she had been crying for hours. " What are you doing here?" She hugged herself to him and Jason tensed, feeling Max's awkwardness burgeon along with a tint of fire that welcomed itself in Jason's veins.

He didn't waste time feigning the fact that he hated what he just saw, but he was helpless and had to stay on track. He went around the car, glanced at Max then shifted his gaze to Elizabeth than back.

" Take her to her family."

" Sonny's got a good head start."

Jason nodded, but answered assuredly. " I know where he's headed. I'll be fine."

Not sparing them either a second glance, Jason made his way back to the SUV. Max nudged Elizabeth gently forward, but she remained stuck in place. " Where is he going?"

When the bodyguard didn't answer immediately, Elizabeth's stare whipped around to his.

" Max, where the hell is going?"

Max shuffled, reluctant, than decided it better she knew. " To save your father."

* * *

The woods outside Manhattan were dark and dense like out of some gothic fairytale. The trees looked evil, lurking over them. The branches long and seeking were like arms stretched out to grab the life out of any victim who brushed past their barky claws.

Leaves crunched under their feet. Fall had finally come and now with avengeance. Barely into the chilly season and the wind was howling hard around them, rustling the stillness of the woods to life.

Sonny said nothing. Bruce waited for the taunting to come, but the whole half hour ride was left empty except with Sonny's black stare solely concentrated on him.

Bruce felt the weight of the man's gun even from a few feet away.

Sonny walked in complete silence behind him.

And every second Bruce Webber knew he was moving closer to his end. He knew what came next and there was no amount of begging or bribery that would change the mind of Mr. Sonny Corinthos.

This wasn't the same person who had ordered the hit on him a month earlier. That man was gone, replaced by something far fiercer and monstrous.

Before Sonny had been doing what was necessary for the business. A man had gone against him, taken from him and the life he had created for himself. Someone that audacious enough to act against such a powerful person deserved death.

No man in their line of work would argue that point.

But now was a different story. Sonny wanted his blood simply because he had to have it. There was no talking to him. No getting through to the supposedly decent humanitarian that was inside somewhere lost.

Sonny was out for blood simply because he needed the fix.

The power taking a life gave you could be addictive; it lent you a faux sense of invincibility and there were few people in the world who could contain that kind of surge once they had gotten a taste of its seductive draw.

Of course, that and many other reasons where why he had stayed on the legitimate side of Sonny's business. But even so, he couldn't completely eradicate himself.

Sonny's hit men, the people he protected him and his fortune with were people he couldn't avoid. Rubbing elbows with at social functions, hotel parities, work gatherings that were mandatory if you were listed on the Corinthos/Morgan payroll, this was when the truths of what these men really did became impossible to ignore.

There was so many times when he just wanted to pick up his family and leave; never to be associated with the filth of this life and the hypocrisy he practically choked every damn day on.

But he never did. His wife would convince him otherwise or some financial matter would take precedence to his moral code and he'd rational another days work, another excuse to turn his head and repeat that he was only there to calculate numbers, nothing more.

" Stop."

The one word dissolved his thoughts from existence. He did as he said, but didn't turn, just stared into the dark nothingness that lay drearily before him.

Kind of like his short impending future.

" Mr. Webber…or should I call you Bruce. I forget how that works." Sonny's sinister voice curled around the air like stale poison.

Bruce understood where this was going and a part of him knew it was his deserved punishment, but he was hoping against hope that Mr. Corinthos wouldn't drag this out like some ceremonial event.

Sonny came around to face Bruce, making him feel like a mongoose locked in the preying stare of a king cobra.

" So Bruce," he accentuated his name with a angry tinge. " What do you have to say for yourself?"

Bruce thought about what would be considered sufficient, but before his search even began he knew there was nothing he could say or do to bring Mr. Corinthos towards any sort of empathy.

Sonny was monitoring him, waiting eagerly for Bruce to slip up, say anything to make the torture longer, deeper, daring him to pull the trigger in any erratic moment.

" Nothing? Wow. I thought you'd have this detailed apology. You know…you deal with people all the time, you're business man. Educated. I mean, I'm just a stupid thug right? What do I know."

Sonny shrugged, giddy in his conversing mood. " I don't know, I mean that's what you must've been thinking right? I'm just some ill bred, unsophisticated criminal…I don't deserve loyalty, right? I don't deserve you're regret, or shame. Shit, I should be happy you didn't steal my whole goddamn fortune."

He chuckled, the bitter sound holding the evidence of the kind of madness that was lacing through him. " You think you're better than me." It wasn't spoken as a question and even if it was, Bruce wasn't particularly brave enough to answer him. He savored what little time he had left on earth.

" You think you can just take from me and get away with it? You laughed at me, you piece of shit? Is that what you did? You thought I'd never find out because I'm just some stupid schmuck from Brooklyn. I wouldn't know any better."

" Is that what you thought?" Sonny raised the gun that he had been waving around with his hand and brought it against Bruce's forehead. " Answer me!"

" No I-" Bruce stammered, feeling his tongue inside his mouth dry up, heavy and paralyzing. He couldn't get the words out. " I never thought that. I swear."

" Yeah and I'm supposed to believe anything you say. You fucking scumbag. Who the hell do you think you're dealing with here? Some fucking punk on the street? I will bury you. You got that? You're fucking done." Sonny roared uncontrollably.

" I'm sorry." Bruce whimpered, all pride stripped from him. The only thing he felt was the stunning cold of the metal piercing his skin right above his eyes. " I didn't think those things. I didn't mean any of it. I just was trying to make a good life for my family."

" By taking from me? From me, your boss! I gave you a goddamn job. You wanted more, go get a second job you lazy sack of shit. That's not my fucking problem."

" You're right." He shook his head, " I shouldn't have. I don't know what I was thinking. We just, we had so many debts but we wanted to be there for our kids and we couldn't do that with two jobs…it just wouldn't work."

" You think…" he sneered repugnantly, "…I give two shits. Not my problem."

Bruce bit down the moan of terror that soared up into his lungs, threatening outpour.

" On your knees."

Bruce obeyed immediately, hoping this was the end. He grabbed a hold of the image of his family, the picture of the four of them up at Bear Mountain that lay unattended at his desk.

They had been so happy. A real family.

" You ever hear the saying don't bite the hand that feeds you? We'll you just took a big chunk of out me and now? Now you're going to pay. With the fucking worthless life you have."

Sonny bent over, shoving the gun against his head, twisting the metal hole in so it made an indent of a circle in his skin. " And I got a little secret for you…you think your families safe? You think I'm going to honor that deal I made with Jason?" Sonny whispered conspiratorially, " Don't bet on it. Men who aren't honorable aren't treated with honor. You betray me, don't think I won't do the same to you."

" No please." Bruce begged, his voice shredding at the news. " Please, please don't. Whatever I did, they don't need to be punished for. Please, Mr. Corinthos."

Unmoved by the man kneeling in front of him, his face wrought in desperation as he pleaded for the life of his family, Sonny watched, his gaze growing detached in sentiment from the emotional uproar bleeding at a frenzying height.

" Too late Bruce. You shouldn't have crossed me. Now you all have to pay for your sins."

" I didn't mean to…I'm sorry!" Bruce screamed, moisture seeping from his eyes and nose. His mouth agape as a mewling sound of agony ripped from his gut and up.

Sonny's eyes widened, two large black circles of malice. He cocked the slide back, licking his salivating lips as intensity mounted within him. " If your a praying man Mr. Webber, you'd better start because you're about five seconds away from meeting you're maker."

" Please." The man winced, shaking in his fear as he allowed the pervading emotion to rule him. " Please…"

" Sorry Bruce. Maybe God will be more merciful in heaven. I, on the other hand, need to see you suffer. Now."

When he saw the finger on the trigger begin to flex back, Bruce closed his eyes, his body clenching together, awaiting the pain and next the drifting fade into nothing. Wherever he ended up, he would wait for his family there.

" Drop it."

Sonny whirled around, his body spinning like a top at the surprise intrusion. Neither man had heard Jason, both were too wrapped up in their own tumultuous ride of emotions.

" Whoa, whoa Jason." Sonny brought his hands up, went to move closer to him but Jason immediately aimed his gun higher and Sonny backed away, his alarm finally registering in a delayed reaction. " What the hell are you doing man?"

" Drop the gun." There was no trace of feeling in his order. He was mechanical and monotone in his delivery.

The gun slipped from Sonny's finger, falling between the two men. Jason retrieved it instantly, never taking his eyes or his gun off his former boss.

Sonny didn't try to mask his frustration now that he knew he had been duped. He had fallen for the Jason's words without encouragement or doubt. "You gave me your goddamn word!"

" I lied," came Jason's automatic response.

Eye's bugged out, Sonny shot out." You owe me this!"

" He doesn't deserve this." Jason shouted over him, his tone deceptively unmarked by the growing confliction inside him. " Neither does his family."

" Fuck them. He took from me!" Sonny pointed to Bruce who remained cowering in his fear, unable to completely believe that he wasn't going to die. His gray eyes lasered frantically between both men, but the fear never relinquished.

Placing Sonny's gun where he usually held his, tucked in the back of his jeans, Jason's stare never wavered. " He did what he had to save his family."

" So that's it?" Sonny raged, still stuck in denial that Jason would take this man's side over him, even now. " You're just going to let this lying _motherfucker_ go? That's not how I taught you to deal with things."

Jason huffed out. " Maybe I learned a few things on my own." Sonny still saw him as the same punk kid he picked up the streets seven years ago. He was stuck in the past.

" What happened to you?" Sonny's voice dipped dramatically as a well of feeling showed in his question.

Jason shrugged off the surprise hit of nostalgia." People change."

" You don't. You never wanted to."

" Maybe I want to now." Jason pointed out. " Maybe I've seen what a life outside this one can be like."

Sonny eyed the gun, shifted nervously in place, didn't cover the fact that he was scared shitless. " You can't be serious."

" All I know is you're not going to make Elizabeth fatherless." Jason warned decisively.

" So, where does that leave me?" Sonny asked, his doll- like ebony eyes trained on the gun as if it would go off any second. "You're not…Jason, come on."

" I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this."

" That's it. That's it?" Sonny yelled, incredulous and in denial about the reality of what was taking place here. You're just going to kill me?"

" I heard what you said…about Elizabeth and the rest of her family," Jason informed, his voice submerging drastically, melting into the air and becoming as dark as the night that encompassed them. "I can't let you live after that."

Jason watched Sonny rummage for an excuse, but he was too trapped by his terror and getting caught to think as quickly as he usually could. " I only said that to scare him. I didn't mean it."

" You're lying. I know you."

" Jason." Sonny's hands came up as if that lone gesture would explain away his behavior.

Fishing the keys from his pocket, Jason threw them at Bruce. They fell near his knee. Bruce was still playing catch up as well. He immediately found them and looked up confused.

Jason didn't wait to instruct him." Go to car. Wait for me there."

Jason's jerked his head in the direction of the vehicle that was somewhere behind them, past all the trees and the rest of nature. Bruce didn't hesitate to move even though his floppy limbs needed a few more seconds to regenerate, he forced himself forward anyway.

The echo of his hurried steps lingered musically around them. Sonny wanted to move, Jason could sense that. His whole face was an open book, a plethora of emotion. Fear, anger, disbelief, pain, regret, loss, hurt…Jason saw it all, unwilling, uncaring, but forced to partake in the moment with him.

Sonny was after all the only family he would ever have. And what he had to do next he knew would be something that would haunt him till the day he died.

" You're going to kill me?" Sonny's chin wobbled, his black stare pleading, round quivering orbs the size of the moon.

" You're not leaving me a choice." Jason whispered. He made himself breathe, a dizzying sensation trapping itself in his body. " I'm sorry."

Sonny's nostrils curled up, his shoulder's straightening. " Fuck you." He refused to die a coward.

" I'm sorry." Jason heard himself say again as he cocked the gear back.

" You're going to pay for this." Sonny threatened confidently. " Maybe not by me, but someone someday is going to get you. And I'll be laughing my ass off from hell, waiting for you man. I'll be waiting to get you back." Sonny came a step closer, his fear temporarily being drowned out by his hate. " You're going to fucking pay."

The second Jason felt the slightest bit of doubt, he knew he couldn't wait. The single shot hit him right between the eyes. Sonny went down instantaneously. Flying back in the air from the force of the bullet and landing in a thud on his back, sprawled out like the perfect white outline of a dead body in a crime scene.

Jason wiped his brow, the nausea in his stomach cramping him, sending him hunched forward, on his knees. But he refused to let this situation get the better of him. He wasn't going to fall, turn weak kneed. He did what he had to do and if he had made another choice he would regret it.

His face, inches from Sonny's, stared back at the man. The man he had called his friend, his confidante, his brother was dead. His face, in death, was peaceful, tranquilly blissful and content, something in life he was estranged to, never quite growing accustomed to the fit. Maybe wherever he was now he was happy. For some reason, Jason needed to believe that to walk away.

He noticed the small grin on his mouth, one Jason hadn't seen in the last few months and suddenly he remembered Sonny's last words. Pay. Jason agreed accommodatingly, shaking his bent head. He knew he was going to pay. He already was.


	38. Chapter 38

_Letting go is one way of saying I love you. _

He didn't like how he felt.

All garbled, like his brain had been sucked out his ear with a straw.

He guessed killing his best friend could be the cause, but if he was halfway truthful with himself it had a lot more to do with what came next.

The man seated beside him rumbled a soft cough, announcing his forgotten presence. Not that Jason could ever fully overlook that fact that he was there. Unfortunately.

Jason veered a short sideways glance at him but said nothing.

There was nothing to say.

After what had happened conversation kinda seemed pointless and unnecessary.

Talking was never one of Jason's stronger assets. He despised having to explain his motives or reasons to anyone for anything. Silence was his constant companion and he preferred his life be spent that way. In fact, he always situated meetings, appointments with people to get them out of the way as fast as possible so he could enjoy his alone time.

Except with Elizabeth.

The only reason he remained mute with her was because he loved to see her squirm, flush a gorgeous rose in embarrassment. She was undeniably luscious when she blushed so fiercely. It was one of the first things he had noticed about her and for some reason the view from his personal vantage point was not a sight his mind would ever let him forget.

Even though, he predicted, he'd end up resenting the memory someday. Someday too soon.

This was different though.

The silence that stirred in the truck was one Jason found hard to ignore. He sensed Bruce Webber watching him, more specifically, studying him.

The experience itself wasn't one he hadn't grown accustomed to over the years, but now he was too heated, exposed from the onslaught of emotions he was battling inside to properly handle what usually came second nature to him.

He couldn't choose which emotion to feel first. Its like they had been picked up in whirlwind, a tornado feeding off his weakness and he didn't have the strength to reach up and hold on.

Jason wanted the uncomfortable tension that had crept its way in the small confined space of the car to end. He was usually not on the receiving end of such intimidating tactics and it was working his last nerve that this man of all people was successfully exacting his purpose.

" Did you mean what you said back there?"

Jason awarded him a stony glare, went back to staring at nothing on the open road." What?"

Bruce turned slightly, fiddling, indecisive about whether he wanted to actually go there with this man or not. Particularly apprehensive about the answers he would receive that would either confirm or alleviate his fear.

" About seeing life from a different point, starting over?" he started, blinking away the sudden hesitance that had found a way under his skin.

he man looked like shit. Not that he didn't have a good excuse. He had faced death and hell, the possibility of never seeing his family again. Such nightmares would shake anyone to their core, but when Jason lukewarmly searched for sympathy within him, he found none.

All he could see was Elizabeth in danger and her father being the direct cause of that. There was no excuse justifiable enough to forgive such negligence.

Shrugging off the question, Jason eyed him under a hooded gaze meant to silence him. He was tired, exhausted mentally, physically, the last thing he wanted to do was fucking talk. But when he realized Bruce wasn't getting the blaring hint, Jason snapped out without thinking. " I just…said it. It didn't mean anything."

" So you weren't talking about you and a future with my daughter?" Bruce pressed on, the relief evident in the worry that bled from his hunched shoulders and the thirsty dig of his stare. " I know you must care for her a great deal. What you did and all."

Jason gripped the wheel tighter. His knuckles shading white from the strain. " We should be there in ten minutes."

Cleary uncomfortable and doing his best impression of a concerned father, Jason gathered, Bruce chose to sidestep the obvious warning signs not to push. He needed to say what he needed to say and no amount of bullying from Jason was going to deter him.

" Mr. Morgan, I think we should talk." He spoke in an appealing manner.

Jason gave him a stiff almost unnoticeable head shake. His eyes still on the road. " There's nothing to talk about." His tone bland but stubbornly edged.

Bruce fought for rein, considered the best approach, but knew better. There was no better approach when it came to dealing with him. " We'll I just want to be clear a few things up."

"Like what?"

"Elizabeth is a special young lady." Bruce started slowly, " She's…been sheltered and this whole thing has been quite a shock to her. I don't think she's really thinking all that clearly." He explained, waiting for Jason to extend some sign that he understood, could at least connect with such a truth, but it was as if Jason hadn't heard him.

" What's your point?" Jason whispered, making little effort to restrain his annoyance.

" My point is…." Bruce's own voice hardened. The bastard was going to force him to say it. Try to shape him out to be some sort of villain in this. He wanted his family, his daughter especially protected in all this. No matter what the cost. "...neither of you expected this and I'm sure you're both a-"

" Don't speak for me." Jason stated, pinning a short but voluminous glare his way. " Or Elizabeth for that matter."

" I know my daughter." Bruce replied, defensively. " I know she's naïve to the way things work for you and your life. If you keep encouraging her by hanging around or letting her think there's actually a chance for the two of you, I…I know its going to break her heart."

" I would never hurt her on purpose." He whispered as if to himself, remembering with sharp clarity that he had. More than once.

" You already have." Bruce mirrored his thoughts with his swift declaration. Jason shot him a look, but his defiance had withered compared to before. " Maybe not on purpose, but if you continue the way you are, you know that this is just headed for disaster."

Frustrated, frayed to the ends of his own self control Jason gripped the bottom of the wheel, very tempted to pull over and make the bastard walk the rest of the way.

His jaw jutted out in a square line, evidently displeased as he spat out gutturally. " What do you want?"

Bruce didn't hesitate this time. " I want you to promise me you're going to stay away from Elizabeth. That this is done. She doesn't need you anymore in her life, you know that now. She's safe. You did your job and now it's over..."

Deadpan up until now, Bruce almost faltered when Jason blasted his stare his way, his brow wrinkling in as a hurtful but knowing expression compromised his stoic reserve.

"… and I want her to be safe…from all this. I know I've caused her a lot of pain and she probably hates me for what I did-"

" She doesn't know."

" What?"

Jason darted a glance at the road than reluctantly back at Bruce. He sighed as if the words killed him to say. " I didn't tell her."

" Oh. I see." Unprepared for such information, Bruce traded his parental speech and segwayed off to verbalize his gratitude to the practical stranger for his discreteness. " I guess I should thank you. Thank You."

Jason would have allowed himself the moment of relief to laugh but he was too damn riled up to conjure any jovial feelings, distasteful or not. " Don't. I didn't do it for you. It wasn't my truth to tell. You need to make it right with Elizabeth on your own. It's not my business."

Using the small moment to do some contemplating of his own Bruce emitted his anxiety, although it was unasked for. " She's going to hate me." He plainly admitted, his eyes on the road as well.

" Maybe, but she'll forgive you." Jason added directly, his voice falling into a rough smokiness as he continued. " She has a hard shell, but underneath Elizabeth is very soft, very fragile."

He didn't like what he saw. He didn't realize a man like Jason Morgan could be brought to his knees by such a weak instinct such as he was seeing writhing through him so transparently it was practically written on his face with red magic marker.

" You seem to know her well." Bruce observed begrudgingly.

" She's not hard to read if a person actually paid attention." Jason retorted dryly, hoping the man got the subliminal meaning.

" What's that suppose to mean?" he queried, defense weaving through, notching up his voice.

Jason licked his lips, unperplexed. " Nothing."

" I love my daughter. I would do anything for her and that's why you need to keep your distance. You being in her life is just going to mess things up for her. She's young, with her whole life ahead of her. She hasn't been corrupted by what we do yet. I won't have her life cut short because of your selfishness!"

"That's the last thing I want." Jason yelled, raising his voice for the first time.

" Then you promise to stay away…I mean look at all the damage this is doing to her. She's emotionally drained, she can barely stand she's so weak…" Bruce counted off the acceptable reasons, making Jason wriggle in his seat "…she's not strong enough to handle all the baggage you have."

" She's stronger than you think" Jason countered his explanation with one of his own along with a sturdy glare, "…stronger than anyone gives her credit for."

" I know my daughter!" Bruce uncharacteristically shouted, banging a flat palm down onto the dashboard. " I know her better than anyone."

" Yeah…and do you know that she was worried about you the whole time she wasn't with you? You saw the way she was the day we came to take you at the house…she was the one putting her life on the line, protecting her family." Jason screamed, the chords of neck bulging on the sides. " Where the fuck were you?"

" How dare you." Bruce's voice wilted at the fury fuming off Jason, but it didn't balk his own rightful indignation. " My family is the most important thing to me…don't you presume to know my daughter just because you've spent a couple of weeks around her."

Jason huffed out scornfully, his face reddening as he stared down at the road, knowing he was juggling his anger weakly. " Spending your whole life with her hasn't made you an expert either."

" So what? You're going to punish me by seeing her. Continue this charade you know wont last just to get under my skin? Is that what you're telling me?"

" I don't need you for a reason to see _or_ like Elizabeth." Jason pointed out through clenched teeth.

" Oh please…she's a girl compared to you." Bruce dismissed with a ridiculous expel of air. " She doesn't know what she wants."

" You underestimate her." Jason informed, scarping his lower lip with a rough sweep of teeth before beaming an adverse glare Bruce's way. " Again."

Head down, Bruce shook his head, did a weary job of wiping his hand over his worn face. " I want her safe." He confessed brokenly. When his eyes found Jason's scorching hot blue ones, he forced himself not to look away. He couldn't. Elizabeth needed this. She had been through more than any one human could tolerate. He had to for her. " Can we agree on that?"

Not breaking eye contact for that long tense second, Jason answered, his tone bare of all anger. " Yes."

" So?" Bruce nudged, wanting to be on the same page as him. He didn't need any miscommunication to what he was expecting here.

Jason wasn't sure what was worse, speaking his thoughts for the first time to a man he didn't care for or knowing he was going to have to do the very thing he had been dreading this whole time.

He didn't know what would kill him more. Her face, when she looked at him, her voice when she said his name disbelieving, laced in pain, or her body and its usual quiver that accompanied her every move around him. All were apart of who she was, a apart of what he habitually sought out to rectify for her. Just for her.

He had become intolerant to her being in pain. And now he was going to be the foundation of such things. The thought alone stung his orbs, made his lungs fill up and close off like a roadblock.

Clearing his throat, Jason stunned even himself by masquerading the twist of emotion rising inside him with an informal wry tone. "Elizabeth was never going to be apart of my life. She knew that going in. This was temporary. All of it."

" I see." Bruce appeared pleased and Jason at the moment desperately wanted to punch something.

" But maybe you should make that crystal clear to her. No matter what it takes." Bruce spoke, defining each word with a serious gaze. Jason returned his gaze with a masked one, obscure but fraught and plagued. " Don't leave her thinking there is chance. Misunderstandings can lead to hope and she doesn't need to hold on to any such fallacies."

When Jason didn't answer, his breathing growing heavier with every squeeze of pain that entered his chest, Bruce felt obligated to justify his actions. " This is what's best."

" Right." There was no conviction in Jason's response.

" She'll understand." Bruce encouraged weakly, " Like you said…"

" We're here."

Jason turned the wheel. From the looks of thing the place appeared to be some sort of abandoned airstrip. For a second he didn't see anyone else and the longer Jason drove without further divulging information the more he began to worry. After all he was a renowned killer, who in their business would fault him for getting rid of the man that cost him his best friend and business associate?

Bruce gulped, his gaze swinging from side to side. The place couldn't have been more desolate if it were plopped in the middle of the desert.

Just when panic began to rise and bubble he saw the small black Lincoln parked behind some drafty aluminum sided building. The headlights were off and the windows were tinted so he had no clue who was actually in the car.

His question was quickly handed to him when he saw the doors swing open all at once. First a big man with shoulder's the size of a linebacker popped out from the driver's seat. Elizabeth was in the passenger seat. She closed the door, one hand on the roof of the car, a stale mate emotion scattered across her face. Bruce knew she was probably holding her breath, thinking the worst, hoping silently for the best.

Carolyn was holding Tommy, his little feet latched around the side of her torso. He was playing with the front button of her shirt, oblivious and in his own little word. Sam was wiping the tears from her cheeks, her head on her mother's shoulder as they frantically moved forward and started to jog.

Elizabeth stayed back. Even when her father opened the door and the rest of the family met up to welcome one another.

Jason watched Elizabeth. His eyes darting to the rest of them to see the reunion of emotional hugs and teary kisses. They were all in the thick of one another, gulping down each other's affection, greedy and unabashedly so as they basked in the enjoyment of each other's presence.

It was few minutes before any of them realized Elizabeth was not with them. Bruce parted the small huddle of people, stepping reluctantly her way. Elizabeth smiled a teary smile, her eyes soaking him in, wanting to believe he was real, but scared to give in to her wish.

But when her father's arms spread out from his side, the gesture must have been too much because Elizabeth ran towards him eagerly, deleting the small distance. She threw her arms around him, embracing him with all the gratefulness her heart would let her small body show.

Jason saw the tears stream unfiltered down her face as she kissed his cheek and Bruce cupped her small head lovingly. She was finally home; where she belonged all along.

* * *

The haze his reluctancy was playing over him was making it hard for Jason to concentrate.

Leaning against the side of the truck, away from the private family moment, Jason stayed planted in the shadows. He couldn't watch their little intimate reunion anymore. The sentiment, the pure undiluted emotions gnawed sourly at his gut.

He wasn't a part of Elizabeth and her family and even though he hadn't interrupted in any way, just standing there observing them felt wrong somehow; like he was an intruder or voyeur.

So he backed off into the shadows away from the spotlight and let them have their moment. They deserved the solace of their rejoining and Jason didn't want his presence to be a burden over them; a dark cloud that dampened what was supposed to be bright occasion. He tended to bring the worst out of people when these times arrived and he didn't want that for Elizabeth.

She had missed her family like crazy and he would be the nuisance if he stood there gawking.

Driving his hand through his mangled golden locks, Jason sighed, taking in the weight of his full exhaustion, never letting him forget that he still had many jobs to do once the goodbyes were said.

People would be looking to him now, wondering who was in charge now that Sonny was gone. He was going to have to uproot a lot of the business, start all over again and repair the sloppy foolish choices Sonny had made in his last months.

First order of business was getting rid of Prozzi. He was too soft for the kind of personal backer he needed. Jason wanted someone with an actual spine, who could manage the pressure the outside competitors were inevitably going to press on them without someone holding their hand. If someone on the outside leaned, Jason needed to know the person in charge of securing his merchandise wasn't going to sweat over it. Prozzi was not their guy.

What the fuck was he doing?

He squeezed the ends of his brows with the tips of his fingers, massaging the aching flesh with a brutal roll.

He knew exactly what he was doing. He was avoiding at all costs thinking about what he had to do, right now, in this moment. He couldn't acknowledge the fact of what came next because if he did he had to come to a realistic grip that he was never going to see her again.

He was never going to look down into those open beautiful eyes that sucked him in like the force of gravity. He was never going to hear her laugh, never going to see her blush. He was never going to make lover to her, be inside her body and discover all the things he had missed in his hasty frantic need to just be in her.

God, he was fucking idiot.

He should have never touched her. He should've never laid one had on her. What was thinking? When the hell did he think this was going to be easy?

" Jason."

The supple calling of his name uttered from her mouth sent his emotions into overdrive, momentarily blanketing all other thoughts. His body whipped around, caught off guard.

He stared at her as she moved forward and the small shy steps she took propelled him into motion.

He forgot about what he was supposed to say, what he was supposed to do and drank in the sight of her. All of her, he took her in inch by inch, hurried only by the compelling need to feel her in his arms one last time.

She stopped a foot in front of him, seeming to do the same thing he was doing. Her stare deliciously pervading, wandering over him, her eyes cast in shadows of worry, coinciding with a happiness that made the blue in her eyes blur and sparkle like sapphires under light. She glowed from the inside out.

Intimately, predatorily, his steely blue eyes traveled over her as well, hesitant if she was okay, if she would lie or not. But when she gifted him with slight smile, he removed the small barrier of distance between them.

Neither touched one another though.

" Hey." She swallowed, her trembles evident to his ever watching eyes. " Are you… okay?"

Her eyes immediately darkened as he leaned forward and she noticed the small scratch she had made when prematurely misjudged him. She should have trusted him and she was ashamed now that she hadn't.

" Jason." Her finger slid under the damage she had done, her stare dampening in regret. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have never thought…" She let go of him completely, started to back away but he grabbed her wrist gently with his hold and left her locked to him. " I can't believe…Jason, I did that to you."

" It's okay." He dismissed soothingly. The last thing he wanted to discuss was a stupid mark on his face. He wouldn't have cared if she scarred him for life.

She shook her head at him. Her head still downcast, but her eyes, big and solely painted in remorse on him. " No its not." She discounted, her voice thick. She eyed the small red line again. " Does it hurt?"

"No." He cupped her cheek, knowing he shouldn't, but he couldn't stop himself.

" Would you tell me if it did?"

His thumb found the corner of her mouth, smoothed down the indent that shaped the sexiness of her mouth. " No." He said distracted.

She pretended she wasn't affected and pushed his hand away. " My dad told me what happened." She scanned him for a reaction, but there was none. She should have expected none, but this was a man he called his friend. He had to be feeling something on the matter. " Sonny's…dead. He said you killed him."

His blue stare frosted over, the blue morphing into tiny icicles that danced unhappily down at her. Elizabeth hated when he looked that way. She felt like she couldn't reach him, like some invisible barrier had resurrected between them.

Jason cleared the residue from his throat. " Did he hurt you at all while he had you?"

" Jason." She protested, her brow curving into a slant.

His one track mind dismissed her weak attempt at skirting the issue. " Elizabeth, answer me."

" I already told you no." She informed, not in the least miffed even though she should be. He had the uncanny talent of rolling on an issue and turning the tables. When he appeared unconvinced, she twisted her wrist a bit to break contact only link her fingers with his.

" I'm fine."

" I wasn't sure if you were lying or not." He admitted, mad at himself that he hadn't been able to tell on his own whether she was okay or not. He didn't like knowing he couldn't read her. It made him feel powerless. " Sonny, I knew he was forcing you to say what he wanted you to."

" I was fine, just scared." She disregarded too lightly. " Plus, I thought you could tell when I was lying."

He was looking sideways from her, his sharp profile hammering a message that he was mad, but it was aimed only at him. " You're head was down. I couldn't tell." He whispered, barely audible to her ears. " It bothered me that you wouldn't look at me."

" I couldn't." She gazed at him, cupping his cheek and turning his face towards her so he would look at her. " I felt like if I did you'd be able to see how terrified I was and you'd do something crazy. I didn't want you to lose focus of what you had to do."

His throaty chuckle resonated with an ache. "Always thinking about everyone else's feelings before yours."

" I didn't want anything to happen to you because of me."

His glare came down hard on her, blacking out the light in his eyes all together." This was my fault, my problem."

" You already said you were sorry a hundred times." Her voice rose in a quake. " Don't say it again."

" So what," The drop of his voice, silky and heady, unraveled the quick stir of anger"… you think you can read my mind too?"

" Maybe." She responded on a sigh. It had the power to stroke away the stiffness in his body. " Now that I know you better." He tugged her closer and she followed willingly, both in servitude to the fastening emotions wrapping them in place and drowning out all and everything else.

His two large hands memorized the porcelain snow flesh of her cheeks, the tips moving deftly slow in their furtive exploration. He ended up with his hands cupping behind her ears, his two fingers nipping gently at the dangling curve of her earlobe.

Her breathing heightened, scattered up erratically. " I promise I won't interfere like that again."

Her sultry mumble froze him in place. Suddenly he remembered everything, why he was here with her to begin with and not home barking orders and making calls.

He let go of her face, but didn't back away, peeked up over her head to nothing in the distance." You won't."

" I know you didn't plan this. Killing Sonny I mean." She went on, unaware of why he had quickly withdrawn. " This must be hard for you." She wondered compassionately.

" I'm okay." He scratched the side of his nose.

She tilted his chin down in her direction, giving him a direct but empathetic look. " No you're not."

He released her, glaring in her general direction, not really looking at her." Don't tell me how I feel Elizabeth." He rumbled in a clipped tone, but it did little too deter her efforts.

" Stop pushing me away and I won't." Her chest constricted. She was alert to what he was doing and it wasn't going to work on her.

" It doesn't matter."

" Do ever grow sick of hearing yourself say that? Because I'm way past tired of hearing it. Of course it matter, Jason." She shouted, charged up by his perfectly timed indifference.

Riled to the point where she didn't care that her parents were probably watching, horrified by her outburst, she plowed on fervently. "Your feelings matter. They matter to me. I don't like seeing you like this. You try to pretend you're alright, but I know you're not. Please," she reached for his hand, but he dodged her. "You can trust me."

He swallowed the stabs knifing at his vocal chords, dwarfing her genuine outpour with his short bland reply. " It has nothing to do with trust."

" Then what?"

" Elizabeth." His voice dwindled, winding down like a dying man on the verge of his last breath. " You know."

She searched his face for answers he refused to give. He seemed to be on emotional lockdown and she was driving blindly for a clue as to where he was headed. She shook her head, " I don't understand."

" That…what happened between us," He turned into a machine in front of her, a sheen of steel eclipsing his dark stare, shading his true emotions from view. "…is over now."

" Over." She repeated the word like it was foreign to her ears.

" Yeah." He watched her reaction under the canopied glare of his severe brow.

His saw her emotions switch from disbelief to sheer anger than back to disbelief, a nauseous gray reflecting of her pale skin, but she never looked away from him. Still sure she had misheard him somehow." So it's just over…like that."

When she realized the only answer he was going to provide her with was silence, anger presented itself, swiftly taking the control. Her mouth shifted and her sapphire eyes foamed at him. " Wow, how do you do that?"

" What?" He shrugged, authentically perplexed.

" Snap your fingers …" She clarified, her fury making a diligent leap into outrage. She understood what was happening now. She wasn't as slow as Jason assumed. He wasn't going to win, "… make yourself believe what you're saying."

" Stop it." He demanded nonchalantly, keeping his cool demeanor in place.

She hated the way he sounded, placating her like she was some petulant child." No. I think you should stop it." She stepped closer. She thought he'd step back but was surprised when he didn't. " It's not over…" she murmured under his gaze, feeling the shakes overtake her as he continued casting his undeniably brilliant eyes on her "… it cant be."

" I told you. " His voice was the only thing that cracked as she moved a shuffled foot closer. " I told you this from the beginning, Elizabeth."

" Right, you warned me," she agreed, her voice in full wobble mode as her emotions stampeded her without mercy, "but I guess my heart made other plans."

" I'm sorry." The ghostly void in his eyes disturbed her.

But she didn't let it trample her course of action." I don't believe you."

" I am." There were small but significant tremors in his speech.

" No…I don't believe you when you say it's over." She forged ahead, latching on to the tiny ripple of emotion he had been unable to shield from her probing eyes. " It doesn't make sense."

" It has to." His nostrils flared as he ripped out in a stark but soft tone. " This is the way it has to be. It's better for both of us."

" Jason…" She raised her hand and he didn't stop her. She took the small encouragement as a good sign and pressed the warm inside of her palm into the side of his cold face. "… I know you don't believe that. You're lying I can see it."

" Stop." His eyes closed.

" You're lying." She breathed out in a hushed voice that wrapped around his defiance.

" No." He shook her off, cleared his throat and backed away, her words tempting him more than she would never know and he would ever admit. They blurred him from thinking straight. She had such a bewitching quality about her. " No, I'm not."

" Who's the coward now, huh?" She challenged, unrestrained the harder the fight he put up. The wall he had erected around his heart was so well built, years of hurt and pain had constructed it to impenetrability. " You tell me to stop hiding, take a few risks and I finally do and now you're the one running scared."

" I'm not running. I'm facing the truth." He bit out defensively. Maybe she had struck a sensitive chord. His blue eyes glowed down at her, fresh with newborn anger like the moon on a starless night. She wasn't sorry. " You're the one running if you think we have any sort of future Elizabeth. This, right here, this moment was our future. That's it."

The harsh snap transfixed her from movement, mental or physical. " So all along you planned this?" she pushed, her voice suddenly drained. "You planned this moment?"

" Yes."

" Oh, did you rehearse what you were going to say?"

" Yes."

" All those times we were together…" Her voice slipped lower, moving under his skin like a warm current. His granite reserve hardened on the outside. "… When you made love to me till neither of us could separate an inch without wanting each other …and you're telling me you knew you were going to be here, breaking my heart?"

" I…" The clutter in his reply gathered and released, "Yes."

" Liar." She spit out, tears dripping from the sides of her eyes down her cheeks like blood, the blood of her emotions, of her heart spiking out as the birth of her anguish grew.

" I'm not lying." He looked away, resting his gaze away from her. His eyes fluttered shut again, squeezing closed just as his jaw line convulsed under the skin rebelliously tortured.

" No, you're just the biggest chicken shit I've ever met." She croaked, wiping the wet under her nose, taunting him and not caring if her motive was disguised or not. " You're just going to walk away, leave…never look back?"

" I have a job to do. My life is waiting for me." He recited, his whole body coiled and tight. If he moved he'd break, he knew it.

She tried not to be affected but she was too tired to fight herself. " What life." She sneered, wiping the tears she was sure she heard laughing at her.

Maybe she wasn't as brave as he had thought she was. Maybe if she was stronger she could just walk away, but for the first time in her life she wanted to fight for something. She thought what they had was worth it. To both of them.

" Please be safe." His tender plea broke the tense quiet that had fallen.

" Do me a favor." She gulped down the remainder of her tears, wiped the ones that stayed plastered to her skin.

" Elizabeth." The string of tolerance he was holding onto tipped over.

" Please." She begged with of tinge of resentment.

His hands came up from his side. " What?" He gave her a full on glare, blue ice glaciers unrepentantly staring at her, bobbing apathetically her way.

She faltered a small second, her eyes skid down to his lips that were a hard unforgiving line. It was difficult to believe that they were the same lips that had touched her, given and taken pleasure from her, ceaselessly; immortalizing their secretive time together that would forever be engraved in her body.

" Kiss me." She startled even herself by actually saying the words. Jason continued his immobile stance. She drew closer, her nails scarping a dragging trail over his jaw. " One last time. Please."

He didn't give her an ounce, his rigid position never failing. Her lips grazed him as she peered up with a doe like seduction that clung to his bones. And then she kissed him, a gentle breeze of a touch that fell and waved back rapt with hunger. Inexperienced at being the aggressor, Elizabeth's hand fisted in his hair, her nose flattening into his cheek as her mouth trapped his.

She was sucking the last of his strength with every move. She rubbed her lips against his, knowing he loved that, traced his mouth with hers as he felt the staccato quiver of her breathing melt the last of his restraint.

He used his hands to scoop her head in his hold and bring her closer, quickly dominating the kiss. His tongue plundered through her shaky actions and she instantly found the rhythm his burgeoning need was directing him towards.

Her generous mouth opened up against his and he devoured her, his lips suckling on the plump flesh, famished as his tongue worked hers at a fevered pace. He nipped her bottom lip, liked what he tasted so bad his skin grew hot under him and he nipped harder, growing desperate for the feel of her.

And then he realized suddenly where he was and what he was doing. The desperation woke him, the rampaging necessity her kiss altered him, shifting his priorities so effortlessly it made his head spin to think about how easily his enemies could use her against him.

Her hands trembled as she tried to touch his face again, but he darted away, wiping his mouth. " Tell me that didn't mean anything." She dared weakly, still recovering from the spell of the experience.

He shot a harsh glare at her." Are you trying to hurt yourself on purpose?"

" Tell me!"

" It's over. You understand, over?" He tore out, internally struggling as he grappled for a stronghold that had dissolved the second he had touched her. Feeling bled out to his bones, he ordered under his breath but just as firm, " I want you to stop this right now."

Her head was already shaking. " No."

" Elizabeth."

" I love you." Her chin quaked, the wall of tears shone back at him. " Jason, I love you…I can't let you just walk away. I can't." Her shoulders shook, the confession breaking her down as she began to cry without the strength to stop.

He looked away, mechanically regurgitating the words he refused to rethink. He had to say something, anything to stop this. " I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same."

When he heard her whimper he immediately made himself talk to drown out the sound. A sound that would haunt him till the day he drew his last breath. " It's not that I wasn't attracted to you. You're beautiful, so much so I couldn't help myself around you. But, Elizabeth, my feelings end there. I like you, you're a nice person, too nice to be caught up in this nonsense. I can't have you following me around like a lovesick puppy. You are a gorgeous distraction, but a distraction none the less. To let you think it's anything more would be cruel. I can't do it anymore."

" I don't…" she sobbed, coughing to stop the tears, " …you can't mean what you just said."

" I do." He plainly returned. " It's the truth."

" The truth." She licked the tears from her lips.

He hung his head, nodded, than looked up, smothered in the uncomfortable feel of his own skin. " Yes. I'm sorry."

Small shivers ran up and down her spin, a pang of sickness balling up in her stomach. She felt off balance , her feet under her giving her the impression of movement, but she knew she hadn't stepped anywhere. She saw Jason lean towards her and quickly retracted from his obvious intent. " Don't touch me."

There was no bite in her voice, but it still had the effect of gutting his insides. " I never meant to hurt you like this. It was unintentional."

" No. It's my fault. I was naïve to think it meant more than it did. You're right. You never promised me anything. I knew who you were when I went to bed with you and I didn't care." She admitted weakly.

" The promises I made were one-sided from the start and I didn't even know I had made them until I realized I was in love with you. They tied me to you and I've remained attached to this idea ever since that somehow through it all, we were going to be together. I knew realistically that it was impossible, but I guess somewhere deep inside, unconsciously, I was hoping we would outlast the odds and make it. And if we did, you'd change your mind."

Hearing herself actually say the words made her flush inside with embarrassment. Her eyes grew moist as she voiced her conclusive thoughts bitterly. " I was wrong. I was wrong and foolish to think something so stupid."

" Elizabeth, I-"

" No. I get it. I really do." Her hand came up when she realized he was trying to come closer again. It might be easy for him to be around her, touch and not feel more, but she couldn't. She wasn't made the same way as Jason. When she felt it encompassed all her, heart and mind and nothing could separate the two.

" I want you to be okay." He gravelly pronounced. " It's important that I know you're alright."

" I'm fine. I mean," She corrected wearily, " I'm going to be fine. I've survived worse than this."

_You're lying_. He glared not meaning to make her flinch, but he detested her defeated tone, but he contradicted the war going on inside him. " Okay."

" Thank you." When he remained rooted where he was standing, surprised into submission from her candidness, she continued, not looking him in the eye, but at her hands. " For everything. I don't think I could ever repay the debt I owe you for what you've done for me and my family'"

" Don't." He stopped her, strangling on what he had to say. " I'm the one that owes you. You saved my life."

" I guess we evened out somewhere along the way."

" It's over. That's all that matters."

" Over, yeah." She concluded with a quiet softness that resounded reminiscently lost in memory. A lone tear streaked down her face, she wiped it immediately, but it was too slow for him not to see. " We can both finally go back to normal life. Whatever that is now." She chuckled miserably.

" I'd stay away from Port Charles. People might get suspicious and start asking questions." He advised.

"I'll let my father know." She complied without argue. That was a first. A first he didn't particularly like. When she was like that it meant she was letting herself get beaten by whatever she was feeling. He hated when she did that. Tiny eager prickles scurried through him, itching to eradicate the mess he had just made.

Instead he curled his fists at his side, chest tight, his tone tighter. " Take care of yourself."

She bit her lower lip, the small flesh skipping under her teeth. " You too."

She still hadn't looked at him. Was it so selfish and wrong for him to want just one look. " If there's any kind of trouble that involves-"

" I'll let my father know." She interrupted, backing away, looking at her family who was waiting patiently in the car. " I wouldn't want to burden you more than we already have." She murmured, finally raising her eyes to his.

He held her there. " That's not how it was and you know it."

" Be safe." She thoughtfully warned as gazed at him; her dull eyes lifeless as they teetered between his. " I know Sonny had a lot of enemies."

" I'll be fine."

Her mouth clenched down. " You always say that."

" Because it's true. I can take care of myself."

" I know you don't like people worrying about you." She remembered with a light soft laugh that didn't reach her eyes or smile.

" It doesn't bother me as much anymore." He revealed in an aching whisper, not breaking connection with her. " Promise me you'll be safe." He ordered again, softer.

" Jason, I'm…you know I'm going to be fine. I won't be in this life-"

He locked her in place with his stunningly commanding stare. " Promise me anyway."

Helpless, knowing it really didn't matter anyway she said without thinking." I promise to be safe." The sterling burnish of his blue eyes receded, falling slowly away. She felt like she could breathe a little now that the suffocating moment had ended.

She whispered back, drawing farther away when she heard the car horn honk." And you as well."

He nodded, his head felt like it weighed several tons. " Always."

" Goodbye Jason." Her hand came up in a short shy wave. Her nose was as red as her eyes and she smiled a watery smile at him, but it ended in sorrow as her face fell, but she turned to hastily for him to fully see.

He watched her, whispering, " Bye." He gulped down her name, " Elizabeth."

And he stood there, watching as the car drove away, tasting a tear on his lip. Something he had never tasted before. He didn't wipe the orphaned tear away, relishing in the agony, knowing right now the same emotion was afflicting itself on Elizabeth.

Here, he had thought he was a man who could do anything, execute any mission with preciseness and perfection. There was no job too dirty, no plan to impossible that he couldn't undertake without breaking a sweat.

He was wrong. Yes, he did what he set out to do, but he took no pleasure in the supposed success. The only thing that brought him any sort of happiness was knowing she was safe and that no one, including him, would ever hurt her again.

And he did that for her. Because of her. Because her life, precious with so much left to accomplish, was more important than anything else. Because her happiness mattered more to him than his own. Because, in the end, she was going to survive this and be okay and that knowledge alone made him able to go on.

Because, Jason closed his eyes, he was in love with her.

And if he loved her half as much as his heart was telling him he did, he'd keep her protected. Which meant away from him. Even at the cost of his own life.

**Authors Note: **_Okay, so here's the deal. I was originally planning to end this story here. _

_DON'T THROW TOMATOES JUST YET, LOL. I thought about it and thought about it and I really didn't feel like having them together with a nice sweet ending stayed true to the story and how I've told it. I wanted Jason to finally fall for her, for the audience to know they loved one another without either of them actually doing anything about it. BUT I didn't want to torture you guys either, lol. About halfway through writing this, I had decided that I was going to do a sequel instead, but the more I thought about it the more I realized the actual sequel would only be about ten parts and not worth separating the two stories. _

_So, in conclusion, I've decided to just extend this story. Still not sure if I'm going to have them end up together quite the way Liason conventionally do, but I do know what path its going to lead down. TO clarify my confusing rambling, the rest of the story is going to start off two months after this incident. It's going to play off and explain the various changes that have taken place in both their lives. I hope your okay with this. If anyone has any questions PM me or email me. Either ones fine. Feel free to do so anytime. Thanks for the continuing feedback. It's much appreciated and stored forever in my heart. I love you guys!_


	39. Chapter 39

This is one of my favorite poems ever. When I reread it the other day, it completely fit Jason and Elizabeth in this chapter and where they basically are, mentally speaking.

_On Monsieur's Departure_

_By Elizabeth I _

_I grieve and dare not show my discontent_

_I love, and yet am forced to seem to hate;_

_I do, yet dare not say I ever meant;_

_I seem stark mute, but inwardly do prate:_

_I am, and not: I freeze, and yet am burn'd, _

_Since from myself, my other self I turn'd._

_My care is like my shadow in the sun. _

_Follow me flying, flies when I pursue it;_

_Stands and lies by me, does what I have done;_

_This too familiar care does make me rue it:_

_No means I find to rid him from my breast,_

_Till by the ends of things it be supprest._

_Some gentler passions slide into my mind_

_For I am soft and made of melting snow;_

_Or be more cruel, Love, and so be kind, _

_Let me float or sink, be high or low:_

_Or let me live with some more sweet content,_

_Or die, and so forgot what love e'er meant. _

_**Two months later **_

She shouldn't have come.

She didn't know what she thinking, what she thought she might accomplish by being here. Now of all times.

But when she found out the news her first and only instinct was to tell him. After all, what other choice did she really have? He'd want to know, wouldn't he?

She swallowed her doubt with a dry throat, going down as uneasy as her pestering thoughts. They had been nagging her all the way here, since the half hour cab ride from her lower east apartment.

She thought and thought until she was sure her brain matter had disintegrated from the grueling workout, but there was no answer, no easy clear path to follow.

Being a grown up sucked, she sullenly concluded.

She had been on her own for officially a month and a half and she'd only admit it to herself, but it was harder than she expected. Lonelier too.

Leaving her family had been tougher than she was hoping it would be, but she was left with no other option. Staying in that house with them was unbearable, so much so, Elizabeth couldn't comprehend how she had lived with them and remained sane for eighteen years.

The truth about why Mr. Corinthos had been after her family had finally come out.

Maybe she was being as judgmental as her mother accused, but Elizabeth couldn't look at her father the same way. He had admitted he was wrong, but he had also declared in the same breath that he had no other choice, he was looking out for his family and he had the best of intentions.

But that's not what she heard when he had confessed to stealing thousands from the mob boss.

Basically, in her eyes, he had risked his family's life for money, and no amount of excuses would ever justify his actions in her book. She tried to forgive him, but she couldn't look at him the same.

And while the rest of the family sat waiting for her to get off her high horse, Elizabeth wondered resentfully when they were going to reach out and try to understand her a little. Understand that out of all of them, she had inadvertently been put in the middle of this crisis because of him and that wasn't something she could easily brush off her shoulder.

But weeks past and their new home grew colder, tenser. She had hoped that even through the mounting lie that had circumferenced their family's recent history, things would be different. After all, they had been through hell and back together. Dramatic situations like that were supposed to bring people closer together.

People change, didn't they?

Not the Webbers.

Her mother was the same. Only worse. Colder, more distant. Perhaps she figured Elizabeth was silently judging her as well and she made up for it by defensively parading her holier than thou attitude. In all their years as mother and daughter, Elizabeth had never felt like she could hold out a hand to her, but the gap between them had widened and Elizabeth was tired of waiting for what was supposed to be a natural process for a relationship finally start developing and get off the ground.

It shouldn't be that hard, take that much effort.

Sam was different too. Not necessarily bad. She was quieter, less obnoxious. She didn't go out as much and her relationship with Jack had gone from casual and nonexclusive to engaged and on the verge of living together.

Elizabeth was happy for her. Their sibling rivalry was still intact but there was an unspoken mutual respect and admiration underlined. She appreciated it and from the verbal cease fire she hoped that maybe someday there could be more between them then just a cordial civility.

She would wait. She had been patient long enough and unlike before she actually wanted to form some sort of connection with her sister.

Tommy was Tommy. She went up once a week to see him. He grew more each time she came for a visit. He was beautiful, running around like a madman, endlessly curious and totally unaffected by the disaster they had all went through.

Dad had taken Jason's advice and kept them clear of Port Charles, finding a nice cozy cape house near the water in Westchester County.

Elizabeth, of course, had left out the part about the move coming from Jason's advisable opinion. She had merely suggested the information on the way home that day from the airstrip and her father had grumpily responded that he was already planning to change addresses.

It was weird how things had worked out, like death and destruction hadn't stumbled onto their door one late summer day, wrecking life as they knew it and threatening the owed future every human felt guaranteed to.

Sometimes, Elizabeth had to remind herself that what had happened _really _had happened.

Otherwise, she was afraid certain memories would slip from her mind, dissolve into nonexistence from the meaningless clutter of her present little life.

If what she had could be considered a life. She worked full time during the day as an assistant to the assistant copy editor, worked at night doing inventory for the new bookstore that had opened up right around the corner from where she lived. The money wasn't great, but it was close to home which meant she didn't have to pay for cab fair. Plus she loved the idea of getting a say in what to order, collection wise. The man who owned the shop was elderly, at the beginning of his retirement after a thirty year career as a school librarian in Brooklyn.

He was a sweet old Turkish man with a lot of book knowledge and little business sense. Elizabeth assisted him with what minor business know -how she could recollect from the one AP accounting class she had taken her senior year. All in all the job was relaxing, her boss Armen was flexible and the solace of working at night gave her plenty of time to plan her future.

She had to make a future for herself, plan ahead even if she didn't believe she was going to do any of it. If she didn't pretend she was going to live, make something of the rest of her small time here on earth, she'd end up dying a little more each day.

So Elizabeth kept herself as busy as possible, submerging her twenty four day with as much as she could take, giving no time for second guessing or reminiscing of any kind.

Because if she did that, allowed her thoughts to trail to what could have beens or whys of any kind, she'd sink to the floor, break a apart piece by piece and never survive the fall to get back up. Sometimes she'd catch herself about to cry, about to trip over the weakness to submit and remember. Remember everything, but she fought hard, building the roadblocks slowly but sturdier each time.

Every part of her, nerve endings, the tiny membranes attached to her thoughts, every day emotions, were somehow connected to him. When she laughed she felt him. When she cried she felt him. When she awoke at night, scared, hurt, throbbing for the texture of his body on her, she felt him. So vividly, it robbed the breath from her body, stole her sanity for a momentary lapse that was a moment too great for her to keep holding on.

If she wanted to endure, assemble some mediocre attempt at happiness she couldn't let herself backslide from the memories.

Although, the power of the memories were tangibly unremitting. So real, many nights Elizabeth would awake from her bed, the fold out couch she had found at a garage sale, sweat stuck to her body, with his feel hanging from her pores. Sometimes she was stupid enough to actually look over to the other side of the bed, foolishly thinking she'd actually see the ruffled imprint of his lean but heavy muscled form, his plain silver watch on the small end table or the whiff of his exiting scent as he went off to work.

Elizabeth shook her head, embarrassment by the stupidity that hope made you sink to.

He had never come for her.

Never written, never contacted her in any way that would suggest they even once knew each other.

And that was her thriving motivation for not dwelling on him. Any one thing that involved him. She didn't talk about him, with anyone. When his face was in the paper, she'd cover it; trash it if it happened to be found in her apartment. The cramp in her heart would subside and it was coming to the point where after only a few hours the pain would relent and she could go on, continue her charade.

But now, sitting on the fiftieth floor of the classy nightclub that consisted of a mile wide variety of lavish gold and harsh ornate furniture, Elizabeth couldn't escape what she had come to do next. There was no turning back, no matter how uncomfortable she was plopped in her Walmart black knee length pencil skirt at the shiny bar. Women around her were covered in furs, stilettos with platinum buckles and sparkly jewels that winked from various other areas of their artificially tanned and toned bodies.

She didn't fit in. She didn't belong in a place like this. But coming here was her only assurance that she would see him.

Especially tonight. Tonight was the opening of the newly owned establishment by Jason Morgan. He owned the building, lived in it if the rumor were true, and now he had renovated the top floor to expand his new success further with this high priced lounge/night club.

" Another club soda with lime ma'am?"

Elizabeth jolted in her seat, gripping the edge of the tiny stool for balance. " Um, no. I'm good, but thanks." She smiled up at the young bartender who had diligently been serving her drinks for the past hour, but he was already gone, attending the customer next to her.

This was not going to work. She wondered how he'd react, what he would do. Maybe, Elizabeth thought, horrifyingly, he wouldn't even remember her. He had made such a name for himself in such a short time span. The success, the riches, the notoriety had to be overwhelming. In a good way, of course. Many a New Yorker would kill to be overwhelmed the way Jason Morgan was.

It was weird, thinking about it. Jason never seemed to care for such superficial things. He was a simple man, with basic simple goals. From what she had learned from him in the short time they had spent together, he liked moving from place to place, not forming attachments or developing any habit that would draw unwanted attention.

This whole place, Elizabeth turned scanned the pulsating dimly lit room, was not him. Not him at all. Gaudy, garish, obscenely flamboyant and tasteless. The furniture, the people, the music, none of the ambiance provoked an inch of the charisma or quiet strength the man behind the name possessed.

The soft murmurs surrounding her heightened, snatching her attention from her wasteful presumptions. It was arrogant to assume she really knew a man like Jason just because she had known him in one specific way. It was even more arrogant to be here, thinking he would want to see her, want to know why she was here, after all this time, but she wasn't working off arrogance.

Elizabeth Webber was trying to do the right, honest thing; always the girl scout, always thinking about other people's feelings before her own. She had been sitting on the miniature sized bar stool for the last hour heedlessly believing he would want to know, he had every right to be fully aware of what was going on.

But now, in the midst of his people, out of sync with this environment and everything it embodied, she wasn't as strong in her convictions as she was before she entered this dark den of excess.

The noise clambered around her, wiping away the residual design of her thoughts for good. She turned, noticed most of the party goers, who consisted of stock brokers and high priced call girls, were all centered on the huge three elevators near the west wing, across the ballroom sized dance.

A sputter of nerves unraveled in her stomach and she laid an affirming palm there, swiping her thumb along the tiny bump of her stomach.

The sounds grew louder and she took advantage of the moment to straighten her blouse, rebutton the first pearl button of the gray silk fabric. The ridiculous thing would not stay closed. She shifted her skirt as well; the side seam was half away around her back from sitting so long.

She had tried and hard to make herself appear somewhat presentable, but in her particular state, the task seemed damn near unworkable.

She had given up after two hours. She never liked dressing up, it was a waste of time and she simply was no good at it. Feminine products like makeup and hairspray were as foreign to her as if someone had put a gun in her hand and asked her to shoot the thing. It just didn't click with her and obviously it was a good thing she had stayed away because glancing across from herself in the bar mirror and seeing the clown job she had done to was playing grossly over and over in her head.

Thank god she had gone to the bathroom, wiped off the berry lipstick and lopped on some clear pink tinted lip gloss instead. She got rid of the dark brown eye shadow, left the black mascara and eyeliner on because the process would have been too ugly and time consuming. The results left her with a smoky sexy look that wholly contradicted the mumbling cluts inside.

At this point if she looked decent she was happy.

A man next to her elbowed his way to her side, yelling for the bartender. The music wasn't loud, but shouting was definitely mandatory if he wanted to get heard at the now overcrowded bar. With a twenty in his hand he leaned over, asked for a cranberry and vodka. Elizabeth could already smell the last three drinks on his breath and from the way his hazy eyes flinched and reddened; his head was feeling the drinks as well.

He half slurred to the young bartender, " Is it true that gangster guy who owns this place is going to be here tonight?"

Elizabeth stilled, immediately grabbing for her glass that had been empty for the last twenty minutes.

The bartender continued mixing the two drinks with a tiny red straw as he informed,

" He just arrived. Moments ago, I believe."

" Cool."

" Mr. Morgan has his own private VIP room, sir. You won't be allowed in unless you are on the guest list."

Elizabeth blanched, her face had to have gone as white as casper the ghost. The man besides her gulped down his drink faster than the few disbelieving blinks she was giving.

Her butt felt glued to the seat after all this time, but she made herself get up and move. The lounge or whatever this establishment's purpose was had populated immensely in her short time thinking and rethinking at the bar.

Damn it.

He was here.

She should have known.

No wonder she had got that nauseous twinge before.

Standing near the border of the dance floor with the wide velvet path to her left that lead to the enormous elevators or a small closet of a room that was draped with a silky curtain and a muscled man standing in front of it with a clipboard in his hand.

That had to be the room.

She pushed her body to move forward though every muscle stubbornly protested along the short journey. Her heels weren't horribly inappropriate but they sufficiently worked her feet numb, making her back ache. Now, that was attractive, finally seeing him again as she hobbled towards him like a geriatric in dire need of a walker.

There was no line which she found a bit surprising. She stepped on the one small step that separated the distance between her and the scary looking bouncer.

His face remained rooted straight.

" Excuse me, sir?"

" Yeah." He fixed his ear piece, not hiding the fact that she was annoying him.

" I was wondering if it was possible to talk to Jason Morgan for a minute." She hated how her voice was so tiny next to this man's presence, easily squashable with one word or gesture.

He answered with an entertained but dry huff. " No, lady. Not possible."

What now?

" Listen, it's very important. If I could just see him for a minute." Her hand fell on his overly muscled forearm. He didn't notice the contact. " It will only take a few seconds I promise."

He gently released himself from her grip, finally peered down at what she surmised was the list of guests. " Are you a friend of Mr. Morgan's?"

" I…well yes. I mean no." She groaned harshly, suddenly a sweep of dizzy heat fell over her. " I used to," she clarified finally in a weak voice.

" What's the name?" he asked, monotone, already scouring through the long list.

" Elizabeth Webber." She shouted over the loud song that had just come over the room.

He searched for what had to be two seconds before he said. " Not here. Sorry."

" Oh. I see." Tears of disappointment flared in a burn behind her eyes, but she swallowed them. " So there's no way-"

" No." He answered, now showing his own patience had run out. " If he's not too busy with his guests, I'll let him know you were here looking for him."

He shifted sideways, using his shoulder to block out her presence and bring an end to the conversation for good.

So that was it.

This whole thing was a waste.

She wasn't stupid enough to believe this man was actually going to remember her name let alone give Jason a message when he was so obviously busy with his _guests_.

God, how dumb was she!

Jason had practically run for the hills once his assignment of keeping her and her family safe was over. Did she really think he'd want anything to do with her now? Just because…

Elizabeth eyed the elevators…the line to leave was unbearably long and she didn't have the tolerance to stay in this place for one more second. She had to get out of here. She was nauseous, fed up, tired, and absolutely run down from all this nonsense; nonsense that she had spent hours mulling over and it didn't even amount to anything.

She saw the small dark path centered between the VIP and the elevators and took it without thinking twice. She winced every time she took a step, her ankles were killing her from the stupid impractical heels. She saw the service door for the stairway and her eyes brightened, staring at the gray door as if it were her salvation.

She had had enough with this classless, uppity place.

She should have never thought about coming here to see him.

He was with guests after all. _Guests_. She would only need one wild stab at a guess to gather what type of company the bouncer was referring to. She had peeked her head in for second when the bouncer was supposedly going running through the list and all she saw were what looked like horny young successful business men and women who were paid to be gorgeous and please them.

Well, if that's what Jason Morgan wanted. If this was the life he had chosen then he was not the man she had thought him out to be.

She folded a hand over her stomach, her forehead leaning into the cool feel of the door. Tears fell unannounced. She wasn't even sure why she was crying.

Another tear skipped down her face, hitting her cheek and splashing onto the wall she was practically embedded into. She straightened, tried to wipe the flood of crying that had probably savagely ruined her amateurish makeup job and swept off the heavy fuzz her tears had done to her body with a clean swipe of hands.

She heard a man shout her name from the not to far distance, but she couldn't be positive. Her brain was still a little light headed and the dizziness was getting worse now.

" She's right over here…Ma'am…Miss Webber right?"

She didn't answer, her tongue had gotten stuck to the floor of her mouth and her bones had locked shut, fusing to her skin like a magnet. He was there. She just knew it.

" Funny…Mr. Morgan just came out as you left Ma'am. I told him who you were and he wanted to see you…talk about…"

Elizabeth turned, met the eyes of the man whose attention she had been seeking all night.

" …perfect timing."

The bouncer's words faded as his eyes floated in between the two people who both seemed to be under some trance he wasn't privy too.

" If there's anything you need Mr. Morgan-"

Jason waved a hand his way, but didn't look at him. " That's all." He spoke with hushed authority. The burly bouncer complied immediately, needing no other encouragement but the soft spoken words of the man who signed his paychecks. He was gone and with him he took the last available supply of air for Elizabeth.

He looked good. She thought bitterly. The exact opposite of how she was feeling. He barely resembled the man she vividly recalled night after night, but it was still Jason. There was no mistaking him for any paunchy CEO or pampered socialite in the room.

Gone were his trademark wrinkled plain t shirts and worn blue jeans. He was wearing some expensive suit by a designer she probably couldn't even pronounce let alone afford.

A midnight colored suit that was tailor made for his body structure along with a lighter blue shirt and tie fitted his body now. Hair the same but gelled. Not lovingly tousled like someone had lovingly stroked his hair for hours attentively. Now it was stiff and straight, bringing out the sharp angles of his face, the strong square of his chin.

The eyes that stared back at her where all that was left of him she could sense were truly him. They were guarded but engrossed in wait, blue glitters suspended on her.

She couldn't tell with her own emotions clogging her if he was happy to see her or not. He was definitely caught off balance and doing a mixed up job of hiding it.

Hands in pocket, he stepped closer, making a shadow over her.

Elizabeth felt suddenly aware of how underdressed she was compared to him.

" Hi." He let out in a husky whisper.

He seemed as overwhelmed by her presence as she did. The corner of his mouth tilted up in ease, gorgeously seductive as a sparkle of fascination tinged his stare. He was still playing catch up with his emotions as well.

Entranced, she followed his smile with her eyes, one forming on her own mouth from the beautiful visual in front of her. " Hello."

" How are you?" He leaned in, a small imperceptible step that made Elizabeth's heart thud down to her ankles.

The sincere timbre in his question made her eyes want to close and her knees tingle to buckle. She relaxed the tip of her shoulder onto the edge of the doorframe. " Fine." She nodded automatically, almost forgetting what he has asked. " You?"

" Good." He answered, his features ambiguous, revealing nothing.

His luminescent eyes followed hers as they traveled around the small tucked away hallway. When they finally locked in on his again, her insides swayed. Taking him in with a weak stomach was a devastating process. Here she was, crampy, achy, bloated, looking like something the cat dragged in and he was standing two feet in front of her with all his gorgeousness, not a hair out of line. God she really hated him.

" Nice place." She complimented stiffly. Damn she thought she was getting better at this acting thing. Why did she always tend to falter when he was in the picture?

" Thanks." He dismissed carelessly, his attention riveted on the top of her head. She deduced he was probably wondering how his people had let her by in such a messy state.

" Oh, I'm sorry. It's been a long night." She knew she was blushing, felt the heat of her embarrassment rush and fester on the nerves of her cheeks, turning them numb and sluggish under his inspective watch.

" No." He rejected her excuse with a slight shake of the head. His face leaning forward to catch her suddenly timid eyes. " You look…"

" A wreck." She supplied dryly, flattening the frizzed mess with the only tool she had available, her hands. " I came straight from work so…" she shrugged under him, feeling especially small at the moment.

" You're beautiful." His tone was absorbedly low, grazed darkly with a intimate throb that made her blush, made her feel like the only reason he was so sure was because he had had her naked and lush and his eyes had craved for the sight of her then. Like they were now.

But she also remembered that he had already admitted to being attracted to her and it was a weakness he had allowed himself to indulge in because of the time they had spent together. Attraction didn't equal love.

She cleared her throat, stepped around him." This place doesn't seem like something you'd be apart of."

When she turned she saw his wide shoulder's flex up thoughtlessly. He turned as well, meeting her gaze. " It's a good investment."

" Right." She nodded even though she didn't understand. When had Jason Morgan become interested in good investments? Where was the man who liked to travel, go places, drink beer and eat over the counter?

" Why are you here, Elizabeth?"

The potency of his liquidy blue stare pulsated back at her, made her forget how to answer his question, how to speak coherently. " I, um, I needed to see you." She said as she toyed with the top button of her blouse, realizing it had unbuttoned again.

" Why?" His eyes swept down when her attention went to button and quickly up when she was done.

She licked her sticky glossed lips, struggling for the best way to approach this delicate bombshell she was about to drop on him. " It's complicated."

He came closer, his face suddenly hard with worry. " How? Are you in trouble?"

" No, no. Nothing like that." She swiftly cut in. He immediately relaxed, bent his head down to take an acute relief of breath. When he looked back up at her, his features were softer but still bunched down, perplexed. " Is there anyway we could talk-"

The quick curt shake of his head stopped the stream of words. The flow of intensity in his stare peaked. " That's not a good idea." He divulged in a scraped murmur.

" Oh," was all her body would permit to come out. Spots flitted around her vision, her knees had turned to jello and she was way too hot in her clothes. His answer bounced around in her blackening mind.

This was it. He was dismissing her and she had no other option but to tell him here.

" Are you okay?" He came to her side, cupping her bare elbow. She felt the jolt of awareness bury itself in her bloodstream and wave against her senses, even through all the weirdness her body was experiencing at that precise moment.

God, he sounded so concerned. She brushed him off, scolded herself for the moment of weakness. " Yeah. I'm fine."

He ignored her withdrawal or maybe he just didn't seem to notice as he stepped near her again, reaching for her arm. " You don't look so good."

She twisted out of his impending hold and came to stand opposite him on the other side, leaning her full weight onto the wall. " I've been under the weather," she excused lamely.

He didn't buy it, but he also didn't want to argue with her. " Sorry."

Her eyes beamed into his. " It doesn't matter."

Now that she had eyed him so brazenly she wanted to let up but he kept her imprisoned in the exchange, locked in place, under him. " You're as white as a ghost, Elizabeth." He didn't try to disguise his obvious disapproval.

Her back stiffened, her spin going rigid like steel. " I don't need your help."

" Don't be stupid."

" Don't tell me how to be." She yelled back, defensive.

There was long thick silence after that. He appeared unalarmed by the tense build in the atmosphere, swirling between them like the wake of a rising storm. She, on other hand, was at the end of her very short-leashed fuse.

Composing herself with what little control she had, she glided her fingers through her hair, tucking her lower lip into her mouth for a quick second before releasing the plump flesh.

" So everything's going well for you. You're happy?" She asked, hating what she predicted the answer to be.

He plowed her with his scrutiny, his unemotional return ringing dull to her ears. " Yes."

Her vision blurred. " Good, that's good." She twisted her fingers together.

" I guess." He supplied hoarsely, taking a furtive move in front of her. " You?"

" Great." She answered hastily, fixing a smile his way, but was sure to avoid eye contact.

" Things couldn't be better."

" I'm glad." He didn't sound it.

" I should go." She sat up from the wall, clutching her purse with a death grip. " I have work early."

He fished for something out of his back pocket, fingered the roll of hundreds, picking a crisp bill out and handing it to her. " Here. For a cab."

Eyeing the money like he had just offered her a dead rat, Elizabeth pushed his hand lightly away, looping her pocketbook around her shoulder. " I don't need your money."

" Elizabeth." He sighed impatiently.

" Don't insult me." She whispered, evidently already offending her by her affronted tone.

" I wasn't trying to." He retorted, shoving the loose but folded bills back in his pocket. He waited for her to look at him but when she didn't he was forced to allow some of his anger to come out. " Why did you really come here?"

Now or never.

She knew that if she didn't tell him there would never be another opportunity. He was busy and he obviously didn't have time for small talk. There was never going to be an exact perfect time. There would always be some excuse not to tell him, but she had to. It was the right thing to do.

" Jason, I came here tonight to see you because-"

" Baby-" a soft voice purred from the darkness of the opening in the hallway.

Elizabeth's eyes bounced between him and the noise, not understanding who she could be calling to. Elizabeth was about to tell the woman that whoever she was searching for wasn't not here, but when she saw Jason's face grow tight and uneasy for the first time, reality came running down on her, with cleats on.

" Baby, come on, the party's going into the other room. What are you doing?"

A tall, leggy red head with silk curls and alabaster skin bled from the night like air. Her dollish features were stunning along with her lengthy body that could be mistaken easily for that of a runway model.

The black dress she wore scooped low in front and back, making even her bones look naked. She had little makeup, she didn't need any. Her pouty lips were desirable nude and her almond shaped eyes accented the natural allure of her face.

She fished inside her cell phone sized glittering purse. Found what she was looking for, her cigarettes, and brought one to her mouth.

Jason's eyes were still on Elizabeth.

Elizabeth, watched the redhead like she had just floated down from the heavens and announced she was the new virgin mother of Christ, shook her head unbelieving.

" Elizabeth-"

Her name coming from his lips was all it took to awaken her from her incredulous trance. " I'm sorry I tore you away from your party." When he came to move closer she threw razor-sharp daggers his way and he immediately relinquished, but didn't back away completely.

" Elizabeth." He shot out.

" No, please go back to what you were doing." She stepped away as the woman moved closer to Jason's side. " This was a huge mistake," she whispered, more to herself. " I'm happy for your success." Her words came out shaky, drenched by her shock.

" Bye Jason."

"Wait. " Jason rushed forward without thinking about the companion by his side, but when the red head's hand came up and she placed it gently and persuasively in the center of his chest, he was starkly reminded, like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him, where he was and what he was about to do.

" Where are you going?" she asked, softly, leaning into him, practically whispering into his ear. " You have guests to entertain, Mr. Morgan."

He shot her a look that would have made stronger men cower into a corner, but she was too buzzed and had become exceptionally tolerant of his severe mood swings, being his personal secretary aided that particular strong point.

" Jason, let's go back. Come on."

* * *

Elizabeth was wobbling so badly by the time she hit the elevators she wasn't sure if the trampling affects stomping through her were because of her condition or because of what she had just witnessed.

She saw the elevator door open as she turned the corner and immediately flew in before the door closed.

Elizabeth didn't notice if anyone else was in the elevator, she was so lost in her own clouded turmoil, she couldn't shift her head straight enough to get herself to pay attention. Clutching her stomach, she pressed her head into the side of the cold gold metal of the wall next to her.

Damn it. Why did she come.

She sniffled, bit down as a rising burn of overflowing cries threatened to capsize her. She muffled the moan with her hand, biting the heel of her palm. She wanted to scream, thrown something. S,he could think of at least ten different objects in her apartment that were inexpensive, breakable and would not be missed in the least.

" So, when are you due?"

The question cam from somewhere behind her.

The accent was definitely New York, Italian. She didn't mean to whip around and gasp, but the fact that she thought she was alone and that the man had keen observational skills plundered her, breaking the loose hold on her usually rehearsed reactions with strangers.

The man was handsome, older, late fifties, but distinguished. Salt and pepper hair, olive oil skin, dark silk eyes that revealed nothing but lured a person in with their charm. Expensive suit, all black, which made him look tanner, more sinister. But still, he looked like a grandfather.

He smiled, took a nonthreatening step closer and handed her the scarlet hanky from his jacket pocket. It was the only piece of color on him.

Elizabeth took it immediately, not wanting to be rude by refusing him. The more she peered at him, the more the gentleman reminded her of an older version of Sonny Corinthos. The thought made her pause, grip the satiny fabric tighter in her fist.

" First trimester is the worst. At least that's what my daughter told me with her first."

Up close she realized he wasn't really that tall. Maybe five- five, the most, but his bold personality and unnerving confidence made him appear much taller.

His gentle dark eyes softened and for some reason Elizabeth wanted to cry. It had been so long since she had talked to anyone. So long since she met someone she could really confide in. No one knew her life, her feelings.

She licked her lips and she stuttered against the frog leaping in her throat." How did you know?"

He laughed, the crinkles of his face spreading, pronouncing his age further. It melted something in her heart. She reminded him of someone. Someone she could know and trust.

" Well, I remember my wife when she got pregnant with our first, god, she was radiant." His pinkie ring winked at her as he brought his hand up to scratch the smooth surface of his flawless Mediterranean complexion. " She didn't even have to tell me. I just knew."

Elizabeth smiled back, captured by the genuine nostalgic pride of this stranger's memory.

" How many months are you?"

" Two."

" Nervous?"

" Does it show?" Elizabeth chuckled, pushing a tendril of hair from her face.

" You'll be okay." He patted her shoulder just as the elevator dinged for his floor. Elizabeth went to hand him the hanky back but he gestured with a shake of his hand and mock insult on his face. " When you give a beautiful lady something, its in good form to let her have it forever."

" Thank you." A spring of tears caught and stayed on her lower lids. " It was nice meeting you."

She brought her unoccupied hand up to shake his and his large rough hand swallowed hers. " Elizabeth Webber."

" Anthony Marcone." He let go, walked over the small line that separated the elevator from the floor, but came back, stopping the door with one hand as peeked his head in.

" Good luck, Elizabeth. You'll be fine. I know it."

She swallowed, not believing a word he said, but was somehow grateful anyway. " Thanks."

He smiled warmly her way and then left, the doors closing in on her. She was finally alone. Her back hit the wall and she sank to the floor, giving into the urge to cry. And cry she did, harder than she ever thought possible. She never believed she could ever cry like that again. Not after Jason had left. But life always had a funny way of surprising you. What a sadistic bitch life was, she thought bitterly.

She wrapped her arms around her stomach, the fluttering feeling picking up. Yes, she was pregnant. How had that information been so obvious to a mere stranger but Jason, the father, couldn't tell? Was he so different? Was she?

Her decisions had been mounting for the last two months and she had put them on a huge pile marked waiting because she truly had no idea where she was going to go from there- once she realized she was having his child.

But now that she knew Jason had made himself another life, had found someone else, there was no point in telling him.

He had said once he never wanted a wife or children, the desire was never a dream he yearned for. This, here, the women, the parties, this was truly the greatest source of his happiness and she wouldn't be the one to put a halt to what he truly wanted.

Elizabeth placed her open palm on the small bump of her stomach, caressed the tiny life inside with the gentle feel of her hand on her stomach and concluded that Jason could never know.

**Authors Note**: This is _not going to go down like on the show. I planned Elizabeth being pregnant for a while, but its not going to be any way like what's taking place on screen. _


	40. Chapter 40

_Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. Kahlil Gibran _

He was going to kill her.

Anger stewed in him, massacring behind his branded self restrain which was usually reliantly prominent in matters such as this one.

But all his sensibility, which he was heavily barren of at the moment, tended to fly right out the largest window of his mind the minute a situation remotely involved Elizabeth Webber.

Zach, the stupid bastard he had put personally in charge of watching her at nights, was a goddamn dead man.

Jason could not believe his eyes when he came out of the smoky overly stuffed room to witness Elizabeth's night guard standing across the dance floor with the blankest expression wiped across his face. And when Jason glared back he had the fucking balls to give him a dumbfounded who-me look, eyeing the bouncer, Joe, for assistance.

Jason then moved on, interrogating Joe, who was busy sweating himself into dehydration, until he told Jason every single ounce of information that had transpired while he was locked in that furnaced closet the architect's had the audacity to call a VIP room.

He couldn't fuckin believe it.

He punched the button with his fist, didn't blink when he heard the plastic button crack. The private elevator, which was built specifically for him and his bodyguards, hummed down at a pace that was too slow for his liking.

What the hell was she thinking? He ran a rough hand over his face, debated whether to succumb to his swelling rage when he eyed the wall and was sorely tempted to punch the gold flexed barrier until it dented with irreplaceable damage.

He was so furious with her right now he couldn't manage to hold any thing in. Nothing he wanted to anyway. And he didn't have to ask himself why either.

It was because he had been holding every emotion in hostage for the last two fucking months _because_ of her, that the minute he saw her, the minute the realization that her body, her soft gorgeous absurdly beautiful face was in the same vicinity as him, the pull to react was that much stronger.

She had become this taboo, forbidden thing he had expertly trained himself not to think or reflect on. Ever. But he had built up this resistance and with that came a price because his weakness, thinking of her, was fastly turning his tactical resistance over on it's back.

Zach was a dead man. He didn't know how to pick up the fucking phone and call?

There was a reason he had systemized her schedule with the guards.

Max watched her during the day because Jason trusted the man with his life and because he knew Max would stop at nothing to keep her safe. He didn't have to second guess any of the man's motives.

Zach, the new guy, had her at nights. He was a good kid, worked laboring some of his merchandise in one of his warehouses since he was fifteen. Honest, never in trouble, quiet which he liked most of all. Plus working at night was like the graveyard shift, he really didn't have to do much. Just keep an eye on her apartment and if anything funny or weird happened, call straight through to him at his penthouse. That was it. He thought that was a pretty simple, laid out, no questions needed sorta gig.

They both informed him of her whereabouts only when she ventured to areas he considered too dangerous. That was when he personally got involved, called around, and made sure she was being watched like the goddamn president of the United States.

Otherwise, on normal days when she went to her two jobs and came back home or did some last minute grocery shopping, Jason got a report, lengthy but impersonal and that was the end of it.

Otherwise Jason stayed clear out of it.

But life always had other plans and they always seemed to work strategically against him.

Jason had recently learned from Max that Elizabeth had been to see her doctor. More than once. Her regular MD, but he was also informed that she had called into work sick several times and when Jason had asked for physical specifics on her Max had politely described her condition as pale and weak.

It was the first time since he found out she had moved to the city that he almost convinced himself to go and check on her, face to face. Damn the awkwardness and damn what he had promised.

He was also more than a little perturbed with the idea of her living alone, in New York City of all places. Whenever his mind obstinately went down that path he wondered as anger bloomed inside him, what her stupid family could have done to cause her to pack up and leave the only people she had in the world.

But that was something he would never know. Her personal life was none of his business and no matter how enticing the temptation to pry was he resisted each and every time. He already felt he was being invasive and overbearing, like a phantom presence in her life without her knowledge. Having her personal information about what she was doing at the doctor's office or who she went on a date with was where he drew the line.

So he bit his tongue, moved on, breathlessly relieved when each day passed and his men reported back that she was safe and fine. When everything was cleared at the end of the day with her guard, he knew he could sleep another night and not go crazy with worry.

He worried anyway. The emotion had become his shadow, stalking him even in his sleep.

He never really slept; was never a big sleeper to begin with. Five hours was more than an acceptable amount of time for his body to fully regain the energy and strength needed to take another day on.

But either way, the involuntarily process that came easy, without conscious thought to most human beings, was impossible for him. When he closed his eyes, he saw her. When he woke, he saw her. When an attractive woman made eye contact with him, filtered, or discreetly passed her phone number on a tissue to him after lunch meeting, he saw her and trashed whatever come-ons they threw his way, cursing the day he met her.

He'd wake up drenched in his own sweat, physically basting in a fear that gnawed on him daily, internally, releasing it's punishment on him at night when he was alone and defenseless to the emotion he harbored silently.

The thought she could be in danger again, be placed in any remote harm,, big or small by his hand, scared the life out of him, raided his senses empty.

One time he had such a vivid nightmare of the Sonny had taken her. He had been too late and Sonny had killed her while Jason was forced to stand in front of her body, cemented down to where he was, unable to go to her as he watched the blood surround her tiny limp form and convulse as she slowly died.

After that the nightmares only got worse, taunting him to the point where he actually drove down to her apartment at three in the morning and stood outside until he saw her small black silhouette against the white curtain of her third story apartment. He breathed heavy and long after that, trembling at the possibility of what he would have done if she never showed herself.

Then the horrifying thoughts bled into his daily routines, which were becoming more and more noticeable. Most of his businesses were legit now, at least on paper and the quantity of money he had gained from Sonny's empire furthered his fortune. Jason didn't want publicity; in fact he did everything possible to discourage it. The job of remaining anonymous in this city was full time work in itself. So basically he was a reclusive now, forging a self made prison.

The scarier fact was he wasn't the one complaining. He found the night life void, leaving him unsatisfied and more jaded then when he first started off in this business.

So he grumbled along, let the newspaper columnist write their shit, invent made up romances that didn't exist and for the most part he remained agreeable. He didn't care; they could say whatever they wanted. The people closest to him knew him and therefore knew none of the exaggerated drivel was true.

Of course, he hated the thought of Elizabeth thinking any of the fictional garbage was accurate in way, but he had convinced himself that if it kept her away from him, that was a good thing. So he told himself.

His ultimate goal was to get out of the business for good. Sonny said the fantasy was just that, something that could only be attained in his wildest of dreams. He didn't know why, he had nothing really to gain by leaving, but the longing grew stronger every day and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to get out and unhook from the leeching claw's of this blood sucking society he had been thrown into.

He felt trapped and that feeling was not something he handled well, but it was a trap constructed by his own say. His boss's death had left him with a lot on his plate and he handled all the business side fine, cutting revamping, firing, hiring. That part was tedious but a necessity for longevity and success. Most of the times, the two didn't go hand in hand, but he was working twenty two hour days to see that it did.

Being in the public eye was what was slowly but surely killing him. Before this everlasting headache his life had morphed into, he was a ghost, the muscle behind the man, the guy who executed Mr. Corinthos' wishes, literally. He didn't have to worry about what he was wearing and where he was going to be dining that night. Those were ridiculous details anal people lost hair over and got ulcers from. He didn't give two shits and growing publicity would not alter that part of him.

Shit like that frustrated him, turned him into two year old who just wanted to break something and stomp to his room.

A room in which he absolutely hated.

It was absurdly big. Too bright and decorated with too many fragile pieces he found were in his way, but most of the nonessentials came with the overly expensive penthouse and he barely slept in there anyway so he decided to just ignore the stuff instead. Most nights he ran himself out of steam till exhaustion hit and then he'd purposefully just plop on the couch. Sometimes still in his work suit and pants.

His life was not turning out the way he pictured it.

He didn't picture it that was the thing.

He didn't like plans or schedules. He did what he had to do when he worked for Sonny but after he was done he was his own man, on his own time. He was free to travel, see the world, get some new atmosphere under his skin.

Now, he was chained down tight, yessing and nodding to rich strangers he was supposed to trust but didn't. He listened to them complain about their wives, lust after the nearest cocktails waitresses and stuff their faces till they were too fill and bloated to think clearly. And all he wanted to do was blow a whole through wall, run and never look back. He really missed his gun.

He had always been in control of his own destiny. But taking on Sonny's responsibilities changed all that to the extreme degree and he was beginning to think he made a huge mistake. He thought he could still be himself and do what was needed for his operation, but the two parts could not be divorced. His life was his work and he was trapped in a sticky never ending net of paperwork and responsibilities with no escape route.

The doors to the elevators sluggishly opened and once there was enough space for him to squeeze his body in he slipped through. He tugged his tie down, undid the first two buttons.

He didn't why, but he was choking on his own rage and he had to cool it. He was scaring himself and he knew he was going to make her jump in her skin if he evacuated any of his anger on her. After all, something was wrong with her and she had no clue that half of the New York mob would be there.

He didn't think she understood what kind of danger she potentially could have put herself in tonight if one of his business associates had seen them together. What made him want to double over more was the fact that right now he was madder at himself than anyone. He was being led around by his nose with her and she wasn't even aware of it.

He was chasing her down when he should be upstairs on his eighth drink, smoking cigars or some shit. He should be letting her go not tracking her like a savage hound with the scent of blood on his tongue.

He was surprised, shocked, elated, scared, and so many other things when he had been made aware she was there to talk to him.

He wondered why, he hoped and hated that she had come.

This was torture, agony and every other cruel emotion god granted a person when they were facing an eternal heartache that never seemed to end.

Hadn't he paid his dues?

He already spent every waking moment of every day thinking her. She was in his blood, her face a subliminal mark under every thought, emotion, sensation; the hollow of her neck, the limber curves of her fingers, the way her mouth parted and sighed, took over the space of his mind.

Sometimes in the middle of the day out of nowhere he'd remember the heat sinking feeling of what it was like being inside her. Tight. Hot. Embedded, buried so deep in her, he never wanted to break away

With her he always ended up finding more. Because it never ended with her. The sensation never stopped, he was always left her knee deep in desire; the feeling addictive, hungry, a climatic ache that never waned.

The perfume of her skin, the touch her flowering stare viciously prompted as her body rose and rolled in a seizing call only he begged to answer.

His eye caught her figure and the cab she had just hailed through the swinging glass doors. He leaped past the six steep steps between the lobby and the entrance with an easy effortless jump than strode forward banging the heavy glass door open with one harsh open palm.

Her shoulder's jerked up at the sound but she acted like she hadn't noticed, but she knew. She knew he was approaching.

That truth bothered him. She had come all the way out here to see him and had given up, automatically flying to the first and only conclusion that he was with Charlotte. Which couldn't be further from the fucking truth.

Unfortunately.

His life right now would be much less complicated if he could just let himself be with someone else. Charlotte had definitely made herself, her body, available to him on more than one occasion with advances transparent enough for even a blind person to read.

But, he admitted as his eyes gave her body a hotly excursional roam, the miserable pathetic truth was he had been celibate ever since her. He hadn't been with one goddamn woman, no one. Not before her not after. He was going fucking nuts!

And it was all her fault.

Stomping over as she bent into the cab, he growled, " Elizabeth." His voice blatantly undertoned with the forewarning that it would unwise to proceed.

She ignored him which made him move only faster, anger rattling inside him like a tin can in the midst of a wind storm.

He grabbed a hold of her elbow, yanking her body to him. Her body was so weightless like a rag doll against his strength; she went crashing into his chest.

He was surprised by how light she was. Elizabeth was naturally petite, but tonight she looked healthier than he'd ever seen her. Abundantly glowing, she radiated like stars were etched into the pattern of her skin.

At first she didn't try to back away which bothered him and he stared down at her, feeling like an ogre about to crush a delicate pearl. He thought he had hurt her somehow and let go of her like his touch had burned her, backing away. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, regretting how easily he swayed under the influence of his own fury.

He hadn't meant to be so rough and was genuinely daunted when her body didn't fight him as she fell into his arms only to push gently away with a shaky hand.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye. She brushed some nonexistence fuzz from her skirt and looked like she had the idea of going back into the cab which was still parked and running.

She twisted her head, eyeing the yellow beat up vehicle, pushing her purse back onto her shoulder.

Jason, head bent, eyes haunted as he watched her, licked his dry lips and spoke. "Elizabeth."

" Leave me alone Jason." She wobbled out, stubbornly content on never laying eyes on him again.

She came over to the window of the back passenger seat just as the young handsome driver with a thick Jamaican accent leaned over. " Do you still want the ride or not Miss?"

" Yes."

" No."

Elizabeth whisked her head in Jason's direction, slanting him a glare that would set off dynamite. " Butt out."

He came closer, each step deliberate, his cautious stare preparing for battle. " We're not finished talking," he dictatorially whispered.

" I am." She breezily exclaimed, turning from him.

" I'm not." He clipped out.

" Miss," he rolled down the window next to him. "I'm working off a clock here."

Jason was faster than her, stepping in front. " Here." He handed the man a hundred and jammed the wad of cash into his back pocket as he tipped his head dismissively. " Beat it."

" No wait-" Elizabeth slapped his unmovable body away, pushing with both hands, trying without success to move him aside, but her efforts were to no avail. The cabdriver was off, sputtering into the street before she could get his attention.

As she saw the yellow cab fade into the mass of her other cars and cabs, her vision exploded red and she turned unloading her anger on the man who had just put her in this predicament.

" Who the hell do you think you are?" she pushed at his shoulder, but he didn't budge, didn't seem startled. In fact he looked like he was quite expecting her to act so. "You know just because you boss people around now and your some big business man does not mean you can bully me!"

He flung an unfazed, but tempestuous glare at her, speaking volumes soundlessly. He grabbed his cell phone from his dress jacket pocket, pressing a button and bringing it to his ear as Elizabeth stood flabbergasted by his display of composed impassiveness.

She watched him, only momentarily distracted by the fact that it was same plain black phone he had always had, but then she heard him speak and was quickly revived to her normal state of rage.

" Yeah. Bring the car around." Jason asked flatly, flipping the phone shut after only a few words.

She groaned, beating her heel into the pavement as she came to stand dead center in front of him." Are you listening to me?"

Instead of answering, he decided to watch as a shiver slithered down her. It was late November and she was wearing a thin dress coat. What the hell was going through her brain? His stare heightened, freezing the blue into impenetrable blocks boring into her. " Here." He drew his coat off in one smooth motion and handed it to her. " Take my jacket."

With a pucker of full pink tinted lips she disregarded the polite gesture as she looked away and muttered," I'd rather freeze."

He stepped right to her side, hanging the coat in her face. He wasn't amused, but he was uncommonly tranquil when he threatened in a low rasp, " Put it on or I'll do it for you."

Knowing she had lost when she noticed the simmering of warning flare in his eyes, she wrenched the piece of fabric from his hand, hoping she had popped an expensive silk stitch in the process. " Jerk," she whispered, loud of enough for him to hear.

He smiled, crooked and handsome and goddamn annoyingly charming to the point where she felt her center pulse. She immediately turned, frowning at the unwelcomed sensation.

Jason, sidetracked by the gorgeous flush of anger on her face, astutely became obvious to her frigid turn and closed off silence.

He took a step towards her just as the black limo approached and parked near the curb.

He watched her features set, marinating in her stubbornness. The last thing he wanted to do with her was fight, but she was making that an impossibility. Of course, him acting like a barbaric asshole wasn't helping, but sometimes just the tilt of her chin defiantly perched up, rode under him.

" Elizabeth," he coolly spoke." Get in the car."

" Kiss my ass." She slung back, crossing her arms under her chest.

He knew she didn't hear him as he surreptitiously drew closer until he was right up against her back " In the car.", he whispered, each word nailed down with feebly held agitation.

She jumped, muffling her gasp with her hand. Sensing she would try to break away, he wrapped his fingers around the hand she was using to repress her reaction and brought it back to her side. He leaned into her until the whole of his mouth covered the entrance of her ear. "Now." He repeated, darkly.

Not sparing a glance she broke away, only because he had let her and using delicate steps she bent, submerging into the darkness of the limo.

Jason released the captured breath he had been keeping tied tight down. He was so busy consuming himself with being mad because if didn't he was going to fall. Fall into her, the tackling undertow of sensation was disturbing, disconcerting his purpose.

Which he kept forgetting was every time he peered into her eyes.

Leather creaked as he pressed his body into the seat next to her.

She was staring out the window, hand to her temple and a battled look in her eyes. " What?" she asked wearily. " What do you want?"

He wanted her to look at him but thought better if she didn't. He spared the unguarded moment to really look at her, trailing down her face, tracing her profile, especially her thick feathered lashes, small button nose, and pouty lips.

He tore his gaze away, this wasn't helping, he scolded himself. Flattening a palm into the small leather gap of space between them, he supplied, sounding tightly wound. " I want to know why you came to see me."

" I was curious." She murmured, distance in her voice.

" About what?"

"About the place."

" You're lying." He stated tediously.

She chuckled mirthlessly." Maybe, maybe not."

He tilted a glance her way, working against his strict caution. " You asked for me." He pointed out, gravely, wondering how she would dodge that fact.

She fastened him a contemptuous glare. " You found me," she accused, blackly.

" What's that suppose to mean?" His voice shook through his query.

Her fingers tripped over her mouth, in thought, her head falling forward as she raked her hands through her loosely pinned hair. " I thought you'd refuse me when the bouncer told you I was looking for you." She said without bite. " Why didn't you?"

He purposefully ignored the question, aware of what she doing and not letting her get away with it. " Tell me the real reason why you were here?" His tone notched up.

She played with metal flap of her purse. Shrugging her small shoulders, her chin tucked into her chest as she admitted lamely," I don't know…I guess I just wanted to see for myself that you were okay."

The admission and the rawness laced in every breath and word punched him in the gut. He pretended he didn't feel it, riding against the compelling need and asked in a secure tone, " Why wouldn't I be?"

She finally looked at him and such a big part of him which she hadn't. Her eyes looked bigger than her face, cast with a hollow vacancy like an old abandoned house." I dunno." She said, tears in her answer. " It was stupid. I'm stupid."

" No you're not." He leaned instinctively in, fighting the compulsion to swallow the short distance and gather her in his arms.

" Please." She swallowed the plea and his breathing cramped and burned in his chest with each tormenting syllable. " Just…don't."

" What's going on?" He asked gently, trying to draw her out. His thumb swished against the edge of the seat, inches from her ivory silk exposed knee.

" Nothing." She dismissed, clearing the hoarseness from her throat.

Each shift away from him, every time her chin wobbled, her nose went rosy, a strand of self control pounded against his reserve until he thought he'd snap from the pressure." Tell me." He persuaded lowly.

" No."

" You're not leaving until I know what's wrong."

" Stop it alright." Her voice cracked, she shone her teary eyes at him, gripping the cup holder next to her like a lifeline. " It doesn't work that way anymore."

His chest labored out, an iron vise around his chest plate squeezing. " What are you talking about?" He asked, his voice peeled back, ruined.

" I mean you can't just barge into my life and demand explanations." She informed, miniscule pricks of emotion blazing through in bits. " You don't have a say."

" I never did." His stare beat into hers, both quivering unsure of the origin of their quaking states.

" Well, then I was the one being stupid." She raged, self- deprecating. " But-but that was then. I'm not as naive."

"Elizabeth."

" Don't, please, don't." She demanded in a shrunken manner." I don't want to talk about it."

The tangible spasms riveting through her body made his skin hardened in place, lust envelope, but his concern for her overrode even his infinite desire. " Why are you so hard on yourself?"

" Because" she sniffled down, intensely grounding her mouth together, loathing ever word she forced out of her. "…I want to be strong and I always find myself the weakest when I'm around you….and the stupid part is I don't feel weak. I feel strong, but later on I end up regretting everything. I can't pretend around you and I hate that."

" Why?" He asked, his voice unintentionally velvet.

She darted a knowing look at him, as if he should already get it." It's make me vulnerable to you," the depth of her voice made her crack, falter, than breathe in and start again "…and I never want to be in that position. Not with you."

Jason had faced a lot of truths in his life, seen many faced as well; each one falling on a person's shoulders different than the one before. Sometimes, like when he had lied to Elizabeth about his feelings and she had taken them at face value, the truth was sneaky, hitting a person unaware, unprepared, destroying in pieces.

Other times, like now, the truth struck like a poisonous sharp talon down the center of his chest. She made him undone with her unfurling honesty and body language and all he had in return were words that were worthless and inadequate. He said them anyway, vibrating through the gruff fog of his voice. " I'm sorry."

She caught a lip between her teeth, played with it and sighed from her nose." That's not why I said that."

" I know." He softly agreed.

She kept fiddling with the strap of her purse, folding and unfolding the gold zipper into the indent of the zipper line. Swallowing what had to be a bitter tasting emotion, she frowned, finally tucking the small contraption in her small lap. " I don't want your pity okay."

" I wasn't aware of was giving you pity." He said inflexibly, stung. She should know better. The last thing he that was whirling through him was pity.

Catching his tone, she eyed him under the thick smoky color of her lids, provocative and irate all in one forceful move. " I know pity when I see it. I knew it then and I know it now-"

" Pity." The word staggered angrily from his tongue. Is that what she thought? She was just going to block out what really happened and compact the past down to what only she chose to remember so the pain didn't hurt so much? Had his decision to stay way really done that to her?

And was he that selfish to take it away in one fell swoop? Because he couldn't stand to see her like this. Which would be worse, setting her free only to hurt her again or making her live in turmoil with this harsh lie.

" Don't." She glared, palpably hurling her warning at him. " Don't rearrange the past to fit your agenda."

" I don't have an agenda." He let out, fuming.

" Right."

He was the one to sling her a glare this time. " Are you saying you don't trust me?"

" No. No, I'm saying I don't know you." She pointed at him, eyeing the suit with a repugnant flare of nostrils. Her stare softening, but in disappointment " This you. God I can barely recognize you."

She hesitated and he watched, hooked on her and mad he didn't know what she was going to say next only that he knew he wasn't going to like it.

Her eyes danced resolutely between his, caving from the firing intensity he was shooting her with, but she said it anyway." Or maybe I never really knew you at all."

" That's not true." He countered hastily, his voice edged in thick desperation.

" Isn't it?"

They sat face to face, neither relinquishing. She was seeking affirmation to the reasons for her life and he was seeking her. Just her and the simple unveiling naturality of the way she understood and got him. He wanted that now, he needed it. " No." He gulped down the constricting tightness and repeated. No." His tone bare, his eyes nakedly searching hers, penetrating every and all walls she had built up.

Her eyes immediately fell away, certain she had done it because it was her only defense. " I thought…I thought when we were together it meant something" She started tentatively, "…I thought when I looked into your eyes and I saw myself, the real me that's been hidden for eighteen years, reflected in you, I thought that meant something."

She didn't wait for the quiet to descend and paralyze her from moving forward. Her voice thick from unshed tears continued. " I know it did to me, but I was wrong about everything else. And if I was wrong about something that felt real, so real I went against every defense I have ever built to tell you-" she stopped herself, clamped her mouth closed and wiped the moisture from under her eyes and finished, " Then I don't believe anything anymore."

" Don't say that." He grumbled sliding unconsciously towards her. He was crowding her and he recognized that she must have felt it in the way she pressed into the door, but he couldn't help it.

" It's true." She concluded emotionless. " I have to go. Please move."

" Elizabeth." He reached for her chin, but she pulled away.

" No."

Her head was bowed and he brought himself even closer, driven for the sight of her face "I know I hurt you. But there's more too it than that. "

She lined him with a steady gaze, one caged with two months worth of pain. "I don't care. It doesn't matter anymore to me."

"It matter to me." He unleashed his soft words, they stirred against her forehead, made her eyes close tighter, in remembrance this time.

" I need to leave. I said please move."

" You drop back into my life, come to my club to see me. I knew you wanted to tell me something. I know you Elizabeth. And then you change your mind I supposed to just let you go?" His tone elevated, frustration mushrooming the deeper she dug her heels in.

" People change their minds all the time." She sobbed in a raking wisp of words. " Right?"

" You think I changed my mind?" he trembled out, shocked. " Is that what you think?" he evoked, dangerously low. The flare of his nostrils, the pulse of his stare, the hard but supple line of his mouth all emphasized the heavy struggle within to abandon all resolve and kiss her. Kiss her hard and deep, pin her to the limo door and obliterate the hurt, get lost in her moans and feel.

She felt it to. She had to. She was breathing like the task was difficult, her eyes were shimmering storms and her full fleshy mouth parted, each lip quivering against her will. " What does that mean?" she whispered between their inclined faces.

He cupped her jaw, sensing the immediate tension his touch provided. " There's so much I wish I could tell you."

" But you can't." She said, reading his thoughts, unable to hide the muffle of disappointment when she spoke.

" No." The one isolating word, coming forth dejected and forced.

She must have been prepared for his response because all she did was sigh knowingly and straighten, clutching her tiny dress bag tighter. " I'm glad you're okay…I mean, I'm glad you're happy and that everything is working out the way you wanted it to."

" Yeah." He replied unhinged.

" It's getting late." She tipped her head and he reluctantly released her.

Realizing she was going to leave and that this would probably be the last time they'd get to talk, face to face, he suddenly felt panicked at the idea of her slipping away again. Why did their encounters always seem final. " If you need anything or if someone-"

Her hand was already around the metal handle. " I'm fine. I've been in the city for a while. I can take care of myself."

She sounded so incredibly sure of herself, Jason felt a bit useless and overdramatic with his question. " Even so." He stated, turning over her light comment with his seriousness.

" If something happens, anything, you know where I am."

" Thanks." She opened the door, her eyes blurred with anxiety to leave the confined, stuffy space. " Take care."

" You too." He whispered.

She gifted him with only a fragment of her usually unadulterated bright smile, but the frail attempt now still had the same crushing power to alter his state of being, pulverizing him into shambles and knocking him down defenseless with one glimpse. " You too." His raucous return only heard by him as she shut the door.

There was a swift slow moment of silence before Jason ripped the cell phone from his pocket. Max answered after the fourth ring, he sounded like he had been in a deep sleep.

" Yeah boss?"

" Something's wrong with Elizabeth."

Max's sounded more alert the second time. " What do you need?"

" I don't know yet. But she's lying to me. I need answers." He spoke, deep in thought, mostly to himself. " Keep a close watch on her. Report to me if anything seems out of the ordinary. Anything." He stressed the last word hard.

" Sure boss."

" Thanks Max."

Jason clearly understood that he was going against every defense, every stronghold he had built for himself in the last two months. He got that but he didn't really care. She was in trouble and she was trying to reach out to him. He couldn't resist, no matter how much this might damage them both in the end again. It was second nature to want to be there for her and nothing on this earth was going to stop him if it meant easing her pain or making things a little less hard in her life.

She deserved so much more especially after the pain he had deliberately caused her. The excuse that he was helping her because it was only fair considering what he had done to her could be easily used to shield the real reason, but deep down Jason recognized why the real reasons for his need to help her.

He loved her, loved her more now than he did two months ago, more than he did five minutes ago. He wasn't going to let her get away with hurting herself or carrying whatever burden she was hauling around on her own by herself. Jason was going to find out what was going on in her life, get personal, whatever it took. If it was the last thing he did


	41. Chapter 41

_Indecision is the seedling of fear Napoleon Hill_

Jason wasn't sure what to think when his guard, Vincent, who stoppd post at his private office in the secretive west wing of the fiftieth floor, informed him that Anthony Marcone had been waiting for him for the past twenty minutes.

Honestly, he was too damn exhausted to care. He had Elizabeth on his brain, blotting all other allegedly imperative business out. No amount of paperwork at this ridiculous hour could tear him away from his thoughts no matter how intent he was on forgetting her.

Nothing existed when she was on his mind. Elizabeth and the whole essence of what came along with veering down that intriguingly dark personal path couldn't be dissuaded. He relished and cursed the private time, loving and scathing the self affliction he punished himself with.

But it was his and no one else's.

They were sacred moments; hushed and calmed times like his mind would take sanctuary in her. Nothing and no one could stop that. Whether reveling in her tormented him or made peace descend on his soul like the soft caress of her fingers, it was his own business and he didn't like being detoured from something he looked forward to everyday.

Carelessly, Jason unknotted the rest of his tie, shoving it in the inner front pocket of his dress coat which was beginning to become a bit tiresome too. But he would keep the stretched piece of uncomfortable material on, knowing that entering without at least a jacket was a sign of disrespect.

His office was smaller and blander than the rest of his ostentatious life and living, but unlike the club or his apartment where he had little say, this place was where he spent most of his day and it was probably the only room that truly reflected his personal taste.

Which was he didn't have any. He didn't see the big deal that he didn't care about style or fashion or what went with what. He let the interior designers and other partners do what they wanted with the rest of the floor, his office was just that- _his_, and no one was going to touch a professional finger to it.

Dull gray walls, strong dark wood desk, a nice black leather couch propped against the wall from his old apartment and a few other decorative pictures Sonny had forced him to buy when he witnessed the bare walls of his house years ago. Those picked out pieces were all that adorned the small twenty foot office and they were all that ever would.

When he entered he presumed to find Mr. Marcone sitting on his sofa, relaxed with a flex of impatience in his eyes. The man had done business with Sonny for ten years and never revealed a note of dissatisfaction or unhappiness unless he wanted something. All his movements were planned and executed with an ulterior motive, but unless one was practiced in their meetings with him, he was very discreet about his method of operation.

He found Anthony standing by the large glass windows behind his desk that swallowed the wall whole, but gave the room some form of life that was much needed.

Anthony turned; a sly warm smile educated and fixed on his face. " Jason. Good to see you."

" Anthony." Jason's tucked away his weary counter and greeted the man with a firm handshake, placing himself beside him at the window. " Sorry about the wait. I had a complication with a member of my staff." He explained solemnly, shoving his hands in his pant pockets, trying to remain relaxed.

After being in the closed confined space with Elizabeth, her scent still clinging to him, nipping at his mind like a relentless annoyance, he knew he was doing a shitty ass job.

Mr. Marcone smiled empathically, nodding with the grin of a man who had seen his share of taxing tediousness when undertaking a business as monstrously time consuming as this one. " Business has a way of bleeding into our personal life. Whether we want it to or not." He remarked, his downward stare still out the window.

Following his eyes along with his words, Jason nodded, knowingly, feeling the full weight of that truth all the way down to the core of his skull. " It's a hazard. Not something I've learned to manage quite successfully yet."

Anthony shrugged, patting Jason's shoulder, his dark eyes rendering a blissful note of melancholy. " With women there is no success in business." He rendered thoughtfully, taking in the stiffness that had entered his companion's body. " I was lucky, but others in this line of work have not been. There is seldom happiness or longevity when you try to juggle business and pleasure." He turned reflectively towards Jason. " What do you think?"

Jason should have been ready. But he wasn't. The fact was it was almost two in the morning, he had been up since four and he was being overpowered by his weakness for sleep. Now, in one momentous blast that had all disintegrated and he was being shocked into a rapid state of murderous anger.

The subtle inclination wasn't very subtle at all. Mr. Marcone wanted something. That much was obvious from the fact that he waited almost half an hour to see him, but what he wanted must have been graver than even he could fathom if he was senseless enough to toy with his own life and mention Elizabeth.

Anthony filled the gap of silence he had laid placed and waiting for Jason. " She's a beautiful woman. Men have been brought to their knees by far less attractive things,"

He enunciated with a slivered tongue.

Clutching the empty fabric inside his pockets, Jason continued his impermeable statuesque stance, the darkness of his raspy response Mr. Marcone's only indicator that he was greatly displeased. " Whatever you want, it does not involve her." His crystal eyes landed on the older man's, his glare going off in the small room like a land mine. " Ever."

Unperturbed, all the silver haired man did was give a palm's up shrug of halfhearted surrender. " Like I said, you can not juggle the two. Few could. Mr. Corinthos knew that."

" Sonny didn't involve women and children." Jason's answer was still hushed but interpretably severe to any man's ears.

" In the end he did. Did he not?" Anthony didn't wait for an answer. Jason concluded he didn't really want one. He was playing a game only he had the sick pleasure of enjoying.

" Doesn't matter. I don't want to harm her. In fact, I rather liked her. She was sweet, very accommodating in the small time we spent together on the elevator."

Mute and being inflexibly held by his tattered used up restraint, Jason swallowed the viscous downfall rage hit him with. His bones were horribly stuck under his skin, granite and paralyzed with the nightmare that was unwelcomingly bleeding and invading into his reality.

" What do you want?" He asked, darting a look down and out the window, realizing they were right above where he and Elizabeth had been arguing.

" Do you love her? Do you think it prudent to have such a supple young -"

" Mr. Marcone." His name was sharply pronounced above the gentleman's dangerously suicidal venture. " I understand Sonny did business with you and he respected your input, but…"

He stepped closer, watching as the first flick of fear leaked through Mr. Marcone's veteran resolve, " Let me make it clear to you now. She is none of your concern. She is not part of my business and she never will be. I suggest you remember that or our present partnership will end. Permanently."

" You shouldn't take things so personal." Anthony drew back, advising the younger man in a parental manner that made Jason want to shove him through the sheetrock of his office wall. " I was only wondering. She seemed quite upset when I bumped into her. A man should never leave a woman in such a state."

Jason smiled humorlessly, scratching the newfound roughness of his angled jaw. He had to do something, his hands itched to fight, destroy the impending danger that loomed heavily over her. He needed to get to her. Panic rose but he stifled the quick emotion that crept so easily, laying in wait. " She's none of your business. None of mine either. She was an old flame who has no grasp of reality. It's been over for months, but in her mind she believes we belong together. I've tried to let her down as nicely as possible, but it's coming to the point where I am tired of being polite." He explained, his level voice not hindering from its monotone position. " I'm tired of being nice with anyone to tell you the truth."

" Niceness if overrated." Anthony's black stare cut through, squinting to intercept the cracks of Jason' inscrutable features. " Besides, you are lying Mr. Morgan. Maybe you care for her and maybe you don't. It's none of my business, but there is something bigger going on here, that I'm not quite sure you are aware of."

" She's my personal business whether I care for her or not." Jason unwound the angry curl of his tongue to get the words out. " If you want to negotiate I suggest you do it now. I'm tired and my patience is running out, Mr. Marcone."

" Business! It's always business with you Jason. You are too serious for someone so young." Anthony complained disbelieving. " This woman…she was very upset and I can not seem to think of anything else at the moment. Why was she so emotional?"

" I already told you."

" In her condition," Anthony provided, accenting the word with a conspiratorial dip, " She should not be so upset. It's not good."

Despising the faux concern this complete stranger pretended to have for Elizabeth made Jason's vision blur and blacken, clouting all other reason from his mind. " I think you should go before I do something we'll both regret."

Ignoring his unveiled warning, Mr. Marcone proceeded in his carefully marked plan. " I did not mean to make you mad Jason. I know you are very protective of your private life, but there are whispers going about that you are very unhappy in the business and I can't help but wonder if there may be a problem that needs to be dealt with to see that you remain satisfied where you are."

Jason had to hand it to the man, he had definitely done his homework. He was cunning but only to a specified degree. " I'm fine. You're concern is unnecessary."

" Good." Anthony nodded, seemingly pleased and relieved by the acknowledgement.

" I am glad to hear it." He turned to gather his dress coat and gloves, making his way over to the door with a triumphant swagger in his walk. " See that it stays that way. I wouldn't want you to be unhappy." He glanced back at Jason as he opened the door.

" Or Elizabeth for that matter. Someone so young and innocent should never be marred with a life like this. I think we both know what such a foolish decision could lead to when the temptation can be so distracting to more important things."

And then the door closed.

Jason stood still, his anger forming an invisible adhesive that stuck him right to the floor where his body refused to budge.

Fuck. He raked a destroying hand through his hair and kicked the side of his desk twice.

This couldn't be happening. He had been so careful, done everything right by the fucking book like Sonny had taught him.

The groan of anger that ripped at the tendons in his neck was muffled only by the weak hold of his trembling mouth. The heavy piercing release of breath was the only sound in the room and Jason fought to even hear the exaggerated vibration. He had to be strong, not fold like a goddamn deck of cards. Elizabeth needed him now more than she would ever know was possible.

Anthony Marcone had been resourceful, diligently gathering the most personal of information. Jason didn't know how he had found out the things he had, but he had the upper hand now and Jason's only viable option was to take it back.

Anthony was a family man above all. From what he could remember of his profile he liked things orderly, very old school, respect and honor family first, business second and never mix the two. He didn't like outlandish displays of any kind, good or bad. He didn't like public attention, personal or not. It reflected on a person and made the rest of the organization take a second appraisal, questioning judgment whether his record was error proofed or not.

Jason had been specifically attentive to remaining anonymous in his particular state, which was a hard task, but he had done so for his own sanity and happiness. Obviously whatever he was doing was not working. He had to rethink his life, his way of business and how much at arm's length he was going to continue to keep Elizabeth. He didn't want to hurt her, but if he had no other options and keeping her near him was the only way to secure her safety, he would do so.

Suddenly these feelings felt all too familiar. He felt like he had been taken back to months ago when he had been at the same impasse and had made the right decision, but it had ended up costing him his best friend and her.

Jason wasn't so confident he was strong enough to do it again. Maybe it was better if he left her alone. For good this time.

8

Fantasy was not better than reality.

Not when her reality, at one time, in one breathless frozen space between past and present, had been better than any made up scenario her subconscious could create.

She stroked the spine of the book she had unwrapped from the new shipment that had just arrived. Tamora Pierce had been one of her favorite authors. She remembered how she would salivate on line at the bookstore when her newest book was released, eating up the pages in one sitting, always elated at the outcome, but always left wanting more too.

Her personal favorite was Alanna: the First Adventure, the story of girl who wanted to be a knight so badly she cut off all her hair, disguised her femininity and joined the ranks of knighthood among the other boys, fighting, sweating, hurting the way they did. She was fearless and wild, evoking the love of a prince and a thief with her natural charm and unapologetic lifestyle.

Elizabeth always envied her, fictional or not. She did what she wanted and never backed down from a challenge. Even when her confidence had been shaken and tested beyond the limits of human strength, she survived or made due with what was left.

Elizabeth had prided herself for years on being independent, headstrong, able to think on her feet without the aid of a boyfriend clinging to her shoulder or a life sucking appendage of a friend who lived to morph identities with someone else their age. She still didn't understand that one.

Her thumb caressed the hard cover, leafed through the new pages, her nostrils absorbing the fresh smell of unread book and loving it.

" Elizabeth, what you doing here?"

Armen and his speckled wrinkling hands waving in the air greeted her from the open little door behind the counter. She was standing on the other side by the register, stacks of books at her side, an empty cardboard box at her feet.

" We got a new shipment." She announced, unable to hide her bright smile at the obviousness of the statement. " I wanted to come in early to help. You know you shouldn't be lifting."

" I can lift." He said stubbornly, the white bush of his mustache twitching with mock pride. " How do you think I survived all these years. Besides, you should not be lifting in your condition." He said, his amber eyes shading as his lids lowered displeased.

" I'm fine." She rushed out, still embarrassed that he had noticed the tiny swell of her stomach. She was only two months but Armen, having raised six children of his own, said he just knew. She was small which made her pregnancy harder to hide.

" No fine. You sit and take calls. That is it." He waved the order to her through his thick Turkish accent. " If someone comes in, you help, otherwise, you stay in seat."

" Mr. Dietrejik,.." She saw his fury brow crinkle like a caterpillar walk. " Armen, I'm okay. Please. I like keeping busy. I'm going to check over our order list and then enter these into the system." She came around the small counter, looked at the stool and plopped on the uncomfortable circular round top that a toddler would find unfitting for his bottom. " See? Sitting."

" I don't like." He dismissed tweaking his mustache in a way that told Elizabeth he was worried. He did that lot. " No good. You should not be working. You should be home, resting. Ah? Why not? Why you here?"

She turned from him, sliding the stack of books closer to her. " You know why." She said softly. She didn't want to discuss this. Especially about something she couldn't talk about with him. With anyone.

" It not right. Where is this man who get you pregnant? Why not he take responsibility?" He came closer, his own voice deepening with tentative care. "You deserve more, Elizabeth."

" What I deserve is getting these books in so we can finally have our fiction section complete." She said as she searched around the counter for the invoice. " Then I will be happy."

" Oy. You stubborn like goat. You know that?" He pinched her cheek, started to chuckle when she turned crimson from the fatherly gesture.

This, in turn, made her ache for the parents whom she hadn't heard from in a week, who never tried unless she tried first now.

" I hungry. Need big break."

" Okay." Elizabeth plucked a pen from the top of the register buttons.

" I got some gyro with feta salad in back." He said teasingly, knowing his remark was doing the opposite of tempting her. " Maybe some yogurt sauce with grape leaves?"

" You want these books to stay new right?" She eyed him, her eyes crinkling under his mirthful surveillance as he nodded at her. " Then please no talk of yogurt sauce."

" Okay. You don't know what you missing." He lightly cajoled as he backed into the spare room.

" Mr. Dietrejik, can you close the door. The smell is-"

" Got it." He sing songed, sounding like his mouth was already half full with lambs meat.

" Thanks." She chuckled, her chest rising at the usual banter between them.

The smell of any food lately was making her green with nausea. She couldn't seem to hold any food or liquid down. Her doctor had told her that if this continued into the second trimester she could dehydrate and might have to be hospitalized, but for first trimester her symptoms were common and not threatening in any way.

Doctor Thompson had also become a little overly concerned because she was lighter in weight than most. So he encouraged her to gain weight, but, unfortunately, the opposite was happening and she was losing. She couldn't help it though. Her body simply refused to cooperate with what her health required.

Mr. Dietrejik was very protective of her in the short time she had been working for him and she greatly appreciated the concern, more than any word or gesture could vocalize. It was nice, being looked after. Especially now.

For some reason, she felt oddly vulnerable and exposed living out here. The nights were murky, evil bleeding onto each and every street the minute the moon eclipsed the sun. She wasn't worried as much for her as for the baby she was carrying. She had a responsibility to take care of the little one growing inside her. Her instinctive need to protect her child had taken first and full priority in her life the second she had realized she was carrying Jason's child.

After that everything else seemed trivial and unimportant in comparison.

Her whole being existed around keeping this baby safe and loved until he or she was a physical part of her world and she could love and care for him or her with all that was inside her.

She was so nervous and excited at the prospect of being a mother. It felt like a rebirth of some kind. She was no longer just Elizabeth, some lonely soul walking around without a purpose. Or the Elizabeth after Jason bombarded her life and pushed every other nonsensical thing out of the way, taking over her in his usual reckless way.

She was neither. She was both.

Mostly she was on the verge of motherhood and clueless. She devoured parenting books by the droves, stocked up her shelves with how to do pamphlets and what not. When she went shopping she always found herself voyaging with uncontained giddiness into the children's section. The little clothes, shoes, the smell of baby powder and feel of soft cashmere blankets…all a futuristic part of her life. She couldn't wait.

Even if the father of her child was never going to become apart of it as well.

God, how did she get here?

Did she even have to ask that question? She was here because Jason and her had made love. One night, one day filled with an innumerable amount of sex and she had become very pregnant.

People did that all the time, didn't they? Weekends of getaway sex, sex that was an escape from a reality they were temporarily tired of. They had done that in a way, but for her it didn't feel like running away, it felt like a discovery she had been searching for her whole life only to find it in the place she least expected.

Being intimate with him had changed her for life. Maybe the changes weren't physical markings, but they were there, grounding her soul down like the weight of his body, touch, piercing stare had somehow found a home in her memory, never letting her forget what they shared.

She placed a hand on the bump of her stomach. She didn't care that he didn't love her, this baby had been made with love. Maybe not his, but hers was consuming enough for both of them and this child. Jason and her hadn't just had sex, so much laid between them then just the layers of their skin and the wanting desire. Something eternal and permanent had weaved its way into each embrace, each starving kiss, each hungry gathering and release of their joint bodies.

Something wonderful and unnamable. Something she couldn't regret even if he did. Even if she regretted the rest now.

The frosty November breeze introduced the newest arriving customer. Elizabeth pushed back the loose fall of hair from her sloppy unkempt ponytail. She knew it was silly but lately she had been feeling watched, like eyes were always on her. She couldn't shake the ease it brought as well. Which was odd considering it should do the exact opposite.

The thought made her shake her head at the ridiculousness. Jason truly was in this child. The simple fact made her blush and pride surge hotly to her cheeks. How could that small fact be so sweetly real and make her so divinely happy in one second and make her sad and gloomy the next?

" Elizabeth, right?"

She swept her hand over her scorching cheek, hoping the flush had subsided a bit. After all, the heat barely worked in the rusty old building and it was almost into winter. She really had no excuse for such frivolous behavior.

" Yes?" Her stare veered up, but she remained scripting her checks amongst the marked books. Her pen froze in place along with her eyes as recognition took over. She straightened from her hunched position. " Last night…"

" Anthony Marcone." He offered his hand again to her but she was a little more reluctant to take the polite gesture at face value. " Elizabeth?" His head tipped in question but she was positive he already remembered her name.

" Yes." She licked her parched lips as he advanced a step closer, leaning closely over the wood barrier of the counter. She didn't know why, she had no reason to, but she felt acutely unprepared for him; like he had some upper hand that she had not anticipated.

" How are you feeling?" Anthony questioned with the intimate concern of a friend of many years. " Better than last night I hope."

" Much better," Elizabeth stammered, rearranging her haphazard clothing ensemble of a white oxford shirt and black slacks. She was wearing a heavy knit tan capable sweater over her work clothes and that made her feel a little less unexposed to this virtual stranger. " Thank you." She replied, trying to unstiffen her words, but there was no give.

" You look better. Last night was not a good night for you." Mr. Marcone divulged leaning on his elbow and flexing a brow of mutual understanding her way. " For either of us."

She recalled how well he looked last night. Dapper, oiled and refined like a well fed animal, sedated and content as a lion that had just gobbled up a zebra.

She couldn't decipher the rehearsed, well placed charm then. Last night her emotions had been wrapped around her tight like cellophane. She couldn't see anything but what she was feeling. Her stupid self pity had blinded her from any lurking danger and she berated herself now for such incompetence. " I'm sure you're night was much better than mine, Mr. Marcone."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. They remained planted on her, weeding out her strength with each dissecting look. " I am an optimistic person by nature Ms. Webber." He saw her freeze up at the blasé mention of her last name, but he didn't acknowledge the reason for his knowing such things. " I think today will be a much better day. Don't you?"

Elizabeth got the vaguest impression that he was talking about two very separate things. She nodded, her hands beginning to shake over the counter so she used them to restack the books at her side, moving them around. " I guess. I hope so for your sake. I'm more of a pessimist, I'm afraid." She tried to laugh but the sound came out strangled in a choke.

" Oh that is such a shame. Especially when only you can help make my day better."

" Oh." Her lips puckered out as her throat cramped for air her heart couldn't supply at the moment. Her body was at a standstill as she stayed locked in paralyzing fear. " I don't see how I can help you."

" Jason Morgan comes to mind." Anthony quipped dryly. " He is a shared friend of ours, is he not?"

When she couldn't unhinge herself from the frigid position of terror, he continued unfazed by her sudden disability to answer. " He is a business associate of mine and he made it very clear to me that he is no longer interested in your company. Is that true?" His voice had turned from lightly intimate and friendly to short and invasive.

" We were acquaintances at one time." She ambiguously replied, causing an impressed chuckle from the dark elderly man hovering over her trembling form. " He was correct."

" Smart and beautiful." He perused her face and body unabashedly, pausing at her covered midsection. " Jason Morgan is a fool to let you go."

She saw the unmistakable slight hesitance in his stare when his eyes reached her stomach. Shit, how could she have been so stupid? What the hell was she thinking talking to a strange man in an elevator? She wished she could slap this man into nonexistence and then give herself a good thrashing for being such a complete numskull. Jason was going to kill her.

Jason.

If he knew he might do something stupid, he might hurt himself.

" What do you want?" she clipped out, eyeing him under the veil of her thick lashes. " I'm working."

" So studious. Is there anything you don't do?" Mr. Marcone tipped his head in her direction.

" I don't beat around the bush. I'm busy Mr. Marcone, unless you need help looking for a book I don't see what else I can assist you with."

" Don't underestimate yourself." He straightened, tiding his already silk maroon tie, brushing a tanned hand over his immaculate mauve suit and the black coat donned over it.

" I have a favor only you can help me with. You see…I know you and him were once, an item, no?" He didn't wait for her to answer. " I need you to stop playing with Mr. Morgan's head. You're either in his life or not. I suggest you make a decision."

Lethargic, the fear doused over her like quicksand. She felt powerless under its cumbersome smothering presence. " Is that a threat?" she questioned, short of air.

" No." He said, sounding almost offended by the misused accusation. " Not at all. Please, I am a family man after all. But I have worked with Mr. Morgan for years. He has always been a man of quick precision and untimely devotion when it comes to his job. The last few months have proven contrary and after last night I believe you are the source of that."

" I don't know..." She stopped dead in her tracks when he raised a large hand to halt her excuse.

" Don't insult me. I know what I saw going on between you two in front of our establishment and it did not please me. Jason has been a ghost, barely around even though he is always in his office. I need his full attention at work and I am not getting that."

She didn't know what to say. She didn't know why Jason was acting that way. She hadn't been part of his life for months. If this man knew so much about them, he should know that she had been absent from Jason's life and it was an irrevocable sorta arrangement.

If Jason was acting out of character, it had nothing to do with her. She thought momentarily about telling Mr. Marcone, but by sharing that information she threatened to reveal other things and she didn't need this man knowing more than he already did.

" I must be going, but think about what I said. Please." He found his leather gloves in his pocket, put them on one by one. " Indecisiveness can be messy and lead to many other unhappy things. Make up your mind Ms. Elizabeth. Either you be with Mr. Morgan or you leave him alone. Permanently. I'd hate to make up your mind for you."

She didn't move just watched him as he coolly unleashed his threats like he was talking about this mornings sports page or sharing his taste in music.

He stepped over to the door, pushed hard, the old rusty gauges difficult to manipulate. " Take care of that baby." He winked, smiling like an old neighborhood friend; the dim sunset gleaming off his shiny hair. " Babies need a lot of attention. You will be a good mother, Elizabeth. Just remember to be safe. It's a scary world out there. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you and your child."

And with that last unforgettable warning, he left, not looking back as he hustled forward like a man on a very important mission.

She, on the other hand, hadn't moved from place in the last ten minutes. She knew she was as white as the sheets of paper she had been checking all day. She gulped down but there was no moisture in her mouth. Her tongue was stuck to her bottom of her mouth, her insides were squirming together, huddled in fright, and her jaw remained tense and locked.

Was there never an end to this danger? She thought she had escaped and yet here she was, thinking she had worked her way out of the fear which had invaded her not six months ago and it still found her.

There was no end. There was no beginning. It was just a continuous circle that revolved until someone died and broke the sick demented cycle.

Mr. Marcone didn't have to worry. Her decision had been made last night. She wasn't going to Jason again and she was pretty secure in saying he was not going to come to her. He hadn't for two months ago. What would be the difference now?

She gripped her stomach, for the first time a little relieved she hadn't told Jason about their baby. This was better.

Tears pooled low on her lids, bundling together and falling from her eyes like sad unwanted raindrops from the sky.

This was better.

8

The small ancient clock on the wall behind her chimed nine and Elizabeth sighed gratefully, thanking god for the small mercy for the end of another arduous working day.

She had finally finished entering the rest of the young adult fiction. Tomorrow she would make certain she had the whole shipment shelved and ready for purchase.

Armen had left a couple of hours ago, not without relentless badgering on why she looked especially peaked after his return from lunch. She had scolded him with as much conviction as her weary bones could muscle up, persuading him that she was fine, just a bit drained and she didn't need a babysitter of any kind.

He had huffed disagreeably around the store for the remainder of work, muttering in Turkish, every now and then saying a word she knew meant mule-headed. She certainly wasn't fluent in Turkish but she had overheard him more than once arguing with his wife over the phone saying the same thing and when Elizabeth had finally been brazen enough to curiously ask what the word meant he had turned bashful and confessed.

He had been adorable about it and they never discussed the fact that she had picked up on what he was saying or that it was targeted to his wife of thirty five years since. She let Armen think what he wanted. She was tempted to confide in him, but knew that such an unwise move could harm him or his family and she couldn't live with herself if anything should happen to him.

Being alone now made her thoughts all the more persistent. She had fully made up her mind about what she was going to do and that was that. She would stay away just like Mr. Marcone, Jason, her family, and the rest of the world seemed to want. She wouldn't hassle him with the responsibility this unwanted miracle required.

But this baby was a miracle none the less and that fact she couldn't ignore.

She hated presuming for Jason. She hated even more the idea of him ever finding out and the look of betrayal that would cross his face when he peered into her eyes coldly and accused of her being a liar.

But there was more than just one truth here and she was desperately trying to abide by the biggest truth; the one that would keep everyone else in line and happy. Jason's happiness mattered to hers and even if it meant not being with him, if he was happy, then she in turn was glad she could give him that to him. No amount of obligation and saddling a kid to his side would please her, no matter how much the truth supposedly set a person free.

He was free now. Just like he wanted. She couldn't take that away, not now, knowing he had finally found what he was looking for.

A stout knock on the glass door had her pausing from rubbing the sore knot in her shoulder. She turned halfway, letting another weary sigh spill from her mouth.

" We're closed." She said, just loud enough for the patron to here.

Another hard rattle of a knock made her blink and turn all at once. " I said we're closed-"

Her words died in her throat as impenetrable blue eyes cast themselves straight at her like lasers.

She walked slowly over to the door, the nervous habit to clutch her throat needling at her. He didn't resemble the composed impassioned man who she had conversed with just last night. He looked crazed and she recognized the desperation in his face because it mirrored the emotion she had been pressing down inside her for hours.

Did he know?

" Jason." Her hand was on the gold rusty knob, her eyes stuck on the bob of his adam's apple. " We're closed."

"Open the door." He didn't seem to hear her, his palm was against the transparent glass, his eyes beaming a raving undercurrent through her. " Please. I need to talk you…please."

His voice cracked harshly on the last word and she felt her skin brighten as heat soaked her pores and gathered, making him and anyone else that was looking at her aware of her stunned state.

His emotions always tended to bleed on to her. She couldn't be with him without feeling what he was feeling, experiencing the same intensity of sensation as he was. It was if they were sharing the same body.

She unlocked the door, still not looking at him and turned her back. He quickly entered, relocking the doors as if he had done so a hundred times and eyed her frantically up and down.

" Why are you here?" she asked coolly, walking over to the counter to finish collecting the papers she had made a mess of in her work.

" I needed to see you." He said, facing her way and coming closer.

She pretended like she didn't notice, like her skin didn't prickle with each step his nearing body took towards her.

" We have to talk." He stated plainly but out of breath.

She continued her work, nodding, not in understanding, but in recollection to her resolve.

" There's nothing to talk about. We cleared everything up last night I thought."

" You thought wrong."

" Did I? I think I made myself perfectly clear. I wanted to make sure you were okay and now that I have, I can go on." She rattled on, blindly, sounding distracted by her job when really she was searching for something, anything to get him out the door. "I think you should do the same."

" It's not that simple." He contradicted impatiently. " Things have become complicated."

" That's life. Remember? You're the one who told me the bigger the risk the bigger the complication…or something like that." She blandly surmised. " I'm sure whatever it is your dealing with I can't help."

Jason ran a hand through his messed hair. " You're not listening."

" I am." She flippantly responded.

" No you're not." He stalked over to where she was rigidly posed in the throws of work. He ignored her, stomping right up behind her, trapping her from movement or impending escape. " I need you to be quiet and listen."

"How dare you," she whispered with a chilling tone that would have iced the surface of the furniture with its frigidness. " This isn't the cabin…I don't have to do what you say. I'm not under your protection any more."

He held on to the bark that roared for release. " If you don't stop what you're doing and put those papers down so help me-"

She whipped around, " You'll what?" She said shakily, enraged by the audacity this man had to barge into her life after all this time and demand such things as if she were a goddamn robot.

If he expected her to drop and bow like one of his subservient workers he could go screw himself. " You have some nerve coming in here. This is my place of work. I'm trying to make a life for myself. You can't just plow in whenever you want, shouting orders. It doesn't work like that way in the real world, Jason."

Instead of answering her he bowed his head down. She thought for a slight second that he was going to kiss her with the unquenchable fire in his eyes, the unyielding hold he refused to let her out of, but he stopped short on his journey down, taking her chin and lifting it up a notch, forcing her to experience the full penetration of his stare.

" How do you know Anthony Marcone?" he hissed, his thumb indenting in her chin.

Her hand, latched around his thick wrist, tugged but he wouldn't budge. " Let go of me!" she shouted.

" Answer the question, Elizabeth." He jerked her chin up. " How do you know him?"

The more he pushed the deeper her stubbornness leaped for control, wiping away whatever tinge of fright she had left in her. " That's none of your concern." She spit out, venom coursing in her stare. " My life is none of your business."

" Elizabeth." He ordered domineeringly, " How do you know him?" he brought himself to her eye level, pressing her body into the counter.

" I don't." She dodged his oppressive interrogating, her eyes scattering about like a trapped mouse. " He introduced himself to me. That's it."

His brow slanted, sardonically. " That's it?"

" Yes." Her tongue swept over her bottom lip and he watched like a fool drowning in his own weakness. " That's it."

He let her chin go, but didn't back away, eyeing her like he had turned on the polygraphic switch of his mind and decisively come to an unwanted conclusion. " You're lying." He dryly responded, unamused.

She was trembling all over. He wasn't sure if the acute affects were from their touching bodies or from his capricious approach. He had run out of excuses for his horrible behavior. He was so scared, all this reminded him of the time Sonny had taken her, and he was feeling helpless all over again. He didn't know what else to do.

He removed himself, only slightly, giving her enough space to breathe and maybe even cooperate. He wanted to tell her everything, get her safe and tucked away in his penthouse. It was the only solution. Staying away from him wasn't going to work anymore and her staying in her apartment for one more night was absolutely unacceptable.

He knew not to take a man like Anthony Marcone's word nonchalantly.

_A man should never leave a woman in such a state_

Jason's brow pressed together, Anthony's word's bouncing around his head like a racket ball gone loose.

" If you think I'm lying why ask me then?" Elizabeth pressed weakly, folding her arms over her stomach and tucking her hands under them.

He glared. She was whiter than death, lips pale though still tempting as sin, hair sensuously disheveled, but all the more luscious to him, and clothes crumbled from spending a day's work leaning over a counter.

" Because I want you to be honest with me." His guttural answer still ensnared by her countenance and wondering why she looked so much more uncomfortable than yesterday.

" How about you start being honest." She flung at him. " Why are you here to begin with?"

Lashes down, body stiff like a porcelain figurine, Jason's eyes detailed her body with a thorough, meticulous searching, scouring for the piece of the puzzle he was sorely at a lost for.

" Because I…" his eyes fell to the enclosed part of her that was hidden by the fragile barrier of her arms.

" _In her condition," … " She should not be so upset. It's not good."_

" What?" Elizabeth's eyes widened, the word catching like a bug had just flown into her throat.

Oh my god.

Pale.

Glowing.

Wanting to see him

Needing to tell him something…

His eyes blazed in a branding stare as they centered in on her abdomen. His decipherable features tightened and bulged with primitive pride as full acknowledgment washed clean over him.

She was pregnant.

With his child.


	42. Chapter 42

_The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want Ben Stein _

It all made perfect fucking sense now.

Why she had come to see him after all the time that had passed. Why she could barely look him in the eye…why she seemed stuck on the verge of saying something only to pause and relinquish at the ledge.

Standing planted in front of her, the revelation of the truth coursed through him, jarring, colliding with all of his reason.

The journey from shock to surprise twisted through his head like a jagged maze, never ending, never finding a place to subside.

A surge of primal recognition festered the longer his eyes stayed locked onto to her small protruded stomach and the more he did that the longer the feeling tarried, carrying him.

He thought nothing could knock him off balance more than the grueling months he had spent rejecting he was in love with her. He had trained his emotions against falling for such patent traps, but with Elizabeth there was no preparation resilient enough to stand against her.

Reality had ambushed him when he no longer could deny his feelings. Once he had touched her the floodgates had opened and as his unfurling glare cascaded down her body now, he realized they had never really closed.

He had been prepared his whole life for the unexpected and life never failed in providing the cruelest and sharpest left turns, but standing there, half mad with rage for her elongated concealment of the truth, the other half mad because he was so absorbed in elation his head felt like it was about to spin off his neck, he was stumped.

" Jason…" The question in her voice, the answer in her eyes, coaxed the push to cross the line his emotions tilted over. " Why are you looking at me like that?"

The hot quiver that ran down his spine had no source but the reactive jerk the stir of her husky words caused. The truth and the many facets that compacted it together were all right there in plain sight. How could he have been so blind?

He already knew the answer to that. He was trying so hard to _not_ feel her, in any way that would reverse the strong hold he had carefully walled over his heart; he didn't see what was practically on exhibit for him.

He moved to where she was, not feeling the steps he walked or the hand he held out to reach for her.

Blanched but resolute, Elizabeth didn't remove herself from the spot she had very much glued herself to, leaning into the counter as if she could sink into the wood furniture.

" Jason…"

Her eyes were an inquisitive midnight, speckled in trepidation, caught in him just as he was in her.

When he was close enough to kiss her he stopped and lifting a hand to the first button of her tan ugly sweater plucked at the smooth surface, keeping her entrapped by his prevailing stare.

Another surprise.

She didn't stop him.

The large round button slipped through his finger without struggle.

Her eyes closed with its release, a shudder rolling down the strained chords of her neck.

He fingered the next one, it slipped as easily as the first from its place.

Their breathing was the only life in the room, the intense beating of both their breaths fused together in riotous rebellion against the quiet tempo of silence.

His fingers were shaking now when he reached the third and final button. He swallowed, the small move tense, like his throat had closed up.

His stare, rocketed through her, hungered and wronged, seeking justice and truth without exception.

The fabric fell away, the small perfect roundness extending out like an offering; his stare shrouded into colorlessness under the primitive pleasure of discovery .

First with just the tips of his fingers he grazed the surface, a primal jolt carving its way in him. Then he stretched his whole palm and spanned her lower belly. His hand was so large he almost engulfed the small bump and Jason felt like someone had injected fire into his veins.

He couldn't feel anything but the hard softness of her stomach but in that moment the life inside her felt as real as if he were holding the baby in his arms.

His skin stretched on edge, his eyes absorbed hers for some sign of why.

Opening his mouth, hanging onto the only words that had been going through him for the past five minutes, he spoke, his descended voice indistinguishable. " You're pregnant?"

Her eyes closed, her lashes fluttering like a wounded butterfly caught in a thicket. " Yes." The single drop of moisture that came from her eye fell in a straight line, disappearing in the soft sweet indent of her mouth.

Her single worded admission spurred his locked mind from place and suddenly he had so many questions he didn't know where to start.

His thumb swished instinctively over her, not even realizing what he was doing. His other hand drew the messy loose tendrils of hair from her face then swept a soft caress under her eyes. He wanted her to look at him. He couldn't do this without her there.

She complied when his thumb traced under her eye, the fragile skin tattooed to his memory for life. The liquid emotion in her gaze was identical to the slow blistering invading him, senselessly cresting and falling like a quivering ripple of awareness.

Like every time he looked into her eyes and felt that throb of their connection.

" Why?" He said breathlessly, rushed, sounding slow to his stuffed ears. " Why didn't you tell me?"

She was motionless, so still she appeared almost like an inanimate object under his studied gaze. Her black lashes lifted and fell, bowing to him as her hesitance quickly became embarrassment. She nibbled her bottom lip, turning the flesh ripe red and met his gaze mournfully. " I wanted to Jason. I-I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this."

Her answer fell empty amidst his single-minded hunt. Her excuse didn't soothe him, it only emptied everything else inside him, every other unimportant situation and problem, to centralize his focus even stronger.

Reluctantly he let his hand drop from her stomach, already missing the power the touch soared brilliantly through him. " Were you ever…" He cleared his constricted throat, made himself talk without shaking. The hand that graced the first feel of his child wouldn't cooperate. " Were you ever going to tell me?"

She straightened, moving forward like she desperately wanted to make contact, reach him somehow if words were ineffective, but she didn't move, staring at Jason as if the experience pained her. " Yes." She admitted in despair. " That's why I came to you last night… to tell you."

There was no actual sign if he had heard her or not. He continued staring at her, struggling to detach himself, fighting the need to meld all emotions together and just think clearly.

Or…his eyes traveled with immeasurable slowness down to her naked parted mouth…he could obliterate all the confusion whirling for control and kiss her. The memory of her lips were almost as strong as the physical feel and his body unintentionally rocked forward, getting sucked into all of her when this was the least appropriate time to be weak.

He needed distance, space. Air was helpful but that always seemed in short supply when he was within two feet of her. Walking just a few feet away was a staggering fight, the pull between them a tangible link, especially now, knowing she was pregnant, knowing their child was tucked away someplace safe and warm inside her. He didn't think he could do it.

Jason made himself take a few steps back, the tug to go turn around to her almost overriding his good reason. He scratched the back of his head then rubbed the blur from his eyes.

" So what stopped you then?" he questioned, loathing the mile like distance in his voice.

It was so far from how attuned to his emotions he was, which was ironic because it contradicted everything he was.

All he could see, hear, taste, and sense was his heart which was unnerving and strange. He was man who formulated moves with his mind, worked off the instincts of his life and guarded street savvy.

He didn't think with his heart. He never did.

His hooded eyes settled on her luminous shape. Until her.

She was a first experience for him in every way.

Her hands at her sides lifted weakly. Her head shook but there was no way to tell what it meant. " I- I…I thought it best if you didn't know. I know this was the last thing you wanted."

He hated assumptions. People always assumed when it came to him. He didn't know what he had ever done to earn that particular reaction but out of everyone he knew the last person he expected to make a decision for him was Elizabeth.

Whether she realized it or not, she knew him better than anyone. Past. Present. And future. No one had ever been let into the dark lifeless black hole his soul had resided in. Before her his heart and all the emotions connected to love were like a vacant room, one with the lights shut off, unattended and ignored, never given the proper care needed for nurture and growth.

But she had seen his heart somehow through all the protective build up and jaded infestation he let himself almost choke on daily. She saw beyond that, caring with a tenderness that made his eyes close and his blood dilate.

" I didn't want to bother you." When his stare squinted on reflex, she stammered forward, " I know you're happy Jason and I didn't want to come between you and all you're dreams."

" That's no excuse." His velvet voice rippled out.

That sparked some life to her dulled pinned down state. " You didn't want this Jason! How many times did you tell me you never wanted a kid. A family! What was I supposed to think?"

Anger stampeded in the back of his mind but he held off. " How about the truth? I could have helped you. You didn't have to go through this alone." He realized he was inching closer and he stopped. " What the hell were you thinking?"

" I was trying to do right by you and this baby!" She shouted in defense, her features taut under his gratuitous criticism. " Do you how many times I thought about coming to you? But all I kept hearing in my head was how much you wanted to be free, how you never liked the idea of a family. Jason, I thought this was what you wanted."

" And what about our baby?" His vivid words sprang over her small voice. " What about what he or she wanted?"

" Our baby needed you…will always need you." She gulped down the quake of tears in her voice. " I realized that no matter what…you needed to be a part of this life, but when I saw you with…" Her words faded into the thick tensed atmosphere.

" Look at me."

When the struggle to oblige him took longer than his patience could handle he removed the small distance between them, consciously keeping from touching her in any way that would distract him.

" Elizabeth."

She sniffled miserably, her soggy eyes, drenched, depleting his willpower in short strokes. She peered up, ready to hear him, prepared for the hurt her poor battled heart always seemed to suffer.

He curled his fingers into his palm for safe keeping. He couldn't trust himself around her. His reactions were always out of his mouth or running like live currents under his skin when next to her. " There's nothing going on between me and that woman." He waited a beat, waited for the lighting relief in her eyes. " There never was."

She stayed the same, nodding at him as if he had just told her his prediction for the weather. She swiped a hand over her belly as she replied in an even tone. " It's none of my business...either way."

Focused on drawing her out, he countered gravely, " I'm telling you the truth, Elizabeth."

" I believe you. I'm just saying even if there was….it's not my business." She declared without vigor. " I may be pregnant with your child Jason, but that doesn't change anything. You can still want what you want and do what you have to do…now you know the truth but that doesn't mean you have to turn your life upside for me."

His eyes widened, first disbelieving than in pounding frustration. He wondered if there would ever be a day when both of them were on the same page emotionally.

" You should know by now Elizabeth. No one forces me to do something I don't want to." He murmured sincerely, holding onto his temperance with little stability. " I wanna help."

" I don't need your help." She replied crisply, rebuttoning her sweater in short sharp movements. " Everything is fine…and now that you know you can choose whether you want to be a part of this child's life or not. It's up to you." She ended, distinctly and professionally like she had rehearsed the words in her head hundreds of times before.

" That's what you think." He rumbled, nonnegotiable, shifting his weight from one foot to another, restless. " That's not going to happen, Elizabeth. You can just get that out of your head right now."

He saw the urge in her to shy away, but her obstinance governed above her usual timidity which two months ago would have sent her running into the other room.

" I've already made up my mind. I'm settled. I have a place to live and I can support myself…I'm glad you know. I really am, but that doesn't change anything-"

" Yes it does." He tossed back, unflinching. " It changes everything."

" No. Not to me it doesn't." She supplied frostily.

" We'll, I'm sorry, Elizabeth," He threw out, wrestling with the slippery grasp of his control. " You're going to have to come to terms with the fact that I am going to be there for you and this child. For starters, you're not staying in that apartment." He stepped closer. " That's unacceptable."

She didn't blink, regarding him with the prowess of a queen observing a lower subject. Her chin came up. " Too damn bad."

He snickered dryly, his blue orbs landing on her in challenge, a guaranteed stamped in his stare. She was not going to win this." Don't fight me on this Elizabeth." His voice traveled on an edge only a man who had withstood hours of torture could endure. " I need to keep you and the baby safe."

" We're fine." She shrugged on cue.

She was good.

That was an understatement.

Elizabeth was great and maybe if he hadn't personally handled her on such an intimate level he might have missed the blaring road flare and swallowed what she was trying so hard to sell.

She was okay. She was getting by. That much he knew she wasn't lying about, but she was miserable and with every lie that poured from her mouth the more aggravated he became. He thought they had gotten past all this.

He was wrong; those walls had erected in record time when he had crushed her with his lie.

His glare smoldered, dark and hot like a single candle in a dark room." No you're not." He countered in an inarguable manner. " Not in this neighborhood."

He didn't know what he said to evoke the reaction, but a part of her reserve broke off, floating away along with the sturdy mask covering her true feelings.

Slapping the sides of her thighs, she moved in front of him. " I won't be your responsibility!" She confronted with an intensity that flamed between them. " I won't." Her head shook as her shoulder's rolled back defiantly.

Impressed, he would have been in awe of her if he could get past the acute pain elbowing to the forefront. She was still in love with him and the last thing she wanted to be was his obligation, but what was going on was bigger than the both of them and nothing was going to detour him from supporting and protecting her and their baby.

The distance between them diminished, but it went unnoticed to both of them. They were wrapped up so securely in their own separate goals for supremacy.

" And what about Anthony Marcone?" He pulled the question from out of thin air, knowing the answer would imbalance her.

Fresh fear sparked in her eyes, but she backtracked imperceptibly. He, fortunately, caught her slight shift. " What about him?" She questioned in a cutting tone that proved he was getting to her.

He tilted his head to the side; trying to catch her stare was like trying to catch a floating piece of dust with tweezers.

His hands flew from his sides at her casualness. " We're you ever going to tell me that he approached you?"

Clearly shoved off course, Elizabeth paled, licking her bottom lip before biting down on the plump flesh. " He told you?"

" Yes." He explained gently, not liking the ashen shade of her complexion, but he sat on the springing urge.

She drove a hand through her hair, looking helpless and lost and acutely tattered in strength like she had been sucked dry with each word. " I'm sorry…" she wobbled out, " I wasn't thinking and after seeing you with…I was stupid…I didn't mean to tell him…"

His hand came up and brushed back the hair she had missed. " Why did you?" His exploration tenderly slipped from his mouth.

" I don't know. I just needed to…" Moisture bubbled in her eyes, but didn't fall. " I hadn't told anyone, not even my parents and in that moment…I wanted someone else to know…I wanted to say it, hear it…and it all to become real…I was sure I had made it up in my head." She chuckled huskily, swishing a hand up and down her arm.

The pull was so much greater when he wasn't ready, magnifying the need to comfort her, going through him in hot pursuit, clawing. " I know." His gaze hovered, skipping from her face, down, landing low. " It didn't feel real until I touched you."

" I'm sorry." She immediately explained shakily. " About Mr. Marcone."

She had such a soft presence. So motherly and delicate.

Jason's gaze wandered. She was only eighteen and yet she appeared readied and more mature then most women his age. " It's okay." His thoughts spouted out, transforming darkly and swirling in the air around. " You've had a lot on your plate."

She brushed off the comment, jittery and overwhelmed. He couldn't blame her. " Now, can you understand why its better you just stay away." She said, bone- tired. " He told me to make a decision and I think if you really think about its better-"

He paused." Wait. Stop." His brow slanted in confusion, hoping he had missed a patch of the conversation when he had become distracted with his thoughts of this baby and their future. He hoped, but somehow knew he was wrong.

" What are you talking about?" He tentatively inquired. " Make what decision?"

When Elizabeth realized he had no idea what she was talking about, she made a hasty decision quickly, fingering the pros and cons of lying to him. Jason always could tell when she was lying and there would only be more damage later if she did. She didn't want anymore secrets between them. Not when they had this baby to think about.

" Elizabeth." He growled.

Seeing the tension creep into shoulders, rage bask through his body like an ancient anger come to life, she slowly confessed, " He visited me today."

" What." He seethed, sounding deceptively serene even to his own ears, which frightened him because the last thing he was feeling was anything tranquil. His jaw hardened, a white line of pressure straining against the flesh there. " Why didn't you tell me?" he quietly demanded.

" I thought it was best if I just stayed away." She was clutching the front ends of her sweater, balling up the fabric, committed to her unruffled façade." Jason…I wasn't sure you wanted to hear from me again…"

" That's it." He interrupted, his gaze swinging from the locked door to her like there might be a surprise attack at any second. " Get your things."

Stumbling a step back at his lightening fast unpredictability, Elizabeth stammered, " What? Why?"

" You're coming with me." He plainly stated, his hand outstretched.

Her head shook fervently, her body mimicking the move drastically. " Jason, I already told you. I'm not-"

Instead of anger, something she projected, was equipped to handle, Jason just stared her. All she saw was his truth, naked, at its rawest peak. " Elizabeth." He mumbled, his tone adjusting low, a velvety quality as deep as a cannon. " I need you to trust me right now."

She could manage his temper. She wasn't afraid of his volatile nature as much as the fact that she didn't trust herself around him." Jason."

He had drifted closer and she realized there was no breathing room. " Please." His palm was laid out, a shadow over their baby.

Love was a funny thing. He had hurt her more than any person could. Loving him should have made her run, hide, never falter from where she was now. But loving someone always ran against your protective defenses …because when you loved someone what they wanted and needed was your happiness. And even after everything else, she trusted him more than anyone. That much she could depend on. No matter what.

His eyes were dark, dimmed, on the precipice of awaiting her usual refusal. She sighed tearily, " Okay." Her hand was still in a moderate state of a shiver when he finished her reluctant move and linked their fingers together.

He looked down at their joined hands. His smile was small but brighter than any star she had ever gazed at. " Let's go."

* * *

The silence was starting to get to her.

She thought fighting frazzled her tweaking nerves, but the silence was so much worse.

They hadn't spoken in the twenty minute car ride over and somewhere along the way she had become drowsy, not even conscious of the fact that her need for sleep was riding over the imperative situation.

Elizabeth didn't remember falling asleep, but she must have because one second her lids were bobbing, dashes of the city clipping her vision, the next she was tucked deep in the crook of Jason's neck, being carried over the threshold of his apartment and gently laid like a child during a nap on his very lavish suede couch.

After waking up to such awkwardness…mainly because it felt so right being in his arms… Elizabeth didn't have to struggle to stay awake.

She couldn't sit still. She was cranked, high on the tension of the circumstances and praying to whatever god was available that she would maintain to abide by the decision she had made for her and her baby.

She didn't want to deny Jason any part of what it meant to be a father. This child was as much his as it was hers, but being a father didn't mean taking over her life too.

What frightened her most, abducted her senses blind, was the temptation to give in to him. She had never dreamed of a life with him. Her dreams of him had always had a temporariness to them.

Because that was them.

None of what she felt or what he wanted from her was planned, least of all this very permanent child.

When they had made love, she was too enraptured by the addictive thrill running rampant through her. His presence was an overpowering thing to manage for any mortal and since she tipped heavily on the side of naïve, responsibility in remembering a condom wasn't even a first or second thought.

She didn't know what Jason's excuse was and she particularly didn't care for him to share. She doubted very much it was his desire that swayed his thinking.

Sitting on the ridiculously comfortable couch, her butt sinking in the middle like she was falling into quicksand, Elizabeth had to keep from fiddling. She knew she was in shambles, hair messed beyond repair, shirt probably crooked, pants wrinkled, but she wasn't really focused on any one thing but not remaining here for more the a few minutes.

Waking up his arms had disturbed her. When her eyes had fluttered opened, her nose grazing the sensitive baby soft surface of exposed neck, she was positive she had awoken to one of her very vivid daydreams. She waited in a standstill to hear Armen make a silly joke or her mother's impertinent voice to flippantly scold her for such childish behavior.

Anything to wake her from this torturous game her head was playing with her.

She smelled his skin too. The soap, the leather, the subtle hint of cologne, and still she was sure this was a dream only a delusional masochist like herself would have.

But the longer the dream dragged out, the fuzziness of sleep dissolving away like a sheet of rain washing down a window, the stark undeniable truth was she was _very _awake, in his arms and being carried into some room she had never seen before.

He didn't say anything as he carefully laid her down. He laid a blanket on her and left before she could get her sputtering functions to at least moderately take charge.

The room was dark and big. She couldn't tell much else. There was no light expect for a small hallway beam coming from behind the couch.

Besides for the couch, the rest of what she gathered was Jason's penthouse reminded her grimly of his newly owned club. Decorated to the hilt, the place was covered from head to toe with fixtures, embellished with mirrors, paintings and fragile glassware.

She got up, walking slow like she was standing in line on some tour of a museum.

Elizabeth wasn't exactly a fashion guru, but the living space reeked of extravagant waste.

This wasn't Jason.

Her eyes drifted to the small corner of the room, a small bookshelf stuffed to the brim. The piece of furniture was plain and unnoticeable, easily overlooked. Kinda like her.

She didn't fit into Jason's life. She never did.

His life was a minute by minute, touch and go life. He lived for suspense, sought out the unforeseen and went in head on.

Her retiring stare scanned the walls up and down, circling the overbearing environment and feeling more defeated then ever.

Why did he bring her here?

She knew he was well off, that he had the job he wanted and everything he had worked his ass off for. He didn't have to rub the facts in her face.

She caught sight of the door to her far off right.

She didn't know where he had gone, but she knew staying here wasn't an option.

" You okay?"

Wherever he was it was near, jolting her skin up in a severe jump.

She really hated when he did that. " I'm fine." She lied, her voice wearing thin. She faced him, her gaze falling on the door before she met his eyes.

" Nice place." She let her sarcasm seep through, too tired to censor herself. She was sure he felt the same and even if he didn't, politeness held no influence when exhaustion hounded a person.

" It's just a place." He shrugged, coming next to her, but keeping a practical safe distance.

" Nothing else."

" You don't like it." She could tell, even in the darkness, his bare glower was probing her, seeking relief, a sign of any kind.

He shrugged again, this time heavier in thought, thoughts that didn't involve the décor of his god awful residence. " I don't care really. A place is a place."

The rough texture of his admission made her remembrance grip for attention. She cleared the residue his satiny words always left on her like an erotic vibration coating her senses.

" Don't you want a home? I mean… a place you could always go to no matter what because you knew you were safe and no one…" Her words disintegrated when she realized where she was headed, but she made herself finish, "… no one can hurt you."

The timber of voice deepened, asking in a curious achy tone. " Like the attic, your hiding place. That's what that was for you. Wasn't it?"

Her emotions rolled on her, in complete anarchy to her intentions.

A sensation, one she recognized greatly, spiraled down the center of her, the awareness enlivening and resurrecting the two months her insides spent dormant, like a tomb.

She wouldn't give in now. Not when it would be so easy. " Yeah," she replied lightly, smiling just to alleviate the thickness in the air.

Jason didn't smile back.

" We should talk." He murmured under his breath.

" Tomorrow, Jason." She steered obligingly, her eyes skittering past him. If she tried to leave he'd stop her. She was running low on alternatives here. Confrontation in the a.m. was not the best way to approach the very difficult, multiple hours of conversation that awaited them. " I need some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow. I promise."

She was surprised when he nodded, the soft gesture of a smile solely in his stare. He tipped his head to the large staircase in back of her. One she hadn't even noticed in the encumbering darkness.

" Okay. Upstairs to the right…I have some t-shirts-"

" I'm not staying here." She interrupted, eyeing him like he just lost whatever little common sense he possessed. " Jason, I have my own place…I've been living there for months. Its fine and I promise to be safe, okay. If something happens, I'll call you."

The glare he fixed on her was faraway and deserted, like he was being forced to do something he didn't want to. He voiced his opinion with in an informative secluded manner. " Elizabeth, you're staying here. End of story."

" End of story?" She incredulously bristled, her eyes audaciously flaring up at him. " When the hell did you become god." Her hands came up to grip her hips, her anger igniting from the archaic spark Jason always shot off when he started listing down the rules. " I don't take orders from you. It's not going to work that way…ever. I want you part of our baby's life, but you do not control me. Understand?"

Taking a directive stance in front of her, his disquiet glare sounded off in the room, falling on her shoulders to rivulet down in tiny startling pricks and puncture her for an all too long moment. Jason waited; waited with a calm that squeezed the anxious knots in her stomach tighter.

With a sweep of his tongue he licked his lips, scraping the bottom lip with his front teeth. His head empathetically leaned in to capture her gaze that was already fixed on him, but he looked like he was searching for more. More of something she couldn't give him. " Did Anthony Marcone threaten you?" The rasp contour of his tone shifted that something inside her.

" I-I..not really-"

" Not really?" The infiniteness of his tender words was graphically numbing her. " Either he did or he didn't, Elizabeth. You can tell me."

She made her feet stumble a few feet away, jerking her defenses back into their proper place. He didn't seem to notice, watching with a contented wonder.

" I don't know. I was so scared I wasn't really paying attention to every word he was saying." She heard the words come out but she wasn't quite sure what she had said. She couldn't really hear anything over the deafening roar of her conscious effort to not bend under the intrinsic gravity he orchestrated.

He drew closer, undiscouraged by her fight. " You need to stop."

" Stop what?" She squeaked in revolt. " I can't help it if I don't remember the conversation verbatim."

Undaunted, he said steadily, his eyes traveling over her face with exquisite dedication. " You need to stop trying to protect yourself from me."

" I have good reason." Her knee jerk reaction splurged from her mouth before she could filter herself. Feeling explicitly exposed, her mind blank, she remained standing, sandwiched between him and her offset emotions.

Instead of the hurt or defiance she predicted, he shook his head, regarding her softly." I know you do. I know you hate me," He admitted in a throaty voice, " But right now I need you to tell me what happened. All of it. Okay?"

This was worse. This was so much worse than she could imagine. What happened to the mad man practically roaming at the mouth at the bookstore. He was gone and with him was taken the last of her good fight.

Exteriorly she remained unaffected, trying to mentally preserve the mental barrier she had put up. She sat on the edge of the couch, wanting distance, wanting so so much of what she couldn't have.

She peered up at him, his stare had dedicatedly followed hers. " Okay." She shook her head, her voice small and stripped. She eyed him again." And I don't hate you. I never could."

" Thank you."

The reverence in his return was harsh to her insides. Her eyes incandescently sparkled up at him. " For what?"

He looked like he was memorizing her. " Nothing." He said slowly, shaking his head and sitting down next to her. " Tell me."

" Okay, " she breathed out, cradling her hands in her lap, "Um, well, …he came into the store and he asked me how I was. Then he said something along the lines of making a decision of whether I wanted to be with you or not…he told me to either stay away from you or to be with you…"

" Anything else?"

The taut croak of his question almost made her hesitate to continue. She didn't want to upset him. He had a lot on his plate right now, but she couldn't lie to him. She knew now what lies did to a person and how it not only hurt them but mangled the ones they loved irreversibly.

" Yeah…he said you weren't doing your job right and he thinks it's because of me. I know its stupid, but that's what he assumes. He said if I didn't make up mind he was going to make it up for me."

After a few seconds of no response she gambled a glance from the corner of her eye. He was stationary, rigid like he had become part of the furniture, but she could see the anger stewing through him, it was almost sizzling off his skin. " Jason, I'm sorry." She scooted closer. " I never should have come to see you."

Her voice seemed to wake him from his dark trance. He faced her, his eyes illuminating for only a second at her nearness; her words finally settling past his murderous fog. " I'm glad you did." He admitted raw, unsure.

The beats of her heart picked up in her chest. " You are?"

There was no smile on his face, in fact he seemed rather somber and concentrated. When he spoke though there was a subtle glow to his complexion, a drizzling lull in the release of his hoarse voice. " Yea." His gaze darted down to her mouth, then her eyes, baiting her in with each pull of his intensity. " I missed you."

The words hung in the air, dangling before them, holding its own life force.

She cleared her throat, dismissed the tears from her eyes and made herself break away from the captivating lure he induced so easily. " You don't have to say that." She stammered, fisting her hands over her knees. " I mean I know this baby changes things, but you…I mean…this is complicated."

" We'll figure it out. Together."" He soothingly assured with a confidence that had her shaking her head in agreement without her foreknowledge.

" Right, together." She skipped over the phrase nonchalantly, straightening from her slanted position and surveying the grotesquely shaped frame on the end table." So, what do we do next?"

He let her swerve, eliminating the very heavy air that had just gathered between their bodies. He let her and she wasn't sure why but she was beyond grateful.

" Anthony Marcone has been in this business longer than I've been alive." He started, reluctant to divulge any information to her. He didn't want any part of his life tainting her. He had sworn to himself up and down that he wouldn't let it, and yet here he sat committing the one thing he had vowed not to do.

But life had left him without choice. " If I eliminated him, the rest of the organization would be out for blood….I can't. He's a reasonable man, but he doesn't like disorder of any kind…personal or not."

" So I've ruined everything." She whispered despondently.

" No. You haven't." His eyes were on her again, but she didn't reciprocate the move." It's been this way for a while."

" Oh."

" Above all he's a family man. He lives for his family and he likes taking in people who he knows will be loyal and honorable. If we…"

The delaying fade made her twist to meet his face. He was uncertain, hazed, something she would never recognize in him if she hadn't been sitting there witnessing it. The uncomfortable thought made her conclude something was far off. " What?"

His jaw clenched. " You're not going to like it."

" That much I figured out."

He stood, shoving an aggressive hand through his hair. He looked as reckless and striking as the day when she had first laid eyes on him. " While you resting all I could do was think about this. We don't have many options here. But…"

" But what?" She asked, slowly, stuck to the cushion of her seat. " Say it."

He didn't look at her. There was so much sifting through him, she couldn't tell whether he was afraid or angry. She had no idea what he was going to say, but the last words she expected to hear slip between his closed off mouth were-

" You have to marry me."

She blinked, turning cold and hot inside. " Marry you?" She quivered from the pressure that built up only to implode in her head.

" Yea." He said almost mutely, still not looking at her. " I know it's not the ideal solution, but it's the only logical-"

" Stop." The words rushed out frantically as she shot up and away from the couch. He looked pained and lost now, but all she could hear and feel was the word marry dropping down on her like a house. Over and over.

This was her worst nightmare come to life. " You better think of another way," she limply warned, her body coiled together as she backed away from where he was beginning to approach. " Because I can't. I'm sorry but I can't…I won't marry you, Jason."

He watched her jump towards to the opposite side of the room and for a second he thought she was going to leave, but she didn't and for that he was at least relieved. She flew up the stairs, shoddily muffling her cries.

He felt the residual affects of her tears as his chest closed off, suctioning the life out of him. The empty room mocked him, whispering what a weak fool he was, but there was no going back now. She had vanished into the darkness, disappearing from him very much like the wake of hope inside him.

She needed him and he needed to keep her and their baby safe; even if the price was at the cost of his own heart.


	43. Chapter 43

_One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter James Earl Jones_.

He understood now.

The sleepless hours, the momentous thoughts that refused to stop hounding him, the constant circle his mind had been dragged around, never finding an answer. He got it.

God was punishing him.

For all the lives he had taken, all the families he had broken apart with death and despair. Jason was being thoroughly recompensed for the life he had chosen by loving a woman he couldn't have and watching her live a life he wanted so desperately to be part of.

Jason knew he was powerless to do anything but to accept the retribution he so deeply deserved.

He wasn't a noble man, but even in his grim line of work he had a moral code he followed loyally. He honored that living and never stepped a foot out of line for anyone.

Seated in his private office now, in a black shirt and faded blue jeans, staring out at the afternoon clear skies, Jason's long sigh was weighted down by his dilemma.

The code he had lived his whole life by was now a waste.

It didn't matter how careful he was or that he taken every precaution necessary to stay alive, keep on top of things, and above all remain detached from the ugly side of the business.

Elizabeth had turned his world upside down when she accidentally stumbled into his life. She didn't have the slightest inkling of how much havoc she had wreaked on him, so unaware of the power she held.

This whole situation would be so much easier if he didn't love her, if the pull to want her wasn't so earth shatteringly magnificent. But that wasn't the case. Her love had changed him and after finally surrendering following months of fighting himself, he didn't want to let go.

Love was stronger then he thought possible. He always thought of the emotion as weak, an enabling feeling. Love blinded a person from reality, the obvious pitfalls that any level headed individual would normally detect right away.

He never needed the extra baggage love involuntarily heaped on and he had always measured anyone who did as weak and unimaginative. His way of thinking was if a person couldn't be happy with themselves and needed another person to make that aspiration a fulfillment, they weren't much of a person to begin with.

He was wrong. The knowledge cut through him like a newly sharpened blade.

Loving her didn't feel weak. It felt right and good. The reality of his love only scared him because he hadn't realized he _wasn'_t happy until he knew he couldn't have her. When it was too late to do something about it.

He had always done what he wanted, when he wanted and no one ever refused him. He had confirmed to himself years ago that living his life the way he wanted was happiness and as long as it filled in all the gaps his horrible childhood had turned hollow, he was content.

He was wrong about that too. He never understood that just seeing someone smile or laugh, taking in their adorable flush could brighten someone up. He didn't know and yet his whole life's happiness had somehow become wrapped up in all those little things.

Stretching his legs out, Jason stood, peering outside the window. The busy streets buzzed, the rustle of horns and life pierced through his office, but he didn't see any of what lay before him like a vivid canvas of color. All of him heard his thoughts and felt the command of his heart.

He loved her and he was getting goddamn tired of hiding it. His instinctive reaction last night by touching her the way he did should have clued her in. Couldn't she see what was right in front of her face?

He had just found out she was pregnant and what was his first response? To make love to her. He ached for it, the pain of holding back was gripping and tremendous. He wanted to be inside her, feel their bodies joined together with the life they had created blooming in her.

God, he would have taken her on the counter, shredded both their clothes and finally acted on some of the fantasies that had been silently infusing him for last two months if he didn't have an ounce of self control.

But her defensives were so high, she was not mindful to the plain truth sitting like a big fat elephant in the room with them.

Jason wasn't even trying to disguise his true feelings. In a way, he just wanted to tell her how in love with her he was. Things would be lot simpler and maybe they could talk without so much tension shooting off like a missile between them.

Part of him was scared though.

Telling her meant making them both vulnerable to their feelings and both exposed to what his enemies could do if they found out they were together.

On the flip side, he wasn't sure if she still cared for him as he did. His love for her hadn't diminished in the slightest. On the contrary, it had grown intensely stronger with each passing day. And now, knowing she was pregnant, for some odd reason, made him want her with a potency that shackled him to her permanently.

If let his emotions take full control he'd run home and make love to her, never let them leave bed and make up all week for the last two months they had missed apart.

His eyes closed shut. He wanted to so bad. Just remembering how gorgeous she looked when she came, how addicting the sight of her under him was, her glistening alabaster body shuddering and writhing as he sank into her made him harder them granite.

She was having his child.

Pregnant with his baby…the one girl he had ever loved and couldn't have.

God must have taken his time to fashion this personal torture chamber for him.

He had to marry her, had to have her with him because it would keep her safe, keep the baby protected, but all in name only. He couldn't love her the way he wanted or she deserved. She didn't want that and he didn't want to complicate her life more. Or did he?

This whole thing was a fucking complicated mess with no simple answer.

Living with her but not being able to love her, taking care of her but not being able to fully devote to her the way she needed, how could he do that? He wasn't a fucking robot, no matter what anyone said.

But if he wanted to keep her safe he had to remain disconnected and sharp; two things that had escaped him since last night.

There had to be another way. There had to be.

The shrill of his phone woke him, the harsh sound ringing off in his head like a fire horn, breaking the pensive silence down the middle of the room like a blow of thunder.

Purposefully, he let the phone go on ringing several more times before moving to pick up the blasted nuisance. He didn't want to hear from anyone and his mood was too foul to play nice with any unprepared human being.

But, as always, he had no choice.

He walked over, unhurried, trying to gather his hazy wits without unleashing the headache that sat buried beneath the pile of muck in his head.

The tips of his fingers worked the knots of tension in the sides of his forehead with a gentle roll. He really didn't think anything would work unless given the option to go home and check on Elizabeth, make sure she was still there and okay; which was what he was planning to do once this conversation was over.

Not looking, his hand reached for the phone and easily found the black cordless contraption face down in the middle of his desk.

He pressed talk and held it to his ear as he leaned into his black leather desk chair. " Yeah?"

" Jason. How are you today?"

The voice on the other end reeked in sincerity, causing Jason to pause and release the hold on his forehead. His headache was suddenly forgotten. " Jason?...are you there? I'm a very busy man. Did you think about the situation with your girlfriend?"

The slight infraction from Anthony's customary warmth spurred Jason's speech. He saw Elizabeth, his face went scorching red and he realized he didn't own enough fire arms to alleviate the amount of anger he was suffering in this particular moment in time.

" Elizabeth Webber." He tried to compress his growl. " Yes."

There was a small chuckle before Mr. Marcone replied, " I guess you've been thinking about what we talked about then."

The man had the indecent nerve to be pleased with the subject in discussion. Like this was not a real life, just some object or merchandise up for negotiation.

Leaning further back in his chair Jason did a mediocre job at feigning his impartiality regarding this particular subject and answered lowly. " I have and I was made aware that you came to see her yesterday."

" Oh, she told you." Anthony exclaimed, his voice leaping at what he believed was great news. " Good. I was hoping for that. You both need to work your problems out. Communication is the key to every successful relationship."

Anthony Marcone couldn't have been more merry if Jason had just informed him he was the new sweepstakes winner. His delighted surprise sputtered through Jason's mind, twisting through his system like a slow fever. He cleared his throat and attempted a civil tone. " I thought I made it clear that she wasn't a part of my business."

" She is if you care for her Jason." Anthony assured brazenly. " I was trying to make you see that."

" I don't want you approaching her again." Jason overlapped in a terse manner that would have made a normal clear-headed person think twice before continuing. " She's not your concern."

" But she is yours."

Jason straightened, curling his fingers around the edge of the desk." What do you want, Mr. Marcone?"

" I want my business partner back. Fully." He accented with a snap that revealed a dollop of his disdain. " We just opened up our new establishment and here you are worried about a girl. You need to make up your mind...let her go, stay, whatever…just do it." When the break of silence in the conversation lasted longer than was politely necessary, Anthony breathed out, back to his wise elderly bravado. " Did you talk to her?"

There was no mistaking the heave in impatience when Jason finally decided to answer. " Yes."

" How did that go?"

Jason shook his head, hating that he had to do this. He bit down, felt the pain fire into his gums before he stiffly let out his reply. " It was informative."

" Ah, so she told you she was pregnant?" There was a smile in his voice. Jason didn't have to be in front of the man to see the indulging beams from across town.

" Yes." His voice was lower than a whisper.

" Good."

His rejoice in Jason's situation was inappropriate bordering on invasive. " I'm warning you, Anthony, keep your distance with her." He rumbled, standing up and pacing the floor like an enslaved jungle cat leaping in protective fury. " I don't care how long you did business with Sonny…I wont be as hesitant to retaliate if you step out of line. I'm not a nostalgic person."

" I know you're not." Anthony agreed easily, falling in stride with Jason's standardized blunt intimidation. " That's why I didn't go to war with you when you overthrew him and took over. Sonny was a good man, but he was too emotional. He let things get to him too easily. He could have been greater if he wasn't so imbalanced." He pondered thoughtfully. " You run that same risk now."

"How?"

This time when he laughed, Anthony at least had the decorum to sound humble, lost in his own world of the past. " Love makes you weak Jason. All over. I love my wife, but not enough to distract me from what I have to do."

" I'm sure your mistresses would agree." Jason commented dryly, closing his eyes as contemplation bombarded him from every angle.

" You are too consumed with this girl." He stated matter of facet. " Its going to break you. In this business there's no other way out. Let her go."

Jason froze. It was as if Anthony had just read his mind. " No."

" Jason, you are being foolish." Anthony's tone resonated in disappointment. " She is a way to get to you. Don't you see that?"

" She's having my child." Jason snapped without regard.

There was another long hefty session of silence. " I thought you weren't a sentimental man."

" I'm not."

Jason could practically hear the gears in Anthony's head screech from overwork. " Unless you're in love with her. Are you?" He asked innocently, with a catch meant to draw him out. " Are you Jason?"

Denying the truth now would be redundant. Anthony wouldn't believe him and this was a minor detail with the men he rubbed elbows with. The fact was she was connected to him, whether love was involved or not was Jason's own personal flaw.

He swiped a hand through his unbrushed hair, then over his chest, despising the cornered sensation he seemed to be in a perpetual state of. He licked his lips, released a bottled up breath like the one word held his future.

"Yes." He murmured. " I love her."

It was the first time he had said the words out loud.

" Then let her go." Anthony advised, passionately. " There is no other way out of this if you love her."

Shaking his head Jason refused to feel the violent tremble that invaded him. " I cant." He explained destroyed and desperate.

" Jason, if you make her your own, marry her, try to have a life, you will always wonder when someone like you will come along and snatch it away." His voice sounded closer, melding into the voice in Jason's mind, grafting together to overpower the little restraint he had. " The other families are already disturbed by your lack of emotional investment in this. They see it everyday. I survived, but I've lost too. How many people in this business do we know who have families? It doesn't work that way."

"If I marry her at least she'll be protected. I can keep her safe." He grumbled low, like the aftershock of an earthquake.

" How?" Anthony nudged, unremitting. " For how long?"

" I don't know," He shouted, cracking the polite reserve for good. "But I will do everything in my power to make sure she doesn't get hurt!"

" And what if you die. You leave her and your child to your enemies."

Jason smacked the glass of his window, whipping around when his anger pounced on him like a surprise attack. " I thought that you wanted me to marry her." His nostrils flared and his features balled together. " That the rest of the men would take it as a good sign…I'm settling down, whatever."

He couldn't see straight, he couldn't think properly. Jason was functioning on the lowest level possible and all he was encountering was hot and brilliant rage. Fuck everyone and what they thought.

" Marrying her solves your problem temporarily. You're in this limbo state with her and its making you indecisive and sloppy, but if you marry her, tell her you love her and attempt to be happy, you're also leaving the door wide open for other risks. That's all I'm saying." His diplomatic response only fell on Jason's doorstep as audacious and incredibly meddlesome.

What angered him beyond reason was the fact that everything the man was saying was right. He was stuck and any way he turned he was putting Elizabeth in danger. There was no way out.

His lungs shut down, cramping for oxygen, but the search was fruitless. Nothing could take this pain away. " You think I should let her go?" he mumbled, deadened.

Anthony paused under the question, breathing in the air Jason wouldn't let himself take. " I think if you love her as much as you say you do," He started slow, "…as much as I think you do…you'd do what's best for her and this child."

" I already did that once." He shifted his weight to his other foot, feeling reckless, ready to tear at something. " It didn't work."

" Didn't work or you didn't want it to?"

Jason's head hung, he nodded, remembering and trying to forget her all at the same time. " I stayed away…" His eyes closed and he instantly found her image waiting for him. Brilliant, overwhelming him. "Somehow we always end up finding a way back to each other."

" Then you need to sever all ties for good. Send her away where her name can never be traced to yours. Ever."

" I don't think I can do that." Just hearing him suggest such an impossible task made Jason's stomach lurch in nausea.

" You can. And you will." He advised coolly, like a shrink giving his professional opinion. " If you care for her as much as you say you do."

* * *

She was being sneaky.

Embarrassed at picturing the ridiculous sight she must make all rumpled and lethargic, Elizabeth flushed the color of a stop sign and thanked god Jason wasn't home.

She concluded this fact confidently and gratefully with a big intake of air.

He couldn't be home because if he was the man would be standing over her in two seconds flat after hearing her bare feet squeak down the steps. He'd plaster her with one of his forbidding scowls and she'd melt into a puddle, fumbling for an explanation that would never make it past the door of her mouth.

Jason had that same affect with the handful of people she had seen him interact with. Mainly she guessed the antisocial vibe he gave off had something to do with it. She was still not immuned, her body still needed a good five minutes to adjust to his presence when he entered a room.

With her black flats in her hands, dangling at the tips of her fingers, heaved over her shoulder carelessly, she surveyed the large museum like living room again. The daylight amplified the gaudy aura, painfully overbearing for someone who had just awoken without a warning of any kind.

Her eyes voyaged around, hating the sight more than she could imagine. Jason was Jason and this place didn't mirror who he was in any way, shape, or form; which perturbed her. Jason never did or said something he didn't want to. He wasn't a person who could be forced into submission. She didn't think even a bullet could stop him when his single-minded focus found a goal to accomplish.

She settled her gaze on the small bookcase from last night. The wood furnish was chipped, the surface aged like the piece of furniture had seen better days. The personal collection of books itself appeared old and well used and she wondered if maybe that was the last remnant of whom Jason used to be. Maybe some part of him was tucked far away into a corner as well.

At first, she had jumped to the conclusion that he was happy, but when she really stared and made herself look at him, he didn't seem so blissful. There was a shadow, a void, that followed him, shaded out the joy he was supposed to be basking in. Especially now that he was at the pinnacle of his success.

Or it could be she was just seeing what she wanted to. Maybe the image was merely an emulation of herself. Because she was unhappy, because she missed him till she thought the ache inside her would make a hole in her gut. Because without him all the success and happiness she longed for was meaningless if he wasn't there to share it with.

She sighed, humiliated by her own pathetic grasp for some hope.

Hope was one thing and the fleeting emotion never ran in the same company as realism.

Unfortunately.

She turned, facing the polished wood door, so shiny she could almost make out her momentary state of complete disarray. From the little she could gather, her hair resembled a very large uprooted bush that needed major hedging, her skin was paler than death and her current state of wear was almost falling off.

She remembered the clothes had fit when she had bought them.

She zipped through her list of things to do. She didn't have time to grab for food, maybe a quick tea stop and she'd buy a cup of mixed fruit on her break. Sad thing she wasn't even hungry. Just thinking about getting food made her stomach sway in protest.

She headed towards the door then stopped in place when she saw the handle turn.

Shit.

She wasn't ready to deal with this. Her willpower tended to take a nosedive into nonexistence whenever Jason entered her vicinity and she had the ungracious ability to respond so incredibly inappropriate from just one innocent stare or inadvertent touch.

Where was her independence now…when she needed it?

The door opened to slow for her liking. Her shoulders stiffened in unease. Her fingers curled into the heels of her shoes and her knees locked straight like components finding their position.

The patience traveling through her was wearing thin and the emotion fell solely on her own helplessness when any one thing in her life remotely involved Jason Morgan.

" Hi."

The deep whisked greeting made her skin shift out of place. Startled her eyes shot up and he was there. Right there in front of her giving her the most enigmatic smothering look. He was closer than she anticipated and she wondered how he had moved with such stealth.

More importantly, how was she so lost in her own tangling thoughts that she didn't notice?

She gave an inhibited smile, seeking for her brainwaves to take action and supply words sufficient enough to pass as a reception, but she was numb and tired and sick of fighting her own feelings.

He was…just Jason, after all.

Except sweeter. Today at least.

Handsome and looking particularly vulnerable, his eyes poured down into hers like a rainbow breaking through a gray sky.

Back in his t shirt and jeans, his tousled hair was glossed and silky like the plane of a wheat field. His body leaned carelessly to the side as he studied her to the point where she was starting to become lightheaded.

He looked disheveled, disoriented, lost, but wondering, as he stared down engaging her with each shimmer and flex of the blue in his eyes.

He looked….She breathed in, her ribs retracted in.

" How are you feeling?"

Her head shot up and she wiped away the residual ramifications of his incessant influence on her. " Good." Elizabeth replied shortly, moving away and around him.

She grappled for semblance, staring at the door and not him definitely upped her chances. " Better anyway." She murmured unenthusiastically.

When she turned to meet him halfway in the conversation, knowing she had to if she wanted to get this over with and get out, the softness in his face fell away. His eyes sharpened, glacier ice now glared into her. " Maybe you should rest more."

" No…I rested enough." She wrote off lightly, bringing her hands around her torso, tucking her small shoes under the crevasse of her arm and immediately regretting the move when Jason followed the movement and stayed zeroed on her middle.

" I'm going to be late." She announced with a burst of fresh motivation, clasping down the nervous jiggle in her throat.

" Late."

The word slipped from in between his tight lips like just saying the word irritated him, never mind the explanation behind it. " For work." She made herself say, stutter and all.

" I'm supposed to be in at four."

" Elizabeth," He drawled out her name, catching her stare and pinning her down from movement. When she cooperated and let herself be taken by him he shook his head, his eyes the only thing remaining still and on her. " No."

She didn't like that word, especially when he had no right to use it with her. " Jason, please don't fight me." She counseled, taking an imprudent step in his direction. He already looked like he was on the verge of saying no again. " I need this job," she whispered with a sturdiness most people didn't take the time to detect.

" No you don't." He inched forward, his stare heavily hooded. " Not anymore. I'll take care of you."

The surge plied against her for relief. She went ramrod straight, surprised her clothes didn't iron out with the blatant move. " Well I want it then." She clarified, eyes bobbing between his defiantly. " I like working."

The corner of his mouth perked up, scantly, one cheek lifting with an allure that would arouse the pulse in a dead plant. His eyes were the only feature that didn't obey the indulging whim, staying serious and sterling." You're not keeping both jobs."

Her heart must have been smiling back in return, the tempo rose up against her. Good thing he at least couldn't see that. " Fine."

" Fine?" He leveled his gaze down on her, unmistakably direct.

" Yeah." Her voice carried her, her brain desolate. " I didn't really like the assistant job anyway."

His fixed glare thawed, melting into steamy mystifying pools. " You're not going to argue?"

She couldn't repress the soft chuckle that started in her chest and bloomed upward. She could tell he really didn't believe her and the ridiculous thought that she could ever lie to his face was absurd; but adorable to witness.

" Arguing takes too much energy." She explained, giving her stomach a gentle pat with the just her fingers. " I'm saving it all for this baby."

Immediately his emotions flipped on him. He came closer, not crowding but close enough to hover and his features pierced out with an ominous edge that still made her work for breath. " I'm sorry if I made-"

" You didn't. You couldn't." She quickly relieved him of the self berating that always seemed to be waiting in the helms to undo him. A warm tingle floated down her arm, swirling around the dent of her palm. She wanted badly to comfort him, a soft word, a kind gesture, but she didn't move. " I should have told you when I found out…I just was trying to do what you would want. I was wrong."

" No. I was wrong."

She could hear the scars in his voice, the torment depress his words like an anchor was wrapped around each one. They weren't even in at the midpoint of her pregnancy and he was feeling too much, regretting things he never would have looked back on if she wasn't pregnant. " Jason, I-"

" I should have never let you go."

She lifted the small protection her eyelids made and widened her view of him. Her mind had spent months working aggressively not to feel and now when she was being tested the battle already seemed lost as her emotions deepened in strength. " What do you mean?" She mumbled, staggering under his gaze.

He licked his bottom lip, chipping away her dissolving control. The suffocating slowness of his movements were like her own personal drug. He spoke, careful and unsure, a complete contradiction to who he was. " That night…I let you believe I didn't care for you….that all I ever felt was attraction. You believed me." The husky wounded quality of his voice banished all logic. " Why…why did you?"

How was she supposed to answer that when she was grabbing at whatever strength she had left to escape specific moments like _this_. But she was captured, caught, rendered under him like a helpless victim, like a moth to a flame. There was no escaping him. When would she learn that lesson she didn't know.

" Honestly…" she started, the tremble in her body infecting her voice, "You're so…I guess I just never felt like I really deserved you." His bruised stare darkened; which was odd because the color in his eyes lightened; the affect like electrical sparks. She continued, her voice shrinking as her honesty marched forward. " Like the whole thing that happened between us was some dream I had finally wakened from."

" Never…deserved… me."

The demurring descent in his short breathy groan scared her, made her want to make up a quick and easy lie, but now she was jammed in between wanting to know where this was going and what he truly wanted from her. Even if the truth would hurt her. She stumbled, recovered on time to let out, " Well…yeah."

He moved, his body barricading hers just with his wide shoulders. There was no misinterpreting the severe dip in his voice or the clarifying starkness that starved her senseless.

His bottom lip hung down in incredulity before speaking with minimal movement. He seemed pained with every shift he made. " How could you think that? How could you think that _you_ didn't deserve _me_?"

" I don't know." She pressed defensively, her brain having a serious shortage from his scorching nearness. " I mean compared to the other women you've been with…" Her words faded from the blaring frown in his eyes, but that only served to buck her anger to life over her nervousness "…. I'm this naïve school girl with no experience. Everything you said just kinda affirmed what I was so scared to believe inside me."

" And what about all those other things I said to you up at the cabin?" he countered, butter soft, with an underlining somberness trapped in an intimacy only a memory could inflict. His nostrils flared out, but he seemed ready to crumble down with just one word from her. " You didn't believe that?" he questioned low.

" Why are you bringing this up, Jason?" Elizabeth backed up a step, but the move was counterproductive when Jason didn't hesitate to shrink the small distance she had made. She sat on her emotions and landed him with reproving glare. " It doesn't matter now. That's over and done."

" Not to me its not."

" Well for me it is." She fought, crippled by the plaguing thwart playing across his face. She looked away, bit her lip hard. " I'm trying to move on. Please," Her eyes closed, than squeezed tight. "Let me."

" Elizabeth," She felt the warm callous tip of his finger under her chin as he led her face to his. The wobble must have been giving her away, her lashes batting under the severity of her good fight. " Look at me." He whispered, ruined and emptied. " Please."

She didn't, couldn't comply immediately, locked under her own need to survive this. But when the blunt tip of his finger slide deeper, skimming the soft inner plane of flesh, the oppressive little prodding had her moistened eyes gleaming reluctantly up, sensitive to his sight even with only the small reprieve of darkness.

The sweltering elucidation in his stare heightened, turned over and over inside her. He was on the brink, the appetite of his stare craving all of her, draining her.

" I…I" His hand moved to cup her jaw, his thumb stroking over the silk powdery expanse of her cheek. He watched his thumb go back and forth, his gaze then grazing her stomach, enlightening like an ember. His leisurely gaze made its way up to her parted mouth. His warm eyes impressed a kiss there before going back up to her eyes where he attentively committed himself.

His stare laid bare over her, peeled and exposed. It spread out across her flesh, bursting with a synergetic energy that flowered bright and hot in her. " What…what Jason?" she urged in soft encouragement.

" I-I…." The mystical luster spiked, the violent tremors of his breath beating against her face. " Elizabeth I…" From nowhere, from some dark corner of his mind Anthony's words echoed through his head, stilling his admission …. _If_ _you really care for her, you'll let her go. For good._"

He backed away, letting go of her so quick, at a blink's speed and wiped his hand down his shirt, disgusted with himself. Just a moment ago he was drowning with the plundering need to tell her, stifling the urge to just kiss her and let it be and now he was swept void of it all. He sputtered, swiping an aggravated hand over his face as he spoke through gritted teeth, "I don't want to lose you. I care about you."

She felt the loss acutely and wondered how her imagination had become deluded to the point were she couldn't trust herself. She was seeing things. She had to be. She recovered quickly, stuffing her arms under the protection of her armpits and nodded to the floor. " Okay."

" Just…" He breathed out, frustrated, the strain causing his features to bulge. "Let me take care of you." His raucous voice sounded almost like a beg.

" I need to go." She clipped, the words five feet deep under ice.

" I'll drive you."

" No," She answered curtly, taking a step in the direction of the door. He followed but this time reluctantly and without fervor. " I already called a cab."

" When do you get off?" His question was uncontrolled and gravelly.

" Ten."

Her hand was on the door when he replied, wrecked and trodden. " I'll pick you up."

There was still steel determination in his words that was for sure. She eyed him through the filmy visage of her eyes, wishing she could always see him like this. It was a little kinder to her upper respiratory system. " That's not necessary." She plugged on, dropping her shoes and shoving her feet in them with an indelicate move.

" I want to."

He was closer, but she predicted he would be. " Jason." She shook her head against the unnecessary obligation. This was the last thing she wanted. This was why she didn't want to tell him about their baby.

" I want to." He murmured again, velvet in his voice, fluid blue dripping from his gaze. " Besides, stop arguing. It's no good for the baby."

She snickered, the light gesture held no jovial tinge, but she mainly needed a distraction from falling again. She played with the idea to return his look, but thought better of it and locked her eyes on the doorknob instead. " Does this mean you're going to be even more bossy now that you know I'm pregnant?"

His throaty chuckle vibrated through, penetrating the soft walls of her heart. " Probably." He confessed unabashedly.

She turned the knob, shrugging against the palpable burden that continued to swell, back and forth between them. " I'd better go."

" Okay." His voice was sad, dilapidated to the soul of him. She felt the pull to turn back but didn't give in even when she heard the quiet timbre of his voice whisper. " Ten o'clock."

* * *

Her day was finally over.

The flow of customers never ceased from the second she stepped into the small shop until the fifteen minute call before closing.

She moaned unladylike, jiggling the set of keys in her hand to find the right one.

Her lower back pinched, the arches of her feet were sore and her legs were cramped from standing for the last five hours. She had to keep in mind that her body was going through a process it had never been under before. She had to be patient with herself. Normally shifts like this were a piece of cake. She had worked twelve hour days the summer before to pay for college without breaking a sweat and now a simple five hour shift was bringing her down to her knees.

College. She sighed in thought. That was her dream; a dream that was so far away from who she was and what she wanted now.

Now with her own sole bank account, she had saved enough money for next semester's tuition and maybe even books if she could convince herself enough to go.

None of that included the rent she still had to pay, her bills, and food. She quit her other job knowing she was eventually going to have to cut back hours with the baby and school anyway, but still, in the end, she needed the money.

She leaned her forehead into the cold glass part of the door, twisting the lock under her without looking down. Things in her life kept volleying back from messy to complicated and every time she turned around there was another facet or detail she had forgotten to consider.

Loving a man who didn't love her back wasn't helping her predicament either; especially when the urge stalked her repeatedly without concession.

Her life was so muddled. The things she wanted before, the desires to go to college, make something of herself, maybe even be a writer, didn't hold the same emphasis anymore. Not since Jason.

She wanted a life with him and their child. She wanted a home, a real home. She didn't care if they lived in a cardboard box outside of Penn station. She didn't care if they were poor or owned half of the eastern seaboard. She wanted him, all, good and bad.

Her adolescent dreams paled in comparison to the hope that ate away at her for a life that would never be hers. She had always wanted to make a name for herself, away from her family because she truly thought that would fill her, erase the damage the past had made.

The truth was simpler. When she was with Jason she did have it all. She felt fulfilled. Mostly, she felt heard and seen, like someone had finally taken the time to really see her after all the years of living like an invisible being.

She was safe with herself when he was there and that meant more than any worldly achievement could award.

Brushing the involuntarily feelings away she faced the street, her thoughts halting on their own when the black stretched limo which was undeniably Jason's purred to a stop right in front of the store.

Jason was nothing if not a man of his word.

She smiled but only to herself, her chin momentarily tucking in her chest for coverage. The door swung open and she moved towards the shiny car eyeing the dark isolated area around.

The night was quiet, eerily so.

Head up, her eyes scanned around her and she noticed a man about Jason's size standing on the opposite side the street. She paused. Newspaper in hand, he appeared distracted, involved in what he was doing, but there was something in the way he stood that seemed rehearsed and guarded. His stature reminded her of Max. His clothes, the hard cut of his indecipherable features, they all signaled a dangerous focus.

Was he…

She immediately forgot about him when she heard heavy footsteps to her right. They pounded across the pavement, stomping against her skin as fear swiftly took primary control.

Her hand whipped around to Jason, goose bumps scattered across her skin and her heart dropped into her stomach. Jason locked eyes with her. He looked paralyzed by the same panic moving inside her.

He lunged forward for her, but he was too far. The last thing she remembered was hearing him scream her name and then everything went black.


	44. Chapter 44

_Every time you make a move you destroy my mind __And the way you touch I lose control and shiver deep inside __You take my breath away __You can reduce to tears with a single sigh __Every breath that you take __Any sound that you make __Is a whisper in my ear Queen _

There was infinitely slow moment when Elizabeth really believed she was dead.

Her consciousness had finally decided to break away from whatever sleep or passing she had been in, but wherever she was now, felt just as somberly still as death.

No sense of life reached her, no sound touched her. There was the faint smell of Jason that breezed up through her nostrils. Soapy and crisp like the smell of fresh scrubbed skin after a shower, the pure recognition of him and no one else.

Her heart was beating, but the vibration was a million miles away from her, soft and distant like she was hearing the slow thump through a tunnel of other noises.

Her eyes moved under closed lids, rotating and finding their place before lifting under the heavy burden of her sleepiness. Opening her eyes didn't help her lost equilibrium. The darkness circuiting her was too thick, unpliable, crowding out even an insignificant detail that could signal a sense of familiarity.

She moved, her limbs working double time just to extend out. Her breathing came out even as her legs stretched, feeling cool fabric over her. Beneath her was sinking softness, a wonderful drowning no mattress had ever felt like under her. Her body molded to the cushiony texture, the sensation pulling her down to close her eyes and sleep again.

She wanted to. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept, but right now her body whined for rest she felt centuries deprived of. She swept her grainy tongue over her dry parched lips, the laborious action becoming more tiring when her arm tugged to remove the frizzy tendrils blocking her unseen view.

When she did this movement caught in her peripheral vision at her left. Something or someone stirred. If she hadn't been so electrically aware of the dead silence she might not have noticed, but when she heard light breathing release before a rough cough was let out, the small sounds went off inside her like a repetitive smoke alarm.

She wasn't alone.

Her eyes squinted, the corners smiling out as she tried to decipher the movement over the pain announcing itself in her skull. The pain shot out, situating through her as fear coupled along in surprise.

What if Jason wasn't here? What if she was taken or a hostage?

She couldn't recall much of what had happened. Jason's wide eyes screaming out in alarm, the large heavy footsteps that stampeded the street under her, filtered through the soles of her feet and up, freezing her body in place like an ice sculpture.

All she could see now was Jason throwing his body into hers, her going down side first as he shielded her with his massive strength and then… everything went black.

Her chest thudded up as the fragments of memories flurried down like drifting snowflakes in her mind God, what if he was hurt or worse. She needed to get to him. She needed to make sure he was okay. If anything happened to him because of her….

" Hey…hey." Soft rustling traveled over the bed spread through her skin like a warm swirling river. She blinked several times, the impenetrable darkness unbudging.

A voice, a dark chasm, fluidly ran in the air and a calming melted sensation went through her. " What do you think you're doing?" The soothing tone asked.

A small orphaned tear gathered in one corner of her eye, fell before even truly forming. " Jason." She gulped past the burning knot in her throat.

His hand descended from out of nowhere, sheltering the one side of her face with its calloused heat. His thumb swished against the trace of her tear and she couldn't hinder the shudder that shook in her and passed on to him.

His breathing held a heavy exhausted note to it, relieved but still trapped in worry. He was watching her, she could feel her heart goose bump, her pores prickle in uncontained awareness. " Yeah. It's me. It's okay…" His thumb brushed the last few lines of her delicate black lashes. His finger trembled on release as he expelled a strained breath. "Ssshh, I'm here."

The solid evidence, the fact that she could touch him, hear his aching voice should have hushed her insides, but the realization only made her collapse further. Knowing he was here with her, but not really with her. She couldn't hold him like her arms rebelled to do, she couldn't do any of the things she longed for.

She sniffled, turning her head to the side so that his hand was squished lovingly between her face and the pillow. " I thought" She staggered mournfully, "…Are you alright?"

" I'm fine." He sounded closer, close enough for her heart to expand in her chest.

Her nose was buried now in the center of his palm, her cry was not thought out. " Jason please…"

He shifted his hand a bit, lowering to cup her face and draw her to where he was. His other hand came up as well, stretched away from her for a second to switch on the tiny end table lamp at the side of the bed, then came back to mimic what his other hand was doing, steadying her wobbling face with both large encompassing hands.

She was biting her lower lip to stop the jolt possessing her. The back of his knuckles cascaded down her bare cheek. Her eyes were closed, the sense of him watching her magnified against her when his deep whisper touched her. " You're fine. So I'm fine."

She had only seen Jason cry once, maybe twice, but the reaping strain in his voice now was a tender indication of the good amount of time he had spent trying to hold back tears. " You didn't get hurt?"

" No." He leaned in, threatening the air around her from doing its job. " But you did."

" I'm okay," Elizabeth lifted half her lids, her sedated eyes locked with his pulsing ones. " Just my head."

" I'm sorry." He didn't seem to have heard her, his features twisting as repulsion took over. " Your head hit the pavement pretty bad. You got a mild concussion."

" How do you know?"

" I had my doctor come and check." His thumb stopped its hypnotic exercise, cradling into the corner of her mouth. She felt his eyes there as well. " Are you feeling better?"

" Yeah." Her brow curled under her grogginess. She batted her lids, reaching for the space of time that had eluded her. It was like trying to capture air with her bare hands. " I don't remember what happened."

" That's good." The stiffness in his voice didn't match the smooth stroke of his fingers or the way they were distilling the sleep away from other parts of her.

She sighed past his words. " Tell me please."

" Its better you don't know."

" I need to. Jason." The words slipped past her unmoving mouth, the imprint of his thumb sat on her like a weighed ton of bottled fire. She made herself ignore the sensation and lift her head a bit, widening her eyes to grasp his attention. " Was someone trying to kill me?"

Her fuzzy vision took seconds to displace, his image finally fitting into the proper pieces like a puzzle. " Yes."

All of him was inches from her, far-off from where she wanted, but so near her arms wouldn't have to work very hard to feel his cool skin, take in his mouth with the tips of her fingers and revisit a path she had the good sense not to travel down.

She licked her lips, accidentally grazing the end of the thumb, which pressed deeper in on contact. " Who?" She asked breathlessly.

His cast a downward stare over her body, let an edgy sigh leave his body. He shook his head, taking the one hand that was lost and buried in her hair and brought it to his tattered, inscrutable face. He wiped a hand down the side of his cheek." I'm not sure yet." He admitted low and crumbly.

" The guy did he-"

" He won't bother you anymore." The color of his eyes glowed; lucidly alert and rock hard in concentration as he transmitted the clarity of his promise.

The silence erupted like a shot gun. She locked eyes with him, feeling the tremors rallying for overthrow. " You killed him." She didn't have to ask, she already knew the answer, but the words spilled from her tongue.

" No." His whispered, fixed on her, watching openly for her reaction, but rigidly holding back for her readable dismal. " Vincent did."

" Vincent?"

" You guard."

" Guard…" The word rolled from her tongue, not comprehending the full meaning behind it. When her eyes fell back on his, he shied away, looking down as she spoke, "When did I get a guard?"

He cleared his throat, played with the loose fabric of her shirt where her hip curved out. The touch shaded her skin like a sunburn and spread. After several seconds of thought out silence he murmured reluctantly. " A while ago."

Something hitched and knocked away inside her. A new awareness, a path of knowledge she sensed was always there, but couldn't be sure, revealed itself. She wanted him too look at her. " How long?"

" Does it really matter."

Against her better judgment, against whatever sound mind she had, she lifted a hand to his face, the coarse hairs of his unshaven cheek gravening the skin of her hand. " To me, yeah." She nudged his jaw and for some reason she would never know, he allowed her. " When, Jason?"

The rising and falling of his breaths were exemplified only by the small tight move of his chest which followed the rhythm of his stare; obscurely set from depiction, except for the flaming intensity that was unnamed, uninhibited. " Two months."

She was being dragged under, too weak to fight, too enraptured to want to. But she wouldn't let his evasive maneuvers deter her. More than anything she wanted answers. She wanted the truth between them if nothing else. " I don't understand. Why would you have a guard on me?" Her hand fell away and his body tightened so brutally, the tension bled through the thick cover of blanket and into her. " I wasn't in danger anymore. We both know that."

He had turned into petrified wood over her. Solid, no life, just the unperceivable harsh twinkle of his stare. " Just for precaution. Just in case."

" Oh." The word grooved through her clamped down mouth. The atmosphere did an about-face, becoming unbendable, stifling. She squirmed under him and the sole connection of his finger on her mouth fell away.

" I'm sorry." He intercepted slowly, his breathing picked up in the small room, but he didn't do anything to relieve the pressure in him, between them, surrounding them like a fence. " I wasn't trying to invade your privacy."

Her chin dug into her chest as she looked down and noticed she was still wearing the same clothes from work today. Or was it yesterday. She had absolutely no idea what time it was. She fumbled with the first button even though it was set in place. " You were just doing your job." She mumbled in a quick gurgle.

" Something like that." He answered, dully, in an uninterpretable tone that was bathed in a torment with no origin.

She disregarded the unraveling timbre that usually seeped her dry of defense. " You shouldn't have. I was- I _am_ fine." She enunciated with a slight treble accenting her words.

He didn't touch her but he moved closer, leaning in to the point where she was forced to look at him. The sense- splitting move vanquished her determination, but she remained inflexibly motionless like a doll.

The awareness pumped higher, the gravity of his stare falling hard on her like the weight of his body would or the feel of his moistened lips right before he submerged for entrance." Tonight scared you." He whispered knowingly, a small shatter in his voice at the truth of what he was saying, " You don't have to pretend it didn't."

She was pinned to the moment, to the way he was roaming her face with each short pillage of his eyes. " It scared you too." Her soft voice floated out, bobbing eyes with him.

" I can see it in your face."

The wild thwart of truth played expertly through, beating against his face with ravaging appetite. His features softened and hardened, regretting, wanting, passing back and forth, tearing at him like a scavenger. " I was afraid I was going to lose you." The gravely reveal came out stubbled in distress, in his lack of control with the situation.

The urge to placate him wired her insides. The unforgiving pallor of his skin as thoughts of death and loss plagued him. Her hand waved up but fell limply on her chest, not wanting to confuse him and herself in the process. " I'm fine." She encouraged lightly, smiling despite the heaviness in both of them.

Moisture pricked his glare, liquefying the impenetrable wall erected there. Molten hot, he absorbed the feminine nurturing of her small smile like a desperate man on the verge of his suffering.

"You always say that," He murmured, thoughtlessly, his voice catching as he swallowed his tears.

" So do you."

He gave in, she could see the break, the surrender as his hand, the one that had been nestled comfortably in the indent of her mouth, came to brush the fall away hairs peeking out of her sloppy assembled hair. The torture in his statement was spacious, harbored in the dark parts of his soul he never exposed to the daylight of truth.

He licked his lips, studying his own movements, fruitfully bound to his awe in her. " I don't want you hiding from me."

He said the words to himself. She could have been a mere ornament in the room, but the silky feeling that ribboned through her, made her very aware of the fact that she was a woman under the capture of man she loved that didn't love her back.

" It's better this way." She dismissed lightly, emphasizing her tone with a slight laugh that gathered and left on a strangled note.

" Why?"

Her stare met his without thinking her actions through. He appeared as damaged in their memories as she was. " You know why." She countered, out of breath. Her emotions lay on her chest like the Rock of Gibraltar.

Somewhere along the way his hand had moved to her corner of jaw, his thumb falling down and back like she was an instrument he was playing, delicately and with indomitable precision. His eyes closed, sorrowed, maybe even shame teetered on the brink of disclosure.

He covered, lifting a hooded veiled gaze to her. " Have you thought about what we talked about?"

" Yeah I have."

" And?" He pressed, with a tinge of anxiousness.

She shrugged under his hand, muddled. There was no easy answer, there was no way to get around this. She was stuck in her indecision and that wouldn't change no matter when Jason asked. Tomorrow or hundred years from now. " I don't know."

" I know this is tough." His hand stroked unconsciously down her arm, sending a ripple, hot and untidy through the slumbering nerves under her skin, before landing in his lap. " I know this is the last thing you want."

Her head came up, tinted with an ache that had nothing to do with her present condition. " You don't know what I want." She said, her gaze keeping him sturdy and encased by hers.

He withdrew first, noticing the slight edge of her tone, but then his head tipped in and to the side, grabbing for a connection. " I know you want to keep this baby safe." The uneven throb of his murmur was debilitating. His eyes skimmed her stomach, laid planted, a cozy warmth spread through her when he refused to look away. " I know you want to protect this baby from nights like this…I can do that."

The moisture in her eyes infected the rest of her, spreading like a disease, compromising her heart, her soul, the best protected areas he always effortlessly sought through. " You would do that….marry me, be my husband for this baby?"

" Yes." He answered, unfalteringly, finally tearing his gaze from her stomach and meeting her stare head on. His breathing did that funny raspy thing, the blue in his stare dimmed, saturated by the moment. " Yes. I would be honored."

" Because you have to."

His head shook. " Because I want to." The thud in his voice echoed out, capsized on her insides like a good stomach virus. He tilted closer, picked her chin up with a slight move, the unwise step forcing to heighten the consciousness between them. " Listen I don't want to pressure you. Just think about it…okay?"

She would say anything to get out of this personally made –for- her torture chamber she had been chained in. Her head nodded, removing her chin from him with a small pull. " Alright."

He didn't seem to notice it. His hand like silk feathers played through her hair before landing on her shoulder. " Sleep, okay. You need to sleep." He advised low, the soothing comfort in his voice was melodious to her stiff bones.

" I'm not really sleepy anymore." She stated, drowsy with a yawn that indicated otherwise.

" Sleep anyway." He bent, her breathing diminished in the grips of necessity, and he placed a subtle but piercing kiss on her forehead.

He shifted away and the panic in her bubbled over her good intentions. " Wait, where are you going?" She shook, still feeling the kiss like a hot stamp on her skin.

" I was…" He saw the fright widen her eyes, eclipse the weariness warring through her. He hesitated against his body which was already stretching next to her, falling into her warmth like a gullible naïve child seeking solace in the safe cocoon only a family could provide. "…Nowhere. I'm right here."

He gathered her easily in her arms. The functions inside him were working the other way, hammering for a control that had slipped through the cracks. Huddled against him her face pressed against the inside of his shoulder. Her breath seared against his neck with each sluggish exhale she took.

" Good?" He whispered into the crown of her head, kissing the soft top without thinking. His instincts were raw, unburdened with each sensation she bulldozed his way.

" Yeah, thank you, Jason." She sounded half asleep, half in her dreams. She fingered the line of his chest lazily and he knew she wasn't conscious of what she was doing. Right and wrong were hard to juggle when exhaustion interfered. " Thank you for saving my life." She muttered, shyly.

He tensed, but she didn't feel it. Her breathing had faded and she must have been struggling so hard against her need for sleep that at the first available opportunity her body gave in.

His cluttered breath grew, the strings holding his emotions in place pulling for release. " Good night. Elizabeth." He tilted his head back, eyeing her beautiful sleepy profile and his chest squeezed violently as he finally expelled an imprisoned breath. " I love you."

* * *

Sleep couldn't stop her mind.

Marriage.

It wasn't exactly a future every eighteen year old had to ponder.

She was supposed to be going to keg parties, wondering what fraternity she was going to pledge, going on dates, finding out if a hangover was really as gruesome as people dramatized.

At eighteen she was not suppose to be contemplating marriage and how she was going to raise her child between a mob war and keeping the man she loved at arm's length.

There was too much to consider. Too much particulars she hadn't even thought of.

Her brain was top heavy with the knowledge that any move she made, any decision she exacted was going to affect her and her baby for the rest of her life. This wasn't childhood problems that could be solved by the indulging pat of a parent or the purchase of a new toy.

Much like everything else that had happened since Jason came charging into her life that fateful night months ago, this was intense, life- altering, she was in neck deep and barely surfacing.

That's why she was cooking now.

Maybe it was her domestic side stretching its legs or some sort of therapeutic lull that switched her brain activity off from the fantastic pleasure it took in hurling thought after thought at her.

She lowered the volume of heat on the black finished stove. Jason had little in his refrigerator except beer and a couple of eggs that were still good. She scrambled them with a loose hand, the crackling sound of a simmering breakfast in the air.

Her other hand lay flat on her stomach, whishing back and forth thoughtlessly. Along with not being able to sleep, she couldn't function in the same clothes she was wearing for over a day. She hadn't realized it was morning until she actually came downstairs, stumbled through the grandiose hallway for a few minutes before finally discovering the far off kitchen at the back of the penthouse, tucked away.

The fabric of her shirt and pants itched her, felt sewed to her skin like an oily residue. She stripped them off quickly and deftly, rummaging through Jason's first draw for anything that would suffice as comfortable and decent. She settled for one of his plain white t shirts and large boxers.

His clothes emitted his natural scent, a mix of soap and downy softener, the warmth of his attire clinging to her like they had just been plucked from the drier.

Of course they didn't fit her, not even close. His boxers hung right above her knees and his shirt had to be tied in front or she would look even more ludicrous than she did now.

Barefoot, pregnant, hanging over a stove. God, her mother would probably have an embolism if she saw the scene before her. Elizabeth wasn't sure if she'd be pleased or not. After all, she was a conventional and conservative person to the point of nausea but she would also leap in joy at the idea of her getting married and making a family. Her goals for her middle child were never highly set to begin with.

On the other hand, she was pregnant with a well-renowned criminal's child, who she was very much considering marrying.

God, she was ridiculous.

_This_ was ridiculous.

The idea of marrying him should be banished from her mind completely. How could she do this to herself…torture herself with becoming his wife, taking his name, living with him, sleeping in the same…

She stopped, scooping the eggs with the plastic green spatula. She shoved harder at piece of egg still stuck to the damn pan.

But what about their baby?

If tonight was evidence of the kind of incidents predicted, she admitted without hesitance that she alone could not protect her child. She didn't have that kind of money or power.

This was her damn fault too. If she had just kept her stupid mouth shut and not told Anthony Marcone she was pregnant, none of this would be happening now. She didn't know what exactly she was thinking- she wasn't thinking. That was the point. She was so hooked by her emotions, seeing Jason again after all that time, she couldn't breathe to move, never mind forming actual coherent thoughts.

Placing a fair amount of scrambled eggs into the glass plate, Elizabeth's sigh was teary.

She stopped, pausing in place as the bottom line rushed out at her. In the end, this baby needed safety, protection, care that she couldn't give all by herself. Jason could provide them with all that and more.

So, why was she holding back?

Her eyes drifted shut at the glaring answer. She knew why, did she even have to ask.

" What are you doing?"

She hid her surprise expertly, clutching the frail kitchen ware before turning around with a small bashful smile. She was hoping he didn't look as harsh as the cut of his question insinuated.

She was, of course, wrong. On all accounts.

He didn't look mad, he looked ravenous. He wasn't glaring like the supreme leader of a small country who had just witnessed a peasant stepping out of line.

No. He was standing over her, barely clothed, if loose fitting pajamas pants and nothing else counted, gawking at her like reckless savage about to devour his first meal after years of fasting.

She widened her mouth, trying to smile away the nervous set of fiery jitters that fleeted down in mountain-sized doses. " Is that a trick question because I thought it looked kinda obvious."

He came closer, a corner of his mouth perking up a bit, giving away the only sign that he was human and could bleed when pricked. " Elizabeth." He said her name through and unopened mouth.

" I feel better." She rammed a hand at his chest when she realized he was going to keep moving until he was on top of her. " I do."

He peered down at the tiny pale roadblock that barely took up the amount of space his heart would. " That's nice." His fingers looped around the fragile white flesh, his gaze back on her and wildly attuned to her behavior at this point. "You shouldn't be on your feet."

The trace of pleasure was gone from his face and voice, if it were ever really there to begin with. Sometimes Elizabeth swore she imagined such things as a coping mechanism to deal with the intensity he dished out in droves.

" I'm pregnant not incapacitated." She tugged at his hold and he complied to her silent demand, letting her arm fall away. Luckily he let the small gap between them remain there as well.

She cleared her throat when his eyes made a brazen unhurried trek down her body, suddenly both their present lack of clothing became abundantly obvious to her slow wits. " I thought a smart man like you would know the difference."

" Funny." His stare ended at her toes, held, then back up. " Stop changing the subject." He whispered, clearly distracted by his momentary lapse. Her nerve ends swelled, expanding under her skin to the point of a slow madness. She thought she'd pop like a damn balloon.

" What was the subject again?" she grinned innocently, thinking her teeth would split from the pressure not to dissolve into a puddle of slop.

" You." He leaned a hip into the stove. "Not listening."

The rays of the morning sun from the window behind her played against his bronzed skin and golden hair. He looked like some mythological sun god taking time out to dally with an ordinary being such as herself.

The truth in the insignificant thought made her frown, but she recovered perfectly, eyeing him with small smirk and sputtering out, " I tend to do that a lot. Not listening that is."

" I know." His eyes squinted at her small slip, his head leaning to the side to interpret her sheer but thorough covering.

She shrugged under his hefty disserving glare. " You should be used to it by now."

His stare chiseled away at her, grappling for information she warded off with each attempt he made to reach her. He licked his bottom lip, leaned into her as if he was going to tell her secret. "And you should know by now I always get my way."

The comment furthered the dismal sheen she was working so hard to curtain. " That's true." She sighed, defeated, taking the pan and placing it in the sink behind her.

" What are you thinking about?"

She turned back to him, but didn't make an effort to meet his gaze." Nothing." She amended with a breezy air that was only stifled by her translucent blue eyes. She tipped the plate at him. " Eat."

He grabbed at it without visually breaking apart from her and plopped the dish at his side. " Talk to me." He compelled, his sandy textured voice unthreading her strong bind of will. " Is it about…"

" Mmhmm." She didn't move, curled a hand over her ear to suppress the wave of hair that refused to cooperate. " Yeah."

" Like I said," He captured her hand as it fell on its way to her side. He looked down at their hands, the only thing connecting them together. Her paleness against his tan complexion was astonishing. His thumb traced a small vein over. " No pressure."

She shook her head, pretending to accept his generosity when time constraints insisted on a verdict. He could see the strain of her choices coming down on her, creeping and taking their time to leech off her strength.

" Do me a favor." He asked gently, with a small squeeze of her hand. " I want you to get checked again, make sure the baby's okay."

Her watery eyes brightened like diamonds under water. " I probably should." She agreed with a husky chuckle.

A slash of pain and worry went though him. He moved against her, the silk fabric where his knees were rubbed her inner thigh causing unprovoked heat to bud and flow in the juncture there. His hands came up to her shoulders to hold her in place. " Does anything hurt?" He asked, bordering on needless frantic. " I mean do you think-"

" No. No, Jason." She eased assuredly, securing her stare on him to make sure he was really understanding her and not drowning in his own panic. " But…just in case. I don't want you to worry."

The sigh that left him was overflowing with relief. The grip on her shoulders relaxed and his bunched expression uncoiled like the tight fist of his emotions were constricting every thing he felt.

" Thank you." His breathy response twinkled in his eyes. The corners of her mouth lifted, on course with her need to stay detached but suddenly the awareness of their closeness pounced between them. He didn't care, didn't try and back away.

" For a second, tonight, I thought you were dead." His hand moved up the length of her shoulder, cupping the nakedness of her neck. Entranced by his own movements, he murmured in an even slower fashion. " It was the longest second of my life."

" Me and the baby are fine, Jason." She calmly divulged, the outline of his touch lifting the skin with a floating burning sensation.

" If something would have happened to you…." His breathing elevated gutturally, came out in lust-filled heaves that incited and splintered around them. His roused blue eyes thrusted down on her, each flex of crisp blue circulating like a live pulse in each of her molecules.

He looked aroused, quivering with hunger, prepared to devour her with an immensity that plugged her lungs shut from giving and receiving air. " Jason…" She blundered his name clumsily, pressing a hand to his chest when she didn't appear to have penetrated the ferocious need going through him. " Don't."

The one distorted word seemed to be enough, lifting the dense fog of stupor that latched on to him. With a short stout shake of his head he let go, waking a bit from the dark trance.

" I'm sorry." His rugged apology waved out, suppressed under his desire. Acute shame was written across his face from his own ineffective discipline. All of him seemed ripped up by his quandary, but his eyes, on the other hand, unapologetically clung to hers. " I shouldn't have-"

" No…" She shook off his explanation, mostly because she didn't think she could bear to here what he had to say. " Don't be."

He drifted closer again. Elizabeth didn't think he was attentive of his own movements. Working against common sense, against what a person knew was right was near impossible when your heart was the opposition. He was fighting some being inside him that howled for freedom. " I know I'm confusing you."

She made herself turn and face the sink. " It's a confusing situation." She twisted the water knob on, squirted soap on her sponge. " Don't worry about it." She threw out carelessly with a stressed shrug she hoped he caught.

" I won't…"

" Listen…" She overrode, her fingers were trembling like leaves in the wind under the scorching hot water. Flipping the pan over she began scrubbing the other side with hard deliberate strokes. "…I've been thinking about this whole marriage thing and I," she paused only for a second, "…I'll do it."

" You'll do it." His subdued answer resonated contorted.

" Yeah…I'll marry you." She went on, lifelessly, but to the point. " If that's what you still want."

" I do." He answered over her; the air of his words dispersing and dancing down on the sensitive skin of her neck.

" But you should know, there are certain things that have to be realized before we both go into this."

She waited and when he didn't reply she crooked her head slightly over her shoulder. He was right there, waiting. " Like?" He whispered, unsure.

The water was still running, but she was done with the dishes. Knowing she had to stay busy, Elizabeth shut the water off and began drying her hands with the towel placed beside the drain board. " I don't want you lying to me. This marriage is about the baby, keeping me safe and nothing more."

" I don't…" He cupped her arm, but she shoved his hand away and he let her. His tone spilled out more aggravated this time. " Elizabeth, I think-"

" Jason. No." She did face him now, sighing wearingly but determined as she settled her gaze on him. He was just as torn and lushly miserable as before. " I will do this, but I'm going to do it with my eyes wide open, knowing the facts, straight ahead. I don't want to be blindsided like…" She broke away, looking down and twisting her fingers through the soft towel.

" Like before." He voiced with an agonized knot, looking away from her as well.

" The thing is I wasn't before." She tentatively professed, not being able to stand the shame and rage that mingled together in his features. " You told me most of the truth….what blinded was my own feelings and how strong they were. I never expected… I never asked for them. They were just there and they were so hard to ignore that I just let them take over." Her head shook, waving in her own unbelievable inexperience. " Which was wrong and stupid. I wasn't thinking. I was being naïve."

" Stop it." He whispered in an angry hush, darting his gaze between her wandering eyes.

" Stop being so hard on yourself."

" I'm not. I'm just trying to be truthful here." Her voice cracked and she swallowed to relieve some of the cramping pressure in her lungs. " I want to go in this with the truth. That's the only thing we have right now. I want this baby to be loved and cherished like it deserves, but we can only start this whole thing by being honest."

" I was there with you, you know." His hands came up and leaned into the sink on either side of her, making a fortress around her, unconsciously trapping her. "You didn't feel all those things on your own."

Instead of backing down like his usual nearness accomplished, she flared an indignant scowl his way. Her nostrils curling up and her eyes flaring prideful at him." This is what I'm talking about. You don't have to feel like you have to explain yourself to me. It's not your fault you didn't care for me the way I did."

" You always think the worst." He brought his face forward, the tip of his finger budging her chin up. His chaotic stare brimmed mutinously at her.

" I know what you told me." She pulled away from his touch, the seething in her awakening in her glare.

He didn't relent, didn't focus on her words or actions, but the small noticeable pain shadowed away behind it all. Her grand protection to hide what ashamed her now was because it would make her vulnerable to him and that only pushed him to the edge of his control. His head sank slowly until they were equal, face to face.

His nose brushed hers, a shimmering fume erupting in his stare. " Is that all you remember?"

" Jason." Her complexion fevered, her mouth dropping a scarce inch with each graze of his skin on her.

" Is it?" He breathed against her face, his skin going taut with each wrench of want that plowed him. " Tell me."

She shook her head before she said the words; soft strands of hair whooshing against him, her tears which she wasn't aware had fallen plastered against her cheeks.

" No." She quaked, shudders teasing against her mouth, the flutter of her lashes. She lifted her partially closed eyes to him, her belly burning like she had swallowed a star. " Do you… She licked her wet lip, felt the intake of his stifled moan. "Do you ever think about t?"

He was stalling, teetering on some threshold. He looked erotically drugged, at the tails end of restraint and about to explode. His forehead pressed hard into hers, his eyes squeezing tight shut. " Yes." He hands came up and held her face with them. " All the time."

" You're eggs are getting soggy."

Blinking first, he opened his eyes to her.

She was solidly convincing, but her body and her reaction to him shot all her good intentions to hell. " I don't care about the eggs." He growled, gripping her hair tighter. " Look at me."

She didn't appear to have heard him or she was consciously disregarding him. He pressed one hand deeper into the side of her face. He let the tension bleed for a second, only their piercing breaths hitting the constricted air. " You'll marry me?" he murmured liquid soft to her.

She squirmed under his touch, like the physical contact disgusted her. Her devoid expression slapped him, along with her word. " I said yes, didn't I." He let her go, watching her walk past him. The loss of her body, her enchanting smell ran acutely through him and he clenched his jaw to tame the impulse to grab her and demolish the wall between them.

But he didn't. With a shaky hand he dragged it through his hair. His insides were tangled, the weight of a house on his chest as he cleared the rough left over emotion from his throat. It didn't help. " Okay."

She was leaving the room as he heard her lukewarm response. " Okay." Her steps echoed against his mind, fading into nonexistence; like she had never been there to begin with, like her presence was a permanent mark on his soul.

This was going to work. He vowed silently to himself. He wasn't going to let her get away with running from what she wanted and what he knew she needed. There future would forever be interconnected because of this baby, but it was more than that and she knew it. That's why she was running and scared because she afraid of the _more_ part.

He was afraid too. Scared shitless, but that wasn't going to stop him. Not now when he was so close to having everything he needed to go on, to live some sort of happy existence, whatever that was. He didn't know happy, the fleeting emotion was estranged to him, but he knew being with Elizabeth was the closest thing to being alive, feeling that rush over and over like a never ending waterfall going through him.

Maybe he was being selfish, but he was going to make this marriage work and let the chips fall where they may. Anthony Marcone and the rest of the organization would get what they wanted in the end, just not the way they expected.


	45. Chapter 45

**I had this chapter done last week but for some reason the site wouldnt let me post it. I apologize for this being so late. **

* * *

_Marriage is not a noun: it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day. Barbara De Angelis _

She was getting married.

_Married. _

She had been saying the phrase over and over in her head since she left Jason in the kitchen yesterday and the absurd truth still hadn't drilled through her bricked denial.

This was wrecking every defense she had ever built for herself. She had accepted the fact long ago that she would never find someone who'd want to marry her. Elizabeth was quick to admit she had never successfully been able to form a connection with the opposite sex.

Least of all with someone like Jason.

But that's not what made her miserable now. No, what made her stomach sink like bowling ball was lying on top of it was her very fast coming future.

Like everything else in her life, good always came attached with a heap full of bad. She couldn't just fall in love with a normal guy who would actually love her back.

Like Lucky.

His name made her cringe in five different places, but the fact was Lucky _would_ love her. He would probably be the type of guy to tell her every morning when they woke up and every night before they went to bed, whispering sweet sayings like he couldn't live without her or he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with her.

She grimaced, remembering the last time she saw him. Maybe not.

Lucky's true character was as soulless and as transparent as his superficial agenda with everyone and everything. He didn't have enough strength to care for anyone if it meant putting himself out there or looking beyond the point of his own nose.

He was selfish, easily corrupted, and, well, too boot, -a complete asshole. On the exterior he was the exemplary candidate of a good man. Smart, good- looking, set goals, on the right track. There was only one problem. Lucky didn't have a morsel of goodness or kindness in him without an ulterior motive underlined.

Jason, on the outside, was this debase low life killer who had committed more crimes than the years she had walked the earth. He was amoral, dishonest, from the wrong side of the tracks. But underneath all that garbage, when the real him surfaced, he was nothing short of amazing.

A complete wonderment.

There was a gentleness, a sensitivity that made parts of her unfold and throb for days on end. She had seen in him stripped raw to the bone of all pretense. She had witnessed a side of him that no one had ever been exposed to. Underneath that granite mask, there was a man, a real flesh and blood man, who was sweet and kind and who thought about others before himself.

A man who had spent his whole life hiding just like she had.

She scoffed as she glanced in the foot long mirror in the nearby guest room.

She looked like a gloomy ghost sent to death row. She was paler than peeled ivory, her hair was limper than a wet dog and her skin was a mothish yellow begging for sunlight. The white summer dress and light blue cardigan sweater didn't aid her lame attempt to look somewhat presentable, but this would have to do. It was all Max had brought over in the short time span she had to throw an improvised version of a passable wedding dress together.

Jason had offered to buy her whatever dress she wanted, take her to any pricey department store with no worry of cost, but Elizabeth didn't need that. This wasn't a real wedding. This was a smart, practical move that two parents were making for the health and concern of the child they had made together. That's it. .

She glanced down at her belly. This baby was sucking the life out of her, breath by breath. She chuckled dryly, resonating happy and sad.

She didn't know how this was going to work. A marriage in name only. How exactly did they go about this when one half of the said couple was in love with the other half wasn't?

She wished she could talk to someone. Anyone. She missed Lulu. They talked every once in while, but it wasn't the same. There was a distance between them that wasn't there before. Maybe it was her fault, maybe Elizabeth had grown up so much in the last few months, she couldn't connect with anyone.

And the one person she wanted to talk to about it-Jason- she couldn't.

Jason's feelings might run deeper than just friendship, but how deep? She wasn't that naïve. The attraction was there. She had concluded a while back that he was attracted to her, but attraction was superficial, shallow like a puddle. It certainly didn't last in most cases.

She was being greedy then. She wanted more. She wanted all of him. She wanted what they had in the cabin but with promises, with a commitment that didn't encase just two days worth of fidelity.

She loved him, was in love with him beyond the limit her mind could comprehend. Every moment it was getting harder and harder to fight her feelings. With each compulsion, each stroke of her attraction, she wanted him, felt him in every waking inch of breath. Now she was going to live with him, have a marriage of show, grin and bear the consequences until their forty year anniversary hit and she cracked like a bad egg.

She had traded one prison for another. Her family wasn't Jason. He accepted who she was and he actually seemed to like her, even admire the real her, but she still couldn't be completely herself with him. Not now. She wasn't allowed to let her true feeling show. She couldn't say I love you, cry or be happy about what was going to happen, because that would give her away.

So she had to hide, just like she'd been doing her whole life.

And she was so damn tired of it.

" Elizabeth."

The soft rapt against her door sent a weary but thorough shiver through her, vivid like the soft hardness of his knuckles was brushing down the inside of her skin.

Whipping her waved hair back from her shoulder's, Elizabeth immediately annihilated the self destructive sensations and answered, a residual quaver lining her voice. "Come in."

He looked handsome. Beyond handsome. Handsome, a sweep of black lashes skipped over him and away, was an understatement. He was always handsome, always objectively gorgeous even to the married and unavailable.

Now in a black suit, black tie, black everything, his hair tousled out with a bit of gel, the breath of his shoulders expanding with each move, the hint of muscle bulging every time he moved- Jason was model-like perfection against her bloated nauseous weak self.

Her eyes turned down in a frown along with her mouth. She had used whatever feminine know how she had, which was little, to brush some peach blush on, dab a bit of clear lip gloss, coat her bottom and top lashes with black mascara, and still when she gave herself a pointed look in the mirror, she came across looking shallow under the eyes and thinned all around like a piece of delicate ivory fabric that had been washed to many times.

" Hey." She twisted a small inch to her side, forgetting the mirror altogether, the image burned in her like a lesion on her brain. " You look…handsome." She smiled, the ends of her mouth rocking in place. " Very handsome, Jason."

Her breath shortened as an array of emotions seamed darkly together in him. The soft flicker of his tongue against his bottom lip enhanced the appreciative lock of his stare. His hand came up gathered in the air to form a tight fist that rendered a gesture he thought unworthy. " You look…" He gulped hard with his throat only, " You're beautiful."

" Jason," She held up her own hand, embarrassment slashed across her vanilla skin in lusty abandon. " That's not necessary."

Her hand fell as he inched closer and she tucked the shaky appendage away for safe keeping. He couldn't be touching her at a time like this.

" You need to learn to accept a compliment, Elizabeth." The swirling blue in his eyes trickled down like molasses against her hyper reactive flesh. " You're beautiful."

"Right." She cooperatively replied with an edge she couldn't veil. She smiled as she clutched the buttons of her cardigan and pulled the fabric closer. " Thank you."

His jaw pressed down with a brutal grind. " It's the truth." He spoke with a hoarse twinge, knowing full well she didn't believe him. He tucked his hands into his pant's pocket, jamming them down into the silk fabric to collect some semblance inside him. " The minister should be here any minute."

" Oh." Her eyes widened as her lips puckered out thoughtfully. She surveyed the small room, thinking about the vast and overpriced mausoleum space downstairs and how the designers had the nerve to call it a living room. "We're doing this here?"

" I thought it'd be safer."

" True. I guess it's more…" She nibbled her plump bottom lip, which had become plump from over use and saturated with each flick of his eyes down to meet her unconscious movement. " Intimate."

The word unraveled between them, beating like a pulse point that joined their two bodies together. Jason's complexion darkened, fell into a carnal shadow that never quietly went away even when he changed the subject and asked with a gruff whisper, " How are you feeling?"

" Me and the baby are great." A fresh smile possessed her mouth without warning. She swooshed an open palm down her stomach, the fabric of her dress creating a noisy friction. " We're good." She eyed him with a starry-like gratitude in her gaze.

His lips twitched up, only on one side, crooked and set to magnetically draw." You slept okay?"

" Uh…yeah…I- "

" What?" His brow slanted down straight, noting the reluctance in her instantly.

" Nothing It was just weird," She shrugged off the palpable burden his stare remitted, "…being in a strange room…"

" You should have came and got me" He did little to masquerade his immediate displeasure and the awkwardness that trailed his statement, "…I would have-"

" Would have what, Jason." She looked at him dead on and it was probably the first and only time he was the one to flush self consciously, tingeing his tan profile berry red.

He quickly dismissed the small uncharacteristic moment, watching her through imperceptible but unguarded eyes that displayed volumes of mystery she didn't understand yet.

" I could have stayed with you." He gravelly replied, lowering his gaze along with the octave of his voice, which reverberated serious and haunted. " Whatever you needed."

Just the idea of him staying with her brought on images and scenarios she did not want to revisit. Waking up in his arms yesterday was plenty agonizing for one lifetime. She didn't think her battered heart could take much more taunting from the fates or whoever masterly designed these moments for their mere sadistic entertainment.

Her memory was too keenly aware of the small things to ever forget. She wished she could. His thick strong arms encompassing her, making her feel smaller, more feminine, holding her so close, like she was some precious object he was protecting even in sleep. She felt his strength, his warmth, the husky sound of his breathing against her, the way his heart thudded…through her skin, retuning the beat of her own in time with his.

No, him staying with her was not a good idea. But with each fight she grew weaker and she knew it. A part of her withdrew a little bit further from herself and she was becoming lost in her own isolated decision.

" That…. It's probably better you didn't." She smiled, the muscles of her mouth cracking under the strain of the rehearsed motion.

" Yeah. I guess." His mood shifted with hers, armored and watchful. He was having trouble monitoring himself and the innate way his body reacted, animalistic and unthinking. He had to stop confusing her and himself in the process. He didn't know what he wanted.

That wasn't true. He wanted her. All of her, any and every thing that made up who she was But it wasn't that simple. If he gave in, let himself love her like he wanted to so desperately, he was putting both of them at risk, opening her up to hurt and more. Anthony had warned him what love could do. Sonny before him.

Maybe it was better she never knew.

He gazed down at her, groaning inwardly. This wasn't going to work either.

Her big doe eyes beamed up at his, strained and wary. Striking. Altering and deepening the penetrating yearning sprinting through him, like small weights were wrapped around each vein, each pump of blood his heart took.

" Listen, tomorrow night…," He changed the subject, hoping to dim the sudden burst of lightening awareness in the room. " I was thinking it would be good if we made an appearance at the club. Together."

That made her blanch whiter than death. Her eyes darted between him and the open nothingness in the room like something would pop out at them from nowhere. She stuttered out, " Won't your crime family people be there?"

He stifled the laugh in his chest at her question and the cute way she delivered it. He made an unthreatening step closer, locking her eyes in place with his sincere ones. " Yeah they will. I think it would look good if we made an appearance, you know kinda like a united front."

" Well, I'm working." She excused with a shrug, without disappointment.

" Elizabeth." Jason sighed, exasperated by her stubbornness, though secretly he admired the hell out of her.

" I know what you're going to say," Her eyes glittered up fearlessly, set in her way, " but I need the money."

" Why?" His tone was disgruntled as his hands came up, but there was no sting in his voice, "you're not paying for anything from here on in."

" So you think." She chortled as she moved around him. " I'm paying for my stay here."

He followed her, turning her way, a flabbergasted look of rage painting his complexion. " You're my wife."

She faced him, her hair falling over her shoulders as she bunched her hands under her arms. He hated when she did that, like she was protecting herself from him. " Not yet I'm not." She informed with a hint of dare in her eyes.

" Soon you will be." His stare melded, forming one giant ache of need, uncomfortable and stuffy and fatal to her insides.

He stepped inches closer but it might as well been right on top of her with the way he was devouring her frame inch by primal inch. " You'll be my wife in every way that matters."

" If you're expecting me to love and honor and obey, I'm sorry Mr. Morgan you are going to be very disappointed." He was surprised when she played along, although lightly and unaware of the havoc she was inflicting on him, giving him a heavy-lidded look and an alluring grin that made her face look as bright as sunlight.

She had no idea of what she was doing. She was a child poking him with a very big stick. This was worst; so much worse than her playing against him. She was toying with a very aroused man and she had absolutely no idea what just one flick of her bedroom eyes did to him. " I don't think that's possible."

" What?" She grinned wider, revealing a peek of her pearl white teeth.

" Nothing you do could ever disappoint me." He said with a hint of worship in his voice as he silently drank in the blush that buried the white flawless sheen of her skin. " Quite the opposite."

The massive landslide of awareness avalanched between them; both rocking forward, their breathings hitching up noisily, the sound darkening Jason's eyes. Elizabeth fisted her hands under her arms, sheltering the apparent shiver from his exposure." What time are you going to the club?" She asked with a tight spring in her voice.

" Late." He asked, not moving from position. "Ten. You'll come?"

" If you want me to. I guess."

He couldn't help himself. He fingered one of the soft strands of her hair loosely hanging over her shoulder, stroking it down with his thumb. His eyes went from watching his movement to looking back at her. " I want you to."

Was it possible to feel the heated burn of his caress through just the root of that particular hair. Because she did. " Umm okay," She blinked, feeling pressure build in her lungs. " I'll leave straight from work."

He finally let go, but not before clutching a group full of her thick shiny waves and brushing them all back at once, adulating her with the slow delicate sweep. There was a moment of pause where he just looked her over. Something, she wasn't privy to, woke him, but he didn't move from his stance over her. " Vincent will be on you …so no side stops."

" Yes, sir." She snickered dryly, arching her brow unpleasantly at him.

There was a hard knock at the front door and Jason saw Elizabeth stiffen slightly. " That's the minister." He gazed at her cautiously, trying to interpret for any sign of discomfort. " Are you ready?"

Back was her reserved expression and mystifying velvet blue eyes. " Ready as I'll ever be."

He took her hand and was glad when she didn't back away. His fingers instinctively interlocked with her, the warmth of their facing palms, forging a unspoken oath between them. " It's going to be okay." He murmured, leading her out the door with a tender tug of his arm.

" Maybe that's what I'm afraid of." She whispered under her breath, making sure Jason couldn't hear her. " Just being okay."

8

The minister looked like he was on the payroll.

Something in his saggy eyes and furry eyebrow, the worn olive oil skin, embellished the gangster vibe to Elizabeth. His mouth was an upside down smile, flabby, reminding her very much of a moody sea creature.

And, of course, there was the trademark pinkie ring gleaming off his left pinkie finger.

She was sure there were men out there with just as much bling and greased back hair who had no necks and weren't _made_. But none of them were standing in the room with her now.

Jason looked nothing like the minister, Father Franco. That was the name he introduced himself with to her.

Even with the black suit on, standing next to Max, Jason appeared so different and yet there was a collective trait, a ruffian sophistication that unified them. The silent power they all shared. The way they looked around the room, said nothing, let their mere presence speak for itself.

There was no braggadocios air about them. They never did or said anything that would draw unwanted attention. They liked the anonymity of their power and the way in just one whisper, one nod, heads rolled.

Jason exuded that dangerous presence in spades. Sometimes it was hard to recognize or remember the real him, the him she had had known in Maine, when he was standing like an aloof piece of led, barely human, like now before her.

She hated, feared that side of him. She wondered to herself if that was how he had got over whatever feelings he had had for her; if he had just moved on, pretended not to care until one day he really didn't.

Standing behind them, awkward, her insides were fumbling over as anxiety nudged to the forefront. Elizabeth felt many various shades of wrong. She didn't fit into this life, the business or personal side. She didn't think she ever would.

" Hey." Jason had somehow crept up next to her when she was too busy drowning in her thoughts. " You ready?" he asked softly, cupping her elbow.

She eyed him under the brim of her lashes. Her face itched, the dress was about to pop, and the fathers heavy cologne was making her stomach churn. No, she as not ready.

" Yeah. I'm ready." She darted a quick look around. Max smiled sweetly and openly at her, the roundness of his cheeks giving him a boyish charm. " Hey Max." She smiled with a glimpse of delight, genuinely happy to see him there.

" Miss Elizabeth. It's nice to see you." His grinned back, unable to stifle the red burn dousing his cheeks.

" Max, please. I told you to call me Elizabeth." She placed her hand on his in a quick gentle pat.

" Yes Mis- I mean Elizabeth."

Father Franco waited by Jason's side, his bible clasped between his two hands, which were crossed patiently over his paunch midsection.

She felt Jason's hand slide down her arm, his fingers tightening around hers for a quick second. She thought he'd let go, but he didn't, instead intertwining their fingers like they had been when they entered to the room.

His hand was cool and warm against hers; not shaking and twitching like someone who needed a caffeine fix. Like her. He gripped her firmer, his finger tips pressing into the smooth back of her hand. His thumb swept over hers, the soothing heat of his calloused tip rough, sucking the oxygen from her brain.

He was so solid and sturdy amongst the storm brewing to life inside her. An anchor to her unsettled interior. She needed him now more than ever. Even though he was the last thing that was good for her. The last thing that had heart could handle.

How could the very thing that saves her be the one thing that also was her downfall.

When she peered up, still well underneath her lashes, she was sure he'd be staring at her, but he wasn't. His blond lashes, silk stems, were her only view. His eyes were on the ground as he scraped his bottom lip with his teeth, working his jaw overtime. He looked like he was preparing himself, getting ready. Her eyes squinted…he looked nervous.

" Shall we begin?"

The Father didn't sound at all like a father, but like a man who owned a gun shop or took numbers at some illegal gambling casino. Not a man of the cloth.

Jason glanced at her, his eyes, like glass stained windows, shone down on her.

All eyes on Elizabeth, her throat bobbed underneath her like an out of work slot machine. She didn't think as she spoke. If she thought she'd be saying all the wrong things. " Yes, that's fine."

Relief flooded Jason and he adorned her with a crooked grin only she could decipher. He didn't let go of her hand or look the Father's way as he instructed him to proceed. " Please, begin."

Father Franco cleared his throat, unfolding the well used Bible in his hands to a setting that had been bookmarked. " Today, we gather here to join Jason and Elizabeth together because of their love for one another. This wedding is a symbol of the depth and devotion that both Jason and Elizabeth wish to share with one another for the rest of their lives."

Elizabeth's mouth sunk, faltering under the words. She knew her eyes were glassing over in tears and from the way Jason's thumb pressed tenderly into her flesh, he sensed her sudden shift immediately.

" We are gathered here to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. If there is any amongst us who can show just cause why these two should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Max chuckled behind them.

They all turned to see him standing sheepishly behind Elizabeth. Caught and clearly not paying attention, his eyes darted nervously between the minister and Jason. " Um, uh…what was the question?"

Jason glared.

Elizabeth couldn't suppress the giggle that sputtered from her chest despite the tears that accompanied them. With her free hand she held the small bouquet Jason had given her on the way down the stairs over her mouth, her face glowing as bright as a burning bush.

The father's joules jumped under his displeasure and he glanced back at Jason who was still giving his guard a threatening scowl.

" Continue." Jason ordered through gritted teeth. When he heard Elizabeth's chuckle he glanced down at her, her eyes beaming mirthfully up, a constellation of diamonds in her eyes. All the quick rage that flooded him vanished in an instant as a swell of fraught primitive satisfaction coursed over and through him.

She was so beautiful.

" As I was saying." The father cleared his throat indelicately. " Do you have the rings Mr. Morgan?"

" What?" The raspy contour of his voice mumbled.

His smoky eyes occupied hers with a hint of fascination, sinking, immovably on Elizabeth. He delved for the rings in his coat pocket, refusing to let her hand go when she started to loosen her grip. He found them easily enough, placing them unceremoniously on the bible laid out between them.

" Jason, please place this ring on Elizabeth."

Elizabeth's mind stalled, glancing, down as she absorbed the delicate platinum jewelry being held out to her. The diamond was shaped like a round sunbeam, brilliant, flashing up at her with two smaller sapphire gems on the side.

Elizabeth couldn't hide the stunned shock that wonderfully assailed her. Her mouth dropped a bit and she flushed markedly as Jason voraciously thrived off her delightful uncensored reaction, enchantingly savoring every second.

Licking his lips his stare stayed hooked on hers, his voice unsuitably intimate and husky for such a social event. " I wanted to get something that matched your eyes…this was the closest I could find."

" Jason," Her head shook and the moisture in her throat evaporated," You shouldn't have. It wasn't necessary."

" Yes it was," His tone pulsed low, breathless. " I'm just sorry…" He looked down, shaking his head at the inadequate jewels, "… the sapphires …they don't come close to your eyes."

An obstruction of emotion tidal waved her; shards of liquid sensation breaking off in her body. " Thank you…they're…it's beautiful." She whispered in a throaty quaver.

He found her hand, outstretched. He placed his palm under hers, lightly gripping her at the edges of her hand as he used his fingers to separate her fourth finger and smoothly slide the ring down. Her teeth nibbled nervously on her bottom lip as she watched him, not taking a breath.

Perfect fit.

She did what she could to repress the tightly wound emotions, but there was only so much a human could withstand before they shattered into a million pieces and vaporized into oblivion.

" Elizabeth."

She broke her gaze from him, grabbing the thick plain platinum band from the bible with her fingertips. The metal was cool under her heated touch and she timidly sought for Jason's fourth finger which was already laid out in the air, waiting for her.

When her finger lightly caressed his accidentally a shudder went through him ending buried in her nerves. She looked down, suddenly embarrassed by the intimate feeling that waved furiously through her. The ring traveled easily down the tan length of his finger without resistance.

The minister cleared his throat several times, trying indelicately to break the arresting trance fluxing between the two people situated next to him, but when nothing seemed to work, he decided just to continue and hope they would follow. "Both of you, please, repeat after me."

Jason, seeming not to have heard him, nodded.

Elizabeth did the same.

Their stares caught and fused on one other.

His breathing, slowed, his eyes glistened over like morning dew as Jason started before the minister uttered a word. _"I, Jason, take you, Elizabeth, to be my wife…"_

Transfixed, she breathed in a wobbly breath, repeating his words with the same gravelly sincerity. _" I, Elizabeth, take thee Jason, to be my husband…"_

He stepped a scant inch closer. " _In sickness and in health_.."

" _In sickness and in health." _Her voice swayed, falling low.

" _For better or for worse…" _His eyes darkened, his supple tone oozing against her like melted candle wax_. "For richer, for poorer_…"

She stuttered under his consuming watch_. " For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer…"_

" _To love_," He paused, unnoticed to anyone but Elizabeth; his hushed tone, a decrescendo of an ache,_ " and to cherish_…"

" _To love and to cherish…" _Her heart leaped, thumping against her chest

" _From this day forward until death do us part."_

" _From this day forward," _A tear trailed her words and Jason lifted a hand, catching the running water and stopping it with a gentle press of his finger. She smiled under his touch, _"Until death do us part."_

The minister spoke between them, slicing but not fracturing the unbreakable tense mixture of sweltering awareness enlivening the atmosphere. " Do you Jason, take Elizabeth to be your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

He swallowed, his mouth parted, his blue eyes were heavenly luminous. " I do."

" Elizabeth," Father Franco turned slightly to face her. " Do you take Jason to be your lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward as long as you both shall live?

Her eyes rose to meet him in silent testament, speaking the words her heart had vowed long ago, without her consent. " I do." She answered, without a trace of the fear that had plagued her all day.

" Then, by the power vested in me and the state of New York, I now pronounce you man and wife." His eyes darted back and forth, a sign of accomplishment written on his face.

" You may kiss the bride."

She had forgotten about this part.

How could she. She had been so wrapped up in the actual ceremony the kiss had totally slipped her mind.

Jason was making up her for hesitance. Taking a step in, his eyes waited until she found him. When she did, he was staring at her, doing little to hide the fact that he seemed utterly captivated by her. His stare was twilight, faint, subdued in marvel. His lips were already wet as his stare searched her face for one small moment, stretching time and splitting her senses down the middle in the process.

He bent down, his upper lip grazing hers, the smooth surface, a shaft of hot trembles echoed down her shoulders and through. And then he captured her lips between his, inhaling all of her with the one kiss as she followed his movement and latched lovingly onto his mouth.

She felt his hand cup her jaw, his thumb trace down the sensitive line and then cup her neck as he slanted his head imperceptibly sideways and deepened the kiss a fraction. The tip of his tongue darted out, hotly announcing its presence to her very heated loins.

His fingers latched on to the base of her neck, his mouth moving over hers, discovering her as if it were the first time he had tasted her, lifting his lips up in a light stroke then falling into the depth of her mouth in a rhythm that turned her stomach to mush, moistened her center.

A moan started in her chest and ruptured out. Jason broke slowly away, his mouth smiling against hers. Her swollen lips shook in the aftermath, trying to fit a smile on her face, but the command wouldn't reach her mind.

" I'm sorry ."

He didn't sound it. He sounded like sex, like satin sheets and sweaty limbs. She peeked a look at him. He didn't look sorry either. She nodded, her forehead pressed against his. "It's okay."

His fingers, still buried in her hair, grazed against the unseen skin there. " This is going to be okay."

" Promise me." She heard the words, unchecked and on the verge of desperation, spur from her mouth; the rawness of the moment diminishing her common sense for good. " Promise me, we'll be okay."

He was staring at her mouth again and he leaned in, sipping from her mouth with his, a breeze of a kiss whispering against her, burning her insides into kindling. His mouth undulated over hers, spreading her mouth open and just when she submitted and let his mouth open hers, he pulled away, their lips sticking together for a second.

He tore his gaze away from her voluptuous lips, the red rim around them, swollen from his use … that gave him the hardest erection he ever had. " I promise. We'll be okay. Together."

Her eyes drifted closed. She was practically forcing him to make a promise she knew he couldn't keep.

But she didn't back away or negate the feelings hitting her from every angle. She let the moment be, let herself feel and enjoy what she knew wasn't going to last.

She would be his wife and live in the bounds of the vows she had made. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to, because her true happiness existed in being with this man.

Her husband.

She would make this work, die to her own selfish dreams and desires, try to be happy with what they had and not ask for more.

Jason would care for her, provide for this baby, that she didn't doubt.

They would make it.

_Together_.

Even if he didn't love her like she did.


	46. Chapter 46

" _The same passions in man and woman nonetheless differ in tempo; hence man and woman do not cease misunderstanding one another." Friedrich Nietzsche _

Yesterday should have been the happiest day of her life.

Everything a girl her age dreamed about; flowers, vows, the undivided attention of the man she loved. The aching sincerity in every word he vowed.

Only it wasn't.

Yes, on the surface, her 'dreams' had come alive. She had married the man she was desperately, blindly, without reservation in love with. She was having his child in about seven months give or take, and she was going to be occupying the same living space with him for the remainder of her days.

All good…on the surface.

To the rest of the world, Elizabeth would be considered very fortunate, even lucky ( there was that word again) to have found the one person in this messed up world she wanted to live her life out with.

But unless she learned and quickly how to sever her emotions from the rest of her- this, _here_, was never going to work.

Jason had kissed her yesterday like a man who had been denied the intimate experience for a timeless amount, too long and hard for his liking. When the opportunity had presented the necessity of a kiss, he didn't hesitate, didn't hold back. God, he didn't even look to see if she really wanted it or not. He just went in lips first.

The kiss itself was magical, consuming her in small exhausting inches; flurries of heat rippling in between her clothes and the very pointed pores of her skin that had awoken to a full salute from his one touch.

If they ever had sex again, she'd didn't know what she'd do. Could she even resist? She'd swear she'd probably come before he even touched her that's how strong and potent his mere presence was.

She was stupid enough to believe that moment had changed something, pushed them towards some understanding. They were always on the wrong page emotionally. It was like trying to play jump rope with a nonexistent participant. They were never in sync with each other and just when she thought she had finally figured him out what he truly wanted, the rug was jerked out from under her feet.

Like yesterday.

The guests, Max and Father Franco, had left and Jason had become suddenly rigid, ultra stoic, going in and out of rooms, avoiding even the barest of connections like eye contact.

He had transformed to stone; distant, regarding her slightly above a piece of his disgusting garish furniture. Or maybe the old bookcase he hardly glimpsed at sine she had started staying there.

After several hours, trying to make conversation, Elizabeth appeased his nonverbal wishes and remained silent, picking up a book from the crumbling bookcase in the corner, reading a classic collection of short stories. She was surprised when she actually began to enjoy the literal verses, submerging in her imagination and forgetting the present awkwardness she had been pigeon held into.

After some time had passed, awareness hit her, making her feel utterly naked, like eyes were on her and her head twisted around from the couch to find Jason standing at the end of the hallway, as stiff as a plank wood, watching her. No, not watching her, staring like on a man on the verge of some break.

He quickly rumbled some excuse about having to go to the office and finish paper work on a deal, grabbing his coat jacket and leaving too quickly for Elizabeth to even respond.

She didn't get it.

Last night was a nightmare trying to sleep and after several hours struggling she gave up and just read the rest of the book. She woke up in the morning to an empty penthouse, feeling like a complete intruder as she tip toed through the many vast rooms to find if Jason was in fact there. After several minutes of feeling like an idiot, her temper flared and she swung the front door open to find the guard, Vincent, standing there with the same plastered no nonsense business like composure on his face.

She fumbled her demand, which she had never done in her life to a total stranger except for Jason, asking where her new husband was and Vincent had crisply informed her he hadn't returned home since yesterday.

Just thinking about it now, sitting over the cash register, eyeing her ring as her hand lay over the black buttons, she felt nothing short of a fool.

" What the matter?"

Armen's question came from behind her where he was stocking the newest sells. She had reluctantly told him of her new and very fast wedding plans and his whole response consisted of a twitch of his massive white mustache and a disapproving look in his eyes.

She figured that was all she was going to get and considered herself blessed. If she was his daughter she didn't think Armen Dietrijik would have demonstrated so much self control.

" I…nothing. I didn't get a good sleep last night." Elizabeth murmured, flipping the _Book_ _in Print_ magazine to the next page when she hadn't even marked any good buys on the last one.

Armen grumbled something negative under his breath, taking the feather duster out from under the counter next to her. " It not sleep you need. It more…you know."

Elizabeth swept her fingers down the keys, sighing under the gravity of her bosses' stern watch. " I'm fine." She shrugged, half heartedly. " These past few days are catching up on me, that's all." She turned the stool a bit toward him. " Don't worry."

" No I worry. I worry cause no one else do. Where is husband? Where is family?" The duster wagged at the books furiously, moving like the butt of peacock in midair.

" Armen, please." She chuckled lightly, covering the strain breaking off inside her. " I'm fine."

" No fine. No fine at all." Armen turned, his amber eyes glowing indignantly. Whatever lips he had they twitched like a sea saw. " You lose weight, you work too much, no good for you no good for baby. I don't like."

"Armen." Elizabeth tried to sound offended but the truth was he was right. Too bad for him she'd never admit it. " Thank you for…for caring. I promise everything is going to be okay."

He didn't seem to hear her, grabbing her tiny pale hand in his large hairy weathered ones. He clasped them between his which were smooth but old and gave her a soft but reproving gaze that for some reason loosened and softened something inside her.

" Maybe I let you go. Maybe that better."

" No. No Mr. Dietr...Armen, no I like being here. It helps me." There were tears, unfounded, making her eyes shine. " Please …I want to work. It's the only thing that-"

" Because you hiding." He stated softly, with a compassion that stilled her soul. "You hide from life, your life. You can't do that." His hands squeezed hers, sheltering the shiver his truth brought out. " You do that, you might as well be dead."

She grinned, a tear breaking from the pool of water in her eyes, and skipping down to fall on her chin. "Someone once said that to me. I thought he was wrong…now," she breathed out, " I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything."

The jingle of the door rang out in the silent bookstore followed by the blasting scream of her name that sent nails of dread scraping down her back in recognition.

" Elizabeth Imogene Webber! How could you marry that man!"

Elizabeth didn't have to turn, didn't have to hesitate to think who was calling her by her full given name to speculate the owner of the voice.

She let her hand slip from Armens, wishing her wits were faster and she could have darted behind him without the newest patrons notice.

Instead Elizabeth muttered, " Shit," and dressed a formidably pleasant and surprised smile on her face as she faced the doorway. " Mom. Dad. Hello."

The disbelief in Armen's stare would have had her falling over laughing if she didn't feel so trapped…or caught. It really was a coin toss. She twisted her head to meet the elderly Turkish man. " These are my parents."

They both stormed to the ledge of the front counter, moving in complete coordination with one another like a dance step; which was odd to witness because they had never been on the same page about anything in their whole marriage.

" I cant believe you did this." Her mother bellowed uncharacteristically, attaching her hand to her hip. Her face folded in like she had just eaten something sour. Elizabeth surmised that was her martyred look. " What the hell were you thinking?"

Elizabeth blinked back her startled reaction. Her mother never cursed; least of all in public.

" She wasn't thinking." Her father added in a harsh reprimanding tone that immediately made her feel five and cornered.

Her parents looked…the same. Slightly older. Not that a person aged in a few months, but she was sure the physical difference had more to with the trauma of what they suffered then the effects of middle age.

They appeared better than her. She always felt underdressed next to them. Her father was in his usual dress sweater with tie and shirt underneath. A total eighties father who never quite kept up with the generational trends. Yeah, she definitely followed her father's footsteps in more ways than one.

Her mother adorned the same Sunday morning meets Donne Reed look; perfect hairsprayed bob that should have been decorating a manikin not a real breathing person; suitable unrevealing button down silk shirt that brought out the slight hazel in her eyes and a practical shin length black skirt that accentuated absolutely nothing feminine about her. The unflattering piece of material laid on her hips and went limp; laying over her body like furniture covering.

" You alright?" Armen's concerned whisper finally punctured her thoughtful appraisal.

" Yeah…" She shook her head a little too enthusiastically, placing a hand at the crook of his elbow. "Just give me a couple of minutes."

He walked away, looking reluctant and forced away like he didn't want to leave her side. She had to love him for his protectiveness. She never asked for his care and yet he was always there giving her the one thing she needed without a word.

Kinda like her …she gulped …like Jason.

Neither of her parents relented their detailed dissecting gaze.

She folded the ends of her tan sweater over her stomach unconsciously, flattened down the sides of her hair that were gathered and clipped loosely together in back. She had decided to iron her hair straight for tonight since she was going to have little time to get ready.

Her father, against his usual non-confronting countenance, leaned over the counter, latching an unsteady hand on to the edge like he might crack the wood in two. " You couldn't have warned us. Are you insane, marrying that kidnapper." Exasperated, he clenched his jaw for a pause. " Do you remember what he did to this family?"

Her mouth moved several times, always on the verge of saying something she didn't know quite yet how to formulate. " How did you know?" she finally verbalized in a uneasy whisper.

" The papers." Her mother frostily clipped out like Elizabeth should already be aware of the ancient news. " You didn't make front page like I'm sure your new criminal husband was hoping for but the article was there. I had to read it ten times before believing what I was seeing."

The harsh cut of her father's gray eyes glared out at her as he blustered in outrage, " What in the world are you thinking? He's a criminal. We talked about this and-"

" We never talked about this dad." She shouted over him, inching forward, " I can't even recall the last time we talked about anything."

" Jason and I discussed this." He informed without apology. Elizabeth's brow crinkled up at his words. " He promised to stay away."

She darted her eyes at her mother who remained reproaching and fixed in her state of disappointment. " What he..," She shook her head in confusion, "…He promised?"

There was a tilt of her father's head that almost appeared uncomfortable, but he quickly dismissed the small inversion and went on. " That's not even the point. Clearly, he has some kind of hold on you. Did he force you, is there some deal going on-"

" It's not like that."

" Than tell us what's it like." He slapped a palm on the glass of the counter.

She gulped, pressed down the climb her nauseous stomach took, and squeezed the rest of her together for the blow. " I'm pregnant."

The word dropped between all three of them like a grenade, muting out sound and the rest of the busy world outside first than total chaotic anger and shame shed off her parents like exhaust fumes. A mouse could have burped from the feta cheese

She didn't know what possessed her to speak the truth; the scary truth that was every parent's worst nightmare, but she had nothing to lose. Usually her mother was always expecting the worse from her and Elizabeth always had the uncanny knack of delivering. This was a group effort, which made talking, feeling, harder, but she had nothing to gain by lying. She was tired of having to lie most of the time.

This truth she could tell.

Her mother waved a hand dramatically over her face, pretending to be on the verge of collapse as she gasped out. " Oh my god. He knocked you up. Oh my god…" Her lashes batted away like humming bird's wings, "She's been impregnated by a vicious criminal. My nerves…I don't think I can stand this."

" Don't me so melodramatic mother." Elizabeth scratched her forehead until she knew it turned red, eyeing her father who stood shell shocked and blown away.

" He forced himself on you, didn't he?" Her mother shrieked, a ray of hope in her tensely squinted eyes.

" You'd like to think that wouldn't you. No, it was very, _very_ consensual."

" What happened to you?" Her father broke out, shattered, suddenly his age showing in all throughout him. " What happened to my daughter, the good responsible one who thought before making such foolish and rash acts like this. This isn't you. You would never-"

Something poked against her resistance, but she snapped out without thinking. " You don't even know me!"

Her mother recoiled back a step, clearly marked by her outburst, but father was glued to her words.

" How can you stand there and say that. Neither of you know who I am or have even tried to get to know me. You've both been so busy covering yourselves, worried about your own lies to ever get to know your daughter."

" That's not true." Bruce Webber interrupted, " Before Jason Morgan came barging into your life, you were fine-"

" I was dying." She whispered, the words unraveling her strength. " Only you didn't see it. Maybe you didn't want to or you didn't care, but you never saw what was going on inside me. I was living in a prison. I hated myself, my life and everything that involved it."

" Is this Jason's influence?" Her mother asked, untouched by her daughter's outpour.

" This is the truth." She affirmed wobbly, wiping the moisture from under her eyes.

" Whether you want to believe it or not. The only thing Jason did was open me up. He saw me when no one else did… not even my own parents."

Her mother huffed out, offended, her nostrils flaring repugnantly. " So its our fault. Everything is our fault then."

" No…no its mine." Elizabeth smiled miserably, her tears straining for release as she moved to sit, knowing she couldn't hold her balance and fight both of them.

" It's all my fault. I should have been honest. I should have told you how I felt long ago…I was just too much of a coward." She admitted under her breath, glancing between them but not directly at them. " I was miserable and I hated everything and everyone and it was eating me away inside….I wanted to talk to you…I wanted to tell you how I felt, but it never seemed right. You always were so busy."

" That's not our problem." Her mother let out between tightly closed painted lips.

" I just …I needed someone to talk to." Elizabeth sniffled back her emotion as she continued, compelled in the need to explain herself when her parents eyed her like a stranger. " Jason, he did that for me."

" You're not…you don't…" Her father heaved out a breath, worked for the rest of the words that spewed from his mouth like he was regurgitating last night's dinner " …Elizabeth, you're acting like you're in love with him… "

" I am." She nodded, undone to the point where nothing else mattered but the truth. " I am, dad."

" You need to come home, rethink all this." He sliced a hand in the air, ignoring her admission and plowing forward to his own set of conclusions. " You don't know what you're saying."

" No dad," Elizabeth answered simply, staring directly into him, the growth of her age and certainty of her statement plundering down his usual strong hold on her. " For the first time in my life I do. You need to trust me."

" How can we trust you when you're behaving this way."

" I'm doing what's right." She countered, flinching at the failure she saw mirror in his gaze.

" You're being foolish." He spit out.

She bit her lip, closing her eyes at his appalled tone. " That's your prerogative." She muttered with a cracked tone.

" If you stay with him…I don't want around us." He shuffled back and her mother placed herself closer to him, patting a hand on his shoulder. He was beyond rage, moved way past pain. She had destroyed something inside the both of them that she couldn't take back. " I don't want you coming around with that filth. You hear me? You stay married to that murderer and you might as well be dead to me." He ripped the words out like they killed to say.

But he still said them.

" Dad…" She stood, "It doesn't have to-"

" Its him or us." He glared, tears shimmering in his own eyes back at her. Eyes that used to hold the gentlest touch, the warmth and security only a parent could bring. Now they were vacant and cold, hollowed out by her honesty.

" Don't …don't force me to make a decision like that." She breathed out, her insides bunching together in sick revelation.

" Too bad."

" Well I wont make it."

He sighed, peering at the floor then her as his resolve swiftly took action. He shifted his jaw to the side. Elizabeth knew he was trying not to cry. She did that too.

" You already have."

He nudged his wife toward the door, fishing for the keys in his tan coat.

Elizabeth came around the counter, sputtering out. " Wait, we're not done-"

Bruce Webber, her father, turned, halting the rest of her effort that fell and died between them.

She couldn't tell whether he was sad, enraged or disappointed but whatever he was feeling she couldn't reach him. She was a million miles away from where he was, just like she had always been with her family. But not him. Not her father.

For the first time since he came into the store he smiled, but it was bitter, laced in a personal regret only she could understand. She had somehow done the unforgivable and betrayed him beyond redemption, but if he was waiting for an apology he would have to wait a lifetime because it was the one thing she couldn't give him.

" When he leaves… dumps you off for another woman or goes to jail for a crime he'll tell you he didn't commit, don't you come crying to us." He stated firmly, the same unshed tears in his eyes. " I warned you. I warned you what this life was like, look how it destroyed us for a while. All you have is your family, you turn your back on them and you've got nothing. Jason will hurt you. And you'll be all alone, Elizabeth. Just like before. Like always."

* * *

Jason Morgan was a bastard.

A real bastard.

He was sure he wasn't the first to come across that conclusion and was positive he'd be the last to think such a thing, but right now he didn't give a shit what anyone thought. Except her.

Seated in a private booth in the far corner of his lounge, surrounded by the five families as they negotiated, sipped brandy, and ogled women, Jason couldn't get his mind off his very unattainable wife.

He had made a promise to her, a promise he had meant with every fiber of his being, one he had said and vowed without prenotion; something so inescapably part of him now.

Love; pure, slaying him powerless. He had never experienced something so untainted go through him. He was so undeserving.

But as he drank in her beauty, tasted the sticky gloss of her lips on himself, the texture of her lips engraved in his senses, he pledged himself to her- body and soul with all the passion and love that dwelled in him. His only regret was that maybe he had said and done things a little to hastily.

He wasn't thinking with his head, he was thinking with his heart. If he had had his way yesterday, after that kiss, He would have shoved Max and the father out the door so he could throw Elizabeth down and finish what that kiss only teased.

He'd take her, fast and hard, slow and soft. Each and every way until they were both deflated and raw to the bone tired.

And then he'd start all over again; on the couch, on their bed, wherever she wished as long as he could be inside her the whole time.

But that wasn't going to happen.

Every time he wanted her, which was fastly becoming every waking and sleeping second of his life, other thoughts and worries came trailing along with it.

He could have her if he wanted, tear her thin guard down and have the multiple orgasm sweaty limb popping marathon sex if he wanted…Jason blushed, silently thanking god the lights were low….. but the road to confusion would start there and never end.

He had never loved someone. He didn't know what to do, what to feel. He was the inexperienced one here and he wasn't used to being so overpowered by something he had no idea how to handle.

He had spent his whole life avoiding that particular emotion.

It wasn't hard. The company he kept, the life he lived, the people he ran with, they didn't know love if it slapped them across the face with a two by four.

Sonny had warned him to evade such a weakness, that it would mess with a person's head, toy with them like marionette. Love wasn't something to be underestimated. It could eat a person alive until they crumbled. The pain, the agony and whatever temporary happiness that fleetly passed through wasn't worth the aggravation.

Honestly, Jason hadn't thought twice about the enigmatic crushing emotion of love. He stayed clear because he didn't care. His interest leveled out on sex and how many ways he could please his available partner.

He didn't have to be trained either, sidestepping love's landmines were easy. He had never met someone who dared him to want to take the plunge, take the step of faith into the unknown and not care what happened next.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the issue now.

But, Jason sighed as he brought his Corona to his mouth, he wasn't too unhappy about the knowledge that he had fallen. Hard. And there was no going back.

Elizabeth had proven him wrong. In every single way, with every step, she made him see, whether she was aware of it or not, that love wasn't this cold harsh hand steering you around unwillingly, a servant to their bidding. Love was gracious and giving, a slit of light in a somewhat dreary world.

Still, there were barriers and obstacles overshadowing the confession that hung out at the brim of his soul every time he saw her. Besides for him there was his work and the hundred pairs of eyes that followed him, watched his every move with inflexible dedication.

He didn't care about himself, but he didn't want her hurt and opening himself up, opened up the floodgates for other enemies, making them both vulnerable to his higher powers.

People like Anthony. Maybe alone he was just one man, but if he could influence the rest of the families, Jason would be at war with half of New York.

He would not tolerate such danger coming upon her... his family.

His eyes closed. He rubbed a hand over his lids.

His excuses were fraying from all sides.

That's just what they were- excuses.

No time or place would be ideal. There would always be some reason not to.

The fact was he was afraid.

" Do you agree Mr. Morgan?"

Across from him Mr. Ficcarelli dabbed the sides of his mouth, resting his napkin in his lap as he wrapped his other hand around the leggy blonde whose hands had been underneath the table for the past twenty minutes.

The whole table stared at him, the drum of the music making the table rattle in between them, the ice in their drunken glasses bouncing in beat with the music.

He wiggled the knot loose in his tie, finishing off his beer. " I'm getting another beer," he mumbled blandly, standing and ignoring the harsh glares his associates returned.

He didn't feel any of them except Anthony's who excused himself and followed Jason to the bar.

Jason dropped off the empty beer bottle as he went behind the counter himself instead of waiting in the crowded line.

" What the hell are you doing Mr. Morgan?"

Jason dashed the side of the bottle against the wood of the bar and the cap flicked off easily. " Drinking a beer." He stated dryly, tilting the bottle all the way up and taking a thirsty chug like man with an unquenchable need.

" Don't be smart." Anthony's lowered his tone, leaning over the side with a collected open look on his face. " This is not the time or place to be making mistakes. You should know that by now."

Licking the salty taste of beer off his lips, Jason deemed the man an impartial glare.

" And what mistake would that be?"

" Where should I start." Anthony chuckled mirthlessly." How about getting married without informing any of your collages or inviting them to the wedding. You disrespected all of us."

" I did what you told me." Jason yanked the rest of his tie, used his thumb to undo the first few buttons. He scanned the room again for the fiftieth time. " You should be happy."

As if reading his thoughts, Anthony gave the overstuffed room a glance while cooing in mischief. " I see you're _wife_ isn't here yet. Are you sure she's going to make it."

Jason's eyes quickly found him, giving him a black stormy glare that displayed his foul mood without needed interpretation. " She'll be here." He growled, taking another slug.

Anthony shook his head, sighing in retreat as he stepped back, realizing he couldn't talk this shifting mercurial man, especially when he was drinking.

Backing away, his hands fell at his sides in surrender. " Married one day and you're already miserable." He chuckled with melancholy in the small gesture, leaving Jason alone to stew in his own brooding bent. " I wonder what that's about."

* * *

" Penny for your thoughts."

Not moving to follow the sultry transparently delivered words, already knowing and irritated beyond hell that she couldn't take an ungentle hint, Jason shifted slightly away in the small stool, glancing down at his watch. Where the hell was she? " You can go home now Charlotte. You made your appearance. Besides its getting late."

The strong scent of her perfume filled his nostrils, made his stomach cringe and bunch.

She placed a manicured hand delicately over his, fingered the platinum band and snorted ungraciously . " Married." She said the one word like a curse. " Didn't see that coming."

He slid his hand away from under hers, eyeing the bartender and nudging his chin out imperceptibly in a gesture that was clearly recognized. He turned the stool around, watching the crowd pulse and move, uninhibited by the mixture of alcohol and ambiance.

" I know why you did it." Charlotte rose, leaning into him at eye level in her black stilettos with him seated. " She told you she was pregnant and you wanted to take responsibility."

" Go home Charlotte." He didn't veil the agitation in his light demand.

" You don't have to lie, Jason." She placed a hand on his chest, let her fingers travel under the part of the shirt. " I've been working with you for a while and I know this isn't what you want. You're miserable, you need to let this go. You can't take care of everyone."

Looking down at her hand on him, the subtle invitation that six months ago would have had him dragging her to the check out room and fucking her against all the expensive minks and coats, Jason, now, could barely stifle the urge to rip her hand away. Instead with a gentle grip around her wrist he removed her weak hold and continued looking out at the crowd.

" We had some fun together." She whispered close enough to his ear to stir the hairs around the shell.

" Maybe you thought it was fun." He murmured, tilting back for the fresh beer that awaited him.

" You know just because you're married doesn't mean you still cant do whatever you want."

" What I want," he finally gifted her with a noncommittal glare, looking at her but not into her, " is to be alone." He was bored and tired and he wanted to know where the hell Elizabeth was. Charlotte swayed closer, half gone, ossified and giddily bleary.

She hiccupped, licked her blood red lips. She was too close for his liking, eye level with him, her dull brown eyes danced drunkenly around. She was smirking, hiding her inebriated giggle behind her painted fingers. Jason was about to get up and leave her to her embarrassing antics, but his secretary's words stopped him in place.

" Uh oh. Looks like your bride isn't too happy."

Jason's head followed the red head's direction. His bride, Elizabeth, was standing ten feet away with murder in her eyes, two bonfires of anger darted between the two of them and Jason's gut balled together at the suspiciously compromising position she was beholding.

The honeymoon was definitely over.


	47. Chapter 47

_**I originally had this chapter as part of the last chapter but it ended up being way too long so I broke them up.**__**I don't think you are going to be able to handle this chap. Its kinda rough and not in a good way….**_

" _You want me to act like we never kissed, you want me to forget; pretend we've never met, and I've tried and I've tried, but I haven't yet…you walk by and I fall to pieces." __Patsy Cline_

There were a hundred different avenues to react to the scene before her.

Pull the dyed roots from the heifer secretary who was pressed up against Jason to the point where she might as well be sitting in his lap. Now, _that_ would be fun.

Not sparing a glance at Jason she gazed at the suddenly wide eyed woman wearing too much cheap perfume and makeup.

Charlotte's gaze twinkled innocently her way. Elizabeth wasn't a violent person by nature but when she saw the premeditated glaze behind her foggy brown eyes she desperately wanted to claw each eyeball out with a bottle cap.

She could scream, tap her foot at Jason and demand an explanation in this very public place, at his business establishment, in front of his deadly associates no less.

She didn't do either.

Oh, she was mad; madder than a goddamn herd of sting crazy bees. She wanted to pound something fragile, easily breakable with something hard, meant for destroying.

She wanted to crawl into a corner, release the cramp that had been sitting in her gut all day, cry until her corneas popped out from exhaustion. She wanted her husband to move away from the leeching red head who was attached to him like a conjoined twin, similarly like the first time she had seen them together here, after two long months of nothing.

She wanted so much _not _to be here.

Her bed, well the bed she had been provided given her new arrangement, was only ten floors down and right now the call to flee and seek shelter in twelve hours of undisturbed sleep sounded like the only heaven she wanted to hear about.

She wanted so much of something she felt she was never going to have. The illusion of love that always appeared just out of arms reach, so close she could feel her heart reaching out as hope offered assistance, but only as a diversion from the truth.

All hope really did was delude her of her reality, taunt of her what was always in eyesight but too far for her to have, drifting away like a dream that always floated towards consciousness but never stayed.

So she did nothing as she folded her arms over her stomach and watched as Jason finally broke from his frozen position, locked eyes with her and …stared straight at her. Annoyed.

He didn't come to her, didn't attempt to ease the suspicions that whirled around them like live power lines.

Like yesterday, he glared, void, a black hole of nothingness. The ice in his stare hinted his displeasure and he grinded down hard on his jaw before saying through a slit mouth, " Elizabeth, nice of you to finally join us."

Motherfucker.

Of course, she'd never say the word out loud. She wouldn't stoop to whatever pitiful sublevel he was kneeling in, but her fingers did wrap tight under her arms in fists as she made her legs move a politely scant few inches closer. The eyes of Charlotte and a few other patrons suddenly intently interested.

" Well, I did want to look my best for you." Elizabeth smiled flatly, the corners of mouth didn't even work to curve up.

Her best was an understatement. She had rushed home to her apartment, knowing she didn't have any real fancy clothes at the penthouse and found her old high school graduation dress she had only worn that one time. The thing was brand new. No one would ever know.

The dark blue strapless dress matched her eyes. At least that was the reason her mother had bought it for her and practically forced her at gunpoint to wear. Elizabeth had complained then that it was too revealing, but now, watching Jason's eyes, almost against his will, greedily consume her body, she couldn't deny the throb of appreciation that ran through her.

The dress was a little tighter from being pregnant, making the fit a bit uncomfortable and in the process slightly indecent but she was out of options and time. She had cleavage which was hard to do with her b cups. She was popping out from all sides, her hips were at their breaking point, her stomach creaked against the fabric every time her arms moved, but, right now, watching Jason's stare darken in an lustful blackout, it was all worth it.

" I can explain…" Charlotte rushed between them, her dry martini sloshing across the carpet just missing the tip of Elizabeth's shoe, "….nothing was going on. Jason and I are friends and we were just talking…that's all." She indicated with a hard sweep of her arm sideways, sending the three olives in her glass flying out.

Jason, his gaze silently attending to his wife, spoke to his secretary. " I think it's time for you to say goodnight. A cab will be outside waiting for you."

She gripped Jason's shoulder. Elizabeth wasn't sure if she was trying to keep her balance and not finish off her mortifying display or she had a death wish that involved the heel of her shoe stuck up her ass. " Oh, no Jason, that's not necessary-"

" Charlotte." He did glance at her then with the patience of a fed up employer. " Please," he nudged her elbow in the direction of the coat room which also forced her hand off him, " Time to leave."

Jason tipped his head at the man in front of the luxurious doorless entrance and the alert, always prepared guard, nodded in response.

She had to hand it to him. Jason knew how to work people to his will. One slight gesture, snap of his fingers, and the whole world scurried to fulfill his every wish.

Elizabeth sighed at the ground, feeling a little off balance and unarmed when alone with him. Her heels wobbled underneath her and her eyes tingled to unleash the dam of emotion building up inside her ever since her parents walked out on her; ever since her husband walked into her life and trampled her heart over.

A constrained grunt rumbled low in his chest and Elizabeth's tired eyes perked up alert as he cleared his throat. She found him just in the middle of lifting his eyes from her chest, but it was so quick it could have been her imagination.

She quelled the urge to snicker at him, knowing under his bronzed complexion he was flaming red. Getting caught looking where you weren't supposed to wasn't exactly a personal best.

" You're late." He informed, coming to her side, only enough to barricade them in from the bar and any other pervading eyes. " I told you ten."

"It's ten thirty." She yanked her arm from his when she felt his fingers brush against the skin there. " I didn't know I was being timed."

He bent low, too low for a whisper, not low enough for other intentions. Too highly intimate for her frame of mind right now. " When I tell you ten, I mean ten." His rough timbre spoke against her.

She slanted a glare at him under her dark feathered lashes, defiance squaring her pouty lips. " If I knew marrying you meant you were going to have some power trip maybe I would have thought a little more before signing my death certificate."

His mouth let out a slow huff of a scoff, throaty but completely unamused. " I'm not in the mood to play games with you tonight Elizabeth."

A nice sweet couple passed and by and smiled and Elizabeth returned the kind act with one of her own. What she wouldn't give to go home with them. " I didn't realize I was playing a game, Mr. Morgan. Maybe you're just an overbearing tyrant who won't give me breathing room. How about that?"

He cupped her arm and this time when she went to pull away, he stayed on her, pressing his fingertips deep into the cushiony flesh of her upper arm. " _Mrs_. Morgan, my associates have been waiting to meet you. They don't like to wait."

She blared up at him, winter cold. " They'll get over it."

He glowered down at her, the tense message plain and uncomplicated, shredding her armor with each harsh flex of blue that cut through her like an axe. She looked away, spread the creases of her dress out with the flat palm of her hand. All her lame attempts were in a vain, draining her down as he took her apart morsel by morsel, strand by agonizing strand.

She blew out a tremoring breath.

" What's wrong with you?" His squinted eyes widened, probing her features for a sign.

" I don't know what you're talking about." Her mistake was answering too quickly, but she recovered like a pro, eyeing him and locking glares. " There's nothing wrong."

" Why are you lying to me?" He asked, a lash of satin in his voice, riding over his own rotten mood. " What happened?"

She shrugged under him, her innate response to his velvet concern making tears prick her eyes. " It doesn't matter."

He came up against her, the tip of her elbow embedding in his granite abs. His breath rattled out rusty, the rhythm mixing in a muffle. " What happened?" he asked again, stripping all the swiftly built up barriers between them and pushing her heart down to her knees.

He always did this.

The intense burn in her throat lodged there, the fixture of time and place her only focus and she tried not to be sucked under his swaying powers. " My parents came to see me. It…it didn't go well." She supplied dryly, clutching her purse tighter under her arm.

" Elizabeth. I'm sorr-"

" We'd better go. We wouldn't want to keep your associates waiting any longer." She tore her arm away and the only reason he let her was because her news startled him speechless. He was still very much catching up. With all it.

* * *

Mob men were just as boring and obvious as regular men.

She didn't know what she expected exactly. Marlon Brando types with ten cotton balls stuffed in their mouths. Well, maybe not exactly that, but where was the spaghetti and cannolis or Frank Sinatra swooning about the autumn wind while guys like Gino and Sal made sauce in the back with galloon sized sauce pots.

This, here, was like a meeting with Donald Trump look- a- likes only they were hairier and a whole lot hornier. Every women that passed distracted them from what ever territory or empire they were discussing to overthrow. Of course they said it all in code, but their wording wasn't exactly high tech and being the daughter to a mob accountant did have its small benefits.

All and all, a night in bed with a tub of Ben and Jerrys would have sufficed a whole lot nicer. Or painting. She hadn't done that it so long.

They had introduced themselves to her, each one of them, shaking her hand weak with their clammy strong ones as she stood and smiled like a goddamn beauty contestant all while they candidly appraised her like a high priced piece of meat new to their market.

They had asked her where she came from, what she was doing, what she thought about the Yankees winning streak to which she replied in one word phrases like Upstate, cashier, and she had absolutely no idea.

They all smiled, checked out her ample cleavage which made her want to run back home and throw on her Halloween nun costume from eighth grade.

After the short interview their peaked interest waned and they quickly sought and found other topics of higher importance. She was glad. Her life was not a best selling novel, more like an editor's worst nightmare of every bad soap opera cliché.

The whole time Jason had his arm securely around her waist; His fingers buried right under her breast so whenever she inched to move or shivered from the anxiety of being nervous, the tips of him moved in a comforting circle that calmed her.

But the introductions and small talk had passed and he still hadn't removed his hand. She didn't know if he was aware but his fingers were unconsciously moving in, indenting into the underside of her breast, sending a hot buzz right down under her concealed womanhood that was now very, _very_ damp .

She crossed her legs over each other, the wet of her panties mocking her.

" You okay?" His ragged breath murmured into her hair, the supple lips of his mouth grazing against her forehead as he spoke.

" Me?" She squeaked out a little too loud, grabbing the napkin and fiddling the expensive fabric that probably cost more than her dress in her lap. " I'm fine." Her breathy voice choked out, her lungs not allowing air to pass.

Stretching his other arm over his body, he placed his large hand over hers, stilling her jerky movements. He said nothing as he stared down at their hands than at her.

She continued her immobile stance, a complete contradiction to the liquefying that was melting all the vital parts of her body to react coherently. He pulled back only to gaze more fully on her, the sharp edge of his jaw easily seen in the corner of her eye.

" You sure?" The disorderly pitch of his question made him sound as if he was as affected by her as she was by him. Which couldn't be. He didn't seem anything but infuriated by her because of her unpardonable sin of being late. Elizabeth almost _had _tobelieve it was her imagination, starved for him, asking for anything to feel him.

" Yes." She nodded with the jittery notch of her chin. " I just need some water." She threw her napkin down, jumping up and not caring how desperate she appeared for space.

" Elizabeth-" Jason stood, took one step when Anthony stopped him.

" Jason, let me." He said the word as a question, but Jason knew he wasn't awaiting permission.

Anthony Marcone didn't want to do Jason the disservice of being disrespectful or rude with his wife, but the man got what he wanted which meant his hands were invariably tied where the elderly gentleman was concerned.

" Just for a moment." He winked, patting Jason on the arm in a fatherly way.

Jason didn't nod, but bowed his down at the floor, hating that he had to give in, but knowing he was without choice. " Don't be long." He advised stiffly, jamming his hands in his pockets as he reluctantly turned back to his table.

* * *

" Jason Morgan is a hard man to read. I think we can agree on that."

Anthony's diplomatic approach came from close behind her. She could sense the white flag swishing away in his speech as he slid into the stool next to her with ease and confidence.

She sipped the last drop of her club soda with lime, catching a piece of ice and crunching on the shaved coolness noisily. " What do you want Mr. Marcone?"

" Why to have to want something?" Anthony laid a tan hand on the dirty counter that was loitered with crumbs and a concoction of various alcohol. " Can't I just want to talk to you?"

She pretended not to hear him, not listen to every word he was saying and all the purposeful pauses that reeked of an agenda. She plopped another shovel full of ice in her mouth, which was mostly water by now.

" Because I have a long memory and last time we talked you threatened me." From the corner of her eye, she glared obtrusively. " I don't forget a threat."

Anthony laughed, clearly dazzled by her. She didn't know why but she could tell by the sunny enjoyment beaming off his black eyes. " You're a feisty girl Elizabeth. I can see why you have our young Mr. Morgan all tied up."

She chortled wryly into her cup, bunching the lime into her saturated napkin. " I don't know what you're talking about."

" Oh come now. He is a wreck." Anthony's chuckle died, his eyes somberly inspected her for any sign of false humility. " You really have no idea the affect you have on him."

" No. And I don't want to." Elizabeth twisted the seat to meet him halfway. She wanted this conversation over. " I came over here to be alone."

" And, what, leave your poor husband to fend for himself?" Anthony feigned shock, tipping his head at her knowingly. " You have a lot to learn about being an accommodating wife."

There was no sidestepping her thick scoff. " I have a lot to learn about men in general."

She swept a piece of hair from her face, reminding her again for the ninth time tonight to never iron her hair again. Hair had been blowing in her face since she walked out of the penthouse this morning and she was tempted to sacrifice a few chunks at the altar of her temper if it would lighten her dank mood.

Anthony leaned in, charismatically, arching a perfectly sculpted brow at her; the sliver of his words were lost amongst all his practiced appeal. " I suggest you learn quickly then. Jason doesn't need any more distractions. "

The breath grouping in her chest stuck. " Is that another non- threat, Mr. Marcone?"

" Oh, Elizabeth." He grazed her cheek with his cool palm then cupped the back of her hand that was lying on the open bar between them. The thick expanse of his thumb traced her knuckles. " When I threaten you, believe me, you'll know. I'm just a friend, giving you advice. I hope you will be wise enough to adhere."

When she tried to detach her hand from his, his fingers spread out like a spider, keeping her strongly in place under him. Her eyes widened, mingled in fear and anger, as they shot to his.

Collected as always, not a stitch of clothing out of place, a hair off point, Anthony remained coolly unhinged, his features amicable and open, but there was a drifting darkness that sharpened his complexion, made Elizabeth go hypothermic cold inside.

"You and your new baby are very important to Jason and therefore very important to us. Make sure you remember that. I wouldn't want anything unfortunate to happen to you _Mrs_. Morgan."

And he left, leaving Elizabeth frigidly glued to her seat.

* * *

When Anthony returned fifteen minutes later, all the satisfaction of a cat who just ate the canary on his face, Jason knew he should have insisted on going to see Elizabeth himself, but he didn't think she wanted him anyway.

From the looks she had been giving him all night the last person in the world she wanted in her near vicinity was him. Not that he could blame her.

Anthony walk was too leisurely for Jason's frenzied inquisitiveness. He stood, reaching his partner in one large step." Where is she?"

" She?…Oh, Elizabeth…at the bar…" He turned as Jason did, " …at least she was."

" Was?" Jason grounded out, barging in front of him to look.

" It appears," Anthony came up behind Jason, squeezed his shoulder, " Your wife has left."

* * *

The penthouse door crashed opened, announcing one tenth of his wrath as the force of Jason's blow sent the flimsy obstruction of wood swinging backward and bouncing off the wall like a piece of rubber.

Volatile, his eyes were set on the immediate emptiness that greeted him, intense anger curled his enraged features. Jason caught the edge of the door as it ricocheted back and slammed it in afterthought, stomping into the depth of the living room, his pace that of a mad man.

" Elizabeth."

The short call of her name echoed, no answer came from the bare walls, the silence his only scornful return. He stood in the center of the large room feeling foolish, mad and mostly duped.

Jason Morgan was a steaming express train gone off its rails.

The surrender to his crazed binge was an easy one. He was done fighting himself. " Elizabeth."

Waiting was not something he did successfully. In fact, he refused to with the mood he was in.

He plodded into the other rooms, searching blindingly, looking but not really seeing, He flew up the stairs, taking three at a time. His vision was blurry, emotionally wiping out even the smallest of details as his fury blotted out the scenes before him like ink spilt over a blank canvas.

No where. She was no where.

He ripped back down the stairs, skipping the last five steps as he made his way into the dark hall.

A noise, small and insignificant, pierced the fury clouding him. His head whipped up like a mongoose on the hunt, finding the scent of her smell, the mixture of coconut and vanilla….the hum of a faded whistle reached out to him…a teapot.

Next, all he heard was the hard angry clops of his shoes, thundering in his ear like the fracture of his self control, imploding in diminutive decimals.

When he entered the kitchen her back was to him. She was dunking a teabag over and over in the black large mug that was his favorite. Her dress was still on, her hair down and straight reaching the middle of her shoulder blades. Nothing had changed except for the fuzzy pink slippers covering her bare feet.

He eyes closed tight, his vexation sitting front and center.

" I called you. Why didn't you answer?"

She didn't turn, didn't acknowledge his presence, even her dunking didn't falter as she replied in an monotone voice, " I didn't feel like it."

Jason didn't have the strength to decipher whether she was purposefully trying to bait him with her comment and the way she nonchalantly delivered it, but her nonreactive response was instigating his temper nonetheless.

" You didn't feel like it." He stepped in, his words deceptively lifeless as he took a stand in the center of the small kitchen, his eyes arrowing into her back like weapons. " What does that mean?"

" It means…" she drawled with a frustrated sigh, wrapping the teabag around her teaspoon and squeezing the juice of the bag out into the cup, " that I didn't feel like it."

He watched her, the slight show of her profile visible in her small unconscious turn. She brought the mug up close to her face, blew out at the hot liquid with a full gathered mouth, making a wave in the tea.

Her sip was cautious and she cringed, pulling away.

" Why did you leave?" He ordered, without conscious, or conviction of any kind. He wanted answers with no disruptions or excuses.

Her pause was noticed only in the short bunch of her shoulders, otherwise she remained indifferently intact. " I was tired," She informed, her tone loose and unwinding. " I didn't want to be there …I didn't think it mattered-"

" Didn't think it mattered?" He seethed incredulously, spinning off her feeble try at an explanation. " I asked you to be there. You were late and then you leave without telling me!"

" I left," her voice rose, a wobble birthing her well concealed spine, " because I didn't think you'd care. You seemed quite occupied when I arrived."

His eyes went live, like spark plugs. " What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

She jammed the mug down onto the counter, the ceramic edge hitting the counter with a sharp breaking crack. Her sapphire stare jeweled furiously when she finally faced him. " Don't curse at me."

Her hands crossed under her chest, her breasts on the verge of spilling over. Jason quickly shot back up to her face. " Well start answering some goddamn questions and maybe I wont."

" You…ohhh…," She marched in front of him, the shine of the moon shimmering against her bare skin like crystallized white sand. Her mouth was swollen, her eyes were puffy, shadows of her marscra smudged under them

He could tell now she had been crying and something deep and sharp separated in him, stretching against him.

"You have some nerve." Elizabeth finally said, gulping, her voice sore. " I get ready for you after having a crappy day, running around like a crazy person trying to look presentable, and then when I finally do arrive I find my new husband attached to his secretary like a parasite…and you're upset?"

" You left me." He leaned down into her space.

She stepped back, seeming to the sense the sudden dark shift and change resurrect like a buried ghost in him. "So what?" Her words scourged in ancient hurt. " I..I just didn't want to be there and I didn't think it mattered either way."

" I want some answers, Elizabeth." He plowed on, cracking down harder on her with each whip of awareness that went through him.

" I gave you my answer. If that's not good enough, too damn bad."

" You're my wife. You should have been with me. I wanted you there."

" You're wife," she scoffed deliriously flicking the one teardrop like a nuisance. " That's rich. Is that going to be the excuse now. I'm your wife so I have to do everything you say. But in name only, right? Make sure you remember that part."

" Oh, I'll remember." He whispered, coming nearer, his voice, an erotic ascension straight from the depths of her own personal hell. " You pull something like and-"

" You'll what, Mr. Morgan?" She shouted, cranking the tension to an excessively high degree that popped like fireworks. " Leave?...not talk to me…what? You'll make me pay every time we're together. What's my punishment now?" The tears were slipping down her face like streaks of rain.

Stunned, his blue eyes went pale and all he could do was look at her, for the first time all night he appeared worn, depleted.

" Punishment?" The one word a guttural yank from his stomach.

" Elizabeth-" His hand tentatively lifted, reaching for her arm, but she saw the move coming a mile away and she stepped around him towards the door.

He thought she had left as he stood there dejected, swallowing the word punishment like it polluted his lungs.

He didn't want this to keep happening, this dance, this wall that continued to grow and follow them wherever they went. He was killing her, slowly but surely, killing her.

He turned and found her standing there, her back to him. His mouth opened to say her name but she spiraled around, incensed.

No, she was volcanic.

" I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you. I can't…" Her hand hit the counter as she mewled angrily, " I cant take this…I don't understand you. I don't know what you want from me."

She was on her tippy toes, her skin glimmering pearls, her lips spitting words that flung out like machetes at his heart. " One second you cant stand the sight of me, the next its like you want to eat me alive. I dunno, are you mad. Are you pissed… I have no fucking idea. And you what, I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to figure you out. I'm so fucking tired-"

He was so quick he didn't even feel himself move. He was hearing what she was saying, every syllable thrumming inside his body, graduating to a cureless anguish.

He was staring, watching her like he always did, absorbed by her unique exquisite beauty. Her reckless eyes, black lashes spiked from her crying, her little nose twitching under her temper, her mouth moving a mile a minute- all of it, all of it came together, throttled him down hard like metal shrapnel ripping down the walls of his heart.

And he snapped.

He pushed her up against the counter, his lips crushing down on hers in a sensual bruising force that tangled them together; netting her mouth to his with each brutal gulp. His pelvis grounded into hers as his mouth opened and closed against her, both their tiny gasps splitting in the air like charges of energy.

His hands mauled at her frantically, clasping at locks of hair, burying deep into her scalp to push her face closer and deepen the moist hungry kiss.

In the back of his mind, Jason waited for her to push at him, beat at his chest, rip at him, but when he felt her tugging pieces of his hair it was followed by a raw groan that rocked from her mouth to his as her middle grinded desperately into him.

There bodies smashed mercilessly against one another; both their mouths turning sideways, ferociously seeking, as they sank into each other, advancing on one another with stalking gluttony.

Jason's appetency for her was limitless, aggressive. …he lowered his head, eye level, dragging her mouth up and down, sucking on her bottom lip and nipping at the plump ledge as she squirmed for control, yanking his hair at the roots.

He broke away for a short second to see her ravenous sedated eyes pierce lasciviously up at him, fomenting him and his cock went steel hard between them. His mouth took and caught her luscious lips, licked the slick walls inside her mouth then found her tongue waiting impatiently. He stroked her hard. There was no delicacy in each lap as the rough flat of him surged against her, moving like a possessed animal in heat.

His hand latched onto the back of her knee, steered higher, deathly slow as he heard her moan into his mouth. His fingers slipped under her dress and panties, cupping her bare ass and squeezing the soft flesh with eager appreciation as her groan flowered out louder, harsher.

Her leg curled instinctively around his thigh, making the dress ride up on her stomach, the fabric of his pants heaved into her soaked center, her body pawing at him like a starving cat, begging for relief.

The grind of their bodies together was wild, unkempt, both turning each other on with each deep penetrating mill; the counter digging into the back of her thighs with each hard push and fall, but she didn't care.

His teeth scarped down her chin, her neck, her whimper shattering into the air, growing shorter with each animalizing nick of his teeth. His mouth was everywhere, his tongue licking the bruises his fevered kisses had made.

He tongued the slit of her cleavage and her center quivered in hot moist release. She encouraged him further, pushing her shoulders back as one aching tip poured out on its own, strained red and pointed.

He didn't hesitate, stroking the fuck out of the small berried nub, petting the point down into submission before sucking her in deep, gripping her ass tighter into him with each deep pinch of his closed off mouth. He rubbed his erection up and down, her clit throbbing out underneath, each nerve ending aching in a tingle.

" Jason." The word rippled from her mouth and he peered up, foggy, his stare eclipsing black as she bit her bottom lip with every suctioning fuse of his mouth.

" G_odddd_, please." She cried from the bottom of her stomach, clamping a hand on his neck and scratching at the skin as her head fell back.

He had to have her.

Bringing her other knee around so that her body straddled his, he whirled them both around, the empty kitchen table right there. He settled her down, a soft flick of his mouth on hers sending her back against cool sturdy surface.

He couldn't stop touching her, his kisses were gentler, worshiping, long damp strokes that had her legs spreading and welcoming him closer. His fingers crawled up her inner thigh, a barely felt swoosh of callous skin. His index finger hooked on to the center of her saturated panties, grazing her clit and tearing at the flimsy fabric which immediately shredded.

" S_hit. _" Her unbridled cry split in the room.

A tormenting whine resonated in her chest, her body shuddering in small aroused douses that made her limbs shake uncontrollably. He had his tie off with one hard whip. Blindly, he went to remove his own shirt but when his fingers fumbled in his rush she gently pushed his hands away, unabashedly staring up at him as she grabbed both sides of the dress shirt and ripped the two pieces of material against each other, causing the buttons to ping and fly everywhere.

Jason went rigid over her, fueled delectably to table her and pin her down as he fucked her senseless.

He felt his belt loosen, each loop giving way to his feral desire.

She was frantic now, trying to unloop the holes with wobbly fingers. Unable to stand there and watch he helped, whipping the belt out and throwing it backward.

He unzipped, the sound of metal exploding in the silence and he gazed down at her as she waited, flushed, aroused and ready.

Her deep sensual breaths, full, her one fleshly plump breast lifting with each need for air, dying for him, aching for him. He only knew because the sensations reflected identically to what was going through him as well.

Gripping behind both her knees he slid her body to the end of the table. The uproar in his face, the reddening in his complexion deepened as she lay against the cool table and arched, her body curling in pleasure, already driving for the feel.

He leaned over her, used the tip of his cock to taste the wetness of her inner thigh, then her damp folds. For him.

" Please…Jason…"

The strain of his shaft burgeoned like tight fire against the nerves there, frenzied for her singular gloved feel. He remembered the exact texture of her pussy contracting around his cock, a warm suffocation.

Riding on the compulsive burn of his memory he leaned one hand near her head and entered her.

And entered her… again and again. Short undulating strides that were deliberately slow, each slick pump of his body drawn out as he parted her knees wider and she interlocked her ankles high on his waist.

A shadow over her, hungry for each and every reaction she awarded him, he hunted for the ecstasy to glow across her face, reveling proudly with each whimper he pawed out.

The front of his thighs hit the table, making the legs screech with each hard thrust of his body. She clenched around him, squeezing the life out of him as she lifted herself on her elbows, removing the small distance between them and rubbed her lips over his in a tease.

He drove in hard and her mouth opened up against his.

" Oh ...god.."

She scarped her teeth against his sulky bottom lip that hung just above her and he drove in even harder, her mouth dropping agape, her head falling back with each escalating ram.

"_JASON."_

He wanted to see her face, needed to hear her as he mounted her. He forced her head up, his lips clasping onto hers with the soft coaxing lapses of his tongue. With the dangling hand at his side he found her pulsing clit, scraped a quick finger tip over its head.

She gasped against his mouth, shaking her head violently.

He caressed her clit again, softer, lighter, making it just enough for her to feel.

The tempo of each piston from his body accelerated, grew and her groans followed his lead, unintentionally egging him on. He lapped up every piercing scream, his body riding her deep, needing to hear her moan again. He didn't stop until he felt compacted to the hilt.

His finger massaged the sensitive ruby flesh again, trapping it between his two fingers and circling it tenderly.

She started to shiver under him and something went off inside him, reaching for her legs he lifted them over his shoulders. Her body automatically slipped down even further where her butt was in midair, incurved towards her body, as he bucked into her, pounding into her at a delinquent speed that had her body jerking, her one exposed breast wobbling like jello under him.

" Oh my….oh _god_…" She was ripping at her own hair now, tearing it back from her face, her mouth trembling and gapping open mute. Then his fingers sank into her drenched lips, drumming against her clit furiously. She gasped loudly, her breasts bouncing, her arms stretching out as she came. Her head lifted from the table, her eyes bugging out as she continued to reach for nothing but air. " _Jason!_"

She fell back down, the apex of her climax sending her head thrashing sideways, the strokes of his cock in her subsiding then picking up in taunting motions. When the orgasm lulled, her hand fell down over her throat then her breast in an unconscious caress.

Watching her, he came, the chords of his muscles bulging, his skin going taut as he bit down on his own moan, chills feathering through him.

To his pleasure -pained eyes all of her was orgasmic. Her vanilla skin now sheens of sweat, her inflamed mouth and the small whimpers that fell satiated, the way her seizured shudders infected him, made his head heavy, made his pelvis lurch smoothly back in her for more.

Still partially bent over her he diminished the space between, traveled small almost imperceptible kisses down the length of her exposed neck. Her unbound tit was hanging out, bountiful, provoking his insatiable taste for her flavor.

He suckled the turgid tip with just the surface of his lips, reluctantly removing his cock from inside her.

He heard her weak protest at the action and his breaths turned into deep grunts as he squeezed his eyes closed.

" Come upstairs with me." He whispered against her nipple. " Please." He said ruined, distracted as he took the ripe whole of her nipple over and over, cupping the fleshly roundness of her breast with his hand and bringing it higher into his mouth, making her back arc into the intense feel.

Incoherent…she mumbled, " Wha…Jason…I.."

" Elizabeth." He sucked harder, pinched against the bud with the inside of his mouth, the slurping sound deafening. His stare blackened as her body rose under him, gyrating in a call that told him she wanted him inside her again. " Upstairs now." He vibrated out like he was ready to rupture.

" I-I"

" Elizabeth," he swallowed, brushing his calloused thumb over the red tip; his forehead leaning into her perspired cleavage. He whispered a kiss there. " Please."

" Upstairs…" She fumbled the world like it was foreign, licking her parched lips, her hips moving up with every breeze of his rough padded thumb across her nipple. His fingers, on their own accord, reached for her, for the inside of her thigh, whished softy against the line of her still wet lips…

" Elizabeth." He growled against her.

" Okay….okay, " she moaned breathy, not even lifting her head or opening her eyes to acknowledge him, " But we have to talk. Plea-"

" Okay." He quickly complied, scooping her up easily, his arms lifting her up from underneath the back of her knees and pressing her whole against him as he inhaled her hair, kissing the crown of her head.

As long he was still touching her he was okay. He whispered into her hair as they left the room. " We'll talk."

…._**PSYCHE!)**_


	48. Chapter 48

_Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place Zora Neale Hurston _

She wanted to talk.

_Talk_.

Did she understand how difficult that was going to be considering he was still hard for her, still aching to be in her and his mind was doing a really shitty job of staying focused.

On the edge of his bed, leaning his elbows on his knees, head hanging low, Jason drove a shaky hand through his damp disheveled hair, wondering with deep frustration when his body was going to subside and ease up off this straining lust clamoring in upheaval against him.

When they had made it up to his bedroom, he had carefully put her down on wobbly feet, not fully letting go, not wanting to. Somewhere along the quiet way she had covered herself, fixed her dress, patted some of the untidy tendrils of her hair down, but there was no hiding what had happened.

Small red smudges marked the skin of her neck and chest, her face was dazed, her eyes disoriented, a loved film tinting them with a glow that made his body throb in tiny clenches for her to be on her back again, her knees swung over him…

With a bashful mutter she tried to excuse herself, saying she needed to freshen up as she teetered a bit sideways, fighting for some semblance and almost losing what little balance she had in her state. Jason hadn't drawn completely away and caught her by the elbow, immediately bringing them chest to chest, close enough for the gravitational pull to take over between them, that sinking sensation in his bones weighting him down.

His face had drifted within an inch of her, her eyes fluttering about dizzy, ready to receive his kiss, and Jason was thoroughly tweaked by the onslaught to violate her body right then and there against the door, but at the last second, she pushed away, mumbling an excuse he couldn't hear.

Jason stood stuck in place, reluctantly watching as she pulled away, not realizing he was still holding her when she slipped uneasily through his fingers which were curled possessively around her small feminine elbow.

He didn't want her away from him. Not now… now that he had had her. He didn't want her far away ever again. He didn't think he could handle the distance, the time, but his head felt screwed on wrong, it was late, and she probably still wanted to talk.

So Jason took the coldest shower he could in late November, let the water wash over his body, soak down the heavy feel of her on him, the imprint of her body, her skin, the echo of her moans as he buried himself in her, but they all rushed through his head anyway at a rebellious rate.

Nothing would work. She wouldn't wash away and he realized now, sitting on the edge of his unused bed, content and yet disturbingly ravenous, Elizabeth would never be washed away from him.

And he was a fool for trying so long to think he could.

She was as much an integral part of him as his heart and that was something that was never going to go away. Not from fear, excuse, or the life he lived….or how many times he lied to himself.

Sighing under the trembling nerves that gathered from his internal admission, Jason sat up, latching his hands onto the soft ends of the bed.

He had to focus, control his damn libido, but Jason wasn't deluded enough to think anything could succeed in distracting him.

No matter how many cold showers he took, how many times he tried to remain levelheaded, the fact was he was craving his wife, his dick was as hard as nails, and the last possible thing he wanted to do was converse in anyway that didn't involve their bodies.

When he looked at her, silence and action were the only things the sight of her inspired; _lots_ of action, tangled limbs, sweaty reckless yearning, her splitting moans while she writhed under him…

" Hi."

The small timid word had him springing up and whipping around like a gun had gone off. She was standing in the doorway, unsure, or maybe embarrassed by what they had done together. He didn't exactly know what but he wouldn't have her feeling shy around him.

Slowly, not wanting to scare her he came closer and she smiled tentatively at him, taking only a step in, her eyes skipping between him and the floor.

He knew she'd never believe him if he told her but she was radiant, so goddamn ravishing, it took all his strength not to fall on his knees and adore her for hours.

She was more intoxicating now than ever, skin bare and scrubbed, deliciously tinged raspberry, hair damp and wavy, shining like miles of ocean water, wearing nothing but a black thigh high night shirt that scooped distractingly low beneath the valley of her breasts.

The color brought out the angelic appeal of her whole embodiment. For some reason standing before her now she reminded him of the first time he had seen her when he was shot. He had thought she was an angel then to, either that or some beautiful apparition death was offering as a peaceful parting gift.

His stare fell to her feet, which were scrunching into the thick carpet, bright red toenails, the color of her temptation.

" Sorry I took so long… I just." She shrugged, her teeth chattering and he didn't struggle against his impulse to feel her, tipping her chin up delicately with one finger while coursing through her wet hair with his other hand. " I just wanted to get out of that mess."

The hand that was brushing through her hair drifted behind, sending him leaning over her. He immediately saw her turn scarlet, uncertainty and desire mingled in her as she bit her lip and placed her wide eyes on him. Then the thud of the bedroom door echoed between them and she smiled up at him unrepressed and free.

His hand fell to her side, his knuckles grazed hers then reluctantly interlocked their fingers together and she quickly finished the move tightening the hold between them.

Jason led her to the end of the bed, still silent, his eyes fastened on hers even with her following behind him.

He swallowed hard as he turned, his breath rattling to the caged beat of his heart. Their fingers shook in their joined clasp. " You okay?"

His fingers trailed down the side of her neck, fingered the small splotches of bruises his ardent hunger for her had done. She didn't look away this time, but answered him by taking a deeper step into his sphere, her own fingers falling in featherlike skims over his chest that made his body tighten like a coiled creature salivating to be let loose.

" I'm good." The corner of her mouth curved up over her tiny voice. " I'm better than good."

The small distance between them faded to nothing as he cupped her neck and leaned down and she seemed to know just what his dark eyes were avidly pursuing.

His stare was meant for destroying, enabling the best of intentions. His thumb pressed into her bottom lip and immediately her mouth opened and her eyes closed. He inhaled the fresh allure of her skin, drawing in fast uneven breaths against her face that seemed to turn both of them on.

The sweet aroma of her bathed body made him want to desecrate her with his mouth alone, taste and suck every inch of her until she was to weak to lift even a limb.

" Elizabeth." He growled, roughly. His top lip breezed tantalizingly across hers before dropping a slight lower and capturing her mouth with a light taunting flow of just lips. She breathed against him as her mouth curled perfectly into his, her arms coming around to dig into his back.

The damp heat of her mouth smoked off in his mind, his lips twisted over hers, carrying her up onto her tippy toes and him down as his arms banded around her tiny waist and lifted her up against his chest, deepening the kiss, engulfing their mouths together, at an erotic mating rhythm that was starved hard for need, the way their bodies had been downstairs.

Higher than him now, her hair fell around him, the smell of coconut and the primal burn of their unruly need pushing against him like an endless crashing. She gripped the ends of his hair at the base of his neck as he dragged his lips from hers and flicked his tongue over the flesh of her ear.

" Jason." She mumbled against the side of his face. " Can we…" His mouth found the silky dip of the side of her neck, his tongue rolled sluggishly down, pleasuring the sensitive flesh with diligent strokes, each with hair ripping slowness. " Jason," she gasped, " We… please, we have to talk…"

He stopped instantly but didn't move, his face buried in her neck as he sighed a gurgled curse. " I…I'm sorry."

" Don't be."

He lifted his head to hers, eyes fuzzy, his mouth was swollen like hers as he leaned his lips against her but didn't kiss the tempting ripeness. Their moist lips clung to one another, their breaths suspending with the exhaustive altitude the tension between them had reached.

The dense fog of lust cast a shadow over him as he grounded out in low aggravation. " I cant help myself with you…I just…I want you," The tip of his nose swished against hers. He bit down as he squeezed his grip around her, "…all the time."

" I know." She said, just as low, the yearning breaking her voice hoarse. " I feel the same way."

He sighed, closing his eyes and pressing a short kiss on her mouth before hesitantly letting her go. Her body slide down his, her breasts tripping down slowly over his chest and now Jason definitely knew she was not wearing a bra.

Fuck.

He watched her move away from him, each sway of her hips an excruciating goad to his body.

She sat down on the king sized bed, eyeing the monstrosity, looking sheepishly up at him as if she might break the mattress. Yes, the absurdly gigantic thing did look like some fake set off a floor show or some ritzy home decor magazine. It wasn't his first choice to pick, but a bed was a bed.

He came nearer, tentative and unthreatening, hoping some of the starved tension in him would unravel. He was starting to scare himself, but then he saw her shiver again, all other thoughts vanished from his mind.

" Here." He brought the rich dark gray cover back and nudged her gently in, placing the covers up to her shoulders. She smiled, chuckling as she watched him work.

" Better?"

" I…yeah." She grinned, her face lighting like a celestial being.

" What?" He bent down to her, his hand cupped the head board right over her and he kissed her forehead with a cherishing brand of his mouth, his nose getting a fresh hint of her dangerously appealing smell. He drew in a breath that made him sound famished and after a shaky second he abruptly pulled back and went to the other side.

She watched him; fascinated and a bit perplexed, wondering what he would do next. Jason knew. He could see the wheels in her pretty head turning at a rapid pace. Lifting the heavy comforter he slipped under as well, leaving his naked chest open, the blanket dangling low on his hips, right below where his light gray sweatpants hung.

There were a million questions in her inquisitive cautious eyes. Her grin was gone and all she seemed to be paying attention to was the fact that they had just had mind blowing sex on his kitchen table and now they were lying in his bed together, half dressed, both very aroused, and they were going to try and attempt to….talk.

Boy, were they backward.

" I know you want to …" He tried to hid the strangle in his voice with a slight smile as he whispered, " I wont …" He gulped as she sat up a little straighter, "I wont touch you." He promised with a noticeable lack of restrain, a piercing flex of muscle popped from his jaw line.

" Hey." She faced him fully, let the blanket fall from her shoulders into her lap, sitting Indian style, which gave him an agonizing view of her flawless snowy legs. " Its okay."

Clearing his throat, he looked away from her, the edge of his jawbone her only answer.

" Are you…are you mad?" She asked, wary for the answer.

" No." He spoke tightly, contradicting his whole being. He shifted, bringing himself eye level with her, his face dimmed unpenetrable in the shadow of the small bedroom lamp behind him.

Licking his lips he studied her, waited until her gaze was committed completely on him." I'm not mad. I'm…I wanna be with you Elizabeth."

Head down, she nodded as if she understood, but spoke distrustfully, " Jason, I know that…I mean what happened…you don have to-"

Leaning over her, he covered her mouth with his hand, forcing her to look into his brilliant eyes as they pinned her silent. " You see what you do to me." Low thunder rolled in his timbre, carrying an ache that made her thighs spasm. " I want you.…very badly."

He let go, slowly, his hand falling as he tried to intercept and see if she believed and understood the gravity of what he was saying. " You're attracted to me." She concluded with a practical edge that for some reason made his temper emerge.

He glared, not meaning to scare her, but it maddened him the way she neatly packaged his feelings and instantly wrote herself and her presence off in his life as some insignificant attraction.

That did not sit well with him. Somehow it diminished her, taking away the real truth, the earth shattering impact she had on his life. Since the first time he had laid eyes on her.

" Its more than that." He pressed harder with a thick stagger, his sole concentration unnerving her. His thumb breezed over the small space of bed between them, wishing it was her skin under him, wishing he could act on the feelings he had so much trouble saying. There was a small eternity of quiet before he started again. " Elizabeth, I wanna be with you all the time… in every way a husband can be with his wife."

The statement hung in the air, fell between them like a boulder from the sky. He couldn't decipher whether she was frightened, pleased, adulated. Her features were closed off, in deep contemplation.

Her brow curled under her thoughts and Jason felt the acute dilemma bleeding off of her. The seconds past on like hours to him before she finally spoke up, looking down at his thumb instead of at him.

" What I said downstairs…I meant it Jason. I'm tired of trying to figure you out. I can't-I don't have the strength to fight how I feel about you." She stuttered, flung her eyes his way and her complexion sizzled a mortified red as she continued.

" I want you…I want to be your wife because…because I'm in love you, because I've been in love you for as long as I can remember." A tear rolled down the side of her nose, her whole body quaked, calling for a strength that was too great for her to shoulder and it took all Jason's willpower not to end her pain.

" I married you because it's what was needed and we were thinking about the baby first, but…the truth for me is…I- I always wanted to be with you," She finally looked at him, her eyes were strained red, the waves of silk hair around her face a magnetic tug to his body, "…no matter how I got there, I always wanted this."

He didn't break from her, engrossed, his blue eyes immersing further deep at the sound of her confession, flattening him paralyzed. " I don't deserve you." He admitted in a guttural deliver grounded in misery.

" No." He saw her shoulders bunch as she placed her hand over his " How can you say that?"

He instantly removed his hand from under hers, ripping it through his now dry hair. Against his will, he tore his eyes from her, fisting his hands at his sides. She was so honest and pure, this untainted, unmarred object in the middle of his fucked up world, a total contrast to him.

" Because its true, Elizabeth." He murmured in self disgust, facing the wall ahead, his features and voice receding. " I'm no good for you…look what I've done to you. You've been kidnapped, shot at, you almost died because of me how many times…do you know how much that frightens me? I can't sleep at night, knowing you're not okay."

Instead of withdrawing like he thought she would, she kneeled over him, bringing herself within inches, waiting for him to listen, but when he refused to look at her she started, " Do you remember when we first met… I was always in my attic, painting, reading whatever…do you remember how you told me to take a risk?"

He still wouldn't look at her but she saw memory blanket the color in his stare. He whispered, his thoughts far off, overwhelmed in memory, " I remember everything."

" I-I used to go up there because I was hiding from the world, my life. I hated everything. Nothing made me happy and I didn't know why…until I met you." Her chest rose and fell laboriously just as his began to. His eyes squeezed down tight as she went on.

" I never met someone who made me feel safe, who I could trust myself to be around and feel okay…and they wouldn't care. I never connected with anyone and then you came into my life. I tried to ignore it because it scared me but it was there and I couldn't, I didn't want to fight myself anymore."

He shook his head like he couldn't stand listening. " Elizabeth-"

" I don't need that place anymore." Tears trickled from her, innumerable, plopping hot and fat on her cheeks. " I don't need to escape and I don't need to run from who I am because of you …because you are that place for me. You're that safe place I always want to be in, no matter what. You are… you will always be that person for me…and I can't help but still want it. I know that's not possible, that this was never part of your dreams…I'm sorry if that makes me pathetic-"

His body shot up so quickly, Elizabeth jittered at the quick move in surprise. "Don't." He cupped her face, his thumbs brushed over her drenched cheeks, washing away her tears. His face was shaded as an unknown tension rippled through. "I don't want you ever saying that."

She was crying now, her body almost collapsing in his hands, but she pushed her face out of the comfort of his warm secure shelter, gulping back the jag of tears as she said, " I cant help myself with you. Even if you don't feel the same way-"

" Elizabeth." The one stiff word was enough to stop her. He said her name with such severity, such stark clarity and disbelief, the anger was hammering away at him like a drill. He wanted to touch her, hold her, tell her that she was wrong and he had a million and one reasons why, but she stopped him.

" Why did you let me go?" She was as startled by the question as he was, but she didn't falter as her eyes trapped him in line with hers. " If you cared about me …why didn't you ever come to see me in the last two months?"

The water in his eyes shielded over as he scraped his bottom lip, looking down and away from her. " Because, I- I didn't want you hurt…I wanted to keep you safe and I thought that…that if I wasn't around you, you'd be okay." His explanation rang empty to his ears. His veiled stare reeked of self contempt as he finally braved a glance her way. "As long as my life wasn't touching yours I thought-"

" Did-did you ever think ab-"

" All the time." He didn't let her finish, planting his dusky knowing eyes on her which were securely bound to her, overbearing, until the tips of her cheeks brightly pinkened. " Every day."

She broke from him, sniffled back her tears into her hand. " My father told me he asked you to leave me…he wanted you as far away from me as possible."

" Your fathers not the reason I stayed away. I am. I wanted you safe even if that meant I- I couldn't have you."

" But you sent the guards and-"

" Because I needed to know you were okay." He whispered in quiet desperation, but his answer deafened in the room like a roar.

" You felt responsible for me, but -"

" I feel a lot of things for you, Elizabeth," He was staring at her now, waiting until she had the bravery to return her eyes and see beyond her own doubt. " Responsibility may be a small part but the last thing I think about when I see-"

" See, this is what I'm talking about…you talk in circles." Her hands flew up from her sides, exasperated. Her pale skin was reddened but not from embarrassment but agitation. "One second I think you care and then the next you are fighting it like it's the last thing you want to feel. I don't know what you want from me. You want me but you don't want to want me. Is that it?"

There was a high electric second of complete silence. Tortured and dragging him like a bloody corpse stuck under the wheel of truth. She was staring, waiting and on edge as his ribs retracted, digging into his stomach like claws.

" It scares me." The truth slipped from in between his closed mouth like the rip of an open wound. He didn't like the feeling, gutted and unpeeled like a dying animal at the mercy of some unknown entity. He saw her begin to scoot closer and he immediately got out of bed.

" Jason," Elizabeth's knees hung over the ledge. He could see she wanted to go to him, comfort, relieve some of the anguish riding relentlessly in him, but she kept her distance and asked in a small voice, "…Why?"

" Because I've never felt this way before." He yelled out, his voice stripped and raw as he faced her, watching for a reaction that never came. "I've never," his slit eyes closed in pain, his face contorting in frustration, "…you don't understand. You don't get it."

" Tell me." She compelled, softly like the satin feel of her skin, with a tenderness that made his knees threaten to buckle. " Please, Jason. I need to know."

" I told you," He grinded out, decimated, his body was evacuated of constraint as he moved closer and peered down at her huge saucer wide eyes, pulling him to drown in her. " I'm not good with words."

" You show me." She placed a tentative hand over the ruthless gallop of his heartbeat. She felt his skin jump under the contact of their bare skin and she sat up on her knees, almost eye level with him. " You show me all the time, Jason. Just say it."

A currency of need plundered him vacant and unhinged. The gripping instinct inside him taunted him to take her, push her down on her back again, but more than the action that his body singed to exact, was the need to fill himself with her, to be a part of her and know for certain it was going to be forever and always.

The deceptive calm around them did little to disguise his ambiguous features which rose with startling sharpness. His eyes were a razor- like glints that drank her in as his body called for her. His eyes soaked up the picture before him, her untouched beauty and the way he would always ache for more her no matter where he was or how this ended.

His head dipped closer, his breaths being pulled in by hers as she shook under him. His tears floated over the line of his lower lids, but didn't fall and he remained shackled to her, betrothed by the emotions that squalled for relief.

Clutching the sides of her he dragged her against him, chest to chest, nose to nose. He wouldn't let her run if she wanted and he wouldn't let himself escape this moment. Because he realized, as he looked down, absorbing every inch of her prettiness, she was his life.

" I'm…I'm in love you, Elizabeth."

The pounding quiet stretched between them and she didn't say anything, immobilized. He gazed at her with devoted staunchness, but she didn't so much as blink. Water filled her eyes but didn't stir like a lifeless doll caught between his hands.

" You heard me." The hands gripping her strayed deeper into her hair and carried her up against him. He breathed against her like fire was going through him, burning him from the inside out. His lips played across hers, but didn't sink in for a kiss. Her eyelashes batted over his cheek as a tear broke from him, falling between them and catching on her lip. "I love you, Elizabeth." The soft groaning rustle of his voice was ingrained by the built up pleasure finally set free. " I love you."

" You don't…" She tried to break away and he could see the unbelief, the sheer fear from his declaration unreadily assaulting her. "Jason-"

" Don't." His hold around her cemented, captured her into the cocoon of his chest and he nuzzled his nose into her cheek, lovingly hoarding gulpfuls of her smell. " Don't tell me how I feel Elizabeth." He spoke with an infinite ache in his voice that was immeasurable miles deep. " I'm done fighting you, me, this messed up world….I need you." The lump in his throat lodged high and the tears in his words followed the ones that dropped like a shower from his eyes. He arms fastened harder around her. "…I need you."

When she finally opened her mouth to speak the effort to talk was tasking. Her black lashes lifted, the blue illumination of his eyes matching the blast of his confession. " You…I…I don't know what to say."

The side of his finger pressed against her open mouth. " Don't run from me. Don't say anything. Just…be with me."

His eyes were on her mouth now and a small smile, contented and unchanging, swelled there. " I can do that…I can do that forever."

The center of his lips puckered out in a small chaste kiss then slanted, kissing the two deep corners of her beautiful bowed mouth; soft and slow, striking against her vulnerable protruded flesh with stunning exaltation. His eyes stayed open as he watched her explicitly, drinking in every gasp and shift of pleasure that crawled through her.

She was the one to deepen the kiss, fashioning her mouth on his and sliding her tongue in him, waving out to his awaiting tongue. Quickly, hungering one another, their kiss climbed as they dominated one another with from short frantic strokes that turned lazy and agonizing, whirling between them like a whip of magic. Leaning against her forehead, Elizabeth followed his inaudible demand and without breaking the kiss she teetered backwards on the mattress. Jason followed her, looking over and watching as the sweet glow of oblivion burned a ring around his heart.

Just looking at her made him feel safe and happy, two things he was so unused to feeling, things he thought he was never interested in wanting, but now that he knew what it was like to be loved by her, to see his child growing in her belly, he knew, with magnificent lucidity, he knew he was happy. And he was never going to let go of that.

* * *

They didn't talk.

Maybe there no words left to say or things to do.

Their kisses had lingered and they had stopped and started in the first few hours more times than she cared to count. It was hard to stop staring at him, wondering what he was thinking, why he couldn't stop looking at her so intently.

But that was what they were doing; laying on the bed, facing one another and just gazing. Once in a while Jason's hand would roam the curved outline of her body, then ball into a fist and drop between them. As if he was waiting for something.

He was fixed on her, addicted to the sight of her and nothing else seemed to matter. Jason's study of her was incessant, deliberate, as if he was absorbedly searching for something he knew he had already found and was still in a state of utter astonishment to believe it was his.

_She_ was his.

The thought made her heart wing out like it was going to fly out of her chest.

She couldn't help but glory in his unhurried, consuming excursion and the primal flicker in every maneuver of his glance. His sterling eyes pinched lustfully like melting ice; a warm sunburn against her. His hand lay folded between them, an itching quiver running through as he smoothed it down the length of comforter between their bodies.

She knew what he wanted. He was waiting for her. This time, it had to be her call.

And, god, did she want him. Just confessing her need for him to herself, saying the word _want_ made her wet because deep down her body remembered all the sensations and scolding hot promises that were attached to those words.

And they weren't just promises meant for now, for a time temporary and shortly escapable…they were permanent, a forever she still could not comprehend.

The back of his knuckles brushed the round of her stomach.

" The baby…the baby's okay?"

He sounded so uncertain, the raspy quality in his question causing tears to prick hot against her eyelids. She lifted her gaze to him, keeping him well in place with her words. " The baby's fine."

The earnest reply didn't ease the tension cording his rigid features. " I know but…downstairs…I was-"

" No." Her head shook as he latched onto the words that had to be yanked from her heart. " No, Jason."

His knuckles continued to whoosh down. She could feel the callous ends through the thin fabric of her nightgown and her toes curled into the soft mattress to halt the jolt to react eagerly.

One of his fingers circled the ample shape of her breast. Slow, with just the skim of his tip and her eyes fluttered, but he didn't progress further, just kept moving back and forth, with deathly long strokes.

Her body slid a half an inch closer and his eyes widened at the move, igniting high, than hooded down, impenetrable. His breath was unsteady as he watched her shoulder roll back a bit and the scoop of her nightshirt slipped lower.

His breathing strummed out like an out of tune instrument, the dark stains of lust in his eyes were hooked on her every movement, but he remained frozen, tight , magnetically rooted to her. Elizabeth nudged at her shoulder for a second time, closing her eyes at the cool breeze that greeted her when her nipple spilled over the edge of her clothing.

His body glided up against hers, until their mouths were able to touch, but he didn't move to reach her. He waited. Waiting hard and silently dying as her erect nipple heaved under her aroused heightened breaths.

She started to squirm the longer his finger laid underneath the ripe tip, a scant inch from a touch, but he was still. Her legs parted as her hips rolled a bit. Her face contorting as excitement and unmasked bliss routed in expectancy. " Jason," she whispered agonizingly into the pillow beneath her. " Please…please touch me."

Her eyes stayed closed, brimming on the edge for his feel, his touch. Jason skated down, his one hand reached behind the back of her thigh, gripped the delicious lush flesh with a hungry squeeze and then slide higher as his mouth fanned across the pulsing red tip of her nipple.

" You want me to touch you…" he whispered with a hellish seduction that made the lips of her center vibrate at a moist beat. " Do you?"

" Jason…" she cried, wriggling as a tantrum of need defiled her body boneless.

He was shaking now, throbbing shudders that made his spine straighten and his cock pounce against his lower stomach in a hardened call only she could fulfill.

His tongue came out and stroked her with light drafting caresses, teasing her, coaxing her enough to make her back curve into his mouth to fully take her in. He didn't think he could hold on much longer. She was moaning, whispering his name between her dropped mouth, her body throttling forward.

His hand moved higher and he froze in place as he realized she wasn't wearing any underwear.

" Elizabeth." He grounded out against her nipple, scraping the soft redness with the ends of his teeth.

She was doing this on purpose. She wanted him to go mad, completely insane, because that was the only logic explanation for such a sneaky but altogether cruelly satisfying act. It pushed the urge to make her come right then and there over the edge. His cock was going to be hard for days from this little pleasant surprise.

He cornered her nipple expertly with his tongue, sucking her in with every moist sandpaper lap, savoring her with each hard dousing suck. His hand drifted down to the front of her and he forced one leg over his, parting her wider. Two of his fingers slithered in between her molten pulsing lips, burying themselves inside her and taking her pulsing clit with her.

His rhythm was impatient and strong. She felt each stroke bathe her nerves, the surface of each bone. Her hips began to buck out with each torturing jerk of his fingers. One digit slipped inside her and Elizabeth's mouth fell open into an o shape, her eyes rolling in the back of her head.

" _Jason._"

The sound of her scream made him flatten the edge of his tongue against her nipple and swallow it, taking carnivorous slurps, making her breasts slap up against his face as she twisted under him. His fingers were dipping in and out frantically, at a crippling speed that had her twitch like a fish out of water.

It wasn't enough.

He needed to be inside her.

Reluctantly, he let her go and she immediately fought him, grabbing at his hands with dazzling strength.

" Ssssh. Come here." He whispered, ripping off his sweatpants and then his boxers as she sat up, looking drugged and about to fall over.

Luckily Jason was quick to remove his clothes, pulling at them until they were thrown to the floor and forgotten.

" Come here." He breathed in as took her face and began plummeting kisses on her, lifting her shirt in between the gulping kisses. Her shirt flew over her shoulder easily and he gripped her tiny waist, making her fall over him.

She rubbed her sex over the hot stretched skin of his erection. Up and down against the length, her juices leaving a moist trail. He pulled at the hair at the base of her neck with each taunting jot and that only seemed to excite her more as her hand came between them and wrapped around his thick girth and pumped.

" Eliz_abeth_." The cry of her name was crushed between his closed mouth.

Her strokes turned faster, hungry and Elizabeth felt her own center burn and tense with the need to come. Her head fell back and Jason immediately gripped her hips and positioned her over him. " Get on top of me now." He ordered with a dark sternness that severed them both from any remaining self control.

His fingers indented into the soft supple flesh of her hips, digging in, waiting. Her hands lay flat against his chest and she sank in, inch by hot inch him, her chest rising, her breasts bouncing as he instantly began to rotate up.

" _Oh_…...Jason…"

Knees bent, he parted his legs wider, wanting to feel the complete fullness of her tight opening in him. She followed his tempo, her waist rolling out with his as her hair fell in her face and her body swayed like a rag doll.

His fevered thrusts were in tempo with each wrenching grunt from his chest. Her pelvis followed his climb, the imprint of his hands her denting in, harder with each simultaneous undulation of their joined bodies. He removed one hand, lifted and touched her cheek then scattered down to her mouth that had fallen open. The flat of his hand drifted down her chest slowly, memorizing her texture, and trapped one nipple in between his two fingers.

Her muscles surrounding him clenched around his cock, grabbed at him in a suctioning strength for his release and his rhythm escalated madly, possessed, driving her hard and without mercy.

Leaving her breast his fingers pushed into her back, sending her over him, letting her breast dangle just above his mouth. He lifted his head in between torturing groans and fused his mouth over the tip, keeping her locked in place as he drank from the fragile soft skin.

" God…Jason…" And her body lifted and fell in him as she came, her cries ripping through her at an alarming speed that was deafening and elated to his ears.

This was his heaven. He didn't know if he believed in such things as god or an after life, but for the first time he believed in something.

Them.

He believed in goodness and love because she had opened that door to him and it now it could never be shut. No word or deed could break their connection and for the first time in his whole life he was happy. He was set …and he loved it.

Having her next to him, for the rest of her life, was his heaven and he was going to spend every moment with her, like this. Never _no_t wanting her, always acutely aware of her unique mark on his life. He was hers. Forever.


	49. Chapter 49

_We are never so vulnerable than when we trust someone- but paradoxically, if we can not trust, neither can we find love or joy. Walter Anderson _

He'd be lying if he said he'd slept at all.

He'd also be lying if he said he cared.

Watching her sleep, toss about whispering incoherencies from her pouted mouth, was well worth the loss sleep would gratify. Sleeping meant less time with her, away from her, and there was little struggle involved in keeping attentive when both his mind and body were acutely melded to every thing that involved her.

Sleeping was never going to be a remote possibility with Elizabeth next to him. Well, technically on top of him… with him still partially inside her.

The last time she had woken was two hours ago, her arms reaching frantically for him, in a haze of sleep, clawing aimlessly and he couldn't seem to go fast enough for her even though he had been the one fully awake, watching her.

She murmured feverishly, nibbling viciously on his ear and he was inside her, ripping at her to be closer as he pinned her down under him, her arms locked over her head and planted himself in until he felt resistance.

Both were in bondage to each other, the pleasure mastered them defeated. He took her with an overthrow of aggression, taking her and taking her until her center was raw and red, making her bottom lip bleed as she bit down with the pressure of each of his thrusts.

Her orgasm rippled between them like grounded lighting, flowing right into him, knotting him tight under the muscles of his stomach and he came in her so hard he was the one to collapse on her top her. He needed to slow down, knew this was probably too much for her fragile pregnant state, but the outrageously shocking twist was they both were trying to keep up with each other, step for step.

He wasn't used to being at the mercy of his own desire.

He was always the aggressor, the one who led with a mix of fascination and impartial curiosity, He had never been blindsided, raging with unconquered fever and unable to step back when needed.

Her aggression with him was giving him permanent wood.

He was trying hard to abstain himself and when he rolled on his back, taking her with him, he thought that would be enough, pacify the abandoning lust he always discovered inside him.

They had to get some rest especially after the multiple times they had woken each other up during the night, but his lower regions had a mind of their own.

And that was that.

There was no falling asleep with her hundred pound silky curves lying deep in his skin. He was too aroused by her, to insatiably caught, her body was pure gnawing stimulation to him.

Now her nakedness lay sprawled over him, limp and thoroughly exerted. He hadn't meant to tire her, but they both seemed to be doing a bit of catching up with one another.

Jason tried to get some sleep. He really did. But there was no fighting his bottomless appetite for his very luscious wife.

His fingers traced down the very pronounced line of her spine, up slowly, down even more slowly, memorizing the experience of her feel and her body trembled over him in reaction, but she didn't wake.

His squinted crisp eyes remained very stuck on her open mouth that was smooshed against his chest. Every time she breathed out a cool whip of her breath exhaled heatedly across his nipple like a stroke of her fingers.

She was snoring too. He remembered she said she did that and for such a little thing the sound that was coming out of her pretty little nose was damn impressive.

Jason tried not to chuckle, the laugh lodged in his chest, which made her bounce up along with him. He tried even harder, but failed miserably and without real effort, not to become engorged by the unconscious ways she was prompting him. But his need for her could not be slaked. She was all encompassing, this unconditional urge that never waned, never subsided.

Every time he glanced down at her he found something new he loved, could stare at for hours.

This, _here_, was the easy part.

When they were alone the world fell away and they could just be. Together.

Just like in the attic, when no one was around and he had finally gotten past her defenses, they had connected, in a way that lingered potently with him even after she left the room. There was no running from something that was unexplainable but senselessly real.

The obstacles, roadblocks, that deterred their bond was inconsequential next to what they shared. From two different worlds, two different walks of life, with nothing in common but this fierce attraction that somehow never would have happened if they had met under any other circumstances.

Under different conditions he never would have allowed himself to notice her and she never would have made herself aware of him.

She was so good and he was so tainted. Maybe the line between their lives never should have been crossed but he couldn't regret her. Regretting her diminished the affect she had on his life, the light and joy she brought and that was something not even death could force him on his knees to do.

Elizabeth drew out the soul in him, an element of him he never thought twice about speculating into existence. Honestly, he never wondered if he had one, never considered the thought either way, good or bad.

People called him a robot, a killing machine, and he had taken the terms, not complimentary, but they didn't cause him to lose any sleep.

But that life, before her, was not the same life as now. Neither was he the same person. Elizabeth was different as well. She was stronger, more capable, she didn't hide behind her shyness, and she was no longer handcuffed to what her parents or anyone else thought of her.

She was exactly the person he knew was peeking out under her wallflower reserve. Only so much more.

From the moment he had met her he had sized her up pretty well. At least he thought he had. She was an innocent, real easy on the eyes, but a naïve recluse who didn't know a thing about life or what made it worth living.

Like everything else about her, Elizabeth had quickly surprised him without even being aware she had changed his premature opinion. In every word, deed, the way she decided and tucked away her fear to do what was best…they all marked the reflections of the brave woman concealed from view.

She had taken care of him, hid him from her family, nurtured him back to health from his death bed….a total stranger who had done nothing but threaten and verbally scold her at every available opportunity.

They had come so far. And he couldn't be happier than he was right now in this moment with his arms protectively encased around her, the sheets tucked around them sloppily. She even made his dismal lifeless room beautiful. She brought light where none existed.

What scared him was later…when they woke up and had to deal with reality, the rest of the world who didn't want them together. When he had to fix the mess he had made with the business. Like Anthony.

Anthony Marcone needed to be dealt with but not in the same way as Sonny was.

More than anything he needed Elizabeth to trust him. He believed she did, but there were things about his business she couldn't know right now. He hated the thought of shutting her out especially after everything they had gone through to get here.

But until all his business was taken care of, he couldn't be entirely honest with her.

Her hips swayed restlessly over him, in slow entering motions that made his chin dig into her crown to stop from returning the illicit gesture. Blood pumped harshly into his groin and he instantly went iron hard inside her.

He gulped, muffling a curse into her soft curls, right as she swished her nose into his chest and yawned, stretching her arms out and bringing her breasts squished against him, the voluptuous mounds spilled over the sides of his chest.

She was not playing fair.

" Hey." She placed an open palm on the tan slope above his nipple, swept down into the curve under his arm pit and he tried to hold the down the shudder that raked through him but it was pointless to fight what she carelessly wove up to life.

Her fingers deftly followed the rigid muscle of his side, scooped in and over like she was following some invisible pattern.

Her hand stilled over his bullet wound and he felt when her heartbeat thumped out of rhythm. Her thumb swished delicately across the now healed area as if she was going to somehow reopen it and something in the way she tended so lovingly to the piece of scarred flesh made intensity double over inside him.

Looking down at her was not the smartest move. Just waking up, she was more tempting then sin; an innocent goddess, unconscious of her suggestive play with just one glimpse of her used swollen mouth or the tender flirtation of her smoldering eyes. Like Eve in the garden offering the apple.

He sat up a little, leaning more fully into the headboard and she followed, cradling herself in his lap. His reply came out a little stiffer than he had intended. " Hi."

She seemed to be oblivious to the fact that she was in his lap, legs wrapped around his torso with him still very much impacted in her.

She gave the massive waves of her hair a careless tousle. They spilled provocatively over her bare shoulders, some touching her breasts, some brushing her chin as she rubbed her eyes and gurgled groggily, " What time is it?"

Jason cleared his throat, felt the bob of his adam's apple wobble like his insides. " Past noon," his breathy whisper informed, eyeing the sweat in between the valley of her breasts and wanting badly to lick it up. " Go back to sleep."

Her arms looped over his shoulders, dangled in between his shoulder blades. " No. I have to be at work at four." The sleep in her eyes dissolved like morning dew, echoing vivid blue in her orbs as she leaned in close, invitation in her sparkle, but she stopped before touching him.

Little tease, he thought darkly.

One lip of hers rubbed lazily across one of his. He couldn't tell which lip as a hot knifing frisson braided down the center of him, hitting and rocking his shaft up with skin-breaking fierceness.

" Elizabeth." He growled, catching her bottom lip between his mouth and suckling it with attentive snuggled nips.

Her hips moved against his, the small swell of her stomach hitting his rock hard abs. The gyration was deep and slow, just the way their kisses were turning. His thumb found the sweet indent of her mouth and pulled at the corner, turning their kisses into desperate hungry imitations of their bodies' movements.

Her hair fell over his shoulder as their mouths widened and the kiss turned frantic and messy, famished. His hands came up, molded over her tits in a possessive squeeze that had the tops and sides of her breasts bursting out at the seams of his needy grip.

" Husband." She moaned against his mouth, her hip bone digging into his, the slap of their bodies smacking in a sound of obliterated yearning.

He felt like a junky.

The feel of her, the warm wet glove of her inside was like a fix to him and the need was so unquenchable, incurable, all his features strained red and taut under her at once.

Tightening his fingers around her, his thumbs brushed her pebbled nipples in short pressed in sweeps. " Say that again." He grounded against her mouth.

Her half-lidded stare was hardcore, heady, total x-rated intoxication. " No." Her body rode up and down his cock with exaggerated closeness that nestled him in her with no breathing room.

Her mouth dropped open against his when he returned the gesture, cupping her bottom with both hands and forcing her higher on him, impaling her at a more spine-tingling angle, her breasts bobbing back and forth in front of him like fleshy pendulums.

" Say it." He demanded with a sliver of cockiness, rotating his hips as he parted his legs and completely engulfed himself in her.

" O_h_…" Her head dropped back, she ran her hands through her hair, luxuriating in the feel which only drove him harder as he zealously pumped up in her with sleek deliberate smoothness, her clit brushing his foreskin "…g_od_!"

" Say it." He leaned in, his hands taking mouthfuls of breast and bringing them close to reach his welcoming mouth, tonguing her with brutal wet pinches, stroking over and over, penetrating the bud with plopping slurps than scraping his teeth down ever so lightly and her body implanted in his to the to very core. " Elizabeth."

" H_usssb_and." She cried and he used the hand at his side to massage her clit which was throbbing and slippery, quivering against his fingers from the bottled gust, ready to break.

He pushed his body against hers mercilessly, each wet pound of their bodies sending them crashing into each other. They bucked against one another like wild animals and her hands grabbed at the headboard behind Jason for some balance, but he wouldn't allow it.

Instead he forced her hands at her side, bending her away and causing her to lean backward from him. Her body easily flexed out, giving him more ample access as his fingers drove in her, the lips of her center vibrating like flashing heat against her.

And then she came, started moaning so hard and furious, the bones of her knees dug into his sides as he devoured the fatty part of her breast, just below her still aching red tip.

Her tremors subsided after several minutes and she leaned forward, but he wasn't paying attention. He was still very much entrapped on the creamy mounds in his hold, gripping them ardently, like it was the first time he had ever touched them.

Shit. He had to stop or he was going to make her come again.

And that couldn't happen. They needed to talk.

She licked her lips, her face drowsy, blotched red and she looked deliciously satiated and flushed….ripe like a goddamn peach.

He was watching her as he came up from sucking her, his stare predatory and unfed.

With a haphazard sweep, he tore his hands away and ran one through his hair, trying to sound as civil and normal as possible considering he very much wanted to throw her on her back again and fuck her until the mattress split in two.

" How did you sleep?" He asked detached, through hooded eyes.

" Good," Her fingers worked their way through the side of his hair, magically heavy caresses that burned under the skin and traveled south. "…I'm just a little…"

He searched her face and she smiled bashfully, one side of her mouth lifting under the dark glitter of her eyes. " Little…" His eyes squinted trying to follow.

She shrugged her milky shoulders at him, not really wanting to say it until he tugged her face closer with a wrap of hair around his finger. " I'm a little achy." She admitted, awkwardly, like it was some determent.

With nothing but the silence between them, he cupped her face, trapping her in his stare. " I...I'll go easier.. I'm sorry."

Suddenly he was the one turning red, gripping her love handles possessively before completely letting go and keeping them at his sides like there were invisible chains around them. " I…I just…I can't help...when I'm with you-"

" Hey." She brushed away the hair that fell over his forehead and his eyes closed at the gentle contact. " I want you too…I want it so much …my body hurts sometimes…"

He breathed out relieved, grinding down hard on his jaw. " I thought…" His eyes opened, inferno blue lighting him up like an avenging angel. " Sometimes…it's all I think about…" His eyes descended on her mouth, stayed planted desirously there and she licked her lips knowingly, his cock twitching to life, the nerves stroking up in agonizing measures as he watched, imprisoned.

She tried to make her breathing even out but it wouldn't work. " How did you sleep?"

" I couldn't sleep." He answered mechanically, still fixed on her mouth and the nibble her teeth played against the plump shiny flesh.

" Why…was I snoring?" She arched a brow, smiled devilishly with a chocolate indulgence that dripped over his skin.

His mouth followed her smile, but he couldn't restrain the strict hunger playing cruelly with him. " Yeah."

The realization made her erupt in bashful giggles, her head falling into his chest. Her shoulders shook, irrationally. " Oh Jason…I'm sorry."

"That's not why I couldn't sleep." He ran loose fingers through her hair easily and it shimmered like gold dust in his hand. He ate up the feel, the texture. " I can't sleep with you touching me," he whispered like the act hurt and she stopped laughing, "…knowing you're near me…I can't."

His voice resonated so serious, like he had just exposed a flaw, opened up a vein, her head came up and she couldn't mistake the intense war coming to life in his rigid complexion. " Maybe…I mean… we could sleep in separate bedrooms…if that's what you want..."

His gaze turned over like iced blue marbles, darting between her eyes with plunging resolve. " Over my dead body."

She bit into her lip, this time unconscious and wary of the sudden shift between them. The energy around them swelled, escalated high like at the edge of a drop on a rollercoaster. She unstradled herself , freeing his still hard member from inside her. " I should probably…I'm going to go take a showe-"

" Wait." His hand wrapped around her wrist but he didn't push her closer. " I wanted…I need to talk to you."

She didn't fight him, but she did nudge her wrist out of his grasp and he unwillingly let her. " Okay."

Using the sheet that was draped over his legs she covered her nakedness, making him frown instantly and noticeably, but he didn't show it, sighing noiselessly into his fist as she faced him.

He didn't waste time, didn't let her very presence, a chronic distraction, swerve his motive. " Last night…at the club I-I shouldn't have acted like I did. It was wrong."

" Jason…no-"

" I was wrong, Elizabeth." The volume of his arresting stare spiked, turned the atmosphere stuffy. He didn't breathe, like he was waiting at the edge of his reason for her to understand and forgive him.

" Jason…" Her hand lifted only to fall between them. " You're not the reason I left."

His eyes darkened skeptically and he turned away from her, but she was fast to his movements, cupping his chin and brining him back to where she was.

" You were part of it, but everything was just coming down on me…." Her hand clutched at the sheet wrapped chaotically around her. She brought it higher up. " Seeing my family, talking to Anthony-"

" What happened?" He whispered with disturbing coolness as he looked at her gathered hands and inwardly dreaded the answer.

" Well, my parents …they want nothing to do with me." She nodded as if in that one statement should clarify their unforgivable behavior. Her words were shakier as she fought to continue and remain unemotional. " They said that as long as I was with you…I wasn't ….they didn't want to see me."

Staying silent but reverently concentrated on her, his hand came from his side, trailed up her leg to her lower back with a tentative slowness that awaited rejection. When she didn't push him away his fingers pressed deeper into her, compelling her closer and she was instantly back in the cradle of his lap; intimately nuzzled by the warm comforting solidity of his body.

His open hand stayed there, his fingers whooshed to and fro from their cemented spot, saying nothing and doing everything she silently needed and he instinctually read like they were one minded

"When I saw you with Charlotte it…it made me mad but talking to Anthony just-"

" Tell me what he said." He cut through, unable to block the fast anger that rose without warning.

" Its more what he didn't say." She eyed him, rubbing her lids with quick rashness as if they itched. When she stopped she looked spent and ready to fall over with years of slumber waiting for her. "He kept telling me to make up my mind and how I have you all tangled up. He mentioned me and the baby. He said…" She hesitated as she thought about how to phrase her words.

" Elizabeth."

Jason sounded at the rope's end of his patience. She knew it wasn't because of her, but his temper nonetheless frightened her immobile sometimes. Coaxing his rage from its hiding spot was too easy and it stoked higher and faster than any thing she had ever witnessed.

Being on the receiving end was not a position any sane person would willing volunteer to be in. " He said it would be unfortunate if anything was to happen to me or our child because… because of you."

" Really." The tight clasp of his mouth and the startling ebony that dilated in his eyes were the only signs of his undoing. Otherwise he was morbidly still under her, like living, breathing granite.

She knew better though, knew with great understanding that he was barely containing the fury that threatened to rupture like an overflowing geyser. " Jason…please don't …don't be mad."

" I'll deal with it."

She sought for a sign, some part of him that wasn't grappling to leash in his temper. Her head leaned to the side, but he was closed off from where she was. " What does that mean?"

The gentle strum of his thumb rubbing in the crease of her thigh completely contradicted the stoned face, impenetrable wall he had become. " It means I'll deal with it Elizabeth." He muttered gravelly, looking straight, over the top of her head.

" Like you dealt with Sonny."

His name descended between them and the tension seemed to vacuum up the quiet. He stiffened uncomfortably, shifted her with her hips, bringing her closer, but for some reason she felt farther away. He still wasn't looking at her when he let out in stormy wake, " Sonny was different."

" Sonny was your friend," she announced with a little less tentativeness, wanting to reach him and feeling millenniums away, "Wasn't he?"

" He was." Jason cleared the foggy residue in his throat, stroked her with a thirsty squeeze like he missed touching her. " Until he crossed the line."

Oddly, she felt like she was toying with danger. She hated when he shut down like this. He was unapproachable and the distance was greater than bearable to her.

" Do you miss him?" She asked with mild inquisitiveness. She kept herself from touching him even though it was the one thing she consistently wanted to do. " I mean doesn't it bother you?"

" No."

His answer came out so harsh and fast she could only nod, more perplexed than she could formulate. " Oh."

His sigh was aggravated, the corner of his eyes pinched tight as he ran a hand over his brow than cradled her body closer, finally placing his gaze on her, which was muddled and wrecked with indecision. " He changed a lot and in the last few months he wasn't the person I knew…he wasn't the man I had known all the years."

She gave into the urge, her fingers playing soothingly through the hair above his ear. " Yeah, but still, you had to feel something. He was your friend. He was your partner….you can't tell me that doesn't bother you ever?"

The quick scrape of his teeth against his mouth complimented his dark veiled expression, casting him in imperceptible shadow.

" Nothing really bothers me." He waited, fixed for her reaction, bright blue grooved in his stare." Until you. You changed me."

"I don't even remember who I was before I met you." Her low whisper breezed across his face, stirred the hairs sloppy mangled over his forehead.

" I need you to trust me. Okay?" He heaved out a bit reckless, rendering him empty, as if the thought that she couldn't trust him would be unimaginably torturous to him.

" I do." She immediately affirmed.

He swallowed, lifting one hand to her chin and catching it between his fingers. " Now more than ever."

" Why?"

" Anthony…he needs to be dealt with and you can't know what's going on or what I have to do."

She shook her head, already getting lost in the possibilities her fear supplied to easily. " I don't want you getting hurt."

" I won't." He murmured, reading her mind, drawing her face to his.

Her nails grazed over his hair, reaching the skin and his breathing roused shakily. " Promise me you'll be safe."

" Elizabeth-"

" Promise me." She tugged on the short golden strands.

" Only… if you promise…" He trailed a hand down her throat and he knew if he tried his fingers could easily meet around the tender width of her elegant neck. She was so small. "… to be here, in bed tonight when I get home."

With one finger he slipped down the center of her chest, each slow descent blotting out his stare like the inside of a cavern, muting his every emotion out but his craving for her.

Her reddened lips were still bruised from his kisses when she rubbed them languorously over his. " That's something I can do…" She tilted her head until her nose nuzzled his cheek, small puckered kisses grabbing and falling between them. The pace turned crazed fast, but she was the one to pull away, knowing where this would easily lead if they both let it. " I'm going to go take a shower."

She started to break away from him and he hated the draining loss his body at once discovered. " Don't be long." He advised as he unabashedly appraised her.

His glare crystallized, forming dark lustful clusters of appreciation, watching as she left, very naked, her backside dancing in a sexy wiggle that kicked and pawed for him to sneak up behind her.

But then the phone rang at his side, on the bed stand and he picked it up, still looking at the entrance where she left. " Yeah."

" Jason, its Max."

" Did you get it?" He asked, unfazed and wanting to get to the point.

" Yeah."

" Two of them?" He heard her shower turn on, his attention went back on the doorway.

" Just like you said." Max confirmed easily.

" Good. Then every things set." Jason responded, not fighting the detour his distraction led him down. " Thanks Max."

He hung up, a vivid picture of glistening wet skin, vanilla cream and lickable, brightened in his mind; knowing she tasted even better than she looked…and her smell, his eyes closed at the remembering poignant scent, was unlike any fragrance he had ever encountered. Sweet, delicious, sitting on his brain like a goddamn burning lump.

He glanced back at the bedroom clock on the night stand.

Yeah… he had time.

* * *

This was the last place he wanted to be right now.

Pouring over numbers, clicking a temperamental calculator that only worked when it wanted to, and sitting in the same booth he had been in last night with Elizabeth.

The club was closed, thank the heavens for small favors, so he had the whole room to himself. The kitchen staff was getting ready for tonight and so they made him a thick turkey swiss sandwich that remained half eaten next to the fresh new Corona the bartender had just brought him.

He usually liked this part of the job, working the numbers, calculating the clubs gains and losses, making sure Benny did the numbers right. It was a tedious annoyance, but he was gifted with being quick with math and for some peculiar oddity that he would never understand, the work didn't stress him.

If anything it relaxed him, forced his head to clear and just carry numbers, move digits around and so on. But right now, he was anything but relaxed. He was so far gone from being carefree or happy, he was sure his skin would jump off his bones at any second.

Elizabeth was the biggest reason.

Wanting her and finally having her were two very separate things. Two very separate realities.

He never knew life could be like this, this way, this…happy. And that scared him. Wanting something and finally getting it, knowing he had a chance at losing it scared him shitless.

People risked themselves all the time for love and he never understood the rush it gave someone when there were bigger and more challenging experiences out there to face, but he, again, was wrong.

Love was the biggest risk of all.

It demanded of all you, made you give yourself until you were dried down to nothing but an aching waif of balled up pain.

He could handle that. Knowing she loved him, wanted a life with him, he could handle whatever life threw at them.

It was the life outside of them that awoke and threatened something inside him.

This was not what he wanted for Elizabeth or their baby for the rest of their lives.

This club, the constant time spent away, the secrets that built like fortresses around a relationship till there was nothing left but resentment and hurt feelings.

None of that life was deserving enough for her.

He wanted to give her the very best, make the most of this too short life. He was determined, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what he was going to do was the only right way.

He just hoped that Elizabeth loved him enough to follow where he led. He prayed that she had faith to believe in him when all was said and done.

He hoped.

" Mr. Morgan. I'm glad you're here. We need to talk."

Jason barely glanced up to acknowledge Mr. Marcone's unannounced presence in the empty, closed establishment. He didn't need a reason to be here, being a partner and all, but still Jason found the intrusion tiresome when he was almost finished and was about to go home.

" Mr. Marcone…what can I do for you?" He delivered a courteous smile, glimpsed up and back in one swooped motion that exhibited his lack of enthusiasm in the impending conversation. Jason didn't stop scribbling.

" You dress this way at the club?"

Clearly Anthony was in no mood to load on the charm. His voice was clipped, unmannered and the apparent disapproving scowl on his face would have made any man in his organization blush and scurry for cover.

Jason wasn't one of those men. Without breaking stride from what he was doing, he carried the last number over the finishing column, shut the calculator off that he never ended up needing and leaned back into the seat of the booth.

He was wearing a faded plain gray t -shirt, his jeans were worn from continued use. If he glanced down he believed there would be a slight hole at the knee, but he refused to look. He didn't care or need to explain himself because it was none of Anthony's or anyone else's goddamn business what he wore.

" The club's closed." Jason responded in wry amusement, brittle enough to crack through a tree stump.

From where he was standing and from the way Anthony was peering repugnantly down at him, it would seem Jason had committed some unthinkable act and gone stark raving mad.

His answer didn't suffice and Anthony sat down in his high priced attire, looking at the furniture as if it would bite him…or dirty his wardrobe. Either possibility a frightening prospect.

" We need to talk."

Jason's shoulder lifted casually, doing some of his own personal review. " About?"

Gone was the formidable mask and oiled phrases that seeped from the man in front of him like gas leakage. He was displeased about something and Jason didn't need several guesses to know he was here to ask him to fix it.

" Last night did not go over well with the other men. You left without even saying goodbye Jason." The simmered outrage in his declare exemplified his disbelief. Jason guessed he was supposed to already know the reason for Anthony's rare visit.

Jason toyed with the pencil in his hand, sliding his fingers down the length than flipping it back up to the do the same again. " I had other things to attend to. Important matters."

" Nothing is more important that your time here."

" I beg to differ." He voiced in unperplexed decision.

" Like?"

Jason snickered, flinging the pencil away and folding his hands together as he leaned over the small expensive table and gave his partner a dead on stare. " Like none of your goddamn business."

Playing with his maroon silk tie, Anthony ventured the man with a callous- edged snuff of his own, placing his hands in his lap, looking like he was rethinking his strategy. " You have to make this right…at dinner tonight."

" Excuse me?" Jason's eyebrow quirked up bemused.

" Tonight…you will have dinner with me and the other bosses here. I want them to see you are devoted to this, that you are committed, Jason. They need to know their money is being invested safely and securely in someone wholly involved."

" I do my job…I've done it right." Jason spit out, falling back into the chair with an agitated thud. " My life outside of this is nobody's fucking business-"

Anthony laughed and Jason knew it was genuine, totally patronizing, belittling him with the glowering stare he cast as he straightened and stood. " Jason, …" he shook his head,

" Jason…when are you going to learn…your life _is_ this business. You'll fair well to remember that."

He turned to the main entrance and Jason's face remained rooted to where he sat, brewing with a rage he fumbled to suppress.

At the last second Mr. Marcone faced him again, his nose high in the air, his tone laced with a precautionary heed. " And do make sure your lovely new wife is in attendance. Her presence was specifically requested. Remember, Jason, we don't want to upset anyone…eight o'clock sharp."

And Anthony left, taking with him the very senses that monitored Jason's thin and tattered control.

* * *

Elizabeth heard her cell phone ringing from underneath the front counter and immediately dashed around the wood barrier, making her new display of fantasy books fall over like dominos.

" Hello." She answered in a singsong voice, disgustingly cheery and feeling odd because she was so not the cheery type. She just couldn't help herself. She had to be making people nauseous.

" Hey."

And there was the reason why. Jason. Just hearing his voice made her drunk inside, made the hair all over her body stand up straight, rise over in goose bumps. " Hi."

" You almost done with your shift?"

She caught the strained edge of his voice and frowned into the mouthpiece. " What's the matter?"

" Nothing." He dismissed too easily, sounding wound up and restless. " I need you to be at the club tonight. At eight."

" The club?" She was sure she had heard him wrong. A customer came over to pay for her three books and Elizabeth trapped the phone in the crook of her neck. " Jason, I'm working."

" You need to get out of it. I need you here."

She didn't particularly like the inflexible way he _didn't_ request her attendance. " I'm sorry…I can't." She handed the elderly lady her fifty seven cents of change and smiled brightly, " Have a great day."

" Elizabeth, I'm not asking. I need you here. Eight, no later."

Biting down on the urge to raise her voice and very loudly, Elizabeth whispered furiously instead, turning her back halfway from the public open floor. " Armen needs me. I'm not leaving him."

" Elizabeth."

" Jason." She mimicked, feeling perfectly justified in her annoyance and the childish antiques she stooped to get under his skin.

" Eight o'clock."

" No, Jason, I can't-"

" Eight o clock," he pronounced obnoxiously slow. " I mean it. No later."

And he hung up before she could explain herself, leaving her eyes snapped open and speechless as the next customer arrived for purchasing.

Son of a bitch.

Elizabeth turned," How are you today?" She smiled even wider, wondering where her newfound surge of cheer had sprung from.

The preteen wearing a belly ring and too many layers of eyeliner mumbled back in a martyring voice like it pained her to reciprocate politely. " Good and you?"

" I'm great, thanks." She grinned, her cheeks warming as anger mingled with purpose spewed inside her.

He wanted to be the big bad wolf out there, in his work, she wouldn't stop him, but as far as she was concerned that did not include their relationship.

Oh, she'd be there tonight.

With bells on.


	50. Chapter 50

_There is no instinct like that of the heart. Lord Byron_

What was it about love that made a person so deeply embroiled in crazy seeing straight became an issue, thinking from minute to minute a choring process?

As far as Jason was concerned love was a sadistic bipolar bitch with way too much free time on its hands.

He was doing this all wrong.

And the very fact that he was conscious of his mounting shortcomings just made it worse because he couldn't seem to help himself.

One thing Jason Morgan could never be accused of was being inexperienced, a beginner at anything. He had seen and done it all.

But being in love was a first for him. And he wasn't quite sure what the proper way to act was. He was…_him_, an uncomplicated, to the point, no questions asked, straight forward kinda guy.

He never realized that when you loved someone what they wanted mattered more than anything. Loving someone changed the rules of your heart, the routine wants of your mind. Jason was having a hard time getting used to all the blurry confusion between his instinctual reflexes and his spontaneous and overflowing need for Elizabeth and just her.

He was adjusting, trying on the new skin his soul and heart were having trouble fitting into.

Elizabeth challenged him. He loved that about her, her stubbornness and determination drove him up the highest skyscraper in New York but he loved her, all of her.

Right now, they both were in this perpetual state of configuration, her to his life and him…to her, loving her and how that permanently altered him each and every moment that love grew bigger than even his heart could contain.

Bottom line, he shouldn't have demanded she be there. He asked…he think he asked anyway, but Anthony's words kept playing over and over in his head like a stuck record needle and the more he thought about the danger underlying his transparent cordiality, the more riled Jason's anger became.

Lately, he was always angry…or aroused; angry because it was his first impulse when threatened. Time was ticking and he was slowly being backed into a corner.

His plan had to work or he was doomed.

Aroused- because of her.

And as much as he'd love to indulge, right now, in any fantasy that involved Elizabeth, he needed to able to stand up and not look ridiculous in front of the three partners and their wives who were presently dinning over cocktails with him.

Unfortunately, he didn't have time to linger on such appetizing ideas.

Taking another swig of his Corona, he hung the bottle loosely between his fingers and nonchalantly glanced down at his watch.

7:50.

Ten minutes.

She was going to be here. He knew her.

His leg rattled under the table, only for a second before he realized he was making noise. He had forgotten why he agreed to purchase the damn expensive useless pieces of furniture. The tables were too damn short and his legs were too damn long and every single time he sat down he felt like an ogre sitting at a preschool dining set.

Shit. Why the fuck did he hang up?

The black suit he was wearing had to have shrunken; the fabric creaked against him like the threads were pulling for release. The food or whatever passed as edible here was tasteless on his tongue and he was sweating like a damn hippopotamus laying in the Sahara.

The VIP room was too small right now for his mood, like a cardboard box; air tight with no holes to breathe. He had to the get the hell out of here, take a walk, wait for Elizabeth downstairs. Or maybe he'd call her and see if she was okay, apologize.

" Mr. Morgan, we'd like to talk a little business with you before dinner. If that's okay?"

As if on cue, all three wives excused themselves for a visit to the powder room.

Anthony, sitting in the center of the black cozy booth, watched satisfyingly as the women left, his smile perfectly etched across his face like it was carved there, his teeth gleaming like an ad for toothpaste.

The other men, Prozzi and Verscui, were both middle age men who also had worked with Sonny closely, had accepted his departure without retribution or cause to complain.

They all preferred business done the old way and that was the one common thread their shared partnership was built on.

Sonny taught Jason everything he needed to know, the way of holding a family separate right below business, leaving personal baggage at a distance, and never messing with your own merchandise. Always stay guarded against too much ostentatious living and remember that even though cops were dumb, no one should return the favor by being just as ignorant.

Their activities, their way of living, may have been considered illegal, but even their criminal operations had there standards. Anthony and the rest of the men's motto was- all in moderation. Do business, but never ask for attention unwanted. Today gangsters were cowboys, running around exploiting their riches, practically outlining the bull's eye for any potential enemy.

This organization would never run that way. Not under Anthony's thumb, Jason's or any other men. It was the one thing they were all in one accord about.

Prozzi and Verscui sat opposite Jason, on their fourth vodka and tonics and seemingly content. Neither revealed dissatisfaction of any kind, their masks of tranquility perfectly positioned, just as Jason.

On his left, Anthony trailed a manicured hand over his violet tie, circled his drink around with his dainty red straw and his two carat pinkie ring winked mockingly at Jason.

Licking his wrinkled lips, Mr. Marcone eyed Jason as he indelicately braved for an opening. " You're wife's behavior has become unacceptable, Mr. Morgan. It's something all us have discussed and believe needs to be dealt with."

Verscui, a round fellow who looked more like a shabby door to door salesman than a crook, wiped his perspired forehead and took the last sip of his drink. " She's very young Jason. Maybe too young for this life." He latched his stubby fingers around the short clear glass. " She doesn't seem to understand how things work around here…that might be a problem that will bleed on to the rest of us and we cant have that."

Prozzi, short and thin, glanced at Jason with a hint of trepidation in his eyes than nodded with enthusiastic shakes of his head. " We understand that she is having your child and that you must care for her a great deal, but there are other ways to handle this than have her live with you. There are other arrangements…you could send her away, give her some money to start over and you could see her whenever you want."

Jason remained silent and unmoving in his seat, an inanimate object like the light fixture hanging above them rather than a living human being. No emotion crossed his face, good or bad. Not even a flash of anger. His mouth didn't even open to argue their outrageous suggestions. " That's not going to happen."

" We'll something must change." Anthony finally piped up, flexing his knuckles and lowering them comfortably into his lap as he leaned into his seat and appeared very complacent in his state. " It's obvious she has a very strong hold over you and that is understandable considering your situation, but we believe it is interfering with your daily contribution in your work."

The density anger shrouded over his view of the three men was not at all evident to any of them as Jason continued, impermeably resolute. " We were just married. Time and patience will prove that I am just as devoted to my work as I am to my wife and child."

" We have waited," Verscui exclaimed, nodding for the waiter to come and fill his empty glass. " Even before Elizabeth came into your life you hadn't been the same. It's only gotten worse. Jason, none of us want to be here doing this-"

" Then don't."

" But our hands are tied. You took over for Sonny and none of us retaliated because we understood why you did it. We knew it wasn't a play for power. It was because it needed to be done. If you didn't get rid of him, one of us would have."

Prozzi, following Verscui's thoughts from where he had paused, proceeded. " Sonny Corinthos was a great man and even though I didn't work with him as long as the rest of you, he, in his time, was an exceptional leader. He built the well known rep of this organization. He made it flourish, but a lot changed and quickly. He became instable and unreliable. He mixed business with pleasure and became too emotional. We see that happening to you Jason. And if Sonny Corinthos, who built this empire with his own bare hands, could be eliminated, remember no one, _no one_ Jason, is indisposable."

Face ashen, Jason's mouth tightened and frowned, his hand clamping around the cool glass of his beer bottle as he coolly appraised all three men before fixing his glare on Anthony. " Get to the point. My wife will be arriving soon and I don't want her upset."

Anthony played the mediator well. He played many various roles rather well considering he was also the instigator behind all this. That Jason did not doubt. " The point is if you can't control your wife, we will. If this is too much for you maybe we can arrange a short leave of absence, get your head on straight. Like a vacation or something…"

Yeah and the only piece of luggage he would need is a tailor made body bag with his name on it.

Anthony continued, his preying eyes, hawk-like. " I wouldn't want to have to pay Elizabeth another visit at her bookstore. Although she is a pleasant young lady, I don't think our conversing would go over as amicably as it did last time."

There was no indication that Jason had even heard him except for the leap of his jaw muscle and sharp flare in his eyes.

No one said anything and the quiet that cloaked around them was louder than any threat or word Jason could vow with the homicidal rage thrashing murderously through him.

" Good, our lovely wives are finally back to join us."

Each woman took their rightful spot next to their husband. Their immoderate makeup, garish jewelry, sunless tanned faces and lack of proper attire making each one of them stand out like a decorative ornament hanging on the elbow of their very proud owner.

He failed to work the clenching bunch of muscles that balled through his entire body. He resisted the berserk need to break something and settled for another glance down at his watch. He stiffened as he squinted at the two silver hands. 8:05.

Fuck.

" Oh look…," Anthony stood, beaming like a surrogate parent, his skin stretching over his smile in well rehearsed pride, "…Elizabeth made it. Jason, aren't you going to greet your pretty wife?"

Jason turned in his seat as Elizabeth entered the small smoky room. His slit eyes widened as he scanned her head to toe, the scowl on his face deepened, darkening like a plagued midnight.

* * *

It was shocking that one piece of fabric, one dress, could wield so much magic, so much unreal self confidence.

Her smoky eyes drafted casually over the quaint lavish room, never landing on any one particular guest, especially her husband. Feeling like a mere spectator amongst their unhindered responses she wondered nervously how one silk dress could initiate so many different reactions.

This was so unlike her.

She knew it. She was pretty sure every one in the room knew it as well.

If she was a betting woman she would gamble her college savings that Jason was wordlessly blowing up and about to pop like an over inflated balloon. He was somewhere to her left, but she reminded herself to purposely ignore him and smile charmingly at the small intimate gathering of people who all held varied expressions of pleasure and disapproval.

From the wide eyes and turned down mouths of the surrounding females one would conclude Elizabeth was walking around butt naked. Although, the saleslady was pretty accurate about, silk, the fabric was so light, she did feel a tiny smidgen bare and naughty. But that just made the thrill of her endeavor even more intensifying.

Wrapped in the strapless dress the color of blood, hair wavy and loosely gathered up with strands falling behind her ears and some over her back, her lips the same exact color as her dress and shoes, for the first time in her very short life, Elizabeth felt absolutely scandalous.

Every time she moved she felt her femininity rocket to launch, take over and depress whatever doubts she had.

She wasn't here to play games. All of what she was doing wasn't about that.

If Jason wanted a wife who mutely nodded and obeyed when called he had to be taught a very firm unforgettable lesson. She would play the attentive wife because, well, she loved him, but that didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun in the process.

She may not have known Jason for very long, but she wasn't far off in assuming the man was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted, and that most of female population he had run into in the past would have probably fallen over in a dead faint to fulfill his every wish.

She was not one of those women.

And that was what tonight was about.

She just hoped she had the chops to pull it off without turning tail and running.

After all she wasn't exactly a pro at playing the seductive temptress.

" Mrs. Morgan…" Anthony shook his head and the rest of the men stood, clearing their throats and looking a bit uncomfortable, "You look absolutely stunning, my dear." One of the wives, who peculiarly resembled Liza Minnelli, hit her husband with her handbag when his bark brown eyes dropped to Elizabeth's ample bosom

Anthony came over to where she had stopped, right in front of the small curved table. Leaning down he placed a chaste kiss on both her rosy cheeks. " You light up the room." He appeared to have meant it to with the way his Cheshire cat smile grew, but by now Elizabeth knew better. He turned as if forgetting something. " I'm sure your husband would more than agree with me."

When Jason stood, for some odd reason, he looked bigger than usual. Maybe it was Elizabeth's fear of his response or the dark excitement of not knowing how he was going to react, but from where she was, about a foot away, he looked as tall and thick as an oak tree.

He was mad.

Any half-minded idiot could see the brilliant fury galloping in him, but it was hard to stay focused on such a minor annoyance when he was also looking hot as hell. All black, hair spiked and gelled, but still with his signature careless tousle, skin swarthier than usual against the black suit. He was sin incarnate.

A tinge of fright and delight kicked inside her.

Slowly he came to stand next to her, never disconnecting his electric blue eyes which were partially hooded away from her.

She couldn't tell from his impervious stare if he was going to gobble her up or choke her down to the floor, but her train of thinking came to an abrupt halt when he lowered himself to the shell of her ear and the scrape of his unshaven cheek brushed in aching friction against her petal soft skin. The tips of his lips touched her as he spoke, drinking her in as he whispered in stormy disturbance, " You look delectable, Elizabeth."

She trembled, not meaning to, not being able to hide the raw deliverance her body echoed from his close proximity. His large male form breathing raspy over her made it beyond difficult to decipher just from his tone if he was infuriated with her or not, but she did know the compliment was meant for her ears only.

When he pulled only inches away with Anthony standing between them and watching, Jason smiled tightly down into her face and took her hand into his with a tender possessive grasp that branded her his. " Anthony was right. You light up the room."

Anthony's hands clapped together in agreement, patting Jason's shoulder hardily, his act more convincing than any one person had given him credit for. " Please sit, you two. You must be hungry and we have so much to talk about."

They most certainly did.

Jason swallowed; his mouth suddenly parched dry like the desert and he licked his lips, his unexpressed features devouring his wife's profile in paralyzing doses.

But talk would come later, when he got himself alone with her.

* * *

Jason was not a talker.

He was a man of few words and much action. Even action was sometimes unnecessary for him when in one stare or gesture he commanded much of the room around him.

But his silence now was so frighteningly deathlike Elizabeth had to stop from peering over at him every few seconds to relieve herself that he was breathing.

He kept a presentable distance from her, nothing noteworthy, but his one hand did lay hanging over the top of the back of her seat and every once in a while his fingers would stray and brush her shoulder when she made an unconscious move towards him. She was certain the contact was accidental because every time it happened he seemed to expand the space between them more but never fully break from her.

He didn't look at her either. In fact, Elizabeth could have sworn he hadn't planted a glance in her direction since his supposed compliment when she had arrived.

Okay, so he was really mad.

She was five minutes late, wearing a dress that was slightly inappropriate in her pregnant condition and treating her new husband with utter aloofness. She admitted that this wasn't one of her more brighter moments, but love never did run on sensibility. Besides, when she glanced at the women adjoining her, she resembled a prudish nun compared to their low cut evening wear and gaudy diamonds.

It wasn't like she had a plan. She just wanted to ruffle some of his steel feathers, stir some of that temper of his, let him stew in his chauvinistic juices for a few hours until he took her and her job seriously. And when she had about run out of patience she would break the silence and they would actually converse like two mild mannered adults.

Yeah, right.

Taking a sip of her club soda with lime, she wet her lips as a nervous shudder lazily crawled down her spine like the scurry of crisp leaves. And then she realized it was the heavy dent of Jason's weathered fingers.

His baritone voice murmured into her ear. " Mr. Marcone was asking you a question."

She heard him inhale, breathing in her scent with a hungered intake the sounded ready to feed, causing her breasts to tingle hotly. " I'm sorry, Marcone," she blushed and hoped it wasn't as noticeable with the color of the dress she was wearing, " You were saying?"

His smile radiated patience and understanding as he cut his rare filet mignon with easy strokes. " I was just wondering how you enjoy working at the bookstore?"

For the first time all night her smile came effortlessly and she didn't feel like she was on display, playing a part. " I love it. I've always been a big reader so this a dream experience for me."

"Hm." Anthony thoughtfully examined his plate. " And you consider that a lucrative way to spend the rest of you life?"

Elizabeth glanced very quickly at Jason who was glaring with obvious disgruntlement at Mr. Marcone. " I'm not quite sure yet. I haven't really thought that far. I'm still thinking about going back to college."

The word college seemed to trigger Jason's attention. He shot around to her, for the first time in hours, the white of his eyes blaring out over his startled blue irises.

She only staggered for a second, taking another sip of her drink as the table fell somberly into silence again and all three men eyed one another, speaking a silent language that Elizabeth didn't care to read.

Wiping the corner's of his mouth with his linen napkin, Anthony's premeditated stare danced between Jason and Elizabeth. " Perhaps your time would be better served at home, taking care of yourself and your expected one."

The pressure could not have been greater or more trapping if she was attempting to balance the weight of a roman coliseum on her head. " I like working." She stated simply, lancing a ravioli with her fork and lifting it to her mouth.

That must have been the wrong answer because Anthony's eyes went back to Jason and the corners of his wrinkled mouth tightened ten fold. " I see." He let out as if he had come to some foreknown conclusion he had been searching years for.

All three of the elderly sophisticated women stared her down, eyeing her contemptuously and suddenly Elizabeth felt ages younger and years out of their league. She didn't fit in and she was saying and doing everything wrong.

Her dress wasn't magic, it was a goddamn disguise. A very desperate attempt to be someone she wasn't, misleading people to believe she was something she most definitely could never be.

She wanted to go home.

Not at the penthouse…but home.

But for her, Jason was home.

Her home.

It no longer was a place for her anymore, it was him. Just being with him gave her the kind of peace and safety she had always been searching for. Wherever he was that was where she needed to go to be okay.

But he was probably so mad at her right now, he didn't want to comfort or understand her. She was ruining this for him.

This life, right here in this meeting and show of words, the way they talked with one another, felt so far away from who she was.

Who Jason was.

But, he, on the hand, was doing swimmingly.

He kept a low profile, said the right things when asked, and didn't speak unless spoken too. He must have had some secret guidebook and forgotten to hand her a copy because right now she was at a loss, drowning and in desperate search of a lifesaver.

" It's getting late."

Jason announced with a cutting blandness at her side, dropping his napkin in his barely eaten plate. He didn't turn toward her but his fingers cupped around her side, under her arm.

She didn't realize there were tears in her eyes until she glanced up at him and he squeezed her lovingly, his eyes flinging daggers at Anthony who was looking around the table as he proclaimed incredulously, " We haven't even had dessert yet Jason. Please, some custard pie. They make it famously here."

Elizabeth just shook her head sheepishly at him, falling deeper into Jason's strong grip around her.

" My wife has had a long day, Mr. Marcone. I'm sure you understand." His voice resonated in a contorting mix of dark emotions she was too scared to guess at.

" Of course." Anthony nodded sympathetically, rising with the rest of the table; his knowing eyes still deceptively planning. " Please, in your condition, rest comes first."

They said their goodbyes to everyone and the rest of the guests returned their best wishes with just as much artificalness as plastic and warmth as a winter in the Antarctic.

Jason guided Elizabeth with his hand and when he felt her shake he couldn't shelter the curse that fell from his mouth. His fingers dug dipper into her side, fixed protectively around her like a warm impenetrable shield.

At the entrance to the room Anthony wished them well and Jason's head slightly twisted to meet him, his stare a solid ice blue wall of enragement. Anthony's only answer was a sly smile. " Remember what we talked about Jason. If you don't come to an understanding, we will be happy to help you."

* * *

The quiet was starting to get to her.

She didn't think he was purposefully trying to hurt her after all this was how Jason dealt with being upset or angry. When he was unprepared with how to handle the unexpected or whatever other emotions he didn't want to feel, Jason's one and only way was shutting down. He became this unapproachable lifeless statute that no one could reach without having the patience of a saint or…if they loved him.

However mad she was at him which felt ions ago, that had dissolved; especially after being forced to socialize with Anthony and the rest of those men.

Most of all, she didn't want them to go to bed like this. They were finally together, they had finally admitted their feelings…everything else seemed too trivial compared to that break through.

She turned from the kitchen sink, still in her dress minus the impractical shoes. Jason's back was to her, standing over the counter near the entrance. He was leafing through some supposed important paperwork. He hadn't attempted to speak to her or make any acknowledgement that she was in the room with him since they had left the club two hours ago.

She gave him his time, his space, was planning on waiting it out, but the bigger part of her needed to know he was okay.

Coming to stand right beside him, her elbow bumped his softly as she leaned close to his shoulder. " Hey."

Her only reply was another turn of a page. At this point, she was fast coming to the conclusion that not even a nuclear explosion could render a flex of his brow. " You're mad at me." She brushed her nose against his bicep. " Jason." Her soothing tone danced and fell between them as if unheard.

" I'm not." His dry reply was barely audible to her and she was standing within touching distance. He closed the folder of stacked papers and she watched, partly wondering and partly puzzled if maybe she was wrong about what he was so upset over.

He stepped away from her, plopped the papers on the counter and headed out the entrance.

" You're lying." She accused with the bit of leftover resentment she had inside her.

He sighed, not facing her. " Don't Elizabeth." She could picture his stoned face, chiseled in a fury that rode him to unleash. " I'm not in the mood."

The few small footsteps she made towards him were quiet, but she didn't dare come close like before. She didn't think he wanted that right now. " I know you're upset and maybe…maybe I did everything wrong. I said the wrong things…I didn't act like the adoring fifties wife-"

" It doesn't matter."

She really hated it when he said that. " Yes it does. Stop acting this way."

" What way?" He edged out, sounding worn from the day.

Her fingers slipped over the ledge of the counter. Maybe talking about this now was not the best idea. Her feelings slipped out before she could check them, but she was swiftly coming to the realization that she always ended up doing that with him.

" Like you don't care."

That spurred him to life. He whipped around lightning fast, but stayed rooted to where he was standing, heaving and breathing in slow staggering breaths. She gazed without being able to look away at the blistering shredding shimmers of blue in his eyes.

" I do care," he fumed in a whisper that tore from his throat, "…I care too much….but there are things going on here that you don't know about right now."

The throb in his voice overshadowed any temporary fear she might have felt and she tentatively walked up to him, leaning her body against the same counter as him, but on the other side. She peered up, her doe eyes open and approachable. He was looking at her as well, dark and hard. " Tell me."

His hand came up, shadowing his eyes with one hand as he kneaded the taut flesh there with each dig of his fingertips and advertently covering his expression. . " I can't …you can't know."

" But-"

" I told you this was my life." His hand fell away just as fast, lasering his eyes down into her, each word a rip from his gut. " This is who I am, this is what I do. You can't know. That's the end of it."

Something about the finality in his statement provoked her temper from its resting place. " So that's how this is going to be. You bark an order and I'm supposed to fall in line like a good little solider."

" You have to trust me."

" You have to start opening up to me." She countered, unsure if she was on the verge of tears or more rage than she could stomach. " We're in this together, remember? How the hell am I supposed to understand if you don't tell me…"

Rigid, inflexibly hooking her with his blue steel stare, he muttered, resounding pained and loathsome. "This is how my life works. I can't change that."

" And I don't fit in it right?" She moved to go around him, but he cornered her in her spot. His two hands latched around her elbows, holding her arms straight and against the counter.

She didn't look at him and he didn't force her to, but he murmured velvet soft into her forehead, " I didn't say that."

" You didn't have to. It's obvious." She admitted in a defeated tone that had his thumbs compressing deeper into the satin crook of her elbow. " I'm not sophisticated…I'm just this dumb naïve little girl to your associates…"

" You think that's how I look at you."

" No. I just…" He nudged her up with the pad of his finger, forcing her to meet him halfway. " I don't want you shutting down on me…I mean we're in this together and right now I feel miles from you."

Shaking his head, he smile was miserable as he swept his other hand gracefully over cheek. His gaze and touch relishing in the intimate feel of her. " As long as you trust me, listen to what I have to say-"

" I don't like being ordered around." Her brow slanted up defiantly, " It just, it reminds-"

" Listen to me and I won't have to." Both of his hands were cupping her face now and she could perceive the faintest hint of a smile on his otherwise serious countenance.

" Excuse me." One corner of her mouth lifted, but her stare stayed sternly intact

" Elizabeth." Looking down at her mouth, he licked his lips in a hushed urging.

" That might have worked with other woman in your life, but not with me." He forced her hands from her sides and wrapped them around his lean midsection. She might as well have been hugging a roman statue. She forget sometimes just how gigantically big he was.

Eyeing him with a hint of disdain, she huffed up at him. " You don't tell me what to do or when to do anything. Understand?"

" Then we have a problem." His nose grazed her cheek, his tone lightly taunting.

" Yeah we do." She knew he was only being half serious, but she tried to break her arms away from his firm clasp anyway, but, of course, he wouldn't allow it. " I'm going to bed. We can talk tomorrow."

" I'm not finished." His eyes were like moors, lifting from a fog, enveloping her with a soul-grasping power.

She rolled her eyes playfully up at him. tried fruitlessly again to wriggle out of the cement strength of his hold, but after several seconds of no give, her lashes batted up in his direction, hithered and with a saucy petulance that shoveled under his restraint." What?"

The sparring glint of his riveted gaze accumulated, rose above and against her willpower like a great tide from nowhere." You didn't kiss me goodnight."

" Jason, please…"

Letting her hands go, he then trapped her in place with just the pressure of his midsection into hers. " I'm ordering you," His lips softly clung to hers for a clamping second, his cocky words undertoned in barely held desire, "…to kiss me goodnight. _Now_."

Her resistance was futile. In the end, she wanted him to kiss her. Maybe she could disregard her want for him now, but that would only make him that much more eager to break her.

Words were unneeded as her eyes flashed midnight blue, sprinkled in starlight against her curled ebony lashes which lifted sensuously up at him as she rose on her toes and he leaned low into her.

When he kissed her, it was like the whole of him, not just his lips were descending into her, absorbing a part of her with each stroke of his mouth, each gasp he pulled from her body with the delicious hot swirl of his tongue.

This kiss was thoughtful, shattered in a desperation that was seeking for her immediate comfort. Her hands came around his head, cupping the back of his neck, fusing their mouths close with each infinite pressing submerge. There seemed to be no pause, no end to their voracious taste for one another. His mouth was everywhere, stroking and suckling with such gentle attention, her knees almost buckled at the sweet feel.

Finally, breathing became a necessity and Elizabeth leaned her forehead into Jason's, one hand falling on her labored chest, the other still grabbing onto his neck." Goodnight." She whispered against his still open mouth, watching as his eyes stayed closed, still trapped under the effect of the kiss.

He let one arm go, slowly opening his eyes with drugging bats of his lids. And when he did gaze down his orbs lighted on her like a fresh dawn. Inescapably beautiful. She stumbled away with his fingers encased around her elbow, not letting go until it was absolutely necessary for him to detach himself from her.

She smiled shyly as his roaming eyes dimmed and lowered over her body." One more thing," she heard him say as she began to turn. She faced him again, wonderfully exhilarated and bit off balance.

When he didn't say anything and just elongated his lengthy visit of her body, his eyes touching every crevasse and curve of her, seeming to know which ones were already tingly in wait, she tipped her head, quietly asking for what he wanted.

His eyes met hers and the mist lifted only to reveal a tempting brilliance that knocked her over inside. " Don't take off the dress."

" But I'm going to bed."

" I know." His mouth parted, an animalizing pleasure coursed in uproar as his gaze once again licked over her body. " Once I'm done down here I plan on taking it off of you. myself."

She should have been used to him talking in such a way, but nonetheless, by now, she had come to the very surreal conclusion that she would never be immuned to him. No matter how many years and moments like this filled her memory. " Goodnight." She held his stare, her eyes receiving his promise with growing anticipation.

It was hard watching her walk away and knowing he wasn't going up there with her. He was so impatient for her body, thriving relentless with the need to claim her until she was thoroughly fucked and limp by him. Nothing else seemed to matter in comparison.

Primed, he made himself sedate, wash away the replica of her image that seared her naked pale body to every stitch of his reason. He had to hold it together. If he couldn't control himself, how the hell was he going to control this goddamn situation.

Soon.

Soon everything would be okay and he didn't have to worry about when, where or why. Soon he could be with her, with abandon and it wouldn't matter. He pulled his cell from his suit pocket, pressed the second speed dial.

" Max."

On other end the bodyguard was chewing something as he answered." Yeah?"

" You have both passports, right?" Jason walked to the edge of her entrance, leaning into the doorframe.

" Yeah boss."

" Good. You got everything ready then?"

Max nodded as he dug his hand into his bag of half eaten fritos." Like you told me. Why?"

" Because," Jason replied unwavering, listening for Elizabeth's petite footfalls and when he heard them he sighed heavily. "We might be leaving sooner than I thought."


	51. Chapter 51

" _There is no harm in doubt or skepticism, for it is through these that new discoveries are made." Richard Feynman _

How did Elizabeth fix something when she wasn't quite sure if it was broken?

On the surface, things could not have been better between her and Jason.

They had spent the whole weekend together.

Mostly in bed, but when they weren't wrapped up in sheets, tangled in each other, they were always with one another.

Jason hovered behind her as she cooked, leaning close, teasing her with small kisses as she attempted to make them an edible meal. They took their showers together. She watched him shave, never knowing that such a small mundane male act could be so utterly sexy. He watched her brush her teeth, clearly fascinated with her, which only made her giggle and bust out laughing, sending a cloud of watery toothpaste on the mirror and other near by utensils.

It was amazing, euphoric.

Just thinking about their unceasing attachment to one another, the way they couldn't _not _be together, had to be near one another like a nonstop fix, made her ache with an acute longing only he could replenish.

The connection between them had grown stronger with each passing moment, so immediate and outstanding neither could relent or hold back the inescapable need and the way they fed off each other's love.

The loving part was easy. It was just the beginning, the opening of the floodgates.

All of it was so wonderful, Elizabeth desperately wanted to pretend there was no nagging kick in her head every time she noticed Jason's far off look. But there was no forgetting what was becoming plainly obvious after spending countless hours with him.

She couldn't put her finger on what exactly she saw, but he was definitely holding back from her. At first, she assumed it was her imagination. She wasn't used to being this happy, this carefree and unrestricted with her feelings. But, in the end, those were just excuses. His distance with himself was more than that and she couldn't purposefully avoid the road flares of warning signs anymore.

In small instances, when he thought she wasn't paying attention, she would catch him staring into space, his hard eyes diamond cut and resolute; his chin jotting out from the hard grind of his mouth. She'd ask if he was okay, but he would casually brush it off and easily distract her with the magnetic burn of his stare, the callous breeze of his sense-crushing caresses, sending her body where only her limbs could cry out from the pleasure.

He had asked her, practically pleaded with her to trust him and she guessed that this was how he wanted her to. Blind faith, following the dark road ahead with no map or guide, not even a clear view of where to step.

She thought she had taken the biggest leap in her life by telling him she loved him. But now she knew that was just the beginning. Loving someone wasn't just a declaration of kind words; it was a commitment of action that lasted from the day made until death.

Love and trust were interchangeable; a daily conscious decision to believe that she was dedicating her life to someone who was worth all the pain and blessings because he loved her too and was willing to risk the safety of his own heart the same way she was.

She'd admit only to herself that she was a little over her head.

She didn't doubt her love for Jason. His love was the one part of her life now she could truly hold on to, her refuge amidst the crazy mess around her.

She wasn't sure what exactly she was worried about. She didn't want him hurt and she didn't want to be hurt in the process. It was difficult believing in something unseen or untouchable. Something no one could begin to understand but her, something even she couldn't explain if she was provided every adjective in the dictionary.

Jason loved her.

And maybe that was all she needed to be sure of herself and the rest of her life.

He showed her in every way one person could show another human being. Every time she looked at him she witnessed the gravity of love and its continuing miracle. She understood what people meant now when they said it was more than some obscure poignant feeling that people risked lives for, died for.

Love was not something to take lightly.

She just wished she could shake the awful sense of impending doom that was settling upon her like a dark cloud, blocking the clear horizon of her future.

" Hey."

The sleep in his voice made him sound deeper, drowned in a slumbered sensuality. His thick warm arms wrapped in a loose squeeze around her torso, the heel of his palms drifting up and down over their baby as his nose buried in the satin crook of her neck, kissing her with barely perceptible wisps of his full lips.

" Hi." She leaned her head back into his shoulder, her body feeding off the cozy solidness of his encumbering frame.

" Why didn't you wake you me up?" His gurgled question came out in a strangled whisper as he teased her with tiny adoring nips from his teeth.

She chuckled up at the ceiling, wriggling at the tingling sensations, silently wishing this, here, would never end. She squirmed, enjoying the play, biting down on her lip when he nipped into her shoulder a little harder, tickling her and then sending a shudder of flurried heat down her spine. " You looked so peaceful sleeping…I didn't want to bother you."

" You should have." His grip around her tightened and she felt him grin against her bare skin. When she turned his face was slightly more somber then she expected as he clutched her completely against him. " I didn't like you not being there." His blue eyes were gorgeously hazed from sleep and he was wearing his trademark t-shirt and jeans which she preferred.

" I promise I'll never wake up without telling you. Better?" Her smile stretched out as she watched him watching her.

The large expanse of his hand strummed over her lower back, weaving hot arrows over her sensitive flesh.

" Better, but not good enough." His forehead leaned into hers and she tipped the edge of her round nose up to breeze against his sharp one.

" You are never satisfied." She murmured, her voice rich with sudden craving as she trailed a hand down his chest

"With you, no." There was a seriousness laced under their mirthful banter. She could tell the way his eyes fell dastardly into shadow. " I was planning on jumping you this morning while you were still asleep."

"God," she grinned despite the lustful severity of his penetrating stare, " Do you ever think about anything besides sex?"

His gaze haunted his intent, illuminating down like black magic. " Like I said, with you…no."

" You're unbelievable."

" Thanks."

" I didn't mean it-"

He nodded, whispering in a slight tremble as his lips cascaded across hers. " I know." Inattentive to her words and beyond distracted as his brutal stare emboldened with unhidden captivity on her mouth, his lips rubbed over hers in an aching invitation that demanded access.

His mouth was eager as it moved over her like he had been deprived of her feel, not been nourished for years without her taste, when in reality they had just made love several hours ago.

He drank from her with greedy consumptive twists and pulls, cuddling her with the soft deep moist sweep of his tongue, worshiping her mouth with unbridled tribute that echoed throughout her whole body and then he would become ardent, with strokes that robbed the air from her lungs, made her stumble back into the desk behind her.

The cradle of his strong arms kept her body melded to his, their lips fusing faster with each untidy swallow of their joined mouths, each gulp pushing them harder against each, taunting the need to dominate in an escalated frenzy that had her leg curling around the sturdy muscle of his thigh.

The small move must have plunged him back to reality because he broke away, reluctantly dragging his face from off of hers, but his lips still rebellious stuck to her lips as he hesitantly shook out, "I have…I have to go to work."

She nodded, understanding, but hearing him through a foggy tunnel that she hoped would lift the rapid desire that rammed against her for breakage. " Yeah me too."

" Elizabeth." Just the way he slowly pronounced her name made her stand up straighter and take notice that he was no longer helplessly adrift to the lust she was struggling to manage. " You can't work at the bookstore anymore."

They both let go of each other at the same time. She leaned her lower back heavier into the desk, eyeing him warefully as he remained ramrod straight, his dogged stare unremitting.

" What do you mean… I can't work there anymore?" She didn't like the defensive notch of her tone but she also didn't particularly care for the unbending flex of his glare.

" It's just better for safety's sake if you don't work there."

" Do I get to know why?" She folded her arms over her middle, faint embers in her gaze, ready to stoke higher with little encouragement.

" Right now, things are tense between me and the rest of the partners. I need to know where you are at all times and the bookstore is too public to keep you fully protected." His explanation reeked of forced compliment and somehow she gathered he was more than unwillingly to submit to this.

" This tension…" she faltered a step when his lids lowered, blocking his expression," is it because of me?" The gut punch to her stomach told her she already had the answer, but for some reason she needed to hear the truth from his mouth.

His watchful gaze stilted, falling over her tightened form. " Partly. But this has been a long time coming."

" I see." She answered uniformly, but she didn't see. She really didn't. Because she knew he was lying. This all had her bumbling mishap from a couple of nights ago written all over the situation. The wreck her sudden presence had caused in his usually controlled life was a cold fact she couldn't easily dismiss now that it was affecting him as well.

" You're upset." He didn't ask, seeming to know the answer just by deciphering the open wound of her expression. Sometimes she really hated how easily he read her.

She shrugged, trying to abolish the lingering tension in the room, between them. She admitted softly, so softly if he wasn't standing right over her he never would have heard her. "I like working there…I like working. I've always worked."

" I know." He gently replied, cupping her elbow and drawing her back against him.

" I know you do. Its just better if I know where you are at all times."

Peering up at him through her lashes, she stiffened as her first reaction spilled from her mind. " Are you planning something?"

He closed his eyes, heaving at a sigh that endeavored for patience. "It's not something you have to worry about."

"But I do." She pressed totally against him, taking his chin in her hand as his eyes squeezed tight and he let her lead his face down to hers. She was aware that it was only because he was allowing her to take the reigns, but she took advantage anyway. " If it involves you I'm going to worry Jason."

" As long as I know you're okay and you trust me to take care of us then everything will be fine." His gaze glassed over, revealing little but the sterling hint of his deepening emotion.

" I do." She tenderly smiled up at him, tears peeked at the corners of her eyes and she wasn't sure why they were there.

His whole body seemed to relax and relieve itself of the piling rigidity all at once. " Good." His fingertips dented into her back, his smile was unhindered and sparkling.

" That's good to know."

His teeth scraped over his bottom lip and the piercing quality of his eyes magnified as she nibbled the flesh of her mouth nervously. His stare shifted darker into voluminous heaps of priceless bright gems

" You better go to work or you're going to be late." Elizabeth was the one to interpret his thoughts which were caught in her, working hard not to be swept under the wave of his obvious fervor.

" I guess." He murmured, blighted by her single touch when she moved her hand over his heart.

" Yeah." She shook a little too enthusiastically. " I just…I want you to be okay."

" I am. " He gathered her small frame in the shelter of the engulfing band of his arms. His velvet voice tipped lower as his sincere countenance multiplied to an invariable degree. " As long as you and the baby are fine than I'm fine."

Her nod came slower this time. " What time do you get off work?"

He kissed one corner of her mouth. " Late." His nose grazed her cheek as he moved to the other corner, just as deliberately slow. " Don't wait up for me."

" Maybe I want to." Her eyebrow slanted up disobediently in spite of his governing attempt to distract her.

" I want you to rest." He slowly unraveled himself from their cuddly fleshy cocoon and she noticed how much strength it took him to back away by the dull pain in his stare.

" Okay?"

" Rest." She held onto a few of his fingers, tugging on them. " Check."

He gripped her fingers harder, pressing the pad of his thumb into the silk skin of one digit. " I love you."

" Me more." She grinned, flustered by the admission and his discomposed gaze that wouldn't retreat.

This should have been routine by now. He would tell her at least once a day how he felt, whispering it to her with hot quivering breaths right before he entered her, but she knew now she would never grow complacent to the beautiful words that made her feel like she had clouds in her veins.

His stare didn't completely disconnect from hers until absolutely necessary and right before the door shut he winked, his panther like eyes gloriously wicked and latched devotedly to her.

He wanted her to trust him and she would. But then why was the sinking feeling she was having trouble shaking growing even stronger now that she had vowed the words.

* * *

He was going to do it.

He was going to ask Elizabeth to go away with him. Leave this life and everything in it behind them. Start over and never look back.

If she was willing to go, they would be gone before the end of the week.

He was ready, without a single doubt in his head.

There was nothing keeping him here. He wanted out. He never realized how much until he found out Elizabeth was pregnant.

Nothing else contested or mattered now, but her and their family. And all the mindless months he had spent completely miserable and flat without her were the exact reasons why he could leave and never think twice.

This life, what used to be his happiness and joy, what used to fill his head and days with overwhelming excitement and possibilities, was worthless to him now.

It was as simple as that.

Jason tried to search for the deeper meaning but there really was none. Elizabeth was his happiness and if being with her meant staying fulfilled for the rest of his life and losing all of what he was in full domain of, there was no loss. There was no sacrifice to be made. He was getting the better end. He was getting the life he had always wanted, he just had taken forever to figure it out.

What worried him, gnawed him sleepless at night, was her.

Elizabeth had a lot more to lose.

Unlike him, she had her family, a whole career ahead of her. She had potential and a promising future that didn't have to involve him. She was with him because she wanted to be. She loved him, but he was with her because the very thought of _not_ being with her cut him short at the knees. Without her, he was as good as dead inside. He was fully conscious of her hold over him and sometimes it scared him thinking how monstrous and great that hold could be, but trying to evade that kind of love wasn't possible.

Not then and now.

She was in him, an enlivening cruciality to his mercurial sanity.

He was asking a lot of her. He was well aware of all he was expecting her to give up just for him, but he didn't see any other way.

The other avenues of remedies didn't work. He had spent hundreds of hours thinking of any other possibility that would be less painful, less grappling, but the more he thought the deeper he came to the very real conclusion that there would always be another Anthony, another threat lurking to sabotage his life.

Jason refused to live like that.

The weight of what his job meant to him didn't hold the same amount of footing as it used to. He would find another line of work, another way to provide for him and his family. Being with her was the everlasting adventure he had spent his whole life searching for and as long as he was in complete possession of her, he would never want for anything else.

The intercom buzzed, severing what was now his usual pensive state. " Yeah?" He didn't turn from the large window he was staring unseeing out of.

" Mr. Marcone is on the phone, Mr. Morgan. I told him it was late-"

" No, its okay." Jason interrupted, clearing his throat. " Send the call through Charlotte."

He sat, breathing in like the task was laborious to do. His fingers shook as he clasped the heavy receiver and pressed down on line one. " Mr. Marcone. It's good to hear from you."

There was a heavy silence for so long Jason almost assumed they had disconnected.

" I'm glad you think so. After Friday's abrupt ending I wasn't sure you'd be happy to hear from me."

" I've been doing a lot of thinking about what you and the other men said and its made some sense."

" Really and what part in particular?" Mr. Marcone incredulously inquired.

Jason could sense the skepticism underlying his question. " Maybe sending Elizabeth away for a while until I clear things up is a good idea."

" It might be more than a little while." Anthony muttered in thought.

" I need her to be safe and away, but mostly I need to take care of business and I realize now I can't do that with her here." Jason concluded with absolute staunch resolve. " You and the other men were right."

Anthony chuckled, loving the stroke of his ego. " Let's talk details then."

* * *

There was something to say for having too much time on your hand.

It made her think. A lot.

Thinking, of course, was not a bad thing in itself. She had spent half the day shopping for odds and ends she had forgotten she needed; more baby clothes and groceries which they went through a lot over the weekend. But along with the daily schedule she was building Elizabeth found herself drifting upon the great life she and Jason were impending to undertake.

She thought about Jason. What a wonderful husband he already was. This was as novel to him as a newborn entering life, but he was so naturally good at supporting her, understanding her needs and being more than willing to fulfill her wishes.

Just thinking about how fortunate she was made her eyes tear with a plethora of gratitude.

So she decided to get him a late wedding present. Jason wasn't the sentimental type but she wanted to get something that signified their union, their commitment to one another.

It was hard finding something that was suitable enough, something that captured the essence of what they meant to each other.

Elizabeth wasn't looking for anything grandiose or polished. In fact she was going for something simple and elegant, but a little out of the ordinary, like them.

She was window shopping down a line of antique stores when she noticed a rusted over metal plaque with a saying that made her stop in her tracks_. A little faith will bring your soul to heaven, but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your soul. _

She didn't know what it was about the saying that caused her to stop dead in place, but the phrase echoed some realization in her soul.

Nothing about what they had been through was easy. She had grown up enough in the past six months to know life didn't work that way. Love didn't take the simple route. It insisted for every single morsel of strength from you and always seemed to want more just when you thought you had been emptied dry.

Her faith in him, in their love, is what compelled her to move on, go forth and keep believing they were going to make it and be okay.

It scared her sometimes. So much so her first and only instinct was too run, but where would she run to? Back to her attic, back to the safety of those bare four walls?

That life, that _her_, was centuries from where and who she was now. But if given the chance to flee, if she was placed on death's door and had to endure through every trial and tribulation the world threw at her, none of it would compare to the misery she had suffered alone and supposedly safe at home.

She understood now that no one was ever truly safe if they wanted to live and love. Life was about taking chances, walking on the unknown shaky dark path without any idea of the road ahead. Before, she had somehow deluded herself into thinking she had been playing life the right way, showing the fates or God a thing or two when it came to messing with her heart.

But life didn't work that way. You had to play along or you might as well be dead. Faith was the necessary ingredient for survival to plug forward. Without faith, in him, in their relationship, she'd be walking around unequipped for the battle ahead.

She was ready now. Ready for whatever life flung in her direction.

The second half of the quote stuck out because she could never quite verbalize what Jason had become to her, what he truly meant. But now the startling conclusion that he was nothing short of heaven for her and battered heart made it all real. He had healed her, made her anew and that was unchangeable. He was an unchangeable mark on her heart, a haven to her soul and she was not a fool to let go just because things were getting a bit rocky.

Standing in the reception area, a door away from his office, she smiled to herself. She missed him, couldn't wait to show him the dinky little gift. She was sure he'd understand and get it. For some reason, he was always the only one who understood and got anything she did.

His door was slightly ajar, but he was talking on the phone and she didn't want to interrupt or distract him so she waited patiently, skimming over the decorative art that adorned the plain walls around the small secretarial desk.

She turned her back just as his receptionist entered from the break room.

" Can I help yo-" Elizabeth twisted around at the sound of the female voice and Charlotte immediately recognized her. " Oh, Miss Webber, I didn't realize you were here. Jason's almost done with his conference. It is a bit late to be visiting him at his office though. He should be done shortly."

Standing opposite the distinguished red head, in her baby blue t-shirt and jeans, Elizabeth felt oddly subordinate, like a teenager. Actually, technically she was a teenager.

Meeting her gaze with a brazen curl of her brow, Elizabeth smiled curtly, eying the woman's short gray business suit and the slight indecency as she traveled a sapphire glare down her body which was three fourths legs.

" It's Mrs. Morgan. And don't worry. I don't mind waiting for my husband."

The unflattering snarl of Charlotte's otherwise perky features swam across unchecked. She fiddled with the short stack of papers on her desk, arranging the pens and pencils together the holder. " As you wish, Mrs. Morgan, but do wait out here. Jason doesn't like to be disturbed when he's in the middle of business."

There was no mistaking the hint of derision in her cordial theatrics. Elizabeth nodded, facing her fully and folding her arms over her swelled midsection. " I know. I wasn't going to. He doesn't even know I'm here…I just wanted to surprise him."

The thick coat of plied on makeup could not veil Charlotte's obvious disdain. She pinned Elizabeth with her contemptuous slit brown eyes, sizing her up in one short flick of her glare. " Do you really think you can handle a man like Jason?"

Her spine went stiff like a rod of ice. " Excuse me?"

The meager pencil pusher had the audacity to chortle, fingering the expensive pearls around her throat and giving Elizabeth a mischievous glare, like she was in treasured to a secret Elizabeth was not aware of. " I've known Jason for a while. He doesn't do commitments. At least, none that last."

She moved around the desk, never taking her catlike eyes away from Elizabeth. When she stood in front of her, she was a good half a foot taller. " You realize this is a business deal right? Jason doesn't do anything without thinking about the good of the business. He's strategic minded. He doesn't do messy emotional attachments."

The fight that urged to come out coupled with the know-it-all look in the redhead's eyes had Elizabeth's hip jotting out as she placed a hand on the protruding curve. " Wow, he must be one damn fine actor then because from what I've seen he shows emotion pretty well. In fact, he showed a lot of different emotions…_all_ weekend long."

Tilting down to reach Elizabeth eye level, Charlotte snuffed a repugnant glare, flaring her nostrils at the authenticity of her statement. " You're in way over your head little girl. Jason is a business man first and foremost. Remember, he killed his best friend without looking back. Don't think he won't drop you when the next best thing comes along."

Elizabeth must have been unable to hinder the sudden doubt that capitulated her snide cover because Charlotte grinned smugly, gathering her purse as she clicked off her computer and headed towards the door.

She left without saying another word, but Elizabeth had heard more than enough to squash her bright mood.

Wench.

She gazed back at the closed door. Wench and a half.

Of course in her heart of hearts she knew Charlotte was talking out of sheer and total jealousy, but the outlying of truth was what glued her immobile. She believed she could juggle this life if given the chance to make it work. She wasn't under and illusion to think it wasn't going to take effort, patience and bunch of other traits she was not in full possession of at the moment, but she was willing to strive towards whatever was needed and that's what counted in the end.

She heard Jason's voice raise, the anger blocking out his business like facade.

Clutching the small insignificant gift to her, she stepped towards the door. She wasn't meaning to ease drop, but she was curious at what would have him so agitated.

Jason's roar stopped in her in place.

It was what he said next that made her blood turn cold; made a lead ball of despair drop from her head to the weak buckle of her knees.

" I told you…I'm doing what you wanted. I'm letting Elizabeth go. I send her away and when the baby's born…I'll figure out what I have to do next. You won't have to worry about her anymore. She won't be an inconvenience in my business, okay? You were right!"

And then she ran.

Ran faster and harder than her feet could take her.

She ran and saw everything and nothing, the blur of her tears watered her view, the walls, the images, the expensive carpet as she whipped by thoughtlessly.

She didn't know anything, but she did know she had to get out there as fast as she could.

* * *

They were going to have to leave tonight.

Tomorrow morning the latest.

Jason closed the door to his office, massaging his temple with a forced hand.

This wasn't fair.

Not for her at least.

He wanted to give her time to adjust, understand his reasoning for this left field move, but time was the one commodity they were not in ample possession of.

He stood in the middle of the dark reception room, thinking, planning. His headache was pounding away at full capacity, the muscles throbbing as the pain clawed mercilessly through.

Packing was not going to be necessary. They could get whatever they needed on the road. Money was not going to be a problem either.

Jason was the one who handled the finances of this business. He would take what he had rightly owned. Anthony and company had trusted him with their books and accounts, now he was recompensing that duty threefold.

His foot kicked at a shiny object on the floor and his brow flexed darkly as he went to retrieve what looked like an unopened present.

His one hand cupped the small flat gift and in the shadow of the moonlight he could barely make out his name written in pen on the tag in the right hand corner.

His thumb skimmed for the tapping, recognizing the script as his wife's.

Just then Max burst into the room, sending both doors swinging up.

Jason immediately straightened, taking in Max's heaving breaths and exerted form.

" What the hell happened to you?" He stepped closer, lifting a hand to Max's shoulder in his slouched position.

Through starved breaths, Max peered up, remorse and sweat dripping from his expression.

" I tried to stop her…I tried."

" What the hell are you talking about?"

" Elizabeth," Max coughed, coming up to his full five- eleven height. His brown eyes were cast in sorrow and failure. " She was too fast. I-"

" What the hell are you talking about?" Jason grabbed at the both lapels of the bodyguard's suit and shoved him up against the wall. Every bone in his face bulged lividly taut against the skin, his cheekbones pulled tight along with his mouth like a deranged animal unprepared for attack. " Where the fuck is she Max?"

Even though he had know the man for most his adult life, Max had never been on the receiving end of Jason's temper and his lungs chose this specific moment not to work.

" She…she left."

He shoved him harder into the wall. " What do you mean she left? Where?"

" I don't know." He tried to explain past the lump of terror in his throat. " She was crying and I saw her get into a taxi before I could stop her. I was on her for about ten blocks but then I lost her."

The truth hit him like a collapse of bricks falling over his battered body. He let go of Max as he looked away, fisting his hands at his sides. Emotion ganged up on him, battled for supremacy and Jason whipped around, seeking the small object he had let fall away as his panic took over.

" I need to find her." He brought the unknown object up, tightening his hold on it before fitting it into his back pocket.

" Jason…" Max witnessed Jason mad. He had seen him furious and unmanageable, but he had never partaken in the lunatic rage that yawned for freedom like he was seeing now.

" Where would she go?"

Without saying anything, Jason left the room and Max was sluggish to follow his crisp fast moves, like a panther in search of prey. " Jason."

" I need to find her." His voice broke, desperation tinged his maddened exterior like the first crack on a frozen pond.

" Well, maybe she went back to her apartment or someplace saf-"

Jason stopped in mid stride and Max almost tripped at the sudden move. Knowledge sparked in his murderous complexion and hope lit his dead set stare.

She must have heard him.

His eyes closed as the thought of her hurt and pain plummeted through him.

Elizabeth.

_His_ Elizabeth.

She would go someplace safe. Some place where no one could touch her.

Jason knew now.

He knew exactly where to find his wife.


	52. Chapter 52

_**Well, this is it guys. **_

_**I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Maybe enjoyed is the wrong word. I know it wasn't easy to read. This, for me, wasn't easy to write. Sometimes it was damn near draining. **_

_**This whole thing started from my own heartbreak. I wasn't sure how to deal with it and writing has always kinda been a therapeutic outlet for me. In the beginning, as you know, I intended on Jason and Elizabeth not ending up together because I wanted to keep the story as real as possible. But I'm so glad I didn't listen to myself. Writing the HP has given me a little grain of hope, made me see another side of things I wasn't really even searching for. I learned a lot from this story and I think I grew a little along the way. If it touched anyone than that is a double blessing for me. **_

_**Thank you for all your support. It means a lot that you would take the time out to respond. I know sometimes it's so easy not to, so I appreciate the effort. It never went unnoticed to me and I will treasure each and every word forever. God Bless!**_

* * *

" _Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see." Hebrews 11: 1_

How she ended up here was a mystery only her subconscious had the answer to.

She walked, ran blindly as if her soul was willing her forward under some strange compulsion she had no control over.

Thinking was superseded by this force she could barely name, let alone stop. Elizabeth didn't feel like she was even walking in her own skin anymore.

Last thing she remembered was Jason's roaring explanation, the frustrated rip from his throat and how each word was like a punch of the right buttons into her fear, decoding her own personal nightmare and the shaming insecurity that never relented to feed off her.

God, would she ever stop?

Would she ever learn?

Her head was overstuffed with thoughts that didn't make sense, didn't add up, just useless stuffing that was being shoved inside her brain. Her nerves were sizzled fried and she had cried more in the past three hours than humanly possible. She was more than positive she had ran dry of any moisture in her body.

With the dull gleam of exhaustion in her eyes only tiredness could inflict, Elizabeth swept a glance over the very familiar surroundings, sniffling hard and wiping her leaky nose with the end of her shirt.

Nothing in particular had been altered since the last time she had been here, but she continued with an inspectful eye that sought for a change she subconsciously knew wasn't there.

She was expecting something to happen and she wasn't sure why or what exactly as she waited in her fogged misery for just a small morsel of difference to pop to her attention. Maybe the color of the siding would be lighter or darker; the shutters that hung and squeaked on a good windy day would be dangling lower.

As she stood on the dead lawn, like a lumped fixture as insignificant and easily forgotten as the old oak tree in front, Elizabeth took a limp guess that she predicted some sort of visible alteration because she was different.

But as always, her house hadn't suffered any repair or damage she could tell. And unfortunately, as she stayed rooted in her watch, the memories that passed over her and the place she had called home nearly all her life didn't belong to the same person she was now.

But that still didn't explain why she was here.

Her first instinct was to run when she heard him. Her blank mind went straight to autopilot and before she realized what was happening she was off in a cab with Max screaming after her. That was how her fear worked, fast to move and slow to think.

Riding on the same wave of emotion she had been on all through the two hour cab ride and the mindless marathon her thoughts had trekked down, Elizabeth stepped up on to the small brick porch and rapped on the front door, clutching her purse with both hands and forcing down the second guessing in her head.

Seconds lagged by and as she twisted and squirmed inwardly she speculated without a single doubt that in those long torturous seconds her parents were probably peeping behind the curtains watching her, enjoying the fact that they were indeed making her sweat.

Unfortunately from past occasions she knew she was not being paranoid or dramatic in her very on target assumption. Years of experience imposed such accuracy.

Then, what felt like from out of nowhere, the door swung open and her whole thought process collapsed into a dripping heap at her feet.

" Hi," was all she could manage.

Her father's gray eyes widened in uninhibited shock then squinted in infinite reproach down at her. He instantly gazed behind her, with a showy stare that messaged with unneeded interpretation that he was waiting for Jason to pop out from behind some bush.

After several seconds of awkward silence and inability to argue from weariness she stayed planted, watching as her father shook his pepper gray hair and shifted uncomfortably in his loafers.

" What-what are you doing here?"

Of course he would ask that. It was the one question she didn't have an answer to. At least not one either of her parents were willing to hear without making a public spectacle or breaking something. " I wanted to see you…I didn't know where else to go."

The truth surprised her as much as it did him. She wasn't used to speaking her thoughts so freely around him. His gray eyes ignited in parental overthrow, along with typical nostril flaring and a tight shaky clasp of hands and before she could call his next physical twitch her usually docile father was in full patriarchal tirade.

" I knew it. I knew he was going to do this to you. Didn't I tell you what he was like? Elizabeth Imogene Webber, this is exactly what I was warning you about." He spat with conviction, the veins under his eyes popping.

Immediately, as if her mother had some internal homing device that beeped when drama reared its ugly unwanted head, Carolyn Webber appeared from nowhere, primed and ready, scanning her daughter with an outrageously dissecting glare. " You look horrible, dear. Get in before the neighbors see you."

Next thing she was being dragged inside by the shoulder and hauled into the living room with little resistance from her snaillike mind. The mouse must have fallen of its wheel in her head. There really was no other excuse.

Tripping the rest of the way in, she sensed her parents following closely behind, like pervading shadows and unaware of their own intrusiveness. She wiped her hands over the front of her, knowing not even a days worth of swipes or pats could mend the mess she was.

Elizabeth paused when she heard the sweet sounds of her little brother next to the big couch in the center of the room.

And there he was, completely oblivious, running a fire truck back and forth with his hand, making pretty impressive siren noises as he remained in his own little world, transfixed and content in his childish play.

Hot tears welled fast and fell even faster without a breath to pass in between.

He had grown up so much. More than a few inches since she last saw him. His hair was darker, a little longer. She had missed so much. Time was such a merciless creature to people who longed to capture every instance they could with the people they loved; which was simply not possible.

Her hand pressed into her stomach.

She knew she was being silly and of course if she shared such thoughts with her obgyn he'd check her head instead of her baby, but there were moments when she could literally feel the child within growing, her body stretching to accommodate his or her every move, keeping them as comfortable and safe until the time was right and nature took over.

The joy, the total exhilaration that gave her, was indescribable.

" So, are you going to tell us what happened?"

Her mother perched a hand over the stubbed arm of the love seat, sitting opposite to where she was.

She was waiting, waiting for the I- told- you- so's and hour long sermons of rights and wrongs. Elizabeth could see the weak hold barely keeping her back, a bursting contained flame in her mother's stare.

Elizabeth sat her weary body down and let out the longest sigh her body had been storing in what felt like forever." He didn't do anything wrong." She whispered with the voice of someone telling a secret.

" Elizabeth." She rolled her eyes, straightening and crossing her legs to perfect the high and mighty look. " Stop the nonsense. We know you're upset. You've been crying." She stated plainly, wanting to dig deeper, get to the gory heart of the details. " You don't have to protect him anymore."

" I'm not." Her head shook, confused, but somehow enlightened by her own stinging admission. " I'm not protecting him mother. I love him…I love him and I want to be with him. Why is it so hard for you and dad to understand that?"

" Because," her father finally sat, taking a far seat on the same sofa as her. His movements were slow and protected like he was preparing for the worst.

Just like his personality. Just like she used to be. Like she was always backsliding into. " Because, pumpkin, he's not good enough for you. He's a criminal. You need to understand what it does to me and your mother to know you are wasting your life with that man when we know you can do better."

All she could do was stare; blank and uncomprehending as her eyes widened imperceptibly.

Her clouded gaze swung between her parents. First her mother who hadn't lost a touch of the composed state she was born to model for. Her father was stiffer, frozen, his mind running at warp speed and thinking of a million ways he could steer his child down a different path.

She licked her lips, twisted to face both of them fully.

" I have found better."

She waited for them to argue, whirl at her with finger pointing and more name calling, but when they stayed stuck in neutral, she continued, her brain a snowy void that seemed to be running pretty sufficiently on empty.

" Do you remember how I was before, how unhappy I was? You always wanted me to go out and experience new things…and I never cared for any of that. Jason…he made me care. He made me feel again." She gulped. She saw her mom bite her lip to rebut. Her father glanced away, holding back his own brand of revulsion.

But that didn't discourage her. " I can't explain, but I've always kinda felt dead inside and I didn't know I was until he came and…changed me. He made me see things differently. I'm never lonely or scared when I'm with him. I never have to be more…he loves me for me."

All gassed out, she stopped, cringing inwardly when she paused and thought they'd take the opportunity to fling in attack at her, but neither of her parents said anything.

Elizabeth wasn't sure she could even read their expressions if she was given a life size microscope. With his hands folded in his lap, the sound of Tommy's play the only life in the room, her father broke the silence with a low voice that valued control. " Then why are you here?"

That was a good question; one she hadn't known the real answer to until he had just asked it as this precise moment.

Suddenly she wasn't frightened any more. Both her parents continued to peer at her, lost in their own hurt and rejection, something she couldn't necessarily blame them for. After all, parents loved unconditionally and sometimes never received the returning sentiment.

But there was a fine line between love and obligation. She wanted to please her parents. She had spent most of her life climbing that particular ladder and never reaching the top, but she couldn't live her life the way they dictated.

It was _her_ life. And she had to live it for herself even if that meant living with their disapproval.

There were no words that could armor or shelter the tremble growing in her so she just started and hoped she sounded moderately coherent. " I hope both of you know how much I love you. You took care of me and you raised me the best way you knew how and even though we didn't always get along…that doesn't change the fact that you are my parents and that I will always, _always_ love you. That's something that will ever change."

" But?" Her mother actually had the decency to sound affected.

" But," she started again, feeling like she was talking with one engine down, " I need you to let me go. I need you to be okay with this and, for once, believe that I am doing the right thing."

Her father ventured a gaze her way, giving into something that seemed painful as he glanced at her mournfully. " What if we can't do that?" Her father's sad and soggy eyes dripped down on her like hail on a gloomy afternoon. " Will you finally come home?"

Her crying started without announcement and didn't cease as she mentally braved her future and his question with her reality, finally taking the daring step into a adulthood. " With or without Jason…no dad, I'm not coming home."

" Why not?" He whispered tearily.

She hated the defeated expression on his face, but that didn't deter her fight for the life she wanted. " Because I don't belong here anymore. I'm not the same little girl you remember." Her mother huffed and Elizabeth saw her flick a tear from her cheek which almost killed the rest of what she was about to say.

"This town, this whole place…I never belonged here and you know that. It made me miserable, but I like my life now…I like what I do…I love everything about it."

" Including Jason." Her mother concluded with a brittle tone that wholly contradicted the splatter of pain in her eyes.

Maybe her mother and her weren't so different after all.

" Yes." She swallowed, the tight burn of emotions depleted her strength slice by slice. " I need you to believe I'll be okay…that I'm going to be alright." Both of them eyed each other, their thoughts clashing without a word spoken.

" I'm happy." Elizabeth murmured blissfully even with her watery eyes and an iron fist in her gut. " For the first time in my life, I'm really happy."

Her father gripped her knee, squeezing lightly, his large hand encompassing the whole area. For a moment he looked lost in the past and she couldn't help but follow him for a second.

" We're just scared for you pumpkin. Don't you see that? We want you to be okay and be happy. We just want to make sure you are making the right decision. We're afraid you're going to regret all you're doing one day."

Her hand fell easily over his. His skin was warmer than hers, aged and perfect, completely her father. With those hands he had healed her scrapes, patted down her worries and encouraged her dreams and now that she was entering the role of parent in less then seven months, she couldn't help but understand the wonder and burden of what that truly meant.

" Dad, everyone's scared. For so long I was scared and I didn't do anything because I thought I was playing it right, being safe. But if you let yourself be scared, you never end up doing anything. Dad, I was dying inside. I know you didn't know and I never shared it with you, but I don't want be that person anymore…always scared and fearful of what's going to happen."

His fingers grabbed on to hers. She heard him stifle a cry with a tight jaw and she wished for him that she could take away his pain. " You're really okay?" he whispered tentatively.

" Yes…I am," Her head tilted to the side to capture his gaze. Her smile was small but brightly sincere. " I thought I wasn't for a second, but I am. I'm really okay."

Her mother stayed at her distance, but the frost in her voice and thawed considerably…for her mother that was. " Jason…he treats you good?"

Elizabeth's answer came automatically, color streaked across her face in brilliant shades only pride indulged. " He's wonderful. He doesn't even know it but he's going to be such a good father. He's already an amazing husband."

Her mother nodded. Her father loosened his grip, but moved near, brushing her shoulder and taking her hand into his lap. He glanced back at his wife, both of their eyes glassed over in a silent knowledge only a parent could translate. " That's good."

His chest felt like a cozy warmth, like childhood winters inside with a fire and a stack of old movies, irreplaceable memories that scorched the walls of her heart.

" I guess we can try, pumpkin." His hand released from hers and drifted through her curls.

She leaned the side of her face into his palm, committing this second in her life to memory. " That's all anyone can do dad." She muttered past her impaired vocal chords.

" We were just going to get some dinner, would you like to join us?," He murmured , the first sense of real love growing back between them, weaving them together in this moment.

" Thanks, but no." Elizabeth glanced past her father, her eyes traveled the length of the staircase. "There's still one more thing I have to do."

* * *

Life had a funny way of switching emotions around on her.

She wondered with a various array of feelings revolving through her as she traveled up her staircase, past her still bare room up to the attic, when exactly that sense of peace was going to hit her.

But nothing came, nothing soothed over like a switch that usually flipped on at the first sight of the door or the smell of the musty old wood. She waited, half in hope, stalled and wondering when the sadness would evaporate down to nothing and the security of this place would cloak away all things bad.

But it didn't. Nothing did.

Nostalgia never even swept past the front door of her mind. Not the solace she used to revel in like distant sunlight, like her dependable solution when nothing in her life made sense or clicked with who she was.

As she opened the door, peeked a wary head into the drafty old room, the only thing that truly overwhelmed her was an impending sense of closure, like she had gotten so far past the attic and all it meant that the person who existed now was miles away from who she was before.

In fact, she could be at home with Jason right now, knowing she would okay, that she wouldn't have to work for that sense of protection and acceptance to overcome her. But instead she was standing in the middle of what used to be her escape and feeling completely removed from all the customary emotions she was always anticipating to come vanquish the ugly of her world.

Not one thing had changed as she glanced around the dusty forgotten room.

Her messy canvases doused in her angst and pent up hurt lay stranded against the walls, some in piles beside her books, others laying haphazardly under her grandmother's old sheets.

The same musty smell permeated the room, clouded the air, the small beams of sunlight from the window exposing the dust in their flurrying dance in the air.

With reluctant steps, she made her way over to the small window. Standing and staring out the filmed pane, leaning on the sill, the whole embodiment of her old life felt so small next to her. She wanted to wish things could be different but that would be a lie.

This life here wasn't part of who she was now and what existed inside her.

Her fingers cruised over the rough wood that had never been sanded like it should have been and she watched as her thumb stroked the small dark spot unknowingly then dropped lower to the trail of smaller spots.

A corner of her mouth lifted but her eyes bubbled with cool tears.

Now she understood why, why the drive in her was so great she couldn't dissuade herself from taking each step until it led to the very last place she thought she wanted to be.

She was here to say goodbye.

At first she wasn't sure why. She had started to run because that was her, that was her first and foremost instinct for survival.

She ran and Jason shut down.

She always ran away. She had been running most of her life. She ran and never stopped until the pain was too far away for her to feel. Until she got so lost in something else only the memories of her heartache were what clung for attention, leaving a reminding scar her mind would force her to revisit.

She was so used to running, but she had forgotten how much she hated it now. How much it took out of her and tore her from where she really wanted to be, where she wanted to go.

She wasn't the same lost little girl who had to hide from the fear and the scary opportunities life presented. She had faced more terror and pain in the past months then some people suffered in a lifetime and she had survived. She had more than survived. She had made it and lived to tell the tale.

The fact was she was okay.

Life _was _scary and rough and about as unpredictable as the weather, but if she didn't live in it she was already giving up. That's not what she wanted.

She wasn't afraid to _be_ afraid anymore. Everyone got scared; everyone backed away and had their doubts, but as long as she allowed herself be human, she was giving herself the advantage to try and see things through.

And in the end, that was half the battle. Because she had taken the ultimate risk and now had something to live for.

Jason.

Jason had shown her how to live. His presence in her life had awakened her deadened body and revitalized the lifeless desert inside her with each whisper of his love, each stroke of his never ending kindness and care.

For a long time he, himself, frightened her, but she refused now to miss out on him and what he had to offer. He loved her and she had to believe that and stop second guessing and protecting her heart from some unknown doom.

Being with him was worth the chance, every pain, every future hurt she might feel and, for the last time, she wouldn't let that fear rule her and take her away from what she really and truly yearned for.

She had been a fool for too damn long.

Maybe her attic had once been her safe harbor, her home away from the home that mostly was a mere facade, but now, as she glanced around the dank setting, she realized the magic of her attic only existed inside her and nowhere else.

It had taken her too long to understand, but she was glad she had come because now she knew she had to be here to be able to go and never look back.

Her spin tingled in warm awareness as the door behind her creaked; the shuffle of hesitant feet breaking the thick silence.

She didn't have to turn to know who was there and how bad she needed to believe he wasn't done with her for her unforgivable rashness.

She swallowed the egg-sized lump in her throat, her head falling as she clutched the windowsill. " You're here. I didn't think-"

" I had a feeling." He whispered with an aching roughness that always served to unfurl her. She heard him step closer, his footfalls drenched in uncertainty. " Elizabeth, why… why did you run?"

He didn't sound angry like she thought perhaps he rightly might be. There wasn't even a hint of accusation in his question. She slowly turned to face him, her hands folded over her stomach.

She peeked a gaze up at him and he was closer…which she should have expected. He appeared as worn as her, wearing the same clothes from this morning except more mussed, his eyes blurry from anxiousness, his features altogether strained from what she had needlessly put him through.

He looked like he had been torn apart into shambles, disheveled mercilessly by his worry that managed to destroy even the strongest of men.

His blue watery eyes filled further with tears that didn't fall. " I thought I'd lost you."

The havoc in his surrender to such a thought made something shatter inside her. She nodded, coming almost against him, never taking her gaze from his. " No…no. You can't lose me, Jason. You could never lose me."

Gazing down in total absorption of her, she could see he wanted desperately to believe her as he grappled with his last inch of self restraint, but he stopped from taking the final full step and kissing her like she knew he badly wanted to do. " What-what happened?"

" I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I must have scared you by-"

He diminished the small invisible space. " It's okay…just tell me." His hand lifted to her shoulder, the warmth of his skin against hers a loving friction that instantly comforted her frazzles nerves down in submission.

Her lids batted as her muddled thoughts elbowed for an acceptable reason for her leaving in such a manner but she wouldn't back down. He deserved the truth. Lifting her heavy head to him, she was at a loss and not quite sure she could explain what she was going through and why she had to come here, but if anyone would understand it was Jason.

" I heard you talking on the phone…you were saying that you were going to send me away and that I wouldn't be a problem anymore and I guess-"

She felt him tense over her. " Elizabeth you don't understand-"

" Wait. Let me just say this okay?"

His luminous eyes dimmed, but still remained fiery in their brilliance. " Okay," he murmured.

" All I heard was everything I had always been afraid of hearing; being an obligation, a burden to the people that were supposed to love me. My parents…I know they loved me, but at times I always wondered why then I felt like I was somehow a bother…that's the last thing I wanted to feel to you. That's why I didn't tell you right away that I was pregnant…it's why I didn't marry you…I never wanted to be that again to someone."

" You're not." The throb in his voice deepened, his stare penetrating down on her like a forest of midnight shadows. " You were never that to me."

" I know." She whispered with a trace of shame. " I know that now, but when I heard you talking it just…it brought up all that buried fear I thought was gone. But before I knew what was happening I was here and I had no idea why until I talked to my parents…then I understood…I understood why I needed to come here."

Sensing the withdrawal in him before he thought to move, Jason slipped away, shifted his weight on his feet before walking around her to the window.

" Why?" He cleared this throat, trying to rid himself of the foggy content but it didn't succeed to help. " Why did you come here?"

She turned in his direction to find him staring out the window, the strong muscles of his back rigid for her response.

When she spoke she could sense the walls threatening to erect between them, shut her out for good this time. Her stomach clamped together tight. " Because I needed to…I needed to say goodbye."

Her answer had him pausing, going manikin still then turning slow and unsteady, his carved features shadowed with an assurance that he had misheard her. His gaze bobbed delicately between hers. " Goodbye?"

" Yes…goodbye." She whispered breathlessly, fixing him with a sturdy gaze he could not misinterpret.

Tentatively, she stepped up to him, his celestial eyes captured in hers with each revered flex , she- hooked on the infinite ache in his adoring gaze, feeling small and treasured just from the relished darkness of his stare.

With a desperation that stole the air from her lungs she wanted to run into his arms, for him to engulf her and for all her problems to melt away and be forgotten. But he deserved more and she wouldn't deprive him no matter how bad she longed for his physical touch.

Standing under his studying gaze, his face darkened with his back against the window, eclipsing the moonlight, she licked her lips and said, " I understand now that there is always going to be something or someone to be afraid of…that life is filled with so many problems that can tear us apart if we let it. I know that nothing is certain and no matter where I go or what I do, I'm always going to be faced with things that can make me run if I allow them to…but I'm sick that. I'm sick of being ruled by my fear and it keeping me from you."

Watching as his shoulders straightened, she continued with a strong sense of self and rightness. " But I realized I'd rather be afraid with you then alone and safe. I'd rather spend whatever short time I have with you Jason…no matter how scared I get…I want to live. I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone else go for what they want. I'm done hiding….I want you…I want everything you have to offer and I don't care how scared I am or how unsure the future is going to be for us. As long as I know you're by my side, I know I'm going to be okay."

At first he said nothing. She let the quiet descend on them as he devotedly trailed her face with his eyes alone. " You…you mean that?" Tear shimmered like crystal glass in his stare, the dark excitement in his voice unsettled.

" I mean it. I've always meant it…it just took me so long to get here." She smiled into his face, taking his hand and chuckling a bit at her own ridiculousness. " I guess I didn't know that all this time I was kinda of still shackled to my parents and this house. This place and what it used to mean to me. I guess a part of me was waiting for you to let me down or hurt me so bad I would have to come back here, but I don't want that. I'm not the same person I was before and this isn't the life I want. I want that with you…even if it means going away and not being with you for a while-"

" No." His hands lifted, cupped both sides of her face frantically, clutching the hairs there at the neck. His fingers swished over her cheeks as the glow in his eyes burned with unmistakable clarity. " No, you were wrong. You're not leaving me. Ever."

" I don't understand."

With a shaky intake of breath, like he was totally unprepared, Jason squeezed his eyes shut, his cheekbones about to splinter from the built in pressure. " What you heard was wrong…it's what I wanted Anthony to believe I was going to do…I wasn't going to send you away…not without me."

" Not…without you?" Her brow flexed and she waited for him to finally look at her and explain.

" Will you," he murmured, sounding stripped of all strength, "…would you go away with me if I asked you?"

Her mouth opened and closed several times before the proper words tripped out. " For how long?"

" For as long as it takes." He straightened slightly but he gathered her tiny form into the warm haven of his chest, kissing the top of her head. " I'm leaving the business, Elizabeth. I don't want it anymore. I don't need it. "

" Are you sure this is really what you want?" she muttered unbelieving, still playing catch up. " Jason, this business is your life. You've built it up and -"

"No, it used to be my life but it's not anymore." One of his hands pressed into the bump of her stomach between them. His lips whispered unsteadily against hers. " You and this baby are. I can't promise you things won't get hard. It's going to be tough, but-"

" But," she broke slightly away to gaze up at him, her mouth drifting across his, " as long as we're together, it's okay."

His head bent down to her eye level as a smile spread across him. " Does that mean you'll…"

" Yes" she nodded, bringing her forehead against his. "Jason. Yes."

His lips slid down over hers and he kissed her just way he knew how to, deep long kisses that missed her, waited for her, kisses that traveled to the center of her and spread out and through her body slowly.

His thumb rested in the indent at the corner of her mouth. " I love you."

He kissed her breathless again and the words stumbled out between an airy pause, " I love you," …right before his tongue grazed her lower lip.

He stopped after a second, looking into her and wondering how he had gotten so lucky when he felt so unworthy. " You're sure?" he whispered, rubbing her swollen mouth with the tip of his thumb.

She stilled under him, licking her lips and feeling his kisses on her tongue. She gazed up at her husband, her heart feeling ready to spontaneously combust as she stared into his eyes and saw nothing but unconditional love beaming back at her. " I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

* * *

_Two days later_

Anthony Marcone was not a man who sweat for anybody. There was little any opponent could do to cause him worry over any particular problem.

He never considered a situation dire until death was the only available option and even then he liked to negotiate till the bitter end. In his line of work blood shed was an unfortunate necessary sometimes for the better good, for exemplary purposes, but Anthony had been renowned over the years as a man who didn't run his territory with just a bloody finger.

He avoided threats as overdramatic and only vowed with an assured promise to his enemy that he sought respect and reciprocated generously when given. When that didn't work and the last available option presented itself, violence would have to suffice as a medium.

Jason Morgan, his wife, and their very unconventional circumstances had brought out the very worst in him. Yes, he liked what he liked and at his age change didn't come as easy as it did twenty years ago, but he had thoroughly tried to be as accommodating as a man in his power could be, but all his patience had been exhausted to its limit.

Before Jason had called and finally agreed with him and the other partner's arrangement, he was certain he was going to have go through with the hit on them.

Killing them was the very last thing he wanted, but if the future of the business depended on their demise, he wouldn't hesitate to point the trigger himself if needed and eliminate the very last obstacle that hindered their expanding rule.

Thankfully, Jason had finally come to his senses. Anthony reluctantly admitted only to himself that he was more than relieved with the mutual understanding.

Morgan's wife would be tucked out of sight and out of their way, therefore safe and Jason could finally get his head on straight and take on the increasing business and multiple plans to stretch their power into other states such as California and Las Vegas.

New York was not the only big state where money could be made and things happened.

Besides, Anthony wanted to retire soon. Take his wife and buy a nice little condo, finally relax and start really living. As far as he was concerned, Jason, if he proved himself with the potential Anthony knew existed deep down, could have the whole damn business if he wanted.

And in six months time maybe seven, he could tear a nice big chunk of money off, pick an attractive secluded spot and spend the rest of his golden years in the sun carefree.

But, sitting in his office, waiting for Mr. Morgan to arrive for the last twenty minutes, Anthony couldn't deny the ping of anxiety that momentarily bleeped for attention.

Especially considering Jason Morgan was never late.

The man was nothing if not punctual. He made an art of always being early, before the rest of the partners. It was the same every time. They would come in to find Jason already on his second beer, his signature brooding expression set in place, a half drunken bottle dangling between his long fingers, looking relaxed and restless all in the same breath.

Anthony ran a manicured finger over his tie, rolling a digit down the silk knot and lower.

Finally the buzzer rang and Anthony, in his true form, barely moved to press the button. His ebony eyes were trained on the door, unraveling the coming meeting and all the minor details they would go over.

" Yes, Barbara?"

" There's someone here to see you sir."

He twisted his seat, halfway facing the desk and leaning the weight of his elbow on the expensive wood. " Let Mr. Morgan in then." He instructed with a tinge of respite in his voice he was not accustomed to hearing himself carry.

He heard the older woman hesitate through the fuzzy reception of the speaker before she answered, " It's not Mr. Morgan sir."

His eyes closed and he wiped a corner of his mouth as if she had informed him that lunch was going to be served later than usual.

He should have listened to his instincts, followed the lump in his gut. Nothing ran simple in his business, in life generally, but he had thought this whole ordeal had run its course and in the end Jason was a smart man.

Without hinting the note of perplexity that went through him, Mr. Marcone hit the intercom again. " Let him in." He instructed in a unemotional tone, staying seated in quiet delay.

The young man who entered had a uniform on. Anthony's dark eyes traveled the length of him. He seemed nervous as he approached the large masculine furniture that surrounded the elderly mobster.

The boy's cap had the words Fed Ex sewed on the front in white lettering that he could swear was laughing at him as he leaned back into his leather seat and remained saying nothing.

" Sir, I was told to deliver this to you at this exact time." He lifted his clipboard with one hand, offering a pen with the other. His youthful brown eyes darted up but Anthony ignored him as insignificant, taking the clipboard and grabbing one of his own pens from his penholder.

He scribbled down his name thoughtlessly, a thousand avenues of reasons all accumulating to form a jumble of utter nonsense in his mind, which played and twisted with the circumstances invading him.

He grabbed the eleven by fourteen envelope, tapping a cool finger on the shiny outside that looked as inconspicuous and harmless as any normal delivery he had received countless times every day of his working life.

But somehow, without even opening the package, he knew this was no ordinary package.

The young man continued to stand there, looking dumber than Anthony even thought possible and it wasn't until he scowled with direct impatience that the boy stumbled back and practically fell out the door.

With no one in the room, Anthony made no attempt to keep his demur countenance, ripping into the envelope and throwing the flimsy barrier to shreds on the expensive carpet.

Inside were papers about as thick as a college thesis.

Leafing through, they appeared legal, Jason's name signed on the bottom of each one.

He plopped the stack of papers on his desk, very aware they were was meant to cause the biggest migraine of his life. He eyed the monstrosity as if the documents were going to jump up in attack and warily pulled off the first sheet of paper from the rest, bringing it closer for his aging eyes to fully examine.

" Son of a bitch," he whispered, immediately dropping the sheet and the small piece of paper floated down musically through the air, landing happily on his lap.

Eyes bulged, he heard the hard crack of his swallow.

The money was gone.

All of it.

Jason had wiped the business accounts clean.

The man was, after all, in charge of keeping all the accounts straight, going over the books, making sure the numbers added up, stayed in balance.

They had all blindly trusted him with their share of their investments.

Without forethought, Anthony jammed his thumb into the buzzer, forgetting all pretenses as he demanded with a shaky voice, " Barbara, did you get a hold of Mr. Morgan at all?"

" No sir. I've tried the club, but no one's seen him and he's not home. Would you like me to try again?"

" No. That's all." He tightly replied, standing up as he fisted his hands into his pockets and paced the room.

He didn't need to investigate anymore.

Morgan was gone. For good.

The bastard had one upped them all.

Stopping in front of his office window, a peculiar mix of emotions played slowly through him. His first thought and reaction was to be mad, seek revenge until he turned over every rock and hiding spot he could find, but part of him…a very miniscule part, had to hand it to the young fellow.

He had duped every single crime boss in New York. Men who were double his age and had years of experience on him.

Out of some depth or unvisited corner of his mind, a smirk lifted over his mouth with a great amount of resistance on his behalf.

Oh, this wasn't over. Not by a long shot.

Anthony would do all he could in his power to find Mr. Morgan and his blushing bride, but he had to give credit where credit was due.

Doing little now to stifle the chuckle that rumbled in his chest, Anthony murmured into the silence of his ofice, " Jason Morgan…you son of a bitch."

* * *

It was a good thing life didn't turn out the way she had planned.

And she had planned, planned more than any eighteen year old should be allowed.

Elizabeth had routed and mapped out every single precaution to insure her a pain- free life filled with only peace of mind; longing for a steel proof guarantee that the road she would travel would be the least cruel, easily seen and bump free of trouble. Well, she might as well have been searching for the fountain of youth because that fantasy didn't exist.

Thank god she had been wrong about it all.

Her naivety had shadowed, completely shrouded the reality that had been trying to smack out the past eighteen years of hibernating in denial. Who knew all it would take was a mobster with a bullet wound, blotting out all her plans, all her hard-worked preparations to force her to rely wholly on her instincts alone.

In the end, life didn't care how many plans you filled in your date book, with advanced trips or goals. Sometimes blessings came in the most unsuspecting of places.

" Hey."

Jason's thumb swished slowly across the top of her hand which was laying between them in his SUV.

She smiled lazily, staring out into the brilliant sun before peeking over at him. As always that floating sensation wrapped around her, squeezing her insides tight until breathing was a hard thing to come by.

" Hey yourself." She whispered, her voice caught in emotion that had snuck up on her.

With one firm grip on the road, his other hand tightened around her, his blue eyes bright as stars, heavenly crafted singularly for her undoing.

" You okay?" the velvet coarseness of his question always had the same stomach gripping quality, made her want to jump in his lap, run her fingers through his hair and forget about everything in the world except them.

" I'm good." She nudged his hand firmer into her grip, interlocking their fingers and drawing their joined hands together over the swell over her stomach. She looked down, an overflow of joy surmounting at the beauty of the sight before her. " I'm better than good."

He checked the open road for a second. There were no cars and they had been traveling on the same highway for the past two day's straight, only to stop for gas and food; which was how they both wanted it.

Jason had asked her not to tell her parents for their own safety and he had promised that once they had settled she could reach them and maybe after a while they could come and visit.

He understood what having a family meant and how that was something that should never be taken for granted. Time was not something they could frivolously waste at this point.

" You know its going to be okay, right?" He scarped his bottom lip, glanced at her, moving both their hands over their baby as he spoke.

" I know." Elizabeth couldn't squash her need to lean over and lightly graze his cheek with a kiss.

The small gesture had his eyes closing for a savoring moment where she could feel his hand trembling in hers. When she sat back in her seat, she eyed the open road, breathing in the crisp air of winter. " I'm not used to being so happy."

He grinned with fathomless understanding, bringing their gathered hands up to his lips to kiss the silky surface in a comforting caress of his mouth that captured all the warmth and comfort of home she had been searching for her whole life.

He murmured, relishing her reaction and not looking away, " We'll get used to it." His devilish eyes twinkled. " Do me a favor. Check the glove box."

" What?" she chuckled, not understanding his pleased expression.

" Just do it." He demanded insincerely.

" Okay." She leaned forward and squeezed the black latch, the door immediately popped open. The space was bare except for the small present she had bought for him two days ago. It was unwrapped, appearing ancient but so beautiful in its worn state.

" Thank you." He whispered lowly, taking her hand again and holding it over his heart.

Elizabeth Morgan got it now.

She understood that life wasn't about being on top, being the strongest and standing tall when heartache hit. In the end, it didn't matter how tough a person was or if they cried, fell or stumbled along the way ….because everybody did. Everyone made mistakes. She had spent her life trying to avoid something that was humanly inevitable.

She believed now that what really counted was just getting through it.

If you survived than that's what counted.

Hiding away between four walls with only your conscious to keep your company was no way to live. All hearts were breakable, fragile instruments that easily wounded, but the great thing was how incredibly durable they were.

No matter how many strikes or blows, the heart kept on ticking, kept on surviving because that was what it was made for and as long as she was willing to make the choice and live, she was choosing to fight, to win, to get all the dreams she had coming to her.

And she was ready. Finally ready for her life.

She knew nothing could prepare her the best and worst to come, but that wasn't the point either. She was willing to face it all because she had gotten the one thing she never knew she always wanted. The gift of love and more importantly acceptance and that was a treasure worth fighting for, one she would cherish till her last breath.

With Jason by her side, she was ready for all of life's unpredictability.

She chuckled into the open window, squeezing her husband's hand a little tighter then smiled when he kissed a fingertip.

She was scared, but she was ready.

And in the end, that's what mattered.

Life could throw whatever curve ball it wanted to.

As far as she was concerned, she wasn't going to waste time caring because time was a gift, a precious gift she wasn't going to squander with doubts. She got how invaluable every minute was and she had finally learned her lesson.

She was done hiding, done running from her problems.

She was going to be okay.

She grinned into the air, breathing in the stark coldness and loving the sweet feel. Her eyes glistened, mingled in anticipation and promise.

Elizabeth wasn't sure where they were headed, what laid in wait for them, but life could bring it on.

Elizabeth had finally found her home.


End file.
